Orange triangle on my adt alarm
I'm the worst version of myself, really need advice.
2023.05.28 08:28 JazzyJukebox69420 I'm the worst version of myself, really need advice.
Alright, I’m not super sure how to start this so I’m going to start with giving some background. I don’t want this to sound braggy or like I’m jerking myself off so sorry if it comes out that way but I think the context is pretty important to understand my position. This is gonna get pretty specific so I hope I don’t out myself too much to my anyone who might know me. I’m a 22 year old engineering (rising senior undergraduate) student at a small college (and one of the best colleges for engineering in the US). For reference, all of my classmates are absolutely brilliant and the school is a STEM college. This gets important later on. I am really passionate about computer science, engineering, and natural science and I want to start a company when I graduate that does some sort of innovative work in these fields. I’m also a musician and I write, record, and release music in a few genres. I’ve made a bit of a business out of the music that I make and the playlists that I use to promote my own music. It’s basically my biggest and most consistent stream of income. I play a bunch of different instruments (guitar, bass guitar, upright bass, piano, violin, ukulele, drums, and now cello) and I sing. I don’t really play any of the instruments exceptionally well but I can play them well enough for my needs. Also, I’m in an acapella group and sometimes in choir and I occasionally gig with other bands on campus. I’m also really into travel and photography. I took a year off of school during COVID and I visited a ton of national parks, I think I’ve visited somewhere around 30. I’m also really into photography and I’ve been trying to make a small business out of that as well. For a last tad bit of background, I grew up low-income and was entirely self motivated. I just lived with my mom who didn’t know anything about college and frankly just wanted me to get a job throughout most of high-school. Everything I accomplished it was out of sheer drive and personal discipline. In high school I had exceptional grades, a ton of amazing friends, and was in a serious romantic relationship that gave me a lot of meaning. My goal was to go to get into a good college and get a scholarship so that I could afford to give my future children things that I never could have. At the end of high school, my goals got as lofty as they could be and I felt secure in who I was and what I was doing. For a tiny bit more added context I’m taking antidepressants, ADHD medication, and anti-anxiety medication which has actually helped a lot. The one place that I’ve improved as a person seems to be mental health. I also don’t drink or do any kinds of drugs, although I don’t think anything is wrong with doing them, I know I have a very addictive personality and family issues with these things so I chose not to. I’m only mentioning this so you know it’s not part of the issue. But since I’ve started college (in 2019) I’ve made no progress towards my goals or aspirations, I’ve learned almost nothing, I prioritize nothing of value when you look at how I spend my time, I have no mastery over myself or my surroundings. I’m somehow floating on what is honestly a fabricated layer of understanding. I understand nothing in my classes, and I just do the bare minimum in every aspect of my life besides music. Somehow I pass my classes. My grades range from C-s to As, I have around a 3.0 GPA. Not great, but not as bad as it *should be* (based on my actual level of knowledge and understanding). I think part of my problem is that I know how much I can *get away with* without failing or destroying my grades. But I never take the time to learn the material. One of the worst parts is that I find all of the subject matter to be either important, interesting, or both…. And yet my behavior shows me that I don’t really feel that way. I don’t understand why. Throughout half of my college career, I’ve slept though many of my early classes, sometimes missing most of my classes because of some lame excuse I had. I never really *wake up* I’m just either asleep, half-awake in bed, and then eventually I’m out of bed and awake. My alarm at this point means basically nothing to me. Once I’m up, I either do some work that’s non-important and non-urgent or go to class. When I actually am in class, I end up getting distracted on my computer. If I don’t bring my computer I start by trying to focus and then I gradually allow myself not to focus at all. I end up almost learning nothing, and when I do start to try, I feel incredibly stupid. I don’t feel like I understand any of the concepts that are being thrown at me but I know that I *should* because (for the most part) none of them are actually that hard! This is in huge contrast to high school, where I woke up very early to my first alarm, shaved, showered, and got ready in the morning, then went to school for some 7 hours, then I went home, took a half hour break, then did homework until 1 or 2 in the morning. I got very little sleep but other than that I was doing well academically and was very motivated, despite struggling with mental health issues. I’ve been told that it’s burnout but I disagree. I may be wrong but if it is— what’s actually causing the burnout?? Oversleeping then half-stressing about my assignments? Here are the things that I try and accomplish during my time at school: - School (pass all my classes and take classes that I’m interested in/find useful) - Social - Participate in activities on campus that seem fun - Hang out with friends - Spend time with my partner - Go on dates - Music: - Produce and release music - Promote said music - Write new music (15 min - 1 hr daily) - Practice instrument(s) (15m-1 hr daily) - Rehearse (roughly 5 hours weekly) with my acapella group - Photography: - Take photos for the school at times - Travel to nearby parks and take photos - Edit photos - Do astrophotography - Physical health - Strength Training (at least 15 min daily) - Cardio (1 mile daily) - Stretch training (5 min daily) - Financial health - Save money - Make money (w/music business) - Goals - Work on my startup (like 30min- 2 hours per week) And honesty, yeah that’s probably a lot. A lot of people say it’s too much, but I’ve seen my classmates do it, and do *all of it* better than me, and I understand how. I see how much time I waste— and it’s a lot. How do I stop? And if your advice is to cut something out— what do I cut out?? Do I remove the things that I love? Or the things that are meaningful to my long-term goals? I don’t see one thing in here that would be safe to eliminate. Here are some big issues that I’ve been really struggling with: - Gaining too much weight - Eat when bored and not hungry - Sleep too much - Don’t wake up to my alarm - I’ve tried alarm apps, I make the conscious decision to go back to bed every morning despite walking 500 steps to turn my alarm off!! - Accomplish less in more time - Friends don’t seem to value me - Little to no self control - Extremely lazy - Always put in the bare minimum - I don’t learn - I’m getting my entire massive tuition paid by financial aid and I honestly can’t say I’ve learned anything value - I learned very well in high school - I went home and studied and got very little sleep, was in orchestra, in jazz, and in a band on top of writing and recording my own music - Lost my DRIVE and I don’t know why - I don’t look forward to much because I’m ashamed of where I’m at - I have very little motivation to do anything beyond the bare minimum in everything - I don’t prioritize the urgent OR the important well - I just do what I *need to* - I spend my time really poorly. When I have free time I don’t use it to have fun OR to be truly productive - I spend time not working and not having fun or relaxing - I don’t spend as much time with friends as I should - I don’t study as much as or when I should - I don’t work on my music as much or when I should - I don’t even play games or video games - I don’t relax when I should or *how* I should - I often take a nap for “just 30 minutes” which ends up taking half my day… hours and hours… In contrast, I was a better person in EVERY way when I was 16. Currently, I find myself: 1. Struggling as a student, with a noticeable decline in academic performance, and more importantly— LEARNING LESS THAN HIGH SCHOOL 2. Feeling inadequate as a partner, failing to put in the effort to nurture my relationship. 3. Struggling to wake up on time, repeatedly snoozing my alarm and compromising my productivity. 4. Having an unhealthy diet, consistently making poor food choices. 5. Becoming a less supportive friend, neglecting meaningful connections with those close to me, reaching out, texting and calling less 6. Experiencing a decrease in my social circle, resulting in fewer friendships. 7. Making minimal progress towards my goals, lacking the drive and determination to succeed. 8. Struggling to maintain positive habits, finding it difficult to establish and stick to routines. 9. Facing challenges when it comes to learning, feeling like I'm not absorbing information effectively. 10. Perceiving a decline in my athletic abilities, which is both surprising and disheartening. I find myself at my worst because: 1. Lack of focus: I struggle to maintain concentration and often choose not to focus. 2. Strained friendships: I have become a worse friend, neglecting gestures like gift-giving and meaningful quality time. 3. Declining social engagement: I prioritize less in-depth communication, barely making time for calls or outings with friends. 4. Lack of meaningful self-expression: Aside from occasional jokes, I fail to share my life in a meaningful way. 5. Regretful use of time: I realize I have wasted precious moments while important people in my life are moving on. 6. Academic decline: I am now a horrible student, rarely attending classes and lacking focus when I do. 7. Poor academic performance: I don't understand or actively pursue a grasp of course concepts, resulting in minimal learning. 8. Last-minute approach: I habitually leave assignments until the eleventh hour, resulting in superficial comprehension. 9. Unmerited extensions: I constantly request extensions without valid reasons, undermining my integrity. 10. Failure to learn: Despite attending a top-tier school, I feel like I've learned nothing over the past three years. 11. Sleep struggles: Snoozing my alarm for hours has become a daily routine, negatively impacting my health and productivity. 12. Disrupted sleep patterns: My oversleeping contributes to a lack of structure in starting my day and affects my well-being. 13. Relationship shortcomings: Though my partner loves me, I acknowledge that I have not fulfilled their needs in our relationship. 14. Neglected effort: I no longer plan dates or create thoughtful gifts as I used to, failing to prioritize quality time. 15. Physical decline: Surprisingly, I have also experienced a decline in athletic performance and overall fitness. 16. Unhealthy habits: I've gained weight and developed unhealthy eating patterns, often eating when not hungry. 17. Abandoned exercise routine: Despite initially committing to regular gym visits and running, I have completely stopped. 18. Lack of progress: My fitness levels have plateaued, and I haven't seen any improvement in my strength or endurance. 19. Wasting time: I squander countless moments without studying, being productive, enjoying myself, or nurturing relationships. 20. Lost sense of purpose: I struggle to identify what I am doing with my time, neglecting important areas of my life. 21. I feel stupid, which hurts a lot because I definitely think I’m less intelligent than I was in high school To top all of it off, I don’t feel like my few remaining best friends really value me. A lot of them graduated recently and one of them honestly told me “I noticed that a lot of the time people on the trip didn’t value your input or what you felt… with your senior year, find people who value you.” And it hurt, because I was feeling that way the whole time I was on the trip with them. What did I do to cause this? I used to love myself, I was depressed and anxious but I used to REALLY love myself. I was proud of who I was. Now when I look at myself, I’m ashamed of what I’ve become. And the worst part is I really know that younger me would be beyond disappointed in every way. I understand incremental improvement and all that but I can’t make my life better at all! I try developing habits only to ditch them a few days in. Why? What’s wrong with me? I know change is possible, but where do I begin?
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2023.05.28 08:26 Wonderful_Many4121 Pick a face! Im spoilt for choices! lol!
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Eye decals from the 30ms optional decal set! My current favourites are the orange eyes on the type C face part & the purple eyes on the type A!! Highly recommended to top coat once u are done!! submitted by Wonderful_Many4121 to MegamiDevice [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 08:25 Wonderful_Many4121 Pick a face!! Im spoilt for choices! lol!
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Eye decals from the 30ms optional decal set! My current favourites are the orange eyes on the type C face part & the purple eyes on the type A!! Highly recommended to top coat once u are done!! submitted by Wonderful_Many4121 to 30_Minutes_Missions [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 08:17 rggyouknowme Default Alarm Sound/Tone
How do you permanently change the default alarm sound? Every time I ask Siri to set an alarm it plays an old song I downloaded on my phone a very long time ago as the default. (I know how to change it manually) Thanks!
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2023.05.28 08:17 seongjinwoo check my work on ImgCreator.AI--very young teen, male/boy, with short messy hair, devil orange eyes, black hair, cool, handsome looking, long eyelashes bottom, in a city, white rugged poncho, modern black clothes, part of yakuza clan, with a scar on his chin, neck tattoos, in a city
2023.05.28 08:15 Scarline809 Installing Mydterium Node on Windows
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I just finished installing Mysterium on my orange pi just fine but I'm having issues on my windows PC where its telling me to check my virtualization i enabled it on my bios but everytime i restart my PC to install the app it stays stuck on this option can't figure how to get passed it to get the node to work and have it up and running submitted by Scarline809 to MysteriumNetwork [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 08:15 No_Prompt_3035 Can’t Leave Body.
I’ve been experiencing vibrations and sleep paralysis for almost a decade. This is all very normal to me.
Recently, I decided to finally get serious with AP and having a really hard time “leaving” my body.
("Leaving the body" is a misnomer that assumes the physical as a fundamental reality. We’re already "out of body" as unbounded and free consciousness.)
With that out of the way, I’m still using the body here as an initial point of reference or training wheels to get started on this journey.
So… I usually set the alarm for 5am, wake up, walk around a bit, and then go back to bed. It takes me a few seconds to start falling back asleep, and here's where the sleep paralysis is induced, followed by vibrations, sounds, etc. - the usual.
As these vibrations are happening, I usually set my intention on floating upward toward the ceiling or sometimes to simply going through the roof above my home.
The issue happens right at this point. Whenever I attempt the exit, things become extremely blurry, dense, and almost dream-like. It feels like I’m stuck to my body no matter what.
Sometimes, out of frustration, I try to stand up on my bed with my astral body. I’ve been able to get my head out and also my arms but have never been able to fully disconnect from the physical.
I want to have a fully lucid experience, start developing the muscle, and be able to explore the universe/other realities at will.
I would appreciate input here from experienced AP'ers.
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2023.05.28 08:13 BiTwink01 Average Liberal School of Delhi ...Thoughts ?
2023.05.28 08:12 cherry_hillss What happens if I lose blood often?
TW self harm
Over the past few weeks I have a lost a substantial amount of blood on separate days due to self harm. The wounds are not a problem and are taken care of, but the blood loss is my concern. I am 157cm and weigh aprox 43kg.
On May 12th I lost about 650ml of blood, I felt pretty much fine but had a few minutes of severe nausea and felt like I was going to throw up (I didn’t actually though) but otherwise fine. About a week later I lost 350ml of blood. Again felt fine, no nausea this time. Another week later (two days ago) I lost about 500ml of blood. Felt pretty much fine. The day after (yesterday) I started hearing my heartbeat unusually loudly in my ears, but not a big deal (I think?). Physically I feel pretty much fine. My heart rate is faster but not alarmingly I think.
I’m wondering if I am causing any long term/permanent damage to my body from this blood loss? Also should I expect to get other side effects (like the heart beat in the ears)? What would happen if I were to continue losing blood like this?
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2023.05.28 08:09 donaldgloverloverr 21F fat gf with 24M skinny bf
My boyfriend (24M) and I (21F) have been together for over a year, and we’re super happy together. At least, I know I’m over the moon to be with him.
The thing is, I’m decently midsized to fat and he is very slim. I’ve been a bit overweight my whole life and it’s something I’ve struggled with a lot in terms of fatphobia, the way people treat me because of it, the way I see myself etc.
My boyfriend has a few overweight people in his family that has definitely instilled some subconscious fatphobia in him. He saw these family members go through some serious health scares that was partially due to their weight, so he has grown up to be much more health conscious, which I think makes total sense. He never imposes those biases on me but there are times where it just slips out and I notice.
I sometimes catch him staring at my stomach when we’re in bed together. I’ve noticed it often enough that I’ve honestly stopped wanting to be naked around him at all. I feel like it’s out of the ordinary of normal staring too, because I never catch him staring at other things like my boobs or my ass unintentionally, so the fact that I’ve noticed specifically my stomach kinda raises some alarm bells for me.
He’ll also say things on occasion that kinda hurt to hear, as a fat person. He’ll take his stomach fat and squish it and talk about how fat he’s gotten (even though we both know that’s not remotely true). I know he can be insecure too, but I can’t help but think about how he must see me if he thinks that this is fat.
I’m also pretty open about my fatness and my struggles with my weight and ED. When I talk about my experiences as a fat person, my boyfriend will often shut the conversation down quickly by saying “you’re not fat you’re so beautiful”. Of course I appreciate the sentiment but it bothers me the way he equates the word fat with ugly. In these moments, im not complaining about my size but im simply acknowledging my weight and how it has changed my experiences with others in life. Telling me im beautiful just doesn’t help imo.
These are just a few examples, but this is what I can distinctly remember hurts me that he does (I have a really shit memory) and I communicated that to him. We had a long talk about it and in the end he apologized, acknowledged those biases, and said he’ll reflect on how to start unlearning them.
I’m really happy with how that conversation went, but after some reflection, I’m wondering was I being unreasonable?? These really were small things and I’m not sure if I was overreacting just because it triggered my own insecurities. The only reason I spoke to him in the first place is because a couple of his friends made some really rude comments about my weight the first time I met them. My boyfriend wasn’t there when they said the comments and I didn’t tell him about the situation until recently. When I did, I felt like he didn’t understand how much it affected me to hear that, and I went on a whole rant about his friends’ fatphobia that then went into his internalized fatphobia.
Was I overreacting? Idk. Typing it out makes me feel even stupider about the whole thing. But it just all hurt my feelings.
And if I wasn’t overreacting how do I help my bf, and how does he help himself with unlearning the fatphobia?? He’s not able to see a therapist atm (weird complications with his current therapist) and idk how to even start helping him. It’s still a hard subject for the both of us to talk about considering we’re both kinda sensitive in our own ways to it.
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2023.05.28 08:05 Froggyblocks PC no display
Hi there I was playing with my pc. I turned it off and on a few hours later. It wasn't showing any display. I reseated the ram and now the dram debug light is orange and still no display. What should i do?
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2023.05.28 08:03 Odd_Session_1178 WIBTA for going out with a guy i met online?
I(19F) met a guy online that lives fairly close, and found out he and I share the same interests, hes not going to be super close for long, but this will be one of the only times I get to see him.
My BF(18M) doesn't like the idea of me going out with other guys. He knows about the guy im going to go out with on Tuesday, but not all the details, as i am more scared that he'll go off if he does find out.
The boy i met is so sweet, and hes cute, so ill call him cute boy. Anyways, Cute boy made it clear that he was open to anything, and I'm down for whatever happens, as long as i am not going behind my boyfriend's back, which is something I did in the past but thats a long story that has really fucked me up because of the place i was in at the time.
I'll leave updates with what happens with cute boy, but WIBTA?
A bit of extra info: My boyfriend doesn't trust other guys after i was taken advantage of by an ex bf of mine, and he holds it over me. Im am ass for what happened, i know that, but my BF told me he didn't want me going to hang with some dude i dont know, bc it could be the same as before, and he wasn't going to have that. Im taking my pepper spray and an alarm with me, in case i need it.
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2023.05.28 08:02 beurownkind Don't know my Mac Shade!! Need Help...
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Surprisingly I never owned any mac foundation and most of the time I end up picking a wrong shade as i am unaware ofy MAC shade.... This time I thought I will visit a store which I did and the counter person swatched 2 shades NC 44 & 43.5 both looked so orange on me... As if someone slapped my face hard 🥺.... So guys, I need help to identify my MAC shade... submitted by beurownkind to MakeupAddiction [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 07:48 WarmHugs1206 “Meet Me At Mama’s Place”
This happened about two hours ago.
I live in a sleepy part of Metry very close to the parish line but near a major cut-through street that could have you out of the parish in maybe 1-2ish minutes depending how crazy you’re driving. To my delight - It is still very much a neighborhood - from the over priced real estate down the block to the multi-families where drugs are definitely being sold to the wonderfully nosey old ladies in their cottages.
My aunt lives next door to me, we are on a corner and she in the middle of the block between my front street and her other neighbor who faces the cut-through.
Aunt calls me and asks if my husband will go outside and check because someone is knocking on her door and she doesn’t know who it is. My first thought is no fucking way I’m sending him, I’m calling 911. She tells me to wait. I do. I’ve got a sleeping 3 yr old snuggled together with husband and if I wake one, I wake both. She offers no details besides that this person knocked and is now sitting on her porch. And is wearing a baseball cap. She lives alone. It’s not very well lit.
I tell her to hold on and I start putting my boots. I’m going check her front door from around the way. Before I get out my own door she says “oh my god he’s coming to my back door call 911” so I hang up and call 911. Lock my own back door which is a good few paces from hers and also very poorly lit. I’m panicking because - isn’t home invasion like everyone’s worst nightmare?
While on the phone with 911, I’m looking at my aunt’s house through my bathroom window. I can’t see the back door and momentarily I can see a guy in the shadows come from the back of my aunt’s house and begin to make his way to the aforementioned thoroughfare. I then see my neighbor on the other side of aunt’s house come out and start talking to the guy. From my window all I can see is the back of shadow guy walking away from my aunt’s house. Intervening neighbor has two small children inside.
My husband at my prompting gets up at this point and isn’t alarmed in the least. “It’s probably some drunk guy wandering into the wrong house.” There is a neighborhood bar nearby. Fair-ish enough although for the better part of a decade living here we have never had a drunk visitor.
We’re both watching the neighbor talk to the guy while I’m still on the line with 911. The shadow’s body language suggests harmlessness but that could also be drug-addled and reckless. Erratic?! Who can tell? The 911 dispatcher informs me that there are now units on the scene.
Like fucking stealth hawks in the night four JPSO squad cars pull up on either side of the block 2/2. No lights no sounds. They were there in five minutes flat.
Turns out by the time the officers got there my aunt figured out it was a friend of her son, early 20’s. My cousin had told said “burglar” friend via text to “meet me at mama’s place” and friend thought he meant his literal mother’s house. Friend is not drunk whatsoever. He’s a sweet guy who interpreted my cousin literally. He even arrived with a six pack of Andy gator. Cousin had apparently texted him “come through the back” - hence the walking to attempt to enter through the back porch.
As we stood in the street while the cops pulled away without fanfare we couldn’t help but laugh. All I could think was how relieved I was it wasn’t a bad guy. How ridiculous I felt for such a false alarm. And how fucking glad I was that if it had been bad that the police showed up. Holy fuck.
Now. There are many holes in the Swiss cheese that aligned to create a memorable situation for my aunt, my cousins’s friend, and me.
All I can tell you is this: at some point in the first conversation with my aunt, I was scared shitless. The next thing is that those squad cars showed up so fast I was astonished. The final thing I will tell you is that I don’t keep a gun in my home because I don’t know how to use one. I believe in them. So if you’re like me, reinforce your doors, or if you do responsibly own a gun, you know who you are. Don’t let the fright lead you. Key word is responsible.
The final, final is - thank you to JPSO. And to NOPD please know that effective policing is possible. What’s your problem? This is not a blame on individuals, it’s a blame on the organization. I used to live in a “safe” part of Orleans parish. I do not consider it as such now because criminal activity which did not exist there before some recent snap of fingers -??? I am extremely concerned about the individual NOPD officers and how degraded they are. Support our police. Public safety is a joint effort.
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2023.05.28 07:48 Creepy_Travel8626 I think my boyfriend was looking at underage anime characters. What should I do?
I opened my boyfriends phone last night to see if he set his alarms as he often forgets. As I opened his recent apps I saw an 18+ page with Izumina erotica according to the googling I did. Google puts both of the characters’ ages from 15-16. I didn’t want to invade his privacy, but the images showed characters that look seriously young. (He is 18) Is this normal? I am in no way an anime connoisseur so I feel that I may be missing helpful input on the issue. If anyone can bring me any insight this would be much appreciated.
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2023.05.28 07:44 eNYC718 All in polish..before or after paint correction?
Need advice when to use an all in one polish
I have a pearl white tri coat paint on my SUV..im noticing a lot of brown rusty looking spots all over, even on the plastic bumpers.
I have a few rock chips I'm going to fill in. My plan is to fitst obv wash the car, use fall out remover -Adam's brand. Wash it off and repeat just incase.
Prep the rock chip spots lightly sanding with 1500 grit for the ones that still have visible rust if needed with qtip coverd sand paper..if not, clean with alcohol. Fill in with the paint kit (Dr color chip) and follow their directions.
I have some light scratches here and there and live in NYC so I figured why not buff and give it a shine( Chem guys all in one) and add a layer of protection, if this product even adds protection.
I have a milwaukee random orbital polisher, and 3 Chem guys pads white black orange. Thinking of using medium/ orange pad.
Do I have the order of operation correct? I'm worried the all in one might F up the paint correction. Or should i fill in the rock chip spots last?
Last thing, Going forward if I wanted to throw a coat of wax every 6 months or so on it, is there a good guide to follow? I stopped by autozone and seen a meguier wax that had diff stages to it and didnt understand if i need all of them or just one. Dude working there didn't know either. There's so many options and types of wax, it's throwing me off. I just want to add a layer of protection from all the sap/salt and protect from rust as much as I can.
Thanks in advance!
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2023.05.28 07:44 PPPRCHN A Not-so-many-headed Problem+Panic Buttons (homemade OC fanfiction just for you!)
These are my beginner fanfictions! I tried to keep these as congruent with the portrayed personalities/actions of Overlord(tm).
The first is set sometime around the Re-Estize Kingdom destruction, while the second is set right after Pestonya and Nigredo get released from Ice Prison.
These feature Mare, Pestonya, and Cocytus mostly.
Please enjoy them!
The shadow demon whispered into Ainz' "ear" which was met with a heavy sigh. He had grown tired of this fight, his enthusiasm for the following battle was sapped- all due to a certain individuals' actions.
"I tire of this. Cocytus, do as you will."
Cocytus thumped his chest with the pride not only of being chosen by Ainz-Sama but at the incoming chance to prove his worth to his God.
"Yes! Ainz. Sama. Will. I. Be. Providing. Back. Up. For. Your. Commands?"
Ainz propped his chin on a knuckle, and with a regal wave of his hand stated his decree.
"This war is with truly worthless, as well as anything that might be here. Truly worthless creatures." A chill seeped over the ground as Cocytus and the other retainers within the splendorous tent realized- Ainz-sama was angered by the Individuals' previous actions. The chill spread through their feet and crawled up their backs, like a horrid ghost which wished to whisper sweet nothings of despair into your ear. Slowly, it retracted, yet all in the tent continued to shiver. Such was the wrath of a Supreme Being. "Except for "that individual" do as you must, this was a waste of time. Everyone you shall be placed under Cocytus' direct orders as needed- assist him as you must."
Ainz-sama leaned deeper into his fist, lost in thought and perhaps tired from having to deal with this skirmish- far beneath need to waste his time. Cocytus and the other retainers bowed and briskly left the room. Walking with pride- Cocytus was trailed by footsteps, one step of clicking heels behind him drew his notice.
Albedo, the Overseer of Nazarick gently but firmly gripped one of his arms causing him to stop in his tracks.
"I apologize for touching you, but I don't need to exp-"
Cocytus waved two of his opposite arms, opposite from Albedos' retreating grasp.
"It. Need. Not. Be. Said." Cocytus puffed out "To. Not. Only. Waste. Ainz. Samas'. Precious. Time. But. To. Also. Not. Even. Reach. The. Standards. To. Meet. His. Expectations. Is. Worthy. Of. Eradication."
The other retainers- the Floor Guardians nodded to his statement in agreement.
Shalltear piped up" Ahhh~ We don't even need to show them true despair, this will simply be an execution." With a shake of her head and an expression which read "It can't be helped."
With resolve tempered, Cocytus began his task.
The Hydra was a creature well known not only in Yggdrasil, but in the New World as well. Capable of casting not only magic of the 5th tier, but sometimes able to cast martial abilities. This was, however, entirely dependent on the luck of said hydra from birth. They could have anywhere from 7-9 heads and each could be skilled in magic or martial abilities, what it knew however was random- one could cast up to 2nd Tier but another on the same body could cast 5th tier. Its' heads would act in unison, with a "main head" being chosen by one which displayed their dominance by fighting the other heads and helped by slight telekinesis which allowed them to sense the leaders' whims.
Pelgraya-Nurm was proud of her shiny scales, which she frequently rehydrated to keep their glistening texture possibly to appear alluring to the humans. Their approval was below her, but who wouldn't appreciate praise no matter how insignificant. She shook her golden brown mane, large and fluffy she would easily be lauded by these humans as the softest cuddling partner if only she was nicer. She was not however.
Pelgraya-Nurm was different however, instead of heads it had been born with a plethora of arms. These arms, while not adept at martial kills, could cast 6th tier spells and along with improved dexterity, she could wield weapons if needed. This could be the reason she was cast out and viciously chased off by her kith and kin, probably not wanting the weakness a mutant would bring. She also had a talent, for mana, which increased her mana regen by absurd amounts the lower her mana. She was currently leading the contingent of her mercenary group which while called "The City Guard" were nothing more than thugs.
Pelgraya-Nurm had taken a name in part of jealousy of dragons (but partially from being shunned by her kin) but also to make her stand out among humans. While she easily towered over humans, however, the creatures she saw across from the battlefield shook her even now and made her feel insignifigant. She looked to her adjutant, Papaya, an elf she had bought to handle any affairs of human relations.
"Papaya" Pelgraya-Nurm muttered "What is that contingent of undead? Why have we not heard of such a thing before?"
Papaya rocked with her masters' obvious displeasure.
"I-i'm not sure. We haven't heard anything from scouts or even from the kingdom- they simply appeared P-Pelgraya-sama."
Papaya was consequently splattered across the floor, nearby soldiers, and part of the wall Pelgraya-Nurm was stationed on. Wicking off her claws with a flick of the wrist, she voiced her displeasure.
"You can all be replaced, you are nothing to me. I own you." Pelgraya-Nurm stated matter-of-factly. Simply put, this was how Hydras' and even most monsters behaved- rule of the strong. However, this was not usually the case for humanoids. They had "laws" and "good samaritism" they usually reacted negatively to being pasted onto their nearby surroundings.
Out of the corned of her eye, Pelgraya-Nurm saw a twisting of her humongous shadow- a small offshoot which seemed to sputter and slink off. Only for a second, she must have been seeing a trick of the light. She turned towards her opponents and grinned, they stood no chance.
Across the battlefield, after being reported to by that shadow demon, someone stamped the seal which would seal their fate.
Cocytus had prepared a map of the village they stood before, which had been prepared by the shadow demons beforehand. It was largely unremarkable, but being a ragtag mercenary group this could easily be all of their mustered forces. The shadow demons hadn't been scouting for long but they would more than likely bring forth confirmation to this point. Cocytus would not be swayed by this, already tempered by previous expectations.
"Shalltear. May. I. Leave. Mopping. Up. Escaping. Troops. Or. Those. Running. Away. To. You?"
With a dainty curtsy, Shalltear silently left with an expression of relish. Now, what to do about showing the true wrath towards someone who wasted the precious Supreme Ones' infinite mercy of a quick death?
"Do. We. Have. The. Troops. Ready?"
"Yes, Cocytus. I have a suggestion to showing off our Supreme Ones' beauty in rule." Demiurge responded with a slowly growing grin.
Then. I. Shall. Leave. That. To. You."
Pelgraya-Nurm was the first to hear it. A slow repeating stomp followed by a short break and then repeating. It quickly grew and inversely morale quickly shriveled.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
This continued for a short while, as the undead which comprised the enemy forces- stomped in time, a truly jaw-dropping event. Undead could be coordinated so? In this number? Pelgraya-Nurm was growing uneasy, her surrounding contingent had long passed this.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
The undead knelt and bowed, all centered on the tent in the distance. A chill was growing like a pillar of ice in the human army. No longer centered around Pelgraya-Nurm, but on this unknown force which had appeared.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
The army split neatly in two as the undead smoothly, rised, slid away from the center, and resumed kneeling. A golden embroidered flag, with a black seal upon the purple midnight fabric. It slowly approached the middle grounds between the two armies and assumed a straight backed stance.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
It began hoisting the flag straight up on every stomp, down in between. With a voice unnaturally loud for a sinle creature to have- and to be heard over such a distance. A voice which while holding a degree of self-importance rasped with the clear hatred for the living. It interrupted between the stomps.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
This continued until they saw creatures slowly walk from both sides of the army, chilling them to the bone even more somehow. Towering, black, and wielding swords in twisting patterns with paired great shields. Adorned with red veins which pulsated and seemed to draw the viewer into their grisly visage, a face which begged for them to approach and be rent. Death Knights.
These creatures lumbered in a roundabout number as the contingent shuddered in fear, no doubt a rout was being concocted simultaneously by these non-connected creatures. As the realization dawned on them for what was happening- they were being boxed in. Those horrid creatures had spaced themselves enough to easily be able to catch them if any tried to run.
It was a do-or-die situation. And if they got resurrected it might just be a die-or-die situation. Suddenly, gripping her superiority and strength- Pelgraya-Nurm commanded these rowdy people together.
"We have no chance of running, this is truly ride or die! Keep them at bay and I'll blast them to death!" she smirked despite her creeping fear.
The soldiers prepared themselves, maybe some of them would make it out alive if they fought to either their teeth or nails.
Shalltear skipped along the streets, a strong undead following in tow. It was called a Living Hunter, an undead of the 50s level. It hungered for the living as its' name foretold, it however was adequately skilled for this task. It grew stronger in proportion to the living around it, which increased the radius of those included which could swell to absurd ranges depending on deployment. As well as that, it grew faster movement speed and attack speed the longer it chased an individual living creature. It towered over its surroundings and it could be slowed by those running into or hiding in buildings. This was also tempered by the fact it was sometimes unable to control itself from brutally devouring victims alive in brutal and sadistic fashions. While it could be a dangerous foe for attackers, it could easily be countered by simply sending in weak merc. NPCs to distract it or, even simpler just having a tank which had any taunt skill to constantly reset their passive.
Shalltear had been dragging along several human corpses in one hand while her umbrella was twirled in the other, snacks- not for her of course. They had easily accomplished their task, Living Hunter chasing stragglers and scaring people while Shalltear threw rocks to smash them into pieces. While its disgusting nature could never be mistaken for cute, the growl it made was of pleading. Shalltear stopped in place, sighed in an exaggerated manner, and spun with a childish waggle of her finger said-
"I GUESS you receive a treat for your good work.."
-she smiled and tossed corpses up to the Undead Hunter not unlike how one would toss treats to their pet dog. It snapped them up and smashed them like balloons between its teeth, chewing them up as if relishing a delicious piece of bubblegum.
"Gruuuu..!" it rumbled, shaking the surroundings.
"Okay, you continue with the pincer attack while I watch over this city, arinsu~."
It lumbered off as Shalltear sauntered up a walls buttressed stairs, before shortly perching herself to watch the ensuing battle, kicking her feet, and cutely twirling her umbrella.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
Suddenly, it stopped. Jolting the mercenaries to attention. The undead chanter turned itself to the side and took steps back. A towering creature stepped forth from the tent and walked down the alley towards them.
As a slow frost gently billowed forth from the enemy side, the soldiers teeth began clacking. Pelgraya-Nurm, being cold-blooded, especially. The creature walked forth, eyes glinting in the dwindling sunlight and planted itself where the chanter had been. It slammed its weapons- a giant curved sword with a long hilt, a halberd, and an oddly small thin blade. The halberd and large sword had their hilts planted in the crackling, dry earth.
Silence. No one dared breath. The battlefield had shrunk and the contingent realized this. They were audibly shaking now, armor clinking over armor. Pelgraya-Nurm moved to say something was cut off by a shriek from behind them. A shriek which sounded like souls whining to be realsed from eternal torment.
Rubble came crashing down around them, slushing some of them and maiming others. Pelgraya-Nurm was struck by a huge chunk of wall directly in the face as she looked up, knocking her out cold. She was unable to witness the creature which had crumbled the walls from behind like a child might crush a graham cracker in their hands. It lurched over, so close it could look some of them face to face. It rasped a disgusting swathe of undead stench over them and seemingly chuckled. It- counter to its' size, grasped several soldiers with its armored mitts and tossed them into the air. The resulting crunch of the bone heralded the beginning to the skirmish.
As the undead began marching towards them, their attention was diverted between the encroaching mass of dead and the fact this creature summarily had grasped Pelgraya-Nurm and slowly dragged her with them. Their trump card removed, they were finished in barely ten minutes.
Pelgraya-Nurm awoke slowly, her vision blurry and ear-holes ringing.
"????? ??????? ?? ??? ????..." something murmured. She did not know or care whether this was directed at her, and she was focused on simply getting up and wreaking havoc among these filthy peasants. She toppled over, due to her weight and a force pushing her down.
"??! ??? ????? ? ??? ?????? ??? ? wonder ?? sama ??? ???????? ?? ?????" failed to breach her head and report anything communicable to her brain. She was slowly coming to and realized she was surrounded.
A silver haired thing, a creature in orange vestment, and the tall white thing from before.
"Waking ??? ?? ???? ?. Good. ??? ?? ?? begin."
The silver-hair and white- thing stood with smug(?) looks (she had never cared to learn human expressions) as the orange-suit walked forward.
"How would you ???? do this?" the orange-ones' movement was making her dizzy again, however she had the upper hand- quickly she cast a [Silent Magic: Ultra Fireball] in a deft motion. Before that she was struck across the head which sent her reeling and slightly rolling. The fuzziness returned-
"No." orange-suit said, muffled by her newly made brain fog.
"A bit gentler ???? ?????? Ainz-sama ???? ???? this one ??? all." the silver-hair piped up
"Indeed. It. Will ????. ?. ??????. Prize. For. ???. Ainz. Sama. ????. It. Would. Seem. ???. ?. ??????. Bauble." white-thing responded.
Her vision returning, she weakly lifted her head and was promptly struck again- she had been bitch-slapped. It wasn't as forceful as before, which allowed her to go all out and cast [Maximize Magic: Ultra Fireball], [Maximize Magic: Magic Arrow], and [Maximi-
She was bitch slapped once.
She was bitch slapped twice.
She was bitch slapped a third time.
Her head was whipped around comically with the applied beatings.
"????. ??. ????. ???. Awaits." the white-thing stated
"??????." the silver-hair responded
"??. ??? ????? ????." the orange-suit concurred.
Pelgraya-Nurm was gripped by her throat as she was recovering from this. The orange-thing gripped her throat with a single thing, threatening to crush her windpipe. Slowly she started being dragged along behind them, at a brisk pace. The cobblestone of the city around her and the subsequent rocky ground, for the first time hurt as she was roughly dragged along it.
She struggled, and was thrown onto the ground and bitch-slapped again, gripped by the throat, and dragged along again. This continued two more times, but Pelgraya-Nurm was exhausted, not only from her large size' energy need, the beatings, and an unknown exposure to the sunlight. She felt weak and the fight left her. She was dragged along the long, slow, path towards that tent.
They finally arrived in front of the tent and she was again slammed into the ground, this time in a much harder throw. The wind and tears were knocked from her, the ground cracking underneath this crushing blow. The white-thing, silver-hair, and orange-suit all prostrated themselves towards the tent. An encroaching fear was growing over Pelgraya-Nurm and she bowed her head to the ground (again, partly from exhaustion and the beatings).
"Ainz-sama! We have brought this disgusting specimen before you as you have asked!" the three spoke in unison. Pelgraya-Nurm understood. Ainz Ooal Gown was not a country or a simple fief but someone these things bowed before.
As the aforementioned one fluttered the tent flap open, a finely decorated skeleton thing- followed by a demi-angel(?). Fear pierced her through like a harpoon, and felt as if it was being pulled through her guts. She openly shook and hoped maybe since they had brought her forth, they might allow her to at least live. Undead were known to hate the living, but maybe since this one surrounded itself by the living it would be merciful.
Ainz flapped open the tent, and was greeted with Demiurge, Shalltear, and Cocytus. He received their gift of this prisoner-of-war, and consequently praised their efforts. This praise made them seemingly shiver with delight. But to Pelgraya-Nurm, it was unnoticed- she was too focused on this one called "Ainz."
"A-Ainz-sama?" She spat up as she pressed her head into the head indent she had made earlier. "I-"
Ainz sliced his hand horizontally as if to cut her in twain.
"Silence." it commanded.
She began tearing up, how could fate deny her strength. She had made herself a slowly growing land, full with servants, and glory to her. Why had this thing come here? Why her?
"To viciously murder ones followers, loyal beings- is a sin I cannot abide. To do so, is to be scum of the worst kind. I do not normally do this, but I shall relish this. Cocytus lift her."
Before she could run, white-thing grabbed her by the forehead and lifted her straight up. This painful grip denied her any chance to pull free, her large body squirming halfways upon the ground. Her arms pulled and scraped the ground and attempted to pull herself free by pushing against Cocytus. She was like a child being lifted by the leg, helpless against her coming doom.
Ainz flicked his wrist and a magic circle appeared before his bony hand. With that he made a faux-gripping motion and she could no longer move her body and some of her arms. It felt like she was truly being gripped within his grasp. Her arms now flailed uselessly and she screamed and cried as she too flailed. Her last thought was that she had never found a mate, maybe a human HAD been her only chance.
With that flick of the wrist, she was summarily twisted around, multiple times, in a quick clockwise turn. Cocytus' grip being the axis of this sickly pirouette, evoking the look of a ballroom dance. Cocytus subsequently dropped the head.
"Send it to be picked clean, and Living Hunter to patrol."
Much later, after confirming everything was razed and destroyed- the Living Hunter gleefully engorged itself among the feast of the battlefield.
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2023.05.28 07:39 holy_vermin95 THE COMPLETE LORE OF SLEEP TOKEN
The complete lore of Sleep Token (as I see it). Bear in mind this is after a sudden urge to understand the lore and create a timeline of events. I know many of y'all have been doing this longer, this is just my interpretation of the timeline assuming every song is in sequence.
As I've said before in another post, I see the story of Sleep Token as the redemption story of Vessel (the character) who is being punished by some unknown force through a deity named Sleep. Sleep is unaware of this and just sees Vessel as "another vessel" to feast on and ruin, but because Vessel is stronger and wants to improve he breaks free by the end of TMBTE with a new outlook on life. So I'll be interpreting the story with that in mind. Here's the story:
- "Thread the Needle" - (Sleep -> Vessel) Sleep seduces Vessel for the first time, and already starts to take control of Vessel's mind by making time dilate. They offer Vessel someone to confide in, and to erase his past mistakes with. "Bury me inside this labyrinth bed" just signifies Vessel going to sleep.
- "Fields of Elation" - (Vessel) Vessel's perspective as he succumbs to Sleep for the first time. He's "losing faith in their time apart" and thinks "nobody else can pull him out" of his past mistakes. This in my opinion makes Vessel much more complex than I imagined. Yes, Sleep is a malicious force that devours souls and feasts on vulnerable people by manipulating them, but Vessel also only values Sleep because they make him feel better about his past. They both do not value one another and are only with each other to serve themselves. The foundation of a toxic relationship.
- "When the Bough Breaks" - (Sleep -> Vessel) Sleep begins to gaslight Vessel. They tell him he's powerless without them and makes him feel bad about himself saying he "doesn't love, just hates to be alone" so he'll be scared and never leave. Sleep also does not believe Vessel is devoted to them and repeats the line "don't lie to me" probably in response to what Vessel says in "Fields of Elation" about Sleep being the only one to pull him out and how devoted he is to them. They also expand on how great they would be together.
- "Calcutta" - (Vessel -> Sleep) This EP came a year after the last one so this song just serves as an update to everyone getting everyone up to speed on Vessel and Sleep's relationship without adding any new significant events. Vessel just gushes over Sleep and tells them how they make him feel whole.
- "Nazareth" - Probably the darkest song in their entire catalog. As Sleep was skeptical of Vessel's devotion to them before, Vessel aims to prove his devotion by torturing and inflicting pain to his past lover (whom he probably already treated wrong considering his "past mistakes" that he seeks to overcome the guilt of with Sleep, this is a huge leap but let's call her Eden). The constant use of "load the gun", "I'll show you what you look like from the inside", and "See if she can guess what a hollow point does to a naked body" show that Vessel intends to shoot her, and I believe he does. Sleep now believes Vessel.
- "Jericho" - (Sleep) This song is basically Sleep just boasting after finally acquiring Vessel as a... well, vessel. They talk about how they "dine on old encounters" before telling Vessel he is completely under their thumb and tells him to "say their name again". This song also seems to be frantically skipping between Vessel and Sleep. "My hands are not worthy" is Vessel reflecting what he's done while Sleep boasts about their victory and control over Vessel.
III. JAWS - (Vessel -> Sleep) Now that Vessel and Sleep are entangled, Vessel asks Sleep to show him love by eating him. Now it is unclear whether this is what Vessel truly likes or if Sleep makes him believe that, but either way this is what Sleep wanted so they're okay with it. There's many more times Vessel asks Sleep to "take a bite" of him and many more references to vorarephilia (even a song called "Vore") so maybe Vessel just wants that.
IV. "The Way that You Were" - (Vessel -> Eden) This songs seems to be about Vessel reminiscing about Eden perhaps talking to her in a dream (considering they're probably not on speaking terms after he literally shot her). Eden is a very troubled soul, with repeated patterns of self harm, and Vessel has an imaginary conversation with her talking about it. Vessel shows no remorse for how he treated her and does not comfort her in any way, showing he has a long way to go for his redemption (in "Are You Really Okay?"). He just says all these things in a very stoic fashion.
- "The Night Does Not Belong To God" - (Vessel) Again like "Calcutta" this song serves as a way to get us up to speed on Vessel and Sleep's relationship. Sleep comes to Vessel when he um, falls asleep and talks to him then. Vessel sees this as pure bliss as he repeats "the night comes down like heaven". Vessel also knows Sleep "will not be his" which acts as foreshadowing for the rest of the album as he slowly realises Sleep does not care about his well being and is with him only for their own selfish interest.
- "The Offering" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel offers himself up to Sleep and is fully devoted to them. More references to vorarephilia with "take a bite."
- "Levitate" - (Vessel -> Sleep) As Vessel thinks about why Sleep is so distant with him he tries to empathise with Sleep and considers that maybe Sleep themselves are hurt, but of course they aren't. Vessel offers Sleep comfort and reassurance that he can "lift them up" but secretly knows they will "levitate where he can't reach them". He knows Sleep is unattainable and only comes to him when they want something from him.
- "Dark Signs" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel reflect on his childhood briefly before admitting that he saw red flags when he and Sleep met. He "misses the man he was" and "hates who he's become" under the influence of Sleep. He does so "every time he wakes up" further suggesting this. Even though he wasn't a great man before he met Sleep, he is noticeably worse now.
- "Higher" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel realises his relationship with Sleep is worse for him in the end. They are "killing him slow", and he is "granting them more than the debt that he owes" meaning he is giving Sleep much more than he owes them, but he is still committed and believes every battle they have will take them "higher".
- "Take Aim" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel realises Sleep does not have his best interests in mind and "led him on when the moment was perfect", but he's not ready to give up on the relationship, he's still bargaining.
- "Give" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel implores Sleep to be open with him and tell him they comfort him and he wants to do the same.
- "Gods" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel is driven to the brink and in a fit of rage reflects on what he is and what (perhaps) Sleep has made him. He questions Sleep and asks if they like the way their relationship feels.
- "Sugar" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Despite all the doubts he had, Vessel relapses hard into his infatuation with Sleep. He knows Sleep is toxic but romanticizes his situation, and he sees himself putting his feelings away and clinging onto the relationship as "not giving up".
- "Say That You Will" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel desperately tries to have a conversation with Sleep and says he knows they're "planning to leave in the end" but wants them to tell him pretty lies and is willing to compromise even at the expense of his own well being.
- "Drag Me Under" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel falls deeper into the toxic relationship believing they are meant to be, and implores Sleep to drag him further into the relationship.
- "Blood Sport" - (Vessel) This song summarises the revelations Vessel has had throughout the course of the album. He wants Sleep to open up to him, he knows his love is unrequited, but he's willing to stay at his own expense. This is also the first time the relationship between Sleep and Vessel is given a chemical connotation, suggesting that it's a much deeper connection. Vessel breaks down crying at the end of the song, feeling helpless.
VI. THIS PLACE WILL BECOME YOUR TOMB
- "Atlantic" - (Vessel) Vessel wakes up in a hospital after a failed suicide attempt, perhaps to sever his connection with Sleep, and is talked through the damage. He begs to not be woken up and slowly falls back into Sleep's grasp throughout the course of this album.
- "Hypnosis" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel implores Sleep to once again lift him out, and offers himself to them despite knowing how much it affected him. "The Offering" was the same but he did not know, this song is sadder because he is helpless even after knowing and offers himself up to Sleep the exact same way.
- "Mine" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel believes the relationship is destined to be and that no matter how much he tries to distance himself with Sleep, they'll surely cross paths again. He lies to himself more to make himself feel okay instead of facing the truth.
- "Like That" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel is once again reminded of how toxic the relationship is and asks how Sleep is okay with doing this to him asking if they "like that". He knows he is one of many previous victims. He is aware of his inability to let go no matter you how badly Sleep treats him.
- "The Love You Want" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel tries to have a conversation with Sleep, believing they saw something in him the time they met, and tells them he's still the same person but he knows he'll never be who they want.
- "Fall For Me" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Continuing from the previous song, Vessel desperately implores Sleep to "fall for him" again, because that's what he has convinced himself to believe that was.
- "Alkaline" - (Vessel) Vessel is infatuated again and can't explain it, even though he knows Sleep is changing him. He refuses to do anything about it, because he enjoys the ride. More chemical references.
- "Distraction" - (Vessel) Vessel realises he's past the point of no return and it's "too late for him" he's fallen in too deep into him relationship with Sleep.
- "Descending" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel is actually very stern with Sleep and says things for what they are for the the first time.
- "Telomeres" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel seemed really convinced on the previous track but now he's back to romanticizing his relationship and acknowledges that Sleep provided him comfort. This part of the album is very confusing as Vessel changes his mind about the relationship with every song. The way I see it is him trying to make sense of the relationship. He feels conflicted.
- "High Water" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel chooses to ignore his own doubts about the relationship again, even though he knows it's not the best for him.
- "Missing Limbs" - (Vessel -> Eden) Vessel has another imaginary conversation, probably a dream talking to Eden saying he still loves her and his relationship with Sleep is losing its allure.
VII. TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN
- "Chokehold" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Again, this serves as an update for us setting the scene, Vessel is still firmly in Sleep's grasp.
- "The Summoning" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel talks about how his relationship with Sleep is and he presents it in a very romantic way like they were destined to be together. Even though throughout the course of the album he finds the strength to move on from Sleep.
- "Granite" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel says things for what they are again and seems very empowered. Like he's finally seeing the relationship from the perspective of an outsider and for what it is.
- "Aqua Regia" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel talks more about his relationship with Sleep but wants to move on ("and I am done dancing to alarming bells").
- "Vore" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel feels his vorarephilic urges again and wishes to be "swallowed whole" by Sleep, but he acknowledges that he is suffering and asks Sleep if they are "in pain like he is".
- "Ascensionism" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Much like "Granite", Vessel is very empowered here. He no longer feels helpless and asks Sleep to "watch him ascend". He fully acknowledges that Sleep "makes him wish he could disappear". It's taken him so long to fully admit that.
- "Are You Really Okay?" (Vessel -> Eden) Vessel fully confronts Eden about her self harm and begs her to not hurt herself again. He feels empathy for others and slowly transforms into a better person.
- "The Apparition" (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel asks Sleep why they are never real and why they leave every time he awakes, but he also wants to nihilistically "make trouble in the dream world" because "this could be the last time" suggesting that he wants to move on.
- "DYWTYLM" (Vessel -> himself) Throughout his life and throughout the course of his relationship with Sleep, Vessel has dealt with an immense amount of self hatred and can't even smile at himself in the mirror. This song is really sad but it also shows Vessel's willingness to heal from his trauma and become a better person and learn to love himself instead of just escaping and running away from his problems like he used to.
- "Rain" (Vessel) Vessel acknowledges how much he has changed, perhaps with Sleep or just from the time he was born when he was a good person and he asks an unknown force to cleanse him of his sins. This force isn't Sleep at this point because Vessel is pretty clear about moving on.
- "Take Me Back to Eden" (Vessel -> Sleep) This is the final time Vessel addresses Sleep and it's a huge tribute to Sleep, without whom he would not have improved, but he also acknowledges the toxicity of the relationship but in a mature way. He looks back at the journey he has had and has a mature outlook on it, he was treated badly by Sleep, but he was also bad, and he's ready to move on.
- "Euclid" (Vessel) In the aftermath of it all, Vessel is ready to shed his former self and become someone new. He calls back to "The Night Does Not Belong To God" just as a tribute to acknowledge how far he has come and what a journey it has been.
If you've read this far, thank you so much haha! This is my interpretation of just the lyrics of the songs and the story that they tell. I understand that there's much more lore to be found in Sleep Token. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Worship.
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2023.05.28 07:34 Oggy20 Military Ball, 9th of September, 1944
Just like every year on 9th of September, 1944 was no different. Military was, again, organizing a ball to celebrate the foundation of the Republic.
Mark always found this event exciting. He was a staunch republican but that was not the only reason. Ball has always been one of the only activities where high ranking officers sat together and talked to each other in a lightened mood.
He went into the ball room and immediately after, one of the other officers called to him. He was the commander of the 2nd Army, Eric Hill. “Come, Mark. Sit with us.”
Mark saluted and sat down on a chair. The table was crowded with generals, almost everyone here was also a member of the General Staff. A server rushed towards him in order to get his order.
Mark turned towards the waiter and said, “Just water.”
Server nodded and rushed. Eric spoke out;
“You are not staying I assume?”
Mark replied, “No, General. I’m not. We’ve spotted movements on the other side of the Rummish border. My division is currently investigating the issue. I’ll depart for Narbel in a few hours.”
Eric nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "I see. Duty calls, as always. It's a shame you won't be able to stay and enjoy the festivities, Mark. But I trust your judgment when it comes to matters of national security."
Mark nodded solemnly. "Thank you, General. It's unfortunate timing, but our duty to protect the Republic must always come first. I'll do everything in my power to ensure the safety of our borders."
As the server returned with Mark's glass of water, he took a sip and continued, "We've been monitoring the Rummish border closely for any signs of aggression. It seems tensions have been escalating recently. Have you received any specific intelligence regarding the movements?"
Eric leaned in, his expression serious. "Indeed, Mark. Our intelligence reports indicate that the Rummish forces have been conducting military exercises near the border. It's difficult to determine their exact intentions, but it's clear they're flexing their military might. We cannot afford to underestimate them."
Mark nodded again, his mind already focused on the impending mission. "I understand, General. I'll make sure my unit is prepared for any possible scenarios. We cannot afford to let our guard down."
Another officer, General Roberts, interjected, "Mark, I've heard rumors of a potential diplomatic solution to ease the tensions. Do you think there's any truth to that?"
Mark glanced at General Roberts, contemplating the question. "It's hard to say, General. Diplomatic solutions are always preferable, but we must be cautious. The Rummish have been known to use diplomacy as a tactic to buy time or gather intelligence. Remember Dome? Everyone thought it was safe and sound until the Rummish took the city overnight. We must remain vigilant and prepared for any outcome."
Eric added, "Indeed, Mark. Diplomacy may be an option, but we cannot rely solely on it. Our military strength and readiness are crucial in maintaining our security and protecting our interests."
Mark nodded in agreement with General Eric's statement. "You're absolutely right, General. Diplomacy can only go so far, and in times of uncertainty, it's our military strength and readiness that ensure the safety and stability of our Republic."
General Roberts, a seasoned veteran, chimed in. "I remember a time during the Battle of Zeharen when we were outnumbered and outgunned. It was a grueling fight, but our determination and the valor of our soldiers turned the tide. We held our ground, pushing back the rebel forces and securing a crucial victory. You were also protecting our northern flank in that battle, Mark. If we fight our battles like we fought in Zeharen, no one will even dare to attack Sordland."
Mark listened intently, his eyes reflecting a mixture of respect and questioning. He surely admired Roberts's patriotism and heroism but have always criticized his 'unrealistic approaches to modern problems'. Mark replied, "It's stories like these, General Roberts, that remind us of the sacrifices and courage displayed by our men and women on the front lines. Their unwavering dedication and bravery make us proud to serve alongside them. But we must also remember that not only bravery can win a fight. Having a more maneuverable unit with better weaponry has enabled us to shed less Sordish blood while crushing the rebels."
General Hill, known for his experience, shared a more somber tale. "During the Siege of Holsord in the Civil War, I commanded a battalion that was tasked with holding a critical position. We fought tooth and nail, enduring heavy bombardment and relentless assaults. Many lives were lost, and the toll it took on our soldiers was immense. But we held that position, not just for the sake of victory, but for the comradeship and unwavering bond that develops in the face of adversity."
Mark's gaze turned introspective, his mind filled with memories of fallen comrades. "War is a harsh and unforgiving reality, General. It tests the limits of our humanity and challenges our notions of what is right and just. It's our duty as leaders to honor the sacrifices made by those who came before us and strive for a world where peace prevails."
“Do you have any memories to share with us, Mark? You fought in the civil war, were with us in Zeharen and also fought against BFF. I’m sure you have dozens of memories right now.” said General Roberts. Mark Replied;
“Yes, General. But one of them still scratches my mind.” Mark replied and continued, “In Bergia, especially in winter time, BFF return to the mountains like bears going into hibernation. Because as terrorists with no clear pathway between mountains and with very light clothing, it becomes very hard for them to move from hill to hill, mountain to mountain. And in the first days of the spring, they come out from their caves, like bears themselves.”
General Hill laughed and said, “Come on, Mark. We already know how BFF operates.”
Mark smiled and continued, “In that time, while guarding his post in the outskirts of Deyr, one Sergeant Major spotted something with his binoculars, approximately 500 meters away. He noticed that someone was running away from the forest towards an open area with practically no cover. Sergeant noticed that the person he was watching seemed to be short and slender for an adult. Sergeant thinks to himself that it might be a child running, but the way the person is running doesn't seem playful; they are running while looking behind as if they're escaping from something. Then, a larger figure resembling a horse enters the frame from the same forest and starts chasing after the kid. After analyzing the figure for three seconds, the sergeant shouts, "Damn, it's a bear!" and leaves the binoculars, grabs his weapon, and sounds the alarm at his post. Taking three out of the five soldiers from his post and starts to rush towards the location where the child is, firing a shot into the air every hundred meters, alternating between sprints and fast running.”
“At the halfway point, the sergeant sees that the bear catches up to the little girl and claws at her from behind. Then, a horrifying scream pierces through the air.”
“When the gendermaries arrive, the girl lies face down, covered in blood in the snowy mud. She appears to be weakened from the injury and the running while a very aggressive brown bear has bitten her ankle and is shaking its head like a crocodile, trying to tear it off. The girl is also being thrown around in the mud with the force of the bear's shaking. The sergeant quickly realizes the life-threatening danger, shoots the bear with great marksmanship and immediately calls for help on his radio. Fortunately, the gendarmerie vehicle is on patrol nearby and quickly arrives at the scene with its sirens. The sergeant slings his rifle across his back and lifts the girl onto his right shoulder, then starts running towards the main road. Displaying the true valor of a Sordish soldier with a blue beret, he manages to run at a steady pace with the heavily wounded girl on his shoulder for eight minutes uphill, finally reaching the gendarmerie patrol vehicle. He places the girl on the vehicle's floor and jumps inside himself and without even turning off the sirens, they rush towards the state hospital. It should be noted that despite losing a significant amount of blood, the young girl remains conscious. Along the way, the gendarmes try to talk to her, keeping her awake. She says her name is Cassie.”
“Why was the girl there at that time? She thought she could take a shortcut through the forest to the village road and sing a couple more Bludish folk songs before it gets dark. Little did she realize that she would encounter a bear on her way.”
“Upon reaching the emergency room, while the first aid is being administered, Cassie asks for her "big soldier brother" since she is scared of the nurses and doctors. The sergeant, covered in blood and dirt, holding his rifle, takes a seat next to her and tries to comfort her. Meanwhile, the doctors intervene in the open wound. It should be noted again that Cassie has a broken left fibula, multiple abrasions and contusions, her clothes are torn to shreds, and her back is completely exposed. Deep scars, around 45-50 centimeters long can be seen extending from her right scapula to her left kidney. Additionally, there is a severe injury on her ankle. Even though a bear's strike to the back often results in a fatal outcome, she somehow hangs on to life.
“Later, we heard that the girl received a total of 121 stitches. She's doing well and recovering. The entire district gendarmerie is laughing all day because a girl's life was saved. The local Bludish population started calling the sergeant as ‘Ayıboğan’, which refers to the strength of a bear in the local dialect.”
“Every time when I read propaganda posters distributed by BFF that the Gendarmerie and Sordish Armed Forces is a tool fed by the fascist Sollists to silence and enslave the Bludish people, I always think of the sergeant major who left his position and equipment behind and ran an absolute marathon to save the girl's life. Then a question keeps revolving in my mind. What is Sordish Armed Forces and the Gendarmerie truly protects? Just a post, a position with sandbags and heavy weaponry or children like Cassie?”
General Roberts replied, “Children, of course.” all of the table seemed to be agreeing with him, maybe except a few officers. He continued, “What happened to the Sergeant Major?”
Mark replied, “I've given Sergeant Major a commendation for leaving his post in line of duty, a post which he must protect with his life. Because he left his post in order to protect a child, even Bludish, a citizen of this Republic.”
The atmosphere around the table grew more solemn as each general shared their own stories, some glorious, some heart wrenching and some with dilemmas. The clinking of glasses and the distant melodies from the ballroom provided a stark contrast to the weight of their memories.
General Roberts, attempting to lighten the mood, raised his glass and said, "To our fallen comrades and to the unwavering spirit of the men and women who have fought for our Republic!"
The other generals raised their glasses in unison, echoing his sentiment. Mark's eyes met with the others, and in that moment, they understood the gravity of their roles as leaders and the importance of preserving the legacy of those who had fought and sacrificed before them.
As the night continued, the conversation shifted towards lighter topics, interspersed with moments of laughter and camaraderie. They shared stories of triumphs and defeats, of bonds forged in the crucible of combat, and the collective sense of purpose that bound them together.
In that moment, amidst the military ball and the company of fellow generals, Mark found solace and inspiration. He knew that regardless of the challenges ahead, he stood shoulder to shoulder with comrades who shared his commitment and determination to protect the Republic…
submitted by Oggy20
to SordlandRP [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 07:32 feelingstuck15 Why do I get ghosted in online relationships at around the 6 month mark? [34F/35M][35F/29M]
This has now happened to me twice and both times, it left me incredibly hurt and confused.
I met the first guy online and we immediately clicked. We couldn't believe how much we had in common - in terms of upbringing, academic interests, temperament and so much more. Talking to him was so effortless. He felt the same. He once told me that he feels like we go way back, like we've known each other since childhood. It was very intense. We used to talk to each other an hour or more every single day. We kept telling each other how much we loved each other. There were all these heart emojis and telling each other how we missed each other, how we wanted to hug etc. several times daily.
He lived in another country. We kept talking about meeting up and making plans. As time went on, I increasingly felt that he is deliberately sabotaging meeting up. I knew he had serious self-confidence/body image issues, but I didn't realise it was this bad. (Like I remember, when we first skyped I could see his full face on camera as normal, but another time he kept hiding his face, I could only see his eyes. He had a medical condition that affected his appearance but I kept reassuring him about it.)
One day after 6 months of speaking and being affectionate to each other almost every day, he suddenly told me out of the blue that this relationship 'unfortunately didn't go the way he expected'. Alarmed by the past tense, I asked him what he meant by that. He said that he finds it frustrating that in 6 months we haven't managed to meet. I pointed out that he was the one who sabotaged it each time, and he said yeah, he knows. With that, he just disappeared. I kept texting him periodically just to check how he is, but he wouldn't reply and eventually stopped opening my messages altogether. Given his serious confidence/body image issues and general shyness, I very much doubt it that it was about another woman (then again, you never know).
I met the second guy in real life. Unlike the first one, he lived only an hour away from me, so I told myself that this will be a healthier relationship and it will be easier to meet up, etc. Unlike with the first guy, we did meet up a couple of times - although not that often, because he lived in an ultra-religious community and he was always worried about people seeing us, noticing he is gone etc. On the one hand he really wanted things to escalate between us sexually, but on the other hand he was also grappling with his conscience about this. The way we stayed in touch was very similar to the pattern in the first relationship - apart from the few times we met, it was mostly online through messaging platforms. He seemed to have fallen head over heels for me. For 6 months, not a single day went by that we didn't talk. Again, lots of confessions of love, excitement, hour-long phone calls, long chats every day etc. After about 2 months, we had a smaller bump - he confessed that even though he loved me, he wouldn't marry me because I'm not part of his religious community. That was heartbreaking to hear, but we somehow moved on. Then after 6 months, he suddenly stopped texting. If I texted him, it was all rubbish one word replies. I asked him what's wrong. We had already had difficult conversations before (the one about marriage) so I thought we would be able to talk this one out. Wrong. He just said it's not about me and that he is struggling to describe what he is feeling. After a brief period of panic and desperation, I realised that I need to relax and leave him to it - he will come back if he wants to (but probably he won't).
Both of these sudden changes of heart happened around the 6 month mark after we started talking. What is it about the 6 month mark that makes them go all weird? I would appreciate your insight. Many thanks!
submitted by feelingstuck15
to LongDistance [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 07:31 Babixzauda Please help idk what to do
Hopefully this will all make sense. Sorry for any typos.
Jack 12 year old orange Siamese M with kidney disease and FIV
8 year old DSH M
Yuumi 10 week old DSH F
Mimi 9 week old DMH F
All are spayed/neutered.
I got the kittens a week ago. They were in different litters. I got Mimi on the 18th and Mimi on the 20th. Yuumi ended up going to the vet on Tuesday with some bloody yellow diarrhea. She was sent home with Albon and Pyrantel. Her poop came back positive for bacteria but negative for all parasites. They gave me one of the medicines just in case she had a parasite since she was so young and the parasites might have not been fully developed to test positive.
Yuumi has been quarantined from all the cats apart for supervised play time with Mimi. The playtime was approved by the vet. That is partially because they would both scream at the door for each other when I’m home alone with them. When my husband is home, they were separated at night. Mimi with my boys.
Well tonight, Mimi started acting the way Yuumi was when this started. She cried while she dug in the litter box. That alerted me so I looked, and it appears her poop went from a normal poop to a soft yellow, almost what Yuumi’s is now (she’s still recovering).
I’m very conflicted. Should I put Mimi with Yuumi until I get her to the vet on Monday? Or should this be a Sunday vet visit? I’m so worried about Jack because of his existing conditions. However, if it’s nothing to worry about I don’t want to put Mimi at risk of getting what Yuumi has by them sharing water, food, and the litter box until she’s tested at the vet. If you were in my situation, would you continue to keep Yuumi quarantined or would you quarantine Mimi with Yuumi in hopes Jack won’t get it? I already talked to Jack’s vet after I took Yuumi in, and they said they can’t do anything until he presents symptoms. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!
submitted by Babixzauda
to AskVet [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 07:29 purpletruths Bed wetting alarms - is this punishment?
My kid is six in a few days and still floods a pull up overnight, soaked and wet evey night, and wets through to all bedding about 1-2 a week. We’ve seen an incontinence nurse who advised that we’ll definitely need a bed wetting alarm because he’s such a heavy sleeper. We have a generally authoritative approach, and primarily respond to him with positive reinforcement. We don’t punish or make a big deal about his wetting - and are working on getting him awake and on the toilet for his morning pee and slightly restrict fluids before bed. I can’t find the science on the impact of bed wetting alarms and everything I read says it’s not 100% and most kids outgrow night wetting (though I think we’re passed that). My main question is “are bedwetting alarms positive punishment and is this generally seen as a negative thing?”
submitted by purpletruths
to ScienceBasedParenting [link] [comments]