Since rewatching Revenge of the Sith about a year ago I've come to appreciate it more in a lot of ways. In particular I've warmed up to the idea of Anakin's fall to the dark side being motivated by wanting the power to save Padmé, because of his own fear of losing people, rather than being a simple "seduced by power for power's sake" situation as it was presented in the original trilogy. It's a much more interesting concept... in theory, anyway. There are still two major problems with its execution:

1. It overshadows everything else motivating Anakin's choice to turn against the Jedi and join the dark side.
2. Anakin goes full-on evil far too quickly, leaping right from panicked despair over helping kill Mace Windu to slaughtering little kids in the space of an hour or so.
3. Anakin seems to lose his original motivation almost immediately, as is particularly shown in his last conversation with Padmé on Mustafar.

What I want to do here is not a complete rewrite or reimagining. It's just an adjustment of all the stuff that's already there in Revenge of the Sith but not used to its full potential.
The first really important change I'll make is in the scene where Palpatine reveals himself to Anakin as the Sith lord. Rather than just being like "Join me and I can save Padmé", Palpatine should be doing everything he can to reinforce the trust they'd already established with each other: saying "All I want is to bring order and security to the galaxy", and "In all the years we have known each other I have never lied to you", and so on. Anakin is still conflicted, so he still reports Palpatine to the Jedi, but he needs to be able to have genuine loyalty to Palpatine rather than just making it an obvious deal-with-the-devil situation.
So when Anakin walks in on the Mace-vs-Palpatine duel, it should be Anakin himself who kills Mace Windu outright rather than just cutting his hand off and having Palpatine finish the job with Force-lightning. It needs to be Anakin's deliberate choice to side with Palpatine over the Jedi Order, out of the genuine belief that the Jedi had been holding him back and manipulating him, and that they'd been plotting to take over the Republic (which, as we see in the movie, isn't entirely false) and so need to be completely purged root-and-branch. Anakin should not appear to be throwing himself on Palpatine's mercy: he's long believed Palpatine to be wise and just, and now he's going all-in on that existing loyalty.
So Anakin (who notably doesn't have his Sith name yet) is sent to the Jedi Temple – but his role is to destroy the defences on the Temple gates, so that the clone troopers can pour in and do the dirty work of massacring everyone inside. As I said before, Anakin isn't that far gone yet: he's only been a Sith apprentice for about an hour.
We'll then have the brief scene that night with Anakin and Padmé before he leaves Coruscant to go slaughter the remaining Separatist leadership (who are not on Mustafar, but elsewhere). And the next day, Palpatine announces the founding of the Empire.
And now, crucially, we'll skip forward in time a few months. Anakin is now hunting down the remaining Jedi who initially escaped Order 66, and now he's progressed to killing kids: we'll actually see him cut down a Master and Padawan. He's using the Sith name of Darth Vader and fighting with a red lightsaber – and he's wearing the familiar Vader mask with voice-changer, but with a black hooded robe rather than the suit and stackhat. Meanwhile, Padmé is now very close to being due, and has formed a secret political alliance with Bail Organa and Mon Mothma. She and Anakin have grown distant; their last conversation is not unlike their last one from the movie except with no Force-choking, and it ends with them at an impasse. Anakin also leaves his old blue lightsaber with her now, saying that their unborn child can wield it in the glorious new society they will build.
Anakin has to leave now, though, because Obi-Wan has been on the run all this time and has just been tracked down to Mustafar. Anakin starts off wearing the Vader mask but takes it off almost immediately. He thinks that Obi-Wan has been sadly misguided by the Jedi Order all his life, which makes him dangerous to the security of the Empire regardless of their personal history together. Their duel ends a bit differently, as they make their way up to the rim of a volcano – Obi-Wan ends up stabbing Anakin right though the chest, pretty much destroying his lungs and severing his spine; Anakin then falls into the volcano, lands on an outcropping in the crater and is motionless as he catches fire, making it seem to Obi-Wan that he's got to be dead. When Palpatine arrives and sees the state of Anakin he says something like "We'll salvage what we can". Then, when Anakin is revived in the Vader suit, Palpatine says something like "Do you remember who you are?" and Vader replies "I am... Darth Vader." It's a more subtle sign that despite Anakin's original motivation being his fear of loss, his actions have caused him to lose everything including his own identity. It also preserves a bit of mystery for the viewer watching chronologically: exactly what is the deal with Vader anyway? Does he remember his life as Anakin at all? Was he saved from death by Darth Plagueis's thing that Palpatine had been talking about earlier? Given that Palpatine said "salvage", could Vader just be Anakin's clone? These questions are set up to be answered in The Empire Strikes Back confirming that he is Anakin and remembers everything.
Speaking of preserving mystery, the twins are not named on screen in this movie. Well, Luke can be, but Leia definitely isn't. Padmé is quickly taken away from Coruscant as soon as the Mustafar duel happens. She doesn't die, but after Anakin's apparent death she's in a deep depression and just reacts numbly when she's told that the twins need to be separated for their own protection. We know that Luke will go to his uncle and aunt; we don't explicitly find out where Leia and Padmé will go into hiding, only that Bail Organa will arrange it.
Some other points:

• That balcony scene with the "So love has blinded you?" banter does more harm than good to build up their relationship and can be cut.
• The deleted scene where Yoda talks with Qui-Gon's spirit ought to be left in.
• I kind of like the idea of post-Mustafar Obi-Wan, Padmé, Yoda and Bail Organa all reuniting on Dagobah, and that being the planet where the twins were born, rather than some generic moonbase. Mostly because of the part in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke says "There's something familiar about this place..."
• We don't need to see the Death Star under construction: it just raises too many questions. Perhaps we can just see the hologram of the plans again.

(I originally posted this fix about a year ago, the day after rewatching Revenge of the Sith for the first time in years, but it was soon removed because it was the wrong day of the week. I've only made a few changes to wording: the ideas are the same. Before the original post was removed a commenter explained the intention behind how the actual movie structured Anakin's fall to the dark side, how it was all about his fear overcoming his capacity for love and how his immediate leap to committing atrocities was an expression of his self-loathing et cetera et cetera – and okay, I understand, but I honestly think that was dumb and melodramatic and not how people actually behave, so I'm changing it.)

so I met this guy a couple of months ago and we really hit it off at first and I thought that he really liked me. He even invited me on a trip with him and offered to pay for the accommodations. So this guy was traveling all around, so it wasn’t anything serious. I was meant to go to this place with him and then he go to the next place on his list and I go back home where we met. But while we were there, he didn’t like the place that we went to, and he asked me if he could stay at my apartment and stay back in the city for a few days (where I live). I said yes, because I felt like I owed him because he had paid for a lot of our dinners and he let me stay at the hotel that he had booked in the city that we had went to.
But then he started acting more distant with me. We were hanging out every day before i let him stay at my place, and suddenly he wanted to only go out with the friends that we made together by himself, and he basically dis invited me all future hang outs. (i introduced him to these people) One night they were doing something cool and I asked if I could join and he said yes and when we got there the whole entire time he was flirting with this girl and not talking to me at all. Like yeah we weren’t together it was just a fling but common decency to not try and hook up with a girl in front of the girl you’ve been hooking up with.
it was then I finally realized that the guy was an asshole and i lost all interest in him. but he was only staying there for a few more days, so I just didn’t say anything and stayed civil. Luckily for me he was only at my house to shower and to change his clothes but I’m pretty sure he spent all the nights at this girls house. The day came for him to go and we said our goodbyes , after he left he pretty much ghosted. but I didn’t really care because I already knew he was an asshole.
But then one day he started talking to me more and he was calling me every day. We were texting every day. I entertained it because the conversation was good and then it was nice to have someone there whenever I was bored to talk to you, but that’s all it was to me just someone to talk to you when I was bored. Then he asked me if I would go with him to another city that he had next on his travel list , and if I would split the hotel with him because he had to get a tattoo done in the city.
Now, he had previously told me that he went too crazy with his money when he was in my city and had run out and wasn’t living off of so much. He had his mom sending him 100 bucks every few days for food. He has been expecting a few thousand dollars from some money from insurance but he had planned another two months of travel so it wouldn’t be enough. He also asked me if he could come back to my city and stay with me for a month because he really liked it. I then realized that he was giving me all this attention for the past two weeks just to warm me up because he thought that he could benefit off of me to help fund his travel costs. meanwhile, the past two weeks we had been talking every single day he was also a dick to me a lot.
So I told him yes, that I would go with him and that yes he could stay with me in my city. But of course, I had no intentions to. I let him believe that for another week or so while we have been talking every single day and he had also been a dick to me a lot, and didn’t treat me well at all. When I finally got enough of pretending. (about 2 weeks before “our trip”)I told him that I don’t wanna talk to him anymore because I don’t like how he treats me. Suddenly he starts panicking and trying to call me (because he needs me at this point) and I just tell him nope, good riddance. And then i block him.
I just looked at his Instagram story , today he was supposed to be in the other City to get the tattoo that he told me he had been excited about for a year. But instead he’s at his grandmas house :) I’m guessing that he couldn’t afford to go. Maybe next time be a genuine person and don’t use people while being a dick to them and the odds will go in your favor.
Maybe some of you see this and think I was too harsh. But i’ve been used so many times before, and this is the first time i’ve been able to recognize it and I was fed up. He wasn’t going to get away with insulting my intelligence like that.

How much does she charge per hour usually? I’m tryna slap it up

[Trigger Warning: SA]
My therapist just told me I sexually assaulted my very recent ex-bf of almost 5 years. At first I thought he had taken what his therapist said out of context that "he sounded like a rape victim" because I told myself he said no, and we made up and had consensual sex. No. She said, "I coerced him and, that's sexual assault."
I was sexually assaulted as a child by my Mom's friends daughters and am just now processing the trauma with EMDR with my DBT therapist.
Hurt people DO hurt people.
I am ashamed and extremely sad I lost the best life partner I ever had.
It was a luxury to have him call me his gf.
Except for the red flags.
Daily morning sex was our rhythm for the first 12-18 months or so during the honeymoon phase. Then one day he thought I orgasmed and I didn't and he did. I wasn't thrilled about having to use my Hitachi that's when he first laid into me with verbal abuse and body shaming. He said he hated me and that I was a washed up hag and that after sex masturbates in the bathroom to pretty girls because he hates his life. I really don't know why ignored that red flag. Instead of listening, I let it eat at me and devour the relationship. I retaliated with emotionally abuse by distance, avoidance, and coercing him into sex to make me feel superficially better temporarily. I felt addicted to sex with him and wanted to fulfill his sexual desires instead of them being filled online in his hand. It had taken over me. My peers and therapist insisted that it wasn't sex addiction and normal. I am a demisexual and I was trying to push intimacy in a world where the foundation of emotional connection was shattered. We were wanting to go poly I was just waiting for him to get a job and start helping out before he started dating. It just seemed logical and when I told him that originally he said he respected that.
I am 18 years his senior and felt on top of the world confident before I got together with him.
I have been verbally abused before but not to this extent and never been body shamed. I felt trapped. By his controlling behavior and wild mood swings it felt like I was walking on eggshells. (I'm currently in the middle of reading 'Stop Walking on Eggshells'). It felt like a game I could just never win at. He also told me he felt like he was walking on eggshells. We both are working on anger control as well. Most all of the gifts he's ever given me or I've given him have been destroyed in one of his fits of rage.
I still believed/believe in his ultimate potential due to his extreme intelligence and eagerness to heal.
Over the years I naturally got closer with his family and reached out on several occasions for help by sending screenshots of his verbal abuse. Sometimes he would cut himself and I couldn't help him. I felt guilty for thinking he might need to be baker acted then guilty for thinking that he needed that and the repercussions of such a stigma on his record which is why I reached out for help. I overshared to the point of pushing his entire family away from him. I just wanted him to get the help that I couldn't help him with. I didn't know what else to do and now have immense guilt and shame for involving his family.
Our BPD got the best of us and we pushed each away before we could be abandoned by the other.
A few weeks ago, I didn't intend to break up with him it just happened. We hadn't filled our cups in over a week. I am the sole income for a household of 5 and full time student at an extremely intense medical manual therapy school and stress was beyond high financially and academically.
That is no excuse.
My ultimate goal is to be cool, calm, and collected 24x7.
There would be many days I would come home to a loving, happy partner and a cooked dinner and clean sink and many days I would come home to a verbal abuser with no dinner and dishes piled high.
I didn't care he didn't work. He helped around the house when asked and even though it was stressful financially I supported his career choices and license accruals and most everything else he expressed a desire to. Except the ones where he wanted to move to another state or country. I should have supported his desires for that looking back and not hold him back. I wanted to go with him. We both eventually would like to move out of the country. I'm working on getting my Italian citizenship right now. He loves my children and encouraged their growth as well. He was actively looking for work every day with ambitions of going to lineman and firefighting school. I was encouraging of him to start in May, that way we could both focus solely on school.
He recently got off all psych meds and shortly after I suspected he had low T. Instead of getting my labs done first I insisted he get his checked out first and he was. Now he's on HCG, working out, meditating, journaling, learning the DBT skills. I have been so proud of him. Our house has mold in it which I found out recently and was most likely contributing to our overall general depression and unideal lab work. My Doctor said it most likely contributed to his low T/low iron as well.
And then we didn't fill our cups. We hadn't cuddled or had physical affection/intimacy in days and I was starved. I played spoiled brat before he left for a weekend trip. I didn't even hug him goodbye. Tension was still high when he returned and instead of reconnecting we cuddled and napped. After awaking there was a miscommunication where he thought I was being rude and undermining (possibly B&W thinking). I didn't think I was but now think maybe it could have been some from my BPD that I was doing subconsciously?
He shutdown and said he hated me and hated living here.
After trying to calm him down and gently console him I opted to grab fast food for the littles and him to reconnect.
He hid in my backyard and again I tried to console him. He wanted his keys and to go (I assumed break up).
I went back in the house and locked the door not knowing when he would return and upon realizing he was locked out he started throwing his cheeseburger and fries everywhere. After working the day before doing 8 hours of physical labor for bill money I was so spent and beyond exhausted I threw the food onto the lawn and said, "I'm breaking up with you!" He asked for his keys and in a panic I asked him to get off my property and he could come back tomorrow. He didn't and slept in my backyard on cardboard instead.
Instead of using DEARMAN I broke up with him.
Instead of being a calm gentle wifey and ask him to please cool off on a walk I reacted.
Instead of opening my loving arms and saying please come in and I'll massage you I acted like my narcissistic mother.
Instead of coming together to support in the time of need for love we disconnected.
Both of our psyche was so fragmented we crashed and burned.
I am remembering all the good times - he seems to focus on the negative times which almost feels like disassociation because a lot of times we both seem to remember differently.
I feel the good aspects of the relationship by far outweighed the negative. I've never connected with another human as I did with him.
We held each other back by trying to control the other in an attempt to go from mono to poly and it was destructive, in our careers and social life by focusing more on the other than ourselves or loved ones, and financially by not instituting clear money boundaries and responsibilities.
We also lifted each other by encouraging massive self-growth and self-care however, and with a fiery passionate love.
We may have been trauma bonding but it felt so real and so connected.
I have been on a self-growth journey my entire life and never have I grown so much in the past 5 years than I have with this man. We were unhealed and angry but we were growing. Our goal was to stand next to each other supporting each other and not restricting the other while communicating effectively.
We were on our way with weekly individual, couples, and even family DBT.
EMDR has been helping process my unresolved trauma and I know it's going to take a while but I'm ready to finally heal from BPD. Dr. K says recovery rate is 91% after 10 years.
I'm ambitious to highly succeed and my goal is 3-5 years.
The hole in my heart hurts too much to ever have to go through this again ​
​
On a side note - I am definitely running solo for a while and only interested in healing, growing, and hitting my emotional, financial, schooling, and parenting goals. However, I recently logged into an old profile and re-downloaded a dating app that is to make friends and date to test his washed up hag theory.
Immediately my inbox was overflowing with messages from men saying how gorgeous and beautiful I am.
I may need reconstructive tt and breast lift surgery from 175 lb. extreme weight lost but I know I am beautiful both inside and out.
I tried to find validation in my significant other.
A death sentence.

Book 1: Raraku

Epigraph

Another entry of Sayings of the Fool by Thenys Bule. I've wondered before what kind of Fool the title refers to; I'm now comfortable saying that these are sort of anti-proverbs, which are examples of folly that must be avoided in others. The fool swims across the desert sands, because he has "seen shells and the like//On this desert floor." Thus, he "swims this land's memory//Thus honoring its past." Curiously, the Fool recognizes the suicidal nature of the task, "For [he] shall drown long before//[he is] done." Also, he is not dying of dehydration, but specifically drowning. It is the past that shall kill him.
The Fool has prioritized honoring the past over his life, the present. Such seems to be our lesson, and given the following chapter (and I assume Book 1 as a whole) being filled with characters making drastic choices for the sake of the past, I feel like this is a most relevant, and thus ominous, warning.

Chapter 1

A new setting, a new cast. I'd known this before I'd started GotM, but it conceptually bothered me far less than it seems to bother others. You learned a new setting and cast in the first book, right? You'd be doing the same if you backed out for another series, right? Anyway, with longer scenes and samples, I can confidently say the prose, characterization, and dialogue are all much improved after a decade's training on Erikson's part. This all also feels very Dune-ish, as well. But without further ado...

Epigraph

A poem or excerpt of a poem titled The Path of Hands by Messremb (whom the Dramatis Personae tells us will make an appearance himself at some point) It ties rather closely with the opening scenes of the chapter, so I'll give my thoughts on this once we have some more context below.

The Chapter Itself

It is the next year, 1164 B.S. and what is locally called the Sixth of the Seven Years of Dryjhna, the Apocalyptic. We get some indication as to what this means later. Mappo Runt watches a rising plume of dust moving across the desert while informing his companion, Icarium, of what it is he sees. Flat-headed, long-necked, shaggy, and black with three legs, he judges it to be some creature known as an aptorian. He also berates Icarium for his running hairdye. Disguised as a Tanno, the seven-foot, Jaghut-blooded Icarium speculates that their passage has been marked by anyone caring or knowledgeable enough to guess who they are, but such could not be helped. The presence of the aptorian speaks to another impending convergence, one which Shadowthrone is inspecting. This particular creature, ranging wide of its pack, has seemingly fallen under the sway of Sha'ik. We get some slight information on who or what Sha'ik is, but not terribly much. They do hold an army out somewhere in the desert, by a watering hold the two aim to reach.
Icarium eyes his friend, a millennium old, and as a Trell, large with a shaggy mane down his neck and back, bearing long, sinuous arms. He recognizes reluctance in his friend, and calls it out. It seems the aptorian is a demon of sorts, and Mappo is reluctant to face such creatures. Icarium, in contrast, is driven by curiosity and would press forward. They pack up camp and enter the basin.
Later, by nightfall, the two continue into the desert, and we get some nice descriptions of the land and its fauna. resting in some ruins, the two prepare for tomorrow's search. Of note, the sand faintly glows to Mappo's eyes, so I assume Trells can see into infrared? We already knew his sight was much better from the previous scene, but this helps contextualize it. We get confirmation that the land is indeed littered with tels, as that's just how long-term civilization works, especially in a desert. Separated fairly evenly at fifty years apart, there was once a rich and powerful civilization that lived here. Many of the ruins tell of a swift and violent end, although the exact nature of this end is uncertain. From this time, legends of Dryjhna the Apocalyptic have formed, resurging once again across the Holy Desert Raraku.
Curiously, the ensuing thoughts of Mappo, despite their strangeness, are considered "familiar ruts" by the text. Thoughts that deny they can discover what occurred here, that they are "no closer" than they've ever been, and that he has no reason to doubt such thoughts. They're looking for something in the lost past, and the nature of that hunt has Mappo checking himself. In the courtyard, Icarium has found something. Tiny scratch marks along the base of a column, coordinated. Could these be the imprints of passage the Epigraph speaks of? This is enough to suggest to the two that there are D'ivers nearby, and we soon find out why. They even assume a specific D'iver, Gryllen. They anticipate more shapeshifters, and it is now that I should point out that all the characters of this storyline are designated as ON the Path of Hands, indicating that this is a literal path/route which is part of some ritual or ceremony. One which seems to attract many shapeshifters, which is described here as "the fever for which there is no cure." The references to Ascendancy both here and in the epigraphs seem to indicate that this path has some ties with that as well. They also reference gates (Deadhouse Gates?) which some believe offer Ascendancy.
Speculation Time:
The Path of Hands is a path that leads to an Azath. Not the Deadhouse but the Odhanhouse in Seven Cities. Namely, because they themselves are near Pan'potsun Odhn, and are, well, in Seven Cities, lol. There is a belief that entering the fickle gates of an Azath provides ascendancy. Considering Shadowthrone and the Rope entered the Deadhouse, and Shadowthrone is evidently interested in the goings on here, there likely isn't nothing to the idea, but Icarium and Mappo seem to be heading for it for some other reason. Namely, Icarium's eternal goal, which we receive some indication of.
Icarium has lived for centuries, possibly millennia,* yet cannot remember his own past (whether this is because of magic shenanigans is currently unknown, but immortals with a mundane/finite memory are one of my favorite niche tropes in fiction so I'm all in on this storyline. It may be that he inherited a Jaghut lifespan and a human/whatever memory, causing this, but the continual reference to a curse may very well be literal) and seems to be seeking a way to recover them for what seems are personal reasons. Mappo seems to regret something in his or Icarium's past, considering his friend's curse a gift.
*This also makes his question "how long have we been friends?" into a bit of fun foreshadowing rather than just the tired "catch the audience up" question. He's legitimately asking on top of the rhetorical device.
A pack of six wolves follows them into the ruins, betrayed by their scent to be shapeshifters, or rather, one shapeshifter in six bodies. D'ivers, it seems, change into groups of animals, be it a swarm of rats or a pack of wolves. Absolutely sick. They recognize the shapeshifter as Ryllandaras, but he does not recognize them. The Trell offers to open their discourse, calling him the brother of Treach (an ascendant himself, the "First Hero") whom thought him dead. The creature responds psychically, promising to kill them, but curious of their story. They seem to feign ignorance of one another, an alliance of convenience rather then friendship, boasting that they'd be able to take him on. They do soon give up the charade, calling one another by name as a final intimidation tactic, and this dissuades the pack from taking them on. We get the implication that Icarium resorting to violence would be a very bad thing for everyone involved, such that Mappo is sworn to prevent such an occurrence. The D'ivers does not seem to recognize Sha'ik, and seems to think killing it's aptorian is no big deal. We leave Mappo and Icarium for the chapter with their disagreeing with that diagnosis, but allowing Ryllandaras to pass regardless.
The next morning, the Imperial Harbor of Hissar is filled with a fresh transport of troops, surrounded by native tribesmen and women armed and shouting, building towards a riot. Such are the musings of Imperial Historian Duiker, the same man who defended Heboric in his trial. Meeting him is Mallick Rel, advisor to the local High Fist, also named as a jhistal priest of the Elder god of the seas. That he was merely greeted by the advisor was a calculated insult. Curiously, this adviser has quickly ascended the ranks to get where he is, inviting countless dark rumors of what he may hold over the High Fist, such that any who stood in Rel's way seemed to meet an accidental end. With the ship now unloading is the new Fist of the 7th, Cotaline of the Crow Clan. Although Duiker doubts his capacity to navigate the political web of the Empire, we shall soon see he is more than adept at cowing the locals.
Mallick Rel near immediately insults the man, his words smooth and insidious. The historian remembers his quick-formed dislike of the creature. Rel informs him that the Empress has no active machinations in Hissar, whatever his source. Duiker is here to observe the new batch of prisoners bound for the Otataral Mines. It doesn't seem like a stretch to assume this is the same ship that Felisin and co. were boarded onto. Mages were often used in the Otataral mines so that they may double as a containment facility. While the mages within often went mad, it is unkown if this was from Otatartal changes or Warren deprivation. With the new batch containing so many muggles, long-term Otataral exposure can be studied in depth.
The two are approached by two more, an unnamed rough-looking captain and the lone surviving Cadre mage of the 7th, Kulp. The two newcomers express significant distaste for their new Fist and the Wickan people as a whole. MR inserts himself into the conversation to note that Coltaine is an odd choice, given the tension between the two groups as well as the Wickan's status as formerly one of the Empire's strongest rivals. But Duiker comments that this is not at all strange, Coltaine was the one to unite the clans and establish a rebellion, one the Empire had a terrible time putting down. The Emperor, in his usual fashion, acquired Coltaine's loyalty through unknown means. While the man was placed in Quon Tali backwaters to rot after Laseen's coup, the degredation of events on Genebackis necessitates the maintenance of order on Seven Cities at all costs, hence, the skilled local Coltaine is placed back in command in the face of the prophesied rebellion.
The man himself approaches the seething mob, who had been continuously escalating their hostilities over the course of the above conversation. With a sheer undulating shout he manages to quell them; compelling them to fall in line and quietly move out. Admiring this show of skill, the four comment on it, with the captain mentioning how Coaltine's political savvy matches his savage people skills. Mallick Rel thanks him for the advice. I must admit, despite spending several paragraphs describing how loathsome the man is, that his directness and frankness, calibrated to match the new energy of the conversation such to drop everyone's defenses was very well done. I myself didn't note the Captains blunder until it was pointed out. He may be a schemer but his people and manipulation skills match.
Elsewhere, sailing down from the Skara isles, our Bridgeburner crew of Crokus, Apsalar, Fiddler, and Kalam continue their journey home-ish. Fiddler, for his part, is bored and seasick, internally lamenting his presence. Crokus and Moby attempt to comfort him, with minimal success. The monkey/demon, for his part, has adopted the sapper as many creatures do.* Fid's internal monologue is a delight to read BTW. He internally frets over their coming excursion in 7C, and all the danger the continent posses.
*While I mentioned this before, it is weird to me that Mammot's familiar is just hanging around after his death. There's something there.
Apsalar calls out a school of flying fish, running from something large. Kalam mentions that its odd the hunting fish would themselves be hunted round these parts, being apex predator's in the area. The dherabi of Seeker's Deep hunt them, but they never come out into water this shallow, or on the opposite side of the continent. Unfortunately, a dhenrabi, one who's scent betrays it as Soultaken, far more massive than any natural creature, appears and begins pursuing them. I will say, this is some excellent creature design. Sure, it's "just" a centipede sea serpent, but the added details of how it swims/sinks with filling/emptying it's caprice with air, along with how it uses this to hunt is the kind of creative and interesting detail that makes this stand out without devolving into an exposition dump.
Interestingly, the Soultaken uses the opportunity to out itself by communicating with them. Fiddler uses the opportunity to warn the creature not to approach. It ignores his warning, moving in for the kill, and promptly has it's head blown off by Fiddler using a munition. My guy is just wandering around a fantasy world with a backpack of thermite grenades while being vaguely unimpressed with all the wizard shenanigans he come across. What an excellent character. As an aside, I assume this particular Soultaken was heading much in the same direction the others were, for whatever reason. I also wonder if they survive the deaths of their animal forms. Hours later, they notice some ridders on the coast, a Malazan messenger and his guards. The two Bridgeburners comunicate through glances, one touch I like with this is how Kalam's messages, while clear, are in Fiddler's pattern of speech, as we're in his head.
I'll note the likely importance of whatever this messenger is hoping to convey, but not speculate as there's nothing to speculate about. Also, Blue Moranth are apparently a thing (although they may have received a passing mention in GotM, now that I think on it) and the route that Fiddler internaly lays out gives us a rough idea of some of the geography of this world. Crokus attempts to make small talk, giving the audience a peek into the Bridgeburner's last time on 7C. The time when Kalam and Quick Ben were on the opposing side, the T'lan Imass marched for the Emporor, and somehow, the two were folded into the Bridgeburners themselves. I'll also note the mention of the "Seven Holy Falah'dan" for later. Fiddler demands the boy be quiet, as "all wars are ugly, but that one was uglier than most." Kalam himself only revealed these details while drunk.
Crokus, thwarted from one line of communication, demands that the BBs explain why they're passing almost completely through the wrong continent on their way home. They explain that they intend to assassinate Empress Laseen. Apsalar takes to this well, muscle memory brining an old smirk of Sorry's to the forefront all the while. She remembers that Kalam himself was a master assassin, high ranking within both his time under a Falah'dan and in the Claw, and is thus confident in his skills. For whatever reason, their plans and preparations begin in 7C with the rebellion. Whatever it is they intend to do here is in accordance with Quick Ben's (who can apparently just warp wherever) scheme he was cooking up at the close of GotM. For the sake of Darujhistan, Crokus agrees to the plot; and so we leave them as they land upon the coast.
Well this has been one heck of a setup! Expanding the world while still being constrained to what's been referenced before. Shapeshifters are racing an immortal amnesiac down the Path of Hands, rebellion is closer than ever, and our good old Bridgeburners are scheming to take the Empire down from the head. I, for one, cannot wait to see how it all unfolds!

A little more context for the specific situation I'm asking that I understand could be pretty relevant- at the time he gave it to me- I had given him a couple cigarettes and answered some questions and made basic conversation but also laughed off some questions and found a nonconfrontational opening (as I was wearing a pride shirt and my city's parade is coming up and he said he was looking forward to it) to say I'm 100% a lesbian- and he took out a baggie and replaced the empty space in my cigarette pack with it as "karma". Now, to clarify a little more- I really, really get this. I'm not homeless anymore and I don't think he was but our city has a strong let's say gutterpunk culture where people sharing some kind of smoke for smoke can often be very real and not sketchy. We're both currently employed and probably housed - we're both in restaurants and talked about our jobs- I know where he's at, I know some old hats he namechecked at his current job and I believe him- but I'd say could read some of this background off each other.
​
Then he spent a devoted and increasingly creepy 30 min or so alternating between small talking me about the music that was playing and trying to leverage the conversation into more personal information as I said I wasn't too familiar with it and he insisted it's very popular music that someone my age should know and tried to ask if I was "from a church family" etc- trauma fishing IMO- and trying absoltely too hard to get me to take a walk and smoke up with him. More local context- that was extra sketch as we could have smoked weed at that bar and been totally fine. It's 'decriminalized but not legal' here but we were at a spot where it's common and no problem and there are no raids or whatever. There is even specifically a courtyard where it's known to be done as opposed to inside or the sidewalk tables, but he walked me to the sidewalk tables specifically to have our cigarettes and then went on trying ot convice me we needed to walk to the park to smoke up.
I got out of it and as I said, he left of his own volition when it became clear I wasn't going to a second location and even if we're not close, I know people there and some of them were paying attention to this interaction by now.
I could very much be wrong- I have been before and that's why I'm writing this out and asking- but I didn't read him as more butthurt about it than any other dude who realizes he's struck out. No big performance indicating I owed him the drugs back if he was leaving or anything along those lines I might expect from someone giving out roofies.
I know this post sounds pretty bad, honestly I also want to clarify I'm in a decent place- I'm not asking because I'm desperate for this weed, I promise. I wouldn't hate a free joint rolling my way right now, it's off season for bartenders in my tourist city and I struggle, but honestly this is not a story wehere I'm trying to make it ok because I already know I won't throw it out.
I realized this situation this a good chance to stand back and study discernment and how I conduct myself around strange, even slightly older men. How bad is it that I let it get to this point and how crazy is it that I didn't immediately flush it in the bar after he left? I don't know- and I'm 30. He was late 40s I think. It's time for me to be sorting this kind of shit out.
When I examine my own reactions, I don't have any logical or measured assessment of the situation. My immediate reaction was "smoke up bitch" and when I push myself to be better, my brain jumps all the way to "he's probably a rapist serial killer, throw it out, report him, it's definitely laced with cyanide". So as I said, I'm embarassed to be making the post- I get that the answer is "no strange drugs from strange people" but I hope I'm making sense in spelling out how I experienced this and why that wasn't my immediate reaction even though I was wary of him as a human- and also how my cautious reaction was also probably exaggerated. All or nothing, black and white thinking. Classic trauma symptom.
I welcome specific analysis of this situation as well as general kind of answers about this type of dilemma.

I just got hired to be an assistant for a lawyer who does civil and criminal law. I’m very interested in criminal law and have taken related courses, but my knowledge about the process is little to none. I was lucky enough to get this job because someone I know recommended me to the lawyer. During my interview, the lawyer pretty much flat out said he thought my resume shows I have no skills or experience in the legal field, and that he was only considering hiring me because of the recommendation.
The person who recommended me told me the job was super simple; filing documents, printing and scanning documents, responding to emails, transcripting things the lawyer will record (pretty much for making documents, like statements of defence). I don’t know what any of the legal documents actually are, but they told me you don’t really need to know, he tells you which template to use and exactly what to type. They made it sound easy, and I was confident I could do it because I did do similar things in another office, but nothing to do with legal stuff.
The lawyer made it sound like it is really difficult to do, and if I make a big mistake, I’ll be fired right away. He said that even though I have no experience, he expects me to “hit the ground running” and not “waste his time”. The whole interview I was wondering why he was even interested in hiring me if he thought I wasn’t capable enough. Like why waste his time if he thinks I’m not a good candidate, regardless of a recommendation?
Anyways, he hired me, and I asked if I could shadow the person who recommended me to see if I was capable of doing the task. He was happy I asked, and allowed me to. From what I saw, she didn’t really do much. It was just answering emails, setting up appointments and pretrails (which there are two other people to do this for him as well). Then she transcripted a civil law statement of defence, and even she, a paralegal, didn’t know some of the forms (she did family law, but never civil or criminal). So, I figured it still looked simple like she said.
The lawyer wants me to come in on Monday to start, and I said yes. But, I’m so nervous. Even though everyone I know is telling me I’ll be able to do it, and the person who recommended me says it’s really easy, I still feel like everyone in the office will look down on me for not knowing anything. I’ll always ask questions when I don’t know anything, but I’m worried I’ll ask a stupid question and the lawyer will think I’m incompetent. I’m worried I won’t catch onto the work fast enough, and that I’ll be dragging everyone down with me. I’m scared that I really am incompetent.
How do I get over this feeling? Does he really expect me to understand everything right away or else I get fired? Or is he testing my resilience/performance under pressure? Because I know in the criminal field, there is a lot of dark information, that maybe he is worried I won’t be able to handle? (I do criminal case studies for criminal psych in uni, so I’m pretty desensitized, it isn’t a concern for me). If he doesn’t believe my experience reflects my capabilities, why even hire me? If anyone has some similar situation stories where they did well, please tell me so I can not feel so alone 😭

I(24m) live with my roommate(24f) and she will eat anything in the kitchen. I will even put a huge sticker on it with my name right on where the package opens and it will be ripped. I've asked her to stop but she never does. I've already put my non refrigerated food in my room which bothered her. She eats out for the majority of her meals and when she is home decides to eat my food so she hardly shops. I pay the electric bill because I work from home and keep the AC on all day so it's not like she has to pay for more energy.
​
The other issue is the trash in our bathroom. Somehow she fills that trashcan up fully to the point that it's bulging out and spilling onto the floor every day. Outside of doing that she is pretty clean. The morning will start with a fresh bag then she gets ready and it's 2/3 full with seemingly unused toilet paper, wipes, cotton swaps, and other things. So much toilet paper is in the trash during the day that she will go through half a 24 pack in a few days. But we each pay for our own so I don't really care. When I lived with my friend(m same age as me) we would maybe have to take out the bathroom trash 2-3 times a month if that. And a 24 pack of quality TP would last a month and some change. It's to the point that I've stopped using the bathroom trash all together. I got a small trash can, put it in the corner of my closet, and every time I just carry stuff over from the bathroom to my room.
​
She complained that the bathroom trash was full and I told her "that's all you. I haven't used that in days" and showed her my trash can I use in my room. This bothered her and she said I was being a petty asshole. It was during this that she saw the mini fridge/freezer in my room and said "so that's why there's no food!" I hadn't looked in the main fridge for like 2 weeks but when I did check recently there was some expired milk, bread, guacamole and takeout containers. I told her that it's my food and she never gives me money to get any. I don't think I'm being unreasonable or petty

I'm an American university student planning on studying for a year at a university in central London. I'm planning on renting an apartment with a friend and fellow member of my program for the duration of our time there, potentially for the year depending upon the length of the student visa (neither of us are British citizens or permanent residents, nor have we ever been to the UK). I haven't applied for a student visa yet because the application requires a CAS number that the British university has yet to generate. Accordingly, I'm not yet looking to get in contact with agents or ask for virtual tours or anything like that, but I do want to start looking at apartments with my friend to get a sense of what offers we can expect to find and what amenities in what location we'll get for what price. (We know at the very least that we'll be looking for two-bedroom apartments either located in Central London or, far more likely, with direct access to the Central, District, and/or Circle lines). To that end, I've done some research about renting in the UK, which has led me to other, more difficult-to-answer questions that I hope some Britons might be able to help me with.

1. Perhaps most importantly, how many online listings for apartments will not consider you if you do not have a British bank account? Best I can tell, I'd need a permanent address to set up an account, which necessitates signing a lease first. Is this common in London? Are landlords or agents more likely to prioritize potential tenants with British bank accounts/credit ratings, or does that not matter so long as you can somehow prove your financial trustworthiness (which I can)?
   
2. From what I can tell, on top of the rent and the security deposit themselves, I can usually expect to pay for utilities in a London apartment. Are rent and utilities the only monthly charges I should receive, or are there more? Should I expect to pay council tax (my program is full-time and lasts for a full academic year)? Will I directly compensate the broker or agent in any way? If so, will that occur as a single payment or as a recurring payment?
   
3. What's the best way to estimate the total price of utilities? Do they remain relatively constant across all two-bedroom apartments, or can I expect significant variations in their price between apartments? (We'll probably pay for a decently powerful internet plan, so we'll spend a bit more here than someone significantly older than us might).
   
4. Where do students who rent tend to live if access to the subway lines mentioned above is important? Are there any neighborhoods we should either look out for or avoid?
   
5. Finally, for those of you who have lived in both the UK and the US, are there any amenities or essential household appliances that one might expect to find in one country but not the other?
   

Thank you in advance for any information you're able to provide! If you have any other advice for renting in London, feel free to give it.

So, long post here, this is gonna be heavy
(also wrote this in a raged haze, so expect some attempted hot takes)
Both of my parents are that strange combination of supportive AND abusive. This might be something you guys might not get, but i'll explain it by saying that abuse isn't always 100% intentional, an abusive parent might think "yeah, this thing i'm doing is bad and is making them sad and hurting them now, but it will help them in the future and they'll understand I was doing it for their sake" and completely fuck up their kid while only wanting to correct a bad behavior.
​
They broke up when I was around three, so growing up, i was always with my mom, so let's talk about her for once
When i was a kid, my dad was the devil to me, but my mom was no angel either. She did a lot of things wrong thinking they would teach me a lesson.
The first thing that comes to mind was the time she turned on the cold water on the shower and just shoved me in, clothes and all. I screamed the whole time she held me there. The reason? I was yelling at her and needed to "cool off" (pun not intended, this is a rough spanish-to-english translation)
This next thing she refuses to admit, but when I was maybe six, I came home with an S from school (The way my pre-school graded things was Very Satisfactory, Satisfactory and Not Yet Satisfactory), literally the first time I'd ever gotten anything other than full marks, and she snapped at me, saying that if I ever brought back a NYT home I'd be in deep trouble. Which led to me being so anxious about doing well at school my whole time in primary that my first panic attack was at eight, when my teacher put a sad face on my paper for talking during class, and i actually cried both the first time i was close to failing a subject (which, litterally, wasn't my fault, I had the subject on thursdays and mom took me to another school I was supposed to start secondary to see the place and other stuff in three thursdays in a row) and the first time I failed a test
(she also transferred me to a school I was so heavily bullied in that I sulked into obsessions, lost interest in socialising at all and developed severe trust issues, but that whole clusterfuck was so traumatizing it got buried deep in my memory and I don't remember WHAT happened, I am just aware how it affected me because that change happened at the same time as the school transfer. AND REFUSED TO FIND A BETTER SCHOOL FOR ME BECAUSE THAT ONE WAS CHEAP AND PUBLIC SCHOOL WAS TOO SHITTY, Mom what the hell)
And this is the thing that still angers me, she was always exhausted from work, which meant she never had patience with me, but instead of saying "hey, i'm tired" or something, she'd respond to me being talkative by either not responding me, calling me paranoid or a hypocondriac any time I came to her with concerns, and, once, threatening that if I kept annoying her she'd have a stroke and answering to my question of what it was with "my brain will explode and I'll die"... I was ten at most, and I wish I was joking but I remember the mental image that mental image pretty vividly
Bringing my dad back (read my posts on insaneparents about him, seriously, i'm not joking about the devil thing and I don't consider him a father figure for the sake of what's left of my own sanity), My mom called me selfish when I told her I didn't want my dad in my life once I was an adult, and added that I was a pedantic brat when I stated that the only reason my dad was still in my life was because she kept bringing him into it and forcing me to keep in contact
Last year, she finally did something that managed to shatter my image of her, she was yelling at me about how I was doing nothing at school or at home and I just wanted to sulk in my room and laze about all day when I started crying and essentially shut myself off, and she got so pissed off I wasn't looking at her (which means listening apparently) that she yelled, full voice "I'M TALKING TO YOU" and took my flinching and staring at her in shock as me paying attention and said "See? I yell at you because you just don't respond if I don't" . But she'll always, no matter the situation, get angry at me for using a disrespectful tone when I'm just using my regular Resting-Bitch-Voice i've been using my whole life
But then, she takes me to art class every week, tries to get me to trust her with my issues and genuinely worries about me when I'm depressed. She got me almost every toy I wanted as a kid and took me to a lot of places, and this leads to me not being able to tell if I'm saying and thinking this because i'm just a spoiled kid not getting what I want or if this is a real problem, and I don't trust myself to figure it out or my parents to not just brush me off and find a reason to call me rude or a brat if I come to them about this
all of this, plus a lot of other issues with both my dad and a lot of other people, led to me being heavily depressed and anxious, having really bad trust issues, and generally just distancing myself from the people I care about because i'm worried I might snap, or annoying them too much, or generally just making people leave me, I don't know who I can trust, or how to deal with my intrusive thoughts, or things I should definitely be able to handle by 17. I've even gotten to the point where if I want to be alone, and my baby sister has none of it and wants to play with me, i'll just set her on her playmat and close my bedroom door because i don't want to yell at her by accident. I'm always pushing people away and getting annoyed whenever I want to be alone and someone talks to me, to the point I have to consiously stop myself from yelling
All this might sound ridiculous, but I'm too drained to care by now, so that was my infodumping of some of the trauma that didn't get erased as I was growing up,
Thanks for reading, i'm now going to dunk like a litter of oversweetened tea out of stress

A little more context for the specific situation I'm asking that I understand could be pretty relevant- at the time he gave it to me- I had given him a couple cigarettes and answered some questions and made basic conversation but also laughed off some questions and found a nonconfrontational opening (as I was wearing a pride shirt and my city's parade is coming up and he said he was looking forward to it) to say I'm 100% a lesbian- and he took out a baggie and replaced the empty space in my cigarette pack with it as "karma". Now, to clarify a little more- I really, really get this. I'm not homeless anymore and I don't think he was but our city has a strong let's say gutterpunk culture where people sharing some kind of smoke for smoke can often be very real and not sketchy. We're both currently employed and probably housed - we're both in restaurants and talked about our jobs- I know where he's at, I know some old hats he namechecked at his current job and I believe him- but I'd say could read some of this background off each other.
Then he spent a devoted and increasingly creepy 30 min or so alternating between small talking me about the music that was playing and trying to leverage the conversation into more personal information as I said I wasn't too familiar with it and he insisted it's very popular music that someone my age should know and tried to ask if I was "from a church family" etc- trauma fishing IMO- and trying absoltely too hard to get me to take a walk and smoke up with him. More local context- that was extra sketch as we could have smoked weed at that bar and been totally fine. It's 'decriminalized but not legal' here but we were at a spot where it's common and no problem and there are no raids or whatever. There is even specifically a courtyard where it's known to be done as opposed to inside or the sidewalk tables, but he walked me to the sidewalk tables specifically to have our cigarettes and then went on trying ot convice me we needed to walk to the park to smoke up.
I got out of it and as I said, he left of his own volition when it became clear I wasn't going to a second location and even if we're not close, I know people there and some of them were paying attention to this interaction by now.
I could very much be wrong- I have been before and that's why I'm writing this out and asking- but I didn't read him as more butthurt about it than any other dude who realizes he's struck out. No big performance indicating I owed him the drugs back if he was leaving or anything along those lines I might expect from someone giving out roofies.
I know this post sounds pretty bad, honestly I also want to clarify I'm in a decent place- I'm not asking because I'm desperate for this weed, I promise. I wouldn't hate a free joint rolling my way right now, it's off season for bartenders in my tourist city and I struggle, but honestly this is not a story wehere I'm trying to make it ok because I already know I won't throw it out.
I realized this situation this a good chance to stand back and study discernment and how I conduct myself around strange, even slightly older men. How bad is it that I let it get to this point and how crazy is it that I didn't immediately flush it in the bar after he left? I don't know- and I'm 30. He was late 40s I think. It's time for me to be sorting this kind of shit out.
When I examine my own reactions, I don't have any logical or measured assessment of the situation. My immediate reaction was "smoke up bitch" and when I push myself to be better, my brain jumps all the way to "he's probably a rapist serial killer, throw it out, report him, it's definitely laced with cyanide". So as I said, I'm embarassed to be making the post- I get that the answer is "no strange drugs from strange people" but I hope I'm making sense in spelling out how I experienced this and why that wasn't my immediate reaction even though I was wary of him as a human- and also how my cautious reaction was also probably exaggerated. All or nothing, black and white thinking. Classic trauma symptom.
I welcome specific analysis of this situation as well as general kind of answers about this type of dilemma.

3 days since DDay. My fiancé and I had been in a rut for a while. I wasn’t doing well mentally. And I allowed my feelings of inadequacy to overtake me. And take my feelings out on her. I said some terrible things. I was wrong. And I’ve spent every day since in remorse. And trying my hardest to not just undo what I said to her, but to show her I can do better. And I like to think I am.
The night I found out we had been fighting again. She left to spend the night at her dads. She said it was over. She was done with me for good. I begged. Pleaded. Sat on the floor crying. Begging her not to leave.
I called my mom. She asked me if there was someone else. How could she just so easily give up?
I told her no. Impossible. My fiancé loves me. She would never. We spend so much time together. She leaves her phone out. We watch tiktoks on it. I know the password. She would never. I’ve never felt like I had to look at her phone. We’ve been together 3 years. We’re engaged. We’re trying to have kids together. We’re in love.
My moms comment ate me up. We shared a phone line. So I looked at people she had called and texted. I saw a number I didn’t recognize. Put it in my contacts. Put it in an app.
There it was.
It was her ex.
She had been talking to her ex for literal WEEKS PRIOR to us even having this argument.
Ironically. This ex and her broke up because the ex cheated on her. This ex is also now married with children.
I called her. Told her to meet me outside.
She didn’t have an explanation. Told me it was nothing. Just “catching up.” Why it takes 3 weeks to catch up with someone who hurt you, I don’t know. If that’s all it was why didn’t she tell me. Said she was sorry.
The next morning I took her off the phone plan. Felt if she wanted to cheat on me I wasn’t going to pay for it.
I regret this. I wish I left her on so I could see what she was doing.
Every moment she’s not texting me I’m scared she’s talking to someone else.
I’ve gotten myself in therapy and on meds. All in the span of this week. I’m trying to take a breath before speaking. I’m visiting my parents so we have some space. Told her I’d like to restart our relationship. Pick her up. Buy her flowers. Take her out. Do it right and do it over. Go to counseling. Both separate and together.
I think she’s worth it. I think we’re worth it.
She still doesn’t want to get back together.
She says she doesn’t trust me. Doesn’t trust me not to overreact. To say mean things. To be mean. And I get it. I understand why she feels this way and it’s valid. But I’m trying. In a game of “who’s more wrong?” I’d like to think cheating is worse than some name calling.
She cheated on ME. And I’m willing to give it another shot. With I guess boundaries. I’ve thought about it. Either her coming back on the phone plan, or allowed access to her phone. Just something. And she’s not. And I don’t understand why.
I just keep thinking about who she’s talking to. It’s eating me alive.
Chances are no one. I think she learned her lesson. But I wish I knew for sure.
I don’t know what I need.
I wish I didn’t take her off the phone plan.
I wish I could stop thinking about it.
I wish it never happened.
I’m a mess. I don’t know what to do. What to think. I can’t stop crying. I just want her back in my arms. I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way. She cheated. But I do. I do and I love her and I just hate this.

I’m new and starting to get this, but many things still unclear. I do plan on reaching out to a CPA next week, but I still want to learn as much as I can.
Complete hypothetical. New business, S Corp. All by myself, President-nobody else. End of the first 3 months, I have $100K in my business account. That’s after all my business expenses, gas, business Amazon purchases, cell phone and other electronics, etc. I haven’t personally paid myself a dime.

1. Reasonable salary I figure for the 3 months is $40K (40/60 I hear people speak of). Obviously I’ll pay income tax (Social Security and Medicare). Does that make sense? Am I missing something?
   
2. The remaining 60K in the business account does not get taxed. I understand the benefits of an S Corp is single taxation, not double. Does the money just remain in the account as is and I can’t touch it, it just grows as I do more business?
   
3. How else can I benefit from owning my own business by myself, and get more money out of it without getting crushed in taxes?
   
4. What’s this owners draw and distributions thing I read of, I can’t make sense of it, are they the same thing? Is this distributions thing where I withdraw money when needed in addition to or instead of my reasonable salary? And is it taxed.
   
5. Will a program like quickbooks peace my business puzzle together, or do I still need a better understanding?
   

Thanks I’m advance, very grateful for any guidance?

This might be silly but I need some extra opinions on this.
Yesterday My (25f) boyfriend (27m) told me we were going to play online together, we agree to play at 10 pm. I waited and at the hour he didn't call. I called he didn't respond, I texted him a simple "hi" and then I called a second time and still no response, I figure perhaps he was still busy with his chores, one hour later I called him two times more, but he didn't answered but I figured he must have fallen asleep. I went to sleep. Today I woke up, I opened my messages and the "hi" is on read. I really do not think much about it since he probably just woke up and will text me later. The day passes, no calls, no texts. I do not text him bcs at this point I have called him 4 times and texted once so I might be seen as annoying. He calls me at 5 pm, starts talking about a game and I was upset so I was just saying yes and nos, he invites me to play online and I told him that I don't want to play since I have been playing on my own today. (Which was true I didn't say it as a excuse) He asked me "Is this because I fell asleep yesterday?" And I told him "Not, really that can happen to anyone, but you didn't text me all day" he interrupted me and said he was busy working today to which I told him "yes I understand but still you just called me and instead of asking me how am I, how was my day idk, you just start talking about games and whatever"
We started arguing and he told me he didn't want to talk about it and and I told him then just tell me when it is the right time to tell you this. He said he called me bcs he just wanted to talk to me, not to fight, that I'm being rude and annoying and like yeah okay I understand but I'm telling you I do not like this and you just got all defensive like it doesn't matter. He just told me "I'll call you later" and then hung up.
I don't know if I exaggerated, and this is not the first time he does something like this. AITA?
English is not my first language sorry for the typos.

I personally am not liking the pregnancy event much. I am currently at day 8, and through the whole thing, it’s been so boring for me, and it feels more like a chore than anything. Another thing that doesn’t help is that I don’t really care about the prices you can get, I don’t like how the pregnant Sim is pretty much out of commission during the pregnancy process (but I guess it does make sense), and I hate how you need so many Sims to get the extra coins; you have to get like 15 Sims doing the same tasks, like really? I don’t want to have to put stuff on hold for something like this, but there was one rug that I liked and thought would look good in the infant room, but it was so big that it just barely fit. Why is a rug made for infant Sims so big? I do have to admit that for the first few days it was kind of fun doing the tasks, but it quickly became a drag for me, and my lack of interest in the available items for the event probably made it worse.
But I do see why people like the pregnancy event and find doing it fun; maybe I just got unlucky with items, and maybe I’m just finding it frustrating because it’s almost the end of the school year for me. I will probably see if I am up to trying it again in a few weeks.

How does retirement work as a teacher what all comes out your check and about how much you get after you retire

BootTooBig is going dark, too.

We will join the June 12th protest of Reddit's API changes that threaten to significantly and negatively affect all 3rd party Reddit apps, bots, and moderation tools.
Starting June 12th at 00:00 UTC (8:00 pm EDT; 5:00 pm PDT), /boottoobig will switch to private and no new posts will be permitted for at least 48 hours.

• What's going on? On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced that beginning July 1st, they will start charging for currently free API calls ("Application Programming Interface;" how apps communicate with Reddit servers) - only 31 days after the announcement.
  
• Why is that bad? The price of the API calls is exorbitant and would effectively kill 3rd party Reddit apps, many bots, and moderation tools like RES and Toolbox. The app developers would either have to pay this themselves, or would have to pass the costs directly to the users. Further, 31 days' notice about a significant cost and development change is ludicrously short. Industry best practices are 6-18 months for such a notice.
  
• How much money are we talking? The Apollo dev summed it up nicely: "50 million [Reddit API] requests costs $12,000." "I pay Imgur (a site similar to Reddit in user base and media) $166 for the same 50 million API calls." "Apollo made 7 billion requests last month, which would put it at about 1.7 million dollars per month, or 20 million US dollars per year."
  
• But nothing would really happen, right? Oh, you sweet summer child. The following 3rd party apps have already announced they will shut down before July 1st (see any you use?): Apollo, Reddit Is Fun, ReddPlanet, Sync, and Relay to name a few. Additionally, even if a 3rd party app developer decides to pay for API access, NSFW content will be locked to the official Reddit App (In case the comment is deleted, someone asks "Why do you want to restrict NSFW from third party apps?" spez responds: "It’s a constant fight to keep this content at all. We are going to keep it. But the regulatory environment has gotten much stricter about adult content, and as a result we have to be strict / conservative about where it shows up.")
  
• Should Reddit profit for the services they provide? Probably. It's infeasible to expect Reddit-the-business to absorb all server, developer, and infrastructure costs of a running a huge site indefinitely. Without funding, Reddit couldn't support the traffic or our communities. That said, Reddit's approach to communications, the out-of-touch price point, negative interactions with popular app developers, a disastrous, insulting, and outright dishonest CEO AMA, and general unwillingness to come to reasonable agreements detracts from any goodwill toward continuing contributions to the success of their business.
  
• Who else is protesting? Many subreddits, large and small. An incomplete list is available, but include names you might recognize like: /funny, /aww, /gaming, /art, /food, /sports, /history, /unexpected, /android, /apple, /cats, /nasa, /whatisthisthing
  
• Is this an overreaction? No. A blackout is one of the last best remaining options that Reddit users and communities have to make their voices heard.
  
• Will this help? We don't know. The goal is to send a strong message to Reddit and its board that their success cannot be built with disregard to the communities the users have built that gave them that success.
  

Thank you all for your understanding with this. Give us your best boots for the next 24 hours, and we'll see you on the other side, whether that's here or somewhere else...
✌️❤️🥾

Hi there,
I'm a 27-year-old guy from just outside Orlando, Florida and I am seeking a real connection with a dominant woman who knows what she wants, and how to get it. Feel free to reach out if this stands out to you, I'd love to talk. I live alone and have been described by close friends as silly and compassionate, inclusion is one of the most important things in my life. I'm seeking a female-led relationship, the type of dynamic I am looking for is a life partner who is firmly in control, to what extent we can determine what works best for us. I would be more than happy to be your life partner who defers to you on the bigger decisions though I would love for you to have me in mind when making them. I recognize you are a real person so a constant dynamic isn't always realistic.
About me:
Basic stuff: I work a full-time job but also have a side hustle writing, I promise this is not nearly as exciting as it sounds but it is an increasingly lucrative thing that I'm looking to make my full-time focus sooner than later, still figuring out when sooner is though. I'm 5'7, about 140 lbs, here's a recent picture of me for reference. And as I recognize this is important to some people, I do not drive, my eyesight is very poor and as a result, I cannot legally drive, this, however, does not stop me from living an entirely independent life, most people don't actually know/can't tell until I tell them that I cannot drive.
Personal Interests: I love hanging out with friends and doing who knows what, I will admit that I am a bit of a homebody but my greatest joys in life are typically with other people, doing pretty much whatever. I am sober as in I do not drink or smoke but totally cool if you do as long as it is responsibly. I love going to thrift stores, eating great food, and really just exploring. I'm pretty nerdy in that I would say my single favorite thing to do is learn be that via YouTube videos, Reading or just getting out and trying something new, Psychology however is what interests me most and I could spend hours and hours talking about the weird ways people act and why. I also really enjoy movies and would love to know your favorite, I love anything funny or scary, and the Shrek series has a special place in my heart. Also love staying active, recently got back into going to the gym and an avid NBA followefan.
Fun Stuff
I am relatively inexperienced but I am someone who learns quickly and has done a thorough amount of research, enough that I feel that I can confidently serve a woman, the biggest part of all of this to me is the sense of belonging, the feeling of being owned by someone who wants the best for me and thus inspires me to want to be the best possible version of myself for them. I do not take this role lightly and it would be a privilege to be yours.
The Person I'm looking for:
I'm looking for a dominant woman either In Orlando or located somewhere in North America with the intention of this becoming an in person thing, I'm very open to relocating for the right situation and while I do like Orlando there isn't anything keeping me here. My ideal partner would be someone emotionally intelligent and capable of communicating in a healthy, consistent way, nothing excites me more than knowing exactly where I stand with you, for better or worse. (So I can improve to better serve.) Body type is unimportant to me as all women are beautiful in their own unique ways, as long as you take care of yourself you are my type. Age and your experience level are mostly unimportant to me as long as you're 20+ and know what it is you're looking for. Just to reiterate the connection is what is most important to me, knowing that someone has my best interest at heart and I have theirs, knowing that while I am still very much a person with real feelings but I want to be yours, completely.
Thank you for taking the time to check this out, I look forward to speaking to you soon.

Hi all,
I had 2 credit cards that I defaulted on around early 2019, RBC and CIBC. I was young and dumb, but have my shit together now and trying to fix my credit. Both of these show as "derogatory" under the revolving section in my credit report, but its not anywhere in the "collection" section - I'm guessing I just got lucky and the agencies that have it don't report.
I know that if I just ignore these, that they'll fall off in early-mid 2025, but I do want to be able to maybe do business with RBC/CIBC in the future and it just feels icky to not pay it, now that I'm financially secure and can. My questions are:
1) I intend on paying, but if I'm offered a settlement, should I take it?
2) I read Transunion removes negative info after 6 years from delinquency, so whether I pay or not doesn't impact when it gets removed.
Equifax does it from last activity (eg if I pay them, another 6 years for a total of 12 years?) I'm in BC and the reporting act says credit bureaus can't have "any other information adverse to the individual's interest 6 years after the event that gave rise to the information". How is Equifax getting around this? This is the only thing preventing me from wanting to pay these.
Thx all :)