I really like singing, but also really hate my voice. I voice train but I don’t think I’ll ever really be happy until I get vocal surgery. There’s someone near me that does femlar but idk if that’s the best option. I don’t really know the differences between vfs options.

"Nothing ever grows here."
This was a sentiment my father expressed often, referring to a particular plot on the east side of our property, murmuring the words bitterly. No matter what crops he planted there, no matter the attention he gave them, they would either wither and die or grow in a sickly, twisted fashion.
When I was young I watched him work the land and brought him food and water as the sun beat down upon us, dreading the day that he often told me would come- the day I was old enough to toil alongside him.
My interests were books, knowledge, the arts. Things they taught at school, and the more interesting topics I could learn about from Thomas, our neighbor who lived a mile down the road from us. Though he was several grades above me, Thomas was always kind, treating me as one would a younger sibling and entertaining my curiosities. It was from him that I found myself immersed in works of fiction and fantasy, things that my father would glance at and grimace.
"These things aren't meant for people like us, Leroy. No, we weren't dealt a hand to indulge ourselves in the luxury of idle pleasures for men who do not work with their hands."
He never said these things with a tone of anger or resentment, but rather in a measured way, meant to let me understand that he would derive no pleasure in keeping me from my interests or from walking to the school in a few short months. No, he said these things regretfully, wearily. He too, had once dreamed of a life away from his family's struggling farm. The only of his three siblings to survive adolescence, he chose to stay and aid my grandfather after my grandmother passed and he began succumbing to the bottle.
While my father never gave in to such vices, seeing him grow stiffer and harder of breath each day, I knew that I soon would assume the role he had once played for his father. And so I clung to my remaining days of freedom with a feverish fervor.
​
"...and it's entirely made of ice?" I asked, insistent and intrusive at Thomas's side.
"No, it's a continent covered by and surrounded by ice…" he replied distractedly, keeping his eyes on his book as we walked, "The, uh, Vikings found it I think… maybe the Spaniards. It's interesting though, no one owns Antarctica… Besides maybe the penguins."
"The Spanish find everything.”
“Mm. The Nazis went there too. My father told me.”
“Does he ever talk about the war?”
Thomas raised an eyebrow but didn’t look up from the page. His father, Sheriff Russell, patrolled Mt.Harmon with an efficiency that could only have been instilled by combat. Nothing ever happened in our sleepy little town, and he often seemed disappointed by this.
“Does yours?” Thomas replied.
“No. Mostly worries about the Russians these days. ”
“You’d think we’d be tired of war by now, wouldn’t you? And yet we continue to find new and horrifying ways to kill one another. Seems if we invent the weapons we’ll invent a reason to point them at someone.”
“Why do we keep making them then?”
“It’s profitable.”
There was a long pause between us. I decided to change the subject.
"What are you reading?"
"Frankenstein, or; The Modern Prometheus. It's by a woman named Mary Shelley. Gruesome throughout, it's about a monster created by a man who becomes a monster himself… You'd like it, I think. You can borrow it when I'm finished."
“How does one become a monster?”
“Inwardly. You’ll see when you read it. Conversely, the monster begins to appear more human.”
I pondered the meaning of what he had said and we neared a bend in the road. Thomas suddenly stopped in his tracks and dropped Frankenstein to his side. He stared straight ahead, eyes squinting at something through thick coniferous branches. I followed his gaze, finding nothing.
"Do you see that?"
"No…" I whispered. I followed his finger until I was able to see the camouflaged Great Horned Owl roosting there. Its sharp eyes were trained on us.
“How bizarre,” Thomas remarked.
“Not really. That’s one of the most common species of owl in this region.”
“It’s not bizarre that it’s here. It’s bizarre that it’s awake in daylight and that there are so many in one place.”
Taken aback, I realized the forest we were staring into was staring right back at us. Dozens of these owls were scattered throughout the trees.
“Incredible… Enjoy this moment, Leroy. We’ll never see anything like this again.”
We lingered for a while, soaking it in. After a silent agreement was reached that we had appreciated them sufficiently we turned away and journeyed on.
​
“You’re getting better with that,” I noted, watching my father adjust the radio’s dial to his favorite station. He often asked me to tune it for him.
“There is a part of me that still dislikes it greatly. Yet I find myself compelled. It doesn’t do us well to be uninformed.”
The broadcast spoke of the weather. The next week was to be warm, uncharacteristically so for this time of year. To this he grunted, “Figures.”
“How does that figure?”
“Maybe it doesn’t. But it gives me something to blame. Might as well be the weather.”
“And what do you blame on the weather?”
“Whatever you want. It’s the perfect scapegoat.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Let the cat out.”
I journeyed to the porch with the orange creature weaving itself between my feet. It wasn’t our cat, but it was here often enough for us to feel responsible for it. We weren’t sure who it belonged to, if anyone. It scampered out into the night, where a thick fog had settled over the grass. I listened to the chirping of crickets mingle with the muffled chatter of the radio while settling into a creaking rocking chair. The glow from the lamp inside gave off just enough light as I examined the cover before opening Frankenstein, flipping through to see what annotations Thomas had made in his scribbled, slanted way of expressing his thoughts between the printed lines. They always intrigued me as much as the original work. I smiled, returning to the first page.
It was on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils…
​
“...Well, what did you think of Duck and Cover?”
Thomas was clearly excited to discuss the schoolwide atomic weapon safety protocol video we had been shown that morning. I was less than eager to reply. Practicing the drill had left me feeling ill.
“A desk would never save us from an explosion of that magnitude.”
“Clearly.”
“Why not build a bunker?”
Thomas laughed, “It costs money. Besides, would you want to be trapped in a bunker for years until the radiation decays? I’d rather die, frankly, than become a human sardine.”
“Valid…”
“If the government really wanted to make dealing with the aftermath convenient, they’d have us each dig our own grave beforehand. When the alarms blare we would simply lie down in them, and wait.” Thomas crossed his arms over his chest and mimed falling backwards.
I forced the resemblance of a chuckle out of a throat that had constricted.
“You don’t look well.”
“Why should I?” I turned to him, exasperated, “I don’t have a desk at home. Even the illusion of shelter might be nice.”
Thomas softened his voice, “I’m sorry, I was trying to make light of the absurdity of it all… I try not to mention that you’re leaving school. I force it from my mind so often that it sometimes slips away completely.”
“It’s not just that.”
“Then what?”
“...Doesn’t it bother you? To know that there are decisions being made for us? Ones that we do not get a say in- like who to bomb, or being forced to hide under a desk in the face of certain death?” I could feel my eyes beginning to water.
“...Of course it does.”
“And yet you laugh about it?”
Thomas shrugged, “I try to. Sometimes that’s the only option left.”
​
“What was your reasoning in choosing a Chevrolet over a Ford?”
My father was patching a tire, I was pestering him while he worked in the barn.
“Truth be told, I could give a damn about brands, makes or models. They all drive, they all break down, they all require special attention to certain faulty components… I simply needed a truck, and this is the one I could afford the day I was buying.”
“So you don’t ever find yourself admiring a Ford?”
“Sure. The grass is always greener, as they say...”
“And as you say. That's an idiom you use often.”
“Perhaps. I’m a practicing pragmatist.”
“You consider yourself to be a pragmatist?”
“...Should I surmise from your tone that you disagree?"
“I… didn’t say that.”
“Not in so many words.”
A pair of owls hooted rhythmically from somewhere to the east. He placed the tire back on the hub, giving me a stern look before winking at me as he began tightening the bolts to the rim. His point was made and my tongue was tied. He gave a curt nod at my concession and lowered the jack, running his hands across the repaired tread to make certain that no air was escaping. Once he was satisfied that it had been patched successfully he wiped them on his coveralls and stood up, grunting and groaning as his tired limbs protested just as loudly.
When he spoke again his voice had lost some of the sharpness it typically held, “There was another matter I wished to discuss with you before this task took precedence this evening”
“I’m all ears.”
“Tell that to the mouth you’re always running…” he chuckled softly, his usual gruff timbre still absent from this remark, “Leroy, I’ve decided to hire some help around here.”
I stared at him, sizing up the implication of what he’d said.
“Do you forget who manages your finances?” I asked, incredulous, knowing that we didn’t have a quarter to spare.
“That only adds to my point. You are a child, yet you understand these things as well, or perhaps even better, than I.”
“Indeed, which makes your statement even more foolish.”
The gruffness came back to his voice with his response.
“Not at all. There is hope for you yet. You haven’t made the poor decisions I have and tied yourself to this cursed piece of land… Nothing grows here. And what does is meager…”
“...Meaning that you will need my help to succeed.”
“Nonsense. You will be at school for the spring and the fall, and in the summer you will have chores. But I cannot bear keeping you here with me. I will hire help.”
There was a finality to what he had said. A weight had been simultaneously lifted from my shoulders and placed firmly in the air between us. Impenetrable and inarguable. I found my lips trembling.
“Were you ever happy here?”
My question took him aback. He regarded me for a while before he spoke, his voice once again lowered to a softer cadence and volume.
“...I suppose I was for a time. We told ourselves we would return home to a hero's welcome… To parades and medals and our loved ones. And we did… To all the fanfare and the admiration… For what we had done. Who we had killed. The enemy- young men just like us. Scared, tired, hungry, sick men that we were told to kill with distorted reasoning, manipulation, for fear of being called a coward or a traitor… Through similar methods they were coerced to do the same to us. At the end of the day, we were only ever trying to survive, no matter which uniform we wore.”
He leaned against the frame of the Chevy.
“So I was happy to survive… I was happy to return to my infant, my wife…” he sighed heavily, staring down at the ground, “And then she left us... She was not happy here.”
“We… Couldn’t we have gone with her?”
“No,” he shook his head, “No, it wasn’t like that, Leroy… She was- is- a spirit meant to be free. She would have never been happy with us. Perhaps I was a fool for ever thinking that she could be…”
I had never heard him speak of her this frankly. I could see his eyes sadden as memories of their time together flashed through his mind. I nearly regretted broaching the subject.
“She was- she is- a good woman, in her own way,” he concluded, looking back at me.
“...And you are a great man,” I told him.
He rubbed his face with his sleeve, quickly concealing the mist forming in his eyes from my sight. When he lowered his arm he was once again composed.
“And you are a great son, Leroy.”
​
The next morning Thomas was not waiting on the porch for me on the way to school as usual. Instead I was greeted by Sheriff Russell after I knocked on the screen door. Seeing him dressed in a robe and slippers instead of his uniform was oddly disorienting.
"Good morning, Leroy. I'm afraid Thomas has had a fever through the night. His mother believes it best for him to stay in bed for the day. Just getting over mine," he added, seeming to feel the need to justify his attire.
"Oh, well pass it along to him that I hope he feels better soon."
"I'll do that, I'll do just that..." Russell yawned, coffee mug in hand. The sound of bare feet bounding down the steps came from inside and Thomas appeared, looking pale and tired.
“Young man, you ought to be resting!” Darcy poked her head around the corner to half-heartedly scold him.
“I’ll go back up in a minute, Ma, relax!”
Russell scowled at him.
“Did Pop show you this?” he asked, grabbing something off of the kitchen table and pressing it against the screen for me to see.
"Is that what I think it is?"
"Only if you believe it to be a Geiger counter."
“I figured we ought to have a few at the station in case we… Well, you never know these days,” Russell said grimly, “They’ve been giving off odd readings though.”
“Have they been calibrated?”
“Do you really think I didn’t zero them in?” Thomas answered before his father could speak.
“It’s just a question… Were they stored with packets of desiccant? Have you made certain that the ionization chambers have not rusted? That the welds are intact? They will be useless if any air gets inside.”
Thomas looked toward Russell to reply.
“I… don’t know. Well, Leroy, Thomas always told me you were sharp,” Russell said, seeming to have gone from seeing me as a child to an equal in that moment. Darcy reappeared around the corner.
“Thomas, get back in your room and rest!”
He grimaced at her.
“I’ll be better in a day or two,” he grumbled, “I’ll see you then.”
“Feel better. Good to see you, Sheriff,” I said, turning to depart.
“One moment, Leroy,” he called, and I returned to the porch, “Have you ever been to the library in Augusta?”
“No, sir. I’ve never been to Augusta at all.”
“You don’t say? Well, with as much as the two of you read, it occurs to me that it would be a worthy pilgrimage to make. What do you say we all take a trip down once we’ve recovered? I imagine they have a few books in the capitol library that you could never find in our little town.”
“I… I’d love to, Sheriff,” I murmured, flustered by this act of kindness, “I’ll… I’ll ask my father.”
“Good man. And Leroy, you may call me Russell,” he smiled.
​
This was the night that the monster visited me.
It waited until my sheets were soaked in cold sweat and my teeth chattered uncontrollably to make itself known.
It rose out of the darkness, a form that slowly took shape out of billowing shadow. And then it was before me. Massive. Cadaverous. Its suppurating flesh crudely sewn together in multicolored patches.
But worse was its grin. Something so hideous was not meant to express the joy it conveyed from the cruelty of its intentions. Blackened teeth and bloodshot eyes bore into my very essence as the form of Mary Shelley's literary creation was brought to fruition before me. The scream in my lungs would not release itself. It felt as if a great weight had settled over my throat and ribs.
But no, it was the screaming in my ears that made the tapestry of my nightmare begin to fray.
My eyes shot open and the tethers of sleep paralysis released their grip on my limbs.
There it was once more, shrill and agonized, the sound of something suffering in the throes of its final moments before death.
I was on my feet. My door slammed against the wall. My father's door was already open. As I careened down the hallway I was just able to make out his silhouette, a shotgun in his hands.
"Stay here, Leroy," he barked.
A change had come over him. He was no longer the stiff-limbed, patient father I knew. His posture straightened, his voice was callous. He burst into the night, once more a soldier storming into battle. Even in my panic I could not help being awed by the transformation I had witnessed.
A shot fired…
And another.
Then a complete and deafening silence.
I crept to the door, pushing it open just enough to peer out. An impermeable fog clung to the air, making it impossible to make out anything past the porch.
"F-father?"
My toes were on the top step now, slowly inching their way to the damp grass.
Still. Silent.
"Dad?!"
The owls began hooting and the crickets started up their chatter once more. Altogether, the creatures around seemed to release a breath they had held collectively. Even the fog relinquished its grip on my vision.
I could just make out his slumped form. My feet slapped against the cold earth as I sprinted my way toward him, anticipating the worst.
"Dad, are you okay? Dad!"
Then he was on his feet once more, gripping me by the waist and hoisting me up.
"There is nothing for you to see, Leroy... Nothing at all. Close your eyes, son. Please, close your eyes…"
Despite the desperation and sincerity in his voice my curiosity got the better of me. I squinted through my eyelids, just able to make out the pile of scattered limbs through my lashes. I forced bile back down my throat and clenched my eyes tightly, shocked to find myself wishing to return to the nightmare that had awoke me.

MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
INTRODUCTION
Hello there! My name is Siddharth Rai and I live in India. I am a twenty-six-year-old male and I live with my parents. I work at the nearby airport as an electrical engineer. I have a younger sister who is studying zoology in a college nearby and she lives away from us due to her college. My writing style might not be appealing but I would be happy if you read and reviewed my article. It will help me get new interesting things to you. I hope you enjoy reading this.
I have always wanted to write a book. I like to write poems, I like music, I like art and I like to travel. I have never travelled out of my country except to Nepal. Nepal is quite nearby to where I live. I live in the eastern India, Darjeeling. Some of you might have heard or visited the place before. I live in the foothills though- Siliguri but the district is Darjeeling. I have spent around thirteen years of my life in Darjeeling. I miss those golden days that I have spent with my family and friends in Darjeeling. Those days will never come back again. It is a beautiful pain. All the crazy things that we do as teenagers, I did it in Darjeeling- fighting, having girlfriends, forming a band, roaming around the streets- everything. Some of the people I met on the streets are now superstars and some homeless vagabonds. Some are married and some committed suicide because they couldn’t love. I am just a regular guy like you. I think I am below average when it comes to money, prestige, personality and many other things that define us- a lifestyle.
The reason I thought about writing this article is because I want to become a better person as I am approaching towards my thirties. I have heard somewhere that writing makes it easier and effective to do something that we want to do. I hope this article will help you in some way or the other. I will share some of the deepest things that I feel. I will talk about my past. I will let you know about my present and I will also try to show you the future that I have visioned for myself. I will be talking about my personality development.
PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT
We have often heard about the word personality. We have often heard about one getting complimented for their personalities and sometimes people finding their personalities not matching with others, mostly to their partners. It’s interesting to see us being conscious about so many things in our lives. Our beauty, physique, clothes, status in the society, possessions, partners and other small things like our fear of facing people, inferiority, pride, love, attachment. Well personality is a sphere where all of the conscious things are confined into.
It is the way we react to the factors that make us feel something- good or bad. Feeling good includes many things- paragliding, completing a trek, listening to classical music, releasing a music video. Feeling bad might feel like thinking about the moment that hurts you- could be anything, you know better.
How are you going to react to the situations-now and then? That defines your personality. If you ask the instructor for your money back after a paragliding session because you couldn’t fly for another ten minutes because of the weather then you need to work on some parts of your life and if you left your girl with the man and her friends just because you missed the party the previous night then you need to work on some part of your life- you might be using your head too much. I am worried about how am I going to handle a relationship in the future because I’ve messed up my previous ones- I need to work on some part of my life. My personality is not balanced.
Personality is a gift- a box of chocolates- it’s tasty but harmful if eaten too much.
THAT’S HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
It was the last day of 2017 and my girlfriend had come to Siliguri with her friends. I had my aunt come over from a distant place and we had to go visit our relatives, so I was caught up with my family. My girlfriend called me and told me that she was around in the market with her friends and some unknown person gave them a lift back home. I told her to be cautious around and we agreed to meet the next day. Late night she told me how she missed me, and she went to sleep early that night. I thought she was cheating on me, and I sent her some rubbish texts. Cool- the night passed quite fast.
I went to meet her the very next morning just to see a guy in their apartment. He was my old friend. She told me that he had just arrived. And he looked like he had just woken up. Good! She treated me like a kid, and I know I was in the wrong place with wrong people. She tried to be herself, but I didn’t feel her. In my mind I was constantly thinking about she is cheating on me. I left the place early and booked two tickets for me and her to get back home. They came late. I had to travel with them. This guy had a car. An unknown man giving them a lift back home, sleeping early, not wanting to go home with me- I was hurt and mad. I wanted to break up already. But I waited because I wasn’t sure if it was the right reason to leave her. So, I waited and just after two months I saw her with a different guy. This time she had come to visit me, but I went to play basketball with my friends because she wanted to have some time with her cousins. Well, I was late by a couple of hours, and she called up her friend and had him over as a company- this guy was the one whom she met when we had a fight back in 2016. Her friend had introduced them to each other- her friend who wanted her to break up with me because I was a needy, passive and a childlike boyfriend- who always was insecure, quarrelling and a noob. This friend of hers was the one whom I admired back in high school.
We broke up January 2018 for good. It was the third or the fourth time, but we broke up finally, forever. I wanted to break up with her because I thought I wasn’t good enough for her. Well, it was a whole different reason for me because the actual reason why I wanted to break up with her was because I wasn’t feeling loved. I didn’t have the guts to accept it and move on. I used to think it will hurt her badly, she is an innocent girl, and I would give it a new chance. I once put my mobile on complete shut down for a month to get away from her- that was the time she changed drastically because she realized that I wasn’t into her anymore. But we got back together shortly- she loved me after all, and so did I because I realized that instead of roaming around with strangers it was better for me to strengthen my relationships with people who love me- I was wrong. She had other guys in her life now- like that guy in their apartment, like that guy her friend had introduced to her and that addict guy who she had her in her phone list.
I was alone-broken. I put too much pressure on my rational mind and started emphasizing on my emotions. I brought this cloud of sadness over me. I wanted to put her into depression- I did. I was depressed too. Influence. My friend was a depressed person. He would talk about how depressed he was, how his past relationships had failed, how jealous he was of me, how he would talk about suicides and philosophies that I couldn’t understand. Influence! I don’t hang around with him anymore. I don’t meet him. He has a good job now. He is financially stable and has a girlfriend. I have no idea about my ex. We haven’t talked with each other since the day we parted our ways- she is hurt you know. I hurt her more than anybody else and I don’t want to go back to her with my dark shadow over her head. I am fine alone with my personality development obsession and sickness. I hope both of them are safe and sound.
I want to forget about my past but I can’t because I have hurt some of the best people of my life like my parents, family, friends, teachers, girlfriend and even a dog- damn! I wonder if she is alive- Dalli the dog. My friend’s dog. She gave birth to two little puppies. One is with us-a mother now- Lily. Lily makes me happy. She is wonderful. The only reason why I was facing the hardest time of my life was because I didn’t have any purpose in life. I wasn’t fulfilling my duty-studying. I would get high the entire day, miss my classes and sleep after a masturbation session. Food and shelter were available for me as my parents paid for it. They would send money every month and I would eat, get high, sleep- repeat. I did this for two years and my girlfriend was gone, I had failed in my semesters like a dead toad, I was financially depressed, I had lost weight, I was now a little jerk. I wasn’t happy. I never wanted to kill myself though. I wasn’t raised that way. My father was in the army, and you know how it is in the military family- respect and discipline but I packed my bags and returned back home during my third year and a year of my college was still left behind.
When I went back home, I couldn’t find my peace because my aunt was living with my mother with her little daughter- my sister. When I went there to live with my mother there were four ladies and me- one man. I had habits and it was difficult for me to maintain them. The rooms were small, and everything was audible. I had a habit of masturbating before sleep. And my aunt would sleep in the room right next to mine. I sometimes wanted to screw her up, but I knew it was not a moral decision. I wanted to seduce her just to masturbate but I couldn’t because I didn’t know how to. And interestingly I was a virgin until twenty-five years old. That was one of the reasons why my relationship didn’t work out with that girl because I couldn’t fuck. I mean she would say after marriage, but she would also get naked and get missionary, but I was facing mild erectile dysfunction because of heavy marijuana dosage, porn and excessive masturbation. So, maybe that didn’t work out. I left my mother’s comfort and came back to college to complete my education and I did but a year later. My psycho friend had passed his college and I was left behind with another friend of mine- loser no.2. I think he still is a virgin. But I am not. Not anymore!
My friends and I none of us got placed. We were jobless and there was corona virus and lockdown. It was good time for assholes like me to waste life away. I would spend my day by playing Pubg with my friends, watching porn and masturbating. My good time had begun. I was lucky enough to have faced an interview with the army for army engineering and not lucky enough for selection but reaching that spot where I was trying to compete to become an officer in the army. I was lucky enough to have got the chance to spend my time peacefully with my mother and my sister. My aunt had gone back home- her child had a vacation now- due corona and all.
One of my cousins are the in army. He was home for a break, and he motivated me to jog in the morning. I ran for two or three months but quit. But my mind was now looking for motivation to stay fit. One day I was watching porn and masturbation. Right after ejaculation I decided to stop watching porn and masturbating. Oh! Good days! I felt so good that day when I didn’t masturbate. I felt clean and guilt free. I was free now. I would miss my ex though. Her smile, her sadness, the burden she had due to me, the heavy heart that she had because she never wanted to leave me. I hope she is free and happy. I wish her the best and ask for forgiveness for every little thing that I did to her. I never wanted to make you cry but I am sorry. I have realized my mistakes now and I want to see you with a smiling face one day. I have moved on, but I am around, and I hope you too. Take care.
My friends have hurt me too and I have hurt them too. My family has hurt me, and I have hurt them too. People change but you don’t. Things always happen to you. Girlfriend, friends, family, money and etc.
FOCUS
If I could move a mountain, I would try to carry it around on my shoulders. A child, a teenager, an adult, a man, a woman, old, new no matter who, everyone is trying to find something in their lives- focus. If they lose focus, they will never be able to talk. Try not thinking anything and talking- you will notice how your brain coordinates your speech. We don’t care what we talk about because we are focused on something- conveying our message. It’s important to learn how to improve your focus. Thus, in order to improve your focus let’s try:

1. Meditating: Five to fifteen minutes a day- om meditation or guided meditation. Connect yourself with the inner spirit. Find out how heavy your chest is and how clouded your mind is. You are supposed to be as light the air and as clean as the water in the spring. Your mind should contain natural sceneries and not porn.
2. Exercising: Your body is a masterpiece of art. A godly creation. The entire human civilization is based on bodies. The entire art and history show how great leaders and warriors and scholars looked like. They had extremely appealing bodies, no matter what nation they belonged to. Romans, Greeks, British, Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Gorkhas, Sikhs, Mughals, and Americans, all of them have an interesting thing to notice- their bodies. Fast and furious to giants and strong. They all are focused. Some ruling the nations, some fighting wars, some creating art, some politics and some philosophies. They have a balance between their and heart and their brain. Have you ever done a chin up? Next time you do try to notice how your heart gets connected to your brain like a hook linking a loop. So, dear friends- exercise.
3. Study: I study engineering because I want to reach a better position in my career. You can study to be happy or flourish your business. But study something- learn.
4. Work: Work. Move your body, use your head. Work. Let your body know about discomfort and tiredness. In these modern times we have found new ways to earn our livelihoods- investment especially. If you are not a broker who works, his heart out to analyze and make profit and you are the one who makes money and live luxurious life out of the money your broker made for you then you should at least spend some time trying to make money the hard way- at least a day. I know you have been through a lot, and you have finally found your financial peace, or you were born rich, but I must tell you he is not a man who doesn’t work. You can try house chores if nothing is coming to your mind. So, work just to get yourself in motion.
5. Hobbies: I play dota2 and I want to play the internationals. I sing karaoke. Do what gets you excited to get back home.
6. Read: Read books. I want to learn finance, health, relationship, science and engineering. You can read them too. Reading is something that makes time for your brain to rest for some time. It will settle down some of your chemical imbalances there.
7. Write: Write your deepest feelings, write a short story, write essays. Write. You can’t always be verbally sharing things with others. Some things might have been missed and some left unsaid like the ones in the previous paragraphs. It’s just a good thing to do-write.

INTEREST
If you can’t quit, then it means you are inspired. Inspiration and motivation are two different things. You can’t inspire someone verbally, but you can motivate them. Inspiration is long lasting, and motivation is short term. Motivation is like fuel to your inspiration. You will understand it. Just try to do something that you are interested in for three months. That’s a goal.
I am interested in many things. Interest as I say please refer to skills- just to make it easier for you to understand the difference between hobbies and interests. My interests are in programming, designing electrical circuits, photography and content writing. These are skills that I want to acquire, and I am “interested in”. My interest can’t be lifelong because I have distractions around. So, with a small technique I can learn these skills without losing my interest. The technique is numbering. Just put make a list of things that you want to learn. It will help you not lose your interest.
How to keep your interest alive?
You can try writing them down on a diary. Make a list of your interest. Interests are those skills that can make you famous, rich and happy like painting, programming etc. Show your interests to the world on social platforms to gain fame, sell them or get a job to get rich and master your skills to be happy. Have some interest friends.
Basically, if you have a good body, wealth, character, behavior, manner, education, then you will have a personality that is safe and sound. People below your level will not mess with you and you won’t mess with people that are above you. But you will become someone who can deal with both the types because it’s not every day you get to meet and talk to the president and it’s seldom you need to avoid people that can harm you- rich and the poor.
Thank you for sticking to this post for such a long time. I feel humble enough to present this article to you. I would like to apologize if anybody was offended in this post. I can’t think more than this my friends. I would appreciate it if you left your valuable comments on this. Thanks, and may God bless you.

So- hello MrTechnodad (if you see this) and others!!
I don't really use Reddit but I thought I'd share with the One Of Us project launching I thought id share my story and experience as a Techno blade veiwer incase it helps someone else!
I found technoblade roughly 7 years ago, maybe longer, as I'm nearly 21 now. I struggled horribly with Anxiety and my mental health, my father wasnt around and my mother was struggling to make ends meet, but my love for various YouTubers helped me connect with a community that to this day I continue to interact with and find support in.
I struggled back then and even now with my own health and my mother struggles horribly now with her own issues that she's had for years, issues that are unfortunately starting seem similar in nature to mine.
My grandfather, who also had various helth issues, in my last year of highschool got sick after having survived cancer twice and died to it on December 6th 2021 in our basement the only place he wanted to be. His brother dying only a few days after, also of cancer, I crashed a burned pretty hard... and the community despite everything helped me through it.
I remember watching Techno in every video I could find, if it was DSMP, through Tommy, Wilbur or Phil i was there watching all of them, but i felt a familiarity with Techno that left me rewatching years old videos over and over again as they brought me comfort.
I was a mess and wasn't yet recovered from losing the only man I considered as my father figure, and my uncle who I loved and missed dearly when roughly 6 months later June came around and on the 30th 'goodbye nerds' was released.
I was inconsolable.
I sobbed for hours and called everyone I had befriended through the comunity.
One of my friends happened to be streaming at the time and you can see the moment I tell her the news...
We found comfort and strength in eachother and helped eachother mourn. It was a devastating day but regardless the community found strength in eachother and to this day, roughly ten months later, we're still singing his praises and continuing on his legacy the best way we can.
I'll admit in these ten months I was unwell mentally. I lost alot within a short period of time and Techno passing felt like the last straw in it all. All the recovery I'd gone through after my family members was null and void as my depression worsened and my anxiety relapsed worse then ever before.
I at the time felt like I was over reacting, I didn't know Techno personally and felt I didn't have the right to mourn him as much as i did. But he was my childhood, he was a large part of my life even if he didn't know it. And he ment alot to me, i know now it was ok to mourn him. I know now i was sad and that it was okay.
I was out of work for months because nothing felt right anymore.
But I'm here still, I'm nearly 21 and still making friends in the community and I'm planning to apply for colleges, and I at 16 NEVER thought I would have made it to 18 let alone 21.
For once in my life I'm proud of myself.
I'm gonna keep moving to make the world the best one I can even if it isn't much.
I'm happy Techno was a part of my life even if he had no idea how much he changed it for the better.
Anyway, sorry if this seemed kind of Venty, but I hope my story will reach someone who needs it.
You may not be okay right now but despite everything you will be.

Need to rant, tw for transphobia and appearance
So hi. I'm Cecil. My pronouns are they/them. I am agender (known since I was 7yo), and intend on doing top surgery and going on T once I can move out of my unaccepting birthgiver's care. Anywho... onto the rant. I'm in need of yet another haircut. I always try to go for more masc haircuts. I always liked it, but I've come to learn I can't seem to pull off any kind of masc or androgynous haircut. If I go into any place and ask for a specific cut, they just end up giving me a pixie cut because "yOu'LL LoOk LiKe A bOy." I can't see without my glasses and don't have or want contact lenses again, plus my only option would be kitchen scissors and... I'm sure you kinda understand where I'm getting at once I need to cut near my ears and the back of my head. I can never get my hair to do what I want it to either. It always just sits so flatly on my head, even when I do manage to get it cut the way I want. Hairgel never works, and I don't like how greasy it leaves my hair after washing. I know my voice is a big factor in why I get misgendered (or gendered, ig) all the time, but my hair usually is a giveaway too since I don't talk much anymore. I've tried making my voice deeper with practice, it doesn't work. People can tell. I just hate it. I can't even wear the clothes I feel comfortable and most androgynous in (sleeveless dresses & skirts) without being labelled as fem. Usually, if the person doesn't know, I tell them and correct a few times. I don't usually get uncomfortable if it happens once and the person didn't know. It gets to me when it's someone who knows, and has known, and continues to call me something I'm not despite being corrected and told numerous times. I can't transition because my birthgiver is unsupportive, and has made it known I'm not allowed to transition while under her roof. And I can't just leave, because where would I go? I don't have friends to go to in this state, or family I can stay with and bring my cat. She took me from one horrible state to another. I don't even have a car or my license, and I'm not within walking distance of a DMV. My birthgiver didn't even consider how I felt when I told her I wanted to transition - I was out to her for almost 4 years, and all she cared about was how I was taking away someone who never existed. How I never shown "signs" of being trans, how she still saw me as a 5yo girl and didn't want me "mutilating" my body because I haven't "grown into it yet" (I'm almost 21, mind you. I think I'm past the "growing" phase). I'm not even looking forward to my 21st birthday because she doesn't want me celebrating the way I'd want to - it has to be her way or I'm not allowed to celebrate at all. I'd have to listen to her and her bf sing happy birthday to [deadname] and not to Cecil. I'd have to be called the "birthday girl" all over again, and walk around broadway with a stupid "birthday girl" sash that was so freaking humiliating that I actually burned it after my 20th bday was over. I wasn't allowed to take the stupid thing off. I feel like they were just rubbing it in my face, tbh. My cat is the only one in this place that has kept me sane, and made me feel loved. She's, to me, the only real family I've got apart from my little sister (can't stay w/ her or father). I hope one day I'll be seen as me.
This concludes the rant. I know it was long, and probably tedious to read through. All of this has been on my mind for so long. To those who have reached the end, thank you. I really do appreciate it.

STORY OF THE TWO YOUNG FRIENDS
​
There were once in a very large Indian camp two little boys who were fast friends.
One of the boys, "Chaske" (meaning first born), was the son of a very rich family, and was always dressed in the finest of clothes of Indian costume.
The other boy, "Hake" (meaning last born), was an orphan and lived with his old grandmother, who was very destitute, and consequently could not dress the boy in fine raiment.
So poorly was the boy dressed that the boys who had good clothes always tormented him and would not play in his company.
Chaske did not look at the clothes of any boy whom he chose as a friend, but mingled with all boys regardless of how they were clad, and would study their dispositions.
The well dressed he found were vain and conceited.
The fairly well dressed he found selfish and spiteful.
The poorly clad he found to be generous and truthful, and from all of them he chose "Hake" for his "Koda" (friend).
As Chaske was the son of the leading war chief he was very much sought after by the rest of the boys, each one trying to gain the honor of being chosen for the friend and companion of the great chief's son; but, as I have before said, Chaske carefully studied them all and finally chose the orphan Hake.
It was a lucky day for Hake when he was chosen for the friend and companion of Chaske. The orphan boy was taken to the lodge of his friend's parents and dressed up in fine clothes and moccasins.
(When the Indians' sons claim any one as their friend, the friend thus chosen is adopted into the family as their own son).
Chaske and Hake were inseparable.
Where one was seen the other was not far distant.
They played, hunted, trapped, ate and slept together.
They would spend most of the long summer days hunting in the forests.
Time went on and these two fast friends grew up to be fine specimens of their tribe.
When they became the age to select a sweetheart they would go together and make love to a girl.
Each helping the other to win the affection of the one of his choice.
Chaske loved a girl who was the daughter of an old medicine man.
She was very much courted by the other young men of the tribe, and many a horse loaded with robes and fine porcupine work was tied at the medicine man's tepee in offering for the hand of his daughter, but the horses, laden as when tied there, were turned loose, signifying that the offer was not accepted.
The girl's choice was Chaske's friend Hake.
Although he had never made love to her for himself, he had always used honeyed words to her and was always loud in his praises for his friend Chaske.
One night the two friends had been to see the girl, and on their return Chaske was very quiet, having nothing to say and seemingly in deep study.
Always of a bright, jolly and amiable disposition, his silence and moody spell grieved his friend very much, and he finally spoke to Chaske, saying:
"Koda, what has come over you?
You who were always so jolly and full of fun?
Your silence makes me grieve for you and I do not know what you are feeling so downhearted about.
Has the girl said anything to you to make you feel thus?"
"Wait, friend," said Chaske, "until morning, and then I will know how to answer your inquiry. Don't ask me anything more tonight, as my heart is having a great battle with my brain."
Hake bothered his friend no more that night, but he could not sleep.
He kept wondering what "Pretty Feather" (the girl whom his friend loved) could have said to Chaske to bring such a change over him.
Hake never suspected that he himself was the cause of his friend's sorrow, for never did he have a thought that it was himself that Pretty Feather loved.
The next morning after they had eaten breakfast, Chaske proposed that they should go out on the prairies, and see if they would have the good luck to kill an antelope.
Hake went out and got the band of horses, of which there were over a hundred.
They selected the fleetest two in the herd, and taking their bows and arrows, mounted and rode away towards the south.
Hake was overjoyed to note the change in his friend. His oldtime jollity had returned.
They rode out about five miles, and scaring up a drove of antelope they started in hot pursuit, and as their horses were very fleet of foot soon caught up to the drove, and each singling out his choice quickly dispatched him with an arrow.
They could easily have killed more of the antelope, but did not want to kill them just for sport, but for food, and knowing that they had now all that their horses could pack home, they dismounted and proceeded to dress their kill.
After each had finished packing the kill on his horse, Chaske said:
"Let us sit down and have a smoke before we start back.
Besides, I have something to tell you which I can tell better sitting still than I can riding along."
Hake came and sat down opposite his friend, and while they smoked Chaske said:
"My friend, we have been together for the last twenty years and I have yet the first time to deceive you in any way, and I know I can truthfully say the same of you.
Never have I known you to deceive me nor tell me an untruth.
I have no brothers or sisters.
The only brother's love I know is yours.
The only sister's love I will know will be Pretty Feather's, for brother, last night she told me she loved none but you and would marry you and you only.
So, brother, I am going to take my antelope to my sister-in-law's tent and deposit it at her door.
Then she will know that her wish will be fulfilled.
I thought at first that you had been playing traitor to me and had been making love to her for yourself, but when she explained it all to me and begged me to intercede for her to you, I then knew that I had judged you wrongfully, and that, together with my lost love, made me so quiet and sorrowful last night.
So now, brother, take the flower of the nation for your wife, and I will be content to continue through life a lonely bachelor, as never again can I give any woman the place which Pretty Feather had in my heart."
Their pipes being smoked out they mounted their ponies and Chaske started up in a clear, deep voice the beautiful love song of Pretty Feather and his friend Hake.
Such is the love between two friends, who claim to be as brothers among the Indians. Chaske gave up his love of a beautiful woman for a man who was in fact no relation to him.
Hake said, "I will do as you say, my friend, but before I can marry the medicine man's daughter, I will have to go on the warpath and do some brave deed, and will start in ten days."
They rode towards home, planning which direction they would travel, and as it was to be their first experience on the warpath, they would seek advice from the old warriors of the tribe.
On their arrival at the village Hake took his kill to their own tent, while Chaske took his to the tent of the Medicine Man, and deposited it at the door and rode off towards home.
The mother of Pretty Feather did not know whether to take the offering or not, but Pretty Feather, seeing by this offering that her most cherished wish was to be granted, told her mother to take the meat and cook it and invite the old women of the camp to a feast in honor of the son-in-law who was soon to keep them furnished with plenty of meat.
Hake and his friend sought out all of the old warriors and gained all the information they desired.
Every evening Hake visited his intended wife and many happy evenings they spent together.
The morning of the tenth day the two friends left the village and turned their faces toward the west where the camps of the enemy are more numerous than in any other direction. They were not mounted and therefore traveled slowly, so it took about ten days of walking before they saw any signs of the enemy.
The old warriors had told them of a thickly wooded creek within the enemies' bounds.
The old men said, "That creek looks the ideal place to camp, but don't camp there by any means, because there is a ghost who haunts that creek, and any one who camps there is disturbed all through the night, and besides they never return, because the ghost is Wakan (holy), and the enemies conquer the travelers every time."
The friends had extra moccasins with them and one extra blanket, as it was late in the fall and the nights were very cold.
They broke camp early one morning and walked all day.
Along towards evening, the clouds which had been threatening all day, hurriedly opened their doors and down came the snowflakes thick and fast.
Just before it started snowing the friends had noticed a dark line about two miles in advance of them.
Chaske spoke to his friend and said: "If this storm continues we will be obliged to stay overnight at Ghost Creek, as I noticed it not far ahead of us, just before the storm set in."
"I noticed it also," said Hake. "We might as well entertain a ghost all night as to lie out on these open prairies and freeze to death."
So they decided to run the risk and stay in the sheltering woods of Ghost Creek.
When they got to the creek it seemed as if they had stepped inside a big tepee, so thick was the brush and timber that the wind could not be felt at all.
They hunted and found a place where the brush was very thick and the grass very tall.
They quickly pulled the tops of the nearest willows together and by intertwining the ends made them fast, and throwing their tent robe over this, soon had a cosy tepee in which to sleep.
They started their fire and cooked some dried buffalo meat and buffalo tallow, and were just about to eat their supper when a figure of a man came slowly in through the door and sat down near where he had entered.
Hake, being the one who was doing the cooking, poured out some tea into his own cup, and putting a piece of pounded meat and marrow into a small plate, placed it before the stranger, saying: "Eat, my friend, we are on the warpath and do not carry much of a variety of food with us, but I give you the best we have."
The stranger drew the plate towards him, and commenced eating ravenously.
He soon finished his meal and handed the dish and cup back.
He had not uttered a word so far.
Chaske filled the pipe and handed it to him.
He smoked for a few minutes, took one last draw from the pipe and handed it back to Chaske, and then he said: "Now, my friends, I am not a living man, but the wandering spirit of a once great warrior, who was killed in these woods by the enemy whom you two brave young men are now seeking to make war upon.
For years I have been roaming these woods in hopes that I might find some one brave enough to stop and listen to me, but all who have camped here in the past have run away at my approach or fired guns or shot arrows at me.
For such cowards as these I have always found a grave.
They never returned to their homes.
Now I have found two brave men whom I can tell what I want done, and if you accomplish what I tell you to do, you will return home with many horses and some scalps dangling from your belts.
Just over this range of hills north of us, a large village is encamped for the winter.
In that camp is the man who laid in ambush and shot me, killing me before I could get a chance to defend myself.
I want that man's scalp, because he has been the cause of my wanderings for a great many years.
Had he killed me on the battlefield my spirit would have at once joined my brothers in the happy hunting grounds, but being killed by a coward, my spirit is doomed to roam until I can find some brave man who will kill this coward and bring me his scalp.
This is why I have tried every party who have camped here to listen to me, but as I have said before, they were all cowards.
Now, I ask you two brave young men, will you do this for me?"
"We will," said the friends in one voice.
"Thank you, my boys. Now, I know why you came here, and that one of you came to earn his feathers by killing an enemy, before he would marry; the girl he is to marry is my granddaughter, as I am the father of the great Medicine Man.
In the morning there will pass by in plain sight of here a large party.
They will chase the buffalo over on that flat.
After they have passed an old man leading a black horse and riding a white one will come by on the trail left by the hunting party.
He will be driving about a hundred horses, which he will leave over in the next ravine.
He will then proceed to the hunting grounds and get meat from the different hunters.
After the hunters have all gone home he will come last, singing the praises of the ones who gave him the meat.
This man you must kill and scalp, as he is the one I want killed.
Then take the white and black horse and each mount and go to the hunting grounds.
There you will see two of the enemy riding about picking up empty shells.
Kill and scalp these two and each take a scalp and come over to the high knoll and I will show you where the horses are, and as soon as you hand me the old man's scalp I will disappear and you will see me no more.
As soon as I disappear, it will start in snowing.
Don't be afraid as the snow will cover your trail, but nevertheless, don't stop traveling for three days and nights, as these people will suspect that some of your tribe have done this, and they will follow you until you cross your own boundary lines."
When morning came, the two friends sat in the thick brush and watched a large party pass by their hiding place.
So near were they that the friends could hear them laughing and talking.
After the hunting party had passed, as the spirit had told them, along came the old man, driving a large band of horses and leading a fine looking coal black horse.
The horse the old man was riding was as white as snow.
The friends crawled to a little brush covered hill and watched the chase after the shooting had ceased.
The friends knew it would not be long before the return of the party, so they crawled back to their camp and hurriedly ate some pounded meat and drank some cherry tea.
Then they took down their robe and rolled it up and got everything in readiness for a hurried flight with the horses.
Scarcely had they got everything in readiness when the party came by, singing their song of the chase.
When they had all gone the friends crawled down to the trail and lay waiting for the old man.
Soon they heard him singing.
Nearer and nearer came the sounds of the song until at last at a bend in the road, the old man came into view.
The two friends arose and advanced to meet him.
On he came still singing.
No doubt he mistook them for some of his own people.
When he was very close to them they each stepped to either side of him and before he could make an outcry they pierced his cowardly old heart with two arrows.
He had hardly touched the ground when they both struck him with their bows, winning first and second honors by striking an enemy after he has fallen.
Chaske having won first honors, asked his friend to perform the scalping deed, which he did. And wanting to be sure that the spirit would get full revenge, took the whole scalp, ears and all, and tied it to his belt.
The buffalo beef which the old man had packed upon the black horse, they threw on the top of the old man.
Quickly mounting the two horses, they hastened out across the long flat towards the hunting grounds.
When they came in sight of the grounds there they saw two men riding about from place to place.
Chaske took after the one on the right, Hake the one on the left.
When the two men saw these two strange men riding like the wind towards them, they turned their horses to retreat towards the hills, but the white and the black were the swiftest of the tribe's horses, and quickly overtook the two fleeing men.
When they came close to the enemy they strung their arrows onto the bowstring and drove them through the two fleeing hunters.
As they were falling they tried to shoot, but being greatly exhausted, their bullets whistled harmlessly over the heads of the two friends.
They scalped the two enemies and took their guns and ammunition, also secured the two horses and started for the high knoll.
When they arrived at the place, there stood the spirit.
Hake presented him with the old man's scalp and then the spirit showed them the large band of horses, and saying, "Ride hard and long," disappeared and was seen no more by any war parties, as he was thus enabled to join his forefathers in the happy hunting grounds.
The friends did as the spirit had told them.
For three days and three nights they rode steadily.
On the fourth morning they came into their own boundary.
From there on they rode more slowly, and let the band of horses rest and crop the tops of long grass.
They would stop occasionally, and while one slept the other kept watch.
Thus they got fairly well rested before they came in sight of where their camp had stood when they had left.
All that they could see of the once large village was the lone tent of the great Medicine Man.
They rode up on to a high hill and farther on towards the east they saw smoke from a great many tepees.
They then knew that something had happened and that the village had moved away.
"My friend," said Chaske, "I am afraid something has happened to the Medicine Man's lodge, and rather than have you go there, I will go alone and you follow the trail of our party and go on ahead with the horses.
I will take the black and the white horses with me and I will follow on later, after I have seen what the trouble is."
"Very well, my friend, I will do as you say, but I am afraid something has happened to Pretty Feather."
Hake started on with the horses, driving them along the broad trail left by the hundreds of travois.
Chaske made slowly towards the tepee, and stopping outside, stood and listened.
Not a sound could he hear.
The only living thing he saw was Pretty Feather's spotted horse tied to the side of the tent. Then he knew that she must be dead.
He rode off into the thick brush and tied his two horses securely.
Then he came back and entered the tepee.
There on a bed of robes lay some one apparently dead.
The body was wrapped in blankets and robes and bound around and around with parfleche ropes.
These he carefully untied and unwound.
Then he unwrapped the robes and blankets and when he uncovered the face, he saw, as he had expected to, the face of his lost love, Pretty Feather.
As he sat gazing on her beautiful young face, his heart ached for his poor friend.
He himself had loved and lost this beautiful maiden, and now his friend who had won her would have to suffer the untold grief which he had suffered.
What was that? Could it have been a slight quivering of the nostrils that he had seen, or was it mad fancy playing a trick on him?
Closer he drew to her face, watching intently for another sign.
There it was again, only this time it was a long, deep drawn breath.
He arose, got some water and taking a small stick slowly forced open her mouth and poured some into it.
Then he took some sage, dipped it into the water and sprinkled a little on her head and face. There were many parfleche bags piled around the tepee, and thinking he might find some kind of medicine roots which he could use to revive her he started opening them one after the other.
He had opened three and was just opening the fourth, when a voice behind him asked: "What are you looking for?"
Turning quickly, he saw Pretty Feather looking at him.
Overjoyed, he cried, "What can I do so that you can get up and ride to the village with me? My friend and I just returned with a large band of horses and two scalps.
We saw this tent and recognized it.
My friend wanted to come, but I would not let him, as I feared if he found anything had happened to you he would do harm to himself, but now he will be anxious for my return, so if you will tell me what you need in order to revive you, I will get it, and we can then go to my friend in the village."
"At the foot of my bed you will find a piece of eagle fat.
Build a fire and melt it for me.
I will drink it and then we can go."
Chaske quickly started a fire, got out the piece of fat and melted it.
She drank it at one draught, and was about to arise when she suddenly said: "Roll me up quick and take the buffalo hair rope and tie it about my spotted horse's neck; tie his tail in a knot and tie him to the door.
Then run and hide behind the trees.
There are two of the enemy coming this way."
Chaske hurriedly obeyed her orders, and had barely concealed himself behind the trees, when there came into view two of the enemy.
They saw the horse tied to the door of the deserted tent, and knew that some dead person occupied the tepee, so through respect for the dead, they turned out and started to go through the brush and trees, so as not to pass the door.
(The Indians consider it a bad omen to pass by the door of a tepee occupied by a dead body, that is, while in the enemy's country).
So by making this detour they traveled directly towards where Chaske was concealed behind the tree.
Knowing that he would be discovered, and there being two of them, he knew the only chance he had was for him to kill one of them before they discovered him, then he stood a better chance at an even combat.
On they came, little thinking that one of them would in a few minutes be with his forefathers.
Chaske noiselessly slipped a cartridge into the chamber of his gun, threw it into action and took deliberate aim at the smaller one's breast.
A loud report rang out and the one he had aimed at threw up his arms and fell heavily forward, shot through the heart.
Reloading quickly Chaske stepped out from behind the tree.
He could easily have killed the other from his concealed position, but, being a brave young man, he wanted to give his opponent a fair chance.
The other had unslung his gun and a duel was then fought between the two lone combatants.
They would spring from side to side like two great cats.
Then advance one or two steps and fire.
Retreat a few steps, spring to one side and fire again.
The bullets whistled past their heads, tore up the earth beneath their feet, and occasionally one would hit its mark, only to cause a flesh wound.
Suddenly the enemy aimed his gun and threw it upon the ground.
His ammunition was exhausted, and slowly folding his arms he stood facing his opponent, with a fearless smile upon his face, expecting the next moment to fall dead from a bullet from the rifle of Chaske.
Not so.
Chaske was too honorable and noble to kill an unarmed man, and especially one who had put up such a brave fight as had this man.
Chaske advanced and picked up the empty gun.
The Toka (enemy) drew from a scabbard at his belt a long bowie knife, and taking it by the point handed it, handle first, to Chaske.
This signified surrender.
Chaske scalped the dead Toka and motioned for his prisoner to follow him.
In the meantime Pretty Feather had gotten up and stood looking at the duel.
When she heard the first shot she jumped up and cut a small slit in the tent from which she saw the whole proceedings.
Knowing that one or both of them must be wounded, she hurriedly got water and medicine roots, and when they came to the tent she was prepared to dress their wounds.
Chaske had a bullet through his shoulder and one through his hand.
They were very painful but not dangerous.
The prisoner had a bullet through his leg, also one through the muscle of his left arm.
Pretty Feather washed and dressed their wounds, and Chaske went and brought the black and white horses and mounting Pretty Feather upon the white horse, and the prisoner on her spotted one, the three soon rode into the village, and there was a great cry of joy when it was known that Pretty Feather had come back to them again.
Hake, who was in his tent grieving, was told that his friend had returned and with him Pretty Feather.
Hearing this good news he at once went to the Medicine Man's tent and found the Medicine Man busily dressing the wounds of his friend and a stranger.
The old Medicine Man turned to Hake and said:
"Son-in-law, take your wife home with you.
It was from grief at your absence that she went into a trance, and we, thinking she was dead, left her for such.
Hadn't it been for your friend here, she would surely have been a corpse now.
So take her and keep her with you always, and take as a present from me fifty of my best horses."
Hake and his beautiful bride went home, where his adopted mother had a fine large tent put up for them.
Presents of cooking utensils, horses, robes and finely worked shawls and moccasins came from every direction, and last of all Chaske gave as a present to his friend the Toka man whom he had taken as prisoner.
On presenting him with this gift, Chaske spoke thus:
"My friend, I present to you, that you may have him as a servant to look after your large band of horses, this man with whom I fought a two hours' duel, and had his ammunition lasted he would probably have conquered me, and who gave me the second hardest fight of my life.
The hardest fight of my life was when I gave up Pretty Feather.
You have them both.
To the Toka (enemy) be kind, and he will do all your biddings.
To Pretty Feather be a good husband."
So saying, Chaske left them, and true to his word,
lived the remainder of his days a confirmed bachelor.

Hi Carats 💎
I always found it interesting and very helpful reading about other people’s experiences seeing SVT live. I was super lucky to get to see our boys in Tokyo / Japan for their LOVE Fan Meeting (May 27)! I am an international Carat, European to be precise - and as Hybe keeps ignoring our continent I had to go all in to see our boys (I was lucky to see them in Chicago for BeTS last year as well) 🥺 I’ll share my personal experiences and how I managed to get tickets to a Japanese show - upfront: it wasn’t easy and hella expensive!
The following text will be super detailed (and quite personal - as I texted this to my friends as well) so just jump to whatever section you find interesting 😊 disclaimer: this all is my personal subjective view, other people might have had other experiences.
Be aware there will be spoilers ahead (e.g. setlist, outfits, games) for the final LOVE show in Tokyo today!

Short summary

• Most memorable: Fallin Flower, Mingyus voice in FML, SoonHoon ship and insane organisation in Japan
• Favorite performance (forever and ever): a thousand times Fallin Flower
• Unexpectedly seen a lot: Handsome Wonwoo
• Unexpectedly energetic: Vernon being a hype ball
• Songs that hit different live: My My, FML and Campfire

Only regretful things (this is me whining for no reason): Coups being out sick (get well soon leader, we missed you - but the boys covered you well ♥️), no never-ending encore song, no Super performances (but little dance challenges) and although I had an amazing view of the full stage from the upper tiers the boys were still little and hard to distinguish. I once even mixed up Woozi and Mingyu - only Dino was easy spotable with his pink head 😂 and oh… I forgot that they would sing Japanese versions of their song!

Members

S.Coups: I missed him so much! And I didn’t understand a word but I think Jeonghan said something about filling up the empty spot - cause everyone started cheering 😂 At the games section every member had a pillar that they had to fill up with hearts by winning games and it was so cute seeing Coups had all hearts right away!
Jeonghan: his hair is so curly and he really is part of the iron deficiency line - he was teamed up with Vernon, and oh boy, this guy was on fire 😂 Jeonghan was his cute usual, I’m not sure if he gave Carats sweets again for the encore but I saw him carrying around a bag!
Joshua: he was the usual cheeky, gentle sexy!! Manifesting SeokSoon as one of the funniest pairs - they were paired up for the games and just showed again that they’re hilarious together! Shua was cheeky and cheating while playing games and charming while talking to the MC! I mentioned they collected hearts to win the games - and every time the MC counted the numner of hearts, Shua popped up in front of the MC forming a heart over his head to be counted as heart as well 😂
Jun: gosh - he’s so handsome I can’t take it! And just as I perceived him in Chicago, he proved again that he’s my concert bias wrecker. He loves fooling around with Carats. Always doing hearts, winking, waving to us! He also danced a bit of limbo cause one challenge was a limbo game! 🔥 He paired up with Mingyu for the games - my personal visual death! When he changed to his 2nd outfit (the low cut silky black shirt with black pants) I nearly fainted! And he did the Cat move that Jeonghan teached him 🐱 he truly is the cutest cat boyyyy
Hoshi: our tiger, our prince, our pure hypeness! Of course his introduction lasted 20 minutes again 🐯 loved his vocals in _World, Fighting was so fun and he truly is the biggest Woozidan! I’ll talk about the games section later but that was so much fun, the variety god really does Carats well 😂 besides: the way he looked into the crowed, soaking in the atmosphere and realizing that they made it into Tokyo Dome for a fanmeeting (!) - you can truly see the stars in his eyes!
Wonwoo: he is just so handsome! He was paired up with Boo for the games and they were so cute and fun together 🥹 he was in the spotlight a lot - I can’t even pinpoint a certain memory. It was just lovely seeing him!
Woozi: dudeee, he is so hot with that dark eye make up and the wet long hair! 🔥 he was paired up with Hoshi and he hated it hahahah I love how you can see, how much he loves and lives each of their songs. He sings every line with all his heart.
THE8: His hair looks great with the mullet and bright streaks in the front. He was paired up with Dino and in one game they pulled a dinosaur figure and he played around with the toy, making it sit on Dinos shoulder and biting him 🦕
Mingyu: he looked really young, the hair and face/make up make him look like his version of 2019? Boy is SO aware of the camera, it’s insane… every other minute he is looking into one camera, running towards another camera, sending kisses, winking… 😂 And of course the members teased him again and asked him to do the sexy version of that one challenge they’re all into right now! And his vocals in the beginning of FML - right after Coups intro? I got damn chills and teary eyes. He is one of the members, that I personally underestimated the most regarding vocals and rap but he is stunning live - he truly is not just a pretty face but the full package ♥️
DK: our sunshine! All of them did this challenge which sounds like a children’s song? - and DK did nothing special just his beautiful, gorgeous wide smile and wholesome eye smile and radiated pure happy sunshine and every Carat just melted - he always lighten up the place ☀️ his vocals in Campfire are insane, this boy is amazing - I can’t even put in words!
Seungkwan: uri lovely, handsome, beautiful, funny, witty, variety king BOO! He’s just so funny, he knows exactly what to do to make Carats laugh 😂 I love him so much and I hope then world treats him better and better every day.
Vernon: I’m not sure if I like the black short hair, but he looks amazing nonetheless. He was soooo hyped when playing games! Especially paired up with Jeonghan, his hyung had no chance. Vernon was always running towards the games on the extended stages, but had to wait for Jeonghan to play, but that boy walked sooo slowly hahaha Vernons raps and vocals are so raw - it’s incredible how real this boy is! 💯 and ofc seeing him rapping in Fighting - my life is complete!
Dino: our pink Maknae! The hair is so crispy - I’m wondering why it doesn’t break and falls off. And he turned into Usain Bolt at the end! ⚡️ when they said their goodbyes, some members just went back to the main stage, sitting down - others went to each extend stage and waved to us. But Dino took it to the next level and was just running from one side to the other endlessly.

Performances

It was truly a fan meeting with lesser performances and more focus on games and the members themselves!
No Super stage… but it didn’t fit the vibe anyway. This was all flower boys Seventeen 🌸
They had 3 outfit changes, started with blue/white jeans, switching over to hoooot all-black black satin/lace shirts and jackets UGH I barely survived. Juns and DKs shirt was sooo low cut and Boos inner shirt was lace 🔥 and then the merch clothes as encore outfit!
My My was soo lovely! The Caratbongs were synced and for Bout You it was a lovely ocean of rose quartz/pink/lavendel light.
FML made me tear up and then they sealed the deal with Fallin Flower right after!! Woah, absolutely stunning and gorgeous 🥹 I couldn’t even see the members clearly as they performed on the main stage (not the extended one) and wore the dark outfit, plus the stage lights were pointing towards the crowd... but nonetheless - I can now die in peace.
I really got teary eyes at that stage as it’s one of my absolute fav Kpop song and the most anticipated performance ever - and during the song I just continuously shaked my head in awe. I realized once again that (… Hoshis voice please hahaha) J and K Carats are soooo lucky to be able to experience this absolute master piece in real life. ♥️
All the other songs were just perfect choices of sweet SVT music (World, Oh My, All My Love and Campfire or a bit more energetic like Run To You and Fighting). Loved the setlist!

Games

I have to tell this part in all it’s lengthiness and amazingness!
So it started with solo games first. They had to answer questions with A or B and the other members could bet if they’ll be right or wrong. Every right answer gave them hearts. ♥️ the absolute highlight: the questions (mostly around GoSe) and member order is random, I believe, and Wonwoo happen to got asked what his famous word from the Insomnia GoSe was - and variety god must love us cause I freaking heard TASTY live 👅 I - and around 55k other Carats - are the luckiest people alive!!
The top 3 winner after these 12 questions got to chose the member they’ll pair up for the duo games first! For selecting there was a pot with random pickets of all members in it and Boo started and picked two out of fun, not looking at them, teasing Carats and members by playing around with his eyes closed which one he should take and blindly chose Wonwoo 😎
Then it was Juns turn and Mingyu was behind him acting all cute for the cameras while Jun draw the picket - and it happen to be Mingyu 🤞 destiny!
And then was Woozi and 55k Carats screamed “Hoshi Hoshi Hoshi” and I realized, holy shit, shipping is BIG in Japan. And then… omg… Woozi also pulled out two just for fun and he turned the faces towards the crowd and you wouldn’t believe it HE PULLED HOSHI AND HIMSELF?! like WHAT THE HELL. Whats the chance of this happening? Him picking two for fun, everyone screaming Hoshi and then he didn’t pull Hoshi next to another member but next to himself🤩 thanks to some brave carats, that filmed and uploaded it
Other pairings: Funniest duo - DK Shua Hype vs non hype - Vernon Jeonghan And Dino Minghao last, they called themselves “THE-D” (you know how the pronunciation sounds the same hahha) 😂
Trying to keep it short but there were 3 extended stages, each of them with a different game (they had to find hidden hearts - which were either hidden in balloons, wrapped gift boxes or locked cases. They had to break those cases/boxes open and find the hearts)
And it was always 3 teams against each other and DK/Shua chose first and ofc they made it fun, Shua (I think) covered DKs eye with his hand and pointed his finger in one direction (meaning to one of the extended stage with a certain game) and asked “this one?” until DK said yes.
And Hoshi Woozi were second and did the same and holy shit the crowd went feral when Hoshi covered Woozis eyes with his hand 😂 and then he pointed in one direction and as Woozi said yes the whole crowd collapsed. Cause Woozi accidentally chose the game where the members have to burst a balloon in between them 😂 he hated it so much!
Actually after the last round SoonHoon were on the last place, therefore they got an extra game and won the chance to steal points from other members. They ripped Shua apart and took all his points making them the overall winners. 😂 And they got crowned as LOVE KINGS - Hoshi living his dream! And after a lot of unwillingness Woozi completed Hoshis hand heart and the crowd went crazy again!!!
The games section was sooo fun and holy shit I didn’t know where to look, there was just SO MUCH GOING ON! I was so thankful the games were self explanatory and no language skills needed! 💯 The MC was lovely (I believe it’s the one accompanying them since their debut in Japan!) and soo humble. While they were playing games and seated on the extended stage he just sat on the floor instead of grabbing a chair. So cute 🤩

Ticketing

It’s probably well known that it’s nearly impossible for foreigners to get tickets to a Japanese concert, as it requires a Japanese address and phone number. So after checking some websites I decided to try out several proxies and only got a positive reply from this one: Tickets Galore. Filling up the form is the easy part and they replied to me within a day.
I started requesting ticket support right after LOVE was announced end of February and only got confirmation at midnight the day of the concert and got the physical ticket 2h before the show started. Midway through I already gave up several times😭
My proxy was not able to get tickets for the Lawson lottery (not a fanclub lottery but of the ticket provider which is open to public) and also not for general sales. 😭
At 8pm the day before the show they released seats with restricted view for general public but again she didn’t manage to get a ticket for me. In the end they texted me at midnight saying she found a reseller who would meet up before the concert and that’s how I got the ticket for a seat in the restricted view area.
Things to consider:

1. time zone differences and email communication only was tricky as sometimes I/her missed a mail or replied hours too late
   
2. resale fanclub tickets were available in a lot of cases but ID check is guaranteed so no chance of getting in
   
3. trusting in the reseller to be legit and hoping for no random ID check of general seats (organizer announced to check ALL fanclub seats and random general seats)
   
4. paying more and more fees for the additional effort the proxy put it 💸
   
5. uncertainty about the ticket handover (for me the reseller told the proxy where and when to meet and what they would be wearing, luckily I was wearing something bright yellow and the reseller recognized me)
   
6. lots of back and forth mails asking about updates, available tickets for higher prices, etc. - my inbox is full of her mails. ✉️
   
7. You can request a maximum budget or preferred seats with the proxy and they’ll let you know what the market offers
   

But personally all was more than worth it in the end!! Original price of the ticket was around 12.000¥ and I paid around 51.000¥ incl fees (I assume I end up at around 10.000¥ in fees for the proxy - as it was not super clear how much the ticket price was in the end).
Experience with Ticket Galore: very responsive, a bit intransparent about the actual fees and sometimes doesn’t reply to all the questions. But still highly recommendable!
——-
Thanks for reading ♥️ I'll probably come back later and add links if I come across videos or tweets. If you have any questions or just want to share your thoughts or own experience feel free to share. Horanghae!! 🐯

In the last episode, we saw Dr. Logan Wright meet quite the colorful cast of individuals. From WWE superstar Logan Paul to the beautiful bird known as Logan Flight, the Symposium of the Logang was certainly a fascinating place to be. And now, with IWF superstar “Lumberjack” Logan Lawrence motivating him to stop being so passive, FBE’s Resident Doctor looks to be on the Wright path towards becoming the most focused man he can… without the distractions of his demons…
​
​
​
Blitz XX: Paddy Murphy vs. Dr. Logan Wright
We’ve reached the ten minute mark of this match, and after Paddy drills the Doctor with a To Cork and Back, he starts rising to his feet. However, from the outside, we hear Sensei trying to drill something into his student:
​
“Paddy-san… Rememberuhhh… Target the headuhhhh…”
​
With that last piece of advice resonating in his own head, Paddy starts getting ready for perhaps the final sequence of the match, a Give It Some Welly ready to be hit. However, Logan also happened to hear the wisdom from Sensei, dodging the big boot to the face. He gets behind Murphy, quickly dropping him with a Relax and Eat Some (German) Soup-lex. Instead of going for another move however, Wright’s gaze shifts to the outside. He exits the ring, staring a dagger through Sensei:
​
“Why exactly did you tell him to target my head?”
​
Sensei backs up a bit, but as he does so, a crumpled up piece of paper he was holding falls to the floor. He tries to pick it back up, but Wright beats him to it, revealing it to be…the stolen medical form from his office… the information regarding his head pains. Wright looks at the paper, a calm expression on his face initially, but slowly, he loses his cool. His hands ball up into fists, his face turns a bit red…and he mouths to Sensei:
​
“You shouldn’t have taken that.”
​
Wright gets back into the ring, and though Paddy has risen to his feet by this point, Logan drops him with the Whiplash sling blade. FBE’s Resident Doctor stares at his currently downed opponent, and realizes it’s time for a medical procedure…how about a Facial Reconstruction! Wright begins stomping on Paddy’s face, knocking him unconscious, before finally putting an end to the assault with the PDF Kamigoye.
​
Dr. Logan Wright def. Paddy Murphy via pinfall
​
As the ref raises Dr. Logan Wright’s hand, the crowd begins…booing? Wright looks around, confused at the negative reaction. I didn’t cheat, I just found a way to win the match. I didn’t do anything wrong… did I? As he heads into the backstage area, he’s quickly approached by a young-looking intern, a microphone in his hand:
Reporter: “Hello, my name is Ryan St. Brown, and I’m with the-”
Logan Wright: “Hang on, your last name is St. Brown? Are you related to Amon-Ra by chance?
Reporter: “No relation.”
Logan Wright: “That’s disappointing. But go ahead, ask your question.”
Reporter: “We just saw you pick up a strong victory over one of FBE’s fan favorites in Paddy Murphy. However, at the end of the match, you clearly looked more agitated than usual, and some would say you used more force than was needed to win-”
Logan Wright: “Are you one of the people saying that?”
Reporter: “Well, I…uh…”
Logan Wright: “Look, I like Paddy and Sensei. But at the same time, they took privileged medical information from me. Sure, maybe I shouldn’t have used that PDF at the end…but should I regret using one of my standard maneuvers to win a match? No, and I don’t. Next question.”
Reporter: “Ok, fair enough. You’re doing well in the Shining Light League right now, and I have to ask: if you were to win the whole thing, who would you challenge?
Logan Wright: “I don’t like dealing with hypotheticals. I much prefer diagnosing current problems with all the information at my disposal. So I’m not answering that.”
Reporter (muttering): “Man, you’re a lot more boring in person than I thought you would be. Your answers suck.”
This comment draws the ire of Wright, who moves closer towards the reporter.
Reporter: “What? Prove me wrong. Give me a message that’s actually worthwhile, and I’ll be more than happy to rescind that comment.”
Logan Wright: “I know you’re just looking for a soundbite to try and further your career, but you’ve got my attention. Ask away.”
Reporter: “Are you the best pure rules competitor in FBE?”
Logan Wright: “You’re damn right I am. They call Inferno Baba Blitz? They ought to call me Da-Da Blitz, because all these wrestlers gunning for my title… THEY’RE CHILDREN COMPARED TO ME!”
The reporter gives a sly smirk as he walks away, having gotten what he needed. Meanwhile, Wright finds a nearby chair to sit on, putting his head down. However, his moment of silence is soon interrupted by a familiar voice:
Jared Gallagher: “Weird night for you, eh?”
Wright looks up to see his once-cameraman and friend moving towards him. However, with the doctor’s tumultuous year, their relationship became more strained, not having spoken for a while…until now.
Logan Wright: “That’s one way of putting it.”
There’s a bit of an awkward silence for a few moments, as neither man initially wants to speak. Eventually though, Gallagher gains his composure:
Jared Gallagher: “Look, I know you probably don’t wanna speak to me-”
Logan Wright: “Then maybe you should stop talking.”
Jared Gallagher: “Ok fine, but let me ask you something first: what were you doing with that last remark to the reporter? It wasn’t as cool as it likely sounded in your head.”
Logan Wright: “I was doing a play on words, what’s confusing about it?”
Jared Gallagher: “Yeah, but you do realize “Baba” translates to “father” too? So instead of being clever, you were essentially just rehashing Inferno’s nickname.”
Logan Wright: “Fuck.”
Jared Gallagher: “Forget about that though, I wanted to talk to you about something else. I heard from a little birdie that you were taking advice from Logan Lawrence.”
Logan Wright: “Logan Flight ratted on me? I knew he couldn’t be trusted.”
Jared Gallagher: “That’s not the birdie I meant…you know what, forget it. I just want you to understand that being overly aggressive isn’t the key to success. You’ve already been good up to this point, don’t lose your true self by being more of a jackass.”
Logan Wright: “Yeah, being good is fine…but I don’t wanna just be “good” anymore. I wanna be great. I want to prove myself as the pillar of something, and pure rules is the best chance I have at that. But relax, I don’t wanna just be an asshole for the sake of being one either.”
Jared Gallagher: “Ok, that’s fine. But if you want to improve… What's your next move? Gonna do some training with the rest of the Ark? Maybe ask your medical colleagues for some more dieting tips?
Logan briefly thinks about the suggestions, before he remembers something that Sensei told him…
Logan Wright: “No, I have a better idea… I’m going to Nepal.”
And with that, Dr. Wright starts heading towards the exit, a smile on his face, while Jared Gallagher is just left confused. He never even said why he was going there, what in the world is he doing…
​
​
​
One Week Before Unbreakable V: Kathmandu, Nepal
After a long trip, Logan Wright has finally made it into the heart of the Himalayan Mountains. He gets out of the car, paying and thanking the driver who escorted him from the airport to get to this point. He reaches into his pocket, grabbing the “business” card that led him to this location. He stares at it for a few moments, glancing up and down to make sure he’s in the right place. Yep, this is the one…
In front of Dr. Wright stands a worn-down house. It's small, with what looks to be only one story, and the white color is wearing away like the wooden beams supporting it. There’s a window near the front door, but a set of blinds are covering it up. As Logan approaches the entry-way, he smells a distinct odor of soup. Taking a breath, he knocks on the door. As he does so, a crash of glass can be heard on the other side, and there’s some momentary yelling before a tired-looking individual opens the door.
???: “May I help you?”
Logan Wright: “Hello, my name is Logan Wright. I’ve been informed that an incredibly wise teacher of medicine and healing resides here…”
???: “You’re correct, but he’s not seeing anyone today. Come back another time…”
Logan Wright: “Wait, I really need this. And I think I know one of his friends, they pointed this place out to me.”
???: “What’s the name of this friend?”
Logan Wright: “He’s known as Sensei-”
“LETT HYMN INN!”
This yelling from inside the house startles Wright, and the man at the doorway sighs, motioning for Logan to come in. As the doctor does so, he glances around the house, immediately noticing the kitchen area. Sitting at a table there is an older gentleman, with a pair of glasses on and a cane at his side, Logan quickly realizing he’s blind. The man from the doorway points for Logan to sit down with him, and Wright obliges, positioning himself in the chair next to the old individual.
Logan Wright: “Hello sir, it’s a pleasure to meet-”
???: “HALLO! IHT IST VAIRY GNEISS TWO MEAT YU! MI NEIGHME IST BLOGAN BITE!”
Wright briefly cringes at the yelling of the individual, looking back with a confused look on his face to the figure near the door. He notices a nametag on the figure he hadn’t seen before, reading “Bibek”.
Bibek: “Yeah, don’t worry about that. He’s blind and almost deaf, he needs to speak loudly to make himself sure he’s actually talking. Oh, and he said, “Hello, it is very nice to meet you. My name is Blogan Bite.”
Logan Wright: “Wait, why are you translating for him? He’s speaking directly to me, I know what he’s saying.”
Bibek: “Oh, just so the readers of this episode actually have a clue as to what’s going on.”
Logan Wright: “Wait what readers… oh, we’re doing another fourth wall break, gotcha.”
Blogan Bite: “Y HOV U CUHMM HEAR?”
Bibek: (“Why have you come here?”)
Logan Wright: “I’m looking for some advice. For a while now, I’ve felt an inner conflict in my emotional state and my moral compass. I want to be more aggressive, to try and be the best…but I don’t want to abandon the roots of my existence that helped shape me into who I am. Do you have any advice?”
Blogan Bite: “HYMMMMMM…. A TUFF PRAHBLIM INN DEED!”
Bibek: (“Hmmm… A tough problem indeed.”)
Suddenly, Blogan reaches towards his side, reaching into a bag. He shakes it around for a bit, before pulling out something from inside. He triumphantly slams it onto the table, before pushing it towards Dr. Wright. Logan looks at it for a few moments, an incredulous look on his face.
Logan Wright: “Why exactly are you… what is… what do you expect me to do with a copy of Fire and Ice by Robert Frost?
Blogan Bite: “HEE IST UHHH GRATE POE EHT! TAKEUHHH INN SPUR AYE SHUN FROMM HYMM!”
Bibek: (“He is a great poet. Take inspiration from him.”)
Logan Wright: “So… let me get this straight: your solution to my problem is…writing fucking poetry?”
Blogan Bite: “WASH YUR LANGWAGEE JUNG MANN! POEHHH TREE IST UHHH BEUTUHFULL THYNG!”
Bibek: (“Watch your language young man. Poetry is a beautiful thing.”)
Logan Wright: “Yeah but…surely there’s something that’s more suitable for my situation?”
Blogan Bite: “EYE ARM UHHH FRAYED KNOT! TEH BAHG HAHS SPOKANE!”
Bibek: (“I am afraid not. The bag has spoken.”)
Logan Wright: “Wait, do you just reach in the bag and randomly pull out an object for everyone that comes in?”
Blogan Bite: “OFF COORS! WATT ELSUHHH WOOD EYE DOO?”
Bibek: (“Of course. What else would I do?”)
Logan Wright: “Ok, I think we’re done here. Thank you for this… attempt at a recommendation. You’re truly one of the people I’ve ever met.”
As Logan gets up, Blogan extends a hand. Reluctantly, Wright shakes it, before heading to the doorway, acknowledging Bibek, and leaving the worn-down house. As he heads towards the street, he’s just left to ponder what transpired. That was dumb… traveling thousands of miles instead of just doing training was rather pointless. But as he gets in the car, ready to go back to the airport, another set of thoughts come over him. You know what…maybe I can make the best out of this situation…maybe writing poetry actually can do me some good…
​
​
​
Day Before Unbreakable V: Dr. Wright’s Office
With just 24 hours until Unbreakable, Jared Gallagher and Charles Crandall figure Wright is busy with training, or if nothing else, his medical work. However, they’re surprised to receive an invite to his office, and though Gallagher tries to ask him what it’s about, he gets no answer. It frustrates him, but he figures it must be important, so after grabbing a quick bite with Charles, they head over to the office. By this point in time, Crandall is fairly quiet, his eyes becoming increasingly purple for longer periods of time and Wrogan slowly and quietly influencing his personality, but the time to reveal that isn’t here…yet.
When they reach the hall outside the office, they’re surprised to see Logan standing in the doorway, a smile on his face. He invites them in, even having an assortment of pastries and desserts on the table for his friends to snack on. While Jared is quick to grab a danish, he’s also quick to raise eyebrows at this behavior.
Jared Gallagher: “Logan, what is all this for? This feels…too nice…
Logan Wright: “What, a man can’t just happen to invite his friends over for some delicious treats?”
Jared Gallagher: “You’re not fooling anyone man, just tell us why we’re here.”
Logan Wright: “Ok fine, you got me. The reason you’re here today… I wanted you to be the first screenings of my first-ever poem!”
Though Crandall is wearing sunglasses, he and Gallagher are quick to shoot each other a glance of confusion.
Jared Gallagher: “What?”
Logan Wright: “That’s right, when I went to Nepal, the man I met recommended I write poetry to ease my tensions and help me become a better person. I thought he was insane, but as I started to write, I realized…he may be right!”
Jared Gallagher: “That’s…but…I’m so confused. You didn’t even get any real training or medicinal techniques? You just got…told to write? What even is your topic?”
Logan Wright: “I’m glad you asked, old chum! I’ve entitled this poem…
​
An Ode To Jay…
​
In the garden lived a bird
Who truly loved to sing
It was a beautiful mockingjay
And through the air, its voice did ring
​
The bird was beloved
And believed to be a Hero
But little did the world know
Of its painful little ego
​
This bird fought and fought
It did everything to grow
But when abandoned by friends
It was a true low blow
​
Once upon a time, the group was
United, and forever in-sync
But when the Jay hit the bottle
Oh, did their PROSPECTS ever so sink
​
And the bird has recovered
It has regained its feathers
But little does the jay know
Of the impending, harsh weathers
​
For the jay may spread its wings
And fly in the dark
But it doesn’t know
Of its impending, dangerous arc
​
This bird will fly, and
It truly wants to win
But the true challenge is here
For the Doctor is in!
​
As Wright finishes his last line, his theatrical reading of the lines now finished, he finally turns towards his faithful audience. He’s met with a blank look from Charles Crandall, the sunglasses still firmly covering his eyes. And Jared… his mouth is agape, trying to process what he just heard.
Logan Wright: “So… what did you think?”
Jared Gallagher: “I… what… how… why… I don’t know what to say.”
Logan Wright: “You can show your appreciation by clapping, I worked really hard on that.”
Jared Gallagher: “I could… but let me get this straight… This is how you’re handling your upcoming rematch with Jay? Making a poem that only we’ve listened to, and not trying to find a way to, I don’t know, not finish the match in a time-limit draw?”
Logan Wright: “Forget about that, tell me if I should improve the language I used and how the poem flowed together. I could probably stand to write a poem for the tag team title match as well.”
Jared Gallagher: “Logan, Logan, Logan… Ok, if you want to live in this strange world of yours, go ahead. The poem was fine, but you weren’t exactly subtle with it, especially at the end. Like I get you want to beat Jay, and I know you were mad with what he said about you in the past…but really, finishing the entire thing about the Doctor being in? That doesn’t even make sense with the vibe you established.”
Logan Wright: “Fair critique, I’ll keep that in mind when I continue writing these.”
Jared Gallagher: “Come on man, it’s cool that you have a hobby, but I know just how much you cared about wrestling. Please, just step away from the paper and train while you still have a little bit of time left before tomorrow. I know we’re not as close as we once were…but if nothing else, do it for the rest of the Ark. Do it out of spite against Wrogan. Do it to prove that you’re not completely crazy, and that you deserve to be where you are in life.”
It’s with this line that something seems to click in Logan’s head. He looks towards Jared, nodding his head, and he moves towards his desk. He stares at all the notes and rough drafts he had been working on for his writings, a frown coming over his face.
Logan Wright: “I wish I was normal… I wish I didn’t go through these personality changes every other day. You’re right Jared…You’ve always been right. Wrestling needs to come first, and I have everything I need to stay energized. I don’t want to be passive, I don’t want to be aggressive…I just want to live. And tomorrow…things are going to get fun.”
Gallagher smiles at Wright being reinvigorated, and the pair share a quick hug. Upon Jared and Charles leaving, Dr. Wright takes a quick look in his mirror, and smiles at the expression of confidence now piercing through his eyes. He grabs his coat, turns off the light, and so begins a long and tedious night at the gym…
​
​
​
Night of Death Before Impurity:
​
Pre-Match Process
​
The Finals are here… and Logan Wright is in them. After weeks leading-into months of this Shining Light League Tournament running center-stage on Blitz, the Doctor has gotten to where he wanted to be…where he needed to be. As he sits in the locker room, getting himself mentally prepared for the tall task that comes with facing DTJ’s Hunter Maguire, he sees in his peripheral vision someone entering the room. He glances up, smiling to see Jared coming to visit.
Jared Gallagher: “Hey champ, how we feeling about tonight?”
Logan Wright: “Whatever happens tonight…well, what I know will happen tonight… is PURE-ly destiny.”
Jared Gallagher: “Not your best joke, but glad to see you’ve been in positive spirits recently.”
Logan Wright: “Yep, tonight has to be the moment where everything pays off…it just has to…”
Jared Gallagher: “It will… I believe in you. And if you don’t mind me asking…who would you want to face at P.U.R.E. if things go your way?”
Logan Wright: “You know I can’t answer that right now, I have to get the job done first.”
Jared Gallagher: “Fair enough, fair enough. I should be heading off…go get em’, champ.”
With that, Gallagher leaves the room, and Wright rises to his feet. He looks at his arms, then his legs, then finds the mirror. He stares into his soul…Come on out Doctor…It’s operation time…
​
Post-Match Press Conference
​
Dr. Logan Wright did it.
As he’s now backstage, being greeted with a bottle of champagne that was ordered for him, Logan is still trying to ponder what just took place out there. From the match itself… to the seconds after the match realizing he won… to the return of the legend Petite Jupiter, handing him the trophy…
It’s all absolutely surreal, and Logan is at a loss for words. However, as he gets word that reporters are waiting to get a word from him, he quickly gathers his composure. He takes a big swig from the champagne bottle, before heading into the room, waving to the assortment of familiar and different faces. He moves towards the stage, taking a seat and getting the mic setup, ready to hear questions.
Reporter #1: “That was a hell of a match you had, Dr. Wright. What’s going through your head right now?”
Logan Wright: “Honestly, half of it is just my brain screaming and the other half is random gibberish. I can’t fully process either, but when I feel this way… I’m fucking pumped. But I do wanna quickly say… I respect you Hunter, I really do. You’ve been a tough opponent twice now… but that’s all the positives I can really say right now. Fuck DTJ.”
Reporter #2: “We just witnessed the return of Petite Jupiter, and the fans certainly loved it. But what did you think about it? Did you feel as though he was stealing your thunder by returning immediately after your big moment?”
Logan Wright: “Look, I know you’re looking for a soundbite, and I caved in several weeks ago to that one reporter. I’m not gonna do that here though. I faced Petite Jupiter in 2021, and I know just how good he is. He deserved to get that electric crowd reaction, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to hand me the beautiful Shining Light League trophy.”
Reporter #3: “But now Dr. Wright, I think we all have a question on our minds. In addition to that trophy, you have the chance to pick your challenger for P.U.R.E, and that’s a lot of power. So if you can tell us…who are you gonna be facing?
Logan smiles at the question, fully expecting it to have been asked. He glances around the room, noticing Kaze Tanaka, Code Blue, Cactus Mike, and Jared Gallagher all standing at the back. He nods at them, before getting the mic, ready to make the announcement:
​
Logan Wright:
“In my time in FBE, there have been times where I’ve felt…insecure. Insecure about my talent, insecure about if people actually liked me or not, and insecure about my failures especially. But 2023… let’s just say it’s been a great Spring of Stethoscopes so far. You all know I’ve held the Pure Championship for about four months now, and I’ve faced my fair share of great individuals. But this second title run… it’s missing something. My past, in particular my 2021, was riddled with failures against veterans of this company. Losses to Inferno, to Nate Matthews, to Petite Jupiter… wins were hard to come by. I turned things around in 2022, but even then, my 1st Pure Title reign came to an end at the hands of FBE’s Resident Bastard. It feels like it’s just inevitable, and a running gag…
…But nowadays, I look at myself differently. Other people look at me differently. I’ve grown into what I wanted to be, what I hoped I would be… hell, I’ve even been dubbed as being somewhat of a “Final Boss.” I don’t want to get too egotistical, but not having lost since January… man, the ship I’m on, that being the Ark of course, is on a perfect path. But sometimes, it’s better to go for a different path, a path that stands out…to maybe make history…
So with that, this decision has drifted in my mind, and I’ve weighed all my options carefully. I’ve considered juniors and heavyweights. I’ve considered people from my past or completely fresh opponents. I’ve considered people who would die to win the Pure Championship, or even those who have disrespected it, to show them what it’s all about. But after a while, something finally clicked in my head. I’ve tried to forget that previously mentioned “can never beat a veteran legend” stigma, but until I get a decisive win, it’ll always float right alongside the ocean that contains my thoughts and dreams. So I will be challenging a long-time competitor of FBE, a man who has wrestled here for many years…
But the question of who was certainly a fascinating one…for about a minute. For once this name came to me, it never escaped. This man has held his share of championship gold, This man knows a thing or two about being dubbed a “Final Boss.” And this man has quite the past experience against the Ark… except with me. And to this man, I officially extend the challenge…if he's willing to accept it...
​
The stage is set…the main event of P.U.R.E…for the FBE Pure Championship…The match you reporters and all the worldwide fans of FBE will get to witness is…
​
​
Doctor Logan Wright vs. Apeirogone

My 2 year old doesn't say any words. I noticed that when certain songs are on, she makes lots of happy, tuneless noise/babbling . It isn't recognizable as the song, but I'd guess that she is singing along. Does your child do this too? Or (alternately) can you actually recognize the songs your child sings?

A special thanks to u/bluefishcake for the wonderful original story and sandbox to play in.
A special thanks to my editors LordHenry7898, RandomTinkerer, Swimming_Good_8507, CatsInTrenchcoats, and KLiCKonthat.
And a big thanks to the authors and their stories that inspired me to tell my own in this universe. RandomTinkerer (City Slickers and Hayseeds), Punnynfunny (Denied Operations), CompassWithHat (Top Lasgun), CarCU131 (The Cook), and Rhion-618 (Just One Drop)
Hy’shq’e Ay Si’am (Thank you noble friends)
Chapter 30: A Promise Kept
Kalai stepped off the shuttle to the Vaida’s headquarters and into a running tackle-hug from Sitry. “Oh Kalai, I could kill you right now! You got to see the Great Barrier Reef in person, you bitch!” Sitry’s cheerful voice was muffled from where she was still buried in her chest. Kalai staggered backwards a pace or two, happy to be back from her whirlwind adventure around Earth with her father.
Naranjo and Papa Rhaxiid were there on the platform to welcome her back too, but their welcomes were more sedate.
“Not to mention you got out of work for half our damn trip. Ugh, it’s so not fair!” Naranjo huffed as Kalai gave him a sisterly hug.
Papa Rhaxiid reached up and chucked her chin before turning to lead the way back inside from the forested platform. “Welcome back, sweet-sprout, we’ve missed you. Come on, we’ll get you settled again and off to work. There’s quite a bit you need to catch up on if you want your credits.”
The chuckles from the twins behind her were full of sibling malice, but she knew how to shut the pair of them up. “Papa Rhaxiid? I’ve got the paper on Biodiversity in the Reef you asked for, along with the dissection report and stomach content analysis of the tuna we caught. I want to put the finishing touches on it and do a final proofread first before I send them to you.” The man turned and gave her a warm smile as they entered the building.
“Good, why don’t you go take your things back up and say hello to Andy? I’ll give you an hour and a half to get freshened up, then I want you to report to Aquarium 12 with Dr. Sor’ansa. You can put your snorkeling practice to work there.” Papa Rhaxiid walked the three of them to the residential elevator. “I’m heading back to my office. Andy’s been requested by Maetro Pae’ella to work the kitchens for something called ‘Bison burgers'. Apparently it’s a type of indigenous bovine that the eastern Bands raise. That and something from Europe called ‘French Fries’.”
Kalai couldn’t help but get excited as she and her siblings piled into the elevator back to their little shared apartment. Sure the food she’d had all over the place was good, but so far nothing had been able to compare to Andy and his Salishian cooking.
“Nerd, I can’t believe you cheated and did work on your vacation." Naranjo broke the silence of the elevator after a little bit and stuck his tongue out at her.
“Spit to windward, you vain little weed. Don’t hate me because I’m awesome.” Kalai’s riposte caused Naranjo to fold his arms and huff. Sitry simply ambushed her with an ear flick.
The elevator door opened to their floor before Kalai couldn’t bear the silence from Sitry any longer. “So, did you bag him yet, you lucky bitch?”
“No she hasn’t!” Naranjo’s singsong mockery of his sister interrupted Sitry’s response. “Papa hasn’t let Sitry even NEAR Andy without one of them around!”
“Rub it in, you snitch, besides, he did kiss me first,” Sitry preened happily as she playfully shoved Kalai’s shoulder.
Kalai pretended to stumble and almost caught Sitry’s foot, but she was just a hair too slow. “Yeah, and then you gave him a black eye, you clod.”
“Will you let it go? It was an accident!”
“It’s not even the only one he got either." Naranjo’s interjection stopped her right in front of their door.
“Wait, what? Who hurt him this time?” Kalai let her bag thunk to the floor as she turned to look accusingly between Sitry and Narny.
Sitry folded her arms and her ears twitched back as she shot a dark look at their door. “He ‘fell down’ yesterday while out at one of the Hatcheries we gave to the Hwatcoms. Mrs. Toloui nearly had a fit! She said she could smell another human on him and that he was covered in blood!”
Narny nodded primly as Kalai tried to process what they were telling her. “WHAT? Did she call out the militia? Track down whoever hurt him?”
“No, and he refused treatment and insisted that no one did it to him! When papa tried to talk to him, Andy said some stupid human macho shit about pain healing and birds liking scars. I don’t know, sometimes humans… they’re frickin’ insane!”
The door shot open and there stood Andy. His left eye was an angry puffy yellow and blue mess, and there were three points on his lips where a dark cinnabar line marked a crack. Kalai and her siblings stood in wide eyed shock at his sudden appearance and the only sound was the music emanating from the common room behind him.
Andy looked up and down at the three without saying a word. He cocked an eyebrow and snagged Kalai’s bag before any of them could react and cleared the doorway for them.
Kalai sputtered at the impropriety but Naranjo and Sitry just shrugged and walked in after Andy. “Femboys, am I right?” Narny whispered to Kalai as he passed. Kalai followed behind and was greeted by the white fluff-ball, Puck, who hopped up and down, whining for attention. She bent down and started scratching his ears and back. While Puck rubbed up against her hands, Andy settled back down at the table where his omnipad was hooked up to a keypad. Her heart started to sink a bit and Kalai shot Sitry a jealous look before the music came to a sudden halt and Andy interrupted the beginnings of her pity party.
“Ok, Kem’ira, I got the pics now and I’m telling you to declare yourself to the farmers first! I guarantee if you tell them you’re with the new DNR and you’re there to kill all the Scotch Broom in their pasture lands, they’ll stop trying to shoot you for trespassing!”
Kalai’s mood jumped up a bit. It’s not that he doesn’t care to see me, he’s in a meeting!
“No, no I’m not coming out to talk this over with them, I’ve got my own work to do! Either you start talking to folks like I showed you how, or ask the militia to give you one of their armored catsuits to wear under your uniform… Uh-huh, good luck." Andy hung up on the call and leaned back as Puck scampered over and hopped up in his lap.
Andy rubbed his temples before shaking his head. He seemed to relax a bit and Puck slid off to follow Sitry to the kitchen. Andy looked over and gave Kalai a happy smile that made her flush. “Welcome back! So how was the land down under? That tuna was fan-frickin’-tastic, if you aren’t sick of seafood I’ll do something fancy with it tomorrow to celebrate your coming back. Can’t tonight though, I got volun-told to be head chef tonight and I… Oh damnit! I’m late! Come to dinner, burgers and fries Indian style tonight. Gotta run!” With that, Andy went dashing out the door with Puck barking and scrambling along after him.
Kalai felt her heart sink back down again, as he left. “Andy I-” She started but he was gone.
“Yeah, it’s been like that for the whole week. The only time we get to hang out is dinner.” Sitry commiserated as she took Kalai’s bag into their room. “On the other hand, we might get to catch up during the family meal tonight.”
The dinner was delicious, though a bit weird. It tasted alright, but there was a certain aftertaste on the sandwich that just didn’t sit right with Kalai. She just couldn’t put her finger on it. The french fries more than made up for it though, and Mama Sakalbi had to hold a science trivia contest to see who got the last little handful.
Kalai and Narny were already silently plotting with each other for their revenge against their sister who had won and refused to share the last few matchsticks when Andy finally joined their table. He was sweaty and he smelled of woodsmoke and french fries. Kalai jumped up and offered him a seat next to her with a nervous smile. He took it gratefully and seemed to sag a bit as he gulped down a glass of water.
“Andy, I think you may be finding your calling as a culinary ambassador,” Mama Aftasia beamed. “A toast to the chef!”
Andy gave a shy smile and looked down as Kalai and the rest of the family gave a hearty ‘Here, here!”
“It’s a simple enough recipe; it’s just using bison instead of cow, that’s all, and I don’t know anyone who’d turn down hand cut fresh fries. It’s kind of hard to screw up.”
“Young man, you are speaking to a woman who found a way to take cold water and dried wumpa flakes and wind up with a Class-4 fire. Cooking has always seemed like ‘blight mysticism’ to me, and these foods? These flavors? Nothing short of a Greenwood miracle in my opinion." Mama Aftasia continued her praise of Andy, which only caused him to shrink even lower in his seat.
“To be honest, I like your salmon better,” Kalai said, and the whole table went silent. Kalai held her ground though, and was rewarded with a tired but genuine laugh from Andy that brought him back out of his shell.
“You know, I do too. My Clan were fisherpeople, not buffalo chasers.” Andy gave Kalai a cheeky grin, which she returned happily, her heart glowing. Mama Aftasia and Mama Sakalbi both blinked in bemusement at Andy’s statement while Sitry just giggled.
“Speaking of which, Andy, I received a call from Elder Alex Hwatcom.” Papa Rhaxiid’s change of subject instantly perked Andy up, and he stared silently, waiting. “He extended an invitation to our family to attend his family gathering this Friday-”
“Alex said that? He used those words?” Andy shook his head in shock as he interrupted Papa Rhaxiid. The table went quiet and everyone held their breath as they looked between the two men.
Papa Rhaxiid adopted as good an impression of the human Elder as he could. “I’d like to extend an invitation for you and your family to be guests at our family gathering this saturday up at the White… something… lodge-”
“The White Ram Lodge?” Andy sat forward, interjecting again as the color drained from his face.
“Yes, that’s the one! I asked if we could bring anything since the last time they hosted us they put on that wonderful spread. He said if we could bring a few salmon for the family, that would be wonderful.”
Andy leaned back and took another sip of ice water before holding the glass to his blackened eye. “Alex Hwatcom… just invited you… to a gathering… and he told you to ‘bring a few salmon’? Do you realize what a huge honor this is?”
Rhaxiid looked from his wives to his children with mild concern. “Um, I thought it was only dinner, but your reaction tells me there’s more significance to this than I originally thought. I was thinking about our stocks of adult Sockeye, but then I remembered in his story how important King Salmon are. Of course, I’d like to defer to you for the choice since you know these animals and the cultural expectations with this invitation better than we do.”
Andy was silent for a moment before he put the glass down. “I’d recommend a ‘hard no’ to all your clone stock!” Now it was the Vaidas’ turn to be shocked, as each of Kalai’s Erbian family’s jaws dropped in synch. Before anyone could say anything, Andy continued, “You need to bring wild-caught. Farm-raised salmon wouldn’t… well we can tell, and you can taste the difference between them. We need to go fishing!” Kalai leaned towards Andy slightly as he lowered his head and started mumbling to himself. She was just able to make out what he was saying to himself as Mama Sakalbi and Mama Aftasia began whispering to each other. “...need to get the Gillnetter out of storage, check what’s running and select the mesh. I’m gonna need a deckhand too.”
Kalai reached a hand out but stopped short of touching him. “Andy?”
He popped up and spoke for the whole table to hear. “I need a shuttle to the mainland and a waiver against the fishing ban. I’ve got to get my boat and the drum ready for sea ” Rhaxiid and Aftasia sputtered in confusion, but Mama Sakalbi had a shadow fall over her, and her ears pulled back.
“Do you mean to say you want to go out on the water? Risk the ecological balance for… dinner?”
Andy looked Sakalbi dead in the eye and gave her a firm nod. “Why don’t you come out and see how we did this before you got here. Think of it as a chance to see the way we’ve fished for the last hundred or so years, and then I can explain the way we used to fish before that.”
The offer snapped Rhaxiid out of his confusion and he brightened. “A learning experience? Wonderful, we’ll make a day of it!” His hands shot out to grab both his wives’ and Kalai could feel the vibrations in the floor from where he was excitedly tapping his feet.
“If you don’t mind hard, smelly work. Uncle Willy always called it ‘the worst desk in the prettiest office.' It’ll be a bit cramped, but I’ve got room on the boat for a few guests and observers; four I think would be ok. She’s a working boat, not a pleasure cruiser,” Andy explained. That sent the whole lot of them excitedly talking among themselves.
Kalai was about to lean in to talk to Mama Aftasia, but Andy caught her attention first. “I don’t suppose you’d want to go back out on the water, given you just got back from pleasure-boating-”
Kalai’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. “I wouldn’t miss it for my own colony planet!”
--------------------
Kalai stood on the pier, bundled in her thermal sailor’s coat. It was still dark and the wind blew from the north in a cold little morning breeze. Kalai took a deep breath and reveled in the smell of the fresh sea air. The soft chattering of Mama Sakalbi’s teeth broke the silence. “It’s a bit chillier than it said it was going to be.”
“The water always does that. It’s never as warm as the lubbers say it’ll be,” Papa spoke as he handed her back her thermos of hot chocolate.
Papa stood next to Kalai and nudged her with his elbow. Even in the dark, Kalai could see him smile up at her and jerk his head at the shivering Erbian. He was also wearing a thermal sailor’s coat, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets to keep them warm, just like Kalai’s. “Landswoman,” he whispered to her and the two of them shared a knowing smile. It was strange, but welcome when she'd told Papa about her upcoming day fishing with Andy, and he’d politely requested to join them. Papa Rhaxiid had graciously given his spot up to accommodate her birth father. Narny was all for it until Andy had explained what they were going to do, but then surrendered his challenge to the fourth guest space, not wanting to go anywhere NEAR anything that could see him come face to face with a Lion’s Mane Jelly. Sitry had done a happy little dance when she found out, but only yesterday had come down with Thistle Fever, and was bundled off to bed by her parents. It left Kalai, Mama Sakalbi, and Papa to accompany Andy on his fishing trip.
The water brushed against the shore behind them quietly. In the gloom, Kalai could just barely make out the outline of the nearest island mountain, but only because the stars had disappeared behind it. It was almost four in the morning, but Kalai had managed a catnap on the shuttle to the empty little lot that had been the boat launch. Aside from the water, the world was silent. Even the breeze made almost no noise and a sense of peace surrounded them. Everything was so calm, Kalai felt like she didn’t have a care in the world.
In the distance, a low rumbling sound of a motor rose from being almost imperceptible to a rolling drum of thunder. From around the point, two green floating lights sped through the darkness, and a spotlight turned on. The beam of light moved jerkily until it came to rest on the pier where they were standing and Kalai started waving her arms. Sakalbi’s omnipad rang, and Andy’s voice shouted over the speaker and the background noise for them to shine a light on the edge of the pier to help him park the boat.
Kalai and Papa moved closer and turned their omnipad flashlights on and waved them as the boat swung gracefully around and glided in alongside them. Kalai caught the rope that flew over the railing of the boat and she heard more than saw Andy moving around on the deck as she tied off on one of the mooring cleats. Several lights clicked on and the deck was bathed in light enough for Kalai to get a clear view of the boat they’d be spending the day on.
Andy hadn’t lied. Kalai saw that this little vessel was a working boat with no frills at all. When he’d told her they’d be going fishing, she’d envisioned something like the charter boat papa had taken her on out of Nantucket. Sporty, fast with a nod to comfort and function. This was not that at all. A giant wheel as wide as Kalai’s outstretched arms that looked like a sideways spool of thread was secured to the deck amidships and dominated the deckspace. Wrapped around it was a fluorescent green tangle with a line of oblong white and yellow corks and rope. There was a covered hatchway sitting behind the drum in front of the raised step to the enclosed cabin. Two large windows let the light out to two children’s bunks, a little table with a booth seat and a raised captain’s chair in front of the helm and engine controls. Andy shut down the engine and that peaceful stillness returned.
“Oway there!” Kalai called, “ship oway! Request permission to come aboard.” Kalai gave the traditional greeting of a Shil’vati sailor.
“Permission granted! Anyone need a stepstool?” Andy finally stepped into the light and Kalai got a look at him. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and the same bright orange coveralls she’d seen the fishmongers wearing on their date.
“I wouldn’t mind a hand, Mr. Shelokset.” Papa He’osforos braced a foot on the railing of the boat and Andy pulled him up.
“Just call me Andy, Doc, and welcome aboard. Jackie should be along any minute now with the day’s groceries, and the cabin’s out of the cold. You can get yourself set wherever you find comfortable.” Papa nodded and disappeared around the other side of the wheel moving towards the bow.
Kalai helped Mama Sakalbi into the boat next, and she quickly ducked into the cabin that took up the entire stern section save for a little ledge that ran along the outside. Andy gripped Kalai’s hand and she smiled as he pulled her deftly aboard. The boat rocked a little on its mooring, and Kalai almost fell into Andy, who wordlessly put his arms around her waist to catch her as she lost her balance. She flailed for a moment before she steadied herself against him.
“Gotcha,” Andy smiled, and Kalai could see him flush almost as much as she could feel herself doing as their noses almost touched. Those big dark brown eyes surrounded by white orbs drew her in and she felt she could lose herself in them. Kalai started as Andy danced her around him and moved her towards the cabin door.
“It might be a little cramped for you in there, but the Mary Jean wasn’t built for pleasure boating, she’s a working girl. Sit tight, I gotta check a few things in the back.” Andy patted the railing affectionately before he hopped up and scooted along the outside of the cabin towards the stern. Kalai couldn’t help the little longing groan that came out as he left her there on the little tiny quarterdeck. Her heart was hammering in her chest as half formed fantasies danced at the edges of her mind.
“I saw that, little minnow.” Papa’s voice was soft, but his tone and the sudden broken silence nearly gave her a heart attack.
Kalai could only stammer as her father stared at her with a cocked eyebrow. A thump from the cabin window behind saw an amused Mama Sakalbi daintily sipping at her thermos with her ears twitched forward in interest, staring out at her. “Papa I… he-”
Papa moved carefully around the covered hatchway to stand next to her, leaning back against the cabin window and heaved a sigh. “I must say I’m surprised. This lovely man’s got good clean lines and is very well cared for. It speaks well of his Skipper.”
It took a full minute for Kalai’s brain to process that he was talking about the boat and not Andy. “And the way Andy brought him in smooth in near complete darkness? It gives me confidence in his abilities.”
Kalai breathed a silent sigh of relief and exasperation. Although she was happy to be spending more time with her father, bringing him on what she’d hoped would be a sailing date wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind for ‘family time’. He wants me to find a nice young man and spend time with him on a boat, but the first chance I get Papa decides to clam-jam me.
From up on shore, the sound and lights of a large human vehicle screeching to a halt heralded the last of their party to arrive. Kalai heard the clomping footsteps coming down the pier and moved to the railing to lend a hand.
“Ahoy Mary Jean! Raggedy Andy, you there?” Kalai stared with wide eyed surprise to see a human female, loaded down with plastic bags and sporting two human weapons on her shoulder. The two of them locked eyes, and while Kalai didn’t understand everything the girl shouted in surprise, she had caught and understood the phrase, “What the fuck?”
“Easy now, they’re my guests, and the one inside is the boss!” Andy appeared on the pier instantly before either Kalai or the woman could react further.
“Ya didn’t tell me we were having pur-” The woman glared at Kalai and her father. She had switched to Vatikre thankfully, but her tone was hostile as she dropped everything but her weapons. “I mean, hwun’eetums, aboard. A gal could get the wrong idea pretty quick in the dark when there’s no warning.”
“Knock it off Jackie. Let’s get the grub aboard and shove off.” Andy picked up some of the bags and took the guns as Kalai offered a helping hand over the railing. “Oh, Kalai, this is Jackie. Jackie? Kalai. That’s her dad over there, Doc He’osforos. He saw and treated Kay Tee a few years back.” Andy jerked his head towards the direction of Kalai’s father as she held out a hand to the human girl. On a quick inspection, she appeared to be about the same age as her and Andy. She had a round face and was about as dark complected as Andy was. She was shorter, only a few inches taller than Papa, but when Jackie grabbed Kalai’s hand to hop up onto the rail, she could feel the strength and the compact muscle hidden by the baggy sweatshirt and pants.
“Wait a minute, did you say Mini-Me over there saw Kay Tee? You’re fuckin’ with me!” Jackie stumbled a bit as she hopped down onto the deck with a loud thunk and advanced on Papa who shrank away at her advance. “You saw li’l Kay Tee? Where the fuck is he? Is he alright? Is he still fighting the good fight?”
“Last I saw, yes, he was ‘fighting the good fight.’” Papa looked over at Andy with a slightly worried expression. Andy smacked the girl in the back of the head, causing her to flinch and she opened the door to the cabin for Andy to go inside.
Jackie rubbed the back of her head and laughed. “Well that’s a little bit of alright, innit? Maybe today’s gonna be a good day after all!”
“Jackie, get suited up and get on the bow. I need a good pair of eyes on the roller horns,” Kalai heard Andy shout from the cabin, followed by a whole lot of thumping and banging from cabinets being opened and closed.
“You got it, ol’ man. We going to your place or mine?” Jackie sidestepped in and opened a tiny little closet and pulled out a set of rain gear that was identical to what Andy was wearing. Kalai collected herself and stood in the doorway next to her father as they both leaned in.
“Mine; Chuck said the Yaw’much are running from the South. We’ll do a set nor’west of Lummi in the Rosario and see if we can get some Fraser Kings,” Andy replied as he turned the engine back on and the vessel roared to life.
“Chuck? Isn’t that one of your cousins? I didn’t know he could keep track of the movements of Salmon, may I ask how he does it?” Mama Sakalbi perked up as she pulled a set of earplugs out of a pocket and inserted them.
Andy prevaricated a bit, looking from Jackie back to Sakalbi then to Kalai and Papa. “I’d rather not answer that-”
“Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law! Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law!”
Jackie began singing a human song, and Andy threw her the dirtiest of looks as she finished getting into the orange coveralls. Mama Sakalbi sputtered as Andy shrugged apologetically.
“Make a hole!” Jackie called, and she and Andy came back out as Kalai and Papa made room for them. Andy hopped back onto the dock to cast off while Papa ducked into the cabin.
“Can I help?” Kalai offered as Andy shoved the vessel off and leapt the gap over the black water below.
“You want to be useful? Come forward! I could use an extra set of eyes!” Jackie called back, and Kalai felt a slap on her shoulder from the boisterous human woman.
------------------
Andy stood at the helm, watching Jackie and Kalai as he leaned to get a better view of them past the Net drum. The bow was lifting up again, and the gentle little swells became like speed bumps, jostling them up and down in a predictable bouncing rhythm.
“Are you sure you couldn’t slow down, Andy? It’s a bit rough, don’t you think?” Sakalbi was hanging on to the table and her thermos with a worried expression on her face.
“I could, but we’ll miss the morning set. We want to bomb out the buoy right when the tide changes. If we’re lucky, then we’ll get around seventy or eighty by slack tide this afternoon and call it a day.”
“How do you know where to fish?” Dr. He’osforos was making a good show of standing and maintaining his balance with his hand on the booth.
“Well, there’s two ways you know. The first is you fish the spots your family’s fished since time began. Every family has about two or three different secret spots that we know there’s fish in, and we’re pretty defensive about their locations. The second is by smell. Right now it’s the tail end of the King season, and you can smell them in the water.” Andy turned and saw the incredulity etched on the faces of the two aliens.
“No, I’m serious! King Salmon slime is really pungent, and you can smell them when they’re close to the surface. We get to the fishing spot and take a deep whiff. If we smell them, we’ll set the nets.” Andy laughed at the disbelief on their faces as the GPS on his omnipad beeped and he turned to sail around the last buoy and head for the fishing ground.
“I’ve never noticed that in any of the Kings we’ve raised-”
Andy suppressed a laugh as they caught a larger swell as they left the lee of Lummi Island. Andy reveled in the feeling of weightlessness as the deck rose up and fell out from underneath their feet, leaving everyone suspended for a moment in midair before falling back down. A massive spray of water rose and washed over the deck, drenching Kalai and Jackie, who were still forward. “Cloned and farmed Kings don’t have that same smell. Wild ones smell and taste different, I’m telling you!” Andy pulled back slightly on the throttle as they climbed the next swell. “Brace!” he called as they climbed and fell once again.
There was a look of fear on Sakalbi’s face as she gripped the table for dear life, but to Andy’s surprise, the Doctor looked completely unfazed, and was handling the rise and fall of the deck like an old salt. “You look like you’ve done this before, Doc.”
“I’ve done a stint or two at sea before,” he spoke, in the same tone Andy would have used when trying not to sound too confident, and Andy smiled.
“Kalai keeps talking about loving the sea and sailing. Did you teach her to sail?”
“Yes, me and her mothers. When they were home, we would take the family yacht out in the Vaascon Straits and sail around the Occidiens. Kalai practically spent all her early childhood on a sailboat.”
“And almost every waking moment on one in Junior Academy. I swear you couldn’t dig her out with a trowel when she wanted to go sailing,” Sakalbi managed to add in a word as the boat slowed, and the dramatic rise and fall of the deck slowed with it.
“What about you, Mr. Shelokset, did your father teach you to sail too?”
“I was too young before he passed. My Great Uncle Willy taught me after I came home, and Grandma took me out to the family fishing sites when she wasn’t busy with the Council. For the first two or three years after they let us come home, fishing was the only way to feed our families, but the Militia and the Cambrians would try and sink our boats or arrest us whenever we tried to go out.”
“And that’s why you’re so good at maneuvering your vessel in the dark with no instruments?” Mrs. Vaida had folded her arms, and her voice twinged with that imperious tone she’d had when they’d first met.
Andy huffed a dry laugh. “I did what I had to for me and my people and to survive, Ma’am. I don’t like breaking the law or dodging lasers and gunfire, but there’s a lot of poor families that need to eat.”
The GPS beeped, and Andy gave Mrs. Vaida a slightly defiant look to counter her furrowed brow. “We’re here,” he said as he threw the engine in neutral and opened the cabin door.
Andy walked out and took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the net and the exhaust from the engine. “HEY JACKIE! WE SMELL MONEY?” Andy yelled out as he took stock of the sky. The first signs of sunrise were chasing all but the morning stars away and a light fog was rolling in from the north.
“FUCK YEAH I CAN SMELL ‘EM, ANDY! LET’S BOMB OUT AND GET BREAKFAST GOING!” Jackie looked slightly manic as she smiled brightly. Kalai, on the other hand, looked wet and miserable as she shivered, arms wrapped around herself. Andy gave his cousin a disgusted look as he pieced together what had happened. Every deckhand learned when to duck behind the raised bow and the roller horns that guided the nets so as not to get a faceful of spray when cutting through a swell. It was also a classic hazing trick for Senior Deckhands to let Junior Deckhands learn this the hard way.
Andy moved forward to stand in front of the two of them. Kalai was trying to squeeze her coat dry, but Andy knew it wouldn’t do much good until the sun came out. Jackie at least had the sense to look a little remorseful. “Kalai, why don’t you go sit in the cabin and get out of that wet coat. It’s cold enough out here even for us-”
“No way, Andy. Junior deckhand Kally here wants to impress you and get her dainty soft hands dirty! She’s been bragging about being a sailorwoman and wants to learn to fish ‘your way!” Jackie gave Kalai’s shoulder a wet slap as the poor alien woman went blue. Out of cold or embarrassment, Andy couldn’t tell.
All Andy could do was shake his head and huff. “Ok then! Secure the buoy and sling on my mark. I’ll get us in position!” Andy couldn’t help but chuckle as he heard Jackie start ordering Kalai about. Andy went back into the cabin and looked in the closet/bathroom to see if there was anything hanging up that he could give Kalai. There was only the one rain slicker and a few of Andy’s old sweaters from when he was a lot smaller. Well, looks like I’ll just be cold today. He quickly stripped out of his sweatshirt and grabbed the slicker before throwing a switch on the main control. Dr. He’osforos and Mrs. Vaida threw him quizzical looks as he went back outside wearing less than when he came in. He was down to a sleeveless shirt and his coveralls, and the morning breeze cut right through him and he braced his jaw to keep it from chattering.
“We’re ready to go- Andy, why are you practically naked from the waist up?” Kalai was staring wide eyed at him as he approached her and Jackie was on the bow. Jackie had everything ready; the buoy line was strung through the horns and ready to toss out. A giant orange and blue beach ball sized float hung at the end of the line to mark the end and make it easier to pick up later.
“Trade me your coat for these. If Jackie’s putting you to work, you’ll need these to keep warm.”
“I’m alright, I can-”
“I’m the Skipper of this boat, and I’m ordering you to take off that wet coat and put these on; and Jackie?” Andy gave his cousin a long and piercing look. “Give her the elbow gloves, not the halfsies.”
The scoff and the muttered Salishian profanities meant he’d read the next prank she’d had in mind right. She was planning on giving her the cloth gloves with only the palms and fingers coated in rubber. While perfectly fine for fishing, Andy knew they tended to get soaked through very quickly and did nothing to keep jellyfish stingers and fish slime off your hands. Kalai sputtered for a moment before she complied gratefully and she accepted the dry clothes and rain slicker.
Andy saw Jackie give him a strange look before looking back at Kalai, but he paid it no mind. He walked back to the controls on the drum and switched off the hydraulics, placing the mechanism in neutral. “SLING IT!” Andy called as he took the small jerry rigged steering wheel and threw the boat in reverse. Kalai jumped as the line started unspooling the net into the water at a rapid pace.
Andy set an ‘S’ bend in the quarter mile long net, zigzagging backwards until they came to the end of the line. Andy stopped the boat as Jackie tied off the other large buoy and tossed it over the side, unstringing the cork-line from the roller horns in the process. He pulled hard over and put a bit of distance from the net before shutting the engine down. The line of white and yellow corks marking the net bobbed lazily with the swells as silence settled over the water again. The waves rocked the boat gently as Andy found his sea legs again.
“Alright, I’ll get breakfast going. Jackie, Kalai? Post the watch for seals,” Andy called as he walked back into the cabin to fire up the tiny little gas stove.
Sakalbi, having found the confidence to stand at last, poked her head out of the cabin and stood on by the hatch to the fish hold. “Seals? Why would you need to watch for seals?”
Andy grit his teeth and looked over from where he was cracking open and scrambling eggs. “They’re the spawn of Satan and we hate their guts!” Andy bit out. Jackie came back and pulled the two shotguns and a pair of binoculars from the closet. Andy reached over to a side cabinet and pulled out a box of shells for them. Both his boss and the Doctor’s eyes got wide.
“Seals are the enemy of our blood. Were it not for the invasion, our unending war against these vermin would continue to this day!” Jackie growled as she loaded one for herself and rested the other on Andy’s seat at the helm.
The look of growing horror on Sakalbi’s face towards their facetious declarations caused Andy to chuckle a bit, before launching into an explanation. “We’re not fans of the species because they’ll wait until a fish gets caught in the net and then they’ll steal it, costing us a fish AND ripping a big hole in our nets that we then have to take time to repair. We use the shotguns and buckshot to give them a nice welt and convince them not to hang around, because they’ll wait up on the surface and watch the buoys, just like us. A single seal can and will take between five and ten fish. The worst is when they start getting full, they’ll just bite out the bellies of a salmon in the net. We can’t really do anything with that fish once it’s ‘seal-bit’. So yes, as fishermen, we hate them.”
“Learned opportunism in apex predators as a response to human activity… I think I’ll go see this behavior for myself!” Sakalbi practically rushed out the door towards the bow where Jackie was sitting on the roller horns explaining to Kalai how to spot the bastards, leaving Andy alone in the cabin with the Doctor while he cooked breakfast for them all.
Dr. He’osforos sat down heavily in the booth and pulled out his omnipad. “I’ve had a word with my friend in the Interior. She’s pulled the warrant for your brother, and I’ve withdrawn the charges I filed.”
Andy froze and turned around slowly. The only sound was the sizzle and pop of the eggs and chorizo that he’d added to them in the skillet. “You mean… it’s done? He can come home?” A wave of light headed euphoria swept over Andy and he swayed with the gentle rocking of the boat. “I will pay you back, Doc-”
The doctor held up his hand and stopped Andy. “We’ll call it even, but there’s something… I was able to get my hands on this,” Andy watched as the doctor swiped something towards his omnipad and it dinged. “What is it if I may-”
“Are you really asking an Indian to tell you a story? Because it’s going to be a long one if you are.” “I’m Sevastutavan, young man; we invented long stories.”
Andy froze and stared at the screen of his omnipad. The Vatikre was heavily accented, and Andy had a bit of trouble with the unfamiliar accent, but centered in the frame in a hospital room, sitting in a wheelchair, was a Salishian boy. Andy blinked in surprise as he stared at the screen. “Is that-”
“I am Ikw’is’hi’ehlah, and this bearer is… of the Orca Clan Sheloksets. I drove our Haida enemies onto the rocks and took many heads when they attacked our winter village on Orcas Island. I signed the Treaty with the Great White Father and I fought against the slavers of the south-”
Andy wanted to grab the omnipad but the smell of overcooking eggs brought his attention back to breakfast and Andy stirred and scrapped the food quickly, trying to save it.
“I asked her for any materials she could give me on your brother. Pictures, recordings, anything. This is what she gave me. It's the last known recording of your brother during an interrogation conducted by a Navy Commissar prior to his escape. It seems he made friends with a Pod of Deaths Head Commandos. Quite a bit of the recording has been redacted, but… there are portions of it where he talks about his family and his history. I thought you might like to have it.”
Andy hurriedly pulled out paper plates and a slice of bread for everyone and scooped a heaping portion of the chorizo eggs onto them. He handed the doctor his before leaning out the cabin door. “Slop’s on, come and get it!”
Andy sat down after moving the shotgun out of the way and started the video over again as the three women came back to grab their plates and lost himself watching his brother start telling his story.
“What’s that?” Andy heard Kalai ask over his shoulder, and he paused the video.
“That’s my brother! That’s Kay Tee!”
“Holy shit, what?” Jackie nearly shoved Kalai into Andy as she jammed her bread slice down her gullet and crowded in to see the screen.
Andy started the video over a second time and they watched in silence. “God, that brings back memories. Back when mom was still alive and before we broke up the warband. I can’t believe that slippery little punk ghosted a pod of Commandos for two fucking years! Holy shit, that’s badass!”
Before Andy could say anything, Sakalbi started coughing and brought the binoculars up. “Uh, Andy? Jackie? What do we do about sharks?”
Jackie looked at Andy in confusion. “Sharks? There’s nothing but Dogs around here.”
“Well those are shark fins and they’re charging the net!” Sakalbi pointed and Andy looked up to see dorsal fins charging the center of the net.
Andy looked at Jackie and spoke the same words in tandem, “Oh shit!”
​
First:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/yz0u3h/the_cryptid_chronicle_chapter_1/
Previous:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/13nh0oe/cryptid_chronicle_chapter_29/
Next:
To be posted 6/4/23

idk if i’ll be alive for much longer but below is what i wish my life looked like.
In my dreams i am a wife. I wake up next my best friend in the whole world every single day. We aren’t morning people so we don’t do much talking as much as 5 minutes of cuddling before it’s time to see him off for the day. In my dreams I send him on his way with a light lunch of grilled chicken salad with balsamic vinegar dressing and bocconcini (he doesn’t like anything too heavy bc it weighs him down, he’s blue collar and can’t get too tired from a heavy lunch), water, a slice of peach crumble cobbler i made the previous day, and a secret note with a stupid joke written inside. he says they’re corny but i know he secretly loves them. In my dreams, i send him off with a kiss.
In my dreams my marriage is happy - not perfect. I’m forgetful and i lose things and sometimes it makes us late to outings. sometimes he leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor instead of the hamper. but in my dreams we laugh so hard our stomachs cramp and i have to leave the room because just looking at him will keep me laughing, we hold one another’s hands during difficult conversations, and we spend time together separately: him reading, me painting - together but separate. in my dreams we have a healthy sex life. at least 3 times a week; it doesn’t feel performative or like a chore. we kiss, we giggle, we lose ourselves in the moment, we sigh and sweat, and moan into one another’s mouths. in my dreams we satisfy each other.
In my dreams we have community. i don’t have family as i grew up in a toxic household but i have my chosen family/friendship. i’m close with his mother and his little brother comes over to hang out with him because he looks up to him. in my dreams we host dinners every few months with our loved ones. the lighting is low, the record is a jazz vinyl, everyone’s telling stories and listening intently, his hand is on my leg under the table.
in my dreams, i am a mother. i get to spend my time at home with my kids(s) 2 maybe 3. but i’d be happy if it were just one. i’d be lucky. in my dreams we are making mud pies outside and talking about the sensory aspects of it: cold, wet, gritty. in my dreams we take walks to the brook and hop along the rocks and use our binoculars to watch birds and squirrels in the trees. in my dreams, i get to watch my kid(s) be kids. to run, jump, play, scream, laugh, cry. i get to put bandaids on their knee caps and teach them to ride a bike. in my dreams we finger paint during rainy days and sing karaoke in the car on the way to the grocery store. i read bedtime stories from the books i saved in my closet from my childhood. they like the same stories but also have their own favorites. in my dreams, i do night checks: all clear, no monsters! i’ll leave the door cracked in case you call for me. in my dreams there’s matching PJs on Christmas morning and hot cocoa on the stove.
in my dreams my husband, my best friend, my rock, life partner, my mountain of a man yet also my sensitive sweet man returns from work. i kiss him like i haven’t seen him in 3 days (i’m wearing the perfume he likes). he hands me flowers (white roses and pink gladiolus). i made beef ribs that had been cooking for 3 hours with mashed potatoes and grilled broccoli. in my dreams our child(ren) reach for him and they share highlights of their day with one another. i watch lovingly from the doorway. in my dreams we sit down to eat as a family and talk about maybe adopting a rescue pup this weekend.
in my dreams we clean up the kitchen and watch a little TV before bed, we get through two episodes of our current show. we turn out the lights, i check for monsters and leave the door cracked. we head to bed, we giggle and sigh and satisfy. we fall asleep and begin to dream. in my dreams…. (start from the top)

Hello everyone!
I'm a third-year piano student and I'm about to start considering graduate school. I have run into a small issue - I'm not sure what I want to do! It sounds like a silly question, so I'll elaborate.
I've been playing the piano since I was around 4-5 years old. I really do enjoy it, but I also enjoy singing (I've been singing since I was ten, and start training classically around 12-13), and recently I've found that I love conducting. My experiences in singing professionally with the Nashville Symphony Chorus exposed me to a LOT of orchestral repertoire, and excited me to learn more. For about a year or so, I was certain that I wanted to pursue my Master's in Orchestral conducting; now, I'm not so sure what I want to pursue.
Some of this is coming as an afterthought to a Zoom meeting I had with Maestro Markand Thakar from the Baltimore Chamber Orchestra, where he said (paraphrased) "if there is something more stable you can do as a musician, really delve into that." He said that in the context of there being so few conductor positions, compared to how many people want to do it.
So, I'm turning to you all for help in answering a question of where I want to be, by asking you all, "how did you get to where you are?" I would really love the help of people who have attained their Master of Music in some capacity, but I'm happy to ask anyone who wants to answer.

A messy and confusing family fantasy James Bond spoof that has clear effort, but lack of structure or direction.
In Medieval France, a young prince named Frederic (Edmund Kingsley) is taught by his father the Magician King (Michal Hordern) various spells and lives a happy life with him. Unbeknownst to Frederic and the King, the King's jealous sister, Messina (Billie Whitelaw), is planning to kill the king and usurp the power of the throne having already arranged for the death of Frederic's mother some year's back using her black magic. Messina disguises herself as a serpent and scares the King's horse and the King dies as a result of her actions. Messina is left as the kingdom's ruler with Frederic as his ward til he comes of age, but Messina uses her magic to transform Frederic into a frog and reveals her true intentions. Frederic is saved by a chance encounter with the Loch Ness monster, Nessie (Phyllis Logan), and Messina is forced to retreat. Sometime later Frederic has grown (now voiced by Ben Kingsley) and is now the French Secret Serivde's top secret agent Freddie aka F. R. O.7. Britain is beset by a series of disappearances of its most famous monuments and with the British Secret Service lacking in manpower, its head Brigadier G (Nigel Hawthorne) requests the French government loan Freddie to them. Freddie is teamed with two other agents, martial artist Daffers (Jenny Agutter) who also has a crush on Freddie, and weapons inventor Scotty (John Sessions). As the group investigate the disappearance of the monuments they come to discover the culprits are a criminal organization known as The Snake which is lead by Freddie's aunt Messina and her husband El Supremo (Brian Blessed) who are bent on taking over Britain using the latent energy hidden within its monuments with grander sights on world domination.
Freddie as F. R. O.7 (aka Freddie the Frog) was one of many animated films released throughout the 90s that tried to capitalize on the revised interest in theatrical animation that began in the 80s with Don Bluth's films An American Tail and Land Before Time and exploded with the likes of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and The Little Mermaid. While many animated Disney films were massively successful such as Aladdin which became the highest grossing film of 1992, non-Disney productions tended to struggle with misfires like Ferngully: The Last Rainforest and An American Tail: Fivel Goes West failing to light any fires at the box office, or foreign animations like Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland, The Princess and the Goblin, or The Magic Voyage primed for international appeal only to fizzle out due to either distribution problems or production issues. South London-based Hollywood Road Films was an independent animation studio whose writeproducedirector Jon Acevski based the film off the bedtime stories he'd tell his child about the adventures his stuffed animal frog toy had and unfortunately that becomes really apparent. While as an animated production it doesn't carry the same weight and polish as contemporary Disney productions or even Amblimation movies of the time like Fivel Goes West or We're Back, it does look a cut above some animated features I've seen, but the script is a mess and there's only so much that the bevy of high profile British talent can bring to get a purse from a Sow's ear.
To describe the plot of Freddie as F. R. O.7 (or Freddie the Frog as it was called in the SGE re-edit in 1995) is akin to describing a fever dream. What starts in a typical "fairy tale kingdom" goes to a jazzy community of anthropomorphic frogs, which in turn goes to a fantastical take on Bond/eurospy tropes and finally to borderline Star Wars type settings that if you were to show individual stretches of this film out of context to someone unfamiliar with it, odds are they wouldn't believe those segments were from the same film. The movie has a very loose narrative and that makes sense considering Acevski told these kinds of adventure stories to his young child about his stuffed frog toy, but that kind of loose narrative is okay when it's being told to a half-asleep child whose age is in the low single digits and not for a theatrical animated film that needs to have a greater sense of cohesion for the audience to grasp onto. With its mixture of spy tropes, fairy tale tropes, and some rather questionable innuendos, double entendres, and some jaw dropping scenes involving (no joke) dancing Klansman and foot soldiers dressed in Nazi chic, it's the kind of movie that's too busy and complicated for kids to follow, but it's also too shallow and non sensical for adults to get engaged with either. Speaking of the dancing Klansman and Nazis, the movie is also a musical and quite a bad one at that. Most of the songs are either bland or forgettable, and when they do happen they're usually dead stops that do absolutely nothing to further the story (what little there is anyway). Evilmania is the song featuring the Klansman and Nazis and outside of the "What!?" factor it's a pretty shapeless song where Billie Whiteclaw isn't even really singing and is more speaking while the song plays with no sense of rhythm or melody.
I will say there's an impressive cast on paper. The movie features an absolute dream cast of some of Britain's best with the likes of Ben Kingsley, Brian Blessed, Jonathan Pryce, Nigel Hawthorne, and a few others and you couldn't ask for a better line-up of talent. Kingsley sounds like he's having fun playing up the French "hon! Hon! Hon!" stereotypical voice which is like a more restrained Pepe le Pew in terms of subtlety, but most of the other members of the cast are just filling types and places. Nigel Hawthorne's character Brigadier G has a particularly bad running gag of constantly getting tangled up in phone cords and inadvertently insulting high ranking government officials or foreign dignitaries and they do this gag four times and it never builds upon it or does anything different with it. Most of the set pieces that aren't related to the monument thefts just feel like "visual noise" that's well animated enough I suppose, but there's no narrative drive pushing us through these set pieces and the emotional core is rather lacking with Messina having killed both of Freddie's parents but Freddie doesn't seem all that engaged with her as an antagonist.
Freddie as F. R. O.7 has remained relatively obscure since its financial and critical failure in 1992 and that's rather unfortunate because while the movie doesn't work, it's utterly fascinating in why it doesn't work. With head scratching creative choices, a story that feels like it began as a mad lib, a cast made up of some of Britain's finest actors, and elements like dancing Nazis and Klansmen odds are you've never seen anything try so hard while falling face first. In an era where many European produced animated features are thinly veiled Shrek knock-offs there's something almost nostalgic about movies like this that serve as a reminder of how much the animation landscape has changed. I can't say it's "good" but you'll remember it. To date the movie hasn't been released on DVD, Blu-ray, or digital storefronts, but the film does survive from the old VHS rips on Youtube. It's only about 79 minutes long so not a terribly costly time investment.

Views	Channel	Video
20974016	DONA Việt Nam	trang điểm sô cô la Chocolate Makeup Mukbang #shorts
17021878	Biku entertainment	Eating Challenge||ASMR||elephant,kinder joy,pineapple eating||bikram phuyal #biku #asmr #mukbang
8492661	CuRe 구래	Seoul street food MUKBANG🍧🍡 #shorts #funny #viral
4996222	CuRe 구래	Random Rainbow food MUKBANG🍭 #shorts
4070021	PIN KORO	Opila Bird Mukbang but BLUE...?😂Garten of Banban Funny Animation #shorts #youtubeshorts #animation
3477748	FatSongsong and ThinErmao	mukbang | Watch how I eat chicken feet | funny mukbang | funny video | fatsongsong and thinermao
2645896	Bricks World	Lego Mukbang KFC Chicken Fast Food With COCOMELON | Bricks World Stop Motion Cooking Asmr
2615699	Mukbang Bersama Bent	Efek Samping Minum Kopi☕️ #asmr #mukbang #makansesuaiemoji #coffee #efeksampingkopi
2198894	Biku entertainment	Biku Eating||ASMR||jelly,momo,icecream eating||bikram phuyal #biku #asmr #mukbang #funny #eating
1813533	Mukbang Bersama Bent	Makan Serba Hijau💚 #asmr #mukbang #makansesuaiemoji #noreaction #wasabi #greentea
1792213	Big and Fast Eaters	Super chunks of braised pork! | TikTok Video|Eating Spicy Food and Funny Pranks|Funny Mukbang
1717727	Big and Fast Eaters	Not happy without washing the dishes | TikTok Video|Eating Spicy Food and Funny Pranks|Funny Mukbang
1578334	ASMR Lilibu	What's Next? ASMR Jelly Cola Mukbang #shorts
1515960	tzuyang쯔양	버블티 7L 먹을 수 있을까?🤔 줄서서 먹는 아마스빈 버블티 먹방
1447047	HAHADO	ASMR Mukbang | Delicious Rare Wubbox Eating Spicy Noodles, Seafood /My Singing Monsters
1410747	Aapka Bhai Foody	5 स्टार जैसा खाना 🤩 रोड पर मिल रहा है 😱 Indian Street Food #shorts #youtubeshorts
1394801	A급 장영란	군침 도는 장영란 아들딸 먹방
1363046	Weni Noto	MANUSIA RAKUS JADI MUKBANG SILUMAN #shorts
1356494	[햄지]Hamzy	Real mukbang:) What do you think how much is this Salad bread?😯☆ Dessert is watermelon 🍉
1341846	Hongyu ASMR 홍유	ASMR RAINBOW DESSERTS 신기한 무지개 디저트 RAINBOW DRINKS EYEBALL GUMMY KOHAKUTO MARSHMALLOW EATING MUKBANG먹방
1332656	FatSongsong and ThinErmao	mukbang | food recipes | Chilli Sauce | Chili Chicken | songsong and ermao | Collection 1
1327794	[햄지]Hamzy	Real mukbang:) heating up stir-fried jjamppong more which is already hot ☆ dessert is melon 🍈
1317787	tzuyang쯔양	🔥오랜만에 신전떡볶이 격파🔥 매운 떡볶이와 튀김 신전김밥 먹방
1301273	문복희 Eat with Boki	SUB)요즘 핫한 불그리라면에 바삭 구운 통대창 먹방!🔥 불닭볶음면 너구리 레전드 꿀조합 리얼사운드 Tripes & Ramyeon Mukbang Asmr
1266666	Big and Fast Eaters	Shout out to eat! | TikTok Video|Eating Spicy Food and Funny Pranks|Funny Mukbang
1234686	PRISKA AQUILLA	ADA YANG TAU CARA MAKANNYA? #food #mukbang #viral #foodie #instant #asmr #candy
1183675	Big and Fast Eaters	I ate ribs for two days in a row | TikTok Video|Eating Spicy Food and Funny Pranks|Funny Mukbang
1157439	NEW INFO	ASMR MUKBANG | RABBIT EATING FOOD bell pepper 🫑 먹방 🐇 #04
1149044	tzuyang쯔양	초등학생 형제한테 인정받았습니다🤣 특이한 치킨 3마리에 떡볶이 먹방
1144616	푸먹_foomuk	즐거운(?) 찜질방 먹방! - 애니먹방/ Jjimjilbang Mukbang/Animation ASMfoomuk
1094692	기기묘묘	먹방 유튜버도 포기한 음식 #shorts
1087812	HUBA후바	Left or Right? ( Green VS Yellow Cocktail mix Food Challenge ) | Funny Mukbang | HUBA #shorts
1083804	[상윤쓰]Sangyoon	저 결혼합니다🎉 장모님과 로제마라샹궈 통대창 먹방 ! Mala xiang guo & Whole tripe Mukbang asmr
1030750	Mr sohag Facts	😔কাঁচা মাংস খাওয়া এই ব্যক্তি এটা কি করলো❓#shorts
1029053	MaddyEats	SPICY SPICY SPICY🌶️ CHICKEN SCHEZWAN NOODLES,CHICKEN GRAVY LOLLIPOP,CHILLI CHICKEN, CHICKEN KATORI
990858	Big and Fast Eaters	Handsome people go first | TikTok Video|Eating Spicy Food and Funny Pranks|Funny Mukbang
981342	Best Ever Food Review Show	Facing Peru’s Extreme Food!! Exotic Meat of South America!!
980454	Spice ASMR	ASMR EATING SPICY MUTTON KEEMA KORMA,MUTTON CURRY,EGG CURRY,BASMATI RICE,SALAD *MUKBANG*
952320	Mukbang Bersama Bent	Makan Silver Play Button⬜️ Eating Silver Play Button #asmr #mukbang #100ksubscribers
881485	Biku entertainment	Eating Challenge||ASMR||cream donut,elephant eating||bikram phuyal #biku #asmr #mukbang #funny
875551	Rans Entertainment	CIPUNG AUTO LAHAP!! MUKBANG BARENG NAGITA,SAMPE KENYAAANG!
873591	tanboy kun	MUKBANG CABE DIGORENG TEPUNG MANDI CABE !!
871324	Big and Fast Eaters	Today there is a beautiful woman washing the dishe | TikTok Video|Eating Spicy Food | Mukbang
818733	dedekiyaw	komen dong emoji dari kamu.. 🤤 #emoji #makanemojienak #mukbang #asmr #funny #lucu #kocak #dedekiyaw
803176	운동부 둘이 왔어요	[EN] 100회 특집! 안정환 & 유희관과 함께한 운동부 100회 한우 먹방 [둘이 왔어요 EP100]
793076	Munik ASMR	Asmr Mukbang - Seringas Aceita
782552	문복희 Eat with Boki	SUB)학교 앞 떡볶이 먹방! 바삭한 김말이 오징어튀김에 매운오뎅 김밥 순대까지 분식 꿀조합 리얼사운드 Tteokbokki Mukbang Asmr
782020	HUBA후바	REAL FOOD VS CHOCOLATE FOOD CHALLENGE ( Broccoli and Beef Steak ) Funny Mukbang #shorts
767290	Mukbang Bersama Bent	Makan Emoji 🍉🌶🥦🍳🍣, Next #makansesuaiemoji apa lagi?? #asmr #mukbang #videomakan
759038	PRISKA AQUILLA	MAHAL vs MURAH #food #mukbang #viral #instant #makanan #foodie #candy
734547	감스트GAMST	감스트 맛없는 음식 챌린지 14단계!! 후...
725958	Mukbang Bersama Bent	Makanan Kesukaan JOKOWI #asmr #mukbang #makansesuaiemoji #presidenri #jokowi #makananindonesia
721816	GONGSAM TABLE 이공삼	ASMR MUKBANG 편의점 핵불닭 미니!! 떡볶이 & 핫도그 & 김밥 FIRE Noodle & HOT DOG & GIMBAP EATING SOUND!
721721	FatSongsong and ThinErmao	mukbang | eating mukbang | food recipes | eating seafood | chinese food | songsong and ermao
708354	[AmiAmi]아미아미	ASMR 간단하게 불닭짬뽕 대창 1kg 리얼먹방 :) 1kg of spicy ramen daechang MUKBANG
670685	문복희 Eat with Boki	SUB)김치가 맛있을 땐! 흰쌀밥에 쓱 올려서 먹방🍚 동파육은 거들 뿐 Kimchi Mukbang Asmr
660367	Poopigirl	ASMR ORANGE #shorts #mukbang #asmr #food
657187	Ashley Loves Condiments	Based on actual events. #shortsyoutube #shortsfeed #eatingshow
653444	More Best Ever Food Review Show	Pizza Hut Vietnam Creates Worm Pizza!! Asia’s Wildest Pizzas!!
643698	흥삼이네 Heungsam's Family	온 가족이 함께 먹는 맛있는 제육볶음에 싱싱한 계란후라이까지~ (Stir-fried pork) 요리&먹방!! - Mukbang eating show

Hello everyone! I’m here once again looking for the right one. The person I can talk to all day long. The one that makes me feel my heart jump out of my chest when I see a message or notification from her. The one I can call my best pal (doesn’t allow the frien_ word) and my forever all together.
A little about me: I’m not too interesting. I’m just a simple blue collar midwestern fella. I watch football on Sunday, Monday, and Thursday. I drink beer when I want to have a good time. I play video games with my buds when we’re all free. I am starting to collect sneakers again. I eat a lot. I am good at cooking (you’d have to get with me to find out ;)). I listen to music every single day (listening currently to See You Tonight by Scotty McCreery, but I listen to damn near everything). I watch tv and movies sometimes. Like I said, just a basic, loving Midwestern guy.
If you’re a biological woman (I fancy the idea of children one day), and any of this resonates with you and you want to see what we can get ourselves into, please give me a message! I’d love to hear from you! I’d love to see if we connect and where we can take an online relationship!
PS: I’m happy to share photos whenever you’re comfortable!
If you got this far, let me know you did. Say the word “orange” somewhere in your message (make sure you put “” around it so I know) and tell me what your age and location are, and your go to singing in the shower song!

I just left a birthday party with my 7yo daughter. Most of the kids there were from her class. There were a couple I didn’t recognize, including a girl that was seeming to have a hard time. I recognized some of her behaviors from other kids that I know are on the spectrum, but honestly she just seemed tired and overwhelmed which are behaviors I recognize from my own children. I felt for that mom. I wish I could have helped her but I didn’t know her. I didn’t know her child so I just focused on my own kid. When it came time for the piñata, this poor child had a meltdown. I’m not sure why but she was so upset. Her mom promptly removed her from the area. Well at some point my daughter asked this mom what was wrong with her daughter. So the mom approached me once all the kids came back for cake. She said my daughter asked her what was wrong with her daughter and she told her that she has autism. I was caught off guard because it really felt like there was more she wanted to say. I could tell she wasn’t happy but ultimately she didn’t say anything that expressed that she was angry. All I could think to say during the short interaction was “I’m so sorry. She really doesn’t have a filter for her curiosity. But thank you for explaining it to her”. Again, I felt like there was more she wanted to say but the kids started singing happy birthday and she turned her back to me then was gone after the song. I feel terrible because I’m not sure if I said something that would be offensive. I try my best to teach my daughter how to be sensitive to others feeling and I think she’s pretty good at it but she’s seven and in this scenario I think she wanted to see if the girl was ok but it didn’t come out that way. Was I insensitive? My mom brain is fried. I can’t tell anymore.

I need to get this out of my mind and into the void, so that I can restrain my desire to press my body against yours again... on accident, but maybe not. Just to feel every part of my being laugh with joy again. It's so hard to explain with words.
Even as I am going through extremely difficult times, I find myself feeling alive and hopeful. And it is not just because of you. I feel the aliveness of everything, myself included, I appreciate all the small joys of Spring. I love the wonderful people that have come into my life, even as I fight against drowning in the darkness of my past. A past I have worked so hard to leave behind because I am strong and capable. I feel fulfilled. I feel happy. I have areas that I know are fragile and I am actively working on them.
Despite all of this... When I am with you, I feel complete. I feel unbridled joy. At first I am shy and nervous but when you lean into me, when you look at me, when you touch me, my entire being starts to sing.
I meditate every day and focus on opening myself up to being in the present moment. I focus on compassion for myself and others. I focus on keeping myself from grasping. But when I am with you none of this matters. You are a wrecking ball made of daffodils and glitter. You are a soft landing.
I know I shouldn't feel these things for someone I don't know, but I love the feeling so much that I just want to enjoy it. Melt in to it. And dream that you feel the same.
You are an out of body experience and I love the way I feel when I'm with you. I don't know what it means and I don't know if you feel the same thing but holy shit. What a joy it is to be in your presence. Don't take it away from me too soon.