hi bromos, stuck and in need of advice.
i (31 f) met my partner (31 m) while working overseas thousands of kilometers away from home. He was born and raised here. we got married 2 years after in 2020 after a bit of a rollercoaster (in which I should have known not to end up with him I guess).
before getting married, I asked him to get an STI test as I was never sexually active, and he was (raw at times). he got super offended and ignored my request. I didn't think much of it. we got married and I lost my virginity to him. I felt excruciating pain having sex with him. I finally went to the gyno and did tests and low and behold I found out I had an STI. it was so upsetting. and he ruined my first sexual experience. I confronted him about this and he said "great, now you're gonna hold this against me for the rest of my life". no accountability, no remorse, no compassion for what I just had to go thru because his ego was to large to just do the damn test.
the medication/antibiotics I was given apparently helps with fertility as well and I was pregnant within 3 months of us getting married. I was mortified. and scared. and anxious. I told my husband and he was so supportive in the moment. later on the same day, he yelled at me for his car tire popping and was in a mood the whole night we were out.
my pregnancy was a disaster in terms of support from him. not understanding how to be patient with me. making me feel shit. he kept blaming work for being the culprit. didn't help me plan anything or buy anything for our son.
I gave birth via c-section during covid times and the country I'm in did not let anyone in the operating room except the mother and doctors. it was tough. while in the hospital recovering, my husband would sleep thru the night and have me wake up struggling to grab our baby if the nurses didn't answer in time. he'd wake up for a work call though. in the next month's I struggled waking him up at night to help me with our baby. I even ripped a stitch out because work was just being sooooo hard on him, poor guy /s.
whenever I speak to him about any sort of concerns or issues I have, he dismisses them and gaslights me for making a big deal out of nothing. he's emotionally abusive. and when I do finally break thru to him, he's so understanding and amazing for a total of maybe 1 week if I'm lucky. he tries to rebel against me as if I'm his mother. I'm sure he has me in the mother role since he is always thinking I'm "controlling him" by asking him how long he'll be out or where he's going.
parenting with him has only made me realize this is not the man I want. I had horrible postpartum anxiety and some depression and I had to pull thru because this man was sooo tweaked and removed from life. as though not really living. I kept begging him and asking him to go to therapy and if he doesn't go for himself let us go to couples therapy. he refused.
in August 2022 I gave an ultimatum. he finally saw a therapist. one that further advanced his ideas that I might be controlling. I was at my wits end. we finally saw a couples therapist. did about 3 sessions with him until I couldn't take it anymore. he's 2 different people. one in front of others, and one with me. everyone else gets his kind charming side, I get whatever's left over.
he does petty things and I know they're being done in petty ways - he gaslights and acts like he would NEVER do something like that.
apart from all of this, his mother is a witch to me. she has tried in many ways to ruin our relationship, and before we got married she pushed him into investing in a property in their home country to have a "family home" which caused a ton of money issues for us going into the marriage (a background to this story is his dad cheated on his mom and married his mistress when my s/o was 20 or so). his dad's mom was also horrible to her, so she's obviously paying it forward (lucky me). she came to stay with us for 2 weeks when I was 1 month postpartum and in that time she barged into my room unannounced, invited people over without consulting with me, and talked shit to my husband that I wasn't serving her guests while I was healing from my c-section.
I've asked him multiple times to have some boundaries with his mom, he hasn't listened. until his mom decided to come visit in Jan 2023 and all hell broke loose. she's now trying very subtle ways to ruin our relationship (what relationship you might ask lol).
I have so much resentment, this guy has left me high and dry so many times! he has resentment too but his shows way more than mine which has me thinking that I've never done anything remotely as bad to him as he has to me. I just don't want to be in this relationship anymore.
within the last 2 weeks (after I finally told him I'm leaving him for good) he started properly seeing a therapist. he's been trying to get me to go to the couple's therapist with him. he's cried and kissed my feet and said he's really gonna change this time. he's made a schedule to change his life and habits. but something is telling me it'll all just be temporary.
I just don't have it in me to care anymore. and I don't know if I should?

hi! i turn 18 in a little under a month, and i've been seriously considering a reduction since i was 14. i wear a 38G bra at the moment, but i am almost 100% sure that my actual size is different. i'm hoping i can find some people who have experience with some of my concerns, just because i'm kind of nervous about them and i don't know who to ask. i'm from the usa, by the way!
bigger breasts run in my family, and my mother had a reduction in her late 30s or early 40s (iirc, i was <5 at the time). she says they grew back. that freaks me out. is that common? if they do grow back, do they always return to the pre-op size?
for almost all of 2020 and most of 2021 i attended physical therapy for back problems. i have some genetic issues that the doctors cited as the reason for the pain i experienced, but my mom is convinced that my breasts were also a factor.** would i be able to use this as proof for my insurance? also, how does the insurance thing work? **i've had x-rays done on my spine and they show that i have a partial lumbarization of the s1 bone - would someone be able to see this in my medical history and go "grr, you lied to us, your back pain isn't related to your absolutely ginormous bazonkers" and then, like, consider it cosmetic and force me to pay for it?
i've had the wrong band size for ages, but none of the stores in my area carry sizes with enough variety for me to see what would work best. because of this, i've been dealing with considerable pain around my ribs for years, and i feel like surgery would exacerbate that. has anyone experienced this??
i'm a competitive swimmer, and from what i've read on this sub, it takes a while for people to be comfortable moving around. if i wanted to return to high intensity training, how long would i have to wait? would a surgeon know the answer to that? i know that involves a lot of movement, so i wanted to check before committing.
my parents would definitely support me if i chose to get a reduction; in fact, my mom has been pushing me to get one for a few years. i know they would help me if i needed it, but i'm going to university in the fall, and i feel like that would be a bad time to get a surgery (like, at any time over the next four years). is it rough if you're living on your own? is it absolutely necessary to have outside assistance?
i've found that i have a lot of tension in my shoulders and upper back. is this somehow related to my boobs? did any of you feel generally more relaxed after getting a reduction?
i think i have a really low pain tolerance, and i've never had a surgery before. reading about everyone's experiences has me actually terrified. is recovery incredibly painful? how strong does the medication need to be? does it dull the pain or completely erase it?
i'm sorry for all of the questions, especially if they're common. i'm just a little bit stressed about this, even though i've discussed it a little bit with my mom and a gp. i hope everyone reading this knows that i admire them so much if they have had a reduction, because it sounds like the scariest thing on earth. pound of flesh and all of that. ty for reading 🫶

Hi guys, I’m writing here because I can either get a psych appointment several months from now, or pay a ton of money for a private appointment. I’d rather get a direction before I make any expensive decisions. Personal info:
26F, 130 lbs, 5”5, diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and OCD, started taking 75 mg sertraline (Lustral) in late November and the effects have been life-changing.
So, when I started medications, at first I was prescribed 200 mg, but I stopped at 100 mg because it caused intense jitteriness and I could not sleep for days on end—it was like being on meth. We settled on 75 mg, and my condition has improved greatly. I’m functioning, I’m happy, I don’t suffer from obsessive thoughts, and in general I’m doing better than ever. However, though the jitteriness is not as bad as it was with 100 mg, it is still distressing. I can’t stop moving for a single moment, even when I’m extremely exhausted, and this is anxiety-inducing and makes it harder to fall asleep or study. I don’t want to change my meds because I am so happy to finally be happy. The jitteriness is absolutely worth it. But if anything can be done to decrease it, that would be wonderful. I would like to rest.
TIA

TLDR and my log is at the end.
Hi all just wanted to share my breakthrough regimen that has resulted in excellent improvements in sexual function as well as some improvement in the anhedonia category. The anhedonia i believe is not caused by PSSD or it had very little to do with it. Regardless, it does seem to have improved mostly the feeling of being able to connect with females. I was targeting sexual function improvements. I took a combination of E2 injections, E2 gel and hops supplement. Everything else had been stable for a minimum of 6 months. Attached a document below that i recorded my trial on. It's now been a month+ since i last used E2 and very rarely do i take hops anymore. Improvements have stuck and seem to be getting better. Big improvements in erection quality, sensitivity and less so in libido.
​
I'll try to quantify the improvements but its difficult. As always things will fluctuate based on other factors like sleep, attractiveness of girl, mood that day, stress etc. The "Before" will be my baseline which was a combination of various supplements and medications. The heavy hitters are TRT (~125mg/week split into 2 doses Monday and Thursday), bromantane, NA Semax, selegiline in no particular order. Viagra is often used before sex as well. After my E2 trial i no longer need viagra all the time. Normally I am having sex almost daily which can be a bit taxing on the body i think. The sensitivity improvements are problematic on occasion. It becomes difficult to continue to have sex and i have to use tricks and techniques to not cum too quickly. I dont wish to try E2 again for the time being as the increased sensitivity causes issues.
The lower the score the worse it is. 1/10 sensitivity would be near total genital numbness and no pleasure.10/10 would be pre-PSSD levels for me that align with the best I've felt in my life in that area. It's not the most scientific approach if anyone has a proper form to fill out for recovery I could give it a go.
Before
Erection quality (being able to get an erection and maintain it during sex) 5/10
Libido - 3/10
Sensitivity - 5/10
Anhedonia - 7/10
Refractory Period - 1 day (assuming having sex daily)
After
Erection quality (being able to get an erection and maintain it during sex) 8/10
Libido - 5/10
Sensitivity - 8/10
Anhedonia - 8/10
Refractory Period - Varies, limited data. 1-2 hours has been possible on several occasions so far. Definite improvement
​
​
A big thanks to u/Sweaty_Literature_69 (Spyros) for sharing his theory
TLDR: Took E2 injections/gel and hops and got big improvements in sexual function across the board that have stuck for a month+
​

---------Log Below-------

-------------------------------

1. mike1 — 03/20/2023 1:31 PM

Just applied 1.25g (0.75mg of 17 β estradiol) gel to test the waters about 40 minutes ago. will see if there's any effects i wont be doing a proper trial (following sweaty's pdf) because there's too many restrictions. will try with the gel for now and then move to injections later perhaps Some background: Ive been on trt for 2-3 years already. I've had PSSD for ~3 years from prozac (fluoxetine). Ive tried many things to see what will work for me. I would say I experienced a 30-40% improvement from baseline with my current regimen. The best window I ever had was my initial dose of proviron which prompted me to give this theory a shot. This lasted 2 days or so. I felt like a God every aspect was improved. It wasn't a manic phase though. Current regimen (the heavy hitters): TRT ~125mg/week No HCG NA Semax 300-600mcg/day Bromantane varying dosages Selegiline 1.25mg/day sublingual Various other supplements that I dont think matter all that much. Sexmas, Bromantane, Selegiline were all added individually after 1-2month minimum baseline was established. (edited)
2.
Akas — 03/20/2023 2:52 PM
May i ask why you didn’t pair Test with HCG from the beginning to prevent ball shrinkage?

1. [2:53 PM]

And may i also ask which Ssri you took, how long you took it for and how hold you are?
4.
mike1 — 03/20/2023 3:21 PM
May i ask why you didn’t pair Test with HCG from the beginning to prevent ball shrinkage? - I have 0 sperm count now which is very useful for unprotected sex. I have used hcg in the past. And may i also ask which Ssri you took, how long you took it for and how hold you are? - Fluoxetine for ~12 years, 30 years old
5.
Akas — 03/20/2023 3:33 PM
So you are dealing with sexual symptoms right now? But you have recovered some of your sexuality/libido? (edited)
6.
mike1 — 03/20/2023 3:41 PM
yea mostly just sexual symptoms and some aspects of anhedonia but im not a severe case. i can have sex daily if i use viagra. i dont have much libido the brain to dick connection isnt there much and genital numbness

1. u/mike1

yea mostly just sexual symptoms and some aspects of anhedonia but im not a severe case. i can have sex daily if i use viagra. i dont have much libido the brain to dick connection isnt there much and genital numbness
14.
mike1 — 03/20/2023 6:31 PM
Update 1: Roughly 5 hours since gel application. Had a little surge in genital/skin sensitivity around the 1 hour mark. Feel like i am beginning to retain water and blood pressure going up a bit. Nothing uncomfortable but its noticeable. Better sense of well being around the 2-3 hour mark which has faded. No other side effects or improvements to note. (edited)

1. [7:23 PM]

What are your current doses ?

1. u/mike1

Update 1: Roughly 5 hours since gel application. Had a little surge in genital/skin sensitivity around the 1 hour mark. Feel like i am beginning to retain water and blood pressure going up a bit. Nothing uncomfortable but its noticeable. Better sense of well being around the 2-3 hour mark which has faded. No other side effects or improvements to note. (edited)
Survivor — 03/20/2023 7:43 PM
Blackcreative also had the same reaction after 5 hours

1. u/Zyzz Brah

What are your current doses ?
mike1 — 03/20/2023 9:59 PM
dosage is posted. first line in the first post
20.
Survivor — 03/20/2023 10:01 PM
u/mike1 are you gonna use this amount of gel daily for your current protocol?
21.
mike1 — 03/20/2023 10:05 PM
The bioavailability of oestradiol from the gel was 61% - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10465378/
PubMed
Absorption and bioavailability of oestradiol from a gel, a patch an...
The doses used of the transdermal gel and the patch roughly corresponded to each other with regard to the amount of oestradiol absorbed whereas the bioavailability from the tablet was significantly higher than from the gel. The lack of bioequivalence, the different serum oestradiol profiles and the …
📷

1. u/Survivor

u/mike1 are you gonna use this amount of gel daily for your current protocol?
mike1 — 03/20/2023 10:07 PM
i think ill increase it tomorrow to 1.6mg of 17 β estradiol. that should mean roughly 1mg is absorbed (edited)

1. [10:07 PM]

double today's dosage
24.
Survivor — 03/20/2023 10:07 PM
What is the bioavailability of gels usually?

1. mike1

The bioavailability of oestradiol from the gel was 61% - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10465378/
mike1 — 03/20/2023 10:08 PM
i dont know. i just posted the bioavailability of E2 gel

1. [10:08 PM]

depends on what body part you put it on too

1. [10:08 PM]

i did inner thigh

1. u/mike1

depends on what body part you put it on too
Survivor — 03/20/2023 10:08 PM
Where is it the highest?
29.
mike1 — 03/20/2023 10:09 PM
i read inner thigh, inner upper arms is good

1. [10:11 PM]

Update 2: Around 9 hours since application. No changes, no improvements/side effects. Had sex with viagra as normal. Seemed to have better sensitivity, bit more libido than yesterday. No crazy improvements though. My sexual function fluctuates ive had days like this before. If i could have this level of function consistently though that'd be a marked improvement.
March 21, 2023
31.
mike1 — 03/21/2023 8:26 PM
Update 3: Applied roughly 1.6mg of 17 β estradiol gel 5 hours ago so roughly 1mg is absorbed. No changes to report. No improvements, no side effects. Will try to get injections soon see if that helps. May add in hops too.
March 27, 2023
34.
Update 4: Applied roughly 1mg of 17 β estradiol gel 4 hours ago an d 1240mg hops. No changes to report. No improvements, no side effects. seems improvements have stopped. what little improvements there were anyways will keep going. but this doesnt seem to be the magic bullet i had my best ever window years ago on proviron. must be some hormone combo that will fix it mike1 — 25/03/2023 19:25 Update 5: Applied roughly 1mg of 17 β estradiol gel yesterday and took 1240mg hops again. No changes to report. No improvements, no side effects.
36.
mike1 — 03/27/2023 5:03 PM
thanks. just got oestradiol benzoate today for injection. injected 1mg 5 mins ago will report back later

1. [5:04 PM]

i am not on hcg btw. if you want to edit the title

1. [5:04 PM]

on TRT, e2 gel, now e2 injections

1. u/mike1

The bioavailability of oestradiol from the gel was 61% - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10465378/
Matiyar — 03/27/2023 5:08 PM
61% as compared to a pill ,-,

1. [5:10 PM]

Biovailability of oral estradiol ranges from less than 1% to around 15%, so according to this research you can expect ~9% absorption at best
43.
mike1 — 03/27/2023 5:14 PM
really? that seems incredibly low, almost useless

1. [5:15 PM]

his cream is 85% he says
46.
Matiyar — 03/27/2023 5:20 PM
I don't know from where he pulled that number

1. u/Matiyar

I don't know from where he pulled that number
mike1 — 03/27/2023 5:21 PM
i would guess the manufacturer? ill ask him
48.
Survivor — 03/27/2023 10:07 PM
u/mike1 When did you stopped e2 gel?
49.
Ratatouileee — 03/27/2023 11:50 PM
u/mike1 any different feeling?
March 28, 2023

1. u/Survivor

u/mike1 When did you stopped e2 gel?
mike1 — 03/28/2023 12:17 AM
yesterday

1. u/Ratatouileee

u/mike1 any different feeling?
mike1 — 03/28/2023 12:19 AM
Update 6: Injected 1mg of estradiol benzoate. Today was also my day for TRT injection. 1 hour in feel more sensitivty, hard flaccid type dick (this a positive). dick feels more full. It persisted for a few hours then declined. Had great sex, increased sensitivity, more libido. Maybe a 15% improvement so far over baseline so far. I feel the most effects shortly after injection and shortly after applying the gel. (edited)
Survivor — 03/28/2023 12:22 AM
Awesome man
53.
Dixon Uranus — 03/28/2023 1:07 AM
Great news, bro!

1. [1:07 AM]

Do you have cognitive or emotional symptoms at all?

1. [1:08 AM]

If yes, any changes on these fronts as well?
56.
mike1 — 03/28/2023 10:37 AM
I might have some degree of anhedonia. I believe ive had it since a young age before ssri though. I cant feel love/connections but again a problem since i was young. Still can feel a range of emotions but im mostly in the middle not many ups and downs. Cognitive im fine. No changes there. Bromanatane and semax helped my cognitive aspects already. Still on those.
57.
Survivor — 03/28/2023 12:44 PM
u/mike1 Are you gonna continue estradiol benzoate im?
58.
mike1 — 03/28/2023 2:14 PM
yea my plan is to do a week
59.
Ratatouileee — 03/28/2023 3:38 PM
u/mike1 have you had windows before you started the estrogen or is this the first time you got your libido and sensitivity back?

1. u/Ratatouileee

u/mike1 have you had windows before you started the estrogen or is this the first time you got your libido and sensitivity back?
mike1 — 03/28/2023 3:43 PM
from my OP: "The best window I ever had was my initial dose of proviron which prompted me to give this theory a shot. This lasted 2 days or so. I felt like a God every aspect was improved. It wasn't a manic phase though."
61.
138791 — 03/28/2023 3:51 PM
I felt the same from mini recoveries
62.
Survivor — 03/28/2023 8:26 PM
u/mike1 Any update today?

1. u/mike1

Update 6: Injected 1mg of estradiol benzoate. Today was also my day for TRT injection. 1 hour in feel more sensitivty, hard flaccid type dick (this a positive). dick feels more full. It persisted for a few hours then declined. Had great sex, increased sensitivity, more libido. Maybe a 15% improvement so far over baseline so far. I feel the most effects shortly after injection and shortly after applying the gel. (edited)
LastRiver — 03/28/2023 9:08 PM
Sorry man I'm confused by your wording. Are you saying hard flaccid is a positive? I don't think I'm understanding right lol

1. u/LastRiver

Sorry man I'm confused by your wording. Are you saying hard flaccid is a positive? I don't think I'm understanding right lol
mike1 — 03/28/2023 11:14 PM
yea it is in this context. imagine a hard flaccid as your baseline during the day vs a shrunken dick. when i had sex i was able to have a strong erection with a small dose of viagra

1. u/Survivor

u/mike1 Any update today?
mike1 — 03/28/2023 11:14 PM
i was busy today and forgot to inject. didnt realize until it was late evening time

1. u/mike1

yea it is in this context. imagine a hard flaccid as your baseline during the day vs a shrunken dick. when i had sex i was able to have a strong erection with a small dose of viagra
LastRiver — 03/28/2023 11:24 PM
Hard flaccid is a shrunken dick

1. u/mike1

i was busy today and forgot to inject. didnt realize until it was late evening time
Survivor — 03/28/2023 11:31 PM
Your e2 levels must be peaking tomorrow after 48 hours

1. u/LastRiver

Hard flaccid is a shrunken dick
mike1 — 03/28/2023 11:35 PM
Opposite of that. Its semi hard, hands wells, but not an erection
March 29, 2023
70.
mike1 — 03/29/2023 6:45 PM
i injected around an hour ago. will report later
71.

1. u/mike1

Update 6: Injected 1mg of estradiol benzoate. Today was also my day for TRT injection. 1 hour in feel more sensitivty, hard flaccid type dick (this a positive). dick feels more full. It persisted for a few hours then declined. Had great sex, increased sensitivity, more libido. Maybe a 15% improvement so far over baseline so far. I feel the most effects shortly after injection and shortly after applying the gel. (edited)
mike1 — 03/30/2023 9:05 PM
Update 7: injected 1mg yesterday. Improvements thus far have stuck. No improvements beyond what i reported before. Today no injection. (edited)
April 1, 2023
76.
mike1 — 04/01/2023 11:51 AM
sexual function not as good yesterday. was a bit stressed too
April 2, 2023
79.
mike1 — 04/02/2023 3:57 PM
Update 8: Today is day 4 of no injection. Nothing to report. Maybe a 5% improvement has stuck from my E2 usage prior (edited)
April 3, 2023
82.
mike1 — 04/03/2023 3:41 PM
Update 9: Day 5 of no injection. Performance was good last night. Definitely better than normal. Feeling good today will see how performance is tonight.
83.
Survivor — 04/03/2023 4:08 PM
u/mike1 It’s good you are seeing improvements. I pray to god that this might be the key for all of us .

1. u/mike1

Update 9: Day 5 of no injection. Performance was good last night. Definitely better than normal. Feeling good today will see how performance is tonight.
April 4, 2023

1. u/mike1

Update 9: Day 5 of no injection. Performance was good last night. Definitely better than normal. Feeling good today will see how performance is tonight.
Akas — Yesterday at 7:50 AM
That’s dope. Your libido/sex drive is feeling high?
88.
mike1 — Yesterday at 11:44 AM
not high. just better than normal. i would say erection quality and sensitivity is the most improved. libido still low

1. u/Survivor

You must be a hyper responder getting improvement with such low dose initially
mike1 — Yesterday at 7:36 PM
low dose of what?

1. u/mike1

low dose of what?
Survivor — Yesterday at 7:55 PM
E2
92.
mike1 — Yesterday at 8:09 PM
hmm i dont think its a low dose. maybe compared to what other people are doing. but more e2 than you would get from TRT or a big test injection.
April 5, 2023
93.
mike1 — Today at 2:45 PM
Update 10: Today is day 7 of no E2 injections. I have been taking hops before sleeping on occasion the last few days. Performance is better than normal for sure. Maybe a 15% improvement for erection quality and sensitivity has stuck so far at this point. I will be starting NAC+Sarcosine tomorrow
Final update 28/4/2023 – I have been on NAC+Sarcosine and around 900mg of hops per day. It has been 4 weeks since I began E2 or hops. Sensitivity improvements have stayed. Better erections, slightly more libido. Libido is still low otherwise I am very happy with my improvements.

We're having our first baby and I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant. We're also both turning 30 this summer.
He's always been an anxious person but it's only gotten worse over the past few months. He's had two anxiety attacks during this time. We just recently went to the doctor and he'll be hearing from a behavior health representative next week to possibly schedule some sort of therapy. He's very against medications and has had bad experiences in the past/negative reactions. I'm hoping having a professional to talk to will help. This will be the first time he's seeked help for anxiety and I know I'll have to get on him about following through (stubborn man).
We're both working and I plan on working until I have the baby, not much choice otherwise, lol. He has the GI bill from serving in the navy and plans to go back to school in the fall, but with work currently, the baby and his uncertainties about schooling, he's been very stressed.
I've also brought up to him that he has had a lack of involvement and motivation regarding anything baby related. I've been the one finding everything we need, stocking up on supplies, finding a pediatrician, doing research on caring for baby, reading books on parenting, ect. It's been emotionally difficult for me that he's been distracted/distant. I know it's not because he doesn't care and I've never gotten angry with him but I have brought it up more than once. He knows he needs to be more proactive and that it would help ease his anxiety to make progress. Even if it's one step at a time.
I've been extremely stressed as well but not nearly to the same degree as him. His anxiety is effecting his health as well. In the form of headaches, difficulty breathing and other aches and pains. While at the doctor's they did a series of tests, so we know it's nothing physically wrong with him.
We have some friends who have young kids, who we can go to for help. But our families live in other states or hours away, so it's mostly on us.
Hopefully I've provided enough information for context.
If there's any advice or maybe someone has had similar experiences, I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts.
I love my husband and I want to help ease his anxiety, which in turn will give myself peace of mind.
Sorry for the format, I am on mobile.
Thanks in advance for any input.

I need advice and perspective on an incident I had with a coworker. I work on a neuro step down unit and due to desperation for staffing, an "experienced" LVN has been hired. A few shifts ago she gave me report on a patient who she claimed was basically a vegetable with a trach and peg tube. As I'm gathering my things to go into the room the RT comes out and says that he has decannulated. He was in fact not a vegetable and very much alert. No obturator on the wall, no spare cannula in sight. We stabilized him and I called her out on it and her only response was that I was making it sound like it was all her fault and that she wouldn't be spoken to like a child. Day shift charge said that when she got the patient, the CNA reported that it was at least an hour before she went into his room to do an assessment. He was moved to a room closer to the nurses station and she still did not see him. She also reported continuous feeding. There was no feeding supplies or equipment set up or in the room. When asked she said that the previous nurse from the ICU said that he had already been fed. wtf?!? A variance report was written. I wrote up an incident report and sent it to my clinical director who sucks. She allows bad employees to stay for way too long and has no backbone. She ended up getting after me for not doing a bedside report. No one does bedside report because we hand off to up to 4 different nurses and it takes forever. It's easier to give quick report outside of the room, pop in for a hello and move on to the next nurse. The next shift I am assigned one of the LVN's patients again. While I'm waiting for her to be available for report I skim through the chart and notice meds not given for 6 hours and an order for JP drain removal from 10 hours prior at the start of her shift. I went to see the patient and confirmed my suspicion that the JP drain was still in place. I bring it to the attention of the same day shift charge from the day before who is also our "team leader" and ask her how she wants for me to handle it. She says to see what she says and to tell her that she definitely needs to give the medications before she goes. Charge looks into her other patient's charts and a lot of medications have not been given. This time I insist on bedside shift report and when she gets to the JP drain she says that hopefully it will come out soon, confirming my theory that she had no idea there was even an order for it. The patient also complains that the drain has been in place going on 3 days with no output and I assure him that there is an order from 9am to remove it and I will gladly remove it as soon as possible. She looks shocked and says "yes. I failed to do that. I see. I failed to do that. Thank you for pointing that out. Thank you for your sarcasm." I was going to let it slide but couldn't so I tell her that it's not sarcasm and it's a plain fact. She says that it is sarcasm and it's the way I said it. I refute and press on with how it's a fact from the patient's chart. She then asks if I would like to continue reading the chart on my own and ignore her so she can be done and that she isn't going to do this again with me. Reference to the night before. I tell her that this conversation is no longer appropriate to have in front of a patient and I walked out. I reported this to both the day and night charge and again wrote it up in an email to my director and wrote a variance for delay in treatment for the medications.
So at this point I am torn if I should escalate this to HR or wait and see what my director is going to do. The team leader told me that she had told our director about how the LVN hadn't gone to see the trach patient and that she had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. When I spoke to my director the following morning she made excuses for how she is new to our floor and we are all still trying to figure out how to incorporate an LVN and blah blah blah. It isn't sitting well with me and I don't know what to do.

Hi, I was wondering if anyone who is currently doing the medical imaging degree or has already completed and in the workforce can give me some insight into what the career is like? My parents have been discouraging me and wanting me to accept med if I get in or try for graduate entry. There reasons being that the job is stressful, the pay is low, can’t socialise. you can’t wear makeup and jewellery (my mums take like what… that’s what most jobs in the hospital are like anyways especially doctors). Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.

I (18f) have been living with my mother (49f) and my brother; let’s just call him Steve (20m) just the 3 of us for the last 6 years.
We’ve lived in a small farming community for a while now and we have hated it the whole time. We’ve wanted to move for years, in fact at one point Steve went to live with our deadbeat dad (49m) for 2 years and then with our older brother Mark (32m) for a year. He dropped out of high school and only had a job for about 2 years before he just quit. I struggled really hard throughout school my whole life and barely graduated high school last summer and haven’t gotten around to getting a job yet, which is 100% completely utterly my fault.
I’m an adult and have never had a job, and I don’t have a car or my license, because I haven’t “gotten around to it”. My mom had been working at a place I will not name for our privacy for about 4 years now, but sometime last year she had a mental health downfall… she started going to doctor after doctor and they kept pushing her meds when she told them she didn’t like how they made her feel. Eventually she got put on disability and stopped going to work. That was 10 months ago…. She made significantly less on disability than she did when she went to work.
In October of last year we got a notice on our door saying we had 30 days to pay rent or we would be evicted. At that point we hadn’t paid rent since August, because money was super tight. After the 30 days we never got anything in the mail or anything so we just shrugged it off and basically squatted in our house. Around that time was when Steve moved back from our brother Mark’s house.
The rental office never acted on evicting us, until last week on Wednesday. They sent the sheriff to our door and he said we had 7 days to get out. So over the week we packed up everything we owned and put it all in a storage unit. My best friend, let’s call her Jess, was the only one outside of us that knew we were evicted. I got in trouble with my mom for even telling her in the first place but in the end she helped us move our stuff into the unit. I’m forever grateful for Jess 🩷.
During that 7 days we had gone to every housing crisis place we could think of; we applied for the section 8 waitlist, temporary housing, Salvation Army, etc. but we never qualified for anything because my mom makes $5 over the qualification for cash aid, which cash aid was one of the things that would have gotten us into 9 out of 10 places we applied for. We’re homeless but not poor enough to qualify for any type of help. What kind of bs is that?
Day 7 after the sheriff came, we were packing the rest of our lives into cardboard boxes when he came back and changed our locks. We had an hour to get our pets and the rest of our belongings.
My mom refused to let Steve and I tell our older brother Mark and Jack about anything that was going on because she didn’t want their money, she believed we had everything under control. We didn’t…
After we finally got the rest of our things out of the house and into the unit or our tiny Chevy impala… we drove around for a few hours until we ended up at a truck stop to sleep at for the night..
We lived in our car for 3 days with 2 cats and 3 small dogs… on day 3 Steve finally told our oldest brother, Jack, what was going on because he was tired of lying. Jack lives across the country from us, so he told our other brother Mark and now we’re currently staying at his house. He wasn’t mad that we lost our house, he was just upset he didn’t know….
Mark wants Steve and i to stay here, but in 4 days I’m supposed to go back across state, back to where I used to live, because I’m having a surgery. I would love to stay here and be a permanent babysitter for my niece and my nephews, but Mark is allergic to cats. My cat got me out of a really really rough spot in my life, and I don’t think I can handle leaving him behind… especially after I just lost the place I call my home. Mark and his wife Emma say that if they were in my situation they would kick the cat to the curb….
I don’t know… this kinda just turned into rambling because I’m a little drunk and there’s tears running down my face.
Basically, I’m that person who can’t fucking catch a break….. someone please tell me what to do….
Do I stay homeless and wait for my mom to get on the section 8 list and keep my cat, or do I do what Marcus said and get rid of him and come live here and get a job, license and my own apartment (eventually).
(Also; I’ve tried for days to find a foster for my baby until I can get a place by myself, but none of my friends can do it and I don’t want to to send him to someone one who wants to keep him permanently… I need my baby.
Backstory for the cat: I got him 2 months after Covid-19 caused everything to shut down. Around that time, I had a really bad falling out with my dad, and I was very close to committing…. alivn’t… I found him under my patio furniture, covered in feces and spiderwebs, he was only like three weeks old. He needed me because he was very small. I thought he was gonna die because he needed his mom and she left him (I sat outside with him for hours, waiting to see if his mother would come back and she didn’t.), so I was very determined to bring him back to health, so he wouldn’t die. In the end, he kept me alive more than I did him. He’s my best friend, my whole heart, I cannot leave him anywhere with anyone that I don’t trust, and I don’t trust very many people….
(TLDR: I got evicted and have the option to live with my brother if I get rid of the cat that kept me from suicide for the last 3 years)
Someone please help me…… Tell me what to do… I don’t know what to do….

Sorry this is long.
My(22f) Mom (53) almost died the other night and I still can't get the image out of my head. I am currently home for the summer having just finished my last spring semester of college. My mom who is still pretty young has been plagued with a lot of health issues in the past year and her drinking and smoking don't help her medical issues (she is trying to cut back). She has recently been diagnosised with severe osteoporosis, anemia and multiple vitamin deficiencies, she has been prescribed a lot of medication for this. She found out about her osteoporosis after her husband (M we will call him) slammed her against the wall when he was drunk and fractured 2 discs in her lower back (I have always hated him and I have never viewed him as a father he has always been abusive towards my mother). The other night (5/23/23) after dinner I was in my room playing a video game with my friends when I heard gasping through my headphones. My mom has had a long history of ranging asthma attacks but this one was worse. No one heard her banging on the counter for help. I walked out of my room and down the hall about maybe 2-3 feet when I round the corner and see my mom on the floor, I ran to the back of the house and yelled at M "Mom is on the floor I need her inhaler" he grabs her inhaler and quickly follows be back to the kitchen. I look closer at my mom at this point and see that she is starting to turn blue and not breathing. I don't know what took over me in that moment but I was oddly calm, I adjusted my mom and started doing CPR on her (I have never done CPR on a real person only on dummies in highschool). I yelled at M to call 911. I don't remember how many compressions I did on her to start but I remember giving her 2 breaths and the sound that it made still haunts me after the two breaths I kept doing compressions till her eyes opened back up and I stopped and grabbed her hand and told her to squeeze my hand in hers. I remember turning her on her side into the recovery position as I listened to her labored breathing the EMTs rushed in and took over. I remember sitting on the cold kitchen floor watching my mom come back to her surroundings, I remember her looking at me pissed as she realized she was surrounded by paramedics checking her pulse and heart rate, arguing with them that she was fine. I kept telling her that she needed to go, that I had to give her CPR that she was turning blue and she refused, I walked to my room and called my older brother telling him to tell mom to go. She was eventually cleared by the paramedics after reporting her vitals back to the on call doctor. My mom hates hospitals and refuses to go to them. I sat out in the living room with her for a few hours after that and she eventually got up and went to bed. I checked on her every hour to make sure that she was still breathing while she was asleep. The next morning when I woke up I went to walk out into the kitchen to get myself breakfast and had a flashback of seeing her on the ground me over her giving her CPR and started having a panic attack (I have had these over the years before but not nearly as bad as this was). Since then I haven't been able to really sleep, everytime I close my eyes I see her dying in my arms and hear myself counting the compression echoing in my head, and her getting further and further away from me. I have to go check on her every hour and make sure she is still breathing, I don't end up falling asleep until 5am when she usually gets up and starts her day and I know M will be up as well.
I know that this isn't healthy or good for me and I am trying to get in to see my doctor to get a referral to see a new therapist. I have only told a couple of people about this primarily my Brother (23) and boyfriend (23), I have told 2 of my friends. Nothing will ever prepare you for the trauma of having to perform CPR on a real person but especially when it's you own mother.

TLDR : the clickbait of the title is that it was actually 3 appointments - myself, and both of my daughters (6 and 7).
I cracked a joke right away about getting comfy to spend the next 3 hours together. She told me she had her kid at home bc she was sick and so I might hear "crying, Mickey Mouse, or both". I knew I was in the right place.
We talked through all of my concerns, observations, questions, etc. She was the kind of medical practitioner I would write if I was writing a character for a rom com. She is knowledgeable and passionate about treating ADHD in women and kids and how it affects EVERY aspect of our lives.
At the very least, I have somebody in my corner while I take on the next round of absolute hell fuckery.

1. PERSONALIA

• Age: 25
• Education: Bachelor Laboratory Technology
• Work Experience : 2 years (first job)
• Civil status: Married
• Dependent children (Kinderen ten laste/enfants à charge): 2

**2. TYPE OF CONTRACT

• Current job title/description: Account Manager
• (Ancienniteit/Anciennité): 2 years
• Official hours/week : 38
• Real hours/week (excluding transport): 40
• SectoIndustry: PC200

3. WAGE CONDITIONS)

• Gross wage (brut): 3560
• Net wage (incl. net fees): 2400-2500
• 13th month (full? partial?): Full
• Mobile phone? Laptop?: Both
• Meal vouchers: no
• Ecocheques: yes
• Group Insurance (% part employer): yes
• Hospitalisation Insurance: yes
• Other advantages (bonus, 14th month, stocks...): Commision/bonus 2022: €43000 gross (including double holiday pay and single + double holiday pay on variable pay)

4. MOBILITY

• City/region of work: Remote
• Distance home-work (km's): Depends on customer
• Distance home-work (time): Depends on customer
• Do you need your own car?: no
• How is the travel home-work compensated:
• Company ca-bike (what's the budget, do you have fuel card?): Large SUV, Fuel card

5. OTHER CONDITIONS

• Amount of official holidays: 20
• Holidays due to reduction of work hours (ADV, RTT) : 12
• Other extra holidays: none
• How easy can you plan a day off: Easy
• Shiftwork or daytime job? Daytime
• Flexible working hours: yes
• Amount of stress (standby for troubles at work)?: Depends on sales numbers and (un)happy customers
• How often does overtime happens: never
• Education possibilities: *not really *
• Teleworking (besides corona-period): full-time, with frequent customer visits
• Responsible for personnel (reports): no

Obviously very happy with the current package. On average I’ve earned €5935 gross - €3313 net/month over the past 2 years. With a job hop, I’d be able to get a 20-30% raise easily, but I don’t feel the need to yet.

I have data of around 600 patients. The data includes subjective values about the condition itself (like severity). In addition it includes prophylactic medication intake and evaluates the effectiveness of medications on a scale of 0-10. There are 3 medications that have been recorded. In addition, life circumstances such as working hours, children, educational attainment, etc. have been recorded. I want to find out if the life circumstances are related to the effectiveness of the medication or if there are any correlations. How can I proceed effectively and really do "data mining"? I was thinking of clustering the data by circumstances and then doing statistical tests for each cluster? Does that make sense or is that the wrong approach?

TL;DR: I need to move, I have the opportunity to move but do not have enough money to pay my current landlord AND move. I cannot stay in my living situation anymore, moving is nonnegotiable. How do I talk to my landlord about setting up a payment plan for what I owe him in back rent?
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I currently live in a much more dangerous neighborhood than I thought. Lots of shit has happened to me and I feel it in my gut that I need to bounce from this place, I've felt it for months now so this isn't just some random spur of the moment decision. This is something I've thought of for a while but just never could save up enough to actually go through with it.
I've had a handful of dangerous shit happen or almost happen to me, enough to spook me into a better opportunity. I have been the victim of a hit and run while walking in this city, pepper sprayed from a car and ran when they tried to get me in their car, hunkered down in my bathroom when someone was in my backyard absolutely unloading a gun into random houses, and narrowly avoided being right in the center of a shooting, simply because I didn't have work that day (someone started randomly shooting people on the street I used to walk down every single day, around the time I usually walk).
My hours were cut at work early this year so I fell behind on rent. I was applying like crazy to get a second job, but to no avail. I have enough to move into a better neighborhood, but I don't have enough money to pay back my landlord and move. I cannot stay here anymore, I see my chance to get out and I am fucking taking it.
I don't want to just completely abandon my landlord with no rent money though. He has been fairly patient with me being behind on rent and I do want to get him his money. But I need to be in a safer environment. I will not pass up this opportunity.
How should I talk to him about this? I want to reassure him that he is going to get everything I owe him (and was even thinking about offering to pay an extra month or two since it would ultimately take a while to pay back, as a sort of interest). What's the best way to ask for a payment plan? Anyone else who has been in a similar situation or has any advice at all, I would very much appreciate it.

I have data of around 600 patients. The data includes subjective values about the condition itself (like severity). In addition it includes prophylactic medication intake and evaluates the effectiveness of medications on a scale of 0-10. There are 3 medications that have been recorded. In addition, life circumstances such as working hours, children, educational attainment, etc. have been recorded. I want to find out if the life circumstances are related to the effectiveness of the medication or if there are any correlations. How can I proceed effectively and really do "data mining"? I was thinking of clustering the data by circumstances and then doing statistical tests for each cluster? I would differentiate between medication. Does that make sense or is that the wrong approach?

Made a previous post about an accident I was part of back in September 2022. Quick run thru: got everything in order with $150 for no insurance and the rest dismissed during March 2023. I had attended a driving refresher class during February 2023 prior to March court date.
During January on a Saturday morning, received an aggressive call from other party's insurance (the large eyed reptilian thing) attorneys to pay $1,500 some. I was half asleep when I answered and told them I would call back them back once I was more awake and coherent. Called back later on around 11 or 12, listened to what they were saying and came to an agreement that I would do the payment plan with sending the first money order of $500. The rest would be of $100 per month.
Originally, it was going to be paid off by August or so. Received the first receipt and it stated original balance about $1,171. Kept sending the money orders and receiving the receipts. Last receipt was $371 and I get the phone call during work hours, it the other party's insurance attorney point of contact. They informed me that they would be adding 10K due to a medical report they barely recieved. I asked why as the original agreed amount was of about $1,171. They said they would do an investigation and draw up a settlement agreement to ensure that nothing else was added later on. We hung up and currently am withholding the next money order. This is my first time dealing with this. What can I do?
This is in Texas.

My ex (27f) and I (34m) started dating on December 11th 2022.
We became very close very fast, to the point she would spend nearly every night at my house even accompany me on a 4 day vacation I was originally going to go on wlone.
We have had numerous arguments mostly from a lack of boundaries, high expectations, and her viewing sex as transactional (former stripper).
While I've had my own issues, such as over texting, over reacting, calling when she wants time to figure things out. My ex is often very quick to anger, will often to threaten to leave if I talk about an issue or my feelings.
We've been broken up since early April. From there she did not pull down social media photos or block me, she kept allowing me or engaging in hanging out with me. Alluding to hope we could fix things, I've done numerous things to do what she's asked to change my behaviors that are problematic. She doesn't really compromise on any of hers. I've forgiven her for actions, she says she forgives me.
A weekend prior to this one, she had shown up solo to my work party and I ended up talking to her. She came to my house we had a fun night, then we discussed our breakup and what she needed. She told me how she loved me more than anyone and cares and eventually wants to be with me.
She promised we would be exclusive during this period while she gets it together and figures things out. We spent that Thursday til last Monday together.
On Tuesday I call her to try and cheer her up because she's having money problems, I offer to help her by paying her to do some work for me and I also send her 100 on venmo for free
She explains she's going to do postmates, I say ok, full well knowing she's most likely going to audition at a strip club. When i say that she's made me wait for 3 hours to get the answer that she won't be coming to help me. She gets upset saying I'm purposefully trying to make her feel bad. I ask for a short 5 min phone call. She won't give it to me, and is sending short dismissive texts and blaming me for "all our calls are long"
Throughout the night I call it that she's lying, she eventually answers a call from me around 1241 saying she doesn't have to tell me anything. (This is directly after she had told me were exclusive the weekend prior I even make mention of this) I had planned to tell her I knew she was doing a stripping audition and it's okay on the phone.
I find myself anxious and upset, and I decide that this breakup has been very drawn out and I'm going to drop her contacts off the next day. As I drive by her house I see a man leaving. I take a picture and send it to her on instagram
She eventually talks to me comes clean that she got the real job she wanted but went to a stripping audition last night, got the job there too but she qont be taking the job as a stripper. Then explained she went to the bar we met at and ended up hanging out with a guy and doing cocaine. She claims her and this man only made out for a minute or so, no cuddling cause she felt weird then he left.
She comes to my house and tries to make things better, we eventually get hot and heavy and I say 'it was only kissing?' Figuring that if this is what she needed to know she needs to be with me, fine.
She confirms it wasn't only kissing and if it wasn't she wouldn't have sex with me because that would be messed up.
I end up contacting the guy on instagram (she told me his name, and I have seen him at the bar before. Very easy to find his ig) he says she's telling the truth.
I try to talk to my ex, she's being very angry that I'm pushing the conversation of if it's the real truth and why does she keep flip flopping back snd forth between being in love and pushing me away and now light cheating.
Later I talk to the guy she cheated with, and get out of him that they did more than just kiss, and that they just didn't have sex because of cocaine making it so he can't get hard.
I immediately tell my ex how she's a lying mean person for doing all this, and not only lying to begin with but to get mad at me about telling her she's lying even more.
Since then, we've been hanging out and I have been trying to push it aside and think "well if this is what she needed to know she wants to be with me"
Now she's telling me that she wants to remain single, but loves and cares about me and I'm the best sex and am so much more attractive etc. But she wants to be single because I'm "too sensitive" and says now it'll be annoying because I will want to know where she is or who she's with, which I explain is entirely her doing for breaking the trust.
Before this the reason was her "not feeling safe" which she feels safe with me now..
What am I dealing with here? I've been very kind to this woman, I've spent thousands on her, I've excused bad behavior, I've treated her like a queen. She won't let me go, but she won't be with me, and now she's suito cheating
There's lots of details outside of just this, but it feels like I'm in a catch 22 nothing will make this woman see reason and she tends to blame me for everything..
Is she a narcissistic person? What is this

I have no money and two cones left for the next 12 hours of being awake. I'm going to have them to get to sleep later and then try and never buy weed again. I have known I need to stop/am addicted for 10 years, but nothing else in the world makes me feel as comfortable/happy as smoking. But I'm not even sure that's true anymore. Yeah, food, tv and sex is better, but are they really the end all feelings to experience?
Every day, at the end of the day, covered in either Cheeto dust or my own reproductive juices, I feel sick with shame. I have hit rock bottom many times. I have filmed myself crying, looking like I'm barely awake/alive, pleading with future me to stop. I am 29 and have missed my entire 20s sitting at home smoking. I have no job, very tenuous relationships, and am debilitated by anxiety and regret all day, every day. I tell myself I will clean my room tomorrow, not smoke until the evening, work out, see my friends, create art, but it is all so hard and makes me want to lay down, and I end up smoking before breakfast every day and wasting my entire day. I go to bed at 6 am and get up at 2. And that's a good day.
I have no money for a therapist. I can't get a job because I'm on trial for a crime I will be proven not guilty for, a crime I didn't commit that has ruined the last 4 years of my life. Judge or don't, understand even if I am to be judged, no human deserves to live like this.
I am severely aware of my own mortality and seeing myself waste my days like this, seeing my life have the steering wheel already turning for me, I just don't know what to do. I genuinely mean that I can't stop myself from smoking all day every day. I have tried meds from a doctor and they don't help. I feel like I need to check myself into rehab but I don't think it will help me, I have experienced ego death and am aware of why I self medicate. I am just in a really shitty spot and if I spend another day staring at YouTube for 3 hours before moving an inch, I will scream, which is a repeated action and therefore understatement. Please, I am more than ready to stop, what in the actual fuck do I do?

To preface, this is a throwaway. I will not be mentioning any personal information of individuals for privacy concerns. This is going to be a bit long, so if you're okay with that please continue. This is also going to be a bit out of the place.
I have been babysitting a boy (9) and a girl (6), both in elementary school, for around 8 months now. I started doing babysitting several months prior to that as a part time job while I'm in college for extra cash.
Prior to my first encounter with him, I was informed that the child displays traits of autism and is currently on medication for another condition, which gives him a side effect of aggression. When I first heard of this, it was out of my expertise and I was nervous in dealing with the situation. I wanted to turn it down, but I accepted it and tried it out.
Despite the initial panic, I was much calmer when I realized I was dealing with taking care of his younger sister for a few months, far before I started taking care of both of them. The sister is sweet, kind, and very spunky. She's basically a sweetheart who likes to give hugs when you pick her up and when you leave. Everyday, I come and get her first and she always comes with a smile and tells me what she did in class, and how she was. She smiles and is very very outgoing, loves coloring, and always wants to spend time with me.
The older one, the boy, is sweet, but complicated. He has particular fixations on certain things, some are cool (like planets) and the other things are a bit concerning (I'll mention that later). He's a high-functioning autistic child, but he struggles at making friendships and maintaining a positive and outgoing demeanor. He can be very kind and very open, but when he's upset, it gets a bit difficult for him to relax. He can become frustrated quite quickly, saying he hates his sister, punching her and hitting her, before he goes back to playing.
So, I began picking up on certain behaviors that I would argue weren't typically healthy for a child his age.
He picked up on a lot of "death" and "killing" scenes. Some time ago, he asked me what animals kill their newborns. He likes horror games, and he's talked about death towards other people and things.
Secondly, he plays Roblox. Naturally, he picks up on words and languages that aren't usually age appropriate. Their father lets them watch TikTok, which.. is questionable given that they're underage and there's a lot of explicit scenes that they could pick up from that.
When I first met him, he didn't swear, but recently, he's began cursing and saying "f*ck". He would tell his parents to go "f*ck" themselves when he's upset, or when he gets upset with her he screams at her. He swears excessively and I've asked him to stop using that language, but it's difficult for me to get my words to him. His parents say the same thing. And I get it, it is difficult to swerve him away from the use of words like that, especially when he's a child. But it gets concerning to when he's screaming it to his sister saying he "f*cking knows" that there's a leaf on his pants. So she walks away. She's practically used to his outbursts. She gets upset in some instances, but when it's between his parents she acts as if his constant outbursts are normal.
He also academically struggles, and can get frustrated when he has to do homework consecutively. His parents sit down with him to do the work. He gets frustrated quickly and cannot sit for long periods to do work because it overstimulates him. To counter this, in the case that he was assigned homework, I would give him breaks and make him come back to do some work. It worked perfectly; he wouldn't get upset, he wouldn't react, and even though getting his attention was quite difficult, he was fine doing it that way.
Reiterating his academic struggles, he attends a public school and has been held back in the second grade and may be pushed back again because he does not meet academic standards for his grade. Grades are scored out of 4 for elementary school students, so if you earn a 1-2 you're struggling. Grades are determined by english and math scores, as well as for the students' ability to work with others. He has received 1-2's in these areas. To my knowledge, I have not been to school with him and I am not aware of his school behavior, only of his home behavior, or his behavior around me.
His parents do not discipline him except for "___ don't do this" "___ listen to Mommy", because it's difficult to discipline a child who is autistic. He does not know how to apologize when he hurts someone and he does not necessarily understand people's feelings apart from his. So, he reacts without thinking. It's understandable, and I am not shaming him, but I know these behaviors can be integrated with proper learning.
This past Thursday, I went to go look after him while his mother went to a meeting. He was on a field trip for his class and other classes to a nearby park, and I was supposed to look after him for 2 hours. I get to the park to meet his mom, and I see him on top of one of the structures eating his lunch. When he finally notices me, he comes down after finishing, telling me he wants to go play with the bubbles. So I go with him. There's other kids and classmates around him, running around making large bubbles to chase with.
The soap buckets have ropes in them that the kids can play with. Multiple kids gathered around it to blow gigantic bubbles so that they could chase them. He was one of those kids. Some girls would ask for their turn and switch, and the boys did the same. When he asked for a turn, the girls gave him the rope so he could play with it.
The problem first came when one of the girls asked if she could use it, but he was very fixated on trying to make the bubbles work, so he would move away when the girl politely asked if she could use it. One of the girls suggested he slowly mix it so he could blow the bubbles, but this is where he got upset. He swore, then kicked the bucket before throwing the rope to the other side of where I was standing. One of the girls went to try to go get it before he did, but he ran after it. She picked it up first, and he screamed loudly, running to the girl to try to punch her and push her down, before his overseer came and separated them. The girl started crying because while he was busy trying to get the ropes out of her hand, the soap flung into her eye. This made us return to the school, where he had to write an apology. I was quite shaken up by the situation, but I returned to school with him and took him home.
He has had persistent outbursts. In one instance he gripped his sisters arm extremely tight forcefully for playing a different mode of a game. He's punched her for playing by herself because he would ruin the way she wanted to play. He's pushed her down on the sidewalk. He's tried to attack her several times, before I had to separate them. And, as I was waiting in the office for him, the clerk waiting in the front asked me how he was like at to which I stated "pretty calm" (since in fact, he does not get upset at me nor does he hit me). But when I asked "how is he like at school?", the clerk said something along the lines of "he's forced a boy to do the splits" and "he's punched several kids".
The youngest one gets upset at him for doing things, like ruining her lego sets and saying things that she doesn't like. She has her moments too, but those are mostly a reaction to his words and his actions.
So, my feelings to this are complicated. When he's with me, he is not upset. Actually, I can recall two times in which he was frustrated, but he has never raised his voice nor screamed at me. But since it's not just me and him, but his sister as well, he reacts and gets upset at her when she does something. He's very prone to anger, so much so that I become a bit nervous when he's having an outburst. My heart races a bit.
I also don't have any experience to working with autistic children in exception to him, but nonetheless, I am calm and always do my best to give happy and positive experiences towards him. I always try to make him smile, tell him stories and play with him. My intuition is telling me that his environment is overstimulating. He has a hard time forming friendships to begin with, so this makes his school life very complicating and challenging because he acts withouts thinking.
But my clear feeling is that, if this behavior continues, he may become more reactive. He will be much more aggressive, brute, and scarier. His sister, who forgives him and still plays with him, may be more afraid of his behavior as he gets older. I am not asking for advice, but I am worried about this behavior because it's.. quite scary that he picks up on this. He doesn't even feel bad when he hurts his sister sometimes, because she'll be crying and he'll be laughing. It's hard watching it. I love both kids, but I'm uncertain what he'll be. Yes he's 9, but he'll grow.
I feel so bad about writing this, I can't even bring this up to the mother. I never told her. I'd feel like I'm telling her how to raise her own child and it's not my part nor my place to tell her how to raise him. I do my best. The reason I'm not telling this from how he treats me is because he's fine when it comes to me, but I'm concerned for his peers. They experience a lot of harassment from him, and yes, I understand, he's autistic. But I know that these behaviors can be changed. I'm researching ways to deal with this, but please feel free to offer your input.

I currently work as IT support for a big medical company. I use crazy data on a daily basis and I am thinking about pursuing the data analysis carrear but I don’t want (money) go to college. I know that you guys are in a ENTIRE dif level here. But if you can give me some advice… I don’t want to trust the YouTubers showing how they became data analysts. Prefer seeing your responses since you are out there doing the real work. I am thinking get more fluent in excel first SQL 2nd Power BI - To work the data Phyton 4th to mine data.
All the courses I am thinking about getting it on coursera or udemy because my actual company will pay the course and separate 30 min per day on work schedule for me to study them.
What your guys inputs?
Thank you sooo much.