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Resolution of 1516
January-April 1517, North Muscovy
The winter of 1517 was a particularly brutal winter, even by Russian standards. Both the Swedish and Livonian armies were forced to hunker down as the snows swirled around them. With both King Sten Svantesson and Wolter Von Plettenberg seeking to replenish their losses, they would have to wait until snow yielded to rain in the spring Rasputitsa. It was during this wet time that both of the reinforcement armies arrived. In this time of limited operational mobility, both armies moved to secure more of the Novgorod area. The Polish army, on the other hand, had withdrawn from the area to regroup further south, in a grand ducal army with the Lithuanians. An army from Pskov was also raised by their commanding general. Jan Radziwiłł died soon after he set out from the city, paralyzing his mourning army. By the end of April, both armies finally began their triumphal march out of their winter quarters to continue the crusade against Muscovy.
May 1517, Former Duchy of Rzhev
The two armies set out in two groups heading south east. The Swedish army's goal is the city of Tver, and the Livonian army‘s goal is the city of Rzhev. As has been a common pattern in this war so far, the scouting of the four armies is mostly lackluster. The stars had aligned so that the two Russian armies would attack the Livonian army, whose scouts were underperforming in these wide open spaces. As has also been a pattern in the war so far, the Russians fail to coordinate their attacks. Plettenberg’s army would meet Mozhaisky’s outside of Goroshin.
The First and Second Battles of Goroshin, July 1517
With both armies taking up excellent positions, the battle would begin with a textbook artillery opener from the Livonian forces. This will be followed up by a monstrous hail of arrows from the seemingly endless Muscovites archers, greatly thinning the Livonian infantry. As the terrain here around the Volga is poor for cavalry, the Livonian knights unhappily dismount to fight as heavy infantry. The Muscovites brought plenty of mounted skirmishers, but their effectiveness would be limited by the wet ground. With the knights proper dismounted off their horses, this left only the Livonian squires as the cavalry forces for the Livonians. This would prove to be an excellent move as the lighter armored cavalry men would not be slowed down by the knights’ heavy armor. The Muscovite left flank could not hold a candle to those young squires, eager to prove themselves, and they were the first to leave the field. Despite this initial victory, the Muscovites would not let them have it easy. The large numbers of Muscovites mounted skirmishers would rain javelins upon their enemies, unchallenged by the Livonians. It would, however, be the squires that once again would prove the nail in the Muscovite coffin as the Muscovite right cavalry flank was scattered by their spirited fighting. The horn to signal the retreat was soon sounded by the Muscovites, and the Muscovites made a very organized retreat away from the field, safe, but dispirited.
It is soon after this, that the second Muscovite army commanded by Shuysky, would catch up to the Livonians from behind, as part of a failed pincer movement. It is here that the Livonians, for the first time in the war, would have a rather lackluster artillery performance to open the battle. But, to their luck, the Muscovites would prove even worse. This army would prove to be very different from the one that they had just fought, as it appeared much smaller, but better armored. The Muscovites would from now on employ a different tactic against their opponents, and would use their own cavalry to merely keep the enemies off of their infantrys’ flanks, which they do well enough here. As the battle goes on, and as well as the Livonians had been fighting, they were still tired from their previous engagement, and it became clear to von Plettenberg, that he must sound the retreat in order to save his exhausted army from destruction. The Livonian retreat is not particularly well executed, as von Plettenberg is not used to retreating, but on the flipside Shuysky is not used to winning, and his pursuit of the Livonians is ineffective, who manage to get away. The Livonians retreat to Volgo, where they will spend the rest of the season recovering from a grueling gauntlet of a month, and establishing occupations to link themselves up to Lithuanian supply lines.
May-December 1517, Torzhok Area
To their north, the Swedish army under the command of Sten Svantesson attempts to march across a rather desolate area of land. After a light amount of progress, it quickly becomes apparent that their supply lines will not enable them to reach their target [<1], without linking up with the Livonians to their southwest, and the Lithuanian supplies that flow to them. The Swedes will be forced to stop in Yazhelbitsy to figure out their supply situation, and will spend time occupying lands to their north and south. To complicate matters further, the autumn Rasputitsa would be even worse than the spring, enabling a breakout of the plague in the Livonian camp. To the far north the Karelian revolts will continue to gain steam and will occupy most of traditional Karelia.
January-July 1517, Former Grand Duchy of Smolensk
Meanwhile, to the south, the king of Poland is re-organizing his armies to coalesce around the city of Smolensk. Through the winter snows and spring rains, his army gathers ready to strike. Once the rains stop in early May, the army sets out under Grand Hetman Konstanty Ostrogski and Jan Amor Tarnowski. The plan is simple: the Grand Ducal Army, a combination of Polish and Lithuanian might, shall force the Muscovites from their positions at Dorogobuzh. The ancient fortified city of the Rus lies on the Dnieper river. Overlooking the city are two heights, from which the muscovite forces have taken up a commanding view of the river valley. Grand prince Dmitri, for his part, has left a professional army under Chelyadnin and a new army under Mikahil Bulgakov to defend the city. Hearing rumblings of the Grand Ducal Army long in advance. Dmitri would also send the word south to the army at Bryansk to join the fight, in Dorogobuzh. This army would take nearly a month to make it the greater distance north, however. With ample troops to cover the hills surrounding the city, the Poles will spend the better portion of two months failing to take either hill surrounding the city.
In August, Ostrogski will take stock of the situation that he is in and make a decision to begin the Bryansk campaign early. He will send half his army south down to the aforementioned city, in order to reclaim it for the Grand duchy of Lithuania. The hope is that with less of a concentration of force on the Muscovite side, he will be able to take Dorogobuzh slowly. The new force is led by yet another Jerzy Radziwiłł, and reaches Bryansk before the Muscovites do, who are led once again by Shemyachich. The already sacked city has hastily repaired walls and a Muscovite garrison. With this in mind, it should not be a surprise that the city falls quickly after some well-placed barrages from the Polish artillery. It would be noted that the Muscovite garrison was given no quarter by the Polish and Lithuanian conquerors. Shemyachich (and Ivan V of Ryazan) have finally caught up to them however, and Radziwiłł reasons that his cavalry are better suited to the open fields rather than inside city walls.
Battle of Bryansk, September 1517
The battle of Bryansk begins with a bang. Many of them, in fact, as both of the artillery batteries roared to life, and hit true on their enemies. The rest of the battle is a much more boring affair. The infantry nearly fight to a standstill, and the Muscovite cavalry, once again, attempts and succeeds to merely draw off the Polish cavalry from inflicting too much damage on themselves or their infantry center. After several hours of grinding fighting and mounting casualties, Shemyachich sees no path to victory for the Muscovites, and orders the retreat away from the city to hopefully cross the river Desna once again, back to the safety of Muscovy.
After a short rest in Bryansk, the polls and Lithuanians continue their so-called Bryansk campaign and split up once again, confident that the Muscovites will not reengage this year. They are able to take the city of Karachev this year and reclaim the city of Trubetsk in Ruthenia. Their campaign is cut short, once again, by a particularly intense rainy season with general Stanisław Lanckoroński even going down with a minor case of illness for a few weeks due to unsanitary conditions.
August 1517, City of Dorogobuzh
Back at Dorogobuzh, Ostrogski feels confident that he can throw his weight against one of the hills and finally take it. He chooses the south hill, for no particular reason other than he has a good feeling about it. Due to yet again, another Muscovite scouting failure, he is able to assault the hill with numerical superiority. Surprising the Muscovites with a furious attack, he’s able to take the hill rather easily. The Polish at this point do not have a large contingent of siege artillery, but the defenses of the city are not well-maintained, and thus are not difficult to blast open. Ostrogskii hesitates here at the open fortifications of the city, as he knows that most of his strength is concentrated in his cavalry's superiority. He sees fit to at least attempt an assault with the famed landsknecht taking point against the inferior Muscovite infantry forces. If it does not go well, he will simply have to think of another plan. Luckily for him, it does go well, and the famed mercenaries of Germany prove their worth as they force the Muscovites out of the city for good. Chelyadnin and Bulgakov retreat from the city back towards Vyazma. Due to the onset of the rain and the slog of the month’s battles, the Grand Ducal Army is not able to make much headway into Muscovite territory. Vyazma will have to wait until next year if there is one.
Map
Casualties
Sweden
Levy Pikemen 410
Mercenary Pikemen 590
Mercenary Polearms 410
Levy Archers 410
Mercenary Crossbowmen 500
Levy Mounted Skirmishers 90
Mercenary Cavalry 230
Muscovy
Unknown
Ryazan
Unknown
Livonian Order
Von Plettenberg
Levy Pikemen 595
Levy Spearmen 595
Livonian Knights 380
Landsknecht 1,145
Levy Crossbowmen 395
Mercenary Arquebusiers 380
Levy Cavalry 395
Von Bielefeld
42%~
Poland-Lithuania
Radziwiłł
Levy Spearmen 80
Landsknecht 360
Mercenary Pikemen 180
Levy Crossbowmen 160
Mercenary Crossbowmen 300
Mercenary Arquebusiers 320
Levy Cavalry 80
Levy Mounted Skirmishers 170
Mercenary Cavalry 650
Cossacks 55
Mercenary Horse Archers 450
Lanckoroński
Levy Spearmen 45
Landsknecht 140
Mercenary Pikemen 140
Levy Crossbowmen 90
Mercenary Crossbowmen 230
Mercenary Arquebusier 230
Levy Cavalry 60
Levy Mounted Skirmishers 110
Mercenary Cavalry 360
Cossacks 30
Mercenary Horse Archers 280
Firlej
Mercenary Cavalry 365
Mercenary Horse Archers 250
Ostrogski & Tarnowski
Levy Spearmen 110
Landsknecht 330
Mercenary Pikemen 130
Levy Crossbowmen 220
Mercenary Crossbowmen 220
Mercenary Arquebusiers 285
Levy Cavalry 55
Levy Mounted Skirmishers 205
Mercenary Cavalry 515
Cossacks 25
Mercenary Horse Archers 455
Pskov
5%~

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 38%. (I'm a bot)

A passenger on an Asiana Airlines flight told police he opened a door on the plane minutes before it landed in Daegu, South Korea, on Friday because he was "Uncomfortable", Yonhap News Agency reported.
He told police that he opened the door because he "Wanted to get off the plane quickly", Yonhap said on Saturday, citing the Daegu Dongbu Police Station.
The man opened the door when the plane was about 213 metres above the ground, causing panic onboard.
Police sought an arrest warrant for the detained man on Saturday for violation of the Aviation Security Act and other offences, Yonhap said.
A video aired on television, reported to have been taken by a passenger, showed the moments before the landing, with a door open and wind rushing in as passengers sat nearby.
Jin Seong-hyun, a former Korean Air cabin safety official, said that as far as he knew, the incident was unprecedented, but that passengers have opened emergency exits without authorisation while planes are on the ground.

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: police^#1 passenger^#2 opened^#3 door^#4 plane^#5
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.

https://www.presstv.iDetail/2023/05/21/703818/Intelligence-forces-dismantle-terror-team-affiliated-with-Israel-in-western-Iran
Iranian intelligence forces have busted a terror team affiliated with the Israeli Mossad spy agency in the western part of the country, Intelligence Minister Esmail Khatib says.
Khatib said at a ceremony in the capital Tehran on Sunday that the terrorists had sneaked across the border into western Iran from Iraq’s semi-autonomous Kurdistan region.
“Given the cooperation of the new Iraqi administration [led by Prime Minister Mohammed Shia’ al-Sudani] and the assurances offered, we wish to see our western borders secure and clear of any security incident,” he said.
“We remind the Kurdistan Regional Government (KRG) of its responsibilities in this regard,” he added.
Khatib made clear that Iranian military and security forces will not hesitate to deliver a powerful and crushing response to any destabilizing act against the country’s border regions.

Asking for help after a long fall from grace.
I’m not the type to ask for help. I’ve never actually needed help until now. But after a long fall from grace, it’s time to put my pride aside and ask for help.
When I was 17, I joined the US Army. I didn’t join to serve my country or any other patriotic reason, I joined because I came from a super poor family, and I knew that I wanted better for myself. And boy did I get it! I traveled the world, and on my 2nd tour in Iraq, ended up severely injured, and ended up getting out on a medical discharge. I was last stationed at Fort Knox in Kentucky, and I liked the area so much I decided to stay. With no idea what to do with the rest of my life, I started looking into joining the medical field. I became a CNA. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was working too hard for too little money, especially since I already had a bad back injury. So I used my GI Bill and went to college. Eventually, I ended up with a Masters in Nursing. Took 5 years, but was definitely worth it. I ended up moving to New York and stayed up there for about 12 years. I made amazing money, and had a great life. If there was something I wanted, I bought it. I went on vacations, cruises, had several vehicles I paid cash for, and owned a beautiful home that was paid for. I shared my wealth when able. If someone needed help, I’ve always done what I could. I worked as a Director of Nursing in a hospital up there. When Covid hit, I was one of the first to volunteer to go to NYC to help on the front lines. I loved my job and helping other people. One day at work, I hit my head on a metal box that was mounted to the wall. I was sent for a MRI. The doctors found a lesion on my brain, unrelated to me hitting my head. A few months passed, and I started experiencing some intermittent confusion, and extreme fatigue. Then the pain started. It would hurt my feet and legs so bad to walk, that I could barely stand. I started seeing a neurologist. After tons of testing, a spinal tap, MRIs, you name it, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was supposed to go to the neurologist to get started on something for it the following Monday morning, but tragedy struck that Saturday night when my entire house burned to the ground while I was at the grocery store. The entire house was a total loss. Not being from New York, I had no family to stay with, and ended up having to move back to North Carolina with family. After getting here, my MS progression sped up. I started seeing a neurologist here, and was told that my MS is the Primary Progressive type, which is bad news. Unable to work, I filed for Social Security Disability. A year passed, during which I used up all my savings, and ended up moving in with my mom. They denied my claim without ever obtaining my medical records from New York. I submitted an appeal, and they denied that as well, without ever getting all my medical records. So I collected all my medical records myself, and contacted a lawyer. I have a hearing coming up, and I will be approved once I see a judge solely based on my rapid decline since applying. I can’t walk without crutches anymore. I can’t control my bladder, the fatigue has gotten so bad that I can sleep 16 hours without a problem. Now, I’m always in severe pain because I’ve got neuropathy throughout both feet, legs, hands, and arms. I’m going blind. My feet are contracted and I wear special shoes and see a specialist just for that. My pancreas decided to stop functioning right, and I have a insulin pump now, with a implant that monitors my sugar every minute and makes sure I don’t drop or spike. I see a specialist for that as well. On top of that, I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis, so my joints and bones are affected, while the MS screws with my muscles. I have severe muscle cramps and spasms all the time. And they hurt. Bad. The muscles in my legs are atrophied to the point where I have no reflexes anymore. As I said, it’s been a long fall from grace for me to end up here. I went from having everything, including great health, to having nothing and being completely crippled in 3 years. All while waiting for disability to approve me and pay out. They now owe me 2 full years of backpay. I qualify for full benefits from the Army, and I have more than enough work credits for fill retirement. But I still haven’t worked or had any income since I’m unable to. I’ve been basically living off my mom, who is also disabled and can barely take care of herself. Food stamps helps with food a little, but it never lasts all month. I have medications that I have to have and even with Medicaid, I still have a copay. I’ve borrowed from everyone I can, which isn’t much because as I said above, I came from a very poor family, and even though that had changed for me, it didn’t change for them. I’m right back where I started.
I typed all this to show that I am a actual person, with a legitimate reason for being in this situation. There’s nothing I can do about it at this moment, except ask for help. If there’s anything you can do to help, please message me. If you can donate anything, anything at all to help, I’d appreciate it more than you know. Transportation to appointments, medication copays, food, things needed to survive, are all too expensive for someone with nothing.
My Cashapp Cashtag is: @DimebagDesigns
Feel free to message me if you want to talk or have any questions.
And thank for reading my long post.

Just like every year on 9th of September, 1944 was no different. Military was, again, organizing a ball to celebrate the foundation of the Republic.
Mark always found this event exciting. He was a staunch republican but that was not the only reason. Ball has always been one of the only activities where high ranking officers sat together and talked to each other in a lightened mood.
He went into the ball room and immediately after, one of the other officers called to him. He was the commander of the 2nd Army, Eric Hill. “Come, Mark. Sit with us.”
Mark saluted and sat down on a chair. The table was crowded with generals, almost everyone here was also a member of the General Staff. A server rushed towards him in order to get his order.
Mark turned towards the waiter and said, “Just water.”
Server nodded and rushed. Eric spoke out;
“You are not staying I assume?”
Mark replied, “No, General. I’m not. We’ve spotted movements on the other side of the Rummish border. My division is currently investigating the issue. I’ll depart for Narbel in a few hours.”
Eric nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "I see. Duty calls, as always. It's a shame you won't be able to stay and enjoy the festivities, Mark. But I trust your judgment when it comes to matters of national security."
Mark nodded solemnly. "Thank you, General. It's unfortunate timing, but our duty to protect the Republic must always come first. I'll do everything in my power to ensure the safety of our borders."
As the server returned with Mark's glass of water, he took a sip and continued, "We've been monitoring the Rummish border closely for any signs of aggression. It seems tensions have been escalating recently. Have you received any specific intelligence regarding the movements?"
Eric leaned in, his expression serious. "Indeed, Mark. Our intelligence reports indicate that the Rummish forces have been conducting military exercises near the border. It's difficult to determine their exact intentions, but it's clear they're flexing their military might. We cannot afford to underestimate them."
Mark nodded again, his mind already focused on the impending mission. "I understand, General. I'll make sure my unit is prepared for any possible scenarios. We cannot afford to let our guard down."
Another officer, General Roberts, interjected, "Mark, I've heard rumors of a potential diplomatic solution to ease the tensions. Do you think there's any truth to that?"
Mark glanced at General Roberts, contemplating the question. "It's hard to say, General. Diplomatic solutions are always preferable, but we must be cautious. The Rummish have been known to use diplomacy as a tactic to buy time or gather intelligence. Remember Dome? Everyone thought it was safe and sound until the Rummish took the city overnight. We must remain vigilant and prepared for any outcome."
Eric added, "Indeed, Mark. Diplomacy may be an option, but we cannot rely solely on it. Our military strength and readiness are crucial in maintaining our security and protecting our interests."
Mark nodded in agreement with General Eric's statement. "You're absolutely right, General. Diplomacy can only go so far, and in times of uncertainty, it's our military strength and readiness that ensure the safety and stability of our Republic."
General Roberts, a seasoned veteran, chimed in. "I remember a time during the Battle of Zeharen when we were outnumbered and outgunned. It was a grueling fight, but our determination and the valor of our soldiers turned the tide. We held our ground, pushing back the rebel forces and securing a crucial victory. You were also protecting our northern flank in that battle, Mark. If we fight our battles like we fought in Zeharen, no one will even dare to attack Sordland."
Mark listened intently, his eyes reflecting a mixture of respect and questioning. He surely admired Roberts's patriotism and heroism but have always criticized his 'unrealistic approaches to modern problems'. Mark replied, "It's stories like these, General Roberts, that remind us of the sacrifices and courage displayed by our men and women on the front lines. Their unwavering dedication and bravery make us proud to serve alongside them. But we must also remember that not only bravery can win a fight. Having a more maneuverable unit with better weaponry has enabled us to shed less Sordish blood while crushing the rebels."
General Hill, known for his experience, shared a more somber tale. "During the Siege of Holsord in the Civil War, I commanded a battalion that was tasked with holding a critical position. We fought tooth and nail, enduring heavy bombardment and relentless assaults. Many lives were lost, and the toll it took on our soldiers was immense. But we held that position, not just for the sake of victory, but for the comradeship and unwavering bond that develops in the face of adversity."
Mark's gaze turned introspective, his mind filled with memories of fallen comrades. "War is a harsh and unforgiving reality, General. It tests the limits of our humanity and challenges our notions of what is right and just. It's our duty as leaders to honor the sacrifices made by those who came before us and strive for a world where peace prevails."
“Do you have any memories to share with us, Mark? You fought in the civil war, were with us in Zeharen and also fought against BFF. I’m sure you have dozens of memories right now.” said General Roberts. Mark Replied;
“Yes, General. But one of them still scratches my mind.” Mark replied and continued, “In Bergia, especially in winter time, BFF return to the mountains like bears going into hibernation. Because as terrorists with no clear pathway between mountains and with very light clothing, it becomes very hard for them to move from hill to hill, mountain to mountain. And in the first days of the spring, they come out from their caves, like bears themselves.”
​
General Hill laughed and said, “Come on, Mark. We already know how BFF operates.”
​
Mark smiled and continued, “In that time, while guarding his post in the outskirts of Deyr, one Sergeant Major spotted something with his binoculars, approximately 500 meters away. He noticed that someone was running away from the forest towards an open area with practically no cover. Sergeant noticed that the person he was watching seemed to be short and slender for an adult. Sergeant thinks to himself that it might be a child running, but the way the person is running doesn't seem playful; they are running while looking behind as if they're escaping from something. Then, a larger figure resembling a horse enters the frame from the same forest and starts chasing after the kid. After analyzing the figure for three seconds, the sergeant shouts, "Damn, it's a bear!" and leaves the binoculars, grabs his weapon, and sounds the alarm at his post. Taking three out of the five soldiers from his post and starts to rush towards the location where the child is, firing a shot into the air every hundred meters, alternating between sprints and fast running.”
“At the halfway point, the sergeant sees that the bear catches up to the little girl and claws at her from behind. Then, a horrifying scream pierces through the air.”
“When the gendermaries arrive, the girl lies face down, covered in blood in the snowy mud. She appears to be weakened from the injury and the running while a very aggressive brown bear has bitten her ankle and is shaking its head like a crocodile, trying to tear it off. The girl is also being thrown around in the mud with the force of the bear's shaking. The sergeant quickly realizes the life-threatening danger, shoots the bear with great marksmanship and immediately calls for help on his radio. Fortunately, the gendarmerie vehicle is on patrol nearby and quickly arrives at the scene with its sirens. The sergeant slings his rifle across his back and lifts the girl onto his right shoulder, then starts running towards the main road. Displaying the true valor of a Sordish soldier with a blue beret, he manages to run at a steady pace with the heavily wounded girl on his shoulder for eight minutes uphill, finally reaching the gendarmerie patrol vehicle. He places the girl on the vehicle's floor and jumps inside himself and without even turning off the sirens, they rush towards the state hospital. It should be noted that despite losing a significant amount of blood, the young girl remains conscious. Along the way, the gendarmes try to talk to her, keeping her awake. She says her name is Cassie.”
“Why was the girl there at that time? She thought she could take a shortcut through the forest to the village road and sing a couple more Bludish folk songs before it gets dark. Little did she realize that she would encounter a bear on her way.”
“Upon reaching the emergency room, while the first aid is being administered, Cassie asks for her "big soldier brother" since she is scared of the nurses and doctors. The sergeant, covered in blood and dirt, holding his rifle, takes a seat next to her and tries to comfort her. Meanwhile, the doctors intervene in the open wound. It should be noted again that Cassie has a broken left fibula, multiple abrasions and contusions, her clothes are torn to shreds, and her back is completely exposed. Deep scars, around 45-50 centimeters long can be seen extending from her right scapula to her left kidney. Additionally, there is a severe injury on her ankle. Even though a bear's strike to the back often results in a fatal outcome, she somehow hangs on to life.
“Later, we heard that the girl received a total of 121 stitches. She's doing well and recovering. The entire district gendarmerie is laughing all day because a girl's life was saved. The local Bludish population started calling the sergeant as ‘Ayıboğan’, which refers to the strength of a bear in the local dialect.”
“Every time when I read propaganda posters distributed by BFF that the Gendarmerie and Sordish Armed Forces is a tool fed by the fascist Sollists to silence and enslave the Bludish people, I always think of the sergeant major who left his position and equipment behind and ran an absolute marathon to save the girl's life. Then a question keeps revolving in my mind. What is Sordish Armed Forces and the Gendarmerie truly protects? Just a post, a position with sandbags and heavy weaponry or children like Cassie?”
General Roberts replied, “Children, of course.” all of the table seemed to be agreeing with him, maybe except a few officers. He continued, “What happened to the Sergeant Major?”
Mark replied, “I've given Sergeant Major a commendation for leaving his post in line of duty, a post which he must protect with his life. Because he left his post in order to protect a child, even Bludish, a citizen of this Republic.”
The atmosphere around the table grew more solemn as each general shared their own stories, some glorious, some heart wrenching and some with dilemmas. The clinking of glasses and the distant melodies from the ballroom provided a stark contrast to the weight of their memories.
General Roberts, attempting to lighten the mood, raised his glass and said, "To our fallen comrades and to the unwavering spirit of the men and women who have fought for our Republic!"
The other generals raised their glasses in unison, echoing his sentiment. Mark's eyes met with the others, and in that moment, they understood the gravity of their roles as leaders and the importance of preserving the legacy of those who had fought and sacrificed before them.
As the night continued, the conversation shifted towards lighter topics, interspersed with moments of laughter and camaraderie. They shared stories of triumphs and defeats, of bonds forged in the crucible of combat, and the collective sense of purpose that bound them together.
In that moment, amidst the military ball and the company of fellow generals, Mark found solace and inspiration. He knew that regardless of the challenges ahead, he stood shoulder to shoulder with comrades who shared his commitment and determination to protect the Republic…

TW is for mentions of abuse and sexual assault, no intense descriptions.
I spent my 20s bouncing around living situations because my mom died without warning right before my High School graduation. We grew up dirt poor and I found out a few years ago that she was months behind on rent too, but the house was owned by my grandparents or else we would have been homeless.
A little over a decade later, I found out that a cousin had been pulling the strings behind the scenes and manipulated my grandfather to change over his will. I didn't find out about this until everything was all said and done. My college fund was taken as well, since it was in my mom and grandmother's name, so he got control of it. My cousin even got the house I was told in my teens that I would likely inherit.
The ONLY thing that didn't get stolen through elder abuse was an irrevocable trust set up in the early 90s by my grandparents. I'm the beneficary, and a certified financial planner who has been a friend of the family since the 80s is the trustee. Basically, I can't get money out of it on my own, I have to go through her and she's legally obligated to act in my best interests. Apparently, there was SOME money my cousin didn't know about that went into the trust per my grandmother's will. However, I'm no "trust fund baby". I can't go out and buy luxury items let alone rely on the Trust to pay all my living expenses for the rest of my life.
Here's another wonderful kicker: I'm disabled physically and mentally. Autism spectrum, PTSD, generalized anxiety and major depression (likely related to the trauma and distress over the years). I was born with stickler Syndrome, which is a degenerative connective tissue disorder. Marfan and Ehlers Danlos are more well-known but fall under the same general umbrella, but Stickler is basically that your body doesn't produce collagen correctly, leading to bone, heart, vision, and hearing problems varying in degree from person to person.
I already have severe enough joint problems that physical therapy can't fix. I have fissures, cysts, and completely worn down cartilage and I'm only in my early 30's. I can't walk or stand for more than 20 minutes without severe pain and risk of falls, and I'm not supposed to use stairs frequently. Even sitting for more than 4hrs a day with breaks causes pain.
I've also been having neurological issues including 24+hr headaches and week+ long vertigo that seems to crop up randomly (even today, I was staring right at my laptop screen when I suddenly felt like I was drunk for no reason) and am awaiting an appointment for imaging tests and possibly Multiple Sclerosis testing. All of these things- diagnosed and not yet diagnosed combined, primary care doctors and therapists have agreed that I should be on social security and shouldn't exacerbate some of my conditions by continuing to work (unless I can find something that's fully accommodating).
I grew up in PA but bounced all around during my housing instability. The year before Covid, I was put back into housing instability when my housemate could no longer afford her inherited home and had to sell, so I had to leave the first stable and SAFE home I'd had in almost a decade, and my accommodating job as a result. I struggled to find that stability again, and while Covid was the first time I felt like I wasn't under pressure to find that stability immediately (I was living with a friend) it did fuck up my chances of finding employment once things started opening up again. My friend wanted his rec room back and told me I needed to move out (something he says he now regrets doing, but I understand). My only option was to move with an online friend in CA.
That went spectacularly, by which I mean he turned out to be incredibly histrionic and unstable and almost rendered me homeless. Other online friends helped shack me up in a motel and then let me couch crash for a bit. I ended up losing half my stuff including things from my mom and all my art from the past decade, because he kept changing the goalposts on how and when I could come get my stuff, and technically I was living with him off his lease, and didn't want to render him and his 7yo homeless by trying to take legal action.
My partner is one of his former best friends. Former because he's completed disgusted by what was done to me, and has heard a lot of flat-out lies from this person as to what happened. Shit like saying "multiple therapists warned me about him" to make me look like a terrible person, when 1. He only had 1 therapist and she moved out of network 2 months before this went down so he had none. 2. Feeding a patient's negative thoughts about someone based on hearsay and conjecture is a MASSIVE liability and something any therapist worth their salt knows not to do.
I was working night audit at a small hotel from February of last year until December, when I was immediately pulled and put on state disability by my primary care doctor after a fall while I was alone at work. California's state disability aid is based off taxed income, so there's a limit to how long you can use it. Mine runs out July 1st and after that I have no income and can't work. In CALIFORNIA. A lot of our homeless are disabled because it's so impossible to live in this state if you can't work full time.
I will be applying for SSI, but up until last February, I had NO medical records due to not being able to afford health insurance or stay in one place long enough for appointments. I had my PTSD and depression diagnosis, but not even records of my Stickler birth defect. You need ample documentation to apply for Social Security, and with a rare birth defect and specialists often having to be scheduled months in advance, that's not quick and easy task. I'll FINALLY be applying late this summer.
I acknowledge I'm WAY luckier than most people in my situation, because of the Trust, but that's where my current hurdles are. Like I said, I can't just pull from it willy-nilly, which I'm grateful for in some ways as panic-spending might have depleted me a while ago.
Back in April, the Trustee said that I could get a mobile home in a park back home in east PA, up to 75k$ budget. There are homes in that range, but I also have to keep in mind location and lot rent. With SSI being 914$ federally (PA has no state supplement), obviously I can't go for a park with a 800+ lot rent even with assistance programs like SNAP and LIHEAP. PA isn't a rent capped state thanks to a lot of legislators owning rental properties, so landlords can legally increase rent by a hundred per year (and they have). Ever since the housing crisis, mobile home parks have become the affordable option, and some parks have been bought up by corporations who are trying to price out Social Security recipients so they can get more money from people trying to get out of apartment living but who can afford lot rents closer to apartment rent costs.
Today, my top choice home got scooped up, and the Trustee is saying that she would rather I move back and rent so I can go see the mobile homes in person rather than relying on a local friend to do the tour with me on video call. Which, yes, I agree, except...
How the fuck am I supposed to do that when no apartment- independently or company owned- will rent to me when I am not employed and my only source of income is an irrevocable Trust? My credit score is 684 and climbing, I have no debt history, my current housemates can vouch for me in terms of cleanliness, respect, and always paying rent in advance. Even with all that, landlords want things like last two pay stubs, proof of 2-3x rent in stable income, or someone else who has those things to be on the lease with me.
Room rentals? Also borderline impossible. It took me almost half a year to find my current room rental. I have a cat with an ESA letter, but that doesn't allow me past no pets policies in most room rentals. I also got ghosted more than half a dozen times when I was talking with someone about a rental and then informed them I'm transgender, which could be anything, but I'm willing to wager more often than not it was discriminatory. My physical disability also means I can't get anything that requires frequent stair use, like a basement or upper level room rental, or one of the many split-level historic homes that have been converted into the only low-income apartments in the area. There's even apartment buildings so old they don't legally need to have elevators.
Section 811 exists for disabled folks, but county and city housing agency I contacted either doesn't have it, or it requires you to already be in crisis and unhoused. Senior centers can accept up to 20% resident population that's non-elderly but disabled, but either have NYC luxury apartment prices because of the amenities, or a huge buy-in.
I'm just so. Utterly fucking exhausted.
I spent most of my formative adult years just trying to get stability, while spending my formative childhood years in deep poverty with a mother whose mental health was deeply impacted by a stroke she suffered when I was 16 who laid her hands on my throat once, would alternate between being a loving "hip" mom and screaming at me over mundane bullshit, and would constantly tell me that she could have another stroke and die if I upset her. In my housing instability, I've been sexually assaulted, verbally harassed, or just lived with couples who were constantly fighting.
I want a stable and safe home where I'm not at risk of having to move within ten years. Housing in general is ridiculous, but it's like for us disabled folks, unless we have family or a spouse to live with? Not even the housing options meant to keep us from ending up homeless are available.
I already have my plane ticket (fully refundable) back home for September 9th since I had to book early to get a good deal and lock in my cat's registration for the flight.
I'm just worried that even though I have an opportunity a lot of struggling people don't, I won't even be able to get anything.
If I'm being forced to find a rental, it would be a miracle if I find something in time that won't turn me away for having a cat, relying on Trust for income, being queer, or being unable to use stairs.
I don't want to settle for a mobile home, but likewise, I honestly just want safety and stability. I don't care if it's fucking grandma floral wallpaper and 70's bicolour shag carpet everywhere. It's mine, and the Social security administration is going to force me to spend before I hit 2k$ in assets anyway, may as well throw an entire Lowe's at it.
I know this is a lot, and I honestly don't expect anyone to read it, but I'm so fucking tired and I just want stability before I die (of old age or health, since I guess I'm genetically per-disposed to breast cancer and strokes on top of the rest of all this shit).

I’m not the type to ask for help. I’ve never actually needed help until now. But after a long fall from grace, it’s time to put my pride aside and ask for help.
When I was 17, I joined the US Army. I didn’t join to serve my country or any other patriotic reason, I joined because I came from a super poor family, and I knew that I wanted better for myself. And boy did I get it! I traveled the world, and on my 2nd tour in Iraq, ended up severely injured, and ended up getting out on a medical discharge. I was last stationed at Fort Knox in Kentucky, and I liked the area so much I decided to stay. With no idea what to do with the rest of my life, I started looking into joining the medical field. I became a CNA. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was working too hard for too little money, especially since I already had a bad back injury. So I used my GI Bill and went to college. Eventually, I ended up with a Masters in Nursing. Took 5 years, but was definitely worth it. I ended up moving to New York and stayed up there for about 12 years. I made amazing money, and had a great life. If there was something I wanted, I bought it. I went on vacations, cruises, had several vehicles I paid cash for, and owned a beautiful home that was paid for. I shared my wealth when able. If someone needed help, I’ve always done what I could. I worked as a Director of Nursing in a hospital up there. When Covid hit, I was one of the first to volunteer to go to NYC to help on the front lines. I loved my job and helping other people. One day at work, I hit my head on a metal box that was mounted to the wall. I was sent for a MRI. The doctors found a lesion on my brain, unrelated to me hitting my head. A few months passed, and I started experiencing some intermittent confusion, and extreme fatigue. Then the pain started. It would hurt my feet and legs so bad to walk, that I could barely stand. I started seeing a neurologist. After tons of testing, a spinal tap, MRIs, you name it, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was supposed to go to the neurologist to get started on something for it the following Monday morning, but tragedy struck that Saturday night when my entire house burned to the ground while I was at the grocery store. The entire house was a total loss. Not being from New York, I had no family to stay with, and ended up having to move back to North Carolina with family. After getting here, my MS progression sped up. I started seeing a neurologist here, and was told that my MS is the Primary Progressive type, which is bad news. Unable to work, I filed for Social Security Disability. A year passed, during which I used up all my savings, and ended up moving in with my mom. They denied my claim without ever obtaining my medical records from New York. I submitted an appeal, and they denied that as well, without ever getting all my medical records. So I collected all my medical records myself, and contacted a lawyer. I have a hearing coming up, and I will be approved once I see a judge solely based on my rapid decline since applying. I can’t walk without crutches anymore. I can’t control my bladder, the fatigue has gotten so bad that I can sleep 16 hours without a problem. Now, I’m always in severe pain because I’ve got neuropathy throughout both feet, legs, hands, and arms. I’m going blind. My feet are contracted and I wear special shoes and see a specialist just for that. My pancreas decided to stop functioning right, and I have a insulin pump now, with a implant that monitors my sugar every minute and makes sure I don’t drop or spike. I see a specialist for that as well. On top of that, I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis, so my joints and bones are affected, while the MS screws with my muscles. I have severe muscle cramps and spasms all the time. And they hurt. Bad. The muscles in my legs are atrophied to the point where I have no reflexes anymore. As I said, it’s been a long fall from grace for me to end up here. I went from having everything, including great health, to having nothing and being completely crippled in 3 years. All while waiting for disability to approve me and pay out. They now owe me 2 full years of backpay. I qualify for full benefits from the Army, and I have more than enough work credits for fill retirement. But I still haven’t worked or had any income since I’m unable to. I’ve been basically living off my mom, who is also disabled and can barely take care of herself. Food stamps helps with food a little, but it never lasts all month. I have medications that I have to have and even with Medicaid, I still have a copay. I’ve borrowed from everyone I can, which isn’t much because as I said above, I came from a very poor family, and even though that had changed for me, it didn’t change for them. I’m right back where I started.
I typed all this to show that I am a actual person, with a legitimate reason for being in this situation. There’s nothing I can do about it at this moment, except ask for help. If there’s anything you can do to help, please message me. If you can donate anything, anything at all to help, I’d appreciate it more than you know. Transportation to appointments, medication copays, food, things needed to survive, are all too expensive for someone with nothing.
My Cashapp Cashtag is: @DimebagDesigns
Feel free to message me if you want to talk or have any questions.
And thank for reading my long post.

In Part Two, Will Ospreay received his crowning moment at a broken Kazuchika Okada's expense, relieving him of his duties as IWGP World Heavyweight Champion and opening his doors to further bloodshed between CHAOS and Takeover. Proceeding to run through New Japan's elite, he took down Kenny Omega, Katsuyori Shibata, and Zack Sabre Jr. in one fell swoop, only for his dream of main eventing Wrestle Kingdom as champion to be crushed by one Shingo Takagi. Now, though the Dragon may be the titleholder, all is far from well in his den. Between Los Ingobernables de Japon in-fighting with G1 Climax 33 Winner Tetsuya Naito and PAC stealing his belt, he has much to address moving forwards.
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Dynamite (November 1, 2023)
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After shockingly robbing Shingo Takagi of his title, PAC interrupts mid-show, belt slung over his shoulder, scowl on his face. He rants about how ever since joining AEW, he’s been disrespected and overlooked, not even being booked for half a year after losing the AEW World Trios Championship, instead having to source work in NJPW with the G1 to finally pop back on the radar. Well now, he’s no longer sitting around in wait for others to give him opportunities. He’s taking them by force. Seeing as he beat Tetsuya Naito in the G1 yet Tetsuya’s been confirmed for WK’s main event without even defending his case against him, he’s decided he’s going to enter the match through his own means. He wants Shingo for the title! For his title. And until he gets his match, he’s not returning the strap.
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Collision (November 4, 2023)
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PAC vs CIMA
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With PAC and Shingo’s obvious connection to Dragongate, The Bastard wrestles an exhibition match against one of the standout names who made his name there, CIMA! Tied to the early days of AEW’s legacy, the veteran reminds the world of his immense talent here, wrestling a very DG-style high-speed match, PAC matching him every step of the way. Though he gives him a solid fight, a Brutaliser cuts things mercifully short, PAC keeping it in until after the bell!
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PAC def. CIMA (10:05)
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PAC briefly pausing to snatch up the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship and raise it over his head, before going back to stomping out CIMA… HE’S INTERRUPTED BY SHINGO’S MUSIC!!! Takagi bolting out, the Black Arrow cuts his losses and flees, leaving the belt behind as Shingo checks on CIMA, hissing with anger. Reclaiming his belt, he tells PAC he’s on!
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Full Gear (November 12, 2023)
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs PAC - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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PAC’s first match outside WWE pitting him against Shingo in tag team action in Takagi’s final matches with Dragongate before signing with NJPW, they finally cross paths again in singles action for the first time since 2011, the Dragon having won all 3 past encounters. Two of the most intense wrestlers around, there’s no shortage of aggression between the two, Takagi raring for revenge on PAC for stealing his moment, and PAC simply wanting to ruin everyone’s lives for the betterment of his own.
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Tearing into each other for the better part of half an hour, PAC is absolutely feral here, not letting this rare opportunity go to waste one bit, giving the champion all sorts of hell. Shingo, seeing some Ospreay in the Bastard, gives him the same respect he does his toughest rival, though the comparison only sets PAC off further, teasing introducing the title belt itself into the match, only to spike Shingo with a Tornado DDT off the distraction! Nailing the BLACK ARROW on the Dragon, he hooks the leg! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Or is it? PAC thinks he’s won the title, elated, only to turn around to the referee pointing on Shingo’s leg on the ropes! It’s Neville/Rollins all over again! If PAC was thought to have lost it so far, the depths he reaches at this point are undefinable, nailing every last trick in the book he knows before wrenching in THE BRUTALISER! Wanting to submit Shingo like he did CIMA, he puts him on the brink of passing out, but unlike the Flower of Evil, Takagi’s simply too strong for PAC, managing to shake him off, before eventually nailing the LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Shingo Takagi (c) def. PAC to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (25:13)
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Though PAC lost at Full Gear, by the manner which he eyes Shingo and his title when leaving the ring, it’s clear matters are not yet over between them. However, for now, Takagi has the remaining month until January 4 to focus on. With Naito winning at Power Struggle in a tag match pitting him and Hiromu against Ospreay and Akira, El Ingobernable has all the momentum he needs behind him, though what lies between now and Tokyo Dome surprises him.
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With Dragongate’s 20th Year Anniversary celebrations coming up, one of the most heated rivalries in the company’s history is revisited when Shingo’s called out by BxB Hulk! Their last interaction seeing them team up in the penultimate match of DG’s final big show of 2022 to great success in a surprise return by Takagi, Hulk now wants a shot at beating Shingo exactly one year later, seeing the title on his shoulder as a means of proving himself better than Takagi’s best version ever.
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Naturally accepting an opportunity to knock Hulk’s head off once more, the blockbuster main event is set for The Final Gate, but before then, Hulk invites him and Naito to a preview tag match, knowing he can milk the uncomfortable setting and watch Shingo suffer by it. Though not pleased at the thought, Takagi does inform Tetsuya, who agrees to help him, better together than at each other’s throats.
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Dragongate The Gate of Origin (December 10, 2023)
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi & Tetsuya Naito) vs GOLD CLASS (BxB Hulk & Ben-K)
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Three of DG’s greats and one NJPW pillar all in the same ring, it’s as blockbuster a match as can be, the four megastars putting on a thrilling showcase of their talents, the beloved Shingo especially getting the spotlight to Naito’s subtle annoyance, no longer the most popular man in the building. Nonetheless, with a crucial match less than one month away, LIJ are at their best even with their issues, the Destino/Pumping Bomber combo to Ben-K getting the win, though Naito making a point to be the one making the cover as Shingo is left to lock eyes with Hulk.
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Los Ingobernables de Japon def. GOLD CLASS (21:35)
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Dragongate The Final Gate (December 17, 2023)
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Shingo Takagi vs BxB Hulk XIV
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A history built on friendship, betrayal, and subsequent hatred, the arrogant detestable Shingo and the adored underdog Hulk have long grown since their last match 5 years ago, Takagi currently his company’s frontman and BxB still hanging on in his 40’s for DG. With Shingo having never beaten Hulk with a World Title over his shoulder, BxB having done so twice to him, The Dragon channels every last fiery breath of his into silencing his career rival for good, knocking Hulk around the arena and into the ring post like the old days, even playing it heelish at points, ever the superstar Hulk always wished to be. And after a thoroughly personal trip down memory lane, 20 years of DG tip in favour of the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, who puts Hulk down for good! In a show of respect after the match, Takagi bows to Hulk, entrusting the people to him as he turns his attention back to his new home.
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Shingo Takagi def. BxB Hulk (26:11)
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Road To Tokyo Dome - Night Two (December 23, 2023)
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Also on the tour:
CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii) (c) vs United Empire (Will Ospreay, Great-O-Khan, Aaron Henare) - NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Yota Tsuji & Titan) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Tetsuya Naito, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI)
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One final stop on the road to Wrestle Kingdom, and it’s arguably the most important one yet. With Shingo and Naito’s divide over leadership growing only stronger by the minute, what started as being mediated by LIJ has now turned into them being forced to pick sides against their wills. Takagi’s grown tired of existing in Naito’s shadow despite holding the title, believing he’s more cut out to lead them, receiving support from his fellow newer class of LIJ blood, Yota Tsuji, as well as another recent recruit in Titan. However, Naito’s still the familia’s franchise to the group’s OGs, Hiromu and BUSHI letting loyalty speak for itself by siding with their leader in his bid to end his 3-year chase for the title currently around Takagi’s waist. Battlelines drawn, the blockbuster showdown closes out the Road To Tokyo Dome tour!
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Brute force colliding with agility, the familial bond between LIJ only continues to be blurred as Shingo and Naito bark out orders to their respective teammates, directing traffic in this psychological warfare grown physical. It’s a slow build of the tempo until the crescendo of Shingo and Naito finally touching for the first time since the G1 Finals is reached, Tetsuya leaning heavily on his mind games whilst Takagi simply throws mean bombs, adamant to finally prove he’s better than his leader. Not overexposing their strategies too much, the match ultimately sees Naito nail Titan with the Destino to win, once more having the last laugh over Shingo!
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Tetsuya Naito, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI) def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Yota Tsuji & Titan) (17:20)
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In a final press conference heading into Wrestle Kingdom 18, Takagi and Naito share their thoughts on the upcoming match. Shingo declares that NJPW is no longer about Tetsuya, who squandered countless valuable opportunities between Takagi losing and regaining the title, those matches proving his days are over. He may not be the archetype Okada is, he may not be the fan favourite Naito is, he may not be the international star Ospreay is, but damn it, he doesn’t care for any of that. He's walking into New Japan’s biggest show of the year as champion, and he’s walking out of it as champion, simple as.
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As for Naito, he muses that this could very well be his last moment in the Sun, the result of the match dictating the direction his career goes. Either he wins and reclaims his spot atop NJPW, getting to have the run the pandemic robbed him of. Or he loses on the grandest stage and leaves with nothing… but that’s not happening. He’s beaten Shingo both times they’ve fought and he doesn’t plan on dropping the third. But that’s not just because the title’s on the line. It’s the topic Shingo’s smartly chosen to avoid speaking on. He’d be a fool to think his spot isn’t under threat. EVIL betrayed him. SANADA did too. There’s nothing stopping Shingo from doing it either… so it’s up to him to chop down the Hydra before the issue persists. He loves LIJ and he loves Shingo, but this moment is about him and everything he’s sacrificed, so he asks Takagi to not take it to heart when Naito takes what’s long overdue his.
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Wrestle Kingdom 18 (January 4, 2024)
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Also on the show:
NEVER Openweight Championship: Jeff Cobb (c) vs Ren Narita
NJPW World Television Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Taichi
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: KUSHIDA (c) vs Mike Bailey
PAC vs Hiromu Takahashi
IWGP Tag Team Championship: Aussie Open (c) vs TMDK
IWGP United States Championship: Katsuyori Shibata (c) vs Tomohiro Ishii
Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Will Ospreay
Kazuchika Okada vs Kaito Kiyomiya III
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs Tetsuya Naito III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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As blockbuster as it gets on the Tokyo Dome stage, two LIJ members close out the night for the very first time in Naito’s home city! Two men that go back to their days together in high school, none of that matters now, the title all they care about. Dressed to the nines, Naito emerges from a helicopter like a true Ingobernable, sporting a black suit to represent his Dark Ace persona, an entire army of LIJ supporters backing him from the stage.
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Before their first match, Naito declared he wanted to face a Shingo that could feasibly take LIJ from him and now more than ever he’s going to get it, but perhaps should be careful what he wishes for. Winning their past two matches, all he needs to do is replicate the feat one more time. Speak of the champ, Takagi emerges from the mouth of a Dragon’s lair, fireballs rising along the stage, Shingo in an all red regal fit, ready to spill blood. Losing to Okada two years ago when he was in this position, it’s about redemption for him and proving to his leader the future of LIJ is now, old man.
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Once Naito slowly strips down out of his suit and Shingo sheds his skin, handing over the strap, the January 4 main event gets underway! It’s typical Naito behaviour from the jump, stalling for the opening minute as both men absorb the feel of the cheering crowd, split down the middle between the ways LIJ could go. Shingo’s stoic whilst Tetsuya smirks, sending some words Takagi’s way, before raising the LIJ fist! But Shingo rocks him with a jab!
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A quick feeling out process sees Shingo gain the momentary upper hand off a rough Shoulder Tackle, only to turn into a Flying Forearm Smash from Naito! Tetsuya goes wild on Takagi with blows, the Dragon simply absorbing them, shaking them off and letting out a roar after another Shoulder Tackle! But Naito skids off the mat this time and recovers into his Tranquilo Pose instead, drawing the ire of Takagi!
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Shingo smacks him with a boot to the cheek, backing Naito into the corner where he goes ham with piston strikes to the body, a CORNER BOMBER whiplashing Naito’s head against the turnbuckle! Swiping out the legs, he mocks Naito’s “Abre Los Ojos” taunt, going for Tetsuya’s COMBINACION CABRON! Naito has it scouted however, stopping the closing Mule Kick by snapping Takagi against the top rope with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! TORNADO DDT crunches him on his dome, Shingo kicking out at 2!
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Firing up, Takagi demands for more, Naito shrugging as he teases another Flying Forearm Smash, only to slip behind into the POLVO DE ESTRELLA COVER! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Shingo doesn’t even have time to chew Naito out for doing the complete opposite as asked, instantly being rolled into a SICK DRAGON SUPLEX ON THE DRAGON! Takagi clutches his neck as Naito grins at him, now following up with a COMBINACION CABRON of his own, telling Shingo not to steal if he can’t take the fire himself!
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Takagi dazed, Naito scales up top for a MISSILE DROPKICK- TAKAGI TURNS HIM INSIDE-OUT MIDAIR WITH A PUMPING BOMBER!!! NOSHIGAMI! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Battering him with a Pumping Combo, chops and punches blister and bruise Tetsuya’s body, before a HIGH-ANGLE GERMAN DROPS HIM ON HIS NECK!!! Shingo looks satisfied with himself as he sits in his cross-legged pose… BUT NAITO RISES UP BEHIND HIM!
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Rolling Wheel Kick to the back of the head snaps Takagi out of dream state as Tetsuya rallies with a series of forearms, before testing his luck with a PUMPING BOMBER OF HIS OWN! SHINGO SHRUGS IT OFF, PISSED! Realising he messed up, Naito tries to escape the Dragon’s wrath, but Shingo grabs him by the trunks to pull him back into a MADE IN JAPAN attempt! Tetsuya frantically fights free with back elbows to the neck, ONLY TO BE SPUN AROUND INTO A DRAGON SOUL LARIAT, NAITO ROCKED TO HIS CORE!
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Naito collapsing outside, a TOPE CON HILO wipes him out! Shingo ragdolls his stablemate about ringside, hurling him from post-to-pillar, though a GUARDRAIL POWERBOMB is countered into a NECKBREAKER ON THE STEEL! ESPERANZA ON THE FLOOR BY NAITO! Shingo nursing the neck, Naito tosses him in and recovers for a moment, before heading up top, CONNECTING THE MISSILE DROPKICK! AND A GLORIA!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Shingo in the drop zone, Naito teases the RUNNING DESTINO, but Takagi catches him, TRYING FOR A FIRE THUNDER DRIVER!!! Tetsuya scrabbles like a cat falling out a tree, whacking Shingo in the nose with his boot to free himself! A stiff forearm connects with the damaged neck, but as Naito goes for a German, Takagi beats it and folds him with a SAITO SUPLEX! LEGEND FALCONRY CONNECTS!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NAITO SURVIVES!!!
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Tetsuya in a dream state, Shingo clubs him with clotheslines, a YUKON LARIAT cleaning him off his feet! Grabbing him by the scruff, Takagi pulls him up… HOOKING AN STO, WANTING EVERYTHING IS EVIL!!! His cheeky smirk is wiped off by an EYE RAKE though, Naito furiously exploding with punches and a mouthful of SPIT in Shingo’s face, showing what he thinks of LIJ’s first traitor!
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Knocking Shingo down with his own lariat, he sets up a SWING DESTINO, but Takagi grabs his leg! Naito tries to fight him off, though Shingo’s too powerful, yanking him into a draped position in the ropes! Heading to the adjacent corner, he climbs as Naito pulls himself up in hopes of freeing himself… COAST-TO-COAST BOMBER NAILS NAITO!!! MADE IN JAPAN!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ANOTHER CLOSE CALL!!!
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Shingo roars, setting up the LAST OF THE DRAGON- NAITO COUNTERS INTO A SURPRISE DESTINO!!! Takagi crashing on the bad neck, he’s jelly-legged as Tetsuya bumrushes him with forearms, though as he kneels to counter another DESTINO, Naito dumps him with a GERMAN INSTEAD! AND A RUNNING DESTINOOOOOOOOO!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SHINGO GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!! Naito cracks Takagi with headbutts, but it only angers the bull, who launches one back despite the neck!
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Tetsuya winces and smirks through the pain, knowing this hurts Shingo more than him, the Dragon remaining prideful with each counter headbutt, UNTIL A POISONED FRANKENSTEINER SPIKES HIM! SKULL END!!! Naito’s embracing the trauma! Keeping it in deep for a few moments as Takagi struggles, Tetsuya promptly lets go and looks at the turnbuckles… RAISING HIS FIST TO THE SKY, HE WANTS A STARDUST PRESS!!! Shades of his matches with Okada in the Dome, Naito goes for the Hail Mary… IT MISSES!!! TAKAGI GETS HIM UP FOR A LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! HE FINALLY HITS IT AFTER FAILING BOTH PAST MATCHES!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Takagi’s taken aback, certain it was the piece of the equation he’d been missing. Angered, he knocks his own brutal forearms into Naito’s non-existent neck, an AXE BOMBER KNOCKING HIM DOWN! Naito gasping for air, a SICKENING DRAGON SOUL LARIAT follows! Now staggered himself, he throws wild, yet feeble shots, missing Shingo each time as he pops up his foe. Looking him dead in the eyes, Shingo hits off the ropes once, twice, thrice… PUMPING BOMBERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Scooping him up for another LAST OF THE DRAGON… NAITO COUNTERS WITH A VALENTIA!!!
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Both men down, Tokyo goes nuts as they slowly pull themselves up using each other, butting heads! Trading blows again, a Dragon Soul rocks Naito, BUT HE THROWS ONE BACK! AND A FOREARM! A HEADBUTT! Naito runs the ropes, but so does Shingo, once, twice, thrice, TORNADO DD- PUMPING BOMBER!!! Grabbing the wrist from behind, TAKAGI WANTS THE RIPCORD BOMBER!!! BUT NAITO WITH A DESTINOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Now Naito’s in shock, mere inches from the win! Seeing his hometown on their feet for him, new life rushes through him, nodding to himself as he sets up again the DESTINO! Shingo throws his body weight forwards though, both men collapsing to the apron! Trading punches, it’s the HEADBUTT which subdues Takagi, his neck in sheer agony! AND NOW NAITO WANTS THE APRON DESTINO INSTEAD… SHINGO SHOVES HIM OFF! APRON CANADIAN DESTROYER!!! REVENGE FOR THE 2019 G1!!!
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Naito’s eyes are glazed over, all the years of abuse to his own neck catching up to him! Takagi hoists him up, seating him on the turnbuckle, before raising his own fist skywards! Meeting Tetsuya up there, who gives one last fight with forearms to the neck, a DRAGON SOUL silences him! Grabbing the wrist, Shingo picks him up on top of the world… STAY DREAM!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Shingo Takagi (c) def. Tetsuya Naito to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (40:40)
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It’s over. Once more, Naito’s championship dreams have been shattered into stardust as Takagi finally scores the win that’s eluded him throughout his NJPW run! Tokyo’s a stunned silence as they watch Shingo be handed his title, holding his hand high as Tetsuya lays still on the mat. Is Naito truly finished? LIJ pour out, Hiromu and BUSHI rushing to check on the Stardust Genius, while Yota and Titan check on Takagi as he suddenly stumbles back into the corner, clutching his neck.
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As Naito’s helped to his feet, there’s a standstill between the two halves of LIJ as they stare each other down, intensity stemming from Shingo and Naito. Takagi pushes Yota and Titan aside, stepping forward whilst nursing his neck, Naito doing the same, butting heads with the Dragon again! …But then a smirk appears on Naito’s face, raising high the LIJ fist! And Shingo smirks back, raising his own to meet it! AND THEY EMBRACE!
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What was thought to be the war that could fracture LIJ in half forever has only brought its two strongest members closest together! Grabbing a mic, Naito congratulates Shingo for finally beating him. He knew this day would eventually come, and he couldn’t be prouder of his friend. Though this loss stings him, the journey is never over him, and rest assured, he’ll be coming back for the throne, rested and healthy again, Naito winking at Takagi as he says so, who reciprocates with an inviting grin.
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But right now is not about him. In fact, he may not even be long for the wrestling world with the condition his neck and knees are in. That’s why he’d like to make an announcement. From henceforth, he’s no longer the sole leader of LIJ. He wants Shingo to lead beside him! Takagi’s stunned by the offer, but Naito insists, explaining that though EVIL and SANADA were corrupted by greed for power, it was never about that to him. LIJ is his family, and he only wants what’s best for them. If that means Takagi calling the shots when he’s unable to, he’ll do that. Shingo gives him a bow of acceptance!
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LIJ all smiles, united stronger than ever, Naito beckons them all to the centre of the ring, before gesturing to Takagi to cement his leadership by doing the roll-call! Takagi nodding, he accepts the mic from him and raises his fist to the sky as everyone follows… but right as he’s about to speak, the crowd bursts into gasps which catches Shingo’s attention, as OUT WALKS PAC!!!
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Having hunted down and beaten LIJ members since his loss to Shingo, he snarls as he stalks his way to the ring, LIJ falling into defensive position! Stepping inside, he looks them left to right, scowling at their clenched fists, before raising his mic. He says that ever since he set foot in NJPW at the G1 Climax, he’s been a man possessed with his goal to take what he’s been deprived of. He stomped out Naito, he stole Shingo’s belt, he just beat Hiromu earlier in the night… yet none of that has left him satisfied the way he thought it would. It had him thinking the question – why?
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And then he realised. LIJ isn’t the enemy. They’re misfits, just like him. Oppressed, just like him. He banded together Death Triangle in the face of The Elite, but now, he seeks a far greater position. With contract negotiations having come up, his 5-year AEW deal finally expiring, he’s opted for one that’ll allow him to work both AEW and NJPW, covering his bases so he doesn’t go unbooked anymore. And with these recent matches causing him to gain respect for the Ingobernables and their unrestrained manner of operations, he knows from experience that if you wish to rise to the top in Japan… it’s good to have allies. Tossing his mic aside, PAC RAISES HIS FIST TO THE SKY!
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LIJ’s taken aback by the gesture from the Bastard that’s almost tried to tear them apart in the past months as much as they have themselves… BUT SHINGO RECIPROCATES TO HIS DRAGONGATE BROTHER! AND NOW HIROMU! YOTA! TITAN! BUSHI! AND NAITO!!! Raising his mic back up, Shingo declares “TITAN! BUSHI! TSUJI! HIROMU! NAITO! PAC! Y SHINGO! NOSOTROS… LOS INNNNGOBERRRNAAAABLESSSSSSS DE JA-PON!!!”. Tickertape explodes from the turnbuckles as Tokyo erupts into cheers, LIJ closing the show a united family again!
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New Year Dash!! (January 5, 2024)
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Tetsuya Naito, PAC, Yota Tsuji, Hiromu Takahashi, BUSHI) vs Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr., El Phantasmo, TMDK, El Desperado, Kosei Fujita)
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As usual, the night after Wrestle Kingdom is rife with excitement and new beginnings, and at the centre of it all lies the age-old rivalry between LIJ and Zack Sabre Jr.! Fresh off losing his Television Championship to Taichi after a year-long reign, he immediately sets his sights on the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship, a victory here sure to propel him to the top. And with LIJ finally back to being a cohesive, functioning family again, their redefined chemistry is put up to the test here.
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Batting off the initial concerns of another blow-up, the rebels have never been more in sync than now under Naito and Shingo’s shared guidance, the added element of PAC only further helping than hindering. Still, Sabre-Gun is menacing, a driven Sabre sicking his troops on the opposition like the masterful general he is, yet to his annoyance, the crowd remain enamoured by the Bastard, who taps out Fujita to the Brutaliser as he stares down the Technical Wizard, sending a statement!
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Los Ingobernables de Japon def. Sabre-Gun (18:07)
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Whilst ZSJ throws a fit, promising LIJ they haven’t seen the last of him as he leaves with Sabre-Gun, LIJ raise their fists to the sky with Shingo returning the favour from last night by letting Naito do the roll-call this time, grins all around. That is… until the coin drops. HERE COMES OKADA! Turning to Naito, Shingo gives him the nod that he’s got this sorted, Tetsuya tipping his cap back and taking LIJ away with him to give the two space as the rivals lock eyes.
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Mic in hand, Okada runs down Shingo, calling his reign an insult to NJPW, despising the Dragon’s prideful embracement of his Dragongate past when he should be representing their company. With Okada’s trilogy against Kaito finished in his favour, playtime’s over and the Rainmaker’s come back knocking for his crown, having beaten Shingo in the G1. Shingo, remembering how his last reign ended… accepts! Butting heads with Okada, he warns him he’s even more dangerous now, so he shouldn’t expect to walk away with his gold this time.
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Wrestle Kingdom 18 in Yokohama Arena (January 21, 2024)
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs Kazuchika Okada VI - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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In the past year, Okada’s descent into madness has seen embark on an emerald voyage to kill off any outsider or youngster eyeballing his spot, even brutally exiling members from CHAOS to reshape it into men who fit his regime. Seeing Takagi as low-life scum, he’s adamant to ‘fix’ NJPW again so that his efforts from last year don’t go to waste, knowing the continued deviance LIJ’s control will cause from his ‘purer’ path. Shingo, on the other hand, has been collecting milestones, from finally beating Ospreay for the title, to finally knocking off Naito to affirm his spot at LIJ’s top and win a January 4 main event to redeem his loss two years prior against the man who now stands in his way again, the only natural next bucket list item hence being beating Okada back on the WK stage.
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A gruelling war over New Japan’s vision spans over the next half hour (akin to the classic they’d actually have at New Beginning 2023), Okada mercilessly dumping Shingo over and over again on the neck Naito had loosened up, whilst Takagi holds his own more than he ever has in the past, blistering the Ace with lariats that leave welts all over! The first RAINMAKER hits like a gunshot though, damn near taking Shingo out, yet he keeps fighting through the damaged neck! MADE IN JAPAN has Okada rethinking his decisions to challenge, and a STAY DREAM tease almost gets him!
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A vicious TOMBSTONE drills him on the floor though, sending spasms down from his neck to his limbs, another RAINMAKER pushing him to his last legs! As Okada preps one final one… TAKAGI NAILS HIS OWN RIPCORD BOMBER!!! The FIRE THUNDER DRIVER now has Kazu reeling himself, and a LAST OF THE DRAGON scores a mighty near-fall! OKADA RESPONDS WITH ONE OF HIS OWN, GETTING SHINGO BACK FOR THE RIPCORD!!! Inching closer and closer to the vaunted third Rainmaker, Okada has Shingo’s neck in dire straits with the Money Clip, but as he finally swings… TAKAGI CATCHES IT! ANOTHER LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Shingo Takagi (c) def. Kazuchika Okada to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (32:07)
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Despite the odds stacked against him, Shingo’s managed to tie his score against Okada, 3-3, avenging his WK heartbreak from 2022, whilst Kazu’s grip on New Japan continues to falter, the ungovernables wrecking his ideal world. Refusing to let them slip however, LIJ and CHAOS continue to feud into the New Beginning tour, where a massive tag is set up pitting Shingo & Naito against Okada & Tanahashi!
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The New Beginning in Sapporo - Night Two (January 28, 2024)
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Also on the tour:
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship: CHAOS (SHO & Taiji Ishimori) (c) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI)
Katsuyori Shibata (c) vs KENTA - IWGP United States Championship
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi & Tetsuya Naito) vs CHAOS (Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kazuchika Okada)
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With Hiromu & BUSHI dethroning SHO & Taiji last night, matters are even more tense now in the power struggle between the stables. Endless shared history between these four men, it clearly shows with the animosity they greet each other with, Takagi and Okada continuing their war from Yokohama as Naito continues to drift further every day from the man he used to resemble in Tanahashi.
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Tetsuya manages to get some well-earned revenge against the man who withheld the World Title from him throughout 2022, Okada, a Destino/Bomber showing Naito and Takagi to be fully in tune again, but when a Twist and Shout to Shingo’s neck takes him out, it’s down to Naito and Tanahashi again! Tetsuya trying to recover some momentum to speed up his rise back to challenging Shingo, he gives Hiroshi his all, though the Dragon Screws prove too much for his bad knees, a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF submitting him!
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CHAOS def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (21:15)
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With Tanahashi’s win over the LIJ leader duo, he calls out Shingo in a post-show interview, saying it’s been 3 years since he’s had a chance to challenge for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship, his last match notably enough coming against Shingo himself. He’s not getting any younger as it seems and he wants nothing more than one last run at the top… so for the sake of sparing the company he broke his back for the past two decades from LIJ’s undesirable direction, he wishes to bring gold back to CHAOS! Record level 1-1 between the two, Takagi fearlessly accepts, setting up a blockbuster showdown for Osaka!
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The New Beginning in Osaka (February 10, 2024)
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Also on the show:
KUSHIDA (c) vs YOH - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship
TMDK (c) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (PAC & Yota Tsuji) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Los Ingobernables de Japon (Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI) (c) vs CHAOS (SHO & Taiji Ishimori) vs SixorNine (Master Wato & Ryusuke Taguchi) - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs Hiroshi Tanahashi III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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3 years ago on the New Beginning tour, Shingo and Tanahashi met for the first time, the Ace of the Universe taking the NEVER Openweight Championship from him, before Takagi returned the favour 6 months later, keeping the World Title from Hiroshi. Now, in a war of ideologies, they settle the score! Even at 47, Tana’s flamboyant as ever in his entrance, turning back the clocks with a full rockstar entrance as women swoon over the Japanese God. Shingo’s comparatively humble in his entrance, glaring taped-up neck keeping his head bowed, yet nostrils flaring, ready for battle.
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It's a classic Tanahashi start, slapping on the headlock to grind down his foe, only now it means that much more with the condition of Shingo’s neck. As Hiroshi reaches for Takagi’s tape, Shingo butts into his chest with his shoulder to shove him off and fires up a Pumping Combo! Chop, punch, chop, punch, chop, punc- DRAGON-STYLE HARITE FROM TANA KNOCKS THE TASTE OUT OF SHINGO’S MOUTH! Takagi doubled over, Hiroshi hammers elbows into his exposed neck, a Low Dropkick cutting him down and a Neckbreaker flooring him for 2!
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Heading to the middle rope, a SOMERSAULT SENTON BOMB is evaded, Tana crashing on his back! Now Shingo blasts him with the ground and pound! A Knee Drop sits Hiroshi up, before a SLIDING D knocks him back down for 2! Whipping Tana into the corner, a CORNER BOMBER heads his way like a missile, but a Big Boot and a HIGH FLY ATTACK cuts him off, before Tana strums the air guitar!
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He grabs the waist, but a Snap DDT stops him, an ORIGINAL FALCONRY from Shingo slamming him down! Beating Tana’s chest like a drum, he guillotines him in the ropes with a PUMPING BREAKER! A Gallon Throw attempt follows, but Tana spins around into a FALL IN LOVE PIN! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! And before Shingo can do anything, Hiroshi nails the head with a Low Dropkick! HASE-STYLE URANAGE SPIKES HIM ON HIS NECK!!!
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Hurt, Takagi collapses to the outside, prompting Tana to spear the Dragon into the guardrail with a DRAGON ROCKET! Climbing the ropes, Hiroshi measures for a HIGH FLY FLOW- CAUGHT ON SHINGO’S SHOULDERS!!! DEATH VALLEY BOMB ON THE FLOOR!!! The back that once carried NJPW now sears in agony as Takagi rolls him in, a SOL DE JAPON CONNECTING! Smacking a Dragon Soul Lariat off him, a HIGH-ANGLE BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX DROPS TANA! ONE! TWO! THR-NO DICE!
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Loading the Ace of the Universe onto his shoulders, he nails a BUCKLE BOMB… BUT TANA EXPLODES BACK WITH A SLING BLADE!!! Both downed for a moment, Tana beats a Yukon Lariat with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Shingo seeing stars, Tana grabs him for another, but Takagi desperately fights him off, ONLY FOR A DARUMA-SHIKI GERMAN SUPLEX TO FLOOR HIM!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SHINGO STAYS IN!
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Tana tries to get a hold of the neck, but Takagi turtles and kicks him away, prompting Tana to secure the leg instead, connecting a DRAGON SCREW! Shingo hobbling to his feet, a TWIST AND SHOUT awaits him! Hiroshi rolls through for seconds, but now Takagi grabs his leg and RETURNS A DRAGON SCREW!!! Tana’s famously bad knees give way, Shingo now with free reign to stomp the chest, before hoisting him into a MICHINOKU DRIVER II! Heading up, he winds up the DIVING BOMBER, but taking too long, Tana cuts him off!
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Beating on Shingo’s exposed neck, he drapes him from the top rope… AND SNAPS HIM INTO A VICIOUS DRAGON SCREW NECK WHIP!!! Takagi’s head damn near popping off, Tana quickly grabs a DRAGON SLEEPER and starts swinging him around Giant Swing style! Slamming him into the mat after 10 rotations, Tana glides up top… NAILING THE HIGH FLY FLOW!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Securing the wrists, Tana goes for a RYUGOYE like last time… TAKAGI CATCHES IT! MADE IN JAPAN!!! Hiroshi smartly rolls away to the ropes before Takagi can cover though, leaving both men to nurse their wounds. Meeting in the middle, they bounce elbows off each other’s skulls, TANA CRACKING SHINGO WITH A HEADBUTT!!! TAKAGI RETURNS ONE, DROPPING HIROSHI!!! Battering the back, he tries for a LAST OF THE DRAGON- SLING BLADE FROM TANA!!!
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As the Pumping Hawk rises, Tana cracks a swift TWIST AND SHOUT, before nailing ANOTHER SLING BLADE!!! Back turned to Takagi, Tanahashi’s confident he’s got him… BUT HE TURNS INTO A PUMPING BOMBER!!! Hiroshi rocked, Shingo hits the ropes a few times, before firing off a PUMPING BOMBER THAT TURNS HIM INSIDE OUT!!! Now grabbing the wrist, he teases the Ripcord variant, but Tana counters with the SLING BLADE!!!
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Returning up top, Tana crashes into Shingo with a STANDING HIGH FLY FLOW!!! Going back up for seconds, he looks over his kingdom… but Takagi grabs his leg! Tana tries kicking him off, but Shingo pulls himself up, trading blows with Hiroshi! He eats a Headbutt to the neck but firms it, wrecking Tana’s back with punches… BEFORE NAILING AN AVALANCHE EXPLODER ’98!!! LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Gritting his teeth, Shingo winds the arm, going for a PUMPING BOMBER, but Tana just collapses under! Takagi stomps over to him, only to fall into a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! THR-TAKAGI KICKS OUT! SLING BLADE!!! Tana attempts a BRAINBUSTER, but the back gives out, letting Takagi fall into the ropes and rebound with a PUMPING BOMBER!!! Securing the Double Hammerlock, he nails a TAKAGI DRIVER ’98!!! ONE! TWO! THR-TANAHASHI WITH A FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!
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Shingo’s at a loss, but in this game of natural progression, he looks to replicate his WK success, smacking Dragon Souls off Tana, before another PUMPING BOMBER flooring him! Dragging him up the ropes with him, he wants the STAY DREAM… but it left his neck exposed, Tana raining down 12-6 elbows on it! Shingo forced to let go, he instead trades forearms with Hiroshi, but a HEADBUTT knocks him down this time into a prone position! Tana in perfect position, HE NAILS THE HIGH FLY FLOW TO THE BACK!!! Rolling Shingo over, Tana heads back up… HIGH FLY FLOW!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Hiroshi Tanahashi def. Shingo Takagi (c) to win the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (35:36)
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For the 9th time in his career, Tanahashi’s the World Champion! Shingo’s neck finally crumbling at his hands, the CHAOS regime is back on top! A remarkable reign from the Dragon, but he’s forced back into his cave. As Tana celebrates though, he doesn’t have to wait at all for competition to line up, KATSUYORI SHIBATA’S THEME HITTING! The fellow Three Musketeer losing his US Title earlier on the tour, he’s had a bone to pick with CHAOS for the past year since their exile of the likes of Goto, who have since been in his corner as part of the Takeover faction. The two long-time rivals staring each down, Tana raises his title with a grin, as Shibata returns a murderous look!

With the Birthday of Platypus, the girls began talking about their schools birds but for Wallaby, this brings up some rather interesting memories. This features a character named Perentie. Perentie is a rather large, cushy student due to the fact that she's a big eater and is kind of fat. She has a hair color mixture of earthy brown, cream and tan with brown eyes.
"I think Platypus' birthday party has gone very well. Well since we got nothing else to do, should we talk about something else?" Darjeeling asked the gang if they had anything they wanted to talk about.
"Man that party was fun, I wouldn't believe it that Perentie would dive into the food pile. Big girl she is." Kay told them as she definitely seemed to enjoy today.
"All right settle down you two. Now since we have nothing else to talk about, who wants to talk about birds?" Wallaby asked Kay and Darjeeling if they wanted to talk about birds.
"Sure." Darjeeling told them.
"So Kay what is your school's bird?" Wallaby asked if she had an idea of what her bird was.
"Our school's national bird is the bald eagle. It's a strong, patriotic symbol of Saunders, and a deeply valued and protected species." Kay told the group about what her bird species was.
"A friend from the Indian themed school told me that her national bird is the peafowl. It's a beautiful creature whose vivid colors represent her school, so we list it as a protected species." Darjeeling told them that her friend liked the Peafowl. Wallaby began speaking to the two of them.
"My national bird is the emu, and it's a PEST." Wallaby told them. Kay and Darjeeling paused in silence before Wallaby continue to speak. "Also, bloody delicious!"
"So Emus. Why are they considered pests if they are your school's national bird? Shouldn't it be listed as a protected species?" Darjeeling asked Wallaby.
"I'm hungry again I want to challenge Perentie to another contest with food." Kay complained that she wanted revenge.
"So Emus we have a bunch of them roaming around the school are considered pests as we had instances with them coming onto our turf when they didn't belong there." Wallaby began. "So for starters, a good chunk of the population in the school are farmers living on homesteads. Also our school's soil blows its pretty terrible for farming. On a scale from Margaret Thatcher's corpse to Octomom. Our soil is a rough Clinton in terms of fertility. Also Saunders economy after people ravaged the school for the third time in the course of three years also sucks. So we're pretty much left with little to nothing and then the Emu infestation shows up. These gangily dillholes were all over the place just walkin on crops and crappin on crops and crappin on walks and croppin on craps and crabbin on the docks and captain on the rocks you get the idea. So we decided to evaluate the situation and try to decide to weigh on what limited options we had so we could either spend even more on the welfare of our farmers, money we don't have or we can go out of our way and begin slaughtering emus." Wallaby attempted to retell the story as best as she could. Kay raised her hand as she was rather excited.
"I go with option two!" Kay shouted, she was fond of bringing out guns to fight the Emus.
"Calm down Kay, let Wallaby tell the story." Darjeeling told Kay to let Wallaby tell the story.
"So me, Platypus and Perentie along with two Lewis Machine guns along with 10,000 rounds of ammunition were tasked with hunting down the Emus. They even sent a camera crew along with us to capture some good old propoganda for the school to give the illusion to the people that were were doing something but this job proved to be much harder than it was on paper." Wallaby attempted to describe on what happened. The it flashed back to where She, Platypus and Perentie were tasked with slaughtering Emus. Platypus and Perentie had the machine guns in their hands as Platypus spotted a target.
"Target spotted!" Platypus shouted. She raised her Lewis gun and fired at the target thinking it was an Emu. She fired off a couple of shots.
"Well, was it an emu?" Wallaby asked if they managed to take out an Emu. Perentie picked up the target that Platypus shot.
"No, Wallaby. It's an emo." Perentie told Wallaby that they didn't get the target they were hoping for.
"Dammit Platypus! Learn your vowels!" Wallaby shouted at Platypus for taking out the wrong target.
"I'm surry." Platypus told Wallaby. The Emus meanwhile we're watching nearby as the mob got together to weigh the options as three teenagers were coming after them.
"Okay, it looks like the humans are coming for us. But check this out. I've come up with an amazing plan. See if you can follow me here, okay? When they approach, we run away." The Emu leader told his mob. The Emus began to think about it before one of them began to speak.
"Sir... you're a genius." Another Emu told his friend.
"So apparently we set up the Lewis guns and we began firing at Emus but the Emus split up into smaller mobs meaning we could only focus on one mob at a time meaning most of them got away. And emus are tough as hell, they can take a bullet or three and still run away at full speed. They were meat-laiden tanks and Emu warfare is something that we can't mess with. We were only able to kill "A number of birds" and I remember telling myself "If we had a military division with the bullet carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world." So the winner of the first battle had to go to the Emus." Wallaby described what happened. It looked like their bird friends were tough and taking them out was going to be a challenge.
"So what happened next? Did you try round two?" Darjeeling asked.
"Well..." Wallaby began as she tried to find the next piece to the story. "Okay, we need to get closer." Wallaby told them. Platypus and Perentie leaned into Wallaby as this annoyed the latter. "No, you idiots, not to me, to the emus!"
"Oh sorry." Perentie told Wallaby before backing away.
"No, no... I like it." Wallaby told Perentie that she liked being hugged. "So next, we tried sneaking up on a large number of emus near a local dam, and firing at short range. Maybe we were just unlucky, but my professional opinion says the emus were magic, because both guns jammed after just twelve emus were killed. And once again, the rest got away. The Emus won the second battle."
"Sounds like you three aren't doing well." Darjeeling told Wallaby.
"Well Yeah." Wallaby sighed. "We were feeling a little humiliated after losing to a pack of discount ostriches, so we decided to move further south, where the emus were said to be tamer. And this time, we had a new strategy." Wallaby explained as she had a new plan in mind. They decided to borrow a truck and mount one of the Lewis guns on the back of it. "Okay, Platypus. Here's the plan: you mount the machine gun in the back, I'll chase the emus, you shoot. Got it?"
"Got it." Platypus repilied. Wallaby began to drive while Platypus fired away, the Emus scattered in many directions meaning it was hard to whip the machine gun around. Plus with the bumpy road, it made it impossible to aim properly. Eventually, Platypus was catapulted off of the truck and landed in some soft sand face first while the truck struck an Emu and flipped upside down. Wallaby wasn't harmed while the camera crew were filming.
"I'm gonna shove that camera up your—" Wallaby angrily told the camera crew. "The operation was a fiasco, and the press had a field day. In Parliament, I was lambasted, and the opposition party members suggested that medals should be handed out to the emus, who'd won every round so far. We were feeling quite humiliated and after firing 2,500 bullets, we called the operation off, but four days later, the farmers approached again, and said: "Hey, man. The emus are still eating all our crops. Can you send the army back out here?" And we were like yeah okay. So we continued firing away and after a few days we only had 100 bullets left before calling the operation off yet again. So we fired 9,900 bullets and we only had 986 confirmed kills plus a few that died from their wounds that we didn't count so in total that still left 19,000 Emus to cause destruction to our farmers. We began a bounty system where we gave cash to the farmers for every Emu they killed which worked out pretty good but we just felt humilated for losing against a bunch of Emus."
"At least George Pearce got his feathered hat." Darjeeling told Wallaby that at least some dead person who ordered the fiasco got what he wanted.
"What?" Wallaby asked Darjeeling.
"What?" Darjeeling asked Wallaby.
"So... how did the Emu infestation go away?" Kay asked.
"Simple." Wallaby told them. "We just made some better fences." The three of them cheered as they knew Emus wouldn't be that much of a problem any more.

A special thanks to u/bluefishcake for the wonderful original story and sandbox to play in.
A special thanks to my editors LordHenry7898, RandomTinkerer, Swimming_Good_8507, CatsInTrenchcoats, and KLiCKonthat.
And a big thanks to the authors and their stories that inspired me to tell my own in this universe. RandomTinkerer (City Slickers and Hayseeds), Punnynfunny (Denied Operations), CompassWithHat (Top Lasgun), CarCU131 (The Cook), and Rhion-618 (Just One Drop)
Hy’shq’e Ay Si’am (Thank you noble friends)
Chapter 30: A Promise Kept
Kalai stepped off the shuttle to the Vaida’s headquarters and into a running tackle-hug from Sitry. “Oh Kalai, I could kill you right now! You got to see the Great Barrier Reef in person, you bitch!” Sitry’s cheerful voice was muffled from where she was still buried in her chest. Kalai staggered backwards a pace or two, happy to be back from her whirlwind adventure around Earth with her father.
Naranjo and Papa Rhaxiid were there on the platform to welcome her back too, but their welcomes were more sedate.
“Not to mention you got out of work for half our damn trip. Ugh, it’s so not fair!” Naranjo huffed as Kalai gave him a sisterly hug.
Papa Rhaxiid reached up and chucked her chin before turning to lead the way back inside from the forested platform. “Welcome back, sweet-sprout, we’ve missed you. Come on, we’ll get you settled again and off to work. There’s quite a bit you need to catch up on if you want your credits.”
The chuckles from the twins behind her were full of sibling malice, but she knew how to shut the pair of them up. “Papa Rhaxiid? I’ve got the paper on Biodiversity in the Reef you asked for, along with the dissection report and stomach content analysis of the tuna we caught. I want to put the finishing touches on it and do a final proofread first before I send them to you.” The man turned and gave her a warm smile as they entered the building.
“Good, why don’t you go take your things back up and say hello to Andy? I’ll give you an hour and a half to get freshened up, then I want you to report to Aquarium 12 with Dr. Sor’ansa. You can put your snorkeling practice to work there.” Papa Rhaxiid walked the three of them to the residential elevator. “I’m heading back to my office. Andy’s been requested by Maetro Pae’ella to work the kitchens for something called ‘Bison burgers'. Apparently it’s a type of indigenous bovine that the eastern Bands raise. That and something from Europe called ‘French Fries’.”
Kalai couldn’t help but get excited as she and her siblings piled into the elevator back to their little shared apartment. Sure the food she’d had all over the place was good, but so far nothing had been able to compare to Andy and his Salishian cooking.
“Nerd, I can’t believe you cheated and did work on your vacation." Naranjo broke the silence of the elevator after a little bit and stuck his tongue out at her.
“Spit to windward, you vain little weed. Don’t hate me because I’m awesome.” Kalai’s riposte caused Naranjo to fold his arms and huff. Sitry simply ambushed her with an ear flick.
The elevator door opened to their floor before Kalai couldn’t bear the silence from Sitry any longer. “So, did you bag him yet, you lucky bitch?”
“No she hasn’t!” Naranjo’s singsong mockery of his sister interrupted Sitry’s response. “Papa hasn’t let Sitry even NEAR Andy without one of them around!”
“Rub it in, you snitch, besides, he did kiss me first,” Sitry preened happily as she playfully shoved Kalai’s shoulder.
Kalai pretended to stumble and almost caught Sitry’s foot, but she was just a hair too slow. “Yeah, and then you gave him a black eye, you clod.”
“Will you let it go? It was an accident!”
“It’s not even the only one he got either." Naranjo’s interjection stopped her right in front of their door.
“Wait, what? Who hurt him this time?” Kalai let her bag thunk to the floor as she turned to look accusingly between Sitry and Narny.
Sitry folded her arms and her ears twitched back as she shot a dark look at their door. “He ‘fell down’ yesterday while out at one of the Hatcheries we gave to the Hwatcoms. Mrs. Toloui nearly had a fit! She said she could smell another human on him and that he was covered in blood!”
Narny nodded primly as Kalai tried to process what they were telling her. “WHAT? Did she call out the militia? Track down whoever hurt him?”
“No, and he refused treatment and insisted that no one did it to him! When papa tried to talk to him, Andy said some stupid human macho shit about pain healing and birds liking scars. I don’t know, sometimes humans… they’re frickin’ insane!”
The door shot open and there stood Andy. His left eye was an angry puffy yellow and blue mess, and there were three points on his lips where a dark cinnabar line marked a crack. Kalai and her siblings stood in wide eyed shock at his sudden appearance and the only sound was the music emanating from the common room behind him.
Andy looked up and down at the three without saying a word. He cocked an eyebrow and snagged Kalai’s bag before any of them could react and cleared the doorway for them.
Kalai sputtered at the impropriety but Naranjo and Sitry just shrugged and walked in after Andy. “Femboys, am I right?” Narny whispered to Kalai as he passed. Kalai followed behind and was greeted by the white fluff-ball, Puck, who hopped up and down, whining for attention. She bent down and started scratching his ears and back. While Puck rubbed up against her hands, Andy settled back down at the table where his omnipad was hooked up to a keypad. Her heart started to sink a bit and Kalai shot Sitry a jealous look before the music came to a sudden halt and Andy interrupted the beginnings of her pity party.
“Ok, Kem’ira, I got the pics now and I’m telling you to declare yourself to the farmers first! I guarantee if you tell them you’re with the new DNR and you’re there to kill all the Scotch Broom in their pasture lands, they’ll stop trying to shoot you for trespassing!”
Kalai’s mood jumped up a bit. It’s not that he doesn’t care to see me, he’s in a meeting!
“No, no I’m not coming out to talk this over with them, I’ve got my own work to do! Either you start talking to folks like I showed you how, or ask the militia to give you one of their armored catsuits to wear under your uniform… Uh-huh, good luck." Andy hung up on the call and leaned back as Puck scampered over and hopped up in his lap.
Andy rubbed his temples before shaking his head. He seemed to relax a bit and Puck slid off to follow Sitry to the kitchen. Andy looked over and gave Kalai a happy smile that made her flush. “Welcome back! So how was the land down under? That tuna was fan-frickin’-tastic, if you aren’t sick of seafood I’ll do something fancy with it tomorrow to celebrate your coming back. Can’t tonight though, I got volun-told to be head chef tonight and I… Oh damnit! I’m late! Come to dinner, burgers and fries Indian style tonight. Gotta run!” With that, Andy went dashing out the door with Puck barking and scrambling along after him.
Kalai felt her heart sink back down again, as he left. “Andy I-” She started but he was gone.
“Yeah, it’s been like that for the whole week. The only time we get to hang out is dinner.” Sitry commiserated as she took Kalai’s bag into their room. “On the other hand, we might get to catch up during the family meal tonight.”
The dinner was delicious, though a bit weird. It tasted alright, but there was a certain aftertaste on the sandwich that just didn’t sit right with Kalai. She just couldn’t put her finger on it. The french fries more than made up for it though, and Mama Sakalbi had to hold a science trivia contest to see who got the last little handful.
Kalai and Narny were already silently plotting with each other for their revenge against their sister who had won and refused to share the last few matchsticks when Andy finally joined their table. He was sweaty and he smelled of woodsmoke and french fries. Kalai jumped up and offered him a seat next to her with a nervous smile. He took it gratefully and seemed to sag a bit as he gulped down a glass of water.
“Andy, I think you may be finding your calling as a culinary ambassador,” Mama Aftasia beamed. “A toast to the chef!”
Andy gave a shy smile and looked down as Kalai and the rest of the family gave a hearty ‘Here, here!”
“It’s a simple enough recipe; it’s just using bison instead of cow, that’s all, and I don’t know anyone who’d turn down hand cut fresh fries. It’s kind of hard to screw up.”
“Young man, you are speaking to a woman who found a way to take cold water and dried wumpa flakes and wind up with a Class-4 fire. Cooking has always seemed like ‘blight mysticism’ to me, and these foods? These flavors? Nothing short of a Greenwood miracle in my opinion." Mama Aftasia continued her praise of Andy, which only caused him to shrink even lower in his seat.
“To be honest, I like your salmon better,” Kalai said, and the whole table went silent. Kalai held her ground though, and was rewarded with a tired but genuine laugh from Andy that brought him back out of his shell.
“You know, I do too. My Clan were fisherpeople, not buffalo chasers.” Andy gave Kalai a cheeky grin, which she returned happily, her heart glowing. Mama Aftasia and Mama Sakalbi both blinked in bemusement at Andy’s statement while Sitry just giggled.
“Speaking of which, Andy, I received a call from Elder Alex Hwatcom.” Papa Rhaxiid’s change of subject instantly perked Andy up, and he stared silently, waiting. “He extended an invitation to our family to attend his family gathering this Friday-”
“Alex said that? He used those words?” Andy shook his head in shock as he interrupted Papa Rhaxiid. The table went quiet and everyone held their breath as they looked between the two men.
Papa Rhaxiid adopted as good an impression of the human Elder as he could. “I’d like to extend an invitation for you and your family to be guests at our family gathering this saturday up at the White… something… lodge-”
“The White Ram Lodge?” Andy sat forward, interjecting again as the color drained from his face.
“Yes, that’s the one! I asked if we could bring anything since the last time they hosted us they put on that wonderful spread. He said if we could bring a few salmon for the family, that would be wonderful.”
Andy leaned back and took another sip of ice water before holding the glass to his blackened eye. “Alex Hwatcom… just invited you… to a gathering… and he told you to ‘bring a few salmon’? Do you realize what a huge honor this is?”
Rhaxiid looked from his wives to his children with mild concern. “Um, I thought it was only dinner, but your reaction tells me there’s more significance to this than I originally thought. I was thinking about our stocks of adult Sockeye, but then I remembered in his story how important King Salmon are. Of course, I’d like to defer to you for the choice since you know these animals and the cultural expectations with this invitation better than we do.”
Andy was silent for a moment before he put the glass down. “I’d recommend a ‘hard no’ to all your clone stock!” Now it was the Vaidas’ turn to be shocked, as each of Kalai’s Erbian family’s jaws dropped in synch. Before anyone could say anything, Andy continued, “You need to bring wild-caught. Farm-raised salmon wouldn’t… well we can tell, and you can taste the difference between them. We need to go fishing!” Kalai leaned towards Andy slightly as he lowered his head and started mumbling to himself. She was just able to make out what he was saying to himself as Mama Sakalbi and Mama Aftasia began whispering to each other. “...need to get the Gillnetter out of storage, check what’s running and select the mesh. I’m gonna need a deckhand too.”
Kalai reached a hand out but stopped short of touching him. “Andy?”
He popped up and spoke for the whole table to hear. “I need a shuttle to the mainland and a waiver against the fishing ban. I’ve got to get my boat and the drum ready for sea ” Rhaxiid and Aftasia sputtered in confusion, but Mama Sakalbi had a shadow fall over her, and her ears pulled back.
“Do you mean to say you want to go out on the water? Risk the ecological balance for… dinner?”
Andy looked Sakalbi dead in the eye and gave her a firm nod. “Why don’t you come out and see how we did this before you got here. Think of it as a chance to see the way we’ve fished for the last hundred or so years, and then I can explain the way we used to fish before that.”
The offer snapped Rhaxiid out of his confusion and he brightened. “A learning experience? Wonderful, we’ll make a day of it!” His hands shot out to grab both his wives’ and Kalai could feel the vibrations in the floor from where he was excitedly tapping his feet.
“If you don’t mind hard, smelly work. Uncle Willy always called it ‘the worst desk in the prettiest office.' It’ll be a bit cramped, but I’ve got room on the boat for a few guests and observers; four I think would be ok. She’s a working boat, not a pleasure cruiser,” Andy explained. That sent the whole lot of them excitedly talking among themselves.
Kalai was about to lean in to talk to Mama Aftasia, but Andy caught her attention first. “I don’t suppose you’d want to go back out on the water, given you just got back from pleasure-boating-”
Kalai’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. “I wouldn’t miss it for my own colony planet!”
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Kalai stood on the pier, bundled in her thermal sailor’s coat. It was still dark and the wind blew from the north in a cold little morning breeze. Kalai took a deep breath and reveled in the smell of the fresh sea air. The soft chattering of Mama Sakalbi’s teeth broke the silence. “It’s a bit chillier than it said it was going to be.”
“The water always does that. It’s never as warm as the lubbers say it’ll be,” Papa spoke as he handed her back her thermos of hot chocolate.
Papa stood next to Kalai and nudged her with his elbow. Even in the dark, Kalai could see him smile up at her and jerk his head at the shivering Erbian. He was also wearing a thermal sailor’s coat, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets to keep them warm, just like Kalai’s. “Landswoman,” he whispered to her and the two of them shared a knowing smile. It was strange, but welcome when she'd told Papa about her upcoming day fishing with Andy, and he’d politely requested to join them. Papa Rhaxiid had graciously given his spot up to accommodate her birth father. Narny was all for it until Andy had explained what they were going to do, but then surrendered his challenge to the fourth guest space, not wanting to go anywhere NEAR anything that could see him come face to face with a Lion’s Mane Jelly. Sitry had done a happy little dance when she found out, but only yesterday had come down with Thistle Fever, and was bundled off to bed by her parents. It left Kalai, Mama Sakalbi, and Papa to accompany Andy on his fishing trip.
The water brushed against the shore behind them quietly. In the gloom, Kalai could just barely make out the outline of the nearest island mountain, but only because the stars had disappeared behind it. It was almost four in the morning, but Kalai had managed a catnap on the shuttle to the empty little lot that had been the boat launch. Aside from the water, the world was silent. Even the breeze made almost no noise and a sense of peace surrounded them. Everything was so calm, Kalai felt like she didn’t have a care in the world.
In the distance, a low rumbling sound of a motor rose from being almost imperceptible to a rolling drum of thunder. From around the point, two green floating lights sped through the darkness, and a spotlight turned on. The beam of light moved jerkily until it came to rest on the pier where they were standing and Kalai started waving her arms. Sakalbi’s omnipad rang, and Andy’s voice shouted over the speaker and the background noise for them to shine a light on the edge of the pier to help him park the boat.
Kalai and Papa moved closer and turned their omnipad flashlights on and waved them as the boat swung gracefully around and glided in alongside them. Kalai caught the rope that flew over the railing of the boat and she heard more than saw Andy moving around on the deck as she tied off on one of the mooring cleats. Several lights clicked on and the deck was bathed in light enough for Kalai to get a clear view of the boat they’d be spending the day on.
Andy hadn’t lied. Kalai saw that this little vessel was a working boat with no frills at all. When he’d told her they’d be going fishing, she’d envisioned something like the charter boat papa had taken her on out of Nantucket. Sporty, fast with a nod to comfort and function. This was not that at all. A giant wheel as wide as Kalai’s outstretched arms that looked like a sideways spool of thread was secured to the deck amidships and dominated the deckspace. Wrapped around it was a fluorescent green tangle with a line of oblong white and yellow corks and rope. There was a covered hatchway sitting behind the drum in front of the raised step to the enclosed cabin. Two large windows let the light out to two children’s bunks, a little table with a booth seat and a raised captain’s chair in front of the helm and engine controls. Andy shut down the engine and that peaceful stillness returned.
“Oway there!” Kalai called, “ship oway! Request permission to come aboard.” Kalai gave the traditional greeting of a Shil’vati sailor.
“Permission granted! Anyone need a stepstool?” Andy finally stepped into the light and Kalai got a look at him. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and the same bright orange coveralls she’d seen the fishmongers wearing on their date.
“I wouldn’t mind a hand, Mr. Shelokset.” Papa He’osforos braced a foot on the railing of the boat and Andy pulled him up.
“Just call me Andy, Doc, and welcome aboard. Jackie should be along any minute now with the day’s groceries, and the cabin’s out of the cold. You can get yourself set wherever you find comfortable.” Papa nodded and disappeared around the other side of the wheel moving towards the bow.
Kalai helped Mama Sakalbi into the boat next, and she quickly ducked into the cabin that took up the entire stern section save for a little ledge that ran along the outside. Andy gripped Kalai’s hand and she smiled as he pulled her deftly aboard. The boat rocked a little on its mooring, and Kalai almost fell into Andy, who wordlessly put his arms around her waist to catch her as she lost her balance. She flailed for a moment before she steadied herself against him.
“Gotcha,” Andy smiled, and Kalai could see him flush almost as much as she could feel herself doing as their noses almost touched. Those big dark brown eyes surrounded by white orbs drew her in and she felt she could lose herself in them. Kalai started as Andy danced her around him and moved her towards the cabin door.
“It might be a little cramped for you in there, but the Mary Jean wasn’t built for pleasure boating, she’s a working girl. Sit tight, I gotta check a few things in the back.” Andy patted the railing affectionately before he hopped up and scooted along the outside of the cabin towards the stern. Kalai couldn’t help the little longing groan that came out as he left her there on the little tiny quarterdeck. Her heart was hammering in her chest as half formed fantasies danced at the edges of her mind.
“I saw that, little minnow.” Papa’s voice was soft, but his tone and the sudden broken silence nearly gave her a heart attack.
Kalai could only stammer as her father stared at her with a cocked eyebrow. A thump from the cabin window behind saw an amused Mama Sakalbi daintily sipping at her thermos with her ears twitched forward in interest, staring out at her. “Papa I… he-”
Papa moved carefully around the covered hatchway to stand next to her, leaning back against the cabin window and heaved a sigh. “I must say I’m surprised. This lovely man’s got good clean lines and is very well cared for. It speaks well of his Skipper.”
It took a full minute for Kalai’s brain to process that he was talking about the boat and not Andy. “And the way Andy brought him in smooth in near complete darkness? It gives me confidence in his abilities.”
Kalai breathed a silent sigh of relief and exasperation. Although she was happy to be spending more time with her father, bringing him on what she’d hoped would be a sailing date wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind for ‘family time’. He wants me to find a nice young man and spend time with him on a boat, but the first chance I get Papa decides to clam-jam me.
From up on shore, the sound and lights of a large human vehicle screeching to a halt heralded the last of their party to arrive. Kalai heard the clomping footsteps coming down the pier and moved to the railing to lend a hand.
“Ahoy Mary Jean! Raggedy Andy, you there?” Kalai stared with wide eyed surprise to see a human female, loaded down with plastic bags and sporting two human weapons on her shoulder. The two of them locked eyes, and while Kalai didn’t understand everything the girl shouted in surprise, she had caught and understood the phrase, “What the fuck?”
“Easy now, they’re my guests, and the one inside is the boss!” Andy appeared on the pier instantly before either Kalai or the woman could react further.
“Ya didn’t tell me we were having pur-” The woman glared at Kalai and her father. She had switched to Vatikre thankfully, but her tone was hostile as she dropped everything but her weapons. “I mean, hwun’eetums, aboard. A gal could get the wrong idea pretty quick in the dark when there’s no warning.”
“Knock it off Jackie. Let’s get the grub aboard and shove off.” Andy picked up some of the bags and took the guns as Kalai offered a helping hand over the railing. “Oh, Kalai, this is Jackie. Jackie? Kalai. That’s her dad over there, Doc He’osforos. He saw and treated Kay Tee a few years back.” Andy jerked his head towards the direction of Kalai’s father as she held out a hand to the human girl. On a quick inspection, she appeared to be about the same age as her and Andy. She had a round face and was about as dark complected as Andy was. She was shorter, only a few inches taller than Papa, but when Jackie grabbed Kalai’s hand to hop up onto the rail, she could feel the strength and the compact muscle hidden by the baggy sweatshirt and pants.
“Wait a minute, did you say Mini-Me over there saw Kay Tee? You’re fuckin’ with me!” Jackie stumbled a bit as she hopped down onto the deck with a loud thunk and advanced on Papa who shrank away at her advance. “You saw li’l Kay Tee? Where the fuck is he? Is he alright? Is he still fighting the good fight?”
“Last I saw, yes, he was ‘fighting the good fight.’” Papa looked over at Andy with a slightly worried expression. Andy smacked the girl in the back of the head, causing her to flinch and she opened the door to the cabin for Andy to go inside.
Jackie rubbed the back of her head and laughed. “Well that’s a little bit of alright, innit? Maybe today’s gonna be a good day after all!”
“Jackie, get suited up and get on the bow. I need a good pair of eyes on the roller horns,” Kalai heard Andy shout from the cabin, followed by a whole lot of thumping and banging from cabinets being opened and closed.
“You got it, ol’ man. We going to your place or mine?” Jackie sidestepped in and opened a tiny little closet and pulled out a set of rain gear that was identical to what Andy was wearing. Kalai collected herself and stood in the doorway next to her father as they both leaned in.
“Mine; Chuck said the Yaw’much are running from the South. We’ll do a set nor’west of Lummi in the Rosario and see if we can get some Fraser Kings,” Andy replied as he turned the engine back on and the vessel roared to life.
“Chuck? Isn’t that one of your cousins? I didn’t know he could keep track of the movements of Salmon, may I ask how he does it?” Mama Sakalbi perked up as she pulled a set of earplugs out of a pocket and inserted them.
Andy prevaricated a bit, looking from Jackie back to Sakalbi then to Kalai and Papa. “I’d rather not answer that-”
“Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law! Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law!”
Jackie began singing a human song, and Andy threw her the dirtiest of looks as she finished getting into the orange coveralls. Mama Sakalbi sputtered as Andy shrugged apologetically.
“Make a hole!” Jackie called, and she and Andy came back out as Kalai and Papa made room for them. Andy hopped back onto the dock to cast off while Papa ducked into the cabin.
“Can I help?” Kalai offered as Andy shoved the vessel off and leapt the gap over the black water below.
“You want to be useful? Come forward! I could use an extra set of eyes!” Jackie called back, and Kalai felt a slap on her shoulder from the boisterous human woman.
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Andy stood at the helm, watching Jackie and Kalai as he leaned to get a better view of them past the Net drum. The bow was lifting up again, and the gentle little swells became like speed bumps, jostling them up and down in a predictable bouncing rhythm.
“Are you sure you couldn’t slow down, Andy? It’s a bit rough, don’t you think?” Sakalbi was hanging on to the table and her thermos with a worried expression on her face.
“I could, but we’ll miss the morning set. We want to bomb out the buoy right when the tide changes. If we’re lucky, then we’ll get around seventy or eighty by slack tide this afternoon and call it a day.”
“How do you know where to fish?” Dr. He’osforos was making a good show of standing and maintaining his balance with his hand on the booth.
“Well, there’s two ways you know. The first is you fish the spots your family’s fished since time began. Every family has about two or three different secret spots that we know there’s fish in, and we’re pretty defensive about their locations. The second is by smell. Right now it’s the tail end of the King season, and you can smell them in the water.” Andy turned and saw the incredulity etched on the faces of the two aliens.
“No, I’m serious! King Salmon slime is really pungent, and you can smell them when they’re close to the surface. We get to the fishing spot and take a deep whiff. If we smell them, we’ll set the nets.” Andy laughed at the disbelief on their faces as the GPS on his omnipad beeped and he turned to sail around the last buoy and head for the fishing ground.
“I’ve never noticed that in any of the Kings we’ve raised-”
Andy suppressed a laugh as they caught a larger swell as they left the lee of Lummi Island. Andy reveled in the feeling of weightlessness as the deck rose up and fell out from underneath their feet, leaving everyone suspended for a moment in midair before falling back down. A massive spray of water rose and washed over the deck, drenching Kalai and Jackie, who were still forward. “Cloned and farmed Kings don’t have that same smell. Wild ones smell and taste different, I’m telling you!” Andy pulled back slightly on the throttle as they climbed the next swell. “Brace!” he called as they climbed and fell once again.
There was a look of fear on Sakalbi’s face as she gripped the table for dear life, but to Andy’s surprise, the Doctor looked completely unfazed, and was handling the rise and fall of the deck like an old salt. “You look like you’ve done this before, Doc.”
“I’ve done a stint or two at sea before,” he spoke, in the same tone Andy would have used when trying not to sound too confident, and Andy smiled.
“Kalai keeps talking about loving the sea and sailing. Did you teach her to sail?”
“Yes, me and her mothers. When they were home, we would take the family yacht out in the Vaascon Straits and sail around the Occidiens. Kalai practically spent all her early childhood on a sailboat.”
“And almost every waking moment on one in Junior Academy. I swear you couldn’t dig her out with a trowel when she wanted to go sailing,” Sakalbi managed to add in a word as the boat slowed, and the dramatic rise and fall of the deck slowed with it.
“What about you, Mr. Shelokset, did your father teach you to sail too?”
“I was too young before he passed. My Great Uncle Willy taught me after I came home, and Grandma took me out to the family fishing sites when she wasn’t busy with the Council. For the first two or three years after they let us come home, fishing was the only way to feed our families, but the Militia and the Cambrians would try and sink our boats or arrest us whenever we tried to go out.”
“And that’s why you’re so good at maneuvering your vessel in the dark with no instruments?” Mrs. Vaida had folded her arms, and her voice twinged with that imperious tone she’d had when they’d first met.
Andy huffed a dry laugh. “I did what I had to for me and my people and to survive, Ma’am. I don’t like breaking the law or dodging lasers and gunfire, but there’s a lot of poor families that need to eat.”
The GPS beeped, and Andy gave Mrs. Vaida a slightly defiant look to counter her furrowed brow. “We’re here,” he said as he threw the engine in neutral and opened the cabin door.
Andy walked out and took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the net and the exhaust from the engine. “HEY JACKIE! WE SMELL MONEY?” Andy yelled out as he took stock of the sky. The first signs of sunrise were chasing all but the morning stars away and a light fog was rolling in from the north.
“FUCK YEAH I CAN SMELL ‘EM, ANDY! LET’S BOMB OUT AND GET BREAKFAST GOING!” Jackie looked slightly manic as she smiled brightly. Kalai, on the other hand, looked wet and miserable as she shivered, arms wrapped around herself. Andy gave his cousin a disgusted look as he pieced together what had happened. Every deckhand learned when to duck behind the raised bow and the roller horns that guided the nets so as not to get a faceful of spray when cutting through a swell. It was also a classic hazing trick for Senior Deckhands to let Junior Deckhands learn this the hard way.
Andy moved forward to stand in front of the two of them. Kalai was trying to squeeze her coat dry, but Andy knew it wouldn’t do much good until the sun came out. Jackie at least had the sense to look a little remorseful. “Kalai, why don’t you go sit in the cabin and get out of that wet coat. It’s cold enough out here even for us-”
“No way, Andy. Junior deckhand Kally here wants to impress you and get her dainty soft hands dirty! She’s been bragging about being a sailorwoman and wants to learn to fish ‘your way!” Jackie gave Kalai’s shoulder a wet slap as the poor alien woman went blue. Out of cold or embarrassment, Andy couldn’t tell.
All Andy could do was shake his head and huff. “Ok then! Secure the buoy and sling on my mark. I’ll get us in position!” Andy couldn’t help but chuckle as he heard Jackie start ordering Kalai about. Andy went back into the cabin and looked in the closet/bathroom to see if there was anything hanging up that he could give Kalai. There was only the one rain slicker and a few of Andy’s old sweaters from when he was a lot smaller. Well, looks like I’ll just be cold today. He quickly stripped out of his sweatshirt and grabbed the slicker before throwing a switch on the main control. Dr. He’osforos and Mrs. Vaida threw him quizzical looks as he went back outside wearing less than when he came in. He was down to a sleeveless shirt and his coveralls, and the morning breeze cut right through him and he braced his jaw to keep it from chattering.
“We’re ready to go- Andy, why are you practically naked from the waist up?” Kalai was staring wide eyed at him as he approached her and Jackie was on the bow. Jackie had everything ready; the buoy line was strung through the horns and ready to toss out. A giant orange and blue beach ball sized float hung at the end of the line to mark the end and make it easier to pick up later.
“Trade me your coat for these. If Jackie’s putting you to work, you’ll need these to keep warm.”
“I’m alright, I can-”
“I’m the Skipper of this boat, and I’m ordering you to take off that wet coat and put these on; and Jackie?” Andy gave his cousin a long and piercing look. “Give her the elbow gloves, not the halfsies.”
The scoff and the muttered Salishian profanities meant he’d read the next prank she’d had in mind right. She was planning on giving her the cloth gloves with only the palms and fingers coated in rubber. While perfectly fine for fishing, Andy knew they tended to get soaked through very quickly and did nothing to keep jellyfish stingers and fish slime off your hands. Kalai sputtered for a moment before she complied gratefully and she accepted the dry clothes and rain slicker.
Andy saw Jackie give him a strange look before looking back at Kalai, but he paid it no mind. He walked back to the controls on the drum and switched off the hydraulics, placing the mechanism in neutral. “SLING IT!” Andy called as he took the small jerry rigged steering wheel and threw the boat in reverse. Kalai jumped as the line started unspooling the net into the water at a rapid pace.
Andy set an ‘S’ bend in the quarter mile long net, zigzagging backwards until they came to the end of the line. Andy stopped the boat as Jackie tied off the other large buoy and tossed it over the side, unstringing the cork-line from the roller horns in the process. He pulled hard over and put a bit of distance from the net before shutting the engine down. The line of white and yellow corks marking the net bobbed lazily with the swells as silence settled over the water again. The waves rocked the boat gently as Andy found his sea legs again.
“Alright, I’ll get breakfast going. Jackie, Kalai? Post the watch for seals,” Andy called as he walked back into the cabin to fire up the tiny little gas stove.
Sakalbi, having found the confidence to stand at last, poked her head out of the cabin and stood on by the hatch to the fish hold. “Seals? Why would you need to watch for seals?”
Andy grit his teeth and looked over from where he was cracking open and scrambling eggs. “They’re the spawn of Satan and we hate their guts!” Andy bit out. Jackie came back and pulled the two shotguns and a pair of binoculars from the closet. Andy reached over to a side cabinet and pulled out a box of shells for them. Both his boss and the Doctor’s eyes got wide.
“Seals are the enemy of our blood. Were it not for the invasion, our unending war against these vermin would continue to this day!” Jackie growled as she loaded one for herself and rested the other on Andy’s seat at the helm.
The look of growing horror on Sakalbi’s face towards their facetious declarations caused Andy to chuckle a bit, before launching into an explanation. “We’re not fans of the species because they’ll wait until a fish gets caught in the net and then they’ll steal it, costing us a fish AND ripping a big hole in our nets that we then have to take time to repair. We use the shotguns and buckshot to give them a nice welt and convince them not to hang around, because they’ll wait up on the surface and watch the buoys, just like us. A single seal can and will take between five and ten fish. The worst is when they start getting full, they’ll just bite out the bellies of a salmon in the net. We can’t really do anything with that fish once it’s ‘seal-bit’. So yes, as fishermen, we hate them.”
“Learned opportunism in apex predators as a response to human activity… I think I’ll go see this behavior for myself!” Sakalbi practically rushed out the door towards the bow where Jackie was sitting on the roller horns explaining to Kalai how to spot the bastards, leaving Andy alone in the cabin with the Doctor while he cooked breakfast for them all.
Dr. He’osforos sat down heavily in the booth and pulled out his omnipad. “I’ve had a word with my friend in the Interior. She’s pulled the warrant for your brother, and I’ve withdrawn the charges I filed.”
Andy froze and turned around slowly. The only sound was the sizzle and pop of the eggs and chorizo that he’d added to them in the skillet. “You mean… it’s done? He can come home?” A wave of light headed euphoria swept over Andy and he swayed with the gentle rocking of the boat. “I will pay you back, Doc-”
The doctor held up his hand and stopped Andy. “We’ll call it even, but there’s something… I was able to get my hands on this,” Andy watched as the doctor swiped something towards his omnipad and it dinged. “What is it if I may-”
“Are you really asking an Indian to tell you a story? Because it’s going to be a long one if you are.” “I’m Sevastutavan, young man; we invented long stories.”
Andy froze and stared at the screen of his omnipad. The Vatikre was heavily accented, and Andy had a bit of trouble with the unfamiliar accent, but centered in the frame in a hospital room, sitting in a wheelchair, was a Salishian boy. Andy blinked in surprise as he stared at the screen. “Is that-”
“I am Ikw’is’hi’ehlah, and this bearer is… of the Orca Clan Sheloksets. I drove our Haida enemies onto the rocks and took many heads when they attacked our winter village on Orcas Island. I signed the Treaty with the Great White Father and I fought against the slavers of the south-”
Andy wanted to grab the omnipad but the smell of overcooking eggs brought his attention back to breakfast and Andy stirred and scrapped the food quickly, trying to save it.
“I asked her for any materials she could give me on your brother. Pictures, recordings, anything. This is what she gave me. It's the last known recording of your brother during an interrogation conducted by a Navy Commissar prior to his escape. It seems he made friends with a Pod of Deaths Head Commandos. Quite a bit of the recording has been redacted, but… there are portions of it where he talks about his family and his history. I thought you might like to have it.”
Andy hurriedly pulled out paper plates and a slice of bread for everyone and scooped a heaping portion of the chorizo eggs onto them. He handed the doctor his before leaning out the cabin door. “Slop’s on, come and get it!”
Andy sat down after moving the shotgun out of the way and started the video over again as the three women came back to grab their plates and lost himself watching his brother start telling his story.
“What’s that?” Andy heard Kalai ask over his shoulder, and he paused the video.
“That’s my brother! That’s Kay Tee!”
“Holy shit, what?” Jackie nearly shoved Kalai into Andy as she jammed her bread slice down her gullet and crowded in to see the screen.
Andy started the video over a second time and they watched in silence. “God, that brings back memories. Back when mom was still alive and before we broke up the warband. I can’t believe that slippery little punk ghosted a pod of Commandos for two fucking years! Holy shit, that’s badass!”
Before Andy could say anything, Sakalbi started coughing and brought the binoculars up. “Uh, Andy? Jackie? What do we do about sharks?”
Jackie looked at Andy in confusion. “Sharks? There’s nothing but Dogs around here.”
“Well those are shark fins and they’re charging the net!” Sakalbi pointed and Andy looked up to see dorsal fins charging the center of the net.
Andy looked at Jackie and spoke the same words in tandem, “Oh shit!”
​
First:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/yz0u3h/the_cryptid_chronicle_chapter_1/
Previous:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/13nh0oe/cryptid_chronicle_chapter_29/
Next:
To be posted 6/4/23

A couple of days ago, there was a great post here asking the differences between DeSantis and Trump (policy wise). That led me to look into whether or not any of the Republican candidates actually have their policies available for voters to look at. So, I decided to see what I could find on each of their official campaign websites. That list would be: Trump, Haley, DeSantis, Elder, Asa, Vivek, Scott (and Pence, because its looking like he will choose to run). What I found:
Trump: https://www.donaldjtrump.com/issues
DeSantis: https://rondesantis.com/
Elder: https://www.larryelder.com/
Asa: https://www.asa2024.com/solutions
Vivek: https://www.vivek2024.com/america-first-2-0/
Haley: https://nikkihaley.com/
Scott: https://votetimscott.com/
Pence: https://advancingamericanfreedom.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Freedom-Agenda-English.pdf (policy list from 501(c)(4) organization Pence started)
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Summary:
Trump: 15 individual sections that can be searched and are too long to type out here. Some specifics in those sections include adopting a Parental Bill of Rights, congressional term limits, ban on lobbying for former congressional members, and restoring Remain in Mexico.
DeSantis: Had no specific policy page that I could find (if someone does, could they link it?). I am assuming this is because his announcement was so recent.
Elder: 8 topics in his policy section (crime, school choice, inflation, racial harmony, economic growth, China, immigration, restoring America's cities). There were not substantial specific policies under these sections.
Asa: 11 topics in his policy section (energy, border security, national defense, taxes, unity, China, religious liberty, building America, healthcare, Russia, and Criminal Justice). There were not substantial specific policies under these sections.
Vivek: 5 different goals under 5 broad topics (a total of 25 policy commitments he has). While I can't list them all here, those 5 main areas are: reviving American national identity, Unleash the American Economy by achieving >5% GDP Growth, declare Independence from Communist China, dismantle managerial bureaucracy, and end weaponization of government and financial markets). Each section has specific goals, along with associated articles/videos/podcasts. Policy examples include ending affirmative action, make political expression a civil right, incentive trade schools, achieve semiconductor independence, Oppose CBDCs.
Haley:...Had no specific policy page that I could find (if someone does, could they link it?)
Scott: Has a series of 7 videos describing his policies.
Pence: His 501(c)(4) has a 28 page document with specific policies grouped into: American culture, American opportunity and American leadership. Policies include building up the Navy to a 350-ship fleet, halt the use of the Nord Stream 2 pipeline, Allow longer timeframes for Congress to disapprove a rule issued by a federal agency, Revamp the World Trade Organization (WTO).
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Summary:
-2 candidates did not have a policy page (DeSantis, Haley)
-2 candidates have generic policy pages (Asa, Elder)
-2 (3) candidates have more extensive policy pages at the time of writing this (Trump, Vivek, (Pence))
-1 candidate has chosen to rely on videos so far (Scott)
​
With that said, is there enough here for the American voter to make an informed choice between these individuals? Can we parse anything out from how these individuals have chosen to market themselves? Do you think they will become more detailed as we enter the primary season?

I know I'm not the first one to come here after the drive-pocalypse a couple weeks ago. And I know there's lots of opinions about using the cloud here. But I did know this was coming, but it was too cheap to pass up while it was available. And I'm currently a student so I don't have the ability to drop a grand on drives to ensure the security of my data and to be able to replace drives at the drop of a hat, so the cloud is still my best bet for really precious stuff it seems.
But anyway, my current plan is to buy some more drives for my Unraid server and pare down my google drive from 50TB to below 5TB to just irreplaceable things (that also have local backups) like my carefully curated mostly Music collection, podcast collection, and rare video and fan edits. $19.99 is still not bad for 5TB of storage. My understanding is that will stay the same price for now? Or is that going to go up to $36, because I can get 5TB of personal Drive storage for $24.99.
The rest I'm going to try to get down to under 30TB. I currently have 2x 3TB drives on my unraid server. No parity drive currently because it was only half full with linux iso's that were seeding, so pretty non-crucial data.
Now I'm thinking I'm gonna have to rethink that. My budget is around $500, and I'm not entirely sure what my timeline is since it looks like I'll still have read access after July 16. Are WD Red Pro's a good direction to go? Any difference in reliability in the 12TB and 14TB models? I would like to add a parity drive eventually but nothing on the Unraid server will be irreplaceable, so I'm trying to weight that into things.
Thanks for your help in advance.

• Have fun.
• Communication and Consent: Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial. Discuss your desires, boundaries, and expectations before engaging in any swinging activities. Consent is paramount, and both partners should feel comfortable and enthusiastic about participating.
• Educate Yourself: Learn about the swinging lifestyle, its various dynamics, and the rules within the community. Understand the different types of swinging, such as soft swap (non-penetrative) and full swap (including sexual intercourse), and decide what you are comfortable with.
• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and rules with your partner and communicate them to others. These boundaries can include limits on sexual activities, emotional involvement, or specific preferences you may have. Do not request/grant a change to the boundaries in the middle of a play session, separate from the session and discuss.
• Respect and Etiquette: Treat others with respect and follow the etiquette of the swinging community. Remember that consent can be withdrawn at any time, and respecting others' boundaries is essential. It is common courtesy to politely decline an invitation if you are not interested.
• Safer Sex Practices: Prioritize safe sex by using condoms, dental dams, and other appropriate barrier methods. Regularly get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and share your results with potential partners.
• Privacy and Discretion: Swinging is a private matter for many individuals. Respect the privacy and confidentiality of others. Avoid sharing personal information or photos without explicit consent No cameras out without the consent of everyone that MIGHT be in the shot, including backgrounds, mirrors, etc.
• Take It Slow: Start slowly and gradually explore the swinging lifestyle at a comfortable pace. Attend social events, meet other swingers, and get to know them before engaging in any sexual activities.
• Emotional Considerations: Understand that swinging involves more than just sex. Be prepared for possible emotional reactions or jealousy and have strategies in place to address these feelings. Regularly check in with your partner to ensure that both of you are emotionally secure throughout the experience.
• Boundaries Within Relationships: Swinging should enhance and strengthen your relationship, not replace or fix any underlying issues. Be mindful of the impact swinging may have on your relationship and address any concerns openly and honestly with your partner.
• Community and Support: Engage with the swinging community, both online and offline. Join online forums, attend social events or clubs, and connect with experienced swingers who can provide guidance, support, and advice.
• Emotional Preparedness: Swinging involves sharing your partner and engaging in sexual activities with others. It is important to be emotionally prepared for potential feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or unexpected emotions that may arise. Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial to navigate any emotional challenges that may arise.
• Trust and Honesty: Trust and honesty are the foundations of a healthy swinging experience. Maintain open lines of communication with your partner and be transparent about your feelings, desires, and boundaries. Trust and respect are key to ensuring a positive swinging experience for all involved.
• Consistency of Rules: Consistency in applying the rules and boundaries set by you and your partner is vital. Make sure both of you are on the same page and maintain a unified front when interacting with other swingers. Regularly reassess and adjust your rules as necessary to accommodate your evolving comfort levels.
• Different Swinging Dynamics: Swinging encompasses a broad spectrum of dynamics and preferences. Some couples may prefer same-room play, while others may opt for separate rooms. Understand that there is no right or wrong way to swing, and each couple or individual has their own preferences. Find what works best for you and your partner.
• Confidentiality and Discretion: Swinging is a private and personal lifestyle choice for many individuals. Respect the privacy, confidentiality, and anonymity of other swingers. Avoid sharing personal details, photos, or information about other individuals without their explicit consent.
• Continuous Learning and Exploration: Swinging is a journey of exploration and personal growth. Stay open-minded and be willing to learn from experienced swingers. Attend workshops, read books or articles, and engage in discussions to expand your knowledge and understanding of the swinging lifestyle.
• Enjoyment and Personal Agency: Swinging should be an enjoyable and consensual experience for all involved. Prioritize your own pleasure and personal agency. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or want to discontinue swinging, it is essential to communicate that to your partner and take the necessary steps to ensure your well-being.
• Careful not to over-indulge in alcohol or other substances.
• Addressing insecurities is important. For men…penis size, not being to maintain an erection. For women, breast size, body issues, etc.. For both, feeling sexually inferior after a new partner.
• Room etiquette: If you know you are going to be sweaty/lots of fluids, put a towel down. Put the towel in the hamper and clean up the space. If you made a mess, let the host know and help change the sheets/clean up.
• Don't hog the private rooms. Don't open closed doors, don't open closed curtains. If there is a rope up, that means you can watch, but stay behind the rope. If you haven't talked to someone before, the time to approach them for the first time is generally not when they are naked on a bed.
• Have fun.

I've always been hesitant to share my code. It's not that I believe it's subpar, nor am I plagued by imposter syndrome. It's just that sharing code offers a glimpse into the madness that is my mind, and that feels somehow cruel for everyone else. Allow me to guide you on a journey that nearly drove me to the brink of sanity. It all began with Google's Lighthouse update.
For the SEO uninitiated, Google's Lighthouse update represented a substantial shift in search ranking, hinging on a website's performance and adherence to best practices. If you'd like to test your website, simply open it in Chrome on a desktop, press F12 to open the Chrome developer tools, and then click the "Lighthouse" tab. Choose either Desktop or Mobile and click "Analyze". After about a minute, you'll receive five scores, each ranging from 0 to 100, for Performance, Accessibility, Best Practice, SEO, and Progressive Web App (PWA).
Before delving into the technical details, let me introduce myself. My name is Jonathan Grantham, and I'm the proud owner of a small B2B SaaS company, Nexoid, which specializes in ERP and ITSM software. The website I'm discussing in this piece is www.nexoid.com. Feel free to have a look, open up the source code. You can also follow me on LinkedIn. My profile is https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathongrantham/.
Upon the release of the Google Chrome Lighthouse update, I did what any conscientious business owner would do: I checked my website. Much to my dismay, the results were far from satisfactory. With scores of 21/100 for Performance, 30/100 for Accessibility, 45/100 for Best Practice, 11/100 for SEO, and a failure for PWA, I was shocked. I had personally built the website, a fairly standard Single Page Architecture using React.js. The scores were a crushing blow.
Undeterred by the initial setback, I launched MS Code and began addressing the issues one by one, with Performance being my first target. The guides provided within the Lighthouse tool proved quite useful. I converted all images from JPEGs and PNGs to modern WebP files, and ensured that every img tag was equipped with a width and length property to prevent layout shifts. These modifications alone boosted my score from 21/100 to 60/100. It was a significant improvement, but far from perfect. The only suggestion remaining was to "reduce unused JavaScript," which wasn't particularly helpful. The only JavaScript present was the React.js framework, as everything else had been eliminated.
Despite my persistent efforts to rectify the issue, I was met with constant roadblocks. I attempted to remove parts of React.js, explored "lazy loading," and tested various optimizers and compressions. However, the issue stemmed from React.js itself, which was approximately half a megabyte in size.
I can almost hear seasoned web developers shouting, "Don't use React for a website! It's meant for building web applications!" I'm well aware of this now.
What began as a seemingly simple task of converting a few images had now morphed into a complete website overhaul using a new framework. Frustrated and uttering a few choice words under my breath, I set out in search of a suitable replacement. I first considered Vue and later Angular, arguably the biggest competitors of React.js. However, they both presented the same issue.
In an attempt to simplify things, I decided to look into older technologies, and gave jQuery a shot. Yet, I was met with the same problem. It became abundantly clear that there wasn't an off-the-shelf Single Page Architecture framework that could appease the Google deities.
It seemed my only remaining option was to resort to vanilla JavaScript.
My series of experiments began with a basic HTML page without any JavaScript. Then, I tried an HTML page with a div whose contents could be replaced. I quickly realized that making multiple simultaneous changes to the page via JavaScript incurred penalties from Lighthouse. The solution was to manipulate the contents of the body tag as a string and then reintegrate it, thereby creating only a single visible DOM change.
I now had a minimalist HTML page with an empty body tag, complemented by a small onload function in the head tag. This function inspected the URL and executed an HTML GET request to retrieve the corresponding text file containing the page's body HTML. One would think this is a suitable solution. Unfortunately, it fell short when I attempted to dynamically load JavaScript functionality.
Unlike other tags, if you add a script tag with a simple alert("yes this fired") into the body contents string, it won't execute. Although not ideal, one workaround was to parse the body string, identify all the script tag contents, and place them in a JavaScript eval function. The approach was somewhat effective but stumbled when dealing with namespaces, and the developer console was flooded with unsightly warnings. The solution was to extract the script tags from the HTML and add them as a script element after the DOM had rendered. Google did not penalize this action for some reason.
Progress was being made, and I had a basic Single Page Architecture solution. But not so fast. While Google is efficient at indexing Single Page Architecture pages (they do this by opening it in a browser, allowing all the JavaScript to run, and then scanning the DOM), Bing, Yahoo, and other major search engines use a similar, simpler method. However, most other platforms like Facebook, Reddit, LinkedIn, and WhatsApp only fetch the HTML file, retrieving a small HTML file with a blank body. My solution was not viable. I now had to replicate this concept for every page on the website and include the JavaScript to switch to Single Page Architecture mode when a user clicked on a link.
I needed a tool capable of generating HTML for each page, based on my solution. It occurred to me that I had the perfect resource at my disposal: my own ERP system, Nexoid. I created a Nexoid model encompassing a website and web page data objects. The website record facilitated the creation of a generic template webpage, while the web page records contained the content for each individual page. The final piece of the puzzle was a workflow function or script that could read the website record and all related web page records to generate the HTML files. After a few days, it was operational. I had created a basic Content Management System (CMS). Developing a CMS to this point is not overly complex; the real challenge arises when integrating other CMS workflows, approvals, localizations, previews, etc.
A key requirement for the new website was localization; we aimed to launch it in 11 languages. Being an IT company, I naturally leaned toward technological solutions. Rather than hiring a translator for every page, I opted for AWS Translate. While AI translators are decent, they're not perfect, and the errors are noticeable enough to reveal a non-human origin. A French-speaking staff member evaluated the AI translation and gave it a 6/10, describing it as "understandable, but not proper French."
However, we stumbled upon a valuable trick. We found that feeding the English text through ChatGPT first, asking it to 'tidy this up', and then pasting it in, it rewords the text in a way that's still English but is much more compatible with the language models. Using the ChatGPT-reworded English as the base for translation significantly improves the translation quality, elevating it to a 9 or even a perfect 10 out of 10.
Having developed a solid technological foundation for creating the website, I was making progress. However, a new challenge emerged as we began to build more complex pages. Under the new Lighthouse guidelines, it became necessary to consolidate all JavaScript, CSS, and HTML into a single file. This also applied to the Single Page Architecture versions.
We resorted to inserting all JavaScript and CSS files as inline tags. A similar strategy was required for the Single Page Architecture version. We created a JSON file containing all scripts, styles, and HTML.
Lighthouse identified the next problem as the size of the assets; the HTML and JSON page files were excessively large. I resolved this issue using 'minify,' a Node.js library specifically designed to compress HTML, CSS, and JavaScript files. This solution resulted in a reduction of text file size by over 40%. Additionally, minify offered the added benefit of obfuscation, making the raw code more difficult to read, enhancing security.
Let's delve into the topic of hosting. Traditionally, a Content Management System (CMS) operates via an application server that handles the user's HTML request. It interprets the page request from the URL, locates the corresponding assets in a database, retrieves the database record (possibly alongside others), processes the information to assemble the page, and finally delivers it to the end user as a flat HTML document. This description primarily pertains to the initial HTML request when a user visits a new website, although I am aware of AJAX and other similar technologies.
However, this conventional model presents certain drawbacks in the context of the new Lighthouse world. Firstly, the back-and-forth communication between the application server and the database server, as well as the page compilation, introduces delays. Secondly, in its simplest form, an application server and a database server are only physically available in a single location. This setup is excellent if you're in the same building or city, but significantly less efficient if you're attempting to access the site from the other side of the world. For instance, the average ping latency between Australia and the UK is approximately 250 milliseconds.
Our solution to these challenges involves utilizing AWS S3 for hosting the static files generated by the previously mentioned publish script, and AWS CloudFront for global content distribution. At the time of this writing, AWS CloudFront was distributing content to over 90 cities in 47 countries. For an individual in Melbourne, Australia accessing a UK website, AWS CloudFront reduced the ping latency from 250 milliseconds to a mere 13 milliseconds (this is the time difference between Melbourne and AWS edge servers in Sydney).
We now arrive at the Progressive Web Application (PWA) component of the Lighthouse test, which was not something I had previously given much consideration. For those unfamiliar, a PWA involves a JavaScript service worker that manages the website as a web application. If that's a bit complex, consider it this way: it's essentially an automatic downloading and caching tool. When a user visits your website, the goal is to make their subsequent requests as speedy and seamless as possible. The PWA service worker allows you to already have the next assets downloaded to the user's local machine, eliminating the need for another internet GET request.
At the time of writing this article, the Nexoid website is relatively small, containing only 19 pages. However, those 19 pages are translated into 11 different languages, making a total of 209 pages. Initially, I tried to download every asset into the service worker, which amounted to around 5MB. This size was too large for an initial load, and Lighthouse penalized me for it. I settled on downloading only the English page JSON files, which include all the necessary CSS, HTML, and JavaScript to display each page.
The final structure is as follows: An S3 bucket houses the compiled HTML files, named without the .html extension. For instance, http://www.nexoid.com/en represents the English homepage HTML, /de is for the German homepage HTML, and /en/platform refers to the English platform HTML, and so on. Additionally, there are JSON files that contain the parts of the body and head that change when navigating between pages, such as /en.json, /de.json, and /en/platform.json, among others.
In conclusion, comprehending Lighthouse posed a significant challenge. I am skeptical that traditional, out-of-the-box CMS products can effectively tackle this task. Reflecting on my experience with platforms like WordPress and Drupal, I find it hard to believe that they could be optimized to achieve a perfect Lighthouse score. Overall, I believe the effort is worthwhile, and Google is justified in placing more emphasis on performance. However, this shift is and will continue to be a considerable pain point for web designers and agencies.
If you're interested in learning more about Lighthouse or if you'd like to discuss Nexoid's products and services, please don't hesitate to get in touch. You can reach out via LinkedIn or through the 'Contact Us' page on our website.
https://www.nexoid.com/en/contact_us
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathongrantham

The kill switch is an important feature in a VPN because it helps ensure your online privacy and security even in the event of a VPN connection drop. Here's why the kill switch is significant:
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1. Protection against Data Exposure: When you use a VPN, all your internet traffic is routed through an encrypted tunnel, providing a secure connection. However, if the VPN connection drops for any reason, your internet traffic may revert to your regular, unprotected connection. This exposes your data to potential monitoring or surveillance by your ISP, government agencies, or other entities.

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1. Prevents IP Address and Location Exposure: When the VPN connection drops, your real IP address and location may become visible to websites, online services, or anyone monitoring your network. This compromises your anonymity and can be used to track your online activities or target you with personalized ads or malicious activities.

​

1. Maintains Privacy during Network Transitions: In some cases, your device may automatically switch between different network connections, such as switching from Wi-Fi to a mobile data network or vice versa. These transitions can momentarily disrupt the VPN connection. The kill switch ensures that your internet traffic remains protected during these transitions, preventing any data exposure.

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1. Preserves Security for Sensitive Activities: If you engage in sensitive activities such as online banking, accessing confidential documents, or communicating with sensitive information, the kill switch becomes even more critical. It ensures that your data remains encrypted and secure, preventing unauthorized access or interception.

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1. Peace of Mind: The kill switch provides peace of mind, knowing that your online activities are protected at all times. You don't have to constantly monitor the VPN connection or worry about accidental disconnections. The kill switch acts as a failsafe, instantly cutting off your internet connection if the VPN becomes unavailable, keeping your data safe from prying eyes.

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It's important to note that not all VPN providers offer a kill switch feature, so if maintaining your privacy and security during VPN connection drops is a priority for you, make sure to choose a VPN that includes this feature.