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The world longest joke (Pt 2)
2023.05.28 04:49 moe_master The world longest joke (Pt 2)
I told you that you'd heal quickly now."
"Yeah, well, still," said Jack, "it's the principle of the thing. And nobody likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn't you have gotten my calf or something instead?"
"More meat in the typical human butt," replied Nate. "And less chance you accidentally kick me or move at the last second."
"Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify to hear," answered Jack.
"Ok," said Nate. "Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to just start talking?"
"Just talk," said Jack. "I'll sit here and try to not think about food."
"We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like," answered Nate.
"Hey! You didn't tell me you had food around here, Nate!" Jack jumped up. "What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically whip up food along with your other powers?" Jack was almost shouting with excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.
"I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife, that is," replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.
"Ugh," said Jack, sitting back down. "I think I'll pass. I can last a little longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it is you find out here. And there's nothing to burn - I'd have to eat it raw. No thanks. Just talk."
"Ok," replied Nate, still grinning. "But I'd better hurry, before you start looking at me as food.
Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued. "You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden."
Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate sceptically.
"Well, that's the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack," said Nate. "Stand up and look at the symbol on the rock here." Nate gestured around the dark stone they were both sitting on with his nose.
Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches left the trunk to reach out across the stone. It was very well done - it looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and embedded in the stone than it did like a carving.
Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the setting sun. He wished he'd looked at it while the sun was higher in the sky.
Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another night out here! Arrrgh!
Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and stood next to Nate. "In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate," said Jack. "Which way is it back to town? And how far? I'm eventually going to have to head back - I'm not sure I'll be able to survive by eating raw desert critters for long. And even if I can, I'm not sure I'll want to."
"It's about 30 miles that way." Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to the way he'd been going when he was crawling here. "But that's 30 miles by the way the crow flies. It's about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head out early tomorrow, Jack."
Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting stuff. "Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?"
"Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway," said Nate. "He figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a 'tree', offering 'temptations', making bargains. That kind stuff. But he could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from across the ocean. He worried about that for a while."
"Garden of Eden, hunh?" said Jack. "How long have you been here, Nate?"
"No idea, really," replied Nate. "A long time. It never occurred to me to count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it's been thousands of years, at least."
"So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?" said Jack.
"Beats me," said Nate. "Maybe. I can't remember if the first one of your kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant requests a 'temptation', though I've rarely had refusals."
"Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out of the stone there?" asked Jack.
"Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake - much bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don't remember if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I've been here ever since.
"What is this place?" said Jack. "And what did he ask you to do?"
"Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?" Nate loosened his coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but Nate was suddenly there in the way.
"You can't touch that yet, Jack," said Nate.
"Why not?" asked Jack.
"I haven't explained it to you yet," replied Nate.
"Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something," said Jack. "You'd push it that way, and it would move in the slot."
"Yep, that's what it is," replied Nate.
"What does it do?" asked Jack. "End the world?"
"Oh, no," said Nate. "Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it 'The Lever of Doom'." For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and grinned.
Jack was initially startled by Nate's pronouncement, but when Nate grinned Jack laughed. "Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it really do?"
"Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said," smirked Nate. "I just thought the voice I used was funny, didn't you?"
Nate continued to grin.
"A lever to end humanity?" asked Jack. "What in the world is that for? Why would anyone need to end humanity?"
"Well," replied Nate, "I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment. Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really bad, there should be a way to end it. I'm not really sure. All I know are the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it's here. I didn't think to ask back when I started here."
"Rules? What rules?" asked Jack.
"The rules are that I can't tell anybody about it or let them touch it unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human can be bound in that way at a time. That's it." explained Nate.
Jack looked somewhat shocked. "You mean that I could pull the lever now? You'd let me end humanity?"
"Yep," replied Nate, "if you want to." Nate looked at Jack carefully. "Do you want to, Jack?"
"Umm, no." said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. "Why in the world would anyone want to end humanity? It'd take a psychotic to want that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too, wouldn't it?"
"Yep," replied Nate, "being as he'd be human too."
"Has anyone ever seriously considered it?" asked Jack. "Any of those bound to secrecy, that is?"
"Well, of course, I think they've all seriously considered it at one time or another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and think, or so I'm told. Samuel considered it several times. He'd often get disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while. But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn't be here." Nate grinned some more.
Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at the same time. After a bit, he said, "So this makes me the Judge of humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?"
"That seems to be it," agreed Nate.
"What kind of criteria do I use to decide?" said Jack. "How do I make this decision? Am I supposed to decide if they're good? Or too many of them are bad? Or that they're going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?"
"Nope," replied Nate. "You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It's up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you're just supposed to know."
"But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel horrible? Couldn't I make a mistake? How do I know that I won't screw up?" protested Jack.
Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. "You don't. You just have to try your best, Jack."
Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly getting dark, chewing on a fingernail.
Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. "Nate, was Samuel the one bound to this before me?"
"Yep," replied Nate. "He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months ago."
"Sounds like a good guy," agreed Jack. "How did he handle this, when you first told him. What did he do?"
"Well," said Nate, "he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and then asked me some questions, much like you're doing."
"What did he ask you, if you're allowed to tell me?" asked Jack.
"He asked me about the third request," replied Nate.
"Aha!" It was Jack's turn to grin. "And what did you tell him?"
"I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you'll come here and end it. You won't avoid it, and you won't wimp out." Nate looked serious again. "And you'll be bound to do it too, Jack."
"Hmmm." Jack looked back out into the darkness for a while.
Nate watched him, waiting.
"Nate," continued Jack, quietly, eventually. "What did Samuel ask for with his third request?"
Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly, "Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him."
"Ok," said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, "give it to me.
Nate looked at Jack's backside. "Give you what, Jack?"
"Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped him, maybe it'll help me too." Jack turned his head to look back over his shoulder at Nate. "It did help him, right?"
"He said it did," replied Nate. "But he seemed a little quieter afterward. Like he had a lot to think about."
"Well, yeah, I can see that," said Jack. "So, give it to me." Jack turned to face away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up.
Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now, Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both.
"You remember that you'll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like it needs it, right Jack?" asked Nate, shifting position.
"Yeah, yeah, I got that," replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate's voice.
"And," continued Nate, from his new position, "do you remember that you'll turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?"
"Yeah, yeah...Hey, wait a minute!" said Jack, opening his eyes, straightening up and turning around. "Purple?!" He didn't see Nate there. With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot in the rock without the snake wrapped around it.
Jack heard, from behind him, Nate's "Just Kidding!" right before he felt the now familiar piercing pain, this time in the other buttock.
Jack sat on the edge of the dark stone in the rapidly cooling air, his feet extending out into the sand. He stared out into the darkness, listening to the wind stir the sand, occasionally rubbing his butt where he'd been recently bitten.
Nate had left for a little while, had come back with a desert-rodent-shaped bulge somewhere in his middle, and was now wrapped back around the lever, his tongue flicking out into the desert night's air the only sign that he was still awake.
Occasionally Jack, with his toes absentmindedly digging in the sand while he thought, would ask Nate a question without turning around.
"Nate, do accidents count?"
Nate lifted his head a little bit. "What do you mean, Jack?"
Jack tilted his head back like he was looking at the stars. "You know, accidents. If I accidentally fall on the lever, without meaning to, does that still wipe out humanity?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does, Jack. I'd suggest you be careful about that if you start feeling wobbly," said Nate with some amusement.
A little later - "Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?" asked Jack.
"That's the rule, Jack. Nobody else can pull it," answered Nate.
"No," Jack shook his head, "I meant does it have to be my hand? Could I pull the lever with a rope tied around it? Or push it with a stick? Or throw a rock?"
"Yes, those should work," replied Nate. "Though I'm not sure how complicated you could get. Samuel thought about trying to build some kind of remote control for it once, but gave it up. Everything he'd build would be gone by the next sunrise, if it was touching the stone, or over it. I told him that in the past others that had been bound had tried to bury the lever so they wouldn't be tempted to pull it, but every time the stones or sand or whatever had disappeared."
"Wow," said Jack, "Cool." Jack leaned back until only his elbows kept him off of the stone and looked up into the sky.
"Nate, how long did Samuel live? One of his wishes was for health too, right?" asked Jack.
"Yes," replied Nate, "it was. He lived 167 years, Jack."
"Wow, 167 years. That's almost 140 more years I'll live if I live as long. Do you know what he died of, Nate?"
"He died of getting tired of living, Jack," Nate said, sounding somewhat sad.
Jack turned his head to look at Nate in the starlight.
Nate looked back. "Samuel knew he wasn't going to be able to stay in society. He figured that they'd eventually see him still alive and start questioning it, so he decided that he'd have to disappear after a while. He faked his death once, but changed his mind - he decided it was too early and he could stay for a little longer. He wasn't very fond of mankind, but he liked the attention. Most of the time, anyway.
"His daughter and then his wife dying almost did him in though. He didn't stay in society much longer after that. He eventually came out here to spend time talking to me and thinking about pulling the lever. A few months ago he told me he'd had enough. It was his time."
"And then he just died?" asked Jack.
Nate shook his head a little. "He made his fourth request, Jack. There's only one thing you can ask for the fourth request. The last bite.
After a bit Nate continued, "He told me that he was tired, that it was his time. He reassured me that someone new would show up soon, like they always had.
After another pause, Nate finished, "Samuel's body disappeared off the stone with the sunrise."
Jack lay back down and looked at the sky, leaving Nate alone with his memories. It was a long time until Jack's breathing evened out into sleep.
Jack woke with the sunrise the next morning. He was a little chilled with the morning desert air, but overall was feeling pretty good. Well, except that his stomach was grumbling and he wasn't willing to eat raw desert rat.
So, after getting directions to town from Nate, making sure he knew how to get back, and reassuring Nate that he'd be back soon, Jack started the long walk back to town. With his new health and Nate's good directions, he made it back easily.
Jack caught a bus back to the city, and showed up for work the next day, little worse for the wear and with a story about getting lost in the desert and walking back out. Within a couple of days Jack had talked a friend with a tow truck into going back out into the desert with him to fetch the SUV. They found it after a couple of hours of searching and towed it back without incident. Jack was careful not to even look in the direction of Nate's lever, though their path back didn't come within sight of it.
Before the next weekend, Jack had gone to a couple of stores, including a book store, and had gotten his SUV back from the mechanic, with a warning to avoid any more joyriding in the desert. On Saturday, Jack headed back to see Nate.
Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn't unheard of, and shouldn't really raise suspicions.
Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers. Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world, others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate, and then headed out again, telling Nate that he'd be back again soon, but that he had things to do first.
Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought a laptop with him - a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger, special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out its location to the satellite.
After that Jack could e-mail Nate to keep in touch, but still visited him fairly regularly - at least once or twice a year.
After the first year, Jack quit his job. For some reason, with the wisdom he'd been given, and the knowledge that he could live for over 150 years, working in a nine to five job for someone else didn't seem that worthwhile any more. Jack went back to school.
Eventually, Jack started writing. Perhaps because of the wisdom, or perhaps because of his new perspective, he wrote well. People liked what he wrote, and he became well known for it. After a time, Jack bought an RV and started traveling around the country for book signings and readings.
But, he still remembered to drop by and visit Nate occasionally.
On one of the visits Nate seemed quieter than usual. Not that Nate had been a fountain of joy lately. Jack's best guess was that Nate was still missing Samuel, and though Jack had tried, he still hadn't been able to replace Samuel in Nate's eyes. Nate had been getting quieter each visit. But on this visit Nate didn't even speak when Jack walked up to the lever. He nodded at Jack, and then went back to staring into the desert. Jack, respecting Nate's silence, sat down and waited.
After a few minutes, Nate spoke. "Jack, I have someone to introduce you to."
Jack looked surprised. "Someone to introduce me to?" Jack looked around, and then looked carefully back at Nate. "This something to do with the Big Guy?
"No, no," replied Nate. "This is more personal. I want you to meet my son." Nate looked over at the nearest sand dune. "Sammy!"
Jack watched as a four foot long desert rattlesnake crawled from behind the dune and up to the stone base of the lever.
"Yo, Jack," said the new, much smaller snake.
"Yo, Sammy" replied Jack. Jack looked at Nate. "Named after Samuel, I assume?"
Nate nodded. "Jack, I've got a favor to ask you. Could you show Sammy around for me?" Nate unwrapped himself from the lever and slithered over to the edge of the stone and looked across the sands. "When Samuel first told me about the world, and brought me books and pictures, I wished that I could go see it. I wanted to see the great forests, the canyons, the cities, even the other deserts, to see if they felt and smelled the same. I want my son to have that chance - to see the world. Before he becomes bound here like I have been.
"He's seen it in pictures, over the computer that you brought me. But I hear that it's not the same. That being there is different. I want him to have that. Think you can do that for me, Jack?"
Jack nodded. This was obviously very important to Nate, so Jack didn't even joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. "Yeah, I can do that for you, Nate. Is that all you need?" Jack could sense that was something more.
Nate looked at Sammy. Sammy looked back at Nate for a second and then said, "Oh, yeah. Ummm, I've gotta go pack. Back in a little bit Jack. Nice to meet ya!" Sammy slithered back over the dune and out of sight.
Nate watched Sammy disappear and then looked back at Jack. "Jack, this is my first son. My first offspring through all the years. You don't even want to know what it took for me to find a mate." Nate grinned to himself. "But anyway, I had a son for a reason. I'm tired. I'm ready for it to be over. I needed a replacement."
Jack considered this for a minute. "So, you're ready to come see the world, and you wanted him to watch the lever while you were gone?"
Nate shook his head. "No, Jack - you're a better guesser than that. You've already figured out - I'm bound here - there's only one way for me to leave here. And I'm ready. It's my time to die."
Jack looked more closely at Nate. He could tell Nate had thought about this - probably for quite a while. Jack had trouble imagining what it would be like to be as old as Nate, but Jack could already tell that in another hundred or two hundred years, he might be getting tired of life himself. Jack could understand Samuel's decision, and now Nate's. So, all Jack said was, "What do you want me to do?"
Nate nodded. "Thanks, Jack. I only want two things. One - show Sammy around the world - let him get his fill of it, until he's ready to come back here and take over. Two - give me the fourth request.
"I can't just decide to die, not any more than you can. I won't even die of old age like you eventually will, even though it'll be a long time from now. I need to be killed. Once Sammy is back here, ready to take over, I'll be able to die. And I need you to kill me.
"I've even thought about how. Poisons and other drugs won't work on me. And I've seen pictures of snakes that were shot - some of them live for days, so that's out too. So, I want you to bring back a sword.
Nate turned away to look back to the dune that Sammy had gone behind. "I'd say an axe, but that's somewhat undignified - putting my head on the ground or a chopping block like that. No, I like a sword. A time-honored way of going out. A dignified way to die. And, most importantly, it should work, even on me.
"You willing to do that for me, Jack?" Nate turned back to look at Jack.
"Yeah, Nate," replied Jack solemnly, "I think I can handle that."
Nate nodded. "Good!" He turned back toward the dune and shouted, "Sammy! Jack's about ready to leave!" Then quietly, "Thanks, Jack."
Jack didn't have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then headed into the desert with Sammy following.
Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few wild rumors and stories followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the newspapers or the public in general.
When they finished the tour of countries, Jack suggested that they try some undersea diving. They did. And spelunking. They did that too. Sammy finally drew the line at visiting Antarctica. He'd come to realize that Jack was stalling. After talking to his Dad about it over e-mail, he figured out that Jack probably didn't want to have to kill Nate. Nate told Sammy that humans could be squeamish about killing friends and acquaintances.
So, Sammy eventually put his tail down (as he didn't have a foot) and told Jack that it was time - he was ready to go back and take up his duties from his dad. Jack, delayed it a little more by insisting that they go back to Japan and buy an appropriate sword. He even stretched it a little more by getting lessons in how to use the sword. But, eventually, he'd learned as much as he was likely to without dedicating his life to it, and was definitely competent enough to take the head off of a snake. It was time to head back and see Nate.
When they got back to the US, Jack got the old RV out of storage where he and Sammy had left it after their tour of the fifty states, he loaded up Sammy and the sword, and they headed for the desert.
When they got to the small town that Jack had been trying to find those years ago when he'd met Nate, Jack was in a funk. He didn't really feel like walking all of the way out there. Not only that, but he'd forgotten to figure the travel time correctly, and it was late afternoon. They'd either have to spend the night in town and walk out tomorrow, or walk in the dark.
As Jack was afraid that if he waited one more night he might lose his resolve, he decided that he'd go ahead and drive the RV out there. It was only going to be this once, and Jack would go back and cover the tracks afterward. They ought to be able to make it out there by nightfall if they drove, and then they could get it over tonight.
Jack told Sammy to e-mail Nate that they were coming as he drove out of sight of the town on the road. They then pulled off the road and headed out into the desert.
Everything went well, until they got to the sand dunes. Jack had been nursing the RV along the whole time, over the rocks, through the creek beds, revving the engine the few times they almost got stuck. When they came to the dunes, Jack didn't really think about it, he just downshifted and headed up the first one. By the third dune, Jack started to regret that he'd decided to try driving on the sand. The RV was fishtailling and losing traction. Jack was having to work it up each dune slowly and was trying to keep from losing control each time they came over the top and slid down the other side. Sammy had come up to sit in the passenger seat, coiled up and laughing at Jack's driving.
As they came over the top of the fourth dune, the biggest one yet, Jack saw that this was the final dune - the stone, the lever, and somewhere Nate, waited below. Jack put on the brakes, but he'd gone a little too far. The RV started slipping down the other side.
Jack tried turning the wheel, but he didn't have enough traction. He pumped the brakes - no response. They started sliding down the hill, faster and faster.
Jack felt a shock go through him as he suddenly realized that they were heading for the lever. He looked down - the RV was directly on course for it. If Jack didn't do something, the RV would hit it. He was about to end humanity.
Jack steered more frantically, trying to get traction. It still wasn't working. The dune was too steep, and the sand too loose. In a split second, Jack realized that his only chance would be once he hit the stone around the lever - he should have traction on the stone for just a second before he hit the lever - he wouldn't have time to stop, but he should be able to steer away.
Jack took a better grip on the steering wheel and tried to turn the RV a little bit - every little bit would help. He'd have to time his turn just right.
The RV got to the bottom of the dune, sliding at an amazing speed in the sand. Just before they reached the stone Jack looked across it to check that they were still heading for the lever. They were. But Jack noticed something else that he hadn't seen from the top of the dune. Nate wasn't wrapped around the lever. He was off to the side of the lever, but still on the stone, waiting for them. The problem was, he was waiting on the same side of the lever that Jack had picked to steer towards to avoid the lever. The RV was already starting to drift that way a little in its mad rush across the sand and there was no way that Jack was going to be able to go around the lever to the other side.
Jack had an instant of realization. He was either going to have to hit the lever, or run over Nate. He glanced over at Sammy and saw that Sammy realized the same thing.
Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone. Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, "Better Nate than lever!", he ran over the snake.
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2023.05.28 03:24 xavix-em2 need help starting!
So I’ve never owned a Honda before and I picked up a 02 lx automatic. The cars been great but three months now. It won’t turn on. The only issue I’ve had up to the point was the car stalling. I assumed it was a Honda thing and kept driving. I checked my battery and alternator the first times I was stalling to cancel that out. So I went to the starter and changed that.nothing. I changed the spark plugs cause they were shot. Nothing. I changed the fuel pump now cause it wasn’t turning on.nothing. I then was led to the camshaft positioning sensor.nothing. I changed the battery and fixed all grounds on the car. I changed the key lock cylinder. Nothing. I was also led to the ecm to either update or change. I changed it and now need it to be programmed to see if it will turn over. I will say. We have gotten it running but the car dies out because the Ecu is grounding out the fuel pump cutting my fuel so when we get it running by jumping the wire for the fuel pump it dies out. So somewhere im losing powers to my fuel. Any ideas at all ? I’m now planning on taking it to a shop to program the key but also diagnose it. I have a strong feeling even if the ecm works something somewhere is messed up. What do y’all think pls im new to this shi. NI’m tryna get my baby goin again.
submitted by xavix-em2
to 7thgencivic [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 03:22 Mechanics_Rocks101 2008 dodge caliber 2.0L belt issue
So I have this dodge caliber that is having belt issues just recently I replaced the power steering pump and harmonic balancer but just had the brand new belt snap on me what could have caused that to happen?
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2023.05.28 00:57 Thin_Scarcity_4546 I was killed in a life and used the time machine to undo it, now I’m in a completely different life and I cant get into my other life. I had 2 zillion and over 40 generations. Does anyone know how to undo this?
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2023.05.28 00:32 ParadoxSquid Okay so I have completed auto to manual motor and transmission swap. Car runs flawless in every aspect except for 1 thing! It’s a 95 DX civic hatch.
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I have power steering hooked up and system bled. I am using the stick PS rack which has 3 ports. Stock configuration: submitted by ParadoxSquid to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
1 return to reservoir 2 return to reservoir 3 high pressure from Pump
I swapped in a k20a2 and hooked it up in this configuration:
1 capped off 2 return to reservoir 3 high pressure from pump
Issue: When I start the vehicle and sit at idle the car turns the wheel automatically all the way right to full lock.
My guess is that the capped return line “1” is causing unbalanced pressure.
If I take a line from “1” and T fit it to “2” this should fix the issue?
2023.05.27 23:46 white_seraph New to Me: 06' 2.7L 4x4 5spd Reg Cab
Young 108k mi. Frame has no significant rust but other parts do like the bumper. Looks like it needs new power steering pump and hoses really soon. Surprised by its shape for being a Midwest find.
Looking for upgrade ideas to keep it going another 108k miles and 17 years. https://imgur.com/TGN2PIi.jpg
submitted by white_seraph
to ToyotaTacoma [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 22:57 Magikul_Unikorn 2006 CLK350 Mercedes
I got Barb the Benz back from my shop on Monday with a new power steering pump and full back breaks (pads rotors and a cable wire). Yesterday while driving the check engine light came on. Used a scanner and got these codes. My mechanic is backed up a week and I was wondering if it is safe to drive.
Intake Manifold Runner Control Stuck closed Bank 1
EVAP System Purge Control Valve A Circuit Open
Thanks all, happy Memorial Day weekend!
submitted by Magikul_Unikorn
to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 22:24 mooddoom Highest Watt Portable Generator for Back-Feeding
I’m currently in the market for a new generator and am wanting to verify a few specifications before purchasing anything.
The way our system was configured by the previous owner is by back-feeding our main panel from the sub panel in the shop. To my knowledge, the previous owner used his welder as a generator.
We’ve been using an older Honda 6000 watt generator and want to upgrade to something larger. We are on spring water and have two 230v pumps that are required to have water in our house. When the power is out, the water is out. This is our primary concern.
I want to understand if there’s a certain wattage that I should not exceed given the back-feed set up, and with this, what the maximum watt generator is that I can run on our system. The back-feed breaker is 70 amps with a #4 copper wire. The main panel that feeds the sub is 100 amps.
If you have any specific models of generators that you’d recommend it would also be greatly appreciated.
submitted by mooddoom
to AskElectricians [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 22:16 Fearless_Ad_9644 I Replaced my power steering pressure line & pump. After it leaked from fitting on pump. I know the seal is the issue but curious what I did wrong so I can fix it.Did I overtighten it or not enough?i sat on it during assembly but it was too easy to break loose when taking it back apart (see 2nd pic)
2023.05.27 21:15 Thin-Sleep Honda Pilot oil pooling under intake
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I have been chasing an oil leak for months on my 2011 Honda pilot. Two separate mechanics told me it was the oil pan so they fixed it but still leakiy. I Changed valve cover gaskets to see if it would help but it didn't. Discovered all this oily gunk when I was tearing into the top again. What could cause this? The power steering pump does look like it's leaking a bit but I don't think enough to justify the amount of filth in the valley. Appreciate any input. Thanks submitted by Thin-Sleep to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 20:38 microphohn Pressure Washer Specs are mostly lies or misunderstanding. Here’s what you need to know
I recently had occasion to survey what YouTube knows about pressure washers and specs, and was disappointed. I work in fluid power and want to help make this clearer for you. We’ll focus on gas-powered cold water units for this discussion.
It’s useful to remember that pumps don’t make pressure. Pumps generate flow. Because pressure washer pumps are positive displacement, they have nearly constant flow at a given pump speed. If you have a 3.5gpm pressure washer and have no nozzle in the lance, it is flowing 3.5gpm at maybe 40psi just like it will flow 3.5gpm at a couple thousand PSI. The flow is largely constant if pump speed is constant.
As you add restriction to your pump’s outlet flow, the pressure rises. This demands more work from the engine. Thus, the actual operating pressure of your pressure washer is determined by how much restriction you place on the outlet flow. Eventually if you add enough restriction, you will raise pressure high enough that the pump will try to protect itself and open the unloader. (Note, this is a pump protection device, NOT A REGULATOR). Or, if the pump is slightly oversized for the engine, the engine will lug down in RPM before the unloader opens.
The correct way to set the operating pressure of your pressure washer is therefore to vary the restriction on the outlet flow. We do this with changing orifice sizes in your tips. A small orifice like a #3 will have more restriction and higher pressure than a larger orifice like a #6. There are charts available online the correct orifice size to restriction for a given pump flow.
Let’s look at pump and engine matching by analyzing this Northern Tool unit:Northern Tool
This uses a Honda GX390 with a CAT 66dX 3.5gpm pump.
The GX390 has the following power curve: Link
The Honda engine provides about 17lb-ft of torque at 3600rpm. The CAT pump specs are here
We can see that the pump shows 14.8lb-ft of torque is required to overcome 4000psi of pressure at the rated flow of 3.5gpm and 3400 pump RPM.
This means the engine always has more power than load the pump can place on it. This pump cannot pull the engine below it’s rated operating speed.
But with this pump on this engine, you can never get more than 3.5gpm flow.
The same engine could be fitted with a 4gpm pump and use all of the engine’s available power when it was pushed as high as 4000psi. The 4 gpm pump is well matched and gets more useful work from the engine than the 3.5gpm pump does. But it also costs quite a bit more.
CAT even offers a 5gpm pump compatible with the GX390’s drive flange and shaft. This pump specs
show that the GX390 would only be good for just over 3000psi with this pump. The GX390 doesn’t have enough torque to overcome higher pressures at the higher rated flow of the 5gpm pump. But for most real world applications, the 5gpm is likely the better option for maximizing the GX390 performance. But understanding why requires understanding how pressure and flow contribute to cleaning effectiveness.
Ever think about why a 15 degree nozzle has “more power” than a 40 degree nozzle even at the same flow and pressure from the washer? You probably intuited that its because the wider nozzle spreads out the spray. Pressure is force times area. With the same pressure, the more area, the less force. This is why getting closer to the surface makes such a difference— it concentrates the spray to a small area and increases the force.
Just by varying technique, you can make a 2500psi unit destroy a wood deck or vinyl siding just like a 4000psi unit. And if you stand back far enough, you can make a 4000psi unit as ineffective as a tiny electric washer.
The point here is that real world pressure varies a lot in practice and that any pressure higher than what is needed is a waste of power. If it takes 2000psi is do what you need to do, more pressure won’t do it better. MORE FLOW is the way to go.
There are only a tiny handful of applications where extremely high pressures (over 3500psi) are useful: removing barnacles from ships, cleaning sewers, etc. For most residential and commercial cleaning roles— homes, concrete, cars, etc, pressures as low as 2000psi are sufficient and the higher flow allows you to work faster and save some fatigue.
submitted by microphohn
to Tools [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 18:54 whippymcdumbass how do I fix Loose steering at the wheel? 2003 Ford excursion
Story time... A while ago I brought my truck into a Firestone to have tires done; steering wise it was perfect with very minimal slop in the wheel (I fixed that later by replacing the shock on the lower drag link) however after I left the Firestone after they had done my tires my steering wheel was pointed 40° to the left to drive straight and there's a looseness in the steering I fixed the alignment issue that they fucked with ( I just ended up replacing all the the drag links for the steering because they were old and needed to be done anyway) My alignment's perfect I track straight through corners and on flat road going straight... When I hit a bump or catch like a ridge in the lane from roadwork the vehicle follows that ridge without me turning the wheel and then the wheel grabs and yanks me over so like a 12° dead spot in the wheel. But when I jack the front end up and I turned the wheels everything is tight down below My assumption is it's in the power steering pump how do I go about adjusting that power steering pump?
submitted by whippymcdumbass
to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 18:15 joxoc17 Squealing when wheel turned all the way but already changed the power steering pump
2008 Hyundai Tiburón. 4 cyl. Automatic. 150k miles.
There is a high pitched squealing or squeaking when the steering wheel is turned all the way left or right.
The belts have all been changed along with the power steering pump and fluid. It seemed to be getting better after this. But then the AC was turned on and the squealing returned to the louder volume.
What should be looked at next?
submitted by joxoc17
to AskMechanics [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 16:45 N52B30K Why does nobody put hydraulic steering in a car anymore, when there are still viable ways to do it?
The switch to electric power steering is always justified by fuel economy, because it has no parasitic drag on the engine to run the power steering pump. So, why not use an electric motor to drive the pump? Electric power steering will always be inferior in feedback and feel to a good hydraulic rack-and-pinion system, even Porsche EPS which is held up as the gold standard is not as connected as their old hydraulic setups. The reason why is that a motor adds a lot of rotational inertia to the steering system, which dampens the feel.
submitted by N52B30K
to cars [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 16:03 JDM-lyfe 1995 Ford E-150 randomly cuts out acceleration power does and now only cranks when starting
Need a bit of advice to what this may be?! I’ve had the fuel pump filter replaced on this thing about 1 year ago. Was just driving it and within the timespan of 10 seconds, I feel the van behind to loose power, gas pedal no longer works, breaks stiffen up and power steering losing power, had split second decision to pull over on side of road and got it towed to my local shop. Although everywhere I closed for 3 days because of Memorial Day weekend and that’s putting me out of work for 3 days now.
I’m very mechanically handy when I know what the issue is, but it’s just finding out what that issue is. Is this a bad fuel pump? injectors? Filter(s) again?
Again it just decides to crank endlessly as if it’d be flooded if I just held it, if I let it rest for 10 minutes it actually does start up for a few seconds before dying.
submitted by JDM-lyfe
to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 11:22 bvipul Diagnose rattle from power steering pump or alternator [Update]
My car has a rattly sound coming from the engine bay. I removed the auxiliary drive belt and started the car, and the rattle went away. This makes me thinks that the issue is with the alternator or the power steering pump, as these are the components driven by the belt (belt is also connected to the tensioner and crankshaft, but I am guessing these aren't the issue?). Power steering works fine as I can turn the steering wheel easily, and I haven't had any issues starting the car, making me think that the alternator is working fine too.
Is there a way to diagnose whether the alternator or the power steering pump is at fault?
Car: Peugoet 206 Entice, 2003. https://reddit.com/link/13t2sxvideo/3tue66xfvd2b1/player
submitted by bvipul
to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 05:40 One_way3 What can i do to start fresh on my 2007 Impreza 2.5i wagon?
got it in the shop for new head gaskets, water pump, timing belt. getting new spark plugs, battery, and tires eventually. new engine and cabin air filters. alignment, brakes and rotors if needed. I want to get all the fluids flushed (oil, coolant, trans, diff fluid, brake, power steering).
mostly wondering if any of this is overkill or if there’s anything i’m missing. i know the diff fluid might be lifetime but wasn’t sure if i should just go ahead and start fresh.
thanks for any advice!
submitted by One_way3
to subaru [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 04:48 mostreliablebottle If Best Picture was decided by Critics Polls (1940-2021)
Roughly 7 years ago u/TheGreatZiegfeld
did an experiment of a post to determine what the best films of each year would be from 1940 to 2011 (before the 2012 S&S polls).
With the recently updated TSPDT and the 2022 S&S list, I decided to do the same from 1940 to 2021 regarding what critics thought were the best of each year.
Keep in mind this is all from a critics' poll, not from one specific critic's list. Also no short films or miniseries (meaning no Twin Peaks or Meshes of the Afternoon), as well as those from 2022 and beyond because of the last S&S poll.
With all that in mind, let's begin. 1940
Winner: His Girl Friday (Howard Hawks)
Other nominees: The Great Dictator (Charlie Chaplin), The Grapes of Wrath (John Ford), The Shop Around The Corner (Ernst Lubitsch), The Philadelphia Story (George Cukor) 1941
Winner: Citizen Kane (Orson Welles)
Other nominees: The Lady Eve (Preston Sturges), Sullivan's Travels (Preston Sturges), The Maltese Falcon (John Houston), How Green Was My Valley (John Ford) 1942
Winner: Casablanca (Michael Curtiz)
Other nominees: The Magnificent Ambersons (Orson Welles), To Be Or Not To Be (Ernst Lubitsch), The Palm Springs Story (Preston Sturges), Cat People (Jacques Tourneur) 1943
Winner: The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (Powell and Pressburger)
Other nominees: Day of Wrath (Carl Theodor Dreyer), Shadow of a Doubt (Alfred Hitchcock), I Walked with a Zombie (Jacques Tourneur), Ossessione (Luchino Visconti) 1944
Winner: Double Indemnity (Billy Wilder)
Other nominees: Ivan the Terrible, Part I (Sergei Eisenstein), Meet Me in St. Louis (Vincente Minnelli), A Canterbury Tale (Powell and Pressburger), To Have and Have Not (Howard Hawks) 1945
Winner: Children of Paradise (Marcel Carné)
Other nominees: Rome, Open City (Roberto Rossellini), Brief Encounter (David Lean), I Know Where I'm Going (Powell and Pressburger) Les Dames du bois de Boulogne (Robert Bresson) 1946
Winner: It's a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra)
Other nominees: A Matter of Life and Death (Powell and Pressburger), Notorious (Alfred Hitchcock), My Darling Clementine (John Ford), Paisan (Roberto Rossellini) 1947
Winner: Black Narcissus (Powell and Pressburger)
Other nominees: Out of the Past (Jacques Tourneur), Monsieur Verdoux (Charlie Chaplin), The Lady from Shanghai (Orson Welles), The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (Joseph L. Mankiewicz) 1948
Winner: Bicycle Thieves (Vittorio De Sica)
Other nominees: The Red Shoes (Powell and Pressburger), Letters from an Unknown Woman (Max Ophüls), Spring in a Small Town (Mu Fei), Germany Year Zero (Roberto Rossellini) 1949
Winner: The Third Man (Carol Reed)
Other nominees: Late Spring (Yasujirō Ozu), Kind Hearts and Coronets (Robert Hamer), She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (John Ford), White Heat (Raoul Walsh) 1950
Winner Rashomon (Akira Kurosawa)
Other nominees; Sunset Boulevard (Billy Wilder), All About Eve (Joseph L. Mankiewicz), Los Olvidados (Luis Buñuel), In a Lonely Place (Nicholas Ray) 1951
Winner: The River (Jean Renoir)
Other nominees: Diary of a Country Priest (Robert Bresson), Miracle in Milan (Vittorio De Sica), Early Summer (Yasujirō Ozu), Strangers on a Train (Alfred Hitchcock) 1952
Winner: Singin' in the Rain (Stanley Donen, Gene Kelly)
Other nominees: Ikiru (Akira Kurosawa), Umberto D. (Vittorio De Sica), The Life of Oharu (Kenji Mizoguchi), The Quiet Man (John Ford) 1953
Winner: Tokyo Story (Yasujirō Ozu)
Other nominees: Ugetsu (Kenji Mizoguchi), The Earrings of Madame de (Max Ophüls), The Band Wagon (Vincente Minnelli), Monsieur Hulot's Holiday (Jacques Tati) 1954
Winner: Seven Samurai (Akira Kurosawa)
Other nominees: Rear Window (Alfred Hitchcock), Journey to Italy (Roberto Rossellini), La Strada (Federico Fellini), Sansho the Bailiff (Kenji Mizoguchi) 1955
Winner: Ordet (Carl Theodor Dreyer)
Other nominees: The Night of the Hunter (Charles Laughton), Pather Panchali (Satyajit Ray), All That Heaven Allows (Douglas Kirk), Floating Clouds (Mikio Naruse) 1956
Winner: The Searchers (John Ford)
Other nominees: A Man Escaped (Robert Bresson), Written on the Wind (Douglas Sirk), Aparajito (Satyajit Ray), Bigger Than Life (Nicholas Ray) 1957
Winner: Wild Strawberries (Ingmar Bergman)
Other nominees: The Seventh Seal (Ingmar Bergman), Nights of Cabiria (Federico Fellini), Throne of Blood (Akira Kurosawa), Sweet Smell of Success (Alexander Mackendrick) 1958
Winner Vertigo (Alfred Hitchcock)
Other nominees: Touch of Evil (Orson Welles), Ashes and Diamonds (Andrzej Wajda), Ivan the Terrible, Part II (Sergei Eisenstein), The Music Room (Satyajit Ray) 1959
Winner: The 400 Blows (François Truffaut)
Other nominees: Some Like It Hot (Billy Wilder), North by Northwest (Alfred Hitchcock), Rio Bravo (Howard Hawks), Pickpocket (Robert Bresson) 1960
Winner: Breathless (Jean-Luc Godard)
Other nominees: Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock), La Dolce Vita (Federico Fellini), L'Avventura (Michelangelo Antonioni), The Apartment (Billy Wilder) 1961
Winner: Viridiana (Luis Buñuel)
Other nominees: Last Year at Marienbad (Alain Resnais), La Notte (Michelangelo Antonioni), West Side Story (Robert Wise, Jerome Robbins), Yojimbo (Akira Kurosawa) 1962
Winner: Lawrence of Arabia (David Lean)
Other nominees: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (John Ford), Jules and Jim (François Truffaut), Cléo from 5 to 7 (Agnes Varda), L'Eclisse (Michelangelo Antonioni) 1963
Winner 8 1/2 (Federico Fellini)
Other nominees: Le Mepris (Jean-Luc Godard), The Leopard (Luchino Visconti), The Birds (Alfred Hitchcock), The Executioner (Luis García Berlanga) 1964
Winner: Dr. Strangelove (Stanley Kubrick)
Other nominees: Gertrud (Carl Theodor Dreyer), The Gospel According to St. Matthew (Pier Paolo Pasolini), The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (Jacques Demy), Black God, White Devil (Glauber Rocha) 1965
Winner: Pierrot Le Fou (Jean-Luc Godard)
Other nominees: Chimes at Midnight (Orson Welles), Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (Sergei Parajanov), Le Bonheur (Agnes Varda), Doctor Zhivago (David Lean) 1966
Winner: Persona (Ingmar Bergman)
Other nominees: Andrei Rublev (Andrei Tarkovsky), Au Hasard Balthazar (Robert Bresson), The Battle of Algiers (Gillo Pontecorvo), Blow-Up (Michelangelo Antonioni) 1967
Winner: Playtime (Jacques Tati)
Other nominees: Mouchette (Robert Bresson), Le Samouraï (Jean-Pierre Melville), Belle de Jour (Luis Buñuel), The Graduate (Mike Nichols) 1968
Winner: 2001: A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick)
Other nominees: Once Upon a Time in the West (Sergio Leone), Rosemary's Baby (Roman Polanski), Memories of Underdevelopment (Tomás Gutiérrez Alea), Faces (John Cassavetes) 1969
Winner: The Wild Bunch (Sam Peckinpah)
Other nominees: The Color of Pomegranates (Sergei Parajanov), Kes (Ken Loach), My Night at Maud's (Eric Rohmer), Army of Shadows (Jean-Pierre Melville) 1970
Winner: The Conformist (Bernado Bertolucci)
Other nominees: Wanda (Barbara Loden), Performance (Nicholas Roeg), Husbands (John Cassavetes), Tristana (Luis Buñuel) 1971
Winner: A Clockwork Orange (Stanley Kubrick)
Other nominees: Death in Venice (Luchino Visconti), McCabe & Mrs. Miller (Robert Altman), A Touch of Zen (King Hu), Out 1 (Jacques Rivette) 1972
Winner: The Godfather (Francis Ford Coppola)
Other nominees: Aguirre, the Wrath of God (Werner Herzog), Cries and Whispers (Ingmar Bergman), The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (Luis Buñuel), Solaris (Andrei Tarkovsky) 1973
Winner: Amarcord (Federico Fellini)
Other nominees: The Mother and the Whore (Jean Eustache), The Spirit of the Beehive (Victor Erice), Don't Look Now (Nicholas Roeg), Badlands (Terrence Malick) 1974
Winner: The Godfather: Part II (Francis Ford Coppola)
Other nominees: Chinatown (Roman Polanski), A Woman Under the Influence (John Cassavetes), Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (Rainer Werner Fassbinder), Celine and Julie Go Boating (Jacques Rivette) 1975
Winner: Jeanne Dielman (Chantal Akerman)
Other nominees: Mirror (Andrei Tarkovsky), Barry Lyndon (Stanley Kubrick), Nashville (Robert Altman), Jaws (Steven Spielberg) 1976
Winner: Taxi Driver (Martin Scorsese)
Other nominees: News from Home (Chantal Akerman), Kings of the Road (Wim Wenders), In the Realm of Senses (Nagisa Oshima), The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (John Cassavetes) 1977
Winner: Annie Hall (Woody Allen)
Other nominees: Star Wars (George Lucas), Close Encounter of the Third Kind (Steven Spielberg), Eraserhead (David Lynch), The Ascent (Larisa Shepitko) 1978
Winner: Killer of Sheep (Charles Burnett)
Other nominees: Days of Heaven (Terrence Malick), The Deer Hunter (Michael Cimino), The Tree of Wooden Clogs (Ermanno Olmi), In a Year with 13 Moons (Rainer Werner Fassbinder) 1979
Winner: Apocalypse Now (Francis Ford Coppola)
Other nominees: Stalker (Andrei Tarkovsky), Alien (Ridley Scott), Manhattan (Woody Allen), All That Jazz (Bob Fosse) 1980
Winner: Raging Bull (Martin Scorsese)
Other nominees: The Shining (Stanley Kubrick), The Empire Strike Back (Irvin Kershner), Heaven's Gate (Michael Cimino), The Elephant Man (David Lynch) 1981
Winner: Raiders of the Lost Ark (Steven Spielberg)
Other nominees: Possession (Andrzej Żuławski), Blow Out (Brian de Palma), Mad Max 2 (George Miller), An American Werewolf in London (John Landis) 1982
Winner: Blade Runner (Ridley Scott)
Other nominees: Fanny and Alexander (Ingmar Bergman), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Steven Spielberg), The Thing (John Carpenter), The King of Comedy (Martin Scorsese) 1983
Winner: Sans Soleil (Chris Marker)
Other nominees: L'Argent (Robert Bresson), Videodrome (David Cronenberg), Nostalgia (Andrei Tarkovsky), A Nos Amours (Maurice Pialat) 1984
Winner: Once Upon a Time in America (Sergio Leone)
Other nominees: Paris, Texas (Wim Wenders), Love Streams (John Cassavetes), Amadeus (Milos Forman), Stranger Than Paradise (Jim Jarmusch) 1985
Winner: Shoah (Claude Lanzmann)
Other nominees: Come and See (Elem Klimov), Ran (Akira Kurosawa), Vagabond (Agnes Varda), Brazil (Terry Gilliam) 1986
Winner: Blue Velvet (David Lynch)
Other nominees: The Green Ray (Eric Rohmer), The Sacrifice (Andrei Tarkovsky), Aliens (James Cameron), Hannah and Her Sisters (Woody Allen) 1987
Winner: Wings of Desire (Wim Wenders)
Other nominees: Where is the Friend's House (Abbas Kiarostami), The Dead (John Huston), Withnail and I (Bruce Robinson), Yeelen (Souleymanne Cisse) 1988
Winner: My Neighbor Totoro (Hayao Miyazaki)
Other nominees: Cinema Paradiso (Giuseppe Tornatore), Distant Voices, Still Lives (Terence Davies), The Thin Blue Line (Errol Morris), Grave of the Fireflies (Isao Takahata) 1989
Winner: Do the Right Thing (Spike Lee)
Other nominees: A City of Sadness (Hou Hsiao-hsien), Crimes and Misdemeanors (Woody Allen), When Harry Met Sally (Rob Reiner), The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (Peter Greenaway) 1990
Winner: Close-Up (Abbas Kiarostami)
Other nominees: Goodfellas (Martin Scorsese), Days of Being Wild (Wong Kar-wai), An Angel at My Table (Jane Campion), Paris is Burning (Jessie Livingston) 1991
Winner: A Brighter Summer Day (Edward Yang)
Other nominees: Daughters of the Dust (Julie Dash), The Double Life of Veronique (Krzysztof Kieslowski), The Silence of the Lambs (Jonathan Demme), Raise the Red Lantern (Zhang Yimou) 1992
Winner: Unforgiven (Clint Eastwood)
Other nominees: The Quince Tree Sun (Victor Erice), Orlando (Sally Potter), Life, and Nothing More (Abbas Kiarostami), Reservoir Dogs (Quentin Tarantino) 1993
Winner: The Piano (Jane Campion)
Other nominees: Schindler's List (Steven Spielberg), Three Colors: Blue (Krzysztof Kieslowski), Groundhog Day (Harold Ramis), The Puppetmaster (Hou Hsiao-hsien) 1994
Winner: Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino)
Other nominees: Satantango (Bela Tarr), Chungking Express (Wong Kar-wai), Three Colors: Red (Krzysztof Kieslowski), Through the Olive Tree (Abbas Kiarostami) 1995
Winner: Heat (Michael Mann)
Other nominees: Underground (Emir Kusturica), Safe (Todd Haynes), Casino (Martin Scorsese), Dead Man (Jim Jarmusch) 1996
Winner: Breaking the Waves (Lars von Trier)
Other nominees: Fargo (Joel Coen), A Moment of Innocence (Mohsen Makhmalbaf), Secrets and Lies (Mike Leigh), Crash (David Cronenberg) 1997
Winner: Taste of Cherry (Abbas Kiarostami)
Other nominees: Happy Together (Wong Kar-wai), Lost Highway (David Lynch), Boogie Nights (Paul Thomas Anderson), Princess Mononoke (Hayao Miyazaki) 1998
Winner: Histoire(s) du Cinema (Jean-Luc Godard)
Other nominees: The Thin Red Line (Terrence Malick), The Big Lebowski (Joel Coen), The Celebration (Thomas Vinterberg), Flowers of Shanghai (Hou Hsiao-hsien) 1999
Winner: Beau Travail (Claire Denis)
Other nominees: Magnolia (Paul Thomas Anderson), The Matrix (Wachowskis), Eyes Wide Shut (Stanley Kubrick), All About My Mother (Pedro Almodovar) 2000
Winner: In The Mood for Love (Wong Kar-wai)
Other nominees: Yi Yi (Edward Yang), The Gleaners and I (Agnes Varda), Werckmeister Harmonies (Bela Tarr), In Vanda's Room (Pedro Costa) 2001
Winner: Mulholland Drive (David Lynch)
Other nominees: Spirited Away (Hayao Miyazaki), La Ciénaga (Lucrecia Martel), A.I: Artificial Intelligence (Steven Spielberg), The Fellowship of the Ring (Peter Jackson) 2002
Winner: City of God (Fernando Meirelles)
Other nominees: Tie Xi Qu: West of the Tracks (Wang Bing), Talk to Her (Pedro Almodovar), Russian Ark (Aleksandr Sukurov), Morvern Callar (Lynne Ramsay) 2003
Winner: Goodbye, Dragon Inn (Tsai Ming-liang)
Other nominees: Dogville (Lars von Trier), Lost in Translation (Sofia Coppola), Elephant (Gus van Sant), Oldboy (Park Chan-wook) 2004
Winner: Tropical Malady (Apichatpong Weerasethakul)
Other nominees: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Michel Gondry), The Intruder (Claire Denis), Before Sunset (Richard Linklater), Sideways (Alexander Payne) 2005
Winner: Caché (Michael Haneke)
Other nominees: The Death of Mr. Lazarescu (Cristi Puiu), Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee), The New World (Terrence Malick), Grizzly Man (Werner Herzog) 2006
Winner: Syndromes and a Century (Apichatpong Weerasethakul)
Other nominees: Inland Empire (David Lynch), Pan's Labyrinth (Guillermo del Toro), The Lives of Others (Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck), Children of Men (Alfonso Cuaron) 2007
Winner: There Will Be Blood (Paul Thomas Anderson)
Other nominees: No Country for Old Men (Coens), Zodiac (David Fincher), Silent Light (Carlos Reygadas), 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days (Cristian Mungiu) 2008
Winner: The Headless Woman (Lucrecia Martel)
Other nominees: WALL-E (Andrew Stanton), Synecdoche, New York (Charlie Kaufman), The Dark Knight (Christopher Nolan), Hunger (Steve McQueen) 2009
Winner: The White Ribbon (Michael Haneke)
Other nominees: A Prophet (Jacques Audiard), Fish Tank (Andrea Arnold), Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino), Avatar (James Cameron) 2010
Winner: Uncle Boonmee (Apichatpong Weerasethakul)
Other nominees: Nostalgia for the Light (Patricio Guzman), The Social Network (David Fincher), Mysteries of Lisbon (Raul Ruiz), Meek's Cutoff (Kelly Reichardt) 2011
Winner: The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick)
Other nominees: A Separation (Asghar Farhadi), Melancholia (Lars von Trier), The Turin Horse (Bela Tarr), Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (Nuri Bilge Ceylan) 2012
Winner: Holy Motors (Leos Carax)
Other nominees: The Act of Killing (Joshua Oppenheimer), The Master (Paul Thomas Anderson), Amour (Michael Haneke), Tabu (Miguel Gomes) 2013
Winner: Under the Skin (Jonathan Glazer)
Other nominees: The Great Beauty (Paolo Sorrentino), Blue is the Warmest Color (Abdellatif Kechiche), Ida (Pawel Pawlikowski), 12 Years a Slave (Steve McQueen) 2014
Winner: Boyhood (Richard Linklater)
Other nominees: Goodbye to Language (Jean-Luc Godard), The Grand Budapest Hotel (Wes Anderson), Girlhood (Celine Sciamma), Interstellar (Christopher Nolan) 2015
Winner: Mad Max; Fury Road (George Miller)
Other nominees: Carol (Todd Haynes), Cemetery of Splendor (Apichatpong Weerasethakul), The Assassin (Hou Hsiao-hsien), No Home Movie (Chantal Akerman) 2016
Winner: Moonlight (Barry Jenkins)
Other nominees: Toni Erdmann (Maren Ade), American Honey (Andrea Arnold), Arrival (Denis Villeneuve), Certain Women (Kelly Reichardt) 2017
Winner: Get Out (Jordan Peele)
Other nominees: Zama (Lucrecia Martel), Phantom Thread (Paul Thomas Anderson), You Were Never Really Here (Lynne Ramsay), Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig) 2018
Winner: Roma (Alfonso Cuaron)
Other nominees: Happy as Lazzaro (Alice Rohrwacher), Burning (Lee Chang-dong), An Elephant Sitting Still (Hu Bo), Shoplifters (Hirokazu Kore-eda) 2019
Winner: Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Celine Sciamma)
Other nominees: Parasite (Bong Joon-ho), Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino), Atlantics (Mati Diop), First Cow (Kelly Reichardt) 2020
Winner: Nomadland (Chloe Zhao)
Other nominees: Time (Garrett Bradley), Never Rarely Sometimes Always (Eliza Hitman), Days (Tsai Ming-liang), Quo Vadis, Aida? (Jasmila Zbanic) 2021
Winner: Petite Maman (Celine Sciamma)
Other nominees: The Power of the Dog (Jane Campion), Drive My Car (Ryusuke Hamaguchi), Titane (Julia Docournau), Memoria (Apichatpong Weerasethakul)
submitted by mostreliablebottle
to movies [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 02:17 lightsaber_lobotomy Whats the approximate rate to replace a power steering pump on an 09 Civic?
2009 Honda Civic 1.8L Automatic
What's the average rate/hours to install a power steering pump on my 09 civic sedan? And will I need to replace my coolant in the radiator as well, or just the power steering fluid? Thanks in advance
submitted by lightsaber_lobotomy
to AskMechanics [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 01:33 Slippery_Gypsi VZ whiring noise even with serp and AC belts off. Any ideas
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Hi Guys, I’m back again. Last time I got a bunch off great suggestions to try and diagnose this whirring sound I am getting. Last time the majority of comments suggest an accessory which is likely belt driven (I.e power steering pump). I’ve taken both belts off and still have the whir. Any more ideas? submitted by Slippery_Gypsi to Holden [link] [comments]
It’s hard to pinpoint the sound but I think its still coming from around the front of the engine around the throttle body. Checked for hose splits and leaks and still can’t find anything.
2023.05.26 23:39 KewlKevin 2017 HRV - VSA unit?
Trying to get an opinion from fellow HRV owners.
So one evening all of the warning lights on the dash came on while idling. It didn't handle great because one of the lights was the electric power steering but other than that it ran fine.
The next morning I started it and all the lights were still on but it otherwise seemed normal. I took it to Honda and they ran tests and the battery failed. They replaced the battery and all the lights went out. Luckily the battery didn't cost me anything since it was replaced a year ago.
Took the hrv home and then after about 100 miles of driving all the lights came back on. Another trip to Honda and now they are saying it's the VSA modulator. They tested the alternator and it came back fine. But now they want $2500 to have the VSA replaced.
My concern is aside from the huge cost is will it start nickel and diming me afterwards. Does anyone have any experience with this being replaced? I just don't want to spend the money then the lights come on again and cost me more money. Additionally the option of either doing a payment plan or trade in was concerning too.
They probably just said trade in to get more money but given the HRV is 6 years old and has 180,000 miles on it has me thinking.
submitted by KewlKevin
to HRV [link] [comments]
2023.05.26 23:31 zooglezaggle Place to get power steering pulley and shaft?
Made a post a few days ago looking for how to get the pulley off a power steering pump, after consulting the dealer manuals I realized that the forum post I was following was clearly wrong and that is not a thing that actually comes off without disassembling the entire pump.
Pump is disassembled and I found the serial numbers I was looking for but am so far unable to find just the shaft and pulley for the pump anywhere to rebuild. Called the local Hyundai dealership and they were quoting me 650+ for a whole pump. I am seeing them at some local part stores ~~around 400 but feel like it is a waste of money and time to install a new pump when the only issue is a warped pulley.
If anyone has any reccs on where to find please let me know, I am scrolling through all the resources in the master resource list but am not finding anything.
submitted by zooglezaggle
to genesiscoupe [link] [comments]