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Hey Reddit, I'm in the market for a mini fridge and I've been doing some research on the best ones to buy in 2023. I thought I'd share my findings with you and see what you think.
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A mini fridge is a small refrigerator that can fit in tight spaces and offer many benefits. Some of the benefits of a mini fridge are:
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- Space saving: A mini fridge can fit under your desk, on your countertop, or in your closet. You can use it to store snacks, beverages, leftovers, or even cosmetics. A mini fridge can help you save space and declutter your kitchen or room.
- Portability: A mini fridge is easy to move around and transport. You can take it with you when you travel, relocate, or go camping. Some mini fridges are designed to work with car adapters, so you can plug them into your vehicle and enjoy cold drinks on the road.
- Convenience: A mini fridge can make your life easier by providing you with quick access to food and drinks. You don't have to go to the kitchen or the vending machine every time you feel hungry or thirsty. You can also use a mini fridge to store food that you don't want to share with others or that needs special temperature control.
- Energy efficiency: A mini fridge consumes less electricity than a full-sized refrigerator because it has a smaller capacity and a simpler design. A mini fridge can help you save money on your utility bills and reduce your carbon footprint.
- Extra storage: A mini fridge can supplement your main refrigerator by providing extra space for food and drinks. You can use a mini fridge to store items that you need more frequently or that you want to keep separate from the rest of your groceries. A mini fridge can also come in handy when you have guests over or when you host a party.
- Affordability: A mini fridge is cheaper than a regular refrigerator because it has fewer features and components. You can find a mini fridge that suits your budget and needs without breaking the bank.
- Aesthetic value: A mini fridge can add some style and personality to your space. You can choose a mini fridge that matches your decor or expresses your taste. Some mini fridges have retro designs, colorful finishes, or unique shapes that can make them stand out.
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How to Choose the Best Mini Fridge for Your Needs
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With so many options available on the market, how do you pick the best mini fridge for your needs? Here are some factors to consider:
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- Size: The size of the mini fridge depends on how much space you have and how much food and drinks you want to store. Mini fridges come in different sizes, ranging from 1.1 cubic feet to 4.4 cubic feet. The smaller ones are ideal for storing a few cans or bottles, while the larger ones can accommodate more items and even have separate freezer compartments.
- Features: The features of the mini fridge depend on what functions you want it to perform and how convenient you want it to be. Some features to look for are adjustable shelves, reversible doors, interior lights, temperature controls, defrost options, door bins, crisper drawers, ice makers, and locks.
- Style: The style of the mini fridge depends on your personal preference and the look of your space. Some styles to choose from are freestanding, built-in, double-door, single-door, retro, modern, stainless steel, black, white, red, blue, etc.
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The Best Mini Fridges to Buy in 2023
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Based on my research and reviews, here are some of the best mini fridges to buy in 2023:
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Best Overall: GE GDE03GGKBB 3.1 cu. ft. Freestanding Double-Door Mini Fridge
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This mini fridge from GE is my top pick because it offers a spacious interior with separate refrigerator and freezer sections, a sleek black finish with stainless steel accents, and an energy-efficient performance. It has two glass shelves that are adjustable and removable, a clear crisper drawer for fruits and vegetables, three door bins for bottles and cans, an ice tray and ice maker for frozen treats, and a thermostat dial for temperature control. It also has reversible doors that can open from either side and adjustable legs for stability.
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The GE GDE03GGKBB 3.1 cu. ft. Freestanding Double-Door Mini Fridge measures 19.1 x 18.9 x 33.4 inches and weighs 56 pounds. It has a capacity of 3.1 cubic feet, with 2.1 cubic feet for the refrigerator and 1 cubic foot for the freezer. It has an annual energy consumption of 260 kWh and an estimated yearly operating cost of $31.
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The GE GDE03GGKBB 3.1 cu. ft. Freestanding Double-Door Mini Fridge is ideal for anyone who wants a mini fridge that can store a lot of food and drinks, keep them fresh and cold, and look stylish and elegant.
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Best Value: Black+Decker 3.2 cu. ft. Mini Fridge
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This mini fridge from Black+Decker is my best value choice because it offers a great combination of quality, functionality, and affordability. It has a single-door design with a freezer compartment, a glossy black finish with silver accents, and a low-noise operation. It has two glass shelves that are adjustable and removable, a clear crisper drawer for fruits and vegetables, three door bins for bottles and cans, a dispenser rack for soda cans, and a thermostat dial for temperature control. It also has reversible doors that can open from either side and adjustable legs for stability.
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The Black+Decker 3.2 cu. ft. Mini Fridge measures 19.29 x 17.52 x 32.72 inches and weighs 50.7 pounds. It has a capacity of 3.2 cubic feet, with 2.5 cubic feet for the refrigerator and 0.7 cubic feet for the freezer. It has an annual energy consumption of 218 kWh and an estimated yearly operating cost of $26.
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The Black+Decker 3.2 cu. ft. Mini Fridge is ideal for anyone who wants a mini fridge that can store a decent amount of food and drinks, keep them fresh and cold, and save them money.
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Best Built-In: Cafe Built-In Dual-Drawer Refrigerator
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This mini fridge from Cafe is my best built-in option because it offers a unique dual-drawer design that can be installed under your counter or in your cabinet, a sleek stainless steel finish with customizable handles, and a smart performance that can be controlled via Wi-Fi or voice commands. It has two drawers that can be opened independently, each with an LED light, a divider, and a temperature control panel. You can set different temperatures for each drawer, ranging from -6°F to 45°F, depending on what you want to store in them. You can also use the Cafe app or Amazon Alexa to monitor and adjust the temperature remotely.
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The Cafe Built-In Dual-Drawer Refrigerator measures 23.75 x 23.75 x 34 inches and weighs 110 pounds. It has a capacity of 5 cubic feet, with 2.5 cubic feet for each drawer. It has an annual energy consumption of 305 kWh and an estimated yearly operating cost of $37.
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The Cafe Built-In Dual-Drawer Refrigerator is ideal for anyone who wants a mini fridge that can fit seamlessly into their space, offer flexible storage options, and provide smart features.
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Best Retro: Smeg FAB5U Mini Refrigerator
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This mini fridge from Smeg is my best retro choice because it offers a charming vintage style with a curved design, a glossy finish in various colors, and chrome details. It has a single-door design with an interior light, two wire shelves that are adjustable and removable, two door bins for bottles and cans, an ice cube tray for frozen treats, and a thermostat dial for temperature control. It also has an automatic defrost function that prevents ice buildup and maintains optimal cooling performance.
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The Smeg FAB5U Mini Refrigerator measures 22 x 15 x 28 inches and weighs 65 pounds. It has a capacity of 1.5 cubic feet and does not have a freezer compartment. It has an annual energy consumption of 278 kWh and an estimated yearly operating cost of $33.
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The Smeg FAB5U Mini Refrigerator is ideal for anyone who wants a mini fridge that can add some flair and personality to their space, store a few items, and keep them cold.

Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died…
…when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell...
...to lay the queen of beauty’s laurel in Lyanna’s lap.
https://preview.redd.it/95pwuazoe85b1.jpg?width=551&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e87e1d95f172a847411dcfa70440ffe6270a4c4c
He could see it still: a crown of winter roses, blue as frost.
Ned Stark reached out his hand to grasp the flowery crown, but beneath the pale blue petals the thorns lay hidden.
https://preview.redd.it/trpwm2gxg85b1.png?width=962&format=png&auto=webp&s=aada9b3bc346f2eb376580e1a6cf296c2f0c2276
The phenomenon illustrates the power of unconscious inferences and implicit assumptions in perception.
This is the final part of a series exploring the hidden motives and actions of the main players during Robert's Rebellion, named LBJ in reference to the influence of Lyndon B. Johnson and the Vietnam War on GRRM's views and writings on war. LBJ also indicates considerations over whether Lyanna + Bobby B = Jon Snow. Previous installments include:

• Rhaegar Had To Be A Warrior
• Why Did Rhaegar Crown Lyanna?
  • Ice, Ice Baby?
  • Political Suicide?
  • Was She 'A Very Kinky Girl'?
• The Forging of Lightbringer: Blue Flowers & Narrow Visors
• Rhaegar Mistakenly Crowned Lyanna
• I am not fond of fishsticks, but when fish is served, I eat it.
• All is fair in love and war...
• Kingsguard Loyalty
• Southron Ambitions & Lies
• The Return of the Prince: Éowyn at the Trident
• Mirror on the Wall: King Robert vs. Queen Cersei
• The Horned Demon of the Trident

This series presented a case that, like LBJ's administration lied to the public about the Vietnam War, including by exaggerating reports of an attack on U.S. ships to coerce Congress into granting broad authority to escalate the war, the winners of Robert's Rebellion implemented a falsified propaganda campaign in service to their personal and political ambitions. They capitalized on Rhaegar's mistake at Harrenhal to form a believable lie that the crown prince abducted Lyanna, when in fact both she and Rhaegar were taken by rebel allies, with Rhaegar being tortured for the crime of crowning Robert's betrothed queen of love and beauty despite the presence of his pregnant, Dornish wife. The Kingsguard at the tower of joy betrayed the Targaryens, and they granted Robert access to the tower and Lyanna after his loss at Ashford, meaning Robert may be Jon's father. And yet either of Lyanna's guards, Arthur Dayne or Oswell Whent, may have had an affair with the she-wolf, and so not even Lyanna herself was necessarily certain of Jon Snow's paternity.
This part will show how Ned's thoughts and actions are consistent with this scenario.

Ned's Dangerous Secrets

Lord Eddard Stark is defined by his love for his family and his sense of honor and justice. He prizes loyalty and abhors the killing of innocent children, but these values are often challenged by the harsh realities of the world he lives in, leading Ned to dishonor himself in ways that haunt him. Ned Stark thus epitomizes the concept of the human heart in conflict with itself.
Our first glimpse of Lord Stark's internal conflict is in Bran's first chapter. Reading between the lines, it's apparent that Ned beheaded an innocent man, as Gared was not truly a deserter but had been chased south by a hungry, pregnant direwolf. Bran doesn't reveal what Gared said to defend himself, but it's easy to imagine he explained about the direwolf, which to Ned would come off as a lie or a slight against his house, given that direwolves hadn't been spotted south of the Wall in 200 years. Lord Stark also failed to heed the omen of the antler in the direwolf's throat; besides superstitiously signaling the danger of House Baratheon, it served as a sharp lesson that sometimes absurd, seemingly unbelievable things do happen, and so it's important to do due diligence before doling out harsh penalties. The Starks are conditioned to judge deserters harshly, however, which is why Arya murders Dareon the singer, even though his desertion was justifiable given that he had been placed at the Wall on a false accusation of rape. Neither Arya nor Ned conduct proper investigations, and so despite their good intentions, they both perpetuate injustice. Likewise, Ned staunchly supported Robert during the rebellion, and though he had very good reasons to do so, he failed to question the underlying assumptions and so unwittingly participated in perpetuating injustice.
Ned continues to dishonor himself at the Trident with his daughters, when he places loyalty to King Robert over truth and justice. Despite Ned’s desire to protect innocents, he cowed to Robert’s judgement, permitting Mycah's death and executing Lady himself, though he knew they were blameless. It’s thus easy to see how Bran’s vision of the Trident involves not only Robert’s black mountain of a shadow, but also his father’s shadows, represented by an ashen hound and a man armored in gold, indicating the dark and light sides at war within Lord Eddard Stark; some lights cast more than one shadow.

He looked south, and saw the great blue-green rush of the Trident. He saw his father pleading with the king, his face etched with grief. He saw Sansa crying herself to sleep at night, and he saw Arya watching in silence and holding her secrets hard in her heart. There were shadows all around them. One shadow was dark as ash, with the terrible face of a hound. Another was armored like the sun, golden and beautiful. Over them both loomed a giant in armor made of stone, but when he opened his visor, there was nothing inside but darkness and thick black blood.

- A Game of Thrones Bran III
Ned’s personal demons are rooted in Robert’s Rebellion. When Robert tries to convince Ned to support the assassination of Daenerys and her unborn child, the second time, Ned protests that the purpose of the rebellion was to put an end to the murder of children.

“Whereas Daenerys is a fourteen-year-old girl.” Ned knew he was pushing this well past the point of wisdom, yet he could not keep silent. “Robert, I ask you, what did we rise against Aerys Targaryen for, if not to put an end to the murder of children?”
“To put an end to Targaryens!” the king growled.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard VIII
This may reference the Defiance of Duskendale, a tax dispute which escalated to King Aerys’s abduction and imprisonment, significantly contributing to his mental decline. Once Aerys was freed by Ser Barristan, he ordered the Darklyns and Hollards wiped out, except for young Dontos at Barristan’s request, and there were children among those slain. This act sent a signal to other nobles, putting them on notice that a whole family and their goodkin, down to innocent children, would be mortally liable for the misdeeds of a few.
So when Rhaegar blundered at Harrenhal, whataboutism dictates that the whole Targaryen dynasty was thus liable. This human tendency towards scapegoating and revenge is reflected in the people of Duskendale blaming Denys Darklyn’s Myrish wife Lady Serala for influencing his actions, leading them to mutilate and burn her alive. The grisly fates of those linked to the Defiance would incline Robert and his allies to ensure the abduction and imprisonment of Lyanna and Rhaegar was conducted with utmost secrecy, to protect their own families from the dragon’s retribution.
The reference to child murder may also relate to suspicions surrounding the untimely deaths of Aerys’s offspring, and it could reference the deaths of Brandon’s companions, depending on their ages. If the latter, it underscores Ned’s diminished resentment towards Aerys for executing his father and brother. It’s possible Ned felt that his wolf-blooded brother overreacted by riding to King’s Landing to threaten the life of the crown prince.

“It has a name, does it?” Her father sighed. “Ah, Arya. You have a wildness in you, child. ‘The wolf blood,’ my father used to call it. Lyanna had a touch of it, and my brother Brandon more than a touch. It brought them both to an early grave.“

- A Game of Thrones Arya II
After Brandon and Lord Rickard were executed and Aerys demanded the heads of Robert and Ned, Ned could then justify rebelling against the throne not only to preserve his own life, but also to prevent the Mad King from extending his vengeance to wipe out both House Stark and Baratheon, down to innocent children. Ned's sense of honor is able to override his sense of loyalty in response to direct threats to innocents and his family, yet he lacks the moral and cognitive flexibility to defy kings who abuse their power to indirectly harm their subjects.
So for instance, Ned justly speaks out against and attempts to resign over Robert's assassination plans, despite the real danger of a Dothraki invasion. Yet Ned does not show the same zeal for preventing the indirect threat of the crown failing to pay its debts, even though this failure would induce lenders to fund wars against the Seven Kingdoms. The ethics of economics are perhaps more complex than murder, and so it's easy for Ned to be talked into allowing the expensive Hand's Tourney to go forward, rather than educating himself well enough to recognize that the crown's debts have the potential to harm the populace far more than any dragonspawn could.

He did not have to like it, though. And come spring, when the time came to repay all that gold, he would like it even less. Tycho Nestoris had impressed him as cultured and courteous, but the Iron Bank of Braavos had a fearsome reputation when collecting debts. Each of the Nine Free Cities had its bank, and some had more than one, fighting over every coin like dogs over a bone, but the Iron Bank was richer and more powerful than all the rest combined. When princes defaulted on their debts to lesser banks, ruined bankers sold their wives and children into slavery and opened their own veins. When princes failed to repay the Iron Bank, new princes sprang up from nowhere and took their thrones.
As poor plump Tommen may be about to learn. No doubt the Lannisters had good reason for refusing to honor King Robert's debts, but it was folly all the same. If Stannis was not too stiff-necked to accept their terms, the Braavosi would give him all the gold and silver he required, coin enough to buy a dozen sellsword companies, to bribe a hundred lords, to keep his men paid, fed, clothed, and armed. Unless Stannis is lying dead beneath the walls of Winterfell, he may just have won the Iron Throne. He wondered if Melisandre had seen that in her fires.

- A Dance with Dragons Jon IX
Consider Ned’s unwillingness to defy Robert when he points out the atrocities committed by the Targaryens.

“Nonetheless,” Ned said, “the murder of children … it would be vile … unspeakable …”
“Unspeakable?” the king roared. “What Aerys did to your brother Brandon was unspeakable. The way your lord father died, that was unspeakable. And Rhaegar … how many times do you think he raped your sister? How many hundreds of times?” His voice had grown so loud that his horse whinnied nervously beneath him. The king jerked the reins hard, quieting the animal, and pointed an angry finger at Ned. “I will kill every Targaryen I can get my hands on, until they are as dead as their dragons, and then I will piss on their graves.”
Ned knew better than to defy him when the wrath was on him. If the years had not quenched Robert’s thirst for revenge, no words of his would help. “You can’t get your hands on this one, can you?” he said quietly.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
Ned does not hold the Targaryens collectively responsible for the deaths of his loved ones, insofar as he’s unwilling to use the Mad King’s unjust actions as an excuse to perpetuate the murder of Targaryen children. Ned is appalled that Robert condones the killing of children and he casts Robert’s hatred towards the dragons as irrational.

Ned did not feign surprise; Robert’s hatred of the Targaryens was a madness in him. He remembered the angry words they had exchanged when Tywin Lannister had presented Robert with the corpses of Rhaegar’s wife and children as a token of fealty. Ned had named that murder; Robert called it war. When he had protested that the young prince and princess were no more than babes, his new-made king had replied, “I see no babes. Only dragonspawn.” Not even Jon Arryn had been able to calm that storm. Eddard Stark had ridden out that very day in a cold rage, to fight the last battles of the war alone in the south. It had taken another death to reconcile them; Lyanna’s death, and the grief they had shared over her passing.
This time, Ned resolved to keep his temper. “Your Grace, the girl is scarcely more than a child. You are no Tywin Lannister, to slaughter innocents.” It was said that Rhaegar’s little girl had cried as they dragged her from beneath her bed to face the swords. The boy had been no more than a babe in arms, yet Lord Tywin’s soldiers had torn him from his mother’s breast and dashed his head against a wall.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
When Robert reveals continuing trauma over his defeat of Rhaegar, his vengeance unsatisfied, Ned is oddly silent.

In my dreams, I kill him every night,” Robert admitted. “A thousand deaths will still be less than he deserves.”
There was nothing Ned could say to that. After a quiet, he said, “We should return, Your Grace. Your wife will be waiting.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard I
Ned is disturbed by the notion that Robert would still hate Rhaegar.

Suddenly, uncomfortably, he found himself recalling Rhaegar Targaryen. Fifteen years dead, yet Robert hates him as much as ever. It was a disturbing notion …

- A Game of Thrones Eddard VIII
Ned’s feelings towards Rhaegar are neutral at worst, whereas he often acknowledges and excuses Robert’s faults, such as his uncontrollable rage and lust. If Ned believes Rhaegar is Jon’s father and that Lyanna willingly left with him, his charitable feelings towards Rhaegar might make sense. But then Ned should also realize Robert’s hatred of Targaryens is rational based on the official narrative involving kidnapping, rape, and murder committed by the dragons. If Ned instead suspects Robert is Jon’s father, it reconciles both his neutral feelings towards Rhaegar and incredulity over Robert’s hatred, as he knows Rhaegar’s only ‘crime’ was crowning Lyanna.
Ned is adept at suppressing bitter memories, so the absence of direct thoughts on Robert’s complicity in Lyanna’s abduction shouldn’t be construed as proof that it didn’t happen; Ned doesn’t think about Rhaegar’s complicity either. It’s noteworthy that we see Ned bury thoughts about the circumstances of Jon’s birth in the barrowlands, which are burial grounds:

“Would that we could,” Ned said, “but we have duties now, my liege … to the realm, to our children, I to my lady wife and you to your queen. We are not the boys we were.”
“You were never the boy you were,” Robert grumbled. “More’s the pity. And yet there was that one time … what was her name, that common girl of yours? Becca? No, she was one of mine, gods love her, black hair and these sweet big eyes, you could drown in them. Yours was … Aleena? No. You told me once. Was it Merryl? You know the one I mean, your bastard’s mother?”
“Her name was Wylla,” Ned replied with cool courtesy, “and I would sooner not speak of her.”
“Wylla. Yes.” The king grinned. “She must have been a rare wench if she could make Lord Eddard Stark forget his honor, even for an hour. You never told me what she looked like …”
Ned’s mouth tightened in anger. “Nor will I. Leave it be, Robert, for the love you say you bear me. I dishonored myself and I dishonored Catelyn, in the sight of gods and men.”
“Gods have mercy, you scarcely knew Catelyn.”
“I had taken her to wife. She was carrying my child.”
“You are too hard on yourself, Ned. You always were. Damn it, no woman wants Baelor the Blessed in her bed.” He slapped a hand on his knee. “Well, I’ll not press you if you feel so strong about it, though I swear, at times you’re so prickly you ought to take the hedgehog as your sigil.”
The rising sun sent fingers of light through the pale white mists of dawn. A wide plain spread out beneath them, bare and brown, its flatness here and there relieved by long, low hummocks. Ned pointed them out to his king. “The barrows of the First Men.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
No one objected to Doran locking Arianne in a tower, nor were people too concerned when Baelor locked his sisters in the Maidenvault. Westerosi men treat women as property, and so Ned could forgive Robert for imprisoning his sister, especially as they were betrothed.

A storm of rose petals blew across a blood-streaked sky, as blue as the eyes of death.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard X
Robert Baratheon is a blue-eyed, death-dealing Storm Lord; this passage shows that Ned is at least subconsciously aware of Robert’s culpability in Lyanna’s presence at the tower of joy. It's also widely misconstrued as depicting blue rose petals, when it's actually fairly clear that the sky is blue and the rose petals are red, streaking the sky like blood...
Robert’s genuine grief over Lyanna’s death may permit Ned to absolve Robert of blame; this grief is the reason Ned gives for their reconciliation, after the deaths of Elia's children drove a wedge between them. Interestingly, Robert’s own death scene parallels Lyanna’s death: a bed of blood, squeezing hands and a weak smile, protecting Robert’s bastards, promise me Ned…

Robert took his hand, fingers squeezing hard. “You are … such a bad liar, Ned Stark,” he said through his pain. “The realm … the realm knows … what a wretched king I’ve been. Bad as Aerys, the gods spare me.”
“No,” Ned told his dying friend, “not so bad as Aerys, Your Grace. Not near so bad as Aerys.”
Robert managed a weak red smile. “At the least, they will say … this last thing … this I did right. You won’t fail me. You’ll rule now. You’ll hate it, worse than I did … but you’ll do well. Are you done with the scribbling?”
“Yes, Your Grace.” Ned offered Robert the paper. The king scrawled his signature blindly, leaving a smear of blood across the letter. “The seal should be witnessed.”
“Serve the boar at my funeral feast,” Robert rasped. “Apple in its mouth, skin seared crisp. Eat the bastard. Don’t care if you choke on him. Promise me, Ned.”
“I promise.” Promise me, Ned, Lyanna’s voice echoed.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XIII
vs.

“She should be on a hill somewhere, under a fruit tree, with the sun and clouds above her and the rain to wash her clean.”
“I was with her when she died,” Ned reminded the king. “She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father.” He could hear her still at times. Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses. Promise me, Ned. The fever had taken her strength and her voice had been faint as a whisper, but when he gave her his word, the fear had gone out of his sister’s eyes. Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black. After that he remembered nothing. They had found him still holding her body, silent with grief. The little crannogman, Howland Reed, had taken her hand from his. Ned could recall none of it. “I bring her flowers when I can,” he said. “Lyanna was … fond of flowers.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard I
Once Ned realized that the rebels lied about Lyanna and Rhaegar's disappearance, outing the truth was unthinkable. Too many had already fought and died based on a malicious lie, and the truth would thrust the realm further into rebellion. Ned had a duty to protect what family remained to him, including both his newborn son Robb and Jon Snow, the son of his beloved sister. Yet notice how Ned stopped visiting Robert and never sent envoys to King’s Landing to leverage advantages for the North, despite his favor with the king. It’s as if Ned was avoiding Robert. So perhaps ‘promise me Ned’ was about keeping Jon’s parentage a secret, as Robert might stupidly try to legitimize his son by his beloved Lyanna, raising dangerous questions.

And when you have it, what then? Some secrets are safer kept hidden. Some secrets are too dangerous to share, even with those you love and trust. Ned slid the dagger that Catelyn had brought him out of the sheath on his belt. The Imp’s knife. Why would the dwarf want Bran dead? To silence him, surely. Another secret, or only a different strand of the same web?

- A Game of Thrones Eddard VIII
Ned cannot tell Catelyn the truth of Jon’s parentage because she’s a political climber and may support his legitimization for her own children’s sake. If Jon is the heir to the throne, Arya or Sansa could be married to him. Robb’s claim to Winterfell would not longer be under threat, and he could leverage diplomatic advantages as Jon’s ally. The Tully creed of "Family, Duty, Honor" has imbued Catelyn with fatal blindspots when it comes to advancing her children's interests.
Jon is hidden when Robert comes to visit, consistent with preventing the king from making a connection between Jon's birth and Lyanna's death.

“I glimpsed him once at Winterfell,” the queen said, “though the Starks did their best to hide him. He looks very like his father.”

- A Feast for Crows Cersei IV
Jon takes after his mother Lyanna, and he more closely resembles Robert than Rhaegar, with his dark brown hair and almost black eyes. Varys tells Tyrion he knows of eight bastards fathered by Robert, all black of hair; he says nothing of their eye color, and Varys is manipulative, so it would be unwise to take him at his word. If Maggy the Frog’s prophecy is correct, only about half of Robert’s children are accounted for; others may not resemble Robert so closely. Having a subset of children who resemble you does not guarantee they all will, and it’s not uncommon in real life for people to have a legitimate child who looks different from their siblings. Arya is an example of this, as all her full-blooded siblings take after Catelyn while she’s the only one who looks like Ned.
Ned’s research into couplings between Lannisters and Baratheons show black-haired offspring, and so he assumes the gold will always yield to the coal. There’s no evidence that he also assumes the cold will yield to the coal, that Baratheon seed is dominant over Stark genes. Ned misconstrues how genetics works, and we shouldn’t assume Martin doesn’t understand this. In the real world, it’s possible to have a history of a certain genetic outcome which is broken once enough new blood enters a lineage. In fact, fair-haired Laenor and Laena Velaryon, whose grandmother was Jocelyn Baratheon, demonstrate that Baratheon genetic traits can be diluted.

The seed is strong, Jon Arryn had cried on his deathbed, and so it was. All those bastards, all with hair as black as night. Grand Maester Malleon recorded the last mating between stag and lion, some ninety years ago, when Tya Lannister wed Gowen Baratheon, third son of the reigning lord. Their only issue, an unnamed boy described in Malleon’s tome as a large and lusty lad born with a full head of black hair, died in infancy. Thirty years before that a male Lannister had taken a Baratheon maid to wife. She had given him three daughters and a son, each black-haired. No matter how far back Ned searched in the brittle yellowed pages, always he found the gold yielding before the coal.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XII
Some think Ned hid Jon’s lineage because Robert would kill Jon if he suspected he was Targaryen, despite Ned’s surprise at Robert’s commitment to murdering Targaryen heirs and despite Ned insisting Robert wouldn’t harm his loved ones.

Ned shook his head, refusing to believe. “Robert would never harm me or any of mine. We were closer than brothers. He loves me. If I refuse him, he will roar and curse and bluster, and in a week we will laugh about it together. I know the man!”
“You knew the man,” she said. “The king is a stranger to you.” Catelyn remembered the direwolf dead in the snow, the broken antler lodged deep in her throat. She had to make him see. “Pride is everything to a king, my lord. Robert came all this way to see you, to bring you these great honors, you cannot throw them back in his face.”

- A Game of Thrones Catelyn II
Ned’s concern for Jon’s life didn’t prevent him from allowing Jon to take a dangerous vocation at the Wall. Sending Jon to the Wall makes even more sense if his potential claim to the throne would cause a political upheaval. This may be true whether he’s Robert or Rhaegar’s son, though it’s more important to keep this secret if he’s the son of Robert, as it has greater potential to damage Ned’s allies. The fact that Ned was willing to lie to Jon about what the Night’s Watch really is, sending him to a bleak, cold penal colony, is in line with Ned being an unwilling liar whose honor falls short when it threatens to undermine his king.

The thought of Jon filled Ned with a sense of shame, and a sorrow too deep for words. If only he could see the boy again, sit and talk with him … pain shot through his broken leg, beneath the filthy grey plaster of his cast. He winced, his fingers opening and closing helplessly. “Is this your own scheme,” he gasped out at Varys, “or are you in league with Littlefinger?”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XV
Ned recalls Lyanna’s misgivings about Robert’s nature and the promises he made to her after visiting Robert’s bastard by a girl so young he was afraid to ask her age (a girl who incidentally resembles Sansa in age and hair color).

“Robert will never keep to one bed,” Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm’s End. “I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale.” Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. “Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.”
The girl had been so young Ned had not dared to ask her age. No doubt she’d been a virgin; the better brothels could always find a virgin, if the purse was fat enough. She had light red hair and a powdering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, and when she slipped free a breast to give her nipple to the babe, he saw that her bosom was freckled as well. “I named her Barra,” she said as the child nursed. “She looks so like him, does she not, milord? She has his nose, and his hair …”
“She does.” Eddard Stark had touched the baby’s fine, dark hair. It flowed through his fingers like black silk. Robert’s firstborn had had the same fine hair, he seemed to recall.
“Tell him that when you see him, milord, as it … as it please you. Tell him how beautiful she is.”
“I will,” Ned had promised her. That was his curse. Robert would swear undying love and forget them before evenfall, but Ned Stark kept his vows. He thought of the promises he’d made Lyanna as she lay dying, and the price he’d paid to keep them.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard IX
The king buys and lies to virgin whores and he fathers bastards like it’s a competition, but Ned could excuse Robert fathering a bastard on his sister because they were betrothed, after all, and the gods fill men with lust.

She had smiled then, a smile so tremulous and sweet that it cut the heart out of him. Riding through the rainy night, Ned saw Jon Snow’s face in front of him, so like a younger version of his own. If the gods frowned so on bastards, he thought dully, why did they fill men with such lusts? “Lord Baelish, what do you know of Robert’s bastards?”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard IX
Ned thinks about Jon Snow in relation to Robert’s bastards and lusts, then contrasts Robert to Rhaegar who wasn’t the type to visit brothels. Ned thinks that he hadn’t thought of Rhaegar in years; if Jon was Rhaegar’s, wouldn’t Ned think about him more often? This also establishes Ned as not particularly self-aware, as he does in fact think about Rhaegar on page before this.

There was no answer Ned Stark could give to that but a frown. For the first time in years, he found himself remembering Rhaegar Targaryen. He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard IX
Ned’s friendship with Robert conditioned him to excuse male adultery, and so if R+L=J, he could excuse Rhaegar’s unfaithfulness to his wife. While Ned may hold himself to a higher standard in his own marriage, he can forgive a man for acting on his natural urges.
Ned does not extend his charitable take on adultery to Cersei, whose crime is not so different from what Lyanna is alleged to have done. Lyanna did not commit incest as Cersei did nor did she forsake her own marriage vows, yet if Ned believes Rhaegar is Jon’s father, he’s accepted that his sister broke her betrothal and disregarded the crown prince’s marriage vows, leaving two young children without their father, and bore a bastard. If Jon is a Targaryen, his lineage may legally permit him to commit incest, which Cersei would see as hypocritical.
Ned’s reaction to Cersei’s infidelity is partly informed by the importance of inheritance and legitimacy in their feudal society. Noble Westerosi women are conditioned to place their duty to their families ahead of their own lusts, a standard which is not imposed on men as seriously. It’s much easier to confirm a child’s mother than it is to establish paternity, which is why women are held to more strict sexual standards. Ned’s frigid sexual relations with Catelyn may even convince him that women are less driven by lust than men. Even so, Ned’s reaction to Cersei’s infidelity was primarily motivated by bias against House Lannister and loyalty to Robert. Consider that Ned hates Jaime, who killed a man who murdered Ned’s family, because vows involving loyalty to one’s king are very important to him.

His sword helped taint the throne you sit on, Ned thought, but he did not permit the words to pass his lips. “He swore a vow to protect his king’s life with his own. Then he opened that king’s throat with a sword.”
“Seven hells, someone had to kill Aerys!” Robert said, reining his mount to a sudden halt beside an ancient barrow. “If Jaime hadn’t done it, it would have been left for you or me.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
Ned is inflexible about his sense of honor when applied to the Lannisters, whom he views as child murderers and oathbreakers, yet Ned bends his ethics for his family and king. For instance, he hates Tywin for his role in the murders of Rhaegar’s children, yet remains loyal to Robert who also condones the murder of children.
Ned took Theon hostage to keep Balon in check, and would have executed him in service to his king. He essentially held a child mortally liable for his father’s actions, which is the same justification Ned uses for rising against Aerys. So would Ned have followed through with executing Theon, despite defying Robert over the assassination of Dany and her unborn child?

Even inside fur-lined gloves, Theon’s hands had begun to throb with pain. It was often his hands that hurt the worst, especially his missing fingers. Had there truly been a time when women yearned for his touch? I made myself the Prince of Winterfell, he thought, and from that came all of this. He had thought that men would sing of him for a hundred years and tell tales of his daring. But if anyone spoke of him now, it was as Theon Turncloak, and the tales they told were of his treachery. This was never my home. I was a hostage here. Lord Stark had not treated him cruelly, but the long steel shadow of his greatsword had always been between them. He was kind to me, but never warm. He knew that one day he might need to put me to death.

- A Dance with Dragons The Prince of Winterfell
Ned also lies for his family, making his indictment of the Lannisters somewhat hypocritical. He claims his wife abducted Tyrion on his orders, when he had in fact ordered her to go home and prepare the north for war. He does not hold Catelyn responsible for the deaths of his men, which Jaime ordered in retaliation for Tyrion’s abduction, no more than he held Robert and his own allies responsible for the indirect consequences of abducting Lyanna and lying about it, including her death and the deaths of his father, brother, and countrymen.

“Pycelle swears it will heal clean,” Robert frowned. “I take it you know what Catelyn has done?”
“I do.” Ned took a small swallow of wine. “My lady wife is blameless, Your Grace. All she did she did at my command.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard X
If Ned’s mind had not been clouded by the milk of the poppy, he may have had the foresight to understand the danger he placed his own family in by informing Cersei of the discovery of her children’s illegitimacy. He gave them a chance to flee out of concern for the lives of innocents, but sadly, Ned's sense of justice is unable to account for the indirect consequences of actions (except when applied retroactively to people he dislikes) and his mercy backfired. The meeting between Cersei and Ned in the godswood reveals that he would bend his ethics for his own children’s sake.

Ned thought, If it came to that, the life of some child I did not know, against Robb and Sansa and Arya and Bran and Rickon, what would I do? Even more so, what would Catelyn do, if it were Jon’s life, against the children of her body? He did not know. He prayed he never would.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XII
Ned is thus the type of man who would willingly dishonor himself, lying or even allowing innocents to be killed, for the sake of protecting his own. Even Ned’s final act was a lie, choosing to dishonor himself to protect Sansa.

Her father raised his voice still higher, straining to be heard. “I betrayed the faith of my king and the trust of my friend, Robert,” he shouted. “I swore to defend and protect his children, yet before his blood was cold, I plotted to depose and murder his son and seize the throne for myself. Let the High Septon and Baelor the Beloved and the Seven bear witness to the truth of what I say: Joffrey Baratheon is the one true heir to the Iron Throne, and by the grace of all the gods, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.”

- A Game of Thrones Arya V
Lord Eddard Stark embodies a simple truth, that the road to hell is paved with the best intentions. He is as grey as the direwolf on his sigil, a man who chose lesser evils out of a genuine desire to do good, who nonetheless perpetuated injustice. Let Ned serve as a lesson to readers, the lesson he should have taken from the dead direwolf in the snow: the man who passes the sentence might swing the sword, but apply due diligence first, and reserve harsh judgement unless guilt is certain. This lesson should be balanced against the understanding that failure to act can be just as harmful as decisive action, as was the case when the quiet wolf allowed the expensive Hand's Tourney to go forth despite the crown's massive debts. Ultimately, even the best among us will be tested with impossible moral dilemmas, and so it's important to have the capacity to show ourselves and others flexibility and forgiveness.

The damning conclusion? That the United States government had escalated the war all the while knowing that it was on the losing side of the equation. The report also confirmed that JFK’s administration had helped to overthrow and assassinate Ngo Dinh Diem, the leader of the South Vietnamese government, which America supported. If our own government had no faith in our allies and our capabilities, then why the hell, readers of the Times and the Post wondered, were we still sending our men to be killed in Vietnam?
Support for the war at home was eroding daily; the protests were increasing, with voices calling, louder and louder, for an end to the conflict. Rebellion was brewing even from within the “silent majority.” Most of the POW/MIA wives had been in this camp for years. They had been trained to be strong government and military supporters, but they were now completely disgusted with Washington politics. Their suspicions about the war and those leading it were confirmed. McNamara was now right up there with Cora Weiss as a target of their ire. They knew to be wary of antiwar figures, but McNamara? Wasn’t he supposed to be on their side?
The Nixon administration was not implicated in the Pentagon Papers, though the president was incensed to see classified government reports leaked to the public. Instead of seeing the papers as a potential help, separating his administration’s policy on Vietnam from those of JFK and LBJ, “the leak of the Pentagon Papers brought forth a profound paranoia in Richard Nixon… The ultimate manifestation of this drive was the White House Special Investigations Unit, informally referred to as the Plumbers, whose first assignment was to raid the offices of Ellsberg’s psychiatrist. Later, members of the group would carry out one final mission, the Watergate break-in, which ultimately cost Nixon the very thing he had sought to defend: his presidency.”

- The League of Wives: The Untold Story of the Women Who Took On the U.S. Government to Bring Their Husbands Home Heath Hardage Lee
Look here to see this series in its full audio/visual glory with greater detail.

This transcript is from the livestream called "OMG Let's Beeze" instead of a Highlight.
skin looks bad where's my filters and there we go hi babe you're first hello
hi Lulu you're so early - yeah I know it's just all us now...the beezers, the beezers are first babe is first king Beezer. Gemini gem, what's new and exciting ? guess who's back...Lynn the pig and Grandma's back, back again...warmly...I know I'm terrible sorry you know just have a lot going on...Marissa 24 months you are the loyalist of beezers, I swear! radiation, you deserve every arm shake of that, I call them girl...hi shoot kickers and rats Ava hi, hi beezers
oh my God it's hot in this room.. why, why is it hot in this room? oh yeah so don't fear don't fret
um I'm in the spare room with the door shut there's no pets in here and I don't know if it's because it's vapor but uh this dissipates like instantly. it's not like lingering. tobacco smoke like two minutes later, you would not be able to smell anything in this house of... any kind of tobacco at all. you'll bring the fan really I would, so. appreciate that, honestly
Golden Girl, one year ~oh my gosh~ you deserve that too loyal Beezer ~~ Ready, Set! when did you guys all start watching me? I need to know... I'm curious what caught you onto my channel hi Carolina [Music]
these are... do I look like a virtuous woman? don't answer that... I will follow him, follow him, wherever he may go... I don't want to have that in my head all of a sudden [laughs] and on my hijab... style is kind of weird today. it looks like I have like a floppy chin. you know? like, three years ago no way...I can't believe I've been on YouTube for how long now
sanela, hi...
how long has it been? foodie Beauty days. Beauty foodie days... a couple of you now you get to see me in my marriage Arc. I'm very, very thankful for that. when I look back on some parts of my life, I'm, like, still, like, sometimes... I still wake up and I'm, like, I can't believe I'm here in the Middle East married to a wonderful man, you know? it's crazy. it's, like, surreal almost. I don't know
yeah, it is warm in this room. I don't know why... they're just, like, well... it's well ventilated but I don't know... maybe just because I'm so used to having the fan on me all times. you love the henna ink? thank you ~ yeah it's um very dark... I chose the black. they're like, do you want black or do you want red? so I'm like a half black but um... it's very nice you know?
my lovely angel, hey baby, oh you have to show them your beard cut! you had a beard trim... if I searched Amber... thank you so much for bringing that to me because.... oh wait.. the.. she said... yeah, it should be okay right? yeah, yeah the reality
[foreign]
the content room.... the content room needs to be a few... a few uh degrees lower, okay? nice... yeah, thanks... that's perfect. thanks for making me comfortable, my sweet love... you're welcome honey
sir, on YouTube during the Amber and Johnny Trail... Amberly came up? no way hi visas ~ oh my God ~ doesn't he look like 20 years younger? surprise...we could really see her mouth no more beard hair. you're still my handsomest man...handsomest man.... handsomest man
you guys...you guys are used to him with his beard now, huh, but whenever we met each other, this is, like, the look he had this one called the Summer Style. yeah it's too hot...yeah it's too hot for all the facial hair right? does it make a difference? yes, yes
he's too handsome - careful Chantel he's not going anywhere right? yeah
thank you guys oh I missed a bunch of comments okay
baby I'll keep using with them...yeah thank you, babe/ okay guys see you in the chat yeah and uh, they'll come live with me one of these days soon and do his own streams
hey I forgot the lights look better in the dark...is there two lights in here or one? [Music] turn one off...Okay, thanks. not all of them yeah...
hello Beezus foreign [Laughter]
[Laughter] thanks baby
[Music]
creepy spooky looks good with your hair, looks dark and handsome
[Laughter]
oh yeah...if you got a new mask [Laughter] it's spooky. that's cool.. it looks cool. I like it thank you honey [Laughter] happy Halloween everybody! eyesight shot yes my favorite movie actually. besides The Shining. which are both Kubrick movies... by the way, okay, which lighting makes me look nicer? the other one? I think this one wait check try the other one again.
I love you, honey pinch
whoa~ this one.. yeah, this one. the other one reminds me of a bait my basement. when I was a kid we had this...okay let me catch up here ...I travel mayonnaise [Laughter]....okay see you later alligator! someone... someone has to sound bite that [laugh] I've got that one there sorry, guys. I'm gonna be gonna contain my chin... and also... okay let me catch up here... I swear.
okay, um ,thanks Golden Girl...yeah, this is the henna but it goes like to here. I usually don't show you guys my wrists but you can see for the the purpose of the henna. so I washed my hands a bunch of times and it's still... I did the dishes. it's still on strong so I'm happy about that. are you going to address? uh, did you tip the artist? what what a weird question, duh... Whitney, actually tips are not very common here, but yeah I did. um, what are you looking for honey?
my phone? I think you see it you left your phone here no in the bedroom maybe yeah. um are you going to address all the fires in your home country?the fire...? there's fires in Canada right now? oh really?! yeah, in Quebec... Quebec area. I think eh.. um.. yeah, in specific, uh, area or what? yeah, I have to look it up. I'm not really sure. like, I know in Quebec region but was like five years ago.. it's fine, I think, yeah, I don't know ...like how severe it is... but there's, like, it's causing a lot of smog like in the US as well.. it's like going everywhere is all that I know.
[Note: some regions of Canada and the US had highest impurity rates globally from the particles in the air making the air dangerous for some people]
Michelle, they will be safe, yeah. thanks for the super chat. um, are they gonna start blaming me for the wildfires? yeah, I don't know. I mean, want to hold a vigil or what you like? the trim? it's a lot of the hair. yeah, the beard trim, yeah. thank you, uh Ali L, welcome to put your feet already [ __ ]. please, um, what in the kinky's going on okay?
we're in a room... welcome to budget piece and we're just like beeze, oh, I'm really behind... basic basic, it was smoky in Toronto. the air is bad really? well, I heard that it's bad.. like the small the the smoke or whatever...we got Eyes Wide Shut... that reminds me Andre Marie that was, like, one of my favoritest movies. favoritest movies ever! I love it. this is a weird hijab style... it was just like I had to get ready fast. so, I'm in the spare room right now. hi Ali L, welcome, welcome!
I know I haven't been going live really but ~oh my gosh~ we have so much going on in our lives and the new the pets are keeping me really busy. I have, like, a whole routine like I don't know how people do it with kids... like, I think I would die. like, I don't know if it's just like mentally I'm just not able to cope, with, like, too many responsibilities. because like taking care of home and then taking care of, like.... has been taking care... he takes care of me too... but you know what I mean? and then, like, Howie I have to spend time with Howie in a room by himself. he's he's in a room by himself now and the cat's in a room right now with her, like, food and water because we don't smoke with the pets.
like, you know at all... so um, so, then I have to like get up and like spend some time with howie... give him his vegetables, let him run around kiss him a thousand times and then Julia wakes up. Julia, yeah... welcome back guys! sorry I'm poor, that's okay... it's going to Wisconsin?
Julia cats are good at sneaking. I swear! I swear, she's snuck in the room when I was like coming in to see Howie. I didn't even know she was right behind me so she came in and she kind of just like just stared at him. but I think she...I don't know... she did one thing kind of weird like once, but it never happened again, so I'm okay with it, you know? I'm like, I hope it doesn't become a problem. she doesn't ...I don't think she likes the door being closed and me coming in here and paying attention to him. so one time that she was outside and I wasn't here she like pooped right up front of the door. I think it was like to say, like, "hey this is my territory this is my home, you little rodent" kind of thing but then ever since then she hasn't done it. like, she only did it once, I think, to like, assert her territory and then she just never did it again. she just, like, you know, poops in her box fine and she pees in her box fine and yeah... so far so good, mashallah. like. knock on wood but she's very very loving. she's like. I should have named her shadow she will not...if she's awake she will not...she, like, will not leave your side. like, she's the most loving cat. and if you, just like, you can... she's like a rag doll. like, you can just grab her and and hold her and just, like, and just like, she's just like... floppy and just loves attention and she's constantly....constant, constantly purring but she's also kind of naughty.
like, she's....when she gets the Zoomies, she freaks out and runs around everywhere, jumps all over the place and, like, she plays with things she shouldn't be playing with, you know? so it's like at that age she's, like a kitten right? so we have to like, um, you know, we have to, like, hold on. there we go... we have to feel uncentered. we have to, like, teach her you know? but she's... I say, you know, a lot, but she's like, she's so loving you know?
Hi Megan! so you think you can cats too well? yeah... my solid. what? well, my cheese salad? yeah hi pnv! yes, I hope you're having a good day at work. hi turbo toots! yo guys, yo Salah baby, baby... so yeah she's baby. how are you? do you love Julia? so she's adopting very well. my female cat gets mad at my own Grandma cat and she'll pee in the litter box extra messy. like, I won't even squat...makes a mess, yeah.... cats have strange Behavior sometimes you know? but yeah, I don't know. like, she's she's very hyper sometimes because she's just a kitten right? so I have to make sure to play with her a lot with her feather toy and, like, I have to like daily scoop out toys under the couch because she always gets them lost in there.
[Note: it seems Salah is teaching her basic cat care like a child]
sometimes if I open a bottle of water, like the cap, I'll just throw it. like, hey here's another toy that's not under the couch right now because and she just loves it!
foreign first class falcon getting a hair transplant... where in Turkey? you've always wanted to try that henna? thank you... yeah. it's really cool. I'm glad I tried it out. maybe next time I get it, um, I'll just get the uh,... it's like having a tattoo. like, it's a really cool... like, it looks like a really cool tribal tattoo or something I don't know? when I was watching her do it and it didn't take long at all. she's just, like, you know....
the Kitty's in another room while I'm smoking. and howie do have.... we the other day... I thought he was stuck in his tunnel but he was like, just listening or something... I don't know... because he put a bunch of his corn kernels in the tunnel overnight and he was just sitting in the tunnel, like, this like, like, stiff, like, a mannequin. so I started freaking out. I was like Howie! Howie! so I took all the tunnel apart and I'm holding it like this and he's in it and I'm like trying to go like this and he finally woke up and went... I hear horror stories you people scare me or like he could get stuck in a tunneling so here I am thinking oh my God he's stuck in the tunnel but no he can still, he still has so much room! he can turn around but ~uh oh my gosh~. anyway, I freaked out. that's like, the most exciting thing going on right now. actually Julie is the sweetest Beezer.
she's sleeping.... yeah, [reading comments in live chat] "my daughter has four cats and they were so picky that they each needed their own litter box". yeah... like, when I had the other cats like. we had that big litter box upstairs and then we had another one downstairs and because I was thinking like bbj's old, like, what if she can't make it? like, she had accidents a lot. because, you know, like, mostly starting when she got older. other than that, she was like a good cat her whole life, you know? and Sam no problems. but they ended up just using one litter box, so you know...
my fiance as a kid that honestly don't like... he doesn't even cover his poop. honestl?y Julia doesn't really either. she just goes and leaves it but so I go and I, like, cover it and then I scoop it. it avoids mess on the scooper. but she she gets the worst Zoomies after she goes to the bathroom. I always know when she goes and it's like, "okay, time to go get the scoop the Box" because she, um, I guess I'm keeping everything ultra clean now. and especially, like, you know, we have a smaller... it's smaller than my old place. so it's like you know if you don't ...the smell will just permeate as well. so yeah... she like runs around freaks out
I hear her go like she's so I'm going to the bathroom. people don't put leashes on their dogs. I want to go out. you had a Nashi zombies? yeah? wait... now she's are available right now in Canada, I'm missing out! no, the only matches I find here are coleslaw in them. like, Burger King is the only nashie. like, the Zoomies, I had to explain like salah never had a pet before, right? so this is all new to him so I had to explain what this is... Zoomies were... so I'm looking up Tick Tock videos of Zoomies. Like, he's like, is something wrong with her? I'm like, no, this is normal. check it out and, like, some cats get like the really bad zoomies, you know? it just happened in Florida? young and mischievous, yeah young and full of energy so...
I find smoking shisha makes you um thirsty. yeah, I'm going live a little earlier today because it's like 10 30 here and we're kind of tired. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a little sleepy. so I don't know how long I'll be on but I wanted to say "hey" because I missed you guys. like, if I don't feel like if I don't go live for a little while, I feel weird. like, oh my God! I missed you guys! you know?
[Note: Chantal has pretended her chats and followers are her second family when she makes them dispensable and has a high turnover. It's a false audience relationship in this regard.]
I can't believe they have the the Nashi in Florida! what the hell?! that's so weird.... it's quarter after 11 here already. that's crazy! as you can see I haven't been able to quit shisha and I don't think I did I didn't do uh\, I didn't do a good mukbang today. so, I'm not gonna put it out. it was kind of boring. I don't know.... maybe I will.... maybe I won't... we'll see.
sorry for always adjusting this....these chiffon ones I could never... I love how they look the most but I could never fix them properly. they never stay in place.. even if I like put them here under my chin see? can you get lavender to smoke, relax you? [reading comments] I don't know can you get lavender shisha... but I think it's only fruit flavors... but I'm not really sure. the water looks good. yeah, these are the water towers in Kuwait. yeah, I just drink a lot of water. like, this is the water bottle water we drink. we buy, like, our whole wall is like full of like water bottles. even if we have a filter, it's like the water in Kuwait in the summer, like, I wanted to have a coldish shower right? I put the water on the coldest setting it was hot. Like I couldn't even shower it was that hot. it was like, so hot I had to wait till evening time to have a shower because the water cools down in the evening. but in the daytime if you want to shower be prepared for the hottest water! it's so hot it was like it felt like 45 degrees today. so... but the AC and the new car is really nice.
Michelle.. and um, we, had like a slush today but I'm not sure about the lavender. Golden Girl, good question... um what did I have for dinner? actually I ate KFC because I was craving it and they have this new flavor of like chicken it's like Flamin Hot Lays and they have chicken tenders...and I had these twisters... and you know I tried to mukbang but I was just, like, in one of those moods where I'm like, what does it look like I'm wearing? shoulder pads? what the heck does it look like I'm wearing shoulder pad?....um, just like a really tired,hot.... not in a really talkative mood. kind of, like, I am now... so I'm like, I should probably do a live stream, you know? I don't know ....I, I really, just yeah.... I wasn't really in the mood. so I was just, like eating kind of quietly and I think most people um.... what was I gonna say? like, like, conversation with my videos, you know what I mean?
what month does it start getting the hottest? um, I don't know.... babe, what like month, like April... no the hottest actually probably like June? July? like it's gonna be like now but it's gonna get like I think even hotter.
[Note: Useless fact: The longest day of sunlight is on or around 20 June. It takes the earth 30 days to absorb and emit the heat so hottest days in many regions in the northern hemishperes is on or around 20 July]
so why he jumped his face like as big as FFG?!! LMAO! not even close! [Laughter] sorry... but it's true... this is, like, this is material all bunched up by the way but yeah I have a double chin.
July, August, September... um September too? oh great so we have... so here it's like reversed in Canada. the longest season is winter and here is summer [Note: Wait until Chantal learns about the equator]
thanks Golden Girl! thank you! remember this lip gloss... it's the...you guys remember when I went to buy this the Estee Lauder one? um will be 50 to 60. does it hit 60 like every summer? oh my God! I can't imagine... like, I have to go outside even for just a minute to experience what 60 degree weather is like... and we have to do like a test... like, I want to do that fried egg test. we have to put an egg on the pavement and see if it fries... but you know I can go peek my head out come right back in the building because the building is well air conditioned...like even downstairs in the lobby.
I don't know where people get this idea that we don't we don't have AC. it's not like...it's not a third world country um...there's AC everywhere and actually there's, like, um, I don't know like people put charity water tanks all over the town, like, different parts of each City. so, so, like, you can have clean drinking water and then there's like tunnels with like AC so people can have a break and walk through the tunnels instead of being outside. so there's, like, a lot of Refuge... is it respite Refuge? I don't know what word I'm looking for.... there's a lot of.... like, you get a break from the Sun.... if you even just going into malls, like, all the malls are very well air conditioned. um, so I would not be able to, yeah that's hot... I would not be able to survive here without AC. even Salah you will test it and we'll be grilled.
I remember one morning where one morning we woke up and he opens the curtain... actually, we do this every morning, like mashallah, I have to say it...we, we open the windows and we see the the beautiful ocean view.. and I'm like, one time I was like okay.. let's go out and he was like if you go out at this time you will be Chicken on coal! so, we have to wait until a certain time like after 4 or 4 30. I'll melt like cheese.
I wonder if I put cheese out if it will melt... hi Anastasia! sunblock will be useful...yeah, I need to get some, babe, true. creepy comfort and crime, [reading live chat] oh I just seen you... I just saw you ready...welcome, welcome to the very important users! thanks for becoming a Beezer!
yeah and I don't think that I'll be experiencing a winter, you know? not an all gun wood for like the next long while so I don't know when I'll go back to Canada for a visit.... but if I do go back, I'll be like a tourist right? because I don't have a place there anymore so, well it'll be weird be like a a Canada tourist.
[Note: Chantal doesn't understand her own citizenship status with Canada because she doesn't have a physical mailing address or residence. However, she is still a Canadian citizen].
cheese melted 'michelted'... you want to watch a horror movie, babe? I don't know... I might fall asleep but that's okay... what's a good horror movie from like the 2000s that we have? I don't know...
we tried finding "the ring" [horror movie] but we couldn't. why don't we last watch? oh, escape room one and two? those are good movies there's Escape rooms here but they're expensive I tried it several times to fry an egg here in Kuwait and it was successful. really?! no way?! you just leave the egg thereafter and like animals will eat? [reading live chat comments] a day when I lived in Vegas when I was in high school, I fried an egg in the street... no way! it gets hot like that? and it's just, like, are there some states where it gets super hot like Texas... say in Vegas.... I guess Death Valley is one of the hottest place... is quite hotter than Death Valley.. I'm happy to not see you in winter in Canada again.
yeah ...that's true... you leave a for the winter that's smart... that's what, yeah, my, I have family members who do that. Anna, hi dream! Insidious is good.. he watched... I don't think he liked Insidious. I don't know why... he likes more gross movies we watched a really gross zombie movie called "yummy"... oh my God... but it was pretty good movie, I guess. but just like one of those movies I'd only watch Once... don't ask me about security emoji. I can't believe the last horror movie watch was The Exorcist and it's like in the 70s that's so long ago...
[reading live chat again] it gets really hot in Vegas... really? like over a hundred? The Descent, oh, is that about a monster? I'm Chucky hi I'm Chucky you want to play no Chucky I want to burn you in fire and lava seriously I would drive and throw him in a volcano and then you go home and he's on your bed I'll burp I'm waiting to murder you God The Descent I think I watched it a long time ago you know what's really creepy? okay, the catacombs, like stories about the catacombs freak me out... like, all those tunnels under Paris? imagine getting lost in there! you'd be dead...you slept with your parents? I used to get scared and sleep with my mom too... she was like come on now there's nothing! you know, your parents get annoyed? no wonder... they probably want to break from us. I don't blame them. it's about the group of girls in a cave... ah but there's like a monster right? I think should I tell the Tank Engine ~oh my God~ that is my favorite picture! can you send it to me by emails? like, and [laugh] oh my God ~ actually the Crypt ~oh babe look at the picture [Music]
oh my God! that made my day! my potato face, choo choo, that, you know, what Thomas the Tank Engine used to be my one of my favorite shows as a kid... and Babar, potatoes ~ oh my God you're living like 15! oh I live in central California and it can get to 112. you that's hot! we will watch Descent movie... okay that I think that's I saw, that movie oh
Cassie oh my God! I need to quit smoking... I can't even [laugh] no oh my God that's so funny! all righ,t that's a perfect picture. I love that! I don't know if that was meant to be hate, but it made me laugh. so like my magnet, I found one of my abayas that's been missing. it was in the suitcase. we haven't unboxed yet. I keep forgetting ...do you unpack this one suitcase finally? did it you know... the hardest part of um putting together your home is organizing. I like finding, like, nice containers and all this stuff. I got um these nice little baskets, little baskets to put under the TV so we can put all our stuff in there you know? like watches and stuff like tha...t Chargers and especially we have to cat proof the home so, like, every, lik,e even this.
I'm not gonna put it take it off and I'm not gonna put it somewhere because the cat will lose it... remember I used to have that problem with the bees or Cuts I had with um with Sam and BBJ with my earrings? I would always only have one... yeah hi Cassie! did you uh forget your biscuit again? yeah ,thank God my family's okay now... but uh you know I'm kind of worried... like, I don't know the fires are getting bad eh?
pretty sure what New York looked like yesterday from the smoke... no, I have to look at all this up. I guess I've just been really self-absorbed. I haven't really been paying attention, but yeah are there wildfires like every year in California or like, the Wildfire is just like, remember how bad they were in Australia a couple years ago... a few years ago? I had a lot of beezers and viewers then in Australia. I was worried... about there's a lot of school and outside activities canceled? oh wow! that's bad! I'm sure the kids love that! hi blacks,hey long time no see! I missed you guy,s you know ?I used to pray for some kind of natural disaster when I was in school years... anything to get out of going, you know, like, are you sure the buses are not canceled today? you're still going I'm getting great, like, one before my mom had a car I'm getting Grandpa to drive you ...no I don't want to go to school [Laughter]
I used to pray for any illness... I know it's bad, but any cold any flu you... now I even remember like being in class with some kid who would be sneezing and you could tell they're getting sick and I'd be, like, you know, they'd be, like, okay, pick a partner for your for your uh project? okay, I want to go with the sick kid so I can catch his flu so I don't I can miss school. uh anything I hated, I hated going... I hated getting up in the morning since I was born. I was even late coming out of the womb, like, my mom had to have a C-section. I didn't want to come out... I was late... I was supposed to come out... mine was I supposed to be born I think the 26th... Kelly's pretty bad but it's been cool, like a cucumber...really how much snow? oh, it has to be like 30 centimeters or more for them to cancel school well it has to be a lot.
[Music] oh the flyers in Nova Scotia
[Laughter] the other options of school was wishing for a disaster... yeah, I was like please give me the flu! everyone's getting the flu but me, I swear it must have been the Papaya juice my mom used to give me in my lunches. I hated Papaya juice. I don't think I ever told her and just suffered in silence... a lot of vitamin C... give me the Capri Sun! it's very smoky where I am in Northern Ontario jeez lemon mint, cough, hey where were you I've already been... I've already been.
coughing what the [ __ ] I swear... I ate it going to school like, honestly, whenever, like, my mom would check and I had a fever, I was like "yes" because like when you're young, you think you're Immortal... you don't care if you have a cold, you know what I mean? you don't care if you have a fever... you're like, whatever, I can survive this now. well now I worry a bit... you know? I was born at uh yeah warmly I have a dark sense of humor .I was born at 4 30 in the morning. I blame that! I'm being a night owl, yeah... I was born just after midnight explains a lot. Julia's so cute! how is she? I know everyone is going through it but I'm going through it. you only... oh we're always setting you positive energy blocks... hope you're okay, what's up? you can share with us
um Julia is amazing she's just a Beezer she's a bit of a Beezer and uh but she's so cute and she's so cuddly. like, he's probably the the cuddly she's even more cuddly than BBJ if that's possible. early morning babies are babies born between 4 AM and 8 AM grow up to be persistent. they are generally intelligent and always prepared for different situations. they might face... wow do you know what time you were born babe? that I'm not in that category at all... so I was born what who has a dark web passport what the heck I'm so out of the loop
oh what did Golden say? oh Southern Ontario it is really widespread? yeah, that's what I heard but I didn't know how bad... oh my gosh! it's your husband's birthday? happy birthday zero support! that can be tough.. we're here for you... honestly, like, I like ,to beeze and like why not? we're all humans we all go through hard things. even though we're on the internet doesn't mean that we can't share and you know, be here for each other. you don't even have to explain what's going on all you need to say is you have you're having a hard time you know? to be born during business hours you're, like, I'm not being born during business hour,s mom you got to make those bucks! oh okay, since you've had a date, uh are you like the type that doesn't, you know ,what? getting a babysitter is not that easy... I know, I remember my mom trying to get a babysitter sometimes for me. it was hardened the babysitters I was left with. sometimes remember I told you my story times about one babysitter Beth. ew. yeah
I had some bad babysitters I always tattled on them and never had to see them again. though, so that was good, but yeah it's not as easy you know, it's not as easy as that what people are displaced oh my God. well Canada is really big... there's a lot of places to go but not if the fire's spreading that far. that's crazy !I really hope that everything people stay safe and everything goes well "we have two kids and one special needs so hard I just need a flip a couple of hours sometimes I just don't get that I love my girls but I hope no one takes that out" [reading live chat again]. yeah hey that's totally understandable.. it's very overwhelming... you know, you do your best but he got burnt out. like, caregiver burnout is a real thing... and actually when I worked in healthcare, we used to have a lot of people who would go into homes just to help with respite for people who were burnt out, you know? so at least you recognize that maybe there's some kind of like organization like that you know......Tracy, 18 months? oh my gosh! hi Tracy! I'm glad to see all you beezers here these stats are not accurate but we have to say it yeah, yeah, babe...you set her hair on fire oh my gosh that's Criminal! did you go on a group home after that?
I'm so protective too so that doesn't help uh you just don't let anyone go in yeah I understand. that, you know, you're leaving like loved ones in the care of strangers so it's hard.
hello Tracy! oh that's sweet babe! Maya lobby with your side and bless you sweets. parenting is hard yeah, like you know, I couldn't even imagine! I'm having a you know, like, being a pet mom is challenging. sometimes, honestl,y I couldn't imagine because some universities provide daycare at affordable rates.. that's true... my University had a daycare... excuse me, um I'm glad I never had to visit you know? something about daycare is creep me out... I remember being in daycare, like, I remember the smell of like old microwave dinners the cots... the cots that we had to take naps on. I had to go to a daycare after school and they made us have a nap every, every, every class. I went to as a young kid. there's always a kid who pukes. I don't know why, but there's always a pukey kid. sometimes I was a puke kid on the bus and then they always made us play with this like water and cornstarch mixture daycare. oh I'm glad I'm an adult as much, as... as much as life could be crap when you're an adult I don't miss being a child.
hi Katie Katie! she lost a few strands thank you guys, to see each event! hey, you're in the right place the hen is not itchy like thank goodness. you know, because I did look it up and apparently people have more issues with the block. which I didn't know... but they made me sign a waiver and I was wondering why. but now I know allergies... but oh thank goodness. yeah "I love being a mom but it can sure be hard not having any yeah not having any support" is definitely tough for sure, thanks Fox! yeah permanent is harder for sure... you'll have to replay later yeah I've been on for about 47 minutes.
what's Loch key, hey Chloe ,Tabor! am I saying that right? welcome, welcome! We're Gonna Save beeze hello! oh yeah Ali's a new Beezer. I missed the economy when I was a child. now I'm working everything... ye,s you're right. the economy was and it seemed people back then like in the 80s you know, um, from the I was born in the 80s... so old oh my gosh, everything was different, you're right. like, people had, like, you know? were able to sustain a life with jobs. you know, like, I don't know the quality of things just seemed better. I don't know how to explain it... like, even I don't know... maybe I'm not remembering that right. whenever you're a kid everything is just like the world is like mysterious. now when you start learning everything about it... it's like, you know,... well before I became like, religious, there was a huge period of time where everything just felt hopeless and meaningless... and I was like atheist for a point and I was like what the heck is the point of this, you know?
it's so mundane and tedious and you know... and now it's not like that wine and grapes come.. company yeah bringing up children because you're always having to dedicate all of your time to them. like, you're responsible for the bringing up of a whole human! like, that just terrifies me... like, even having a cat... hi witchy! hi beaters! sommelier! that's what it's called... nice that's interesting but if you can, you're strong you seem very strong .blacks so, if anyone can do it, it's you. I don't believe God gives us anything more than we can handle and honestly? even though it tests our limits, like, I don't know if people just think everything is just going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. like, life is how can we be tested as people, if we don't go through hard things, you know, so it's just I see things in a very different perspective than I did even just last year, you know? and just getting rid of that hopeless feelings um helps me deal with depression in a lot of ways... there's a lot of ways I try to deal with my depression. um instead of ignoring it, uh, there's still a lot of things and tools I could use... but I find that my faith medication and just proper self-learning techniques of how to deal with anxieties and things, you know ,more emotional intelligence... that I'm really trying those things have been really, really, really hard to learn.
oh my gosh! yeah, I heard they're insane on me. that's what we've been saying! just bought Resident Evil 4, Jack ...nice have you been playing? have you started playing? I didn't know you were a gamer... no, I don't go to therapy here. therapy is ridiculously expensive here ridiculous like I think well from what a research I did it's like very very expensive like very but not just that um it's I guess I just cope with like learning like watching a lot of videos... reading a lot about emotional intelligence, coping techniques. like, this social media can be very useful for educational things. like, that um also I you know pray a lot and turn to my faith read the Quran and just, I don't know ...I feel like I've matured a little bit in that way, you know? an online therapist? that's like, yeah, I keep forgetting about that... move a TV? oh my gosh it must be strong! I think one therapist I checked was like 500 K.D that's like two thousand dollars, unless I got that wrong. maybe it was 500... I don't know... definitely give that to the when I when it piles on. just gets a lot it... does health issues it just piles on? yeah it seems insufferable. so like, uh, insurmountable sometimes content over meditation how you cope with negativity that's a good idea, thanks, Jack. thanks guys for noticing... he used to be a gamer what's your favorite all time? I don't know if I'm... in a minute... I'm gonna check it out again, actually and see. because I was a while ago. I checked... I don't even know if I have it right. but I remember being expensive a lot more than Canada.
Korean Pizza what's on that? I have an online there like uh Korean Fried Chicken. I have an online therapist and it's been good not sure how much it would be in Kuwait. though yeah I'd have to check the Korean. I've heard of sushi Pizza, that sounds gross to me. has anyone have sushi Pizza? reading the Bible, yeah whatever.... reading whatever religious text that you follow can be very calming, yeah... even just like when you're praying... it's like calming. Resident Evil 2 right here... another Resident Evil fan! Salah your favorite is Resident Evil 4 right? because you love Ashley so much. Sushi burritos, whoa, "you can't take care of others with an empty cup" that's true, yeah... that's why they say you have to take care of yourself first, but I mean how realistic is that? it's so hard to do ,you know, to find time for yourself when it's just constantly like, you know....
I can't even compare but even with a kitten like I forget how much work they are because I was so used to having adult cats, you know? for a long time but I remember, even BBJ was a Beezer. Sam was a Beezer, you know ,and you have to cat proof your house. you have to keep an eye on them when they're awake, and sometimes when she's sleeping, I'm like oh finally! you know? like, she's not busying because like I have to like get up so many times to like make sure she doesn't get to the through. Like I have to hide every wire.. every everything, everything in the house. but she's worth it... actually gross, okay Golden Girl, no problem. short rib pizza? oh my gosh! that sounds so good! yum! yeah happy birthday to him... I'm so proud of you having a higher power and seeing purpose. do you drink ever at all or no drinking? a Mormon? oh really Chloe oh you were Mormon? um no I don't drink anymore... um any kind of um mind-altering substance you know is is like forbidden it in Islam. but um CBD is... is okay though because it's not like mind-altering. but drinking is definitely... drinking is like illegal here. you won't find... you won't find out any legal alcohol here. I don't know about illegal... I don't know anything about that... but you won't find any legal alcohol here. you know,
oh my God ,what did you do all day? well it depends on the day lemon mint. I mean, like, a regular domestic day? is that what you mean? because it just depends you know, like, I... I'm planning on doing some day in the life of videos. Maybe. you know but you know, it just depends. depends on the day. um regular domestic stuff most days you know taking care of the pet the pets keep me busy um you know cleaning just stuff. like, that doing videos talking to family. we go out sometimes, go run errands. go get coffee. go get dinner. whatever. go to the movies ,stuff like that. how's the beezing kitties? she's so mischievous I do give her already some kind of chicken Pate she loves it... hi baby...alcohols... yeah, I believe that too. more dangerous than media need a Beezer membership buddy. yeah, I really haven't can't believe I haven't come up with merch yet.
hey babe, hi baby... what's up for you, baby? oh did she give me a creepy chocolate. hi, I miss you... you're so handsome. I love math thank you, honey. I think it looks cool. what kind of mask is this guys? is this the Anarchy mask? I like your hair guys.. don't tell her it's Secret [Laughter] it's that V for Vendetta mask isn't it? you ever see that movie V for Vendetta? no, foreign Edition? ah, yeah, I think it is vendetta. The Purge has started. chocolate creepy chocolates, thanks babe. I didn't know we had any more of these. I thought we ~I~ ate them all. I'm kidding! are you alone there without me? yes, I'll come soon. software on it, love you, love you most, love you mostly look pretty. Tracy we were actually... we were out shopping and he's like what do you think of this mask? it was like a store with all masks in it. this is a milk. have you ever had these? they're good. I'm gonna try.. I'm not really hungry. I had too much to eat but hmm I put your tea and sasqually... my God she's a pig... foreign I go through like two of these a day! it's not diabetes I should do a review of Quake snacks, yeah. because they do have a lot of different ones. like, you've seen some of them in my grocery hauls you know the pop pops? they have a lot of like a lot of things... a lot of things are flavored with zatar you guys know what that is? around oh.
[Laughter] Julius here hi!
hi baby, oh, oh she doesn't want to be held right now. hi, honey... she looks like church... hi baby... let me holder better.. okay. honey it's okay. it's okay. it's okay.... she might be scared of your man... she's purring. oh really? oh baby girl
hi sweetie oh you're a sweet girl here oh poor girl okay yeah yellow.. say bye. say bye! yeah I sing to her. you kno,w the song, um the queen hi! to me vintage SO thanks Chloe! my shisha's done anyways. so you want a Calico? she looks like church from um pet cemetery. her eyes the same color. she's so she's so cute anyway.s um oh yeah so you want a fat ginger cat and call him Garfield? zatar is like a seasoning made out of like Thyme and like I think sesame seeds. I don't know, lik,e exactly what's in it... but it's mostly made of thyme so it's really tasty. actually I want to go cuddle Julia now. she's... but she eats a lot. she eats a lot mashallah. she eats a lot she has a good appetite on her. she's so small. I think kittens eat more right? because they're growing but we feed her wet and dry and I give her some cremo treats. those creamy treats, she really loves those. so yeah that's Julia next time I'll show you Halloween Howie try sumac yeah, I have tried sumac before. like, in babba ganoush and stuff. it's like sour a bit. eh or something.. I don't know... I know what I know what it tastes like... I need to whiten my teeth or just wear red lipstick. look what you have here Harry he's here on this side is here on this side. hi Emily! let me grab him for the cage
[Music] hi Emmy here he is oh you big boy Hey Big Boy
[Music] oh Howie don't fall out there's a cat now! I'm kidding! hi everyone! rattler I love you so much, you big fat boy! damn son, he's cute. say "bye, hello, bye-bye yellow" back to your home. he doesn't want to get off my hand yeah it looks like a final grumpy Haggard rat freak and oil thanks, babe. vitamin C, really? I didn't know that, she's cut...e you don't want to come off my hand because he doesn't want to go back in the cage. is that a rat? I'm gonna tease him now. are you a rat are you a mouse are you a hamster? I always say that to him he's a hamster. but he looks like a mouse. I don't know he's a freak of nature. I don't know what to say but yeah he's um he's so cute. I love him he's my big boy, Howie! I let him run around and he was Beason... he got he kind of got stuck under the door but no not actually stuck but he was trying to get out. he's a ratster. oh my God, yes... are you a register? he looks like a hamster to me, yeah. he's like a big chubby hamster and he likes to just like, we this is the second wheel we get him. so we got him a wheel and we moved all the hang out of the way and it's turning fine. you know, the guy at the store was even like, this moves really well. so we put the new wheel inside and remember, whenever we got first got him, he was in that little cage? he was playing on that little wheel but this feels way bigger instead. of he doesn't like that it moves. he doesn't like that it moves so he went out of his way to move the hay, all the hay I took the trouble of moving out for him he put it all back to so that the wheel would be stationary because he likes to sit in the wheel and clean his bum, so he likes to have a clean bum cleaning station and it has to be stationary. he's got his own little like hamster rap personality. he likes to go to the bathroom in one corner. um he chooses wood. he loves his corn. any I have a medley a hamster food medley with like all different nuts and seeds but he only eats certain things. and I could tell when he's had it like I have to replenish his food because only these little grain. he doesn't .I think there's like quinoa... I'm not sure. there's like these tiny little circle pellets he doesn't like them. so he leaves them. he only eats the the certain things inside the medley. he's so picky and weird. I don't know he's a weirdo. That's What I Love About Pets. they all have their own like different little personality. you know personalities? chinchillas they're so cute... yeah they had some at the pet store. I couldn't believe some of the animals they had there! like they had meerkats. they had tucans, like, some people have pet tucans. they're very demanding like, like, having having an exotic pet like that?
anyways guys I think I'm gonna go because it's like late here and I want to go to bed and you know, relax. getting some coffee PJs? oh excuse me... Birds scare the crap out of you, really? I love birds. you have weasels? get out of here! like, the weasels from um Roger rabbits? does Harry still get to run? yeah like he's most of the time in this room, I only came in here to smoke but I don't have my shisha... finish I think it's finished um other than that every day like twice a day. first I come in replenish his, like, spot clean, give him some fruits and vegetables. replenish his Kibbles. then I take him out. he always comes out of his little hay hen and goes like he knows I'm in here. and then I let him run around. and there's like still Parcels in here from moving and stuff. he likes to climb them like they're Mount Everest for him. he's weird. I don't know who he climbs but he likes to run around and then I put him back in attend to Julia. then I come back at night and let him play a bit, you know? but I have to stay in here like I don't.. I could let him stay but I don't know I prefer to just ever since he tried to get up the bottom of the door. I watch him now that I'm in here. he can't be unsupervised he's not trusted. he lost my treasury, so I just set up the gaming station and just watch videos or whatever preferable. if Julia's asleep because she gets very Territorial and like, jealous if I'm in here with the door closed. so kind of thing, anyway... it was nice chatting with you guys um thanks for watching me play with my hijab for an hour uh yeah so what was I gonna say.
I guess that's it, I'm tired. so um thanks for beezing and I hope all of you guys days get better and easier and we'll chat next time. I guess, yeah, um maybe next stream I'll try to think of something fun to do. I like just coming on here and just chatting though really I don't know I like just talking and socializing it's like a form of socialization for me I guess but yeah my beezers so guys thanks for a reason without a reason that's what I'll call it be then without a reason um and I'll see you in my next video or my next live stream so toodaloop, bye guys.

Link(s) for previous post(s) -

• Prologue

Book 1: Pale

Epigraph 1 - (had to put up the whole thing really; won't be doing this for every epigraph; just the imp. ones)

In the eighth year the Free Cities of Genabackis established contracts with a number of mercenary armies to oppose the Imperium's advance; prominent among these were the Crimson Guard, under the command of Prince K'azz D'Avore (see Volumes III & V); and the Tiste Andii regiments of Moon's Spawn, under the command of Caladan Brood and others.
The forces of the Malazan Empire, commanded by High Fist Dujek Onearm, consisted in that year of the 2nd, 5th, and 6th Armies, as well as legions of Moranth.
In retrospect two observations can be made. The first is that the Moranth alliance of 1156 marked a fundamental change in the science of warfare for the Malazan Imperium, which would prove efficacious in the short term. The second observation worth noting is that the involvement of the sorcerous Tiste Andii of Moon's Spawn represented the beginning of the continent's Sorcery Enfilade, with devastating consequences.

All this seems intimidating to say the least!
Epigraph 2 - About a mother lamenting for her boy (it seems), who's now a young soldier, but who's not yet seen what war is about ("bright heart not yet cooled to hard iron"). Is this close to what it's depicting, or...?

Chapter 1

• 1161st year of Burn’s Sleep; 103rd year of the Malazan Empire; 7th year of Empress Laseen’s Rule.

QUICK RECAP

• 7 years since the events of the Prologue.
• Laseen is now the Empress, and the Empire is ever spreading under her rule.
• An old witch, Rigga [1st app.] is alongside a young fisher girl (unnamed) on Itko Kan, watching on as a Regiment of soldiers pass them by.
• The witch is speaking about some prophesies concerning the girl, but the latter is seemingly uninterested. Rigga seems like a cool charac… oh, never mind. She’s dead. (by a swinging gauntleted hand from one of the soldiers, hitting her in the head, and killing her). Well... anyways, moving on.
• With the soldiers now out of sight, and old Rigga lying dead at her feet, the girl encounters two men – Cotillion [1st app.] and Amanas [1st app.], along with a sudden appearance of 7 massive hounds out of nowhere, who then follow the path the soldiers had taken when the latter, shorter man gives the order to do so.
• After a while, screams can be heard. The girl, now a witness, is engulfed by shadows through Cotillion, who says that she’s now “a pawn of god.”
• Some time later, Adjunct Lorn [1st app.] arrives at the horrifying scene where the men, women, and horses of the 19th Regiment of the Itko Kanese Eight Cavalry have been brutally massacred. Along with the locals, over 400 have been killed. (Jeez!)
• Paran, who wanted something challenging, and was hungry for prestige, has now joined the Malazan Army. Now as a Lieutenant, he’s overseeing the investigation of the carnage.
• After discussing his opinions with the Adjunct to the Empress in his usual fearless, uncaring, and confident manner, Paran is hand-picked by Lorn into her staff, to become an aide to the Adjunct. Lorn is sure that the merciless murder of so many is a diversion from something much bigger, and that gods and sorcery are now involved.
• Lorn is no ordinary woman herself. She’s young, dangerous, and a mage killer. The one who hunts down and kills mages. The scorpion in the imperial pocket. And who arrived in Itko Kan thanks to “eerie magical Warrens”. (first mention of the magic being used)
• Meanwhile, Staff Seargant Aragan [1st app.] is faced by a very young, hardly 12/13 year old girl, named Sorry [1st app.], who is there to be recruited into the Malazan Army, specifically under the command of High Fist Dujek Onearm – Onearm’s Host, which is currently overlooking the Genebackan Campaign (which is apparently in a mess of its own).
• Paran is tasked to gather intel of the massacre from a nearby town named Gerrom. But when he reaches there, it’s completely deserted. Even worse, inside the Imperial Constabulary, everyone is dead, killed by magic.

Sweat and death clung to the air thick as gauze.
The dark bloom of sorcery was a stain few cared to examine too closely. It had a way of spreading.

OK, now that sounds like something, eh?

• A short while later, he’s met by Topper [1st app.], a Claw of unsurpassed skill who took the lives of Unta’s royal line. Also, loves the colour green, and wears a lot of colourful rings on both his hands. Oh, and also is apparently the Commander of the Claw itself. (although he persists that Laseen still commands it, and he just assists her)
• After a quick bite of food and a sip of wine, Topper guides Paran and his horse through the Imperial Warren.

Paran turned to see a curtain in the air tear open on the road, spilling dull yellow light. A Warren, the secret paths of sorcery. "Hood's Breath." He sighed, fighting off a sudden chill. Within he could see a grayish pathway, humped on either side by low mounded walls and vaulted overhead by impenetrable ocher-hued mist. The air swept past into the portal like a drawn breath, revealing the pathway to be of ash as invisible currents stirred and raised spinning dust-devils.

First look into the "Warrens".

A short while later they came to a stone archway. It had been recently constructed, and Paran recognized the basalt as Untan, from the Imperial quarries outside the capital. The walls of his family's estate were of the same gray-black glittering stone. At the center of the arch, high over their heads, was carved a taloned hand holding a crystal globe: the Malazan Imperial sigil.

First look at the Malazan Sigil.

• Passing through the archway, they land directly inside the the Hall of The Throne in Unta, where Laseen is sitting atop a throne of twister bone.
• After exchanging a few “pleasantries” with the Empress, Paran meets up with Lorn (who is casually dressing up while Paran enters, but when the latter turns in embarrassment, Lorn replies with “I’m not one for modesty.”). OK lass, fair enough.
• After discussing a few things, Lorn orders Paran to return to his home in the capital for now, and that there will be a reckoning/revenge for the carnage at Itko Kan. Paran answers straightforwardly (as usual) that he’ll be there when that time comes.
• Paran return to his family home, where he is met by Gamet [1st app.], the guard. Once inside, he’s greeted by Tavore [1st app.], his sister who’s a year younger. After very briefly discussing about their father and his business, she mentions that Felisin, the youngest sibling, is at her studies and that she would be happy to see Paran, but sad to know that he’ll be leaving soon. Before leaving, Tavore also mentions that Felisin is “too soft for this world, brother. For any world, I think.”

​
BEST OF: QUOTES / DIALOGUES

The Empire's been grinding this land down for a hundred years. You was born in it. I wasn't. When I was your age Itko Kan was a country. We flew a banner and it was ours. We were free, lass.
Rigga to fisher girl.

​

Across the sea the Empress has driven her knife into virgin soil. The blood now comes in a tide and it'll sweep you under, child, if you're not careful.
Rigga to fisher girl.

​

You are now one with the body of Empire, Lieutenant. It commands you. You respond unquestioningly to its will. You are a small part of a muscle in that body. No more. No less.
Topper to Paran.

​

The Claw smiled. "You have begun to learn, Paran. Never be too easy with the knowledge you possess. Words are like coin—it pays to hoard." Topper
"Until you die on a bed of gold," Paran said.

​
BEST OF: SCENES / MOMENTS

• The Itko Kan Massacre. 'Nuff said! (honestly, something about those four words has a different feeling about them. There's more Gravitas surrounding them, I feel personally. Whenever I think about the whole thing, it just feels like the start to something dark and dangerous. Is it just me?)
• Rigga's prophecies were something to ponder upon for sure!

​
FINAL THOUGHTS + THEORIES AND SPECULATIONS

• There are a couple references present to the Prologue. Firstly, Paran pondering on the words "live quitely" by the Commander. Secondly, Laseen pointing out to Paran that he didn't take the Commander's advice of not joining the Army after all, and that the Commander himself didn't heed to hers (no detail about the latter is present though).
• From what I could gather, there's an unease, a kind of tension between Paran and Tavore it seems. On the other hand, Felisin seems to have a good bonding with Paran.
• Overall, a very good start imho. Of course, there's some names of people and places that you have no idea about, but I'm just enjoying the ride tbh!

​
A huge shoutout to 'Malazan: Search of the Fallen'. It was a massive help, and I hope to continue using this amazing tool. Credit where it's due.
​
Any feedback is always welcome. Hope you enjoyed.
Cheers!

Hi Everyone,
After a long road, I took my first dose of Ozempic last night (.25)
I don't really feel any different at all?
I have (as well as everyone else, I'm sure) a very complicated relationship with food, which is to say, honouring hunger and noticing fullness cues, was never my forte and so I have to work really hard to be present and actually feel what is going on in my body.
I guess, I'm just not sure if I'm supposed to be feeling anything? I woke up this morning and I feel hungry, but...am I supposed to?
I haven't had any side effects such as nausea or anything like that. I guess I'm just not sure what kind of sensations to look out for in order to notice if it's working.
Anyone else having or had a similar experience when starting out?

Hello,
I'd like some fair exchange for those, i'm willing to put more than one game against a game i really want, depends on the offer. I could accept Paypal, but that's not my goal (just getting games i'd like to play). I might want to keep something in those lists, i also have some other Humble and Fanatical games i'm not sure i'll play, so they might appear one day (could be money for an exchange if you have something from my wishlist, don't hesitate to ask). I'm from Europe, that might matter for Keys or gift links. Also, i have many games now, and a lot to do yet, so i might be very picky, even for games on my wishlist (it's more a list for interesting games, that i might want in an undetermined future if i have time).
(HB Unrevealed Key = i have it still unrevealed, but will provide a key, considering the Humble view on trading games)
For people living in France, i also have some old games in boxes that i can send by post, ask me if interested.
My IGSRep page
My SGSFlair page
My GameTrade page
My Barter (come to Barter, it's so much better !)
My SteamTrade
*** I have Amazon Prime, so i already have the games that drop there ***
*** Please tell me what you're interested in in my list and don't just drop yours ***

112 Operator (HB Unrevealed Key)
6120 (Indiegala Key)
911 Operator (HB Unrevealed Key)
A Conversation With Mister Rabbit (Indiegala Key)
Alien Cat 2 (Indiegala Key)
Aliens: Fireteam Elite (HB Unrevealed Key)
Alone With You (DIG Key)
AMID EVIL (HB Unrevealed Key)
Arata Haunted Asylum (DIG Key)
Army Men RTS (HB Unrevealed Key)
AWAKE - Definitive Edition (Fanatical Key)
Baba Is You (HB Unrevealed Key)
Backbone (HB Unrevealed Key)
Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery (HB Unrevealed Key)
BOK-BOK: A Chicken Dating Sim (DIG Key)
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Builder Simulator (HB Unrevealed Key)
Click and Slay (Fanatical Key)
Codename Ghost Hunt (DIG Key)
Combat Tested (Fanatical Key)
Conflict Area (DIG Key)
Conflict Area (Indiegala Key)
Cosmonautica (Fanatical Key)
Cris Tales (HB Unrevealed Key)
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC (HB Unrevealed Key)
Death Squared (HB Unrevealed Key)
Detached: Non-VR Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Destiny 2: Beyond Light (HB Unrevealed Key)
Dezinsector (Indiegala Key)
Don't Look (DIG Key)
Driftland: The Magic Revival (HB Unrevealed Key)
Duke Nukem Forever: Hail to the Icons Parody Pack (HB Unrevealed Key)
Duke Nukem Forever: The Doctor Who Cloned Me (HB Unrevealed Key)
Explosionade (Fanatical Key)
Fling to the Finish (Fanatical Key)
Flyist (DIG Key)
Forep Man (DIG Key)
Frick, Inc. (HB Unrevealed Key)
Fury Unleashed (HB Unrevealed Key)
GALAXIUM (DIG Key)
Generation Zero® (HB Unrevealed Key)
Gloria Victis (HB Unrevealed Key)
GOD's DEATH (DIG Key)
GRIME (HB Unrevealed Key)
Il Sole e la Luna (DIG Key)
Game of the forgotten Gods. Wake up / Игра забытых Богов. Проснись (DIG Key)
GameGuru (HB Unrevealed Key)
Good puzzle: Castles (Indiegala Key)
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload (HB Unrevealed Key)
Hack 'n' Slash (HB Unrevealed Key)
Harpoon (Indiegala Key)
HoloSprint (DIG Key)
Honey, I Joined a Cult (HB Unrevealed Key)
Incandescent (DIG Key)
Intelligence (Indiegala Key)
Izmir: An Independence Simulator (HB Unrevealed Key)
Lemuria: Lost in Space (DIG Key)
Lust from Beyond: M Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Meeple Station (HB Unrevealed Key)
Mello Haunted House (DIG Key)
Metal Strike (DIG Key)
Midnight Ghost Hunt (HB Unrevealed Key)
MirrorMoon EP (HB Unrevealed Key)
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes (HB Unrevealed Key)
NAVALNY: A Nightmare of Corrupt (DIG Key)
Not Another Weekend (Indiegala Key)
Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru (Indiegala Key)
Onsen Master (IGN Key)
Orbital Racer (HB Unrevealed Key)
Patriots: Back to Civilization (DIG Key)
Pixross (HB Unrevealed Key)
Planet TD (HB Unrevealed Key)
Quantum Replica (Fanatical Key) x2
Quest: Escape Room (Indiegala Key)
Raccoon: The Orc Invasion (DIG Key)
Railroad Tycoon 3 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Reach the Summit (Indiegala Key)
Remnants of Naezith (HB Unrevealed Key)
Rocky Ride (Indiegala Key)
Runner3 (Fanatical Key - Might Keep)
Serious Sam HD: The Second Encounter - Legend of the Beast DLC (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sid Meier's Railroads! (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sit on bottle (Indiegala Key)
SMIB: Mission Cure (Indiegala Key)
Soul Searching (HB Unrevealed Key)
Soulblight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Space BloX (DIG Key)
Space Crew: Legendary Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Spider-Robots War (Indiegala Key)
Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Stacking (HB Unrevealed Key)
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (HB Unrevealed Key)
STAR WARS: The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
StarCrossed (HB Unrevealed Key)
Stick Fight: The Game (HB Unrevealed Key)
Strange Brigade (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sunlight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Supreme Ruler Cold War (Fanatical Key)
Swag and Sorcery (HB Unrevealed Key)
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon (Fanatical Key)
System Shock: Enhanced Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
System Shock: Enhanced Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
System Shock 2 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Telefrag VR (HB Unrevealed Key)
Teleglitch: Die More Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Amazing American Circus (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Amazing American Circus (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Big SokoBang (DIG Key)
The Detective Chapters: Part One (DIG Key)
The Governor (DIG Key)
The Inner World (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Invisible Hand (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Orphan A Tale of An Errant Ghost - Hidden Object Game (DIG Key)
The Watchmaker (Fanatical Key)
The Wild Eight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Thyra Adventure (DIG Key)
Ticket to Ride (HB Unrevealed Key)
Time Lock VR 2 (Indiegala Key)
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (HB Unrevealed Key)
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt (HB Unrevealed Key)
Trash Squad (DIG Key)
Tricone Lab (Indiegala Key)
Turbo Golf Racing (HB Unrevealed Key)
Unexplored (Fanatical Key)
Vanguard Princess (DIG Key)
War Robots: Planet Defender (DIG Key)
What A Trash Game (DIG Key)
Win The Diamond (DIG Key)
Worms Rumble (HB Unrevealed Key)
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (HB Unrevealed Key)
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION (HB Unrevealed Key)
Yet Another Hero Story (Indiegala Key)
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Zack 2: Celeste's Map (Indiegala Key)
Zen Cube (DIG Key)
Zombie Claus (Indiegala Key)
Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)

Removed / Banned / Delisted / Purchase Disabled games :

• Afterfall Insanity Extended Edition
• Beast Boxing Turbo
• Betrayer
• Cloud Chamber
• Defenders of Ardania
• Depths of Fear :: Knossos
• Dollar Dash
• Droplitz
• Gettysburg Armored Warfare
• Grind Zones
• Leviathan: Warships
• Magicka: Wizards of the Square Tablet
• Naval War: Arctic Circle
• On The Path
• Quadrant M4
• Quixzel Rush: Pumpkin Bash
• Quixzel Rush: Tooth Protector
• Run Away
• Shadows: Price For Our Sins Bonus Edition
• Sine Mora + Ex
• Spaceguy 2
• Star Shield Down
• Trials of The Illuminati: Women of Beauty Jigsaws
• Trials of The Illuminati: Animated Christmas Time Jigsaws
• Two Brothers
• World War 1 Centennial Edition
• ZombieRush

Challenges, Lootboy, second hand, might have some dupes in it (also might not be up to date) => i can exchange them for games but also for trading cards, based on grey market value Vs trading cards market value :

• 1954 Alcatraz
• A New Beginning
• A New Beginning - Final Cut
• A Valley Without Wind
• Alien Spidy
• Angvik
• Animals
• Anna - Extended Edition
• Anna's Quest
• AquaNox
• AquaNox 2
• Bad Rats
• Bang Bang Racing
• Beat Hazard
• Beat Hazard Complete
• Bionic Heart
• BlazeRush
• Bunch Of Heroes
• CAPSULE
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2014
• Cargo! - The quest for gravity
• Ceville
• Clockwork Survivors
• Commander: Conquest of the Americas
• Commandos 2: Men of Courage
• Commandos 3: Destination Berlin
• Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
• Commandos: Beyond the Call of Duty
• Company of Crime
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Crash Time 3
• Critical Mass
• CrossKrush
• Dangerous platform
• Dark Fall: Lost Souls
• Darwinia
• Dead Hungry Diner
• Deadly 30
• Defunct
• Demigod
• Deponia
• DESOLATE
• Disciples II: Galleans Return
• Disciples II: Rise of the Elves
• Dragon Blast DLC
• Drop Hunt - Adventure Puzzle
• Dungeon of the Endless
• Dungeons - The Dark Lord
• Eidolon
• El Matador
• Elite Forces
• Escape From Russia: Mobilization
• Eternal Step
• Ethan: Meteor Hunter Deluxe Edition
• EUIII Chronicles
• eXceed - Gun Bullet Children
• Fantasy Wars
• Fated Souls 3
• Fester Mudd - Episode 1
• Figment
• Final Slam 2
• Finding Teddy
• Fireburst
• Flower Shop: Summer In Fairbrook
• Flower Shop: Winter In Fairbrook
• Future Wars
• Galactic Civilizations I: Ultimate Edition
• Girlfriend Rescue
• Going Under
• Grand Ages Rome
• Grand Ages Rome Gold
• Grav Blazer
• Greed: Black Border
• Grotesque Tactics: Evil Heroes
• Gunman Clive
• Hard Reset Extended Edition
• Heileen 2: The Hands Of Fate
• Hero by Chance
• Holy Avatar vs. Maidens of the Dead
• Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
• Home
• Huntsman: The Orphanage
• Idol Hands
• Imperial Glory
• In Between
• inMomentum
• Ion Assault
• Jets'n'Guns Gold
• Jumping Cat
• Kalaban
• KAMI
• King's Bounty: Armored Princess
• King's Bounty: The Legend
• Kingdom Wars 4 - The Plague: Kingdom Wars
• Knights of Honor
• Konung 2
• Konung 3
• Legends of Eisenwald
• Little Racers STREET
• M.U.D. TV
• Magicka
• Majesty 2
• Mata Hari
• Megabyte Punch
• Memory Booster
• Men of War: Assault Squad GOTY
• Mind: Path to Thalamus
• Miner Wars 2081
• Multiwinia
• NASCAR '15 Victory Edition
• NASCAR Heat Evolution
• Night Wanderings
• Nordlicht
• Norega Barracks + Academy DLC
• Nuclear Dawn
• Nuclear Dawn
• Of Orcs and Men
• Oil Rush Bundle
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• Onikira - Demon Killer
• Overcast - Walden and the Werewolf
• Painkiller Recurring Evil
• Painkiller Redemption
• Painkiller: Black Edition
• Patrician IV
• Patrician IV Gold
• Pirates of Black Cove
• Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
• PixelJunk Monsters Ultimate
• Planets Under Attack
• Plush
• Poly Memory: Cats
• Poly Puzzle: Dogs
• Poly Puzzle: Furries
• Poof
• Post Apocalyptic Mayhem
• Praetorians
• Primal Carnage
• Punch Club
• Purgatory: War of the Damned
• Puzzle Art: Cats
• Puzzle Kingdoms
• Quell
• Quell Memento
• Quell Reflect
• Race! Beauty! Bugs!
• Razor2: Hidden Skies
• Really Big Sky
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered + Armageddon Bundle With DLC (Nordic D)
• Red Johnson's Chronicles - 1+2
• Regions of Ruin
• Rise of Flight: Channel Battles Edition
• Runaway, The Dream of the Turtle
• Save the Dodos
• Shadowgrounds Survivor
• Shift Happens
• Simple Builder
• Skilltree Saga
• Sky Mercenaries
• Smalles Class DLC
• Space Empires IV Deluxe
• Space Empires V
• Space Pilgrim Academy: Year 3
• Spirited Heart Deluxe
• Square's Route
• Star Ruler
• Star Wolves
• Starsphere
• Stellar Interface
• Stoirs VR
• STRIDER
• Stunt Hill
• Swamp Jump
• Switch Galaxy Ultra
• Sword of the Stars Complete Collection
• Terror Time
• The Deed II
• The Deed: Dynasty
• The End of Labyronia: Nerubis
• The God's Chain
• The Joylancer: Legendary Motor Knight
• The King's Crusade - Lionheart
• The Old City: Leviathan
• The Void
• Theatre of War 2: Africa 1943
• Theatre of War: 3 - Korea
• Theatre of War: Centauro
• Theatre of War: Kursk + Caen
• Toby: The Secret Mine
• Toy Tinker Simulator
• Trainz Simulator 12
• Trainz Simulator 12 - Coronation Scot DLC
• TRAUMA
• Tropico 3
• Trulon: The Shadow Engine
• Turba
• Twin Sector
• UFO Afterlight
• Undefeated
• Uplink
• Us and them
• Valnir Rok
• Vault Cracker
• Vegas: Make It Big
• Velvet Assassin
• Vessel
• Warrior Kings
• Warriors' Wrath
• Wasteland Angel
• Weable
• When Our Journey Ends - A Visual Novel
• Whispering Willows
• Windforge
• Windscape
• Windstorm: Start of a Great Friendship
• Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition
• Zombie Pirates
• Zombie Shooter

Wishlist :
Various offers welcome, i'll browse lists, and most wanted are :
Currently or recently bundled : * ABRISS * Achilles: Legends Untold * AFTERLIFE: KILLING DEATH * ALTF4 * Blade of Darkness * Boneraiser Minions * Brotato * CARRION * Deadlink * Dome Keeper * Dread Delusion * Gearshifters * Gone Viral * GRAVEN * HYPER DEMON * Impaler * Just King * LEGO® Star Wars™: The Skywalker Saga * Loot River * Mago * Prince of Persia (various) * Project Warlock II * Rogue: Genesia * Shantae and the Seven Sirens * The Citadel * Ultratron * ULTRAKILL * Windbound * Zombieland: Double Tap - Road Trip
Bigger or rarer (for a big load of my games) : * Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord * RESIDENT EVIL Village * Hades * Cyberpunk 2077 * ELDEN RING * A Plague Tale: Requiem * Cuphead * GTFO * Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy * Noita * Choo-Choo Charles * Garry's Mod * Prototype 1 and 2 * Bleak Faith: Forsaken
DLCs : * The Surge The Good, the Bad and the Augmented DLC * The Surge 2 - Season Pass * Vermintide 2 DLCs : Warrior Priest Career - Sister of the Thorn * Borderlands 3 Season Pass 2 * Mortal Shell: The Virtuous Cycle * Rocksmith DLCs * Lego Season Passes (DC Super Villains - Jurassic World - Marvel Super Heroes - Movie - Hobbit - Incredibles - Worlds) * Dead by Daylight DLCs (A Nightmare on Elm Street - Ash vs Evil Dead - Chains of Hate - Charity Case - Curtain Call - Ghost Face - Headcase - LEATHERFACE - Resident Evil Chapter - Silent Hill Chapter - Stranger Things Chapter - The Bloodstained Sack - The Halloween Chapter - The Saw Chapter - Sadako Rising Chapter - Forged in Fog - Resident Evil: PROJECT W)
See here for the rest of my wishlist.
Compare2Steam
+ offers, i'll browse lists, and eventually take Paypal, but i'm more interested in Paypal & TF2, but i'm more interested in games trades

Hello,
I'd like some fair exchange for those, i'm willing to put more than one game against a game i really want, depends on the offer. I could accept Paypal, but that's not my goal (just getting games i'd like to play). I might want to keep something in those lists, i also have some other Humble and Fanatical games i'm not sure i'll play, so they might appear one day (could be money for an exchange if you have something from my wishlist, don't hesitate to ask). I'm from Europe, that might matter for Keys or gift links. Also, i have many games now, and a lot to do yet, so i might be very picky, even for games on my wishlist (it's more a list for interesting games, that i might want in an undetermined future if i have time).
(HB Unrevealed Key = i have it still unrevealed, but will provide a key, considering the Humble view on trading games)
For people living in France, i also have some old games in boxes that i can send by post, ask me if interested.
My IGSRep page
My SGSFlair page
My GameTrade page
My Barter (come to Barter, it's so much better !)
My SteamTrade
*** I have Amazon Prime, so i already have the games that drop there ***
*** Please tell me what you're interested in in my list and don't just drop yours ***

112 Operator (HB Unrevealed Key)
6120 (Indiegala Key)
911 Operator (HB Unrevealed Key)
A Conversation With Mister Rabbit (Indiegala Key)
Alien Cat 2 (Indiegala Key)
Aliens: Fireteam Elite (HB Unrevealed Key)
Alone With You (DIG Key)
AMID EVIL (HB Unrevealed Key)
Arata Haunted Asylum (DIG Key)
Army Men RTS (HB Unrevealed Key)
AWAKE - Definitive Edition (Fanatical Key)
Baba Is You (HB Unrevealed Key)
Backbone (HB Unrevealed Key)
Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery (HB Unrevealed Key)
BOK-BOK: A Chicken Dating Sim (DIG Key)
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Builder Simulator (HB Unrevealed Key)
Click and Slay (Fanatical Key)
Codename Ghost Hunt (DIG Key)
Combat Tested (Fanatical Key)
Conflict Area (DIG Key)
Conflict Area (Indiegala Key)
Cosmonautica (Fanatical Key)
Cris Tales (HB Unrevealed Key)
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC (HB Unrevealed Key)
Death Squared (HB Unrevealed Key)
Detached: Non-VR Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Destiny 2: Beyond Light (HB Unrevealed Key)
Dezinsector (Indiegala Key)
Don't Look (DIG Key)
Driftland: The Magic Revival (HB Unrevealed Key)
Duke Nukem Forever: Hail to the Icons Parody Pack (HB Unrevealed Key)
Duke Nukem Forever: The Doctor Who Cloned Me (HB Unrevealed Key)
Explosionade (Fanatical Key)
Fling to the Finish (Fanatical Key)
Flyist (DIG Key)
Forep Man (DIG Key)
Frick, Inc. (HB Unrevealed Key)
Fury Unleashed (HB Unrevealed Key)
GALAXIUM (DIG Key)
Generation Zero® (HB Unrevealed Key)
Gloria Victis (HB Unrevealed Key)
GOD's DEATH (DIG Key)
GRIME (HB Unrevealed Key)
Il Sole e la Luna (DIG Key)
Game of the forgotten Gods. Wake up / Игра забытых Богов. Проснись (DIG Key)
GameGuru (HB Unrevealed Key)
Good puzzle: Castles (Indiegala Key)
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload (HB Unrevealed Key)
Hack 'n' Slash (HB Unrevealed Key)
Harpoon (Indiegala Key)
HoloSprint (DIG Key)
Honey, I Joined a Cult (HB Unrevealed Key)
Incandescent (DIG Key)
Intelligence (Indiegala Key)
Izmir: An Independence Simulator (HB Unrevealed Key)
Lemuria: Lost in Space (DIG Key)
Lust from Beyond: M Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Meeple Station (HB Unrevealed Key)
Mello Haunted House (DIG Key)
Metal Strike (DIG Key)
Midnight Ghost Hunt (HB Unrevealed Key)
MirrorMoon EP (HB Unrevealed Key)
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes (HB Unrevealed Key)
NAVALNY: A Nightmare of Corrupt (DIG Key)
Not Another Weekend (Indiegala Key)
Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru (Indiegala Key)
Onsen Master (IGN Key)
Orbital Racer (HB Unrevealed Key)
Patriots: Back to Civilization (DIG Key)
Pixross (HB Unrevealed Key)
Planet TD (HB Unrevealed Key)
Quantum Replica (Fanatical Key) x2
Quest: Escape Room (Indiegala Key)
Raccoon: The Orc Invasion (DIG Key)
Railroad Tycoon 3 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Reach the Summit (Indiegala Key)
Remnants of Naezith (HB Unrevealed Key)
Rocky Ride (Indiegala Key)
Runner3 (Fanatical Key - Might Keep)
Serious Sam HD: The Second Encounter - Legend of the Beast DLC (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sid Meier's Railroads! (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sit on bottle (Indiegala Key)
SMIB: Mission Cure (Indiegala Key)
Soul Searching (HB Unrevealed Key)
Soulblight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Space BloX (DIG Key)
Space Crew: Legendary Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Spider-Robots War (Indiegala Key)
Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Stacking (HB Unrevealed Key)
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (HB Unrevealed Key)
STAR WARS: The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
StarCrossed (HB Unrevealed Key)
Stick Fight: The Game (HB Unrevealed Key)
Strange Brigade (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sunlight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Supreme Ruler Cold War (Fanatical Key)
Swag and Sorcery (HB Unrevealed Key)
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon (Fanatical Key)
System Shock: Enhanced Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
System Shock: Enhanced Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
System Shock 2 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Telefrag VR (HB Unrevealed Key)
Teleglitch: Die More Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Amazing American Circus (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Amazing American Circus (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Big SokoBang (DIG Key)
The Detective Chapters: Part One (DIG Key)
The Governor (DIG Key)
The Inner World (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Invisible Hand (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Orphan A Tale of An Errant Ghost - Hidden Object Game (DIG Key)
The Watchmaker (Fanatical Key)
The Wild Eight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Thyra Adventure (DIG Key)
Ticket to Ride (HB Unrevealed Key)
Time Lock VR 2 (Indiegala Key)
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (HB Unrevealed Key)
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt (HB Unrevealed Key)
Trash Squad (DIG Key)
Tricone Lab (Indiegala Key)
Turbo Golf Racing (HB Unrevealed Key)
Unexplored (Fanatical Key)
Vanguard Princess (DIG Key)
War Robots: Planet Defender (DIG Key)
What A Trash Game (DIG Key)
Win The Diamond (DIG Key)
Worms Rumble (HB Unrevealed Key)
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (HB Unrevealed Key)
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION (HB Unrevealed Key)
Yet Another Hero Story (Indiegala Key)
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Zack 2: Celeste's Map (Indiegala Key)
Zen Cube (DIG Key)
Zombie Claus (Indiegala Key)
Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)

Removed / Banned / Delisted / Purchase Disabled games :

• Afterfall Insanity Extended Edition
• Beast Boxing Turbo
• Betrayer
• Cloud Chamber
• Defenders of Ardania
• Depths of Fear :: Knossos
• Dollar Dash
• Droplitz
• Gettysburg Armored Warfare
• Grind Zones
• Leviathan: Warships
• Magicka: Wizards of the Square Tablet
• Naval War: Arctic Circle
• On The Path
• Quadrant M4
• Quixzel Rush: Pumpkin Bash
• Quixzel Rush: Tooth Protector
• Run Away
• Shadows: Price For Our Sins Bonus Edition
• Sine Mora + Ex
• Spaceguy 2
• Star Shield Down
• Trials of The Illuminati: Women of Beauty Jigsaws
• Trials of The Illuminati: Animated Christmas Time Jigsaws
• Two Brothers
• World War 1 Centennial Edition
• ZombieRush

Challenges, Lootboy, second hand, might have some dupes in it (also might not be up to date) => i can exchange them for games but also for trading cards, based on grey market value Vs trading cards market value :

• 1954 Alcatraz
• A New Beginning
• A New Beginning - Final Cut
• A Valley Without Wind
• Alien Spidy
• Angvik
• Animals
• Anna - Extended Edition
• Anna's Quest
• AquaNox
• AquaNox 2
• Bad Rats
• Bang Bang Racing
• Beat Hazard
• Beat Hazard Complete
• Bionic Heart
• BlazeRush
• Bunch Of Heroes
• CAPSULE
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2014
• Cargo! - The quest for gravity
• Ceville
• Clockwork Survivors
• Commander: Conquest of the Americas
• Commandos 2: Men of Courage
• Commandos 3: Destination Berlin
• Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
• Commandos: Beyond the Call of Duty
• Company of Crime
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Crash Time 3
• Critical Mass
• CrossKrush
• Dangerous platform
• Dark Fall: Lost Souls
• Darwinia
• Dead Hungry Diner
• Deadly 30
• Defunct
• Demigod
• Deponia
• DESOLATE
• Disciples II: Galleans Return
• Disciples II: Rise of the Elves
• Dragon Blast DLC
• Drop Hunt - Adventure Puzzle
• Dungeon of the Endless
• Dungeons - The Dark Lord
• Eidolon
• El Matador
• Elite Forces
• Escape From Russia: Mobilization
• Eternal Step
• Ethan: Meteor Hunter Deluxe Edition
• EUIII Chronicles
• eXceed - Gun Bullet Children
• Fantasy Wars
• Fated Souls 3
• Fester Mudd - Episode 1
• Figment
• Final Slam 2
• Finding Teddy
• Fireburst
• Flower Shop: Summer In Fairbrook
• Flower Shop: Winter In Fairbrook
• Future Wars
• Galactic Civilizations I: Ultimate Edition
• Girlfriend Rescue
• Going Under
• Grand Ages Rome
• Grand Ages Rome Gold
• Grav Blazer
• Greed: Black Border
• Grotesque Tactics: Evil Heroes
• Gunman Clive
• Hard Reset Extended Edition
• Heileen 2: The Hands Of Fate
• Hero by Chance
• Holy Avatar vs. Maidens of the Dead
• Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
• Home
• Huntsman: The Orphanage
• Idol Hands
• Imperial Glory
• In Between
• inMomentum
• Ion Assault
• Jets'n'Guns Gold
• Jumping Cat
• Kalaban
• KAMI
• King's Bounty: Armored Princess
• King's Bounty: The Legend
• Kingdom Wars 4 - The Plague: Kingdom Wars
• Knights of Honor
• Konung 2
• Konung 3
• Legends of Eisenwald
• Little Racers STREET
• M.U.D. TV
• Magicka
• Majesty 2
• Mata Hari
• Megabyte Punch
• Memory Booster
• Men of War: Assault Squad GOTY
• Mind: Path to Thalamus
• Miner Wars 2081
• Multiwinia
• NASCAR '15 Victory Edition
• NASCAR Heat Evolution
• Night Wanderings
• Nordlicht
• Norega Barracks + Academy DLC
• Nuclear Dawn
• Nuclear Dawn
• Of Orcs and Men
• Oil Rush Bundle
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• Onikira - Demon Killer
• Overcast - Walden and the Werewolf
• Painkiller Recurring Evil
• Painkiller Redemption
• Painkiller: Black Edition
• Patrician IV
• Patrician IV Gold
• Pirates of Black Cove
• Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
• PixelJunk Monsters Ultimate
• Planets Under Attack
• Plush
• Poly Memory: Cats
• Poly Puzzle: Dogs
• Poly Puzzle: Furries
• Poof
• Post Apocalyptic Mayhem
• Praetorians
• Primal Carnage
• Punch Club
• Purgatory: War of the Damned
• Puzzle Art: Cats
• Puzzle Kingdoms
• Quell
• Quell Memento
• Quell Reflect
• Race! Beauty! Bugs!
• Razor2: Hidden Skies
• Really Big Sky
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered + Armageddon Bundle With DLC (Nordic D)
• Red Johnson's Chronicles - 1+2
• Regions of Ruin
• Rise of Flight: Channel Battles Edition
• Runaway, The Dream of the Turtle
• Save the Dodos
• Shadowgrounds Survivor
• Shift Happens
• Simple Builder
• Skilltree Saga
• Sky Mercenaries
• Smalles Class DLC
• Space Empires IV Deluxe
• Space Empires V
• Space Pilgrim Academy: Year 3
• Spirited Heart Deluxe
• Square's Route
• Star Ruler
• Star Wolves
• Starsphere
• Stellar Interface
• Stoirs VR
• STRIDER
• Stunt Hill
• Swamp Jump
• Switch Galaxy Ultra
• Sword of the Stars Complete Collection
• Terror Time
• The Deed II
• The Deed: Dynasty
• The End of Labyronia: Nerubis
• The God's Chain
• The Joylancer: Legendary Motor Knight
• The King's Crusade - Lionheart
• The Old City: Leviathan
• The Void
• Theatre of War 2: Africa 1943
• Theatre of War: 3 - Korea
• Theatre of War: Centauro
• Theatre of War: Kursk + Caen
• Toby: The Secret Mine
• Toy Tinker Simulator
• Trainz Simulator 12
• Trainz Simulator 12 - Coronation Scot DLC
• TRAUMA
• Tropico 3
• Trulon: The Shadow Engine
• Turba
• Twin Sector
• UFO Afterlight
• Undefeated
• Uplink
• Us and them
• Valnir Rok
• Vault Cracker
• Vegas: Make It Big
• Velvet Assassin
• Vessel
• Warrior Kings
• Warriors' Wrath
• Wasteland Angel
• Weable
• When Our Journey Ends - A Visual Novel
• Whispering Willows
• Windforge
• Windscape
• Windstorm: Start of a Great Friendship
• Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition
• Zombie Pirates
• Zombie Shooter

Wishlist :
Various offers welcome, i'll browse lists, and most wanted are :
Currently or recently bundled : * ABRISS * Achilles: Legends Untold * AFTERLIFE: KILLING DEATH * ALTF4 * Blade of Darkness * Boneraiser Minions * Brotato * CARRION * Deadlink * Dome Keeper * Dread Delusion * Gearshifters * Gone Viral * GRAVEN * HYPER DEMON * Impaler * Just King * LEGO® Star Wars™: The Skywalker Saga * Loot River * Mago * Prince of Persia (various) * Project Warlock II * Rogue: Genesia * Shantae and the Seven Sirens * The Citadel * Ultratron * ULTRAKILL * Windbound * Zombieland: Double Tap - Road Trip
Bigger or rarer (for a big load of my games) : * Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord * RESIDENT EVIL Village * Hades * Cyberpunk 2077 * ELDEN RING * A Plague Tale: Requiem * Cuphead * GTFO * Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy * Noita * Choo-Choo Charles * Garry's Mod * Prototype 1 and 2 * Bleak Faith: Forsaken
DLCs : * The Surge The Good, the Bad and the Augmented DLC * The Surge 2 - Season Pass * Vermintide 2 DLCs : Warrior Priest Career - Sister of the Thorn * Borderlands 3 Season Pass 2 * Mortal Shell: The Virtuous Cycle * Rocksmith DLCs * Lego Season Passes (DC Super Villains - Jurassic World - Marvel Super Heroes - Movie - Hobbit - Incredibles - Worlds) * Dead by Daylight DLCs (A Nightmare on Elm Street - Ash vs Evil Dead - Chains of Hate - Charity Case - Curtain Call - Ghost Face - Headcase - LEATHERFACE - Resident Evil Chapter - Silent Hill Chapter - Stranger Things Chapter - The Bloodstained Sack - The Halloween Chapter - The Saw Chapter - Sadako Rising Chapter - Forged in Fog - Resident Evil: PROJECT W)
See here for the rest of my wishlist.
Compare2Steam
+ offers, i'll browse lists, and eventually take Paypal, but i'm more interested in Paypal & TF2, but i'm more interested in games trades

Hello,
I'd like some fair exchange for those, i'm willing to put more than one game against a game i really want, depends on the offer. I could accept Paypal, but that's not my goal (just getting games i'd like to play). I might want to keep something in those lists, i also have some other Humble and Fanatical games i'm not sure i'll play, so they might appear one day (could be money for an exchange if you have something from my wishlist, don't hesitate to ask). I'm from Europe, that might matter for Keys or gift links. Also, i have many games now, and a lot to do yet, so i might be very picky, even for games on my wishlist (it's more a list for interesting games, that i might want in an undetermined future if i have time).
(HB Unrevealed Key = i have it still unrevealed, but will provide a key, considering the Humble view on trading games)
For people living in France, i also have some old games in boxes that i can send by post, ask me if interested.
My IGSRep page
My SGSFlair page
My GameTrade page
My Barter (come to Barter, it's so much better !)
My SteamTrade
*** I have Amazon Prime, so i already have the games that drop there ***
*** Please tell me what you're interested in in my list and don't just drop yours ***

112 Operator (HB Unrevealed Key)
6120 (Indiegala Key)
911 Operator (HB Unrevealed Key)
A Conversation With Mister Rabbit (Indiegala Key)
Alien Cat 2 (Indiegala Key)
Aliens: Fireteam Elite (HB Unrevealed Key)
Alone With You (DIG Key)
AMID EVIL (HB Unrevealed Key)
Arata Haunted Asylum (DIG Key)
Army Men RTS (HB Unrevealed Key)
AWAKE - Definitive Edition (Fanatical Key)
Baba Is You (HB Unrevealed Key)
Backbone (HB Unrevealed Key)
Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery (HB Unrevealed Key)
BOK-BOK: A Chicken Dating Sim (DIG Key)
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Builder Simulator (HB Unrevealed Key)
Click and Slay (Fanatical Key)
Codename Ghost Hunt (DIG Key)
Combat Tested (Fanatical Key)
Conflict Area (DIG Key)
Conflict Area (Indiegala Key)
Cosmonautica (Fanatical Key)
Cris Tales (HB Unrevealed Key)
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC (HB Unrevealed Key)
Death Squared (HB Unrevealed Key)
Detached: Non-VR Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Destiny 2: Beyond Light (HB Unrevealed Key)
Dezinsector (Indiegala Key)
Don't Look (DIG Key)
Driftland: The Magic Revival (HB Unrevealed Key)
Duke Nukem Forever: Hail to the Icons Parody Pack (HB Unrevealed Key)
Duke Nukem Forever: The Doctor Who Cloned Me (HB Unrevealed Key)
Explosionade (Fanatical Key)
Fling to the Finish (Fanatical Key)
Flyist (DIG Key)
Forep Man (DIG Key)
Frick, Inc. (HB Unrevealed Key)
Fury Unleashed (HB Unrevealed Key)
GALAXIUM (DIG Key)
Generation Zero® (HB Unrevealed Key)
Gloria Victis (HB Unrevealed Key)
GOD's DEATH (DIG Key)
GRIME (HB Unrevealed Key)
Il Sole e la Luna (DIG Key)
Game of the forgotten Gods. Wake up / Игра забытых Богов. Проснись (DIG Key)
GameGuru (HB Unrevealed Key)
Good puzzle: Castles (Indiegala Key)
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload (HB Unrevealed Key)
Hack 'n' Slash (HB Unrevealed Key)
Harpoon (Indiegala Key)
HoloSprint (DIG Key)
Honey, I Joined a Cult (HB Unrevealed Key)
Incandescent (DIG Key)
Intelligence (Indiegala Key)
Izmir: An Independence Simulator (HB Unrevealed Key)
Lemuria: Lost in Space (DIG Key)
Lust from Beyond: M Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Meeple Station (HB Unrevealed Key)
Mello Haunted House (DIG Key)
Metal Strike (DIG Key)
Midnight Ghost Hunt (HB Unrevealed Key)
MirrorMoon EP (HB Unrevealed Key)
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes (HB Unrevealed Key)
NAVALNY: A Nightmare of Corrupt (DIG Key)
Not Another Weekend (Indiegala Key)
Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru (Indiegala Key)
Onsen Master (IGN Key)
Orbital Racer (HB Unrevealed Key)
Patriots: Back to Civilization (DIG Key)
Pixross (HB Unrevealed Key)
Planet TD (HB Unrevealed Key)
Quantum Replica (Fanatical Key) x2
Quest: Escape Room (Indiegala Key)
Raccoon: The Orc Invasion (DIG Key)
Railroad Tycoon 3 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Reach the Summit (Indiegala Key)
Remnants of Naezith (HB Unrevealed Key)
Rocky Ride (Indiegala Key)
Runner3 (Fanatical Key - Might Keep)
Serious Sam HD: The Second Encounter - Legend of the Beast DLC (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sid Meier's Railroads! (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sit on bottle (Indiegala Key)
SMIB: Mission Cure (Indiegala Key)
Soul Searching (HB Unrevealed Key)
Soulblight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Space BloX (DIG Key)
Space Crew: Legendary Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Spider-Robots War (Indiegala Key)
Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
Stacking (HB Unrevealed Key)
STAR WARS Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (HB Unrevealed Key)
STAR WARS: The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
StarCrossed (HB Unrevealed Key)
Stick Fight: The Game (HB Unrevealed Key)
Strange Brigade (HB Unrevealed Key)
Sunlight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Supreme Ruler Cold War (Fanatical Key)
Swag and Sorcery (HB Unrevealed Key)
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon (Fanatical Key)
System Shock: Enhanced Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
System Shock: Enhanced Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
System Shock 2 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Telefrag VR (HB Unrevealed Key)
Teleglitch: Die More Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Amazing American Circus (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Amazing American Circus (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Big SokoBang (DIG Key)
The Detective Chapters: Part One (DIG Key)
The Governor (DIG Key)
The Inner World (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Invisible Hand (HB Unrevealed Key)
The Orphan A Tale of An Errant Ghost - Hidden Object Game (DIG Key)
The Watchmaker (Fanatical Key)
The Wild Eight (HB Unrevealed Key)
Thyra Adventure (DIG Key)
Ticket to Ride (HB Unrevealed Key)
Time Lock VR 2 (Indiegala Key)
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (HB Unrevealed Key)
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt (HB Unrevealed Key)
Trash Squad (DIG Key)
Tricone Lab (Indiegala Key)
Turbo Golf Racing (HB Unrevealed Key)
Unexplored (Fanatical Key)
Vanguard Princess (DIG Key)
War Robots: Planet Defender (DIG Key)
What A Trash Game (DIG Key)
Win The Diamond (DIG Key)
Worms Rumble (HB Unrevealed Key)
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (HB Unrevealed Key)
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION (HB Unrevealed Key)
Yet Another Hero Story (Indiegala Key)
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2 (HB Unrevealed Key)
Zack 2: Celeste's Map (Indiegala Key)
Zen Cube (DIG Key)
Zombie Claus (Indiegala Key)
Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition (HB Unrevealed Key)

Removed / Banned / Delisted / Purchase Disabled games :

• Afterfall Insanity Extended Edition
• Beast Boxing Turbo
• Betrayer
• Cloud Chamber
• Defenders of Ardania
• Depths of Fear :: Knossos
• Dollar Dash
• Droplitz
• Gettysburg Armored Warfare
• Grind Zones
• Leviathan: Warships
• Magicka: Wizards of the Square Tablet
• Naval War: Arctic Circle
• On The Path
• Quadrant M4
• Quixzel Rush: Pumpkin Bash
• Quixzel Rush: Tooth Protector
• Run Away
• Shadows: Price For Our Sins Bonus Edition
• Sine Mora + Ex
• Spaceguy 2
• Star Shield Down
• Trials of The Illuminati: Women of Beauty Jigsaws
• Trials of The Illuminati: Animated Christmas Time Jigsaws
• Two Brothers
• World War 1 Centennial Edition
• ZombieRush

Challenges, Lootboy, second hand, might have some dupes in it (also might not be up to date) => i can exchange them for games but also for trading cards, based on grey market value Vs trading cards market value :

• 1954 Alcatraz
• A New Beginning
• A New Beginning - Final Cut
• A Valley Without Wind
• Alien Spidy
• Angvik
• Animals
• Anna - Extended Edition
• Anna's Quest
• AquaNox
• AquaNox 2
• Bad Rats
• Bang Bang Racing
• Beat Hazard
• Beat Hazard Complete
• Bionic Heart
• BlazeRush
• Bunch Of Heroes
• CAPSULE
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2014
• Cargo! - The quest for gravity
• Ceville
• Clockwork Survivors
• Commander: Conquest of the Americas
• Commandos 2: Men of Courage
• Commandos 3: Destination Berlin
• Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
• Commandos: Beyond the Call of Duty
• Company of Crime
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Crash Time 3
• Critical Mass
• CrossKrush
• Dangerous platform
• Dark Fall: Lost Souls
• Darwinia
• Dead Hungry Diner
• Deadly 30
• Defunct
• Demigod
• Deponia
• DESOLATE
• Disciples II: Galleans Return
• Disciples II: Rise of the Elves
• Dragon Blast DLC
• Drop Hunt - Adventure Puzzle
• Dungeon of the Endless
• Dungeons - The Dark Lord
• Eidolon
• El Matador
• Elite Forces
• Escape From Russia: Mobilization
• Eternal Step
• Ethan: Meteor Hunter Deluxe Edition
• EUIII Chronicles
• eXceed - Gun Bullet Children
• Fantasy Wars
• Fated Souls 3
• Fester Mudd - Episode 1
• Figment
• Final Slam 2
• Finding Teddy
• Fireburst
• Flower Shop: Summer In Fairbrook
• Flower Shop: Winter In Fairbrook
• Future Wars
• Galactic Civilizations I: Ultimate Edition
• Girlfriend Rescue
• Going Under
• Grand Ages Rome
• Grand Ages Rome Gold
• Grav Blazer
• Greed: Black Border
• Grotesque Tactics: Evil Heroes
• Gunman Clive
• Hard Reset Extended Edition
• Heileen 2: The Hands Of Fate
• Hero by Chance
• Holy Avatar vs. Maidens of the Dead
• Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
• Home
• Huntsman: The Orphanage
• Idol Hands
• Imperial Glory
• In Between
• inMomentum
• Ion Assault
• Jets'n'Guns Gold
• Jumping Cat
• Kalaban
• KAMI
• King's Bounty: Armored Princess
• King's Bounty: The Legend
• Kingdom Wars 4 - The Plague: Kingdom Wars
• Knights of Honor
• Konung 2
• Konung 3
• Legends of Eisenwald
• Little Racers STREET
• M.U.D. TV
• Magicka
• Majesty 2
• Mata Hari
• Megabyte Punch
• Memory Booster
• Men of War: Assault Squad GOTY
• Mind: Path to Thalamus
• Miner Wars 2081
• Multiwinia
• NASCAR '15 Victory Edition
• NASCAR Heat Evolution
• Night Wanderings
• Nordlicht
• Norega Barracks + Academy DLC
• Nuclear Dawn
• Nuclear Dawn
• Of Orcs and Men
• Oil Rush Bundle
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• Onikira - Demon Killer
• Overcast - Walden and the Werewolf
• Painkiller Recurring Evil
• Painkiller Redemption
• Painkiller: Black Edition
• Patrician IV
• Patrician IV Gold
• Pirates of Black Cove
• Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
• PixelJunk Monsters Ultimate
• Planets Under Attack
• Plush
• Poly Memory: Cats
• Poly Puzzle: Dogs
• Poly Puzzle: Furries
• Poof
• Post Apocalyptic Mayhem
• Praetorians
• Primal Carnage
• Punch Club
• Purgatory: War of the Damned
• Puzzle Art: Cats
• Puzzle Kingdoms
• Quell
• Quell Memento
• Quell Reflect
• Race! Beauty! Bugs!
• Razor2: Hidden Skies
• Really Big Sky
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered + Armageddon Bundle With DLC (Nordic D)
• Red Johnson's Chronicles - 1+2
• Regions of Ruin
• Rise of Flight: Channel Battles Edition
• Runaway, The Dream of the Turtle
• Save the Dodos
• Shadowgrounds Survivor
• Shift Happens
• Simple Builder
• Skilltree Saga
• Sky Mercenaries
• Smalles Class DLC
• Space Empires IV Deluxe
• Space Empires V
• Space Pilgrim Academy: Year 3
• Spirited Heart Deluxe
• Square's Route
• Star Ruler
• Star Wolves
• Starsphere
• Stellar Interface
• Stoirs VR
• STRIDER
• Stunt Hill
• Swamp Jump
• Switch Galaxy Ultra
• Sword of the Stars Complete Collection
• Terror Time
• The Deed II
• The Deed: Dynasty
• The End of Labyronia: Nerubis
• The God's Chain
• The Joylancer: Legendary Motor Knight
• The King's Crusade - Lionheart
• The Old City: Leviathan
• The Void
• Theatre of War 2: Africa 1943
• Theatre of War: 3 - Korea
• Theatre of War: Centauro
• Theatre of War: Kursk + Caen
• Toby: The Secret Mine
• Toy Tinker Simulator
• Trainz Simulator 12
• Trainz Simulator 12 - Coronation Scot DLC
• TRAUMA
• Tropico 3
• Trulon: The Shadow Engine
• Turba
• Twin Sector
• UFO Afterlight
• Undefeated
• Uplink
• Us and them
• Valnir Rok
• Vault Cracker
• Vegas: Make It Big
• Velvet Assassin
• Vessel
• Warrior Kings
• Warriors' Wrath
• Wasteland Angel
• Weable
• When Our Journey Ends - A Visual Novel
• Whispering Willows
• Windforge
• Windscape
• Windstorm: Start of a Great Friendship
• Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition
• Zombie Pirates
• Zombie Shooter

Wishlist :
Various offers welcome, i'll browse lists, and most wanted are :
Currently or recently bundled : * ABRISS * Achilles: Legends Untold * AFTERLIFE: KILLING DEATH * ALTF4 * Blade of Darkness * Boneraiser Minions * Brotato * CARRION * Deadlink * Dome Keeper * Dread Delusion * Gearshifters * Gone Viral * GRAVEN * HYPER DEMON * Impaler * Just King * LEGO® Star Wars™: The Skywalker Saga * Loot River * Mago * Prince of Persia (various) * Project Warlock II * Rogue: Genesia * Shantae and the Seven Sirens * The Citadel * Ultratron * ULTRAKILL * Windbound * Zombieland: Double Tap - Road Trip
Bigger or rarer (for a big load of my games) : * Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord * RESIDENT EVIL Village * Hades * Cyberpunk 2077 * ELDEN RING * A Plague Tale: Requiem * Cuphead * GTFO * Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy * Noita * Choo-Choo Charles * Garry's Mod * Prototype 1 and 2 * Bleak Faith: Forsaken
DLCs : * The Surge The Good, the Bad and the Augmented DLC * The Surge 2 - Season Pass * Vermintide 2 DLCs : Warrior Priest Career - Sister of the Thorn * Borderlands 3 Season Pass 2 * Mortal Shell: The Virtuous Cycle * Rocksmith DLCs * Lego Season Passes (DC Super Villains - Jurassic World - Marvel Super Heroes - Movie - Hobbit - Incredibles - Worlds) * Dead by Daylight DLCs (A Nightmare on Elm Street - Ash vs Evil Dead - Chains of Hate - Charity Case - Curtain Call - Ghost Face - Headcase - LEATHERFACE - Resident Evil Chapter - Silent Hill Chapter - Stranger Things Chapter - The Bloodstained Sack - The Halloween Chapter - The Saw Chapter - Sadako Rising Chapter - Forged in Fog - Resident Evil: PROJECT W)
See here for the rest of my wishlist.
Compare2Steam
+ offers, i'll browse lists, and eventually take Paypal, but i'm more interested in Paypal & TF2, but i'm more interested in games trades

So this story comes from yesterday's session involving me (DM) and the solo PC (yes it's a solo campaign). This is based in the same story with the same character that I talked about in this reddit post a while back:
https://www.reddit.com/DnD/comments/wpbzcl/a_pc_moment_that_made_me_proud/
There's not much relation per se apart from the world and characters ofc. Now let me tell of an intense close call that happened in yesterday's session. (TL:DR at the bottom)
So it's a long time in game since the interaction in the last reddit post. The PC, Variel, is now level 10 (5 Fiend Warlock / 5 Mastermind Rogue). After being attacked by a constant threat of a dangerous cult that took her brother, she leaves the city of Hazelron to begin heading eastward to reach her hometown of Devana as there's been many clues that lead to the cult and its leaders reside within its grounds. To get there, she must first ride through a thick forest of redwood trees and a mountain range. The forest journey is smooth sailing with her new Phantom Steed dubbed Lady Marshmallow (google that name and you'll see her glory). However, due to the difficult, rocky terrain of the mountains, she must travel slower in order to be safe.
I have Variel roll 2d6 for some random encounters.
Encounter 1 - On one of the nights, as she begins setting up camp, she notices there's a large boulder on the road behind that wasn't there before and quickly realizes it's flesh and not rock. Variel quickly hides and sees two large ogres arrive at her camp. The ogres are annoyed that their food is gone and both sit down saddened as their bellies rumble. They talk in broken Common about how hungry they always are and one suggests that they go down into the woods as there's plenty of food there to which the other immediately explains how unsafe that is due to too many dangers. Variel is forced to stay put for an hour straight listening before the two ogres see wolves in the distance and take chase in the instant. Variel sets up a Tiny Hut for protection and avoids any combat that could've happened.
Pretty casual right? No intensity there when you avoid it with ease. Then came the 2nd encounter.....
Encounter 2 - A few days later, still in the mountains, PC comes across tracks of a large beast (low Nature check to see what it is) with splodges of dried blood that lead up the mountains to a small outcropping about 150-200ft up. Variel, wanting to get to Devana as soon as possible, ignores this as time is of the essence. I have her roll for Lady Marshmallow's stealth to see how quiet she can be. She rolls a total of 16 (DC was 18). A part of the rocky road collapses down the mountain scaring the steed. A large impact can be heard upon the outcropping....and then another. Emerging out, she saw a large dragon-like head with brown/grey skin akin to the mountainous terrain turn to see her and make chase immediately; this time, instead of hiding, Variel prepared to dodge. Roll Initiative. (Just to clarify, the beast is a wyvern with some more HP as PC can do a decent amount of damage now)
The combat lasted 5 rounds. Variel sent out Eldritch Blast after Eldritch Blast with some hitting and a lot missing. She constantly tries to stealth but on an open, mountainous road, there isn't many places to hide. The wyvern bites and stabs PC with its stinger dealing good damage in return. On round 3, Variel decides to teleport onto the creature's back to try and deal damage directly onto its head and neck. The wyvern, in retaliation, begins to fly high into the sky to try and buck Variel off to which, after she fails to hold on with her 5 Strength, it succeeds. PC falls 120ft instantly taking 40ish damage leaving her with 10ish hp. Variel decides to play dead to trick the wyvern into leaving her alone (rolls a 12 Performance check). The beast crashes down onto the ground and sees through the trick and bites down onto Variel knocking her unconscious and due to the wyvern's multiattack, it strikes with its stinger......dealing 2 failed death saves.
The feelings of panic and fear begin to rise in both of us. This is the first time she's gone down.
I ask her to roll a death save.........10. Just makes it.
I ask her to roll another.........12. Just makes it again.
During this, I asked her for an important memory (good or bad) of her character's past. She chooses when she found her lost brother a couple sessions back. I begin to detail how she is back in the hidden basement and the two embrace. Her brother talks about his scars once more and the two are filled with glee.
Whatever she rolls next determines if she lives or dies. I ask her roll a last death save........19!!!!
As she achieves the 19, I then have brother say something he didn't say during the reunion "Don't worry. You'll find me because you're strong. I know you are." Variel awakes being dragged up the cliffside by the wyvern and quickly Misty Stepped away and managed to sneak away on 1hp.
She walks for hours not being able to find the strength to summon her steed. Eventually, Variel begins making her Tiny Hut spell when she's visited by the leader of the cult she's hunting: Vezzunith. Vezzunith has been helping Variel find the cult as he just wants to live peacefully away from it all but recently, Variel has been disliking the leader. Vezzunith explains how scared he was seeing Variel almost die and that he would've saved her had she gone under. Variel doesn't care. The two begin to argue until Vezzunith lashes out one statement:
"You know what? Go ahead, become a murderer. You talk about your rage so much you might as well listen to it. Go get yourself killed."
With some more words shared, Vezzunith vanishes leaving Variel alone. She goes to sleep but that one statement sticks with her. She dreams about doing exactly that. She dreams of killing everyone who's ever wronged her and after its all done, she begins to giggle...then laugh....then cackle. She watches as the lands around her and Devana wreathe in flames but she doesn't care. All she does is smile. Soon after she awakes the next day and gradually realizes it was all a dream and pushes on saddened by the reveal.
TL:DR - PC almost died for the first time and then had intense chat with close friend now kind of frienemy.
This was such a dramatic session and I loved every ounce of it. It was the first time I as a DM had come close to a PC death during a campaign. Even though it was terrifying as this is a solo game so if she dies, the story could end, it was exhilarating to be a part of. And the intense discussion afterwards? Damn good too. So if you're somehow reading Variel/Ariaki, cheers for another awesome moment and good luck on your journeys.

This is my translation of the episode of Ongaku Bakudan with Miku Kobato and Saiki on May 18, 2023.

• Image
• Video

Cookie is a comedian with the style of the ’80s high school bad boys. His rough language is part of his act.
Related discussions:

• Miku & Saiki on TikTok 20230515 (Interview after shooting of TV program 音楽爆弾 (Ongaku-Bakudan, On-Baku) to be aired on May 17th)
• Another TV Show appearance?

​

• Hosts: Cookie, Rossy (Yasei Bakudan)
• Guests: Miku Kobato, Saiki (Band-Maid)

00:07 Narrator: Ongaku Bakudan.
00:08 Narrator: Tonight’s guest is a hard rock band in maid outfits that attracts the world’s attention, Band-Maid!
00:16 Narrator: They have been doing solo concerts in over 10 countries mainly in Europe and the US! Their US tour last year drew in more than 20,000 people!
00:30 Narrator: This year, they are going to be the first Japanese female musicians to perform at Lollapalooza, one of the largest outdoor festivals in the world!
00:40 Narrator: The global band active not only in Japan but also overseas makes their first appearance in Ongaku Bakudan!
00:55 Rossy: So, please welcome today’s guests, Band-Maid!
00:58 Cookie: Wow! Thank you for coming!
01:00 Rossy: Thank you very much for coming!
01:01 Kobato: Thank you for inviting, po.
01:03 Kobato: Thank you for inviting, po!
01:04 Rossy: Oh, you say “po”, right? You’re saying “po, po”, though.
01:08 Cookie: It comes out like “po, po, po, po”? “Po” comes out naturally?
01:10 Kobato: It comes out naturally, po.
01:10 Cookie: Uh-huh.
01:11 Rossy: Is that the pigeon’s “po” because you are Kobato-san? [Note: “Kobato” means “small pigeon” and “po” means the pigeon’s “coo”.]
01:13 Kobato: Oh, that’s right, po. I’m Miku Kobato, so I’m half-small-pigeon half-human, po.
01:18 Cookie: Because of the merger with the pigeon?
01:19 Kobato: Oh, you’re right, po.
01:20 Cookie: Are you the only one in Band-Maid who’s mixed with a pigeon?
01:23 Kobato: Oh, I’m the only one, po.
01:23 Saiki: Oh, she’s the only one.
01:24 Cookie: Is anyone else mixed with anything? I mean the other members.
01:26 Saiki: Oh…
01:27 Kobato: They are not mixed, po.
01:28 Saiki: This… this is our limit.
01:29 Cookie: What do you mean by your limit?
01:30 Kobato: (laughs)
01:31 Cookie: Does it come out at your limit?
01:31 Saiki: No… no more of this kind…
01:33 Cookie: (laughs)
01:34 Rossy: That would be confusing.
01:35 Cookie: Uh-huh.
[Highlights]
01:38 Cookie: Po po po po po po po po po po po po…
01:39 Cookie: Po po po po po po po po po, po po po po po…
01:40 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
01:41 Narrator: Cookie is infected too!! Today is the Po Po Po Festival!… or not…
01:46 Nesmith: Off stage, she doesn’t say it.
01:48 Cookie: That’s not good.
01:49 Narrator: Nesmith of Exile reveals a suspected fabrication of “po po po”!
01:55 [Caption] World rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties!
01:55 Narrator: And Osaka has restaurants that world rockstars loved!
02:00 [Caption] Reporter: Ioka of the world
02:00 Narrator: The reporter is that guy who knows the world!
02:05 Kobato: He doesn’t say a single word, po.
02:07 Cookie: Once his wife came.
02:10 [Opening] Ongaku Bakudan
02:13 Rossy: Now, we’d like to dive deeper into Band-Maid… po!
02:18 Kobato: Po!
02:19 Cookie: Yes, thank you for your support.
02:19 Saiki: Thank you so much.
02:19 Kobato: Thank you for your support, po.
02:20 Rossy: Here is the Bakudan Board.
02:21 Cookie: Oh, po po po po po po po po, po.
02:23 Rossy: This is great. Let’s see what it’s going to be like.
02:23 [Board] Let’s take a listen to their signature song, po! A tip-off from Exile, po! World rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties, po! The world champion and Jun-ichi Sumi, po! Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi-san, waiting for you, po! Next week is Mayonaka Ichiba, po!
02:26 Cookie: Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi-san… is waiting for you, po.
02:28 Kobato: Is he waiting for us, po?
02:29 Rossy: We made him an offer.
02:30 Cookie: This is a little too much…
02:31 Kobato: Is that true, po? (laughs)
02:32 Rossy: [Note: the lower 3 items] Honestly, these below here are, um, our directors and writers’ jokes.
02:36 Kobato: Oh.
02:36 Saiki: Oh (laughs), I see.
02:38 Rossy: These are, po, jokes.
02:39 Saiki: OK, I see.
02:39 Kobato: Are they jokes, po?
02:39 Rossy: Sorry, up to here.
02:42 Narrator: Our staff’s joking aside, first of all, let’s take a listen to Band-Maid’s signature song, po!
(Thrill)
02:53 Cookie: Are maids only in Japan?
02:54 Kobato: Well, maids like this are part of Japanese culture…
02:57 Cookie: Like… like lolita fashion?
02:58 Kobato: Oh, yes, po.
02:59 Cookie: Uh-huh, Japanese culture. Uh-huh.
03:02 Narrator: Over 170 million views on YouTube! Their most popular song is this, Thrill!
03:12 Narrator: Band-Maid are highly acclaimed overseas, and the comments section is like this!
03:19 Cookie: Oh, wow, awesome!
03:20 Kobato: Yes, it’s awesome, po.
03:21 Rossy: I can’t read them at all. Do you know those languages?
03:23 Kobato: No, I mean, there are so many comments in languages I don’t know, po.
03:26 Rossy: It’s like a foreign country.
03:26 Cookie: Aha, I get it. It’s from Mexico.
03:28 Kobato: Not only in English.
03:29 Rossy: Great.
03:36 Cookie: Oh? You have a lot of vocalists.
03:38 Kobato: Oh, us two, po.
03:39 Cookie: Oh, just two. Oh, the two of you.
03:40 Kobato: Well, it was quite a long time ago, so…
03:42 Saiki: It was long ago.
03:43 Kobato: … um… our faces look a little different, po, right?
03:46 Cookie: (laughs)
03:49 Rossy: How long ago was this?
03:50 Saiki: It was… 8 years…
03:50 Kobato: It was… about 8 years ago…
03:54 Rossy: Oh, it was quite a long time ago.
03:55 Saiki: Yes.
03:56 Saiki: That’s the song that started it all.
03:58 Cookie: Uh-huh, so that’s where it all started.
04:00 Kobato: Yes, exactly, po.
04:01 Rossy: Did you say “po, po” at that time?
04:03 Kobato: At that time, our manager didn’t allow me to do so, po.
04:06 Cookie: Uh-huh, even though you wanted.
04:07 Kobato: In the beginning, um, I said it, po, but he told me to really stop it, so I stopped… I was forced to stop it for some time, po.
04:14 Rossy: But now they love it all over the world, right?
04:16 Kobato: Yes, po, then our managers changed…
04:19 Cookie: “Hooray!” Like “Hooray!”
04:20 Kobato: Like “I will say it from now on, po”.
04:21 Cookie: Liberation of self.
04:22 Kobato: I liberated myself, po.
04:23 Rossy: Wow, that’s amazing.
04:23 Kobato: (laughs)
04:24 Cookie: So, um, I don’t have much to do with maids…
04:27 Kobato: (laughs) That must be so, po.
04:28 Cookie: I’ve seen them only in porns.
04:29 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
04:31 Kobato: Rather, you have something to do with them there, po, right?
04:32 Saiki: Your recognition, though.
04:33 Cookie: How far… I’m wondering how far I can talk.
04:34 Kobato: Uh-huh, I see, po, I see, po.
04:35 Saiki: (laughs)
04:36 Rossy: How many years have passed since your formation?
04:38 Kobato: We will have our 10th anniversary this year, po.
04:39 Cookie: Oh, congratulations (applause).
04:40 Rossy: Uh-huh, it’s just around the corner.
04:40 Saiki: Thank you so much.
04:41 Kobato: Thank you very much, po.
04:43 Rossy: How did you all meet?
04:45 Kobato: How we met is this. I, Kobato, originally used to work part-time at maid cafés, po, in reality.
04:48 Rossy: Oh, really? I see.
04:50 Kobato: I used to work also in Akihabara, po, but I also liked bands at the same time, so I ended up forming a band called Band-Maid by combining the two things, and I started to gather other members, po.
05:02 Rossy: Did you take applications?
05:04 Kobato: Um, our guitarist, Kanami-chan, posted cover videos and the like, um, on YouTube, and I found her there, po.
05:12 Cookie: Uh-huh.
05:13 Kobato: Then, Kanami invited our drummer Akane…
05:16 Cookie: Oh, I see.
05:17 Kobato: Then, our drummer Akane invited our bassist Misa, who went to the same music school as her…
05:23 Cookie: Uh-huh.
05:25 Kobato: When the four of us started like “All right, let’s go, po”, we were like “It sounds a little too bright with just Kobato’s voice, po”…
05:30 Cookie: Uh-huh, your voice was too pop.
05:31 Kobato: That’s right, po. I thought “I want a cooler voice too”, and then in our company, um, they found Sai-chan, who was alone doing nothing at all… (laughs)
05:39 Cookie: It’s not that she did nothing at all, right?
05:39 Rossy: No kidding.
05:40 Saiki: There was something I was doing.
05:41 Cookie: You were like this, you were wandering in the office like this.
05:42 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
05:44 Cookie: You did something then, right?
05:44 Saiki: Yes, I did something.
05:44 Kobato: Just something.
05:45 Saiki: I was working alone (laughs).
05:46 Kobato: By herself (laughs).
05:47 Cookie: Uh-huh, I guess so.
05:49 Cookie: Anyway, going overseas is beyond imagination for us… us from the island tribe who hang out around Lake Biwa.
05:56 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
05:59 Kobato: The video of Thrill you have just watched, was, um, our first MV, po, and about a half year after we released it, we suddenly had a huge increase in access from overseas, po.
06:10 Cookie: What?
06:11 Rossy: Uh-huh.
06:12 Saiki: There was a Facebook page that introduces Japanese pop culture to overseas people, and it was posted there (laughs).
06:20 Cookie: Oh, I see.
06:22 Kobato: No one in our company knew anything about it, po.
06:23 Saiki: No one knew.
06:24 Rossy: Oh, you didn’t know. Such a strange thing happened to you, right?
06:26 Cookie: Like “Look, cute maids are singing cool”…
06:27 Kobato: Oh, that’s right, po.
06:28 Cookie: Someone posted it with a pop and everyone started watching it.
06:30 Kobato: With a bang.
06:31 Saiki: Yes.
06:31 Cookie: Whoa, awesome.
06:32 Kobato: Po.
06:32 Cookie: I’m jealous.
06:34 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
06:36 Cookie: In my case I’m determined to wear only a gakuran [note: old-style Japanese school uniform, typical of the ’80s bad boys]…
06:38 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
06:39 Cookie: But I’ve got no overseas reaction at all (laughs).
06:40 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
06:42 Rossy: How are Japanese gakuran going?
06:44 Cookie: Japanese gakuran are no use.
06:45 Rossy: Let’s go on to the next.
06:46 Kobato: Po!
06:47 Rossy: Next, a tip-off from Exile, po.
06:47 Cookie: You’re awesome, indeed.
06:49 Rossy: This is great. Who among them? Let’s check it out.
06:54 Narrator: A tip-off about Band-Maid is from…
06:56 Rossy: Who?
06:58 Kobato: Po.
06:58 Saiki: (laughs)
07:00 Nesmith: Uh, you two of Yasei Bakudan, and Band-Maid’s, uh, Kobato, and Sai-chan, good evening! I’m Exile Nesmith.
07:05 Cookie: Awesome.
07:06 Rossy: Nesmith-san. Great.
07:07 Kobato: Po.
07:08 Narrator: What a surprise, he is a vocalist-performer of Exile and Exile The Second, Nesmith!
07:16 Narrator: The maid style and the urban guy style might seem opposite at first glance…
07:19 [Caption] There seems to be no connection
07:21 Cookie: I don’t think there’s any connection. What is it?
07:23 Nesmith: Well, Kobato is, uh, from the same hometown of Kumamoto as me…
07:26 Cookie: Ah, that makes sense.
07:28 Nesmith: I met her in Kumamoto before she came to Tokyo, and I was a little shocked like “What? Is there a girl this cute in Kumamoto?” when I saw her… That was my first impression.
07:39 Cookie: Whoa.
07:40 Saiki: (laughs)
07:44 Nesmith: She was thinking of moving to Tokyo, and, um, she was interested in working in the music industry like this, but she didn’t know anyone there, so she couldn’t decide what she should do…
07:57 Nesmith: So I was like “Well, at least I’m there, so why don’t you move there?” (laughs) She was like “OK, I understand, I’ll go to Tokyo” and then she came to Tokyo, and that’s how it all started, kind of.
08:14 [Caption] Without Nesmith, Kobato wouldn’t have become what she is now
08:15 Kobato: Crazy, this scene is crazy. A crazy scene.
08:17 Cookie: What the hell is “Mehhh”? (laughs)
08:21 Saiki: Oh, the “pyon” is used (laughs).
08:22 Cookie: (laughs)
08:24 [Caption] We asked him about “po”
08:32 Nesmith: Well, I also have a kind of music program, and I often have the opportunity to interview the two of them, and, um, Miku Kobato talks like “po po, po po” there, so I think “Oh, she’s so consistent”… (laughs)
08:50 Saiki: “Consistent” (laughs).
08:51 Cookie: What does “consistent” mean?
08:52 Nesmith: There are a lot of moments when I think “Awesome, she’s a pro”.
08:57 Nesmith: Off stage… off stage, she doesn’t say it.
09:01 Cookie: That’s not good.
09:02 Kobato: (laughs)
09:03 Cookie: This is bad news.
09:03 Nesmith: She sometimes talks naturally in the Kumamoto dialect.
09:09 Nesmith: She sometimes says “Nan’ya” or “Nannanbai” (laughs).
09:13 Kobato: That’s what Nes-san says, po.
09:15 Nesmith: She’s like that, quite opposite of “po” (laughs).
09:20 Cookie: [Note: I can’t hear well]
09:23 Nesmith: Uh, you two of Yasei Bakudan, if there’s any chance, uh, please kindly invite me to your show Ongaku Bakudan!
09:30 Cookie: Your fee is too high (laughs).
09:31 Nesmith: Well then, that’s all from Exile Nesmith, po!
09:34 Cookie: Po.
09:34 Nesmith: Thank you very much, po!
09:35 Cookie: Thanks a lot!
09:36 Rossy: Great.
09:37 Kobato: Didn’t he say only insane things just now?
09:38 Rossy: Yes, because it’s a tip-off, you know.
09:40 Saiki: It was really a tip-off.
09:41 Saiki: No, she does say it backstage…
09:45 Kobato: I’ll get lectured, po (laughs), if I say it.
09:47 Saiki: You’ll hate it if she says it outside, you know.
09:49 Kobato: (laughs)
09:50 Rossy: Of course.
09:50 Cookie: That makes sense.
09:51 Saiki: Yeah.
09:52 Kobato: I get lectured, po, so often.
09:53 Saiki: You know, you’ll absolutely look at her like “Hmm?”
09:55 Rossy: Yeah, yeah, you’ll look at her.
09:57 Saiki: So, um, I don’t want them to think we’re in the same group (laughs).
10:03 Kobato: When I say “po” in front of Nes-san, he laughs sooo much, po.
10:06 Cookie: Uh-huh, also because you’re from the same hometown.
10:08 Kobato: He teases me a lot about it…
10:09 Cookie: So, uh, can you do this? Um, for example, instead of putting “po” here and there seriously, what if you said “po po po po po po po po po, po po po po po” beforehand…
10:16 Kobato: Oh, that might have been better, po.
10:18 Cookie: Like “Just a moment, Nesmith-san, po po po po po po po po po po po po”…
10:20 Kobato: Po po po po (laughs).
10:22 Kobato: Po-pooling!
10:23 Saiki: What… (laughs)
10:23 Cookie: Yeah, po-pooling, po-pooling.
10:23 Kobato: Aha, po-pooling! I see, po. I’ll do it from next time on, po.
10:25 Saiki: Like a withdrawal symptom from it (laughs).
10:26 Cookie: If you say so, um, if you do it, I think he will be like “Whoa!”
10:29 Kobato: Good point.
10:30 Rossy: All right, let’s go on to the next.
10:31 Kobato: Yes.
10:31 Rossy: The next one is this.
10:31 Kobato: Po.
10:31 Rossy: World rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties, po. I wonder what this is.
10:35 Kobato: Po.
10:36 Cookie: Ah. But, you know, aren’t you guys pretty particular about your food? Are you OK with this? Do you eat ordinary food, like, katsudon?
10:42 Kobato: Oh, yes, po, we eat it, po. Oh, the day before recording, you eat a katsudon…
10:45 Saiki: I eat a katsudon the day before.
10:47 Cookie: No, why, that’s lame.
10:49 Saiki: To win. [Note: Japanese people wish good luck with the pun of katsudon and “katsu” (“to win”).]
10:50 Cookie: That’s exactly why it’s lame!
10:51 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
10:51 Cookie: It’s freaking lame.
10:52 Rossy: You dare to do it.
10:53 Saiki: And, also, I eat udon on the day of recording.
10:56 Cookie: What for?
10:56 Rossy: Uh-huh.
10:57 Saiki: Um, to wish my voice will be elastic and long.
10:59 Kobato: (laughs)
11:00 Rossy: What, no one does such a thing (laughs).
11:01 Cookie: That’s freaking lame, right?
11:02 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
11:03 Cookie: Don’t use your low-pitched voice to slowly say a lame thing.
11:04 Saiki: Wishing good luck… I like wishing good luck.
11:10 Narrator: Band-Maid, active around the world, should definitely know about world rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties we introduce now, in order to keep spreading their wings to the world!
11:13 Cookie: Wow, awesome.
11:23 Narrator: Our reporter is…
11:25 Cookie: Oh? It’s the WBC.
11:26 Kobato: I see, po.
11:28 Ioka: Hello, Yasei Bakudan and Band-Maid. I’m Hiroki Ioka. Nice to meet you.
11:34 Saiki: Oh?
11:35 Rossy: Hold on.
11:35 Kobato: Does he pronounce it right, po?
11:36 Cookie: No, he doesn’t.
11:37 Kobato: (laughs)
11:38 Narrator: A man who knows the world just like Band-Maid. Chairman Ioka!
11:42 Cookie: I… I want subtitles for all his words.
11:46 Narrator: A former WBC minimumweight world champion and former WBA light-flyweight world champion, and now the chairman of Ioka Boxing Gym!
11:47 Cookie: Awesome jabs. He was a strong champion.
11:50 Kobato: Awesome, po.
11:56 Narrator: Now, let’s go!
11:57 Saiki: Outside?! (laughs)
11:59 Ioka: “Ioka the Man goes around the corner”.
12:01 Kobato: She was weirded out a little, po.
12:03 Cookie: (laughs)
12:04 Narrator: The first one is a taiyaki shop near Nakazakicho Station.
12:07 Cookie: Taiyaki.
12:07 Narrator: Which rockstar of the world visited here?!
12:11 [Caption] Osaka Naniwaya, Nakazaki, Kita, Osaka
12:11 Ioka: Uh, hello. I’m I… Ioka.
12:13 Taiyaki cook: Hello.
12:13 Cookie: “I’m I… Ioka”.
12:14 Taiyaki cook: Wow, your belt is great.
12:15 Ioka: I just put my champion belt on.
12:17 Taiyaki cook: They have been active at the forefront since the ’80s…
12:21 Ioka: OK.
12:22 Taiyaki cook: A five-piece group.
12:24 Ioka: A five-piece group?
12:25 Taiyaki cook: Yes. Who do you think they are?
12:27 Ioka: Godiego.
12:28 Cookie: He’s so fast.
12:29 Taiyaki cook: They are Americans.
12:31 Ioka: America?
12:31 Saiki: Oh, Americans.
12:32 Taiyaki cook: Armageddon… made them famous.
12:35 Ioka: Ultraman.
12:37 Cookie: This is hopeless.
12:38 Ioka: Wrong?
12:39 Taiyaki cook: They are Something-Smith. Who are they?
12:40 Cookie: Name Americans (laughs).
12:42 Cookie: Oh, great.
12:42 Ioka: Jun-ichi Sumi [note: an announcer in Osaka].
12:44 Cookie: So, why Sumi-san?
12:45 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
12:45 Taiyaki cook: That was a quick answer.
12:47 Ioka: Wrong?
12:48 Taiyaki cook: That’s a wrong answer.
12:50 Narrator: Chairman, you seem a little dizzy from a punch in the past.
12:53 Cookie: Hey, don’t say such a thing (laughs).
12:55 Ioka: Do you have a picture or something?
12:56 Taiyaki cook: Oh, yes, I do.
12:56 [Caption] The correct answer is
12:57 Taiyaki cook: I have a picture on display.
13:00 Ioka: OK.
13:00 Taiyaki cook: The correct answer is Aerosmith.
13:03 Ioka: Oh, Aerosmith?
13:05 [Caption] Steven Tyler
13:05 Kobato: He has such a tiny face, po, right?
13:07 Cookie: I didn’t know his face is that tiny. He looks almost like Naoko Ken [note: a female Japanese singer in the ’80s].
13:10 Kobato: (laughs)
13:11 Taiyaki cook: They were at a concert venue in Osaka, near the South Port, and asked me to bake, so I brought this whole taiyaki machine there and cooked between the dressing room and the stage like catering service.
13:24 Ioka: Wasn’t that hard work?
13:26 Taiyaki cook: Yes, it was. There were Aerosmith and their staff, over 200 people in total.
13:30 Ioka: Uh-huh.
13:31 Taiyaki cook: So, um, Steven Tyler-san loves taiyaki so much that he ate one before going on stage, and ate another one after coming back from the stage all sweaty.
13:32 Kobato: Oh, awesome, po. He’s pinching the tail, po.
13:42 Ioka: Uh-huh.
13:43 Taiyaki cook: And he was going back to the US right after that, so thankfully he took ten of them with him.
13:47 Ioka: Uh-huh.
13:48 Taiyaki cook: Well, um, it looks like they flew on their private jet…
13:50 Ioka: A private jet?!
13:51 Taiyaki cook: Yes.
13:52 Ioka: That’s awesome.
13:52 Taiyaki cook: I guess he ate taiyaki again on the flight.
13:54 Ioka: Oh, of course, I’m sure he ate it like “I’m sooo hungry”.
13:59 Cookie: There’s no way he said so.
14:00 Saiki: (laughs)
14:02 [Caption] Taiyaki 200 yen
14:02 Ioka: So, now I’ll have a taiyaki Aerosmith had.
14:05 Rossy: Looks delicious.
14:07 Saiki: Crispy?
14:10 Ioka: Mmm, delicious.
14:13 Saiki: Really?
14:13 Ioka: It’s mildly sweet, or rather, it’s not too sugary, and it’s easy to eat, so I would eat 3 or 4 of them. It’s really like that.
14:23 Ioka: I’m on a diet for a while so I can’t eat a lot, but if I weren’t, I could probably eat about 10 of them.
14:28 Saiki, Kobato: Wow.
14:29 Ioka: 8… I could eat about 8 of them. It’s a piece of cake to eat 8 of them.
14:32 Cookie: 8 pieces.
14:34 Kobato: 2 pieces are gone, po (laughs).
14:35 Staff: To be honest, how many pieces do you think you can eat if you try?
14:38 Ioka: 9 pieces.
14:39 Kobato: (laughs) Hold on!
14:41 Ioka: “Ioka the Man goes around the corner”.
14:45 Narrator: The second one is an okonomiyaki shop in Grand Front Osaka.
14:46 Rossy: He’s in a great place. Is he all right?
14:50 Narrator: The world rockstars who visited here are…
14:51 [Caption] Omoni Grand Front Osaka, Ofukacho, Kita, Osaka
14:55 Okonomiyaki cook: Something and Something.
14:58 Cookie: What?
14:58 Kobato: Aha.
14:59 Ioka: “And”?
15:00 Okonomiyaki cook: “And”.
15:00 Ioka: “And” reminds me of Tadao Ando-san.
15:03 Kobato: No (laughs). It’s in the middle, po.
15:03 Okonomiyaki cook: Bzzt.
15:05 Okonomiyaki cook: “And” is in the middle, OK?
15:06 Ioka: Uh-huh, in the middle.
15:08 Okonomiyaki cook: Something and Something.
15:10 Ioka: Uh-huh.
15:13 Ioka: Uh, Highheel & Momoko.
15:16 Okonomiyaki cook: She’s not a rock band, OK?
15:17 Cookie: No, no, she’s Highheel Momoko [note: a Japanese comedian].
15:17 Ioka: Is that wrong?
15:18 Okonomiyaki cook: She’s not a rock band.
15:20 Okonomiyaki cook: They came to Japan in 2017, to perform in Osaka, at Kyocera Dome.
15:30 Ioka: So they did a concert there and came here, right?
15:32 Okonomiyaki cook: Yeah, exactly.
15:34 Narrator: Chairman Ioka is about to be knocked out! Miku Kobato-san, we have no choice but to ask you to answer in place of him!
15:42 Kobato: I got it this time, po. Guns N’ Roses.
15:46 Cookie: Wow.
15:47 Kobato: Po.
15:49 Kobato: He goes on and on. Pretty intense.
15:53 Cookie: After finishing it, what the hell is this?
15:54 Kobato: (laughs)
15:54 Okonomiyaki cook: The correct answer is Guns N’ Roses’ Axl Rose-san.
16:02 Ioka: Oh. Axl Rose-san.
16:03 Okonomiyaki cook: Did you get it?
16:04 Ioka: Yes.
16:04 Okonomiyaki cook: Did you get it?
16:06 Narrator: The correct answer is Guns N’ Roses’ Axl Rose!
16:10 Kobato: I knew, po.
16:11 Narrator: He enjoyed okonomiyaki and yakisoba to the fullest with his wife and a few staff members.
16:16 [Caption] Signature Omoni-yaki (pork, squid, shrimp, scallop, egg) 1,500 yen
16:16 Narrator: He seems to have liked it so much that his staff took the same dish to the concert venue the next day!
16:21 [Caption] Special Champon (beef tendon, kimchi, green onion, cabbage) 2,000 yen
16:21 Cookie: Looks yummy.
16:22 Saiki: Looks delicious.
16:23 Kobato: Wow, it looks delicious, po, this champon.
16:25 Ioka: Mmm! It’s soft and delicious!
16:30 Ioka: This is really yummy.
16:32 Okonomiyaki cook: We use almost no flour in it.
16:34 Cookie: Uh-huh.
16:35 Kobato: Uh-huh.
16:35 Okonomiyaki cook: With a lot of cabbage.
16:36 Ioka: This cabbage.
16:37 Okonomiyaki cook: Yes, it is. Also, you can’t have this yakisoba anywhere else, absolutely.
16:43 Okonomiyaki cook: This is a rare one with both udon and soba.
16:46 Ioka: Oh, you’re right.
16:46 Kobato: Really? Oh, right.
16:47 Okonomiyaki cook: Yes, it is.
16:48 Staff: Can I ask you to do a food report by comparing it to boxing moves?
16:49 Cookie: Oh, that’s why it’s named champon. [Note: “champon” means “mixed together”.]
16:50 Kobato: Oh, I see, po!
16:51 Ioka: Yes.
16:53 Ioka: Uh, the lef… the left is very important… the most important thing, in boxing. There’s a saying that “He who rules with his left rules the world”.
17:01 Ioka: So, a left jab, a left uppercut, a left hook, three in a row, knocked you out.
17:07 Okonomiyaki cook: …
17:08 Saiki: (laughs)
17:08 Ioka: It’s delicious.
17:09 Cookie: This is insane.
17:12 Kobato: This is insane, po.
17:13 Ioka: Ioka the Man. Of this report, I have no regrets! [Note: a reference to Raoh.]
17:19 Cookie: Of course you have no regrets in this.
17:19 Narrator: The last one is this fashionable ramen shop.
17:22 Cookie: “Ramen War”.
17:23 Kobato: Oh, this is a ramen shop, po.
17:24 [Caption] Ramen Daisenso Senba-Shinsaibashi, Minami-Kyuhojimachi, Chuo, Osaka
17:24 Ioka: This is such a cozy shop. It doesn’t look like a ramen shop, right?
17:25 Cookie: Oh, is it like this?
17:28 Ioka: Right? What’s this?
17:29 Emi Ioka: It’s so fashionable. Kind of American, in the New York style?
17:31 Cookie: Don’t know who she is.
17:33 Emi Ioka: Um, I’m Ioka’s wife. I’m Emi.
17:35 Cookie: Oh, is she?!
17:35 Kobato: His wife!
17:37 Ioka: Yes, today is her first time shooting.
17:39 Ramen cook: Yes.
17:39 Emi Ioka: Um, I’ve heard a rockstar visited this shop frequently.
17:42 Cookie: His wife keeps the show going.
17:43 Saiki: He suddenly stoppped talking!
17:44 Kobato: Seriously, po?
17:44 Cookie: So his wife is his coach.
17:45 Ramen cook: Yes. Bruno Mars-san visited here.
17:47 Saiki: Whoa?!
17:49 Emi Ioka: Bruno Mars. Awesome.
17:49 [Caption] He visited here at the time of his shows at Kyocera Dome Osaka in October last year
17:52 Emi Ioka: That’s wonderful.
17:54 Cookie: Ioka is silent (laughs).
17:56 Kobato: He doesn’t say a single word, po.
17:58 Cookie: Once his wife came (laughs).
17:59 Kobato: Yeah.
18:00 Ramen cook: I think he performed for 3 days, and he visited us 4 times or so.
18:05 Emi Ioka: What?
18:06 Saiki: 4 times?
18:07 Kobato: Awesome, po.
18:08 Ramen cook: There was even a day when he visited us in the morning and again in the evening.
18:10 Kobato: Oh?!
18:10 Saiki: Whoa?!
18:11 Rossy: Great.
18:12 Ramen cook: I guess he visited us really just by chance, but when I saw people waiting in line first thing in the morning, I was like “Oh? There’s a foreigner waiting in line”.
18:19 Cookie: Whoa?!
18:20 Emi Ioka: Bruno Mars was waiting in line?
18:22 Kobato: Whoa, that’s awesome, po!
18:23 Rossy: Great.
18:24 Saiki: Awesome.
18:25 Ramen cook: He waited in line all 4 times.
18:26 Saiki: What?!
18:27 Ramen cook: Bruno Mars-san had a ramen named “Pistol”…
18:32 Kobato: “Pistol”?
18:32 Ramen cook: We named it so because we can serve it as quickly as a pistol bullet.
18:35 Kobato: Uh-huh.
18:38 [Caption] 3 minutes later
18:41 Rossy: That’s great.
18:42 Cookie: She gets her hips in properly.
18:43 Saiki: Properly.
18:43 Kobato: Sure. She’s solid, po.
18:44 Emi Ioka: Oh, here it comes! Thank you so much.
18:48 Emi Ioka: Wow, awesome!
18:49 Saiki: Awesome!
18:50 [Caption] Kansai-dashi shoyu ramen Pistol 810 yen
18:50 Emi Ioka: It also has a vibrant appearance.
18:51 Kobato: It looks so beautiful, po.
18:52 Emi Ioka: Great for Instagram! It looks delicious.
19:00 Emi Ioka: It has a clear taste. Not too heavy.
19:05 Ramen cook: We use rare-cooked char siu…
19:06 Emi Ioka: Rare-cooked char siu.
19:06 Ramen cook: Yes. We import it all the way from Italy.
19:09 Emi Ioka: It’s delicious. What did Bruno Mars-san say?
19:14 Ramen cook: He kept saying “Arigato, arigato” in broken Japanese and left, and he also did something like this for us when he was about to leave.
19:23 Ioka: Thank you very much.
19:24 Emi Ioka: Arigato (laughs). [Note: said with an English accent.]
19:28 Emi Ioka: Bruno Mars said that, so I tried to do an impression of him (laughs).
19:33 Narrator: Now we have an urgent announcement!
19:35 Kobato: I wonder what this is, po?
19:36 Narrator: What a surprise, the two of them made their CD debut the other day!
19:39 [Caption] Kawachiya Kikusuimaru & the Iokas, The Hiroki Ioka Story: The Road to Glory, Childhood Chapter now on sale!
19:40 Narrator: Good-bye with the great song, broadcast on TV for the first time!
19:41 Kobato: Duet?!
19:46 Cookie: This is tough to see (laughs).
19:53 Kobato: Does “Childhood Chapter” mean they will continue, po?
19:54 Cookie: They will continue. They will keep on and on like a road movie, probably?
19:57 Kobato: (laughs)
19:57 Saiki: (laughs)
19:58 Cookie: From his childhood.
19:59 Kobato: It’s quite…
20:00 Rossy: How was that? Was there any place you want to visit?
20:01 Cookie: Oh.
20:01 Kobato: Oh, at any rate, I was sooo interested in them all, po.
20:04 Kobato: You know, I really would love to visit there, but we have to go overseas so often that it’s hard to find the time… [Note: this is a joke.]
20:13 Cookie: Just eat f**king taiyaki. Buy them and share them with your mates, without saying “po, po”.
20:19 Cookie: Go buy them if you have time to say “po”.
20:21 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
20:24 Cookie: Who’re you… Stop showing off!!
20:25 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
20:27 Cookie: You little brats, I’m gonna kill you!
20:28 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
20:29 Rossy: Like “the world”.
20:30 Cookie: What the f**k is the world… I don’t care if you say “flying around the world, po”, but I’m doing this in my military uniform! [Note: gakuran looks like a military uniform.]
20:36 Cookie: [Note: I can’t hear well]
20:38 Rossy: No, no, never talk about the world.
20:41 Cookie: So outrageous.
20:42 Rossy: Is there anyone like this?
20:43 Saiki: Whoa, it’s huge! (laughs)
20:44 Rossy: You guys got on his bad side.
20:46 Kobato: Whoa, insane, it’s as huge as a cigar, po.
20:49 Rossy: This is insane.
20:50 Cookie: I don’t care about “po, po”.
20:50 Saiki: This is insane.
20:52 Cookie: Stand up.
20:52 Kobato: What?!
20:53 Rossy: This is insane.
20:53 Kobato: I… I stand up, po?
20:54 Saiki: Do we stand up?
20:54 Cookie: Hey, get your forehead out.
20:55 Saiki: She has such… such…
20:56 Kobato: My forehead? My forehead?
20:57 [Caption] An astonishing fact revealed!?
20:57 Narrator: It’s time for our routine cigarette execution… or not!
21:02 Cookie: (laughs)
21:05 Narrator: What happened to Cookie?! … But before going on to it.
21:13 Narrator: The Blu-ray/DVD of their solo concert at Tokyo Garden Theater held in January this year is now on sale!
21:26 [Caption] Takuto Onuki, Ongaku Bakudan DJ
21:26 Onuki: The audience was like that, even though with masks…
21:28 Kobato: That’s right, po, yeah.
21:28 Onuki: OK.
21:28 Saiki: That’s right. Cheering for the first time in a long time.
21:31 Kobato: It had been a long time.
21:33 Saiki: We were like “We were not alone” (laughs).
21:34 Kobato: Exactly, po. Um, we had the COVID pandemic before then. I, Kobato, tried my best but the audience didn’t cheer back, you know, po.
21:39 Onuki: Exactly, you’re right.
21:40 Kobato: So it was like doing a failed comedy all by myself, po.
21:42 Onuki: (laughs)
21:43 Saiki: A failed comedy (laughs).
21:45 Kobato: Um, it was the first situation in a long time where they cheered back, so that made us…
21:50 Saiki: Tearful.
21:51 Kobato: We were tearful, po.
21:54 Onuki: Well, sorry to interrupt you, but you are on a tour now…
21:56 Kobato: Po.
21:56 Onuki: And you will keep going. Will you come back to Kansai again?
21:58 Kobato: Yes.
21:59 Saiki: Yes.
21:59 Onuki: OK.
21:59 Kobato: We’ll come back here again, po.
22:00 Onuki: You will perform at Namba Hatch too. And your finish line is awesome, right?
22:01 Kobato: Yes.
22:04 Kobato: At Yokohama Arena.
22:05 Onuki: That’s truly amazing!
22:08 Kobato: For example, we have written a song that would be nice to sing along with all of them at Yokohama Arena…
22:16 Onuki: Wow!
22:17 Kobato: It’s going to come true, po, right?
22:19 Saiki: Yeah.
22:20 Onuki: Great. You had the COVID pandemic, but your five-year goal will finally come true…
22:24 Kobato: Yes, po.
22:25 Onuki: I’m impressed you are working on making it come true. Great.
22:31 [Caption] An astonishing fact will be revealed soon, po!
22:32 Rossy: You’re a half-bird half-human.
22:35 Rossy: This is an astonishing fact.
22:36 Cookie: What the hell? What?
(Commercials)
22:39 Cookie: Hey, get your forehead out.
22:40 Saiki: She has such… such…
22:40 Kobato: My forehead? My forehead?
22:41 Saiki: A tiny forehead.
22:41 Kobato: My forehead? But I have no forehead, po.
22:43 Cookie: Show it to me.
22:44 Kobato: I really don’t have a forehead, po (laughs).
22:46 Saiki: (laughs)
22:47 Rossy: You really have no forehead.
22:49 Cookie: Hey, are you Koji Kikkawa?
22:50 Saiki: (laughs)
22:52 Cookie: I’ve never seen such a… tiny forehead. Go home.
22:55 Kobato: I’m relieved, I was saved because I have no forehead, po.
22:57 Saiki: You were saved.
22:57 Cookie: You were saved, right?
22:57 Kobato: I was saved, po.
22:58 Cookie: But you want some forehead, no?
22:59 Kobato: Actually I want some forehead, po.
23:01 Cookie: Do your best. Save money and, um, go to Takasu Clinic [note: a well-known plastic surgeon].
23:03 Saiki: (laughs)
23:03 Kobato: Oh, yes, po. Um, I sometimes… shave it, po.
23:07 Cookie: (laughs)
23:07 Rossy: So you’re doing your best.
23:09 Cookie: Sorry for making you show your weird part.
23:10 Kobato: (laughs)

Hey everyone, as we earnestly approach the next arc of my story when it comes to exploring the world beyond Vitmori's mountain and forest, I find myself having a bit of writer's block. So I hope that while I'm still working things out, you all don't mind several chapters of this sidestory following the future Emperor and his otherworlderly Empress and their first meeting.
First
Ferodias POV / 10 Years Earlier
The morning had come before long, the smell of delectable bug legs wafting through the air as Monty made breakfast during the last watch. Ferodias stirred from his place in the tree he had decided to sleep in, claws flexing and digging into the tree bark as he stretched his flexible feline body and yawned audibly. While he did have his own tent, Ferodias and Brasyl had given up their tents to the noble ladies so they could sleep in relative comfort. Brasyl, for one, didn't mind sleeping in the open air. As for Ferodias, he had long since grown accustomed to rougher living and was not unfamiliar with napping in trees during his youth.
"Mornin Rodi." Monty called up to Ferodias, looking up from his space beside the grill as he worked hard to ensure the meal would taste even better than yesterday's since he had a little more experience with this particular protein. "What's the plan today?" He asked, adding another leg to a growing pile of cooked legs on a wooden plate.
Ferodias let out a deep sigh of delight as he managed to pop his back, finding the relief he was looking for before slumping back against the tree trunk he had been sleeping against. "I... " He started to say before yawning again as his left ear flicked. "Don't know." He said simply, looking down at Monty before scratching the back of his head. "I'm thinking we head back to that farming village that made the commission, sure we'll have to backtrack a little, but between the fact that there are potential bandits in the area and the state those noble ladies are in; we're better off getting a farmer to give us a ride in their cart." He explained as he decided to make his way down to the tree, soon settling down across from Monty around the fire.
Monty nodded intently, grabbing a plate and setting two cooked bug legs on it before passing it over to Ferodias. "Sounds good to me. Maybe I can get a good deal on some crops and other goods before they hit the market stalls in the city." He mentioned with a bit of a smile as he went back to his work. "Besides, I'm sure the people will want to help, even if not out of the kindness of their hearts." Monty said simply, though that earned a curious head tilt from Ferodias as Monty smiled kindly before continuing. "They'll help either because we just saved them a lot of trouble by dealing with those bugs, thus earning their favor, or they'll help us in the hopes that their 'gracious' deeds will earn goodwill with their local lord and maybe get some breaks on taxes or things like that." He explained before shrugging a bit.
"I see..." Ferodias said thoughtfully, having taken the plate and gone about cracking the bug chitin. "Well, either way, it'll be easier on the ladies, and we can rest our own feet while we're at it." He considered before biting off a chunk of bug meat.
Regan was the next to wake up, fully dressed this time as he stretched and grunted before rubbing his eyes. "Morning..." He murmured before taking a seat around the fire with his pack in his lap as he rummaged through it. He then took up a small vial with green liquid after a minute or so of looking. He took a moment to eye the contents before uncorking it and downing the vial, though he immediately shuddered and made a face. "Blech... Last time I cheap out with an herbalist." He muttered miserably.
"What was that?" Ferodias asked between bites while gesturing at the bottle with his tail.
"Some kind of energy drink, the ingredients that they told me were in it sounded right according to my research, but it may be a knock-off, the taste wasn't nearly as good as I heard it was supposed to be." He explained as he smacked his lips, chasing down the energy drink with water from his skin before corking it and putting it away.
"Did you not sleep well or something? Bug nightmares?" Ferodias asked, licking at his teeth as he attempted to free a chunk of meat that was stuck between them. Though he looked genuinely concerned for his friend as he watched Regan.
Regan scoffed at the notion of nightmares, glancing over at Ferodias before flashing a smile. "Nah, nothing like that, I just used more mana than usual. I would prefer a longer rest in order to recuperate better, but we would be better off resting in a town rather than attempting to get a couple of extra hours of shut-eye in the woods." He explained, yawning as he took up a plate of bug legs. "Though I will say, the only good thing about bugs is that they sure do taste good." He mused, digging in with no complaint as he cracked the chitin.
Before long, everyone else started to wake; Brasyl not saying much as he immediately started digging into breakfast. Danica was next, ruffling Monty's hair as she passed him to go into Ferodias and Brasyl's tents, checking in with the ladies. Danica was quick to leave the tent Historietta was staying in. However, she lingered in the tent with the other two ladies. Ferodias could hear quiet sniffling and sobbing coming from the two women, his ears twitching while Danica did her very best to comfort them. His heart did go out to those ladies. They likely haven't really experienced the world, and this was their first bitter taste of it. He hoped that it wouldn't drive them from society altogether, but it wasn't anything he could really control. Well... He could do his best to show them that the world altogether isn't cruel like their kidnappers, but it will be up to them to take the message to heart.
Historietta emerged from the tent she was staying in, looking fairly rested and leagues better than she had last night. Her throat and face still looked discolored from the lingering bruising that had been left over last night. Otherwise, she appeared to be in fair spirits. Ferodias couldn't help but steal a few glances at her. She was wearing his clothes after all, and she certainly wore them better than he ever would. She managed to catch him staring and smiled in response as she walked over to the fire and settled down beside him before looking at Monty as he passed her a plate. "Thank you, sir, I'm grateful for the meal." She said politely, her voice sounding even nicer than the night before if that was possible. She ate well too, casually breaking the chitin and eating without reservation, even the other ladies attempted to be modest and polite with how they ate last night, but it seemed Historietta didn't seem to mind her manners. She caught Ferodias watching her again, flashing a mischievous smile as she wiped her lips with the sleeve of her shirt. "Don't you know it's rude to stare at a lady while she's eating?" She teased almost coyly.
Ferodias could feel his cheeks heat up under his fur, pointedly averting his gaze as the other guy snickered at his expense. "S-sorry, I don't exactly have a lot of experience with noble ladies..." He lied, glancing over at her as his ears waggled. "But I was under the impression that most ladies were rather picky and haughty for the most part, I just... Well... I..." He started stammering a bit, not sure what else to say without accidentally offending her as he anxiously scratched his cheek.
Historietta snickered softly as she sipped at a cup of water before looking over at Ferodias more pointedly. "I've gone through this before, and I have a little experience with survival camping and roughing it. Honestly, I'm doing a lot better right now than I originally planned thanks to you and your merry band." She mentioned, sounding genuinely grateful at that point as she looked at the other guys before looking back to Ferodias. "Try everything once. It is a motto I live by." She said as she worked on cracking the other bug leg on her plate. "It helped me to keep an open mind about many things and allowed me to experience things I would have otherwise missed out on." She explained as she took a bite of bug meat, taking a moment to chew and swallow before continuing. "Of course, moderation is to be exercised with a motto like mine, but it's gone okay so far." She said with a smile.
Ferodias was unsure how to move forward, not used to being on the backfoot around other nobles, let alone noble girls around his age. Yet she displayed a rather unique sense of maturity that threw him off. It was refreshing, and he found himself wanting to get to know her more while he still could at least. He was gonna speak up again when Danica emerged with the other noble ladies; those two looked pretty bad. If he was being honest, they looked exhausted and emotionally drained, among other things. They didn't say much besides their thanks after receiving some food and water. After a while longer, Ferodias spoke up again as he looked among his party and the ladies. "Alright, everyone, we're gonna be backtracking today and heading towards one of the farming villages in the area. From there, we're gonna see about hiring or buying a cart and taking the road back to the city. This way, we can save on energy and avoid more danger than we need to." He explained as he looked among his party. He got nods of approval all around, though it looked like Historietta had something on her mind.
"You're doing this because of us, aren't you?" She asked, sounding almost regretful, if not a little disappointed as she looked at the other ladies. The other ladies averted their gazes but didn't say anything in response as they had no footing to argue with a Count's daughter. Before Ferodias could respond, she looked back at him, gazing intently into his eyes. "I shall reimburse you once we get to the city. It's the least I can do." She said, no room for argument in her voice.
Though Ferodias attempted to argue anyway as he looked over to her. "What? No, there's no need for that. You're in our care. It's only right to make sure you're looked after and supported, especially when you are so far from home." He retorted, his ear flicking as he watched her. "This isn't a job or a request. This is just people helping people." He said more gently as he finished up his breakfast.
Historietta quirked a brow, staring Ferodias down before flashing a smirk as she finished up the last of her food and stood, looking him over when she met his gaze and spoke up. "Noblesse Oblige, it is the duty of those who are well off and in positions of power to behave morally upright and act for the benefit of those in their care, to watch out for those who we are responsible for. You have done me a great service, and you did so freely and at an inconvenience to yourself and those who follow you. It would be a disgrace if I did not compensate you for your services." She stated with a grin before starting to step away. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some flowers to pick." She said simply as she moved away from the group.
The others ate in silence for a little while longer before getting to their feet to start packing up camp now that breakfast was done. However, Ferodias was lost in thought, occasionally glancing in the direction he had last seen Historietta before going back to his packing. He was in awe of her. She had brains, ferocity, compassion, worldliness, and a strong sense of duty. He never heard of the concept of Noblesse Oblige, but it was something he knew he was going to live by if he ever ascended to the throne... No... When he ascended to the throne. By the time she had returned, the camp was packed, and they were ready to go. The walk, in itself, was uneventful. Feeling more along the lines of a simple hike through the woods if it wasn't for the quiet whimpering of sore noble feet. Ferodias felt that the ladies were at least lucky in the sense that they had been kidnapped while they were wearing flats, he couldn't even imagine having to run or even hike in heels like they would have likely worn at the banquet they were coming from. Though he was more impressed by Historietta once again, the noble lady having kept pace with him as he walked at the head of the group.
As a group, they had to stop multiple times for the other two ladies, the whole walk taking much longer than Ferodias would have liked, though they eventually ended up at the village as the sun began its descent into the horizon, smoke stacks rising into the sky as families no doubt got ready for dinner. As they neared the village gate, a militia guard came out to meet the party, the man flashing a smile as he recognized Ferodias and his group. "Ah, good evening adventurers. I take it you're back from the hunt?" He asked pleasantly, though he only just then noticed the ladies, looking curious but waiting for Ferodias to speak.
Ferodias offered a kind smile as his tail curled behind him. "Good evening. Yes, we finished the hunt. Thirty-seven bark bugs have fallen by our hands." He enthused before clearing his throat. "In all actuality, we are here on more serious matters, we found three noble ladies who had been kidnapped and are now escorting them. We are looking to hire anyone with a cart or a wagon willing to go to the city." He said, his ear flicking as he considered something else. "In fact, we are willing to escort a group of wagons with produce and goods for free if you'll allow the ladies to ride along as passengers." He offered, though before the guard could respond, Ferodias reached into his coin pouch in his pack and procured eight silver pieces, and placed them in the guard's hand. "Bring this to your village head. Tell him that we are also looking for room and board for the night if anyone is willing to take us in."
The guard stammered a bit at the overload of information, taking a moment to consider everything Ferodias said as he glanced over at his fellow guard who had been standing at the village gate. He then looked back to Ferodias and his party before lowering his head with a nod. "Very well, ser adventurer, come in and wait, I'll go fetch the village head." He said, taking one curious look at the ladies before allowing them through the gate and hurrying off to find the village head.
"Well, it looks like we'll get to rest with a roof over our heads, at least." Regan said with a bit of a smile, rolling his shoulders before leaning on his staff, looking admittedly worn out.
"Maybe we'll get some fresh vegetables and soft bread too." Monty mentioned as he flashed a grin. "These village mother types always cook the best foods for the soul." He mused cheerfully.
"Oh gods, soft bread." Danica parroted almost dreamily. "Probably freshly baked too." She considered with a smile.
"Alright, alright, enough talking about food. You're making me hungry." Ferodias mused as he looked among the party. Two of the ladies had taken to sitting against some random crates along someone's fence line, looking especially exhausted. But Historietta seemed to be fine overall. If not as tired as Ferodias' group, she caught him watching her again and only offered a smile but didn't say anything while they waited.
Before long, the guard returned with an older rabbitkin man. He appeared to be in his late fifties but stood strong and tall as he smiled at the group. "Welcome back, adventurers. I'm glad to see your safe return and hear of your success. It seems we have business to talk about, but for now, let's get you all inside and fed, I'll have someone draw water for baths, no doubt you all are rather weary and could use some creature comforts." He said as he looked at everyone.
Ferodias smiled before lowering his head out of polite respect and looked up at the village head. "Thank you for your hospitality." He said politely, his left ear flicking contently.
The rabbitkin flashed a charming grin. "Thank you for your work. It's thanks to you that we won't have to worry about our fall crops later this year." He expressed before turning to lead the group.
Historietta came up beside Ferodias and smiled as she nudged him with her elbow. "You handled all that pretty well, good work, mister adventurer." She mused almost playfully before looking after the rabbitkin man and speaking more softly into Ferodias' ears, causing them to waggle at the sensation of her breath. "He's a good man. You can trust his sincerity." She whispered before stepping away and rejoining the other ladies.
Ferodias could feel his face warm up, his heart thumping at the sudden interaction he had with Historietta. He wasn't sure how she knew what she knew or how she even knew that he had some doubts about the village head, but he'll admit it was something that he was vaguely worried about. But if someone of her character said he could trust the village head, then he would let his worries rest. It's strange though, how is it that he could so readily trust the opinion of a girl he barely met a day ago? Maybe Regan was right. Maybe he really is hopelessly in love with that girl already.
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Hi, I've got an honest question. "Am I enough"? It sounds like a question that belongs in "Am I the Asshole" or "Forever Alone" But I'm neither an Incel, nor a Virgin. I know I'm not "Forever Alone"... but sometimes a string of short relationships with a long romantic slump between each relationship, can make it seem like I'm Forever Alone.
So, that's kind of where I'm at. About a year ago, I was dumped. It was a 2 year relationship. It was the longest and most serious relationship I've had, and I still have not gotten over it emotionally. I feel like I'm at a personal existential crossroads. I liked myself, and was content before the breakup, and before this other person came into my life... but now I'm second guessing my lovability. I'm questioning if I should just look for someone that accepts me as I am, Or if I should go against what makes my life comfortable, and livable, in order to fit the mold that my Ex would prefer that I fit into. I'm refraining from posting this in the Breakups subreddit, because I'm not looking for someone to be my cheerleader and tell me everything's going to be okay. I want to know, from others, that are alone, and are looking for relationships... Am I enough for anyone?, as I am? Or do I need to become someone else in order to appeal to a larger pool of individuals?
So I'm going to give a TLDR; version of my pros and cons. Then I'll expand upon those, and you all can tell me if you think any reasonable person could love me as I am... or if I need to cave to my ex's demands in order to win her... or someone like her [because I really liked her, and want someone just like her, but I'm very resistant to the idea that it's okay to butter someone up, and then write up a list of qualities that your perfect partner would exhibit... and try to force someone to be that ideal person under threat of loneliness].
CONS: Divorced in 2014. Don't have kids, don't want kids, had a vasectomy to insure I don't have kids. Don't want to live with a significant other, and do not want to get married.(+) I am 5'10 and I maintain a weight between 165lbs and 190lbs. I do not exercise or pay much attention to my diet until I start to get closer to 200lbs.(+) I do not cook for myself.(+) I enjoy P0rn before bedtime(+) I am an insomniac that used to take prescriptions for sleep, but since legalization, I now use weed for that.(+) I live with roommates. I plan on buying a house someday, but I'm taking one of my roommates with me.(+) I am not poor, but I'm also not so wealthy that I can just throw money at any hardship that comes up without looking at my budget.(+) I have had many hobbies and interests, but as I grow older, I have less time and energy to put towards them. I also have less interest in them.(+) I don't like watching sports or talking about them. I do own a Gaming PC/VR and a bunch of different Consoles, but I don't play them often unless I have someone to play them with.
Pros: I'm very Kind, Patient, and Slow to anger. I'm very honest (but not in the "Don't like what I have to say? I'm just being honest" way that some people consider to be honest. I'm honest in the sense that I loath the act of lying, and I learned at a very young age that I'm just not good at it, so I just don't deal in dishonesty, and I don't get a long with dishonest or disingenuous people). I'm a very chill and "go with the flow" kind of person. One positive thing my ex did acknowledge that they appreciated about me, is that I am "Like a human anti-anxiety pill". I have a calming effect on those around me. I have a good sense of humor, that makes use of puns, is referential, spontaneous, and adaptive to those I'm around. I am a left-leaning democratic socialist, but I'm not "too woke to take a joke". I do not road-rage, nor drive like a maniac. I do not hold grudges, and I am not vindictive. I always prefer to forgive, and forget... or in the most extreme cases of slight against me... I prefer to remove myself from the situation. I also know when I am not needed nor wanted. I have no interest in stalking or bread crumbing someone that has dumped me. I'm not a jealous person. I don't pursue flakey, disloyal, untrustworthy people... and I'm not avoidant when it comes to confrontation... so if I'm with you, it's because you've earned my trust, and someone would have to be doing things that are pretty Sus in order to trigger my unfaithfulness Spidey Senses. [I'm not going to tell you to ditch all your guy friends... and I'm not going to get upset if you mention an Ex. I will get perturbed if I have to be constantly compared to an ex though. I wouldn't consider that jealousy... it's more like "I'm not that person, I am me, please don't bring baggage from your past, into the present"].
I'm a very cuddly person [with my partners]. My love language, in order of importance: Physical Touch (Giving and Receiving: Cuddles, Hugs, Head Scratches, Back Rubs, Sex) Quality Time Spent together (It's tough to engage in physical touch without Quality time) Words of Affirmation (I miss telling my partner that she's the best, she's my favorite etc... and hearing the same in return. These are, of course, earned words of praise. I would not say them if they weren't true. It may take a long time before I am comfortable enough to say them with the satisfaction that I'm being 100% honest).
I enjoy watching movies/tv and listening to music with my partner. I enjoy night drives to nowhere in particular. I enjoy musical events. I enjoy amusement parks, museums, zoos, going to the movies, grabbing a meal. I used to make music, and I'm contemplating getting back into that. (I do own a bunch of Synthesizers, Pedals, an Electric Guitar, and a Bass) I ride Motorcycles. I make silly sound fx with my mouth. I make silly voices and I do impressions.
Okay, so that' the Pros and Cons. I didn't go into musical/movie/tv tastes... but I have a pretty eclectic DVD/CD/VHS/Vinyl Collection as well.
Let's expand upon the footnotes I had up above:
Aversion to Marriage and Co-habitation: (I'm not afraid of commitment, nor monogamy, I just go between cycles of introversion and extroversion, and when I'm in my introverted headspace... I cannot live in the same house as my significant other, and I am of the opinion that there's no reason for two people to get married if they're not going to have kids or move in with eachother).
Living situation: Like I said. I currently live with roommates, in a house. One of the roommates is my best friend, and I've roomed with him before. My plan is for the two of us to take advantage of the cheap rent we currently enjoy until we've saved enough to get a place of her own. The only reason I mention this, is that one of the things my ex wants [in addition to me not owning a dog], it to live in my own place... without roommates. I almost lost my best-friend and roommate for good when I got married [and then divorced] I finally have him as a roommate again and It's basically a deal breaker for me... if I can't let him rent a room in my new place when I buy my own house. I'm never getting married... and my Significant other isn't moving in with me... so it's none of their business who I rent rooms in my house too [as long as it's not some horny party-girl]
Fitness: I'm no stranger to Keto, I'm no stranger to the Gym. I just don't bother with strict diet/exercise regiments unless I hit that 195lb mark and I'm looking to get back down to 165-175. (my ex would prefer I goto the gym regularly, because I'm an investment, and she's convinced I'm going to die if I'm not as strict about my health as she is).
Aversion to Cooking: I am not opposed to the thought of following recipes in order to prepare a romantic meal for myself and my partner... but the bottom line is, that I am not a food person, and it's no ones business what/how I eat when my partner isn't there to enjoy the fruits of my kitchen. If I could take a pill that would quell my hunger & provide all the necessary nutrients to support my health, my sleep pattern, and my mental acuity... I would totally opt for that pill. My ex is convinced that all adults should be cooking most of their meals at home, because it saves money, and is healthier. I call bullshit on this. Cooking for one, is not as economical as cooking for 2 or more people. I also work a job with a 45-60 minute commute each way... and when I get to the office... I'm usually dispatched all over the city. It's impractical for me to prepare meals to bring to work cold. I might not be anywhere near the work fridge when hunger strikes (and when Hunger strikes, I need to eat... immediately, because I get headaches and become faint... due to a combination of Long-Covid, Chronic Fatigue, and weariness from my struggles with insomnia). If I cooked all my own food and went to the GYM as often as she would prefer. I'd be losing an hour to the GYM each weekday, and an hour in meal prep [most likely while I'm hungry to the point of headache and brainfog]... and an hour and 1/2 to my commute. I need those two hours a day for rest and relaxation, and if I ever hope to get back into music/sound production... I'm going to want those two hours.
Weed: I wouldn't say I'm a daily weed user, but I am a nightly weed user. I don't identify as a hippy/stoner, nor do I resonate with the stoner lifestyle. For me, it's medicine and I treat it as such. I do not use it recreationally. I only use it at bedtime).
P0rn Consumption: This has been a major sticking point in every relationship I've had. My previous partner was the 1st person I've been with that didn't initially judge me based on my p0rn consumption. In fact, she was a consumer of it as well, and we would sometimes watch it together, and trade our favorite videos and NSFW memes. It was really nice to be able to share those kinds of things with a partner. I never hid my p0rn use from previous partners... but it was a situation where I mentioned it at the start... they weren't into it... I didn't mention it again... and then several months into the relationship my partners would always get restless and start looking for things about me that they could pick apart and dismantle and once they had nothing else to criticize me about... they would come for the p0rn. In some cases I would Quit consuming, and things would go on a bit longer until the relationship naturally ran its course... and in other cases I would Quit consuming... and my partner would constantly shame me and accuse me of consuming it when I had not... (and then they would run away with someone else... and expose themselves as a total hypocrite like my Ex-wife did).
In my most recent relationship, everything was amazing for 2 years. No shaming, No judgement, mutual enjoyment of eachother's company. We shared everything with each other including kinks and p0rn and movies, and music and hope and dreams. I moved 2.5 hours away from friends and family to live closer to her because it was a long-distance relationship. Then she leaves for a summer internship and when she comes back... she dumps me. She asks for "No contact" so the two of us can emotionally move-on without breadcrumbing eachother. I'm not a desperate stalker, so I obliged. 4 months pass, and I no longer want to live in that City away from my friends and family. I break "no contact" when I see her at the Gym, because I want her to know that I'm leaving town for good... and if the thought of running into me in public has ever given her pause about leaving the house and hanging out around town... she no longer needs to worry because I won't be living in that city any more. This breach of "no contact" ends in a weekend fling between the two of us... and then I proceed with my plans to move back. It's when I arrive back in my home town that I get the email from her with all the bulletpoints that she wants in a perfect mate. She basically insinuates that as long as I continue working towards becoming this hypothetical person that she wants... we can see eachother once a month. but... As I'm struggling to give up porn, and develop an exercise routine, and get back into hobbies, and start reading books, and consider cooking for myself... her friendly txt chats and phone calls become less about enjoying the conversation, and less about having movie/TV show watchparties on the internet... and more about her interrogating me about "What did you do today to improve yourself... what are you doing in your everyday life that indicates you're serious about continuous growth?" And I really started to resent this lifestyle that she wants me to live as a pre-requisite to someday being able to call her my Girlfriend again. Eventually she told me "I'm sick of playing Barb the Builder with you" and my response is "I'm not broken, I never asked you to fix me. Do a cost-benefit analysis of our relationship... if I don't bring you Joy anymore... or if that Joy is outweighed by this obsession with molding me into your Fantasy man... then maybe we should actually go our separate ways." And that's what we did. I haven't talked to her since January... And then... a few weeks ago I get drunken texts from her. She still misses me. She still thinks about me just as much as I think about her. She drunkenly says several times "I wish you would just give up porn so we can be together"... And part of me has been so lonely, for so many months... that I'm honestly considering Quitting p0rn... and then breaking no contact to ask "Remember when you drunkenly said you wanted to buy a house near me, in Phoenix... and move... and you wished I would "just Quit Porn so we could be together???" Is that all it will take to get you back?... or Am I going to have to tick off all the other boxes on your "Ideal man" checklist?
It's been 9 days without porn at this point. I'm trying to see if it's really true that the urge to view p0rn goes away after 3 weeks. But part of me wonders if I should just try my best to emotionally move-on... and find someone that's not an over-achiever, and accepts me as I am. I like being a chill person. I like being a calming influence. I hate taking life so seriously. I don't want to be like her. But I do want to be with her... or with someone that treats me the way she used to before she got it in her head that I'm a broken person that needs to be fixed.
What do I do? Am I an unlovable unambitious p0rn addicted loser who is undeserving of love until I fix myself?... Or am I okay the way I am, and I should just move-on and hold-out for someone that appreciates me just the way I am? Do you know anyone that could love someone like me, as I am now?

Me personally I’m going with a
Large pizza from Hungry Howie’s Half pineapple half cheese garlic herb crust Rice, Beans, Palomilla Cuban steak, and fried plaintains Half chocolate half vanilla cake 6 softly baked cookies Strawberry ice cream McDonalds Fish filet with large fries and honey
What would you be watching?
I’d being watching South Park and Family Guy while dining on this final dinner

Credit to u/bluefishcake for writing the original SSB story and building the sandbox for us to play in.
And a big thanks to the authors and their stories that inspired to get off my ass and put my fingers to keyboard. RandomTinkerer (City Slickers and Hayseeds), Punnynfunny (Denied Operations), CompassWithHat (Top Lasgun), Rhion-618 (Just One Drop), UncleCieling(Going Native), RobotStatic (Far Away), Kazevenikov (The Cryptid Chronicle), Also to the editor # Fan Beta Readers and KLiCkonthat .
As always comments, complaints, and suggestions are welcome.
This is a fair use notice. Any and all aspects of this may be used on and within this subreddit only, with attribution. All other uses are exclusive to the author.
/*******************************/
Nanorix took the news from the advocates in stride, better than Linda. They had spent the night mutually venting at the injustice of the situation while putting away bottles of gin. Max sounded almost broken by the news while Nora the optimist in the family, firmly held to the belief that things would work out. Rufus was, well, Rufus. Intuitively compassionate, which is why he was laying in the front seat of the truck with his head on Linda's lap as they drove up to Flagstaff.
Linda was trying to sleep off her hangover, her eyes closed but not asleep. Alila had been honest that the only reason Garquile was not tied up in this was that he had her direct protection as a territorial governess. Tommy did not have that level of security and without it, he was in more danger than Robert. From what Alila had said, elements in the Interior wanted Robert dead, other interested parties wanted him alive because of his potential. The situation was so bad the Planetary Governess had stepped in and ordered the house arrest of six high-ranking members of the Interior and let it be known that if anything happened to young Mr. Pierce they would die publicly.
Neither Alila nor the planetary governess knew why the Interior wanted Robert dead, she did. After she heard that the pod found the children and what was being done to them. Her lieutenant had completely lost it, she rounded everyone operating the orphanage and lined them against the wall, and had them shot. The Interior had come in and had done what they always did, cleaned up the mess, and protected those who were important and connected. Before the interior got there one of the girls found a large data server and they made copies. There were four full copies still on Earth and one that she knew was off-world, and she had one of them. It had been too dangerous to keep at home so she had setup a remote server that would once a week send out a heartbeat signal. There were major safety measures in place to prevent access.
She had managed to go to Flagstaff for brunch about once a month to establish a pattern of behavior. Those trips with Robert and sometimes Tommy had always been good, nothing special just good days. She and Linda would have brunch and she would trigger a download to her server buried under the barn. When they had spoken with Alila, Max, and Nora, Max had commented that if anybody could stack the deck and pull inside straight now was the time to do it. She did not tell Linda why they had to come, just that she needed to come up and check on something.
She and Linda had a quiet brunch on the patio of the restaurant to allow Rufus to join them. As they ate she triggered the data transfer. The data transfer would take at least thirty minutes to complete, so they would have a nice long brunch and talk about anything but the boys, she even took a couple of selfies of the two of them to cover what she was doing. Rufus camped out under the table but never relaxed, she was not sure if he sensed her unease or something else was going on that she could not see.
They stayed and chit-chatted until Linda finished her third cup of coffee. She did not want the third cup but they needed the extra time to let the data transfer complete, and by that time Linda's hangover had started to subside. The drive home was uneventful, but traffic was horrible due to the festival of colors going on, it was the 4th of July after all.
/*******************************/
Ishani was tired and hungry but had little interest in eating. She and Ensign Tha'xur had been up half the night working to translate the new equations that Robert had created yesterday, with a new understanding of how the translation needed to work. Thoughts of Robert consumed her mind, and she had to fight the urge to look over and watch him, the singular human male. His name seemed to roll off her tongue, lingering from her dreams the previous night as she drifted off to sleep. Those dreams had been far from innocent, filled with exotic and seductive images of him, even in his baggy exercise clothing.
Returning her attention to her food, Ishani shifted uncomfortably. She would need to change her underclothes if she continued dwelling on him like this. Taking another bite of the fruit, nut, and sauce mixture, she tried to enjoy it, but it did little to distract her from watching him. He moved slowly, almost as if dancing, though she couldn't grasp the purpose behind his movements. Ensign Tha'xur's timely arrival saved her from making an obvious fool of herself by staring at a boy nearly two years her junior. It always felt like she was the only one looking.
Ensign Tha'xur sat down with a tray of food and jokingly said, "Ground control to Crewwoman Vevreix, are you awake?" Ishani returned her gaze to her food and responded, "Yes, ma'am, I am awake, just..." Before she could finish her sentence, Ensign Tha'xur interrupted, "Distracted?"
Signing without looking up and absentmindedly playing with her food, Ishani replied, "Yes, ma'am, horribly. It's just... he's just one boy. I have enough common sense to know that there is no way I should even consider... why couldn't he be old, wrinkled, and fat..."
Ensign Tha'xur completed Ishani's thought, saying, "Instead, he's young, fit, and I would even go as far as to say he's attractive in a very unmasculine way, with that wounded, sad boy aura."
Looking up, Ishani was taken aback and asked, "What do you mean 'you could call him attractive'? Are you blind? I mean, he may be a little short, but other than that, he is..." She trailed off, unable to find the right words.
Smiling and taking a bite of her burrito, Ensign Tha'xur replied, "He is desirable, and deep down, I believe you could take away all his pain and sadness... but please don't go there." Shifting into a serious tone, she continued, "I overheard Cmdr Norroe and Lt Cmdr Ashix talking about him the day we arrived. What caught my attention was Cmdr Norroe mentioning his thousand-yard stare that is measured in miles. There are significant parts of his life that we don't have access to because they've been redacted by the interior."
Ishani looked over at Robert, who appeared to have finished his morning workout and was heading towards the mobile kitchen. She murmured, "No one is ever so lost in the deepest of caves that they cannot be found by the beating of their heart. There is always hope and always a way out."
Ensign Tha'xur wiped her face clean of the red sauce that had dripped from her burrito and commented, "You, Crewwoman, are an optimist."
"With all due respect, ma'am, have you looked?" Ishani responded quizzically.
With a wry smile En. Tha'xur replied smoothly "I am technically a married woman and my husband and kho wives are going to be here in three days. I am hoping that my leave request will be honored, we were supposed to go to Tel Aviv for 14 days." Frowning slightly with the last statement.
Ishani gave an understanding smile "Well, that explains why you are not interested. You know, if you want to get the time off then ask for help. What is the worst he can do to say no?"
En. Tha'xur almost laughed at that, "So what should I do ask him over here for you to ogle him and for me to get a chance to go on leave, I do not think he would like that, being that he is here under guard."
Ishani took another bite of her food, ‘alright girl put up or shut up’ she thought to herself, before standing. "Ma'am if you never ask for help you will never get any." This is not a good idea, turning to find Robert who was looking for an open table to eat at. "Robert, can you join us over here, please?" Blessed Nest mother, that sounded so bad she inwardly cringed.
/************************/
Robert had gotten his food-laden tray and was looking for an empty place to sit. It felt a little weird not having a personal shadow always with him. The petty officers had told him last night that he would be given some space and an opportunity to interact with the people here. "Go out, mingle, talk to people, that's a winning idea," he thought sarcastically. Yup, everything was normal again. Alone in a room full of people and completely clueless about how to do the most basic of things, like talking to anybody.
Now, the people he could talk to were a problem. Being the only male and the only human, he received looks. The looks could be categorized into three groups: lust, curiosity, and pity. Dealing with lust was easy; he just chose not to care, and thankfully, they were discreet about it for now. Pity, on the other hand, infuriated him because most of the time, it was fake. Whenever someone expressed their sympathy for all the things he had been through, he wanted to scream. At best, it was a polite social convention, and at worst, it was a selfish and internalized burden of guilt that had nothing to do with him.
Just as he spotted an empty table at the far end, somebody called out his name. "Can you join us over here, please?" Shit, it was Ishani, the one person in the whole damned place who had a very unsettling effect on him. She was the only one here who scared the shit out of him. Taking a breath to collect himself, he acknowledged her with a nod and proceeded to join her and the Ensign at their table.
He noticed that when he acknowledged her, she just beamed and got all bubbly. That was the best word for it. Her glowing tattoos seemed to brighten for just a moment before she sat down, leaving him to wonder what those tattoos looked like on the rest of her body. He made it to the table and sat down on autopilot while his mind indulged in a little fantastical daydream, leaving him noticeably flushed and uncomfortable in ways that only men could be.
Setting his tray and bottle of maple syrup down on the table and taking a seat, Robert tried to say thank you, but neither Ishani nor the Ensign had their translators running.
En. Tha'xur noticed him stop trying to use hand speak and realized that they had just messed up a little. "I am sorry, that was rude of us," she said as she tried to get her translation app up and running. Meanwhile, Ishani was no help; she was head down in her food, blushing and trying very hard not to be noticed. "There, we're set."
Robert was relieved when En. Tha'xur got her translation app running, so he wouldn't have to stare at Ishani across the round table from him. He returned his attention to En. Tha'xur. "I was trying to say thank you for asking me to join you, and it's okay. You at least figured it out."
Ishani looked up from her half-eaten food when En. Tha'xur's translator started speaking. Fuck, she thought, this is so embarrassing. Inviting a boy to come over and eat with you only to ignore him when he gets here. Idiot. Turning to face him, her brain failed as she smiled stupidly and took another bite. "Hungry?"
En. Tha'xur couldn't help but cringe. The situation unfolding before she seemed straight out of a cliché "coming of age" story, where a girl meets a boy and the universe seems to pause just for them. It reminded her of the sentimental videos her older brother and his friends would tear up over. Poor Ishani, the other girls around her would roast her mercilessly, yet she remained oblivious to the fact that she was being watched. En. Tha'xur couldn't decide if it was cute or tragic. Determined to intervene and save Ishani from herself, she spoke up, "Robert, the reason Crewwoman Vevreix invited you over is that I need your help."
"Hungry?" Robert was caught off guard by Ishani's question. Did she even understand what she was doing? He found her confusing, and he just wanted to finish his meal quickly and GTFO. En. Tha'xur was speaking, but he had missed what she said. He decided to play dumb and replied, "OK."
En. Tha'xur thought to herself, "This is good." She then explained, "Well, my husband and my three kho wives are going to be arriving on Earth in three days. I had scheduled a 14-day leave, but then I received an emergency assignment here, and I don't know if they will honor my leave request."
Robert had managed to pay enough attention to understand that she needed a favor. He had two basic choices: give a hard no and explain that the advocates wouldn't allow him to help until they gave the go-ahead, or try to answer her questions. His best option was to listen and see if he could offer some hints. "I am quite restricted by what my advocates have told me to do, but I will try to point you in the right direction."
Finally, Ishani managed to gather her thoughts and interjected, "See, I told you, all you need to do is ask."
En. Tha'xur rolled her eyes, silently expressing her frustration towards Ishani. She replied, "Thank you, can you help?"
Talking with his mouth full wasn't polite and attempting to gesture while eating proved to be a challenge. Robert sighed as he reluctantly set down his fork, his stomach growling in protest. "Yes, I will genuinely help you. And if you're wondering why," Robert paused, trying to understand his willingness to assist, "it's because you asked. Now, the big question is, do you even know what you want to ask?"
Ishani eagerly jumped in, unknowingly giving En. Tha'xur some time to formulate a proper question to ask. "Okay, if I can ask one too, please?"
Robert held up one finger as he obeyed the demands of his stomach and shoved a load of runny fried eggs and hash browns in his mouth. "Sure, since you saved me from eating alone." Robert swallowed hard after he finished speaking, realizing he had just unintentionally flirted with her. Thinking inwardly, "Shut up, dumb ass. You are going to get yourself in trouble."
Ishani sputtered like Joe Pesci for just a couple of seconds before getting to her real question. "Ok, ok, ok, ok." Pointing to the work area where the Charger was, she asked, "Why is the car so important? Why did you build it?"
Robert shoveled another load of eggs and hash browns into his mouth. "Why would a human boy on Earth, living in North America, want to build a fast car and one that could fly?" Pausing to inhale the bite of his eggs and hash browns, he continued, "Because it was fun, and it would have been cool to have a hotrod and be the only one to fly. Well, that would be a show-off, a little, and to have a shitload of fun flying around in it."
En. Tha'xur cluelessly responded, "What is a 'hotrod,' and why would a flying car be 'cool'? I guess that means good?"
Robert had to roll his head back before responding, to the idea of attempting to explain custom car and motorcycle cultures. "Humans like to personalize cars and other things as expressions of their personalities and rolling pieces of art in some cases. For a human boy to be able to build a car and go fast is a dream. Hotrods are the result of those builds."
Taking another break to move the French toast in front of him and pour on the maple syrup, he continued, "Back to the first part of your question, 'Why is it important?' Other than a personal attachment to the memories connected to it... it is not, in the grand scheme of things, it was a mistake. A very valuable mistake, it disproved one of my approaches to a bigger challenge."
En. Tha'xur and Crewwoman Vevreix just looked at each other and mouthed the same words, "It was a fucking mistake!!"
Robert tried to hide his smug satisfaction. Nobody ever considered just how much of his work was critical and applied to his big challenge. Ishani looked at Robert as he dug into his French toast. "If that was a mistake, what is the prize?" Robert just smiled and shrugged in response to the question. En. Tha'xur sat dejected, "Well, that did answer one of the big questions. The car is a stepping stone to the bigger thing."
Watching the Ensign sit dejected and look a little lost made Robert feel like a little shit. Flipping the bird to the bureaucratic machine that was the Imperium always felt like a "fuck yes," but trolling a person was different. She had asked him for help, and he had used it to be petty and spiteful. "You don't need to ask right now, and if you loan me your data slate, I will give you a couple of hints," he said, reaching out for the device.
En. Tha'xur handed over the data slate wordlessly. Robert opened a new document and wrote:
"If you have 'The Right Stuff,' you can connect the dots."
"Space-Time Gravity is not the same as Gravity Space-Time."
When he finished, he handed the data slate back to the ensign and returned to his food. En. Tha'xur picked up the data slate, read the hints, and found the first line to be of no use other than some devotional wisdom that would be preached in a temple. However, the second line held interesting possibilities. Grabbing the data slate, Ishani quickly scanned the text and handed it back to En. Tha'xur. "Thank you, I think we can work with this," she said. Turning to En. Tha'xur, she added, "Ma'am, I think we need to work in conference room 2 today. It has the other digital whiteboard, and I think we need the space."
En. Tha'xur picked up the data slate and looked right at Robert. "I don't get the first one. The second one could be applied in a dozen or more places."
Finishing his first piece of French toast, Robert tried to remember the order of the equations to point her in the right direction. "Show me my work from last night, and I will show you the one to work against. Don't try to finish it, just try to understand it."
En. Tha'xur handed the translated copy of Robert's work back to him, and he looked at it with a mixture of fascination and difficulty. It was strange to see his work presented so neatly, but it was also challenging to read. He had to mentally retranslate it to the original version he had written. Working through the problem brought his headache back in full force, making the surroundings too bright and diminishing his appetite. Robert tried to hide his discomfort, squinting his eyes and taking deep breaths.
Concerned, Ishani noticed his strained expression and asked, "Are you alright? You don't look well."
With a weak smile, Robert replied, "I shouldn't have done that. I usually take a couple of days off after my little flying trips. It's like working out too hard and feeling extremely sore the next day, then trying to work out again. Not fun."
En. Tha'xur felt uneasy knowing that Robert was enduring pain to help her. She thought of her father and how he would be disappointed in her. "Are you sure you don't need a doctor?" she asked, genuinely concerned.
"I'll be fine, I just need some sleep," Robert reassured them, pushing his plate of food away. "If either of you wants to finish this, go for it. At the very least, don't waste the bacon."
Ishani reached for the plate and admitted, "I've heard about bacon, but I'm a little afraid to try new foods. I don't want to be disappointed."
En. Tha'xur reached for a piece of bacon, saying, "I love bacon. I'll even taste-test it to make sure it's okay." She smiled at Ishani and took a bite.
Robert observed as En. Tha'xur's eyes widened in shock. Oops, he remembered that he had coated the bacon in maple syrup. However, she didn't spit it out, which was a good sign. His mom loved crispy bacon dipped in maple syrup. Sometimes, she would devour an entire package of bacon if there was maple syrup in the house, and then she would try to conceal the fact that a pound of bacon had disappeared. She would even do her dishes, a chore that was usually Robert's.
En. Tha'xur bit into the bacon, expecting a salty taste but experiencing the combination of sweet and salty. The flavor was incredible. She paused to savor the taste before chewing again. "You have to try this!" she exclaimed.
Ishani, with anticipation in her eyes, sniffed the remaining piece of bacon. "Here goes nothing." She cherished this moment, as it was the closest she had come to tasting her nest mother's nectar. Grabbing the plate, she declared, "I'm finishing this!" and devoured the last piece of French toast without bothering with utensils.
Despite his throbbing headache, Robert couldn't help but smile as he rose from the table. "Enjoy. I need some sleep."
/*******************************/
Tommy had to roll his eyes at Valenlina's latest attempt to "improve" his wardrobe with a purple satin shirt with a matching sea green scarf. No matter how many times Valenlina tried to have Tommy dress like a proper male, Tommy always simply said no. Early on in the dating, Valenlina had gotten so frustrated that she also broke up with him, not that she ever told him. Her father and kho mother Tearhart had stepped in and explained that she could not make a human be like a Shil. The Imperium still tried, and the Humans resisted more. There were several semi-celebrities on the data-net that advised Shil’vai women on dating human males and females. The most common rule for dating a human male is not to try and change them to be acceptable in your circle because they will resent you for it. You have attracted a human male for a reason, embrace it.
Their walk through downtown Prescott was a moment the Tommy did not have to think about the meeting tomorrow. Early this morning he and his mother had gotten almost an hour of one on one time with Advocate Roskin and she was able to explain in greater detail what was expected of him tomorrow and how things could go right or wrong. Withholding information was one of the worse things he could do. After the meeting, Valenlina noticed the additional stress in Tommy. It was so bad that physical affection had no effect. There was only one thing other than sex that could distraction, window shopping.
Their window shopping trip started as a serious attempt to make him presentable in Shil’vati society, ow her attempts to help him look more presentable were just something they did to have fun. In many ways, it was closer to foreplay now, as Tommy now attempts to have Valenlina dress like a human girl. Tommy did have one big win, a pair of 4-inch-high heels, he had said they improved the view coming and going. Her big win last year was a shirt and tie set for his tailored charcoal suit, he was finally willing to wear formal attire with a splash color.
Valenlina could see her best effort to pull Tommy out of what his mother called a 'funk' were not working. He was still not willing to talk to her about it, she could understand that he was pissed but his silence bothered her. While he had not pushed her away, he still felt distant. Last year's fireworks had been the warmup act for what had followed. She could never look at Mr. Scott's old Ford pickup without blushing just a little bit.
Tommy smiled with a wicked little smile, "Thinking dirty thoughts again I see." he said holding up a pair of women's cowboy boots in hot pink.
Playfully Valenlina put on her pouty face, "What would you wear with them?"
Taking his turn to think dirty thoughts and hoping to see her turn dark blue Tommy put on his most innocent face, "First this is a girl's color, and they would be for you, but what would I wear if you wanted me to try them on? Nothing?" Emphasizing the last word.
With a facade of indignation, "Why Mr. Sandoval, are you implying that the Governess's daughter would be involved in anything so uncouth as to make a respectable male present himself for inspection with only what the Goddess endowed him with?"
Tommy returned the boots to the display and stepped forward to steal a kiss."My Dear Miss Seskie, you know dammed well that you would take full advantage of that situation."
Returning the kiss, Valenlina smiled. "Yes, Mr. Sandoval I would." She bent down to whisper into his ear. "I think we both need to cool off or we will never make it to the fireworks show."
Tommy took her by the hand." Looks like I'll have to settle for mint chocolate chip ice cream."
Valenlina put on a hurt expression. "You are so cruel."
They left the window shopping and continued walking back to the courthouse square. The roads around the court were closed for three days for Frontier Days and the Festive of Colors. This opened the court square up for a giant art show and sales venue. This was the change for local artisans to show off their wares in the hopes of making one or selling to a noble patron and then getting follow-up commission work. The north side of the courthouse was dedicated to custom motorcycles and the east side was for classic custom cars. The west side, known as "Whiskey Row" is where the food vendors and their destination Jacksons Ice Cream was set up right in front of the Palace Restaurant and Saloon.
Turning the corner to walk up Whiskey Row Tommy could not help but feel he was being watched. Tommy had to keep Valenlina from heading off to go look at this or that. He had to remind her, that ice cream was first or he would have to give her a spanking. Valenlina would always retort with, "Promises, promises".
When they were getting their ice cream Valenlina nudged Tommy and told him to look across the street. Standing in front of a face painting booth was a short portly balding human male with a puggy round face. He wearing a well-made black suit, the only thing missing from the 1930s gangster getup was a fedora hat.
Taking their ice cream and heading off to a wood sculptor's booth Tommy kicked himself mentally for not seeing him earlier, he was the only person wearing a business suit. He should have stood out like a sore thumb, but he just seemed to blend in. The booth was impressive, boasting several pieces commissioned by various members of the nobility. Tommy ate his ice cream and kept an eye on the gangster while Valenlina inspected the various pieces and got sticker shock.
Tommy tried to get Valenlina's attention when the gangster entered the booth and proceeded to the cane rack. By the time Valenlina noticed, the gangster was already paying for the cane he had selected.
When the gangster finished his transaction, he turned to Tommy and Valenlina." Well if it isn't the young man of the hour, Thomas Sandoval. It's a pleasure to meet you. As well as you, Miss Seskie."
Flustered, Tommy stuttered out, "Who the fuck are you? Have you been watching me?"
The man smiled, but it felt unnerving, maybe a little malicious, too., "My name is Mr. Rojo and I watch everybody. It's my calling, but I will admit that you and your brother have piqued my interest. I go through life watching the world go by, I enjoy the shifting mosaic of peoples' lives, and how they interconnect. For example, the car that you and your brother build was a 69 or 70 I could not tell with what is out on the news media.”
Tommy waited to tell this to go pound sand, but he need to talk and tell Mr. Rojo what even he needed, Tommy forgot Valenlina was listening as he spoke.” It is a 69, why is that important?”
The gangster slowly dropped part of his smile as he replied, ”It is not important, it is merely a curiosity just like why not use the Confederate battle flag and why the name Valkirey?”
Eagerly Tommy responded, “The Betsy Ross over the Stars and Bars, because it is more appropriate at this time and the Shil’vati Imperium has no idea what it means, instead of erasing human history maybe the Shil’vati could try learning from it.” almost quoting Sean Connery about goose stopping morons and burning books. “ Now for Valkire over General Lee, that is easy, Valkire’s are sexy and cool. and General Lee would get us in trouble, just like the Stars and Bars.”
The gangster's smile was completely gone, and his expression and tone had changed to serious but neutral almost professorial, “But I have a simple question for you, and I'd greatly appreciate it if you would give me an honest answer, Thomas what is gravity?"
Thomas could not stop himself and replied without hesitation. "Gravity is a higher dimensional construct. When projected from a higher dimension it appears to be a force, but to use it as a dimensional construct the space-time gravity interpretation must be inverted to be the first-dimensional construct so that space-time gravity becomes gravitational space-time with an indeterminate number of dimensional constructs between gravity and space."
The gangster looked surprised, while Valenlina looked utterly confused. "Is that your brother Robert's words or yours?"
Thomas hesitated only slightly before he replied. "Mostly Robert's, I can't dream up the shit he does but once he explains it, I can see it. He uses me as a sounding board." Tommy suddenly realized what he was saying. "Who the fuck are you?"
The gangster took Tommy's hand to shake it. "Mr. Sandoval, I told you I am a watcher and now I get to watch you. Have a glorious life Mr. Sandoval" nodding to Valenlina, "and you too, Miss Seskie."
Tommy watched as the gangster walked out of the booth noting that nobody noticed his passing.
Valenlina had been too engrossed in Mr. Rojo and Tommy's conversation to say or do anything, but now that Mr. Rojo was no longer there she angrily turned to face Tommy."Thomas, you have some explaining to do!"
Tommy would not realize until much later, that the gangster had placed the cane in his has as he left.
/*******************************/
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Janissary: The Joy Ride Ch1 : Sexyspacebabes (reddit.com)
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Janissary: The Joy Ride Ch7 : Sexyspacebabes (reddit.com)
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Chapter 8
Extra:
Janissary: The Son Of War : Sexyspacebabes (reddit.com)
Janissary: Vision from Zy'Verila : Sexyspacebabes (reddit.com)

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Chapter 27 - I Guess a Bathhouse Episode was Inevitable
Last Time: Having attained at least some measure or personal safety, the party recovered from their wounds in a forest clearing. Aiden awoke from his nightmare-troubled sleep to see everyone waiting. They had found a fortuitous ally in the form of Alex, a teamster who had happened upon them during their flight from Tripit, though they were away retrieving the party’s belongings. The day passed peacefully enough, and good news was had when Oxcard awoke from his sleep. In the relative quiet, plans were made for what the party would do going forward. Aiden, Laran, Leor, and Oriwyn would follow Arcadia and Oxcard as they made their way to Diareen, a distant trade city. In addition to following them, Aiden made Arcadia and Oxcard the offer to join their party. The two siblings deferred their answer but acquiesced to the party joining them on their trip, and thus it was that they set travel that night at a much more leisurely pace than they had been forced to take the night before.
We had been traveling for about three days. During the first, all of us had been jumpy. Many small clumps of people lined the roads that led from Tripit, little communities that arose in order to be near Tripit or which persisted despite the meteoric growth of their larger neighbor. Any time someone glanced over at us, I felt like they were going to report our whereabouts to Daisy and we would need to flee into the darkness. Luckily, however, there were no incidents and we began to be able to fully relax.
Oxcard was making a good recovery. He still rode in the cart more often than not, with Oriwyn often joining him to minister to his wounds as best she could. It quickly became apparent that he knew more about treating injuries than Oriwyn, so her attempts quickly turned into lessons. Arcadia normally walked nearby, chatting pleasantly with Oxcard whenever he otherwise didn’t have anything to do - I had noticed she didn’t talk to the rest of the party as much, but given the circumstances I figured that her joy at saving Ox merited a little bit of single-minded focus.
It felt strange to lead the group with nothing really going on. We had too many injuries to really try to train, and we wanted to spend as much time as we could traveling to put some distance behind us just in case someone was following, so we barely acted like an adventuring party. In general, it felt more like we were a group of backpackers who had run into each other and decided to stick together rather than an adventuring party on a quest for future glory.
All in all, I couldn’t say I really minded it.
In the quiet times after we’d made camp but before I fell asleep, I would occasionally check Lorna’s pocket mirror. The first time I did, I was unsurprised to learn we had all leveled up - I was level six, Laran and Leor were level seven, Oriwyn was level eight, Arcadia was level five, and Oxcard was level six. In addition to that, I had increased in bond with everybody. After such a harrowing venture, it felt right.
About midway through the third day of travel, Alex called out to us all, suddenly excited.
“I thought this looked familiar! See the weird tree that looks like it was hit by lightning? And that pile of boulders over there that kind of looks like a bunny? If we take the side road we’ll find in about ten minutes, then we’ll get to YaDa’s!”
I had no idea what Alex was talking about, so I shot a look around to the rest of the party. They seemed equally as mystified, so I decided to take one for the team.
“Uh, YaDa’s? What is that?”
Alex slapped a hand to their heart as if they’d been offended.
“You don’t know of YaDa’s? It's the finest combination inn, general store, and bathhouse in all of Tal!”
I snorted with laughter at Alex’s mock indignation. The place certainly sounded interesting - even after only three days on the road, I could do with an inn, a general store, and a bathhouse. If they all happened to be in the same building, then that was all the better for it. I did have one question though.
“I think we’re interested, assuming it won’t cause us too much delay. That being said, why is someone trying to run a business out in the middle of nowhere? Sure we’re not too far from Tripit and we’re on a decently large road, but I can’t imagine that enough people pass through to make it fully worth their while.”
Alex just shrugged and smiled.
“The owners seem to do just fine for themselves! Maybe it’s because they tend to get a lot of repeat customers. I’m not the only one who looks forward to my path taking me by YaDa’s - in fact, I stop pretty much every time I’m going to or from Tripit!”
I nodded along as Alex continued to ramble about some of the amenities of YaDa’s. Everyone else seemed interested too, so it wasn’t much of a decision to declare we would stop in and rest the remainder of the day. Everyone’s mood got an immediate boost and we all moved faster - even the pack animals pulling the cart seemed excited. Soon enough we found a simple wooden sign next to a side road, which Alex directed us down.
The sign had three pictograms on it - a coin purse, a plate of food, and a steaming bath. As I looked at them, my brain started to work out what order I wanted to do the actions they represented in.
Oriwyn’s eyes were bright and wide open as we came down the path. Already, a building could be seen in the distance. It was large for how little else stood near it - a big, blocky building that matched what I thought an inn should look like was flanked by a smaller, blocky building and a large geodesic dome. I blinked a few times, startled by the shape. It looked like triangular panes of glass rested on a wooden substructure, making a shape that I always associated with retrofuturism. Leor looked interested too - maybe she had some interest in architecture?
As we approached, Alex rumbled their wagon to a halt.
“You six - sorry Brams, seven - go ahead and run in ahead of me. I have an understanding with the owners so I’m going to hitch Peggy and Gary up in the stables before I try to get settled. Someone should be working the front desk - introduce yourself, they’re friendly!”
We thanked Alex for their insight and made our way into the building. We entered into a slightly small space - it wasn’t cramped, but it definitely felt small for what I associated with the entryway for an inn. A few plush chairs were arranged around a fireplace on one wall and a desk stood at the far end. It was currently unoccupied, but I saw a small hanging bell and a hammer on an iron stand on the desk. Shrugging, I took point and walked up to the desk. I glanced around but couldn’t see anyone, so I picked up the hammer and tapped the bell. The resulting noise was surprisingly loud and the answer was almost instant.
“So sorry! Be with you in a second!” came a deep but feminine sounding voice. Sure enough, after a short time had passed, a door opened and a woman stepped through.
To call the woman tall felt almost like an understatement. It seemed like she needed to duck under the doorframe - my best guess is that she was six foot eight or taller. She was built in a way that suggested the Ghost of Christmas Present to me - red hair and all - and when she walked behind the desk it looked comically small before her. She appeared to be human, but I wondered if giants were a thing in Tal - if they were, she definitely looked the part.
“Welcome to YaDa’s!” she said, smiling brightly. She swept a hand up to herself by way of introduction. “My name is Ya, and Da is around elsewhere, and together we run YaDa’s! I don’t think I recognize you - is this your first time?”
Leor was the one who stepped up to answer, which surprised me. I shifted back a little to let her take point.
“Yes, this is our first time, though you came highly recommended by our associate Alex. I believe they should be joining us soon!”
Ya beamed behind the desk.
“Oh! Alex is a good sort - glad to see them back! Their favorite room is even open right now - unless they’d be staying with you?”
“We hadn’t discussed how we would be doing lodging arrangements, but I assume Alex may want some peace and quiet after having us unexpectedly tail along for a few days. What sort of accommodations are there?”
Ya ran a quick count on our number. “For six? We have suites that can take six, or you could do three rooms of two. Honestly, it’s cheaper if you’re all together, and we have a harder time filling the big rooms anyway.
It was at that moment that Brams began to try to scale Ya’s desk. With a scrabbling sound and some snorting, he made his presence known. Ya looked down, looked a little surprised, then reached over the desk and held out her arms. Brams gladly stopped scrabbling and flopped into the proffered embrace, so Ya lifted him and placed him on the desk.
“My my, aren’t you a strange one, little creature! Can’t say I’ve seen your like before…”
Brams made a snorting sound that seemed almost indignant and shook himself. His tail wiggled with the end of the shake, then he sat and stared up at Ya. There was a moment’s silence and Brams looked very intent - all of us leaned in a little, as it seemed like Brams was about to do something. A violent sneeze burst from his muzzle, making us all jump, and the moment was over. Ya smiled at him and tousled the hair on top of his head with her huge hands.
“Well, sorry for not including you in the count. I’m sure that the room will fit seven, though you may need to squeeze a little. Follow me!”
With that, Ya pulled a bulky key from a pocket in her pants. She bent down and unlocked a drawer in the desk, withdrawing a smaller key. As she handed it to Leor, she gave her some instructions.
“Now this key is enchanted. After we’ve opened your door, you’ll have ten minutes to make as many copies as you’ll need. Just take the key, leave it on an open spot of the table, and make sure nobody looks at it for about a minute. When you look back, there’ll be a second key on the table. Take the key and give it to someone - have them put it out of sight - and repeat it until you have what you need! When you’re done, stroke the first key and tell it thanks and it’ll stop duplicating itself.”
I chuckled - hotel key cards had nothing on what I’d just seen. Sure the whole system seemed a little convoluted, and there was a part of me that wanted to keep summoning keys for a few hours just to see how many I could make, but it still felt really cool. In a way, it felt like proper magic, like in a fairy tale.
It was amazing how quickly parts of Tal had become passé to me. I figured since I’d been living in Tal for a while, it was natural that I'd done my best to try and fit in, which would explain how I so quickly became inured to the magical wonders of the world. After all, it seemed like my life was going to continue on as it had been for the foreseeable future. Still, sometimes something small would hit me over the head with a sudden feeling that I was somewhere different from Earth.
Over time, that feeling had been less and less negative.
We followed Ya as she led us to our room. She had to slow a little, as Arcadia made it a point to walk in front of Oxcard and walk slowly so he wouldn’t try to keep up with the tall woman and possibly re-open his wounds. Despite the delay however, we made it to our rooms fine before too awful long.
Our lodgings were simple but spacious. Beds lined two of the walls, creating a corner for sleeping that stood opposed to a clear space with some tables, chairs, and what appeared to be a simple wood-fired stove. A stack of small firewood sat in a basket and thick quilts covered the bed, and overall the whole place gave off a very cozy feeling.
We wasted no time in thanking Ya and starting to get settled in. Arcadia, Oxcard, and Oriwyn took the three beds on one wall while Leor, Laran, and I took the remaining. Leor busied herself making keys, though had some trouble because Oriwyn kept trying to sneak a peek of the key when it split, causing the magic to not work. Eventually though, each of us had a copy - we even made a copy for Brams and tied it around his neck loosely with a piece of ribbon, figuring that it would be a good backup. Leor had an odd look on her face when she began to stroke the key and tell it thank you, which got the rest of us laughing. The key shivered in her hand and let out a contented sigh, which made Leor drop it. Oxcard started laughing so hard that he doubled over in pain, but there was no damage done and the mood stayed high. I decided I should address everyone and come up with something of a game plan.
“Well everyone, it looks like we have some R and R time on our hands! What do people want to do?”
What followed was a pleasantly lively discussion. Arcadia, Laran, and I really wanted to see about the bathhouse side of things, while Oriwyn and Leor argued that they were hungry. Oxcard stayed quiet for most of the deliberation, offering noncommittal answers if ever directly asked about anything, which I found a little strange but which I didn’t press on. The whole time, Brams ran laps around the room, flapping his wings as he jumped from bed to bed. I noticed he seemed to be getting just the littlest bit of a glide going as he leapt over the longer stretches - I would bring that up with Ori later. It also seemed like a positive development that the movement didn’t cause him pain, despite the healing scar on his wing.
Eventually, a plan was settled on. We would go to the general store to see if they had bathing clothes and something to eat. If they did, we would make our purchases then head to the bathhouse, which we assumed was the glass-encased dome structure. If we couldn’t find something that worked as a snack, we agreed we would get a proper meal before swimming. Our plan solidified, Oriwyn calmed Brams down enough so that he stopped running laps of the room, and we headed back to the front.
When we got to the store, we found someone we hadn’t seen before. By the look of her, she seemed to be Ya’s daughter - she hadn’t inherited her mother’s prodigious height entirely, but still stood roughly six feet tall. As we all walked in, she perked up immediately.
“Hello! My name is Yada, and I run the general store here! Have you ever visited one of our shops?”
So many things hit me at once I had trouble figuring out what to focus on first. The first thing I came to grips with was that this person’s name was likely a combination of her parents’ - it wasn’t that hard to imagine, but it still felt weird. The second was that there were multiple shops. Obviously the concept of a chain of stores wasn’t foreign to me, but they were a concept I thought I had left behind with Earth. Curiosity overtook me, so I decided to press for a little more information.
“No I can’t say I have - where are they?”
Yada puffed up behind the desk and looked proud of herself.
“Oh they’re around! Pick three out of the four cardinal directions from Tripit, and there you’ll find a branch of Yada’s General store. My siblings - Yadayada and Yadayadayada - run those two stores, but I was the one who started the whole thing and got this shop made! Mom and Dad really mostly care about the hospitality part of things, so I was free to make the business as I wanted it.”
Leor snorted and bluntly asked Yada a question that I had to admit had occurred to me too.
“Yada, Yadayada, and Yadayadayada? Good thing your parents didn’t have more kids or that would get unwieldy. Are they not very creative people?”
I may have phrased things a little more delicately, but I was still curious of the answer. Luckily Yada laughed it off and didn’t seem to take any offense.
“No, they’re good hosts but not the most imaginative when it comes to naming. We always joked it made it easy for people to remember who was the oldest - take the number of syllables and divide by two!”
Leor just raised her eyebrows but Arcadia burst out laughing. I don’t think I’d heard her laugh like that before. Oriwyn looked at her and slowly began to chuckle along, slowly crescendoing to full-blown laughter as well. I managed to keep a straight face until I glanced over at Laran, who looked utterly mystified. Ox was smiling - the first time I’d seen him do so in the short and intense time since I’d met him - and even Leor was giving a disdainful look, which was tantamount to a grin from her. When everyone calmed down, we thanked Yada for the introduction and got to the business of shopping.
There were sandwiches wrapped up in little paper bags, which we all bought one or two of. Oriwyn, Leor, and Oxcard immediately wolfed theirs down while Laran, Arcadia, and I went to a small table set off to the side and had a more leisurely time of things. As we ate, the other three began to look at the wares of the shop.
Oriwyn immediately found little baubles and spent a good while combing through a small chest of brooches. While she was doing that, Oxcard went to some shelves that had what looked like medical supplies. He came up to Arcadia with an armful and asked for some money, which she hurriedly fished out and gave him. Finally, Leor seemed to be focused on a small collection of clothes. She held up a garment and wandered over to a mirror to see how she looked in it. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was some sort of bathing suit.
I was really, really thankful that Tal had the concept of bathing suits. Part of me had been quietly dreading the prospect of skinny-dipping with five people who were barely more than strangers to me. The fact there was some reasonable expectation we would all be clothed was a relief.
After we finished our sandwiches, we all went to look at the bathing wear. Yada wandered over and started talking about things, going over what was popular where and who had suggested certain styles. I did what I normally did and grabbed the first pair of anything that reasonably looked like it would fit me, and it seemed Oxcard did the same. Arcadia was the next to choose, then Leor. Laran and Oriwyn were debating extensively amongst themselves, going over minute differences in material and cut that I wouldn’t have even thought to look at, so we left them to it and told them to meet us in the bathhouse. They agreed, so we set off.
When we entered the glass dome that hosted the baths, I saw that I had been right. A wooden frame created triangular ledges that held up glass panes. Some of them seemed to be missing from strategic places, creating a cross breeze. Still, the glass held in a large amount of steamy air, and we quickly picked out a large pool to claim as our own. There were only two other bathers, and they were off in a much smaller pool off to the side, so we had plenty of choice. We saw some booths off to the side and went to get changed.
As we gathered by the pool, my head idly studied what bathing suits we’d all chosen. I had gone with what was familiar - a pair of baggy trunks that had a cinch at the waist so they wouldn’t fall down. They didn’t have the weird inner netting that I was used to in place of underwear, which felt a bit strange and loose, but otherwise they were comfortable enough. Oxcard seemed to have chosen much the same as me, but where mine were dyed a green color, his seemed to be wholly undyed. I wondered if they had been the cheapest pair available - that might track with what little I knew about him and Arcadia.
Speaking of, Arcadia was wearing what looked like a sports bra and spanks. I’m sure there were women back home who would have killed for her sporty build, though given her life I’m sure she hadn’t come by it in a way that was in any way pleasant. The last to emerge was Leor, and I had to stop myself from laughing. She looked like a candy cane, wearing a red and white striped one-piece bathing suit that made me think of the old-timey Victorian bathing suits I saw guys wearing in movies and read about in history books. The lower part nearly came down to her knees, and given her beard and candy-cane coloring I got the impression of one of Santa’s elves on holiday. The mental image was doubly funny given that Leor was very definitely a dwarf, but I managed to hold myself together regardless.
We all slipped into the water - it was warm and inviting - and had just started to chat when we heard the bathhouse door open. We waved at Oriwyn and Laran as they entered, and they quickly went and got changed in the hutches we had vacated. It was with some curiosity that I watched for them to exit.
Oriwyn wore a loose, draped garment that seemed to be gathered at specific places to preserve her modesty - it looked vaguely Greek to me. I only had a few seconds to observe the cut though, because she immediately took a running start and jumped towards the deepest part of the pool. Brams immediately followed, offering a secondary splash nearly as large as Oriwyn’s as he splashed down. He began to paddle around the pool happily, having tucked his wings up and out of the way, while Oriwyn surfaced, shooting a cheesy grin at Leor - who she had splashed severely with her entrance - and took a place along the ledge at the edge.
When Laran came out, my face turned a little red. Now I wasn’t a prude, and over the years I had seen several men in very, very revealing swimsuits, but Laran’s suit was drawing my eyes in a way that I felt like they hadn’t been drawn since I was going through puberty. He wore what appeared to be folded fabric instead of trunks like Oxcard and I had found - some distant memory thought it looked vaguely Roman in Earth terms. It was a dark burgundy and not even that revealing, but something about seeing him in it brought back the bashfulness I had experienced when he’d run around the edge of the house shirtless the first time I met him. He seemed to be thinking the same way as I saw his cheeks darkened, but ignored his self-consciousness and walked over without comment to join us in the pool.
We all relaxed in the warm water, trading the occasional bits of small talk. After a while Alex walked in and we waved, but they seemed bent on going to a particular pool on the opposite side of the room. After a while of discussing nothing important, Arcadia cleared her throat to get our attention.
“Excuse me? I don’t want to be too formal or anything, but Ox and I have been talking about your offer and I figured we should share what we decided.”
My heart nearly froze in my chest. My curiosity on if they’d join us had been burning away at me for the whole trip so far, and it seemed like it was going to be answered. Of course we would survive without them, but with what all we’d been through I very much wanted them to accept. Also, part of me wondered if I felt that way because their refusal would mean our group wasn’t worth joining. I tried to push the sudden jumble of emotions down and focus on what she was saying.
“We talked it over and decided we’ll join you. I didn’t have a much better plan long term, and you’ve already proved you’re trustworthy. So, assuming you’ll still have us, we’d like to join.”
Arcadia looked a little nervous while Ox remained hard to read. I felt a sudden soaring in my heart, but Oriwyn beat me to accepting the offer.
“Yes! Of course! We never rescinded the offer after all, plus we work well together!”
Arcadia looked pleased, and I thought I saw the ghost of a smile on Oxcard’s face. Leor smiled too, while Laran suddenly shot to his feet.
“This calls for a proper celebration! Wait ‘ere!”
With that, he got out of the pool and raced off. In short order, he returned with two wine bottles and a few glasses. He eagerly began passing them out, Leor enthusiastically helping get things uncorked and poured. When we all had our glasses, Laran raised his in the air.
“A toast! To new allies an’ a new team! May we do well, do good, and do well for ourselves in so doin’!”
He said the words as if he’d heard them before - I wondered from whom for a moment but abandoned that train of thought quickly. Everyone readily agreed to his toast and raised their glasses, myself included, before taking hearty drinks of our wine. It was a sweet, almost citrusy flavor that bordered on too sweet for me, but its flavor cut through the steamy air of the bathhouse well. I enjoyed it and it seemed everyone else did too. As we lowered our glasses though, we all got quite a shock.
“Cheers! Now where’s my glass?”
The voice came from Brams, who was happily paddling in the center of the pool. Laran choked on his wine, shooting a little out of his nose. Leor just stopped and stared into her glass, looking for an explanation there. Oxcard and Arcadia looked at the rest of us, vaguely confused, but it was Oriwyn’s reaction I really wanted to see.
She sat on her ledge in the pool, a broad smile across her face. I could see a hint of surprise in her eyes, but still she flashed her smile to the rest of us.
“Why are you all acting so surprised? Did you think I was talking to Brams just for fun?”
Elsewhere: The captain of the river barge stood eagle-eyed at the front. It wasn’t like he needed to steer very much - just about anybody could control a riverboat when it was being pulled by horses on the bank - so his attention was much better spent keeping an eye out for threats. He looked to the side - the group of three mercenaries he had hired to accompany his boat and walk by the horses trotted along, weapons sheathed and chatting amicably. He couldn’t blame them really, given that they’d been going for a full day and a half since he’d picked them up without trouble. Still, he knew this stretch of the river and knew he should expect trouble. He scanned the gently rippling surface of the river again, a sudden feeling of discomfort settling over him. A disruption caught his eye, and he let out a cry. The bubbles that caused the disruption began to surface more violently, making the calm stream look like a pot of water at a roiling boil, and the captain cursed his luck. He’d been a fool to try and make his run when he did, but he felt like he’d had no choice. Now he was going to pay for that specific incautious decision - all he could hope was that he didn’t pay too dearly in either coin or life.
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Chapter 27 - I Guess a Bathhouse Episode was Inevitable
Last Time: Having attained at least some measure or personal safety, the party recovered from their wounds in a forest clearing. Aiden awoke from his nightmare-troubled sleep to see everyone waiting. They had found a fortuitous ally in the form of Alex, a teamster who had happened upon them during their flight from Tripit, though they were away retrieving the party’s belongings. The day passed peacefully enough, and good news was had when Oxcard awoke from his sleep. In the relative quiet, plans were made for what the party would do going forward. Aiden, Laran, Leor, and Oriwyn would follow Arcadia and Oxcard as they made their way to Diareen, a distant trade city. In addition to following them, Aiden made Arcadia and Oxcard the offer to join their party. The two siblings deferred their answer but acquiesced to the party joining them on their trip, and thus it was that they set travel that night at a much more leisurely pace than they had been forced to take the night before.
We had been traveling for about three days. During the first, all of us had been jumpy. Many small clumps of people lined the roads that led from Tripit, little communities that arose in order to be near Tripit or which persisted despite the meteoric growth of their larger neighbor. Any time someone glanced over at us, I felt like they were going to report our whereabouts to Daisy and we would need to flee into the darkness. Luckily, however, there were no incidents and we began to be able to fully relax.
Oxcard was making a good recovery. He still rode in the cart more often than not, with Oriwyn often joining him to minister to his wounds as best she could. It quickly became apparent that he knew more about treating injuries than Oriwyn, so her attempts quickly turned into lessons. Arcadia normally walked nearby, chatting pleasantly with Oxcard whenever he otherwise didn’t have anything to do - I had noticed she didn’t talk to the rest of the party as much, but given the circumstances I figured that her joy at saving Ox merited a little bit of single-minded focus.
It felt strange to lead the group with nothing really going on. We had too many injuries to really try to train, and we wanted to spend as much time as we could traveling to put some distance behind us just in case someone was following, so we barely acted like an adventuring party. In general, it felt more like we were a group of backpackers who had run into each other and decided to stick together rather than an adventuring party on a quest for future glory.
All in all, I couldn’t say I really minded it.
In the quiet times after we’d made camp but before I fell asleep, I would occasionally check Lorna’s pocket mirror. The first time I did, I was unsurprised to learn we had all leveled up - I was level six, Laran and Leor were level seven, Oriwyn was level eight, Arcadia was level five, and Oxcard was level six. In addition to that, I had increased in bond with everybody. After such a harrowing venture, it felt right.
About midway through the third day of travel, Alex called out to us all, suddenly excited.
“I thought this looked familiar! See the weird tree that looks like it was hit by lightning? And that pile of boulders over there that kind of looks like a bunny? If we take the side road we’ll find in about ten minutes, then we’ll get to YaDa’s!”
I had no idea what Alex was talking about, so I shot a look around to the rest of the party. They seemed equally as mystified, so I decided to take one for the team.
“Uh, YaDa’s? What is that?”
Alex slapped a hand to their heart as if they’d been offended.
“You don’t know of YaDa’s? It's the finest combination inn, general store, and bathhouse in all of Tal!”
I snorted with laughter at Alex’s mock indignation. The place certainly sounded interesting - even after only three days on the road, I could do with an inn, a general store, and a bathhouse. If they all happened to be in the same building, then that was all the better for it. I did have one question though.
“I think we’re interested, assuming it won’t cause us too much delay. That being said, why is someone trying to run a business out in the middle of nowhere? Sure we’re not too far from Tripit and we’re on a decently large road, but I can’t imagine that enough people pass through to make it fully worth their while.”
Alex just shrugged and smiled.
“The owners seem to do just fine for themselves! Maybe it’s because they tend to get a lot of repeat customers. I’m not the only one who looks forward to my path taking me by YaDa’s - in fact, I stop pretty much every time I’m going to or from Tripit!”
I nodded along as Alex continued to ramble about some of the amenities of YaDa’s. Everyone else seemed interested too, so it wasn’t much of a decision to declare we would stop in and rest the remainder of the day. Everyone’s mood got an immediate boost and we all moved faster - even the pack animals pulling the cart seemed excited. Soon enough we found a simple wooden sign next to a side road, which Alex directed us down.
The sign had three pictograms on it - a coin purse, a plate of food, and a steaming bath. As I looked at them, my brain started to work out what order I wanted to do the actions they represented in.
Oriwyn’s eyes were bright and wide open as we came down the path. Already, a building could be seen in the distance. It was large for how little else stood near it - a big, blocky building that matched what I thought an inn should look like was flanked by a smaller, blocky building and a large geodesic dome. I blinked a few times, startled by the shape. It looked like triangular panes of glass rested on a wooden substructure, making a shape that I always associated with retrofuturism. Leor looked interested too - maybe she had some interest in architecture?
As we approached, Alex rumbled their wagon to a halt.
“You six - sorry Brams, seven - go ahead and run in ahead of me. I have an understanding with the owners so I’m going to hitch Peggy and Gary up in the stables before I try to get settled. Someone should be working the front desk - introduce yourself, they’re friendly!”
We thanked Alex for their insight and made our way into the building. We entered into a slightly small space - it wasn’t cramped, but it definitely felt small for what I associated with the entryway for an inn. A few plush chairs were arranged around a fireplace on one wall and a desk stood at the far end. It was currently unoccupied, but I saw a small hanging bell and a hammer on an iron stand on the desk. Shrugging, I took point and walked up to the desk. I glanced around but couldn’t see anyone, so I picked up the hammer and tapped the bell. The resulting noise was surprisingly loud and the answer was almost instant.
“So sorry! Be with you in a second!” came a deep but feminine sounding voice. Sure enough, after a short time had passed, a door opened and a woman stepped through.
To call the woman tall felt almost like an understatement. It seemed like she needed to duck under the doorframe - my best guess is that she was six foot eight or taller. She was built in a way that suggested the Ghost of Christmas Present to me - red hair and all - and when she walked behind the desk it looked comically small before her. She appeared to be human, but I wondered if giants were a thing in Tal - if they were, she definitely looked the part.
“Welcome to YaDa’s!” she said, smiling brightly. She swept a hand up to herself by way of introduction. “My name is Ya, and Da is around elsewhere, and together we run YaDa’s! I don’t think I recognize you - is this your first time?”
Leor was the one who stepped up to answer, which surprised me. I shifted back a little to let her take point.
“Yes, this is our first time, though you came highly recommended by our associate Alex. I believe they should be joining us soon!”
Ya beamed behind the desk.
“Oh! Alex is a good sort - glad to see them back! Their favorite room is even open right now - unless they’d be staying with you?”
“We hadn’t discussed how we would be doing lodging arrangements, but I assume Alex may want some peace and quiet after having us unexpectedly tail along for a few days. What sort of accommodations are there?”
Ya ran a quick count on our number. “For six? We have suites that can take six, or you could do three rooms of two. Honestly, it’s cheaper if you’re all together, and we have a harder time filling the big rooms anyway.
It was at that moment that Brams began to try to scale Ya’s desk. With a scrabbling sound and some snorting, he made his presence known. Ya looked down, looked a little surprised, then reached over the desk and held out her arms. Brams gladly stopped scrabbling and flopped into the proffered embrace, so Ya lifted him and placed him on the desk.
“My my, aren’t you a strange one, little creature! Can’t say I’ve seen your like before…”
Brams made a snorting sound that seemed almost indignant and shook himself. His tail wiggled with the end of the shake, then he sat and stared up at Ya. There was a moment’s silence and Brams looked very intent - all of us leaned in a little, as it seemed like Brams was about to do something. A violent sneeze burst from his muzzle, making us all jump, and the moment was over. Ya smiled at him and tousled the hair on top of his head with her huge hands.
“Well, sorry for not including you in the count. I’m sure that the room will fit seven, though you may need to squeeze a little. Follow me!”
With that, Ya pulled a bulky key from a pocket in her pants. She bent down and unlocked a drawer in the desk, withdrawing a smaller key. As she handed it to Leor, she gave her some instructions.
“Now this key is enchanted. After we’ve opened your door, you’ll have ten minutes to make as many copies as you’ll need. Just take the key, leave it on an open spot of the table, and make sure nobody looks at it for about a minute. When you look back, there’ll be a second key on the table. Take the key and give it to someone - have them put it out of sight - and repeat it until you have what you need! When you’re done, stroke the first key and tell it thanks and it’ll stop duplicating itself.”
I chuckled - hotel key cards had nothing on what I’d just seen. Sure the whole system seemed a little convoluted, and there was a part of me that wanted to keep summoning keys for a few hours just to see how many I could make, but it still felt really cool. In a way, it felt like proper magic, like in a fairy tale.
It was amazing how quickly parts of Tal had become passé to me. I figured since I’d been living in Tal for a while, it was natural that I'd done my best to try and fit in, which would explain how I so quickly became inured to the magical wonders of the world. After all, it seemed like my life was going to continue on as it had been for the foreseeable future. Still, sometimes something small would hit me over the head with a sudden feeling that I was somewhere different from Earth.
Over time, that feeling had been less and less negative.
We followed Ya as she led us to our room. She had to slow a little, as Arcadia made it a point to walk in front of Oxcard and walk slowly so he wouldn’t try to keep up with the tall woman and possibly re-open his wounds. Despite the delay however, we made it to our rooms fine before too awful long.
Our lodgings were simple but spacious. Beds lined two of the walls, creating a corner for sleeping that stood opposed to a clear space with some tables, chairs, and what appeared to be a simple wood-fired stove. A stack of small firewood sat in a basket and thick quilts covered the bed, and overall the whole place gave off a very cozy feeling.
We wasted no time in thanking Ya and starting to get settled in. Arcadia, Oxcard, and Oriwyn took the three beds on one wall while Leor, Laran, and I took the remaining. Leor busied herself making keys, though had some trouble because Oriwyn kept trying to sneak a peek of the key when it split, causing the magic to not work. Eventually though, each of us had a copy - we even made a copy for Brams and tied it around his neck loosely with a piece of ribbon, figuring that it would be a good backup. Leor had an odd look on her face when she began to stroke the key and tell it thank you, which got the rest of us laughing. The key shivered in her hand and let out a contented sigh, which made Leor drop it. Oxcard started laughing so hard that he doubled over in pain, but there was no damage done and the mood stayed high. I decided I should address everyone and come up with something of a game plan.
“Well everyone, it looks like we have some R and R time on our hands! What do people want to do?”
What followed was a pleasantly lively discussion. Arcadia, Laran, and I really wanted to see about the bathhouse side of things, while Oriwyn and Leor argued that they were hungry. Oxcard stayed quiet for most of the deliberation, offering noncommittal answers if ever directly asked about anything, which I found a little strange but which I didn’t press on. The whole time, Brams ran laps around the room, flapping his wings as he jumped from bed to bed. I noticed he seemed to be getting just the littlest bit of a glide going as he leapt over the longer stretches - I would bring that up with Ori later. It also seemed like a positive development that the movement didn’t cause him pain, despite the healing scar on his wing.
Eventually, a plan was settled on. We would go to the general store to see if they had bathing clothes and something to eat. If they did, we would make our purchases then head to the bathhouse, which we assumed was the glass-encased dome structure. If we couldn’t find something that worked as a snack, we agreed we would get a proper meal before swimming. Our plan solidified, Oriwyn calmed Brams down enough so that he stopped running laps of the room, and we headed back to the front.
When we got to the store, we found someone we hadn’t seen before. By the look of her, she seemed to be Ya’s daughter - she hadn’t inherited her mother’s prodigious height entirely, but still stood roughly six feet tall. As we all walked in, she perked up immediately.
“Hello! My name is Yada, and I run the general store here! Have you ever visited one of our shops?”
So many things hit me at once I had trouble figuring out what to focus on first. The first thing I came to grips with was that this person’s name was likely a combination of her parents’ - it wasn’t that hard to imagine, but it still felt weird. The second was that there were multiple shops. Obviously the concept of a chain of stores wasn’t foreign to me, but they were a concept I thought I had left behind with Earth. Curiosity overtook me, so I decided to press for a little more information.
“No I can’t say I have - where are they?”
Yada puffed up behind the desk and looked proud of herself.
“Oh they’re around! Pick three out of the four cardinal directions from Tripit, and there you’ll find a branch of Yada’s General store. My siblings - Yadayada and Yadayadayada - run those two stores, but I was the one who started the whole thing and got this shop made! Mom and Dad really mostly care about the hospitality part of things, so I was free to make the business as I wanted it.”
Leor snorted and bluntly asked Yada a question that I had to admit had occurred to me too.
“Yada, Yadayada, and Yadayadayada? Good thing your parents didn’t have more kids or that would get unwieldy. Are they not very creative people?”
I may have phrased things a little more delicately, but I was still curious of the answer. Luckily Yada laughed it off and didn’t seem to take any offense.
“No, they’re good hosts but not the most imaginative when it comes to naming. We always joked it made it easy for people to remember who was the oldest - take the number of syllables and divide by two!”
Leor just raised her eyebrows but Arcadia burst out laughing. I don’t think I’d heard her laugh like that before. Oriwyn looked at her and slowly began to chuckle along, slowly crescendoing to full-blown laughter as well. I managed to keep a straight face until I glanced over at Laran, who looked utterly mystified. Ox was smiling - the first time I’d seen him do so in the short and intense time since I’d met him - and even Leor was giving a disdainful look, which was tantamount to a grin from her. When everyone calmed down, we thanked Yada for the introduction and got to the business of shopping.
There were sandwiches wrapped up in little paper bags, which we all bought one or two of. Oriwyn, Leor, and Oxcard immediately wolfed theirs down while Laran, Arcadia, and I went to a small table set off to the side and had a more leisurely time of things. As we ate, the other three began to look at the wares of the shop.
Oriwyn immediately found little baubles and spent a good while combing through a small chest of brooches. While she was doing that, Oxcard went to some shelves that had what looked like medical supplies. He came up to Arcadia with an armful and asked for some money, which she hurriedly fished out and gave him. Finally, Leor seemed to be focused on a small collection of clothes. She held up a garment and wandered over to a mirror to see how she looked in it. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was some sort of bathing suit.
I was really, really thankful that Tal had the concept of bathing suits. Part of me had been quietly dreading the prospect of skinny-dipping with five people who were barely more than strangers to me. The fact there was some reasonable expectation we would all be clothed was a relief.
After we finished our sandwiches, we all went to look at the bathing wear. Yada wandered over and started talking about things, going over what was popular where and who had suggested certain styles. I did what I normally did and grabbed the first pair of anything that reasonably looked like it would fit me, and it seemed Oxcard did the same. Arcadia was the next to choose, then Leor. Laran and Oriwyn were debating extensively amongst themselves, going over minute differences in material and cut that I wouldn’t have even thought to look at, so we left them to it and told them to meet us in the bathhouse. They agreed, so we set off.
When we entered the glass dome that hosted the baths, I saw that I had been right. A wooden frame created triangular ledges that held up glass panes. Some of them seemed to be missing from strategic places, creating a cross breeze. Still, the glass held in a large amount of steamy air, and we quickly picked out a large pool to claim as our own. There were only two other bathers, and they were off in a much smaller pool off to the side, so we had plenty of choice. We saw some booths off to the side and went to get changed.
As we gathered by the pool, my head idly studied what bathing suits we’d all chosen. I had gone with what was familiar - a pair of baggy trunks that had a cinch at the waist so they wouldn’t fall down. They didn’t have the weird inner netting that I was used to in place of underwear, which felt a bit strange and loose, but otherwise they were comfortable enough. Oxcard seemed to have chosen much the same as me, but where mine were dyed a green color, his seemed to be wholly undyed. I wondered if they had been the cheapest pair available - that might track with what little I knew about him and Arcadia.
Speaking of, Arcadia was wearing what looked like a sports bra and spanks. I’m sure there were women back home who would have killed for her sporty build, though given her life I’m sure she hadn’t come by it in a way that was in any way pleasant. The last to emerge was Leor, and I had to stop myself from laughing. She looked like a candy cane, wearing a red and white striped one-piece bathing suit that made me think of the old-timey Victorian bathing suits I saw guys wearing in movies and read about in history books. The lower part nearly came down to her knees, and given her beard and candy-cane coloring I got the impression of one of Santa’s elves on holiday. The mental image was doubly funny given that Leor was very definitely a dwarf, but I managed to hold myself together regardless.
We all slipped into the water - it was warm and inviting - and had just started to chat when we heard the bathhouse door open. We waved at Oriwyn and Laran as they entered, and they quickly went and got changed in the hutches we had vacated. It was with some curiosity that I watched for them to exit.
Oriwyn wore a loose, draped garment that seemed to be gathered at specific places to preserve her modesty - it looked vaguely Greek to me. I only had a few seconds to observe the cut though, because she immediately took a running start and jumped towards the deepest part of the pool. Brams immediately followed, offering a secondary splash nearly as large as Oriwyn’s as he splashed down. He began to paddle around the pool happily, having tucked his wings up and out of the way, while Oriwyn surfaced, shooting a cheesy grin at Leor - who she had splashed severely with her entrance - and took a place along the ledge at the edge.
When Laran came out, my face turned a little red. Now I wasn’t a prude, and over the years I had seen several men in very, very revealing swimsuits, but Laran’s suit was drawing my eyes in a way that I felt like they hadn’t been drawn since I was going through puberty. He wore what appeared to be folded fabric instead of trunks like Oxcard and I had found - some distant memory thought it looked vaguely Roman in Earth terms. It was a dark burgundy and not even that revealing, but something about seeing him in it brought back the bashfulness I had experienced when he’d run around the edge of the house shirtless the first time I met him. He seemed to be thinking the same way as I saw his cheeks darkened, but ignored his self-consciousness and walked over without comment to join us in the pool.
We all relaxed in the warm water, trading the occasional bits of small talk. After a while Alex walked in and we waved, but they seemed bent on going to a particular pool on the opposite side of the room. After a while of discussing nothing important, Arcadia cleared her throat to get our attention.
“Excuse me? I don’t want to be too formal or anything, but Ox and I have been talking about your offer and I figured we should share what we decided.”
My heart nearly froze in my chest. My curiosity on if they’d join us had been burning away at me for the whole trip so far, and it seemed like it was going to be answered. Of course we would survive without them, but with what all we’d been through I very much wanted them to accept. Also, part of me wondered if I felt that way because their refusal would mean our group wasn’t worth joining. I tried to push the sudden jumble of emotions down and focus on what she was saying.
“We talked it over and decided we’ll join you. I didn’t have a much better plan long term, and you’ve already proved you’re trustworthy. So, assuming you’ll still have us, we’d like to join.”
Arcadia looked a little nervous while Ox remained hard to read. I felt a sudden soaring in my heart, but Oriwyn beat me to accepting the offer.
“Yes! Of course! We never rescinded the offer after all, plus we work well together!”
Arcadia looked pleased, and I thought I saw the ghost of a smile on Oxcard’s face. Leor smiled too, while Laran suddenly shot to his feet.
“This calls for a proper celebration! Wait ‘ere!”
With that, he got out of the pool and raced off. In short order, he returned with two wine bottles and a few glasses. He eagerly began passing them out, Leor enthusiastically helping get things uncorked and poured. When we all had our glasses, Laran raised his in the air.
“A toast! To new allies an’ a new team! May we do well, do good, and do well for ourselves in so doin’!”
He said the words as if he’d heard them before - I wondered from whom for a moment but abandoned that train of thought quickly. Everyone readily agreed to his toast and raised their glasses, myself included, before taking hearty drinks of our wine. It was a sweet, almost citrusy flavor that bordered on too sweet for me, but its flavor cut through the steamy air of the bathhouse well. I enjoyed it and it seemed everyone else did too. As we lowered our glasses though, we all got quite a shock.
“Cheers! Now where’s my glass?”
The voice came from Brams, who was happily paddling in the center of the pool. Laran choked on his wine, shooting a little out of his nose. Leor just stopped and stared into her glass, looking for an explanation there. Oxcard and Arcadia looked at the rest of us, vaguely confused, but it was Oriwyn’s reaction I really wanted to see.
She sat on her ledge in the pool, a broad smile across her face. I could see a hint of surprise in her eyes, but still she flashed her smile to the rest of us.
“Why are you all acting so surprised? Did you think I was talking to Brams just for fun?”
Elsewhere: The captain of the river barge stood eagle-eyed at the front. It wasn’t like he needed to steer very much - just about anybody could control a riverboat when it was being pulled by horses on the bank - so his attention was much better spent keeping an eye out for threats. He looked to the side - the group of three mercenaries he had hired to accompany his boat and walk by the horses trotted along, weapons sheathed and chatting amicably. He couldn’t blame them really, given that they’d been going for a full day and a half since he’d picked them up without trouble. Still, he knew this stretch of the river and knew he should expect trouble. He scanned the gently rippling surface of the river again, a sudden feeling of discomfort settling over him. A disruption caught his eye, and he let out a cry. The bubbles that caused the disruption began to surface more violently, making the calm stream look like a pot of water at a roiling boil, and the captain cursed his luck. He’d been a fool to try and make his run when he did, but he felt like he’d had no choice. Now he was going to pay for that specific incautious decision - all he could hope was that he didn’t pay too dearly in either coin or life.
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After sitting, Markus realized that he would need to exchange his money for the local currency. He rushed back into the airport and found an exchange service. He traded nearly a thousand dollars for yen, receiving nearly 140 thousand yen, in bills and coins. Thanking the trader, he rushed back outside to wait for his bus.
As he was waiting, he spied a taxi nearby and wondered if it would be better. He walked over and knocked on the window.
“_I’m sorry, excuse me? How much to get to Rikyuan Kyoto Nishikyogoku?_”
The driver blinked twice and looked at this rude American. “_Nine thousand. No less._”
Markus slid into the back seat and fished out ten thousand yen, and handed it to the driver.
“Thank you, sir. Today is my first day in your country, and I would just like to get to my room and sleep. I have an important meeting tomorrow, and I’d like to be as refreshed as possible,_” While Markus’ Japanese wasn’t great, it _was passable, and better than most Americans.
The driver grunted an acknowledgement, and off they sped into the night. Along the way, Markus watched the lit streets for anything recognizable. Finding little beyond 7-11 gas stations and some obvious convenience stores, he quizzed the driver.
“_Excuse me? Where can I find a stylist? I’d like to look my best for my meeting._”
“_A stylist? For hair? You’re as bald as a baby. Or do you mean that mop on your face?_”
Markus looked sharply at the rearview mirror, only to see the smiling, mirthful eyes of the driver. He laughed softly. “_Yes, friend. I’d like to get this unruly mop tamed. Do you have any suggestions?_”
The driver was quiet for a moment, apparently thinking. “_One moment, please. I have to call him,_” he said as he pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number.
“_Yes? Gen-kun? You want to make some money? Got an American here. Needs his beard taken care of professionally. Says he has an important business meeting tomorrow. Where? I dunno. Let me ask._” The driver spoke up to Markus. “_Hey, man. Where did you say this meeting was?_”
“_Uh…A place called Kitcho Arashiyama, I think. Why?_”
The driver let out a low whistle. “_Kitcho, huh? They must have some money. Hey! This offer will be amazing, man! You better take it. Not everyone can afford to eat there._”
“_Really? I think we are just meeting for tea, though. I don’t even know this man. Just got a letter out of the blue, and here I am. A lonely gaijin here in your amazingly beautiful country for the first, and probably last, time. I hope I’ve not been tricked. The gods have been merciless toward me lately,_” Markus replied.
“_Gen-kun? You hear all that? He’s going to Kitcho. Do him up right, and we might be taken care of, too! Okay. Okay. I’ll tell him. Bye, bro._”
Markus laughed softly. “_I’ll tell you what. If I land this job, or whatever it’s going to be, and it’s lucrative enough, I’ll call on you and your brother to drive me around and make sure I am as presentable as possible, and I’ll make sure you two are taken care of. How does that sound?_”
The driver looked up in the mirror, awe evident on his face. “_You would do that? A lowly cab driver like me and a hair stylist like my brother?_” he asked quietly.
“_Absolutely. I reward kindness with kindness my friend. I don’t have much right now, but if this goes well enough, I will take care of you and your brother._”
“You have a deal, American. What is your name?”
“Your English is pretty good. I am Markus Barton. And you are?”
“I am glad to meet you, Barton-san. I am Kimura Atsuki.”
“Thank you, Kimura-san.”
Atsuki grunted an acknowledgement and refocused on the road. In a few more minutes, they arrived at the small inn.
Markus got out, retrieving his bag from the back seat. Atsuki exited as well, taking a good look at this surprisingly kind, yet rude, American.
He saw a man, heavily built, with a bushy black beard that reached down to the middle of his chest. Broad shoulders that wouldn’t be out of place for a farmhand, but decidedly odd for a salaryman. A slightly too small t-shirt clung to his body, showing a bit of a beer belly, and most interesting of all, he seemed to be wearing a black skirt.
“_Barton-san? Why do you wear a woman’s skirt?_”
“_Hmm? Oh this? This isn’t a woman’s skirt. It’s called a kilt. It comes from the people of the British Isles. My family comes from that area, and once I tried it on, I was hooked. No pants for me ever again._”
“_Huh. You learn something new every day._”
“_Here is my contact information, Kimura-san. I will call on you should I take the offer. By the way, do you know of any decent restaurants or noodle shops in the area? I’m hungry._”
Atsuki laughed loudly. “_You were my last fare. I will wait, and then take my new friend out for dinner at a good place. Go. Check in, and I’ll see you back here._”
Markus smiled and nodded. He rushed inside and took care of business, being shown to a room on the ground floor. He deposited his bag inside, just past the genkan, locked the door, and returned to his new friend, hopping back in the taxi, to explore what Kyoto had to offer.
Atsuki took an appraising look at Markus. Nodding his head with a finality, he said, “_I am taking you to a good ramen-ya. You say you are hungry, and I say you will eat. Let’s go!_” He smiled and slapped the dashboard of his taxi, taking off into the night.
Atsuki and Markus chatted in a mish-mash of English and Japanese, getting to know each other as well as they could in the fifteen minute drive to the ramen-ya.
It turned out that Atsuki was recently divorced from his wife of four years and had no children. He and his brother, Gen, lived in a modest apartment not terribly far from the Rikyuan that Markus was staying at. He was an avid gamer, something of a shut-in, and had a collection of U.S coins.
“I am only missing the Arkansas _(he pronounced the final ‘S’), and the Marysland state quarters for 2022. I have the other years already. They are in mint condition and sealed in special bags so that they do not tarnish. Pretty neat, huh?_”
Markus gave him a lopsided grin. “_Have you ever met another American, Kimura-san?_” When Atsuki gave him a negative answer, Markus nodded. “_Very well. I shall help you some. I’m not really into coin collecting, but I think it’s pretty neat that you are. You’re the only person I know who is, if I’m honest. The state names are pronounced like this: Arr-can-saw and Maryland. There isn’t an ‘s’ in Maryland. I know it seems like there should be, but there isn’t. I can’t really tell you why Arkansas is said the way that it is, though. I don’t think I have either of those two quarters on me, though. Let me look._”
Markus dug around in his left pocket, pulling out the change there. He shuffled through the coins, not expecting to find anything larger than a dime, but came across a quarter. He unlocked his phone, using the screen to illuminate his findings. It was a 2022 quarter, but it was Hawai’i, not either of the ones Atsuki needed.
“_Nope. Just Hawai’i. Sorry, man._”
“_Bah. Thank you for looking, though. You’re a good man. I appreciate it very much. Ah. We are here. It may be just a little hole in the wall, but it happens to be one of my favorites. I apologize for the traffic. We would be here in half the time, had it not been bad,_” Atsuki said.
Markus smiled. “_Fifteen minutes is a short drive where I’m from. Don’t worry about it. Let’s just enjoy some ramen, yeah?_” he asked.
Atsuki nodded with a smile, and the pair walked in. Markus noticed that the shop was sparsely populated with people, and the gentleman behind the counter was relaxing with a book. Decidedly odd.
“_Yo, Komamura-san! Two bowls of tonkatsu with lots of chashu for me and my new friend, Barton-san! Firm, please. Thank you._”
Komamura grunted a reply and set about making the requested ramen, and the pair sat at the counter. Atsuki ordered a beer for both of them, and the two chatted and ate for quite some time.
At least until the shop began to get busy. When Atsuki noticed the line beginning to form outside, he paid the bill and thanked the chef.
Komamura glared at Markus for a moment, his face devoid of expression. “_Why did you bring a gaijin to my shop, punk?_”
“_This gaijin, my friend, has an interview tomorrow at Kitcho. He has promised to take care of my brother and I if he gets the job. Right, Barton-san?_” Atsuki shot back.
“_He is right, Komamura-san. If I do well, I will do what I can for the brothers. Kimura-san has been very helpful to me, and if his brother can tame this mop on my face, I’ll help him, too,_” Markus said, gazing softly at the older man.
Komamura grunted a reply and returned to his customers. As the pair were leaving, he shouted “_Good luck, Barton-san! You’re still a punk, Kimura-kun!_” and laughed loudly.
“_What was that about, Kimura-san?_” Markus asked as they got back in the car.
“_Ahhh… I might have stolen a few bowls in my younger days from old man Komamura-san. He never called the cops or anything. Just made me and my brother clean his shop when I did. He’s a good man, and I try to pay him back every time I come, but he never takes it. So, in return, I try to drive as much business to him that I can,_” Atsuki replied, somewhat embarrassed.
“_I see. Well, it is good that you are trying to correct your past wrongs. I’d say the old man has a fondness for you. You’re a good man, Kimura-san,_” Markus stated with finality.
“_Bah. I’m still a punk kid. I’m just lucky it was Komamura-san that I stole from. Other ramen-ya are said to be tied with our local gangs. I don’t ever want to step out of line again, so I stick with Komamura-san. He’s safe. The last time a gang tried to tangle with him, he sent them all running. He may not look like it now, but the old man used to be quite the fighter back in his younger days,_” Atsuki explained.
Markus nodded and yawned. He checked his phone. Good grief, it was already two in the morning. “_Kimura-san. It’s late, and I’ve been on a long flight. Plus I’ve my meeting tomorrow. I’m sorry to ask, but could you please take me back to my room?_” he asked, his face a mask of apology.
“_What? How late?_” Atsuki checked his watch, and saw the time. “_Oh shit. I should get home, too. My shift starts in four hours,_” Atsuki explained, heading back to Markus’ room.
The pair rode in relative silence for the remarkably shorter trip back. Markus exited the vehicle and turned to Atsuki. “_Thank you, Kimura-san. If tonight and tomorrow are all I have in Japan, You’ve made it all the richer. Be safe getting home,_” he said with a smile and a polite bow.
“_Let me know how it goes, yeah? I’ll send you a message so you have my number. Good luck, my friend!_” he called back, and drove off into the night.
Markus stumbled to his door, and went in. Shucking his shoes at the genkan, he stripped and fell into the surprisingly soft bed. He was asleep in moments.
Waking to his alarm always sucked. Markus reached out blindly and grabbed his phone. Shit, it was already noon. He checked his messages and saw a few from an unknown number. It was Atsuki. Apparently, he and his brother would be over in roughly forty-five minutes.
That gave Markus just enough time to shower and get dressed for his meeting. Hopefully. He scrambled for the shower, and got himself clean and dressed in thirty minutes. He was sitting there on the bed when he heard a knock at the door.
Opening the door, he saw the smiling face of Atsuki and a younger, much more shy man behind him.
“_Barton-san! I have brought my brother, Gen-kun and he will tame that mop on your face! Ha!_” Atsuki said jovially as he and his brother bowed respectfully and entered the small room.
“_I am so sorry, Barton-san. I speak no English. Forgive me,_” Gen said sorrowfully.
“_Think nothing of it, my friend. I understand you well enough. I only hope my Japanese is good enough for you,_” Markus replied with a soft smile on his face.
Gen nodded with a smile and set his bags down. He certainly carried a lot of product with him. Markus watched with interest as he set various amber-colored glass vials down, along with a bottle of yellowish oil. He also set out several tins with screw-on tops. Most interestingly, he had what looked like a spice shaker filled with coffee beans.
“_So, what do you have here?_” Markus asked the younger man.
“_I have various scented oils that I will blend for you to bring out your manly scent. It will be tailored specifically to you, Barton-san. No other may wear it and smell quite so nice,_” Gen explained.
“_Neat. So what is in the metal boxes?_”
“_Different lightly scented balms to help moisturize your “mop” of a beard. How do you want it styled?_” he asked.
“_I was thinking of a pair of braids, honestly. Or a single, thicker one if you think that would look better. I also brought some jewelry to put in it,_” Markus explained.
“_Show me._”
Markus fished in his bag and pulled out a small bag with a few metal beads in it. They all had different designs. Gen gently took it and selected a few after some moments of thought. \ \ “_These are what you will wear. Now be quiet. I need you still, calm and quiet for the next few minutes,_” Gen said to Markus.
Markus nodded, closing his eyes as Gen closed his own, centering himself.
“_I will drive you, Barton-san. You need not worry with me around!_”
“_Quiet, brother. I am concentrating._”
“Sorry.”
Gen sat still for several more minutes, then opened his eyes. He leaned in, sniffing Markus by his neck, behind his ears and even the top of his head. He lifted his arms and smelled his armpits, his back and his chest. Markus was certain he’d just been violated, but was too intrigued to say anything.
Wordlessly, Gen turned to his vials and opened three of them. Inhaling the aroma of the coffee first, he sniffed each vial in turn. Shaking his head, he closed one, and selected another. This pattern went on with periodic sniffs from the coffee until Gen had three vials in front of him. Taking an empty vial from another bag, he opened it. Wordlessly he dripped several droplets of the various scented oils into the empty vial, then filled it from the bottle of yellowish oil. He shook this concoction up, thoroughly mixing the blend.
Next, he opened each of the tins in turn, sniffing them and rejecting a few. In the end, he had two left, and proffered them to Markus.
“_Choose._”
Markus, confused, took first one, and then the other, smelling each. “_What does the oil smell like? Am I to pick one that compliments it?_” he asked.
“_No. They both do that. Which do you prefer?_” was the answer he received.
“_This one, then,_” Markus said, handing one to Gen.
Gen took the small tin and set it aside, and then concentrated on Markus’ beard. It was freshly cleaned and slightly damp. Gen took a towel and gently dried Markus’ face. Afterwards, he generously applied the oil to his hands and massaged it into Markus’ face. Markus recoiled slightly from the unusual scent, then gave a nod of approval.
Gen grinned. His gift had yet to let him down. He oiled his clients face, then massaged the balm into his hair. Such a lovely beard. Long, thick and curly. Just as it should be. Once his beard was tamed, he put a pair of braids in it, each hanging down from roughly the corners of his mouth. Once he was satisfied with their length and evenness, he slipped a barrel bead over each braid. They had a curious symbol on them, but his favorite were the pair of oni skulls the man had, that he slipped on under the barrel beads. These were surely the secret to his amazing looks and presence. To have a pair of oni looking after you was especially noteworthy. In his mind, at least.
Finishing his work, he handed Markus a mirror. Markus examined himself and smiled. “_This is perfect, my friend. Let’s get the final ties on them, and we can head out!_” Markus exclaimed as he looked at his phone. It was nearing three-thirty. How had two hours elapsed already?
Gen finished the work in front of him and nodded. “_I can do no more. I would surely be treading upon God’s territory if I tried. Get him to his meeting, Brother. I have a good feeling!_” Gen exclaimed.
Markus thanked the younger man and pressed a few bills into his hand. He rose, slipping on his new boots, and together with Atsuki, walked out to the car.
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After sitting, Markus realized that he would need to exchange his money for the local currency. He rushed back into the airport and found an exchange service. He traded nearly a thousand dollars for yen, receiving nearly 140 thousand yen, in bills and coins. Thanking the trader, he rushed back outside to wait for his bus.
As he was waiting, he spied a taxi nearby and wondered if it would be better. He walked over and knocked on the window.
“I’m sorry, excuse me? How much to get to Rikyuan Kyoto Nishikyogoku?”
The driver blinked twice and looked at this rude American. “Nine thousand. No less.”
Markus slid into the back seat and fished out ten thousand yen, and handed it to the driver.
“Thank you, sir. Today is my first day in your country, and I would just like to get to my room and sleep. I have an important meeting tomorrow, and I’d like to be as refreshed as possible,” While Markus’ Japanese wasn’t great, it was passable, and better than most Americans.
The driver grunted an acknowledgement, and off they sped into the night. Along the way, Markus watched the lit streets for anything recognizable. Finding little beyond 7-11 gas stations and some obvious convenience stores, he quizzed the driver.
“Excuse me? Where can I find a stylist? I’d like to look my best for my meeting.”
“A stylist? For hair? You’re as bald as a baby. Or do you mean that mop on your face?”
Markus looked sharply at the rearview mirror, only to see the smiling, mirthful eyes of the driver. He laughed softly. “Yes, friend. I’d like to get this unruly mop tamed. Do you have any suggestions?”
The driver was quiet for a moment, apparently thinking. “One moment, please. I have to call him,” he said as he pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number.
“Yes? Gen-kun? You want to make some money? Got an American here. Needs his beard taken care of professionally. Says he has an important business meeting tomorrow. Where? I dunno. Let me ask.” The driver spoke up to Markus. “Hey, man. Where did you say this meeting was?”
“Uh…A place called Kitcho Arashiyama, I think. Why?”
The driver let out a low whistle. “Kitcho, huh? They must have some money. Hey! This offer will be amazing, man! You better take it. Not everyone can afford to eat there.”
“Really? I think we are just meeting for tea, though. I don’t even know this man. Just got a letter out of the blue, and here I am. A lonely gaijin here in your amazingly beautiful country for the first, and probably last, time. I hope I’ve not been tricked. The gods have been merciless toward me lately,” Markus replied.
“Gen-kun? You hear all that? He’s going to Kitcho. Do him up right, and we might be taken care of, too! Okay. Okay. I’ll tell him. Bye, bro.”
Markus laughed softly. “I’ll tell you what. If I land this job, or whatever it’s going to be, and it’s lucrative enough, I’ll call on you and your brother to drive me around and make sure I am as presentable as possible, and I’ll make sure you two are taken care of. How does that sound?”
The driver looked up in the mirror, awe evident on his face. “You would do that? A lowly cab driver like me and a hair stylist like my brother?” he asked quietly.
“Absolutely. I reward kindness with kindness my friend. I don’t have much right now, but if this goes well enough, I will take care of you and your brother.”
“You have a deal, American. What is your name?”
“Your English is pretty good. I am Markus Barton. And you are?”
“I am glad to meet you, Barton-san. I am Kimura Atsuki.”
“Thank you, Kimura-san.”
Atsuki grunted an acknowledgement and refocused on the road. In a few more minutes, they arrived at the small inn.
Markus got out, retrieving his bag from the back seat. Atsuki exited as well, taking a good look at this surprisingly kind, yet rude, American.
He saw a man, heavily built, with a bushy black beard that reached down to the middle of his chest. Broad shoulders that wouldn’t be out of place for a farmhand, but decidedly odd for a salaryman. A slightly too small t-shirt clung to his body, showing a bit of a beer belly, and most interesting of all, he seemed to be wearing a black skirt.
“Barton-san? Why do you wear a woman’s skirt?”
“Hmm? Oh this? This isn’t a woman’s skirt. It’s called a kilt. It comes from the people of the British Isles. My family comes from that area, and once I tried it on, I was hooked. No pants for me ever again.”
“Huh. You learn something new every day.”
“Here is my contact information, Kimura-san. I will call on you should I take the offer. By the way, do you know of any decent restaurants or noodle shops in the area? I’m hungry.”
Atsuki laughed loudly. “You were my last fare. I will wait, and then take my new friend out for dinner at a good place. Go. Check in, and I’ll see you back here.”
Markus smiled and nodded. He rushed inside and took care of business, being shown to a room on the ground floor. He deposited his bag inside, just past the genkan, locked the door, and returned to his new friend, hopping back in the taxi, to explore what Kyoto had to offer.
Atsuki took an appraising look at Markus. Nodding his head with a finality, he said, “I am taking you to a good ramen-ya. You say you are hungry, and I say you will eat. Let’s go!” He smiled and slapped the dashboard of his taxi, taking off into the night.
Atsuki and Markus chatted in a mish-mash of English and Japanese, getting to know each other as well as they could in the fifteen minute drive to the ramen-ya.
It turned out that Atsuki was recently divorced from his wife of four years and had no children. He and his brother, Gen, lived in a modest apartment not terribly far from the Rikyuan that Markus was staying at. He was an avid gamer, something of a shut-in, and had a collection of U.S coins.
“I am only missing the Arkansas (he pronounced the final ‘S’), and the Marysland state quarters for 2022. I have the other years already. They are in mint condition and sealed in special bags so that they do not tarnish. Pretty neat, huh?”
Markus gave him a lopsided grin. “Have you ever met another American, Kimura-san?” When Atsuki gave him a negative answer, Markus nodded. “Very well. I shall help you some. I’m not really into coin collecting, but I think it’s pretty neat that you are. You’re the only person I know who is, if I’m honest. The state names are pronounced like this: Arr-can-saw and Maryland. There isn’t an ‘s’ in Maryland. I know it seems like there should be, but there isn’t. I can’t really tell you why Arkansas is said the way that it is, though. I don’t think I have either of those two quarters on me, though. Let me look.”
Markus dug around in his left pocket, pulling out the change there. He shuffled through the coins, not expecting to find anything larger than a dime, but came across a quarter. He unlocked his phone, using the screen to illuminate his findings. It was a 2022 quarter, but it was Hawai’i, not either of the ones Atsuki needed.
“Nope. Just Hawai’i. Sorry, man.”
“Bah. Thank you for looking, though. You’re a good man. I appreciate it very much. Ah. We are here. It may be just a little hole in the wall, but it happens to be one of my favorites. I apologize for the traffic. We would be here in half the time, had it not been bad,” Atsuki said.
Markus smiled. “Fifteen minutes is a short drive where I’m from. Don’t worry about it. Let’s just enjoy some ramen, yeah?” he asked.
Atsuki nodded with a smile, and the pair walked in. Markus noticed that the shop was sparsely populated with people, and the gentleman behind the counter was relaxing with a book. Decidedly odd.
“Yo, Komamura-san! Two bowls of tonkatsu with lots of chashu for me and my new friend, Barton-san! Firm, please. Thank you.”
Komamura grunted a reply and set about making the requested ramen, and the pair sat at the counter. Atsuki ordered a beer for both of them, and the two chatted and ate for quite some time.
At least until the shop began to get busy. When Atsuki noticed the line beginning to form outside, he paid the bill and thanked the chef.
Komamura glared at Markus for a moment, his face devoid of expression. “Why did you bring a gaijin to my shop, punk?”
“This gaijin, my friend, has an interview tomorrow at Kitcho. He has promised to take care of my brother and I if he gets the job. Right, Barton-san?” Atsuki shot back.
“He is right, Komamura-san. If I do well, I will do what I can for the brothers. Kimura-san has been very helpful to me, and if his brother can tame this mop on my face, I’ll help him, too,” Markus said, gazing softly at the older man.
Komamura grunted a reply and returned to his customers. As the pair were leaving, he shouted “Good luck, Barton-san! You’re still a punk, Kimura-kun!” and laughed loudly.
“What was that about, Kimura-san?” Markus asked as they got back in the car.
“Ahhh… I might have stolen a few bowls in my younger days from old man Komamura-san. He never called the cops or anything. Just made me and my brother clean his shop when I did. He’s a good man, and I try to pay him back every time I come, but he never takes it. So, in return, I try to drive as much business to him that I can,” Atsuki replied, somewhat embarrassed.
“I see. Well, it is good that you are trying to correct your past wrongs. I’d say the old man has a fondness for you. You’re a good man, Kimura-san,” Markus stated with finality.
“Bah. I’m still a punk kid. I’m just lucky it was Komamura-san that I stole from. Other ramen-ya are said to be tied with our local gangs. I don’t ever want to step out of line again, so I stick with Komamura-san. He’s safe. The last time a gang tried to tangle with him, he sent them all running. He may not look like it now, but the old man used to be quite the fighter back in his younger days,” Atsuki explained.
Markus nodded and yawned. He checked his phone. Good grief, it was already two in the morning. “Kimura-san. It’s late, and I’ve been on a long flight. Plus I’ve my meeting tomorrow. I’m sorry to ask, but could you please take me back to my room?” he asked, his face a mask of apology.
“What? How late?” Atsuki checked his watch, and saw the time. “Oh shit. I should get home, too. My shift starts in four hours,” Atsuki explained, heading back to Markus’ room.
The pair rode in relative silence for the remarkably shorter trip back. Markus exited the vehicle and turned to Atsuki. “Thank you, Kimura-san. If tonight and tomorrow are all I have in Japan, You’ve made it all the richer. Be safe getting home,” he said with a smile and a polite bow.
“Let me know how it goes, yeah? I’ll send you a message so you have my number. Good luck, my friend!” he called back, and drove off into the night.
Markus stumbled to his door, and went in. Shucking his shoes at the genkan, he stripped and fell into the surprisingly soft bed. He was asleep in moments.
**********
Waking to his alarm always sucked. Markus reached out blindly and grabbed his phone. Shit, it was already noon. He checked his messages and saw a few from an unknown number. It was Atsuki. Apparently, he and his brother would be over in roughly forty-five minutes.
That gave Markus just enough time to shower and get dressed for his meeting. Hopefully. He scrambled for the shower, and got himself clean and dressed in thirty minutes. He was sitting there on the bed when he heard a knock at the door.
Opening the door, he saw the smiling face of Atsuki and a younger, much more shy man behind him.
“Barton-san! I have brought my brother, Gen-kun and he will tame that mop on your face! Ha!” Atsuki said jovially as he and his brother bowed respectfully and entered the small room.
“I am so sorry, Barton-san. I speak no English. Forgive me,” Gen said sorrowfully.
“Think nothing of it, my friend. I understand you well enough. I only hope my Japanese is good enough for you,” Markus replied with a soft smile on his face.
Gen nodded with a smile and set his bags down. He certainly carried a lot of product with him. Markus watched with interest as he set various amber-colored glass vials down, along with a bottle of yellowish oil. He also set out several tins with screw-on tops. Most interestingly, he had what looked like a spice shaker filled with coffee beans.
“So, what do you have here?” Markus asked the younger man.
“I have various scented oils that I will blend for you to bring out your manly scent. It will be tailored specifically to you, Barton-san. No other may wear it and smell quite so nice,” Gen explained.
“Neat. So what is in the metal boxes?”
“Different lightly scented balms to help moisturize your “mop” of a beard. How do you want it styled?” he asked.
“I was thinking of a pair of braids, honestly. Or a single, thicker one if you think that would look better. I also brought some jewelry to put in it,” Markus explained.
“Show me.”
Markus fished in his bag and pulled out a small bag with a few metal beads in it. They all had different designs. Gen gently took it and selected a few after some moments of thought. “These are what you will wear. Now be quiet. I need you still, calm and quiet for the next few minutes,” Gen said to Markus.
Markus nodded, closing his eyes as Gen closed his own, centering himself.
“I will drive you, Barton-san. You need not worry with me around!”
“Quiet, brother. I am concentrating.”
“Sorry.”
Gen sat still for several more minutes, then opened his eyes. He leaned in, sniffing Markus by his neck, behind his ears and even the top of his head. He lifted his arms and smelled his armpits, his back and his chest. Markus was certain he’d just been violated, but was too intrigued to say anything.
Wordlessly, Gen turned to his vials and opened three of them. Inhaling the aroma of the coffee first, he sniffed each vial in turn. Shaking his head, he closed one, and selected another. This pattern went on with periodic sniffs from the coffee until Gen had three vials in front of him. Taking an empty vial from another bag, he opened it. Wordlessly he dripped several droplets of the various scented oils into the empty vial, then filled it from the bottle of yellowish oil. He shook this concoction up, thoroughly mixing the blend.
Next, he opened each of the tins in turn, sniffing them and rejecting a few. In the end, he had two left, and proffered them to Markus.
“Choose.”
Markus, confused, took first one, and then the other, smelling each. “What does the oil smell like? Am I to pick one that compliments it?” he asked.
“No. They both do that. Which do you prefer?” was the answer he received.
“This one, then,” Markus said, handing one to Gen.
Gen took the small tin and set it aside, and then concentrated on Markus’ beard. It was freshly cleaned and slightly damp. Gen took a towel and gently dried Markus’ face. Afterwards, he generously applied the oil to his hands and massaged it into Markus’ face. Markus recoiled slightly from the unusual scent, then gave a nod of approval.
Gen grinned. His gift had yet to let him down. He oiled his clients face, then massaged the balm into his hair. Such a lovely beard. Long, thick and curly. Just as it should be. Once his beard was tamed, he put a pair of braids in it, each hanging down from roughly the corners of his mouth. Once he was satisfied with their length and evenness, he slipped a barrel bead over each braid. They had a curious symbol on them, but his favorite were the pair of oni skulls the man had, that he slipped on under the barrel beads. These were surely the secret to his amazing looks and presence. To have a pair of oni looking after you was especially noteworthy. In his mind, at least.
Finishing his work, he handed Markus a mirror. Markus examined himself and smiled. “This is perfect, my friend. Let’s get the final ties on them, and we can head out!” Markus exclaimed as he looked at his phone. It was nearing three-thirty. How had two hours elapsed already?
Gen finished the work in front of him and nodded. “I can do no more. I would surely be treading upon God’s territory if I tried. Get him to his meeting, Brother. I have a good feeling!” Gen exclaimed.
Markus thanked the younger man and pressed a few bills into his hand. He rose, slipping on his new boots, and together with Atsuki, walked out to the car.

This is the story info for Real Bout Fatal Fury Special.

• Real Bout Special strategy guide

Terry Bogard

Beloved Eternal Hungry Wolf

Profile
Fighting-style:	Martial Arts
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Freeter
Birthday:	1971.3.15
Age:	25
Height:	182cm
Weight:	82kg
Blood-type:	O
Hobbies:	Video Games
Favorite Food:	Fast Food
Dislikes:	Slugs
Most Important Things:	Jeff's Keepsake Gloves
Favorite Sport:	Basketball
Favorite Music:	Rock
Special Skill:	Accurately guessing a woman's measurements

The reason he started fighting was because the hatred that burned within. He wanted to become stronger in order to avenge his adoptive father. He doesn't really remember his parents. "My dad is Jeff Bogard... I'm going to be strong like Jeff."
Today, he has grown into one of the world's top-class martial artists. What did he find by crossing fists with so many opponents? He's not looking for answers with hatred. Perhaps he was just starving for affection.
"I've come to believe that fighting is the best way to understand each other. Everyone who fights has a reason and if they fight, they will understand."
He said this with a smile prepared for the real bout. He not only fights for strength but also with his opponent's heart in mind. That's how he fights.

Andy Bogard

Trains to surpass his brother

Profile
Fighting-style:	Koppō
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Shiranui Style Taijutsu Instructor
Birthday:	1972.8.16
Age:	24
Height:	171cm
Weight:	67kg
Blood-type:	A
Hobbies:	Training
Favorite Food:	Natto spaghetti
Dislikes:	Dogs
Most Important Things:	Photos from his training (with his master Hanzo Shiranui)
Favorite Sport:	Short Track
Favorite Music:	Silence
Special Skill:	Fasting

His posture is perfect no matter what he does. He has a rather small build but makes up for it with finely-honed senses.
He never hides his attitude even in battle. He specializes in sharp and speedy ariel attacks as a means of exhausting his opponent.
“By sharpening my nerves, I can imagine how the opponent will move next. If I can read his movements, I have the confidence to strike from any distance. Even if it's at a nose-to-nose distance. ”
He has made it his goal to surpass his older brother Terry Bogard. For that reason, he has studied all kinds of martial arts. But he has never been able to win against Terry's wild skills.

Joe Higashi

Hot-blooded Japanese Muay Thai boy

Profile
Fighting-style:	Muay Thai
Nationality:	Japanese
Profession:	Muay Thai Fighter
Birthday:	1972.3.29
Age:	24
Height:	180cm
Weight:	71kg
Blood-type:	AB
Hobbies:	Storage
Favorite Food:	Fried crocodile
Dislikes:	Dressing up
Most Important Things:	His Headband
Favorite Sport:	General martial arts
Favorite Music:	De Enka
Special Skill:	Numbers (99% success rate and personal conversation)

Joe Higashi, a man who can move anyone with his unconventional fighting style. He does not know the meaning of the word "retreat". He is arguably the greatest Muay Thai champion in history and is a spectacle of natural talent.
He says, "I'm thinking about the look on my face when I get punched. Now I feel like I'm going to get punched with a cool face." He may look like a jerk, but he is a real hero to the poor children of Thailand.
"I'm holding a muay thai class with the neighborhood kids, but they're dark. Everyone is desperately trying to get stronger because they can't eat, but they have a strong sense of duty and don't enjoy it. I'm not having fun That's why I won't lose in order to teach them how to fight a real bout."
He spoke really happily, his expression was impressive.

Mai Shiranui

Freedom is the way I live.

Profile
Fighting-style:	Shiranui Ninjutsu
Nationality:	Japanese
Profession:	Successor of Shiranui Ninjutsu
Birthday:	1974.1.1
Age:	23
Height:	165cm
Weight:	46kg
Blood-type:	B
Measurements:	87-54-90
Hobbies:	Dieting
Favorite Food:	Osechi
Dislikes:	Spiders
Most Important Things:	Grandmother's Memento Hairpin
Favorite Sport:	Japanese badminton
Favorite Music:	Heavy Metal
Special Skill:	Japanese dressmaking

Despite being a woman, she has become the rightful successor to the Shiranui Ninjutsu. Though, she has conflicting feelings about it.
"Because I don't know anything about her. I didn't know about Mochizuki at all..."
After the death of Shiranui Hanzo, her education has been under the supervision of senior citizens known as the Five Elders. They are Hanzo's beloved disciples, and they seem to have considerable skill, but due to their age, they have retired from teaching practical skills. Mai and Andy are learning from these old people. And although Andy enjoys their lessons, Mai doesn't seem to like them at all. For the old people, she was teaching them everything about their relationship with Mochizuki...
"Because I'm studying surrounded by grandpas..."
It seems her selfishness hasn't changed at all.

Sokaku Mochizuki

A man who fights with inner Shura

Profile
Fighting-style:	Shoden Mudo-ryu Bujutsu
Nationality:	Japanese
Profession:	chief priest
Birthday:	1946.7.3
Age:	50
Height:	176cm
Weight:	86kg
Blood-type:	A
Hobbies:	Shogi
Favorite Food:	Sweets (Shiruko Anmitsu)
Dislikes:	Shiranui Ninjutsu
Most Important Things:	Japanese sword (Memento of his teacher)
Favorite Sport:	Light swimming
Favorite Music:	Rokyoku
Special Skill:	Calming the spirit

He is the master of Shoden Mudo-ryu, and continues to use the Book of Secrets to cut off the root of Shura. As a result, he is attacked by Shura's delusions, losing control of his mind, and slowly becoming Shura itself. Could this also be due to the magical power of the Book of Secrets?
"I was prepared for this to happen. It's not like I'm completely shredded yet. The real bout is now."
After being defeated in the battle against the Shiranui-ryu, the Shoden Mudō-ryū established Shura-gari as the way of life for the school. And his psychokinesis was said to be the most powerful in history. Now, the battle will be with oneself. Because if he turns into a Shura, no one will be able to stop his power. His struggle for who he is may end Mudo-ryu's history, but that may be Mudo-ryu's long-awaited fate. How will he end up...

Bob Wilson

Cheerful Capoeirista

Profile
Fighting-style:	Capoeira
Nationality:	Brazilian
Profession:	Pao Pao Cafe 2 Manager
Birthday:	1974.5.15
Age:	22
Height:	184cm
Weight:	84kg
Blood-type:	O
Hobbies:	Dance (samba and reggae dance)
Favorite Food:	Fruits (apples, pineapples)
Dislikes:	Insects
Most Important Things:	His Family
Favorite Sport:	Basketball
Favorite Music:	Acid Jazz
Special Skill:	Ribbing

Bob Wilson, a proud Capoeirista. Together with his teacher, Richard Meyer, he continues to challenge all styles of martial arts.
From dance-like footwork to a variety of kicking techniques, he unleashes endlessly. If a stranger jumps in, he will surely make them dance their dance of death.
“There are many great martial artists like Terry in the world. But this time I won't lose to anyone. My capoeira has no blind spots."
His capoeira, which he claims to be the best, certainly has the beauty of perfection. The Pao Pao Cafe is bustling with customers every day to watch the beautiful martial arts. Their tireless challenge continues.

Hon-Fu

Kyushu boy from Hong Kong

Profile
Fighting-style:	Kung Fu
Nationality:	Hong Kong
Profession:	Detective
Birthday:	1966.8.21
Age:	30
Height:	176cm
Weight:	78kg
Blood-type:	O
Hobbies:	Sting operations (Currently on Confinement)
Favorite Food:	Jiaozi
Dislikes:	Rules
Most Important Things:	His Lover
Favorite Sport:	Cycling
Favorite Music:	Any female idol song
Special Skill:	Make things awkward

He still has a seat in the Hong Kong police force, and his reckless investigations continue to make the police's upper echelons nervous. On the other hand, he seems to be very much loved by the locals, and his whereabouts can usually be traced out by asking the townsfolk. Detectives who are this open to him are rare, but his ability to take action during investigations is extraordinary, and criminals who are targeted almost never escape.
He has never fired a gun in any of his investigations. He owns a pistol, but his prowess is questionable, and when he uses it, it is exclusively as a throwing weapon.
His favorite weapon is the nunchaku. Having mastered kung fu, he started using nunchaku under the influence of Bruce Reichi, a skill difficult for an average martial artist. However, he put on a sly face and said, "This is easier to use than a pistol. I'll just use this instead." He plays dumb but is a lot stronger than he looks.

Blue Mary

An agent who fulfills the request perfectly

Profile
Fighting-style:	Command Sambo
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Private Detective
Birthday:	1973.2.4
Age:	23
Height:	168cm
Weight:	49kg
Blood-type:	AB
Measurements:	86-54-85
Hobbies:	Motorcycle touring
Favorite Food:	Beef and Broth
Dislikes:	Cats
Most Important Things:	Leather Jacket
Favorite Sport:	Baseball
Favorite Music:	Ballads
Special Skill:	Forgetting about painful events

Born into a family that has produced excellent martial artists for generations, she is active as a free agent. Her good blood blossomed especially in her mastery of Commando Sambo. At first glance, she appears to be an ordinary woman with an intimidating physique. However, her mastery over Command Sambo has enough destructive power to easily destroy the human body.
"There are many fragile parts of the human body. All I have to do is to accurately capture them. Besides, I can't choose where my job is, so I search for the most effective way to fight on the spot."
She constantly researches and practices how to fight without waste. And as an agent, she can get the best results in any situation and any request.
"I'm the only true fighting professional in the world, and I won't lose to a weak martial artist. ”

Franco Bash

Burning! Father

Profile
Fighting-style:	Kickboxing
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Kickboxer (Recently returned to active duty)
Birthday:	1963.9.16
Age:	33
Height:	195cm
Weight:	115kg
Blood-type:	A
Hobbies:	Bodybuilding
Favorite Food:	Curry Rice
Dislikes:	People who bully his son
Most Important Things:	His son (Junior)
Favorite Sport:	Ice Hockey
Favorite Music:	Jazz
Special Skill:	Beer Chugging

Franco once retired from the kickboxing world for the sake of his family, who preferred stability over wealth and fame. But, his instincts did not allow him to forget the fight. With the understanding of his family, he made a comeback and returned to the championship as if his body was too blessed.
His super-heavyweight punches terrified his opponents and gradually isolated him.
"It's no fun if you don't have an opponent. From now on, I won't choose a ring. Any martial artist will be my opponent."
With no opponents in the kickboxing world, he ignited his passion for mixed martial arts fights. Since he is naturally good at punching, he is eager to fight against a super-heavyweight boxer. If Axel Hawk accepts the challenge, we'll see the biggest fistfight of the century...

Ryuji Yamazaki

Believe in his own strength

Profile
Fighting-style:	Self-taught Homicide Karate
Nationality:	Japanese
Profession:	Dark Broker
Birthday:	1963.8.8
Age:	33
Height:	192cm
Weight:	96kg
Blood-type:	A
Hobbies:	Knife Collecting
Favorite Food:	Horsemeat sashimi
Dislikes:	Labor
Most Important Things:	Anything related to his interests
Favorite Sport:	None
Favorite Music:	None
Special Skill:	Has no trouble going three days without sleep

Karate is the basis of his fighting style, but it can be said that his style has been established in another world of martial arts. His living environment consisted of levels of "live" or "die", "kill" or "be killed". He believes that martial arts with rules are a playful gathering of the most untrustworthy people.
"Why do you fight? Hehe... I like it. I just love the sound of bones cracking and flesh being cut."
He thinks there is no point in fighting other than carnage. He lives and breathes carnage. Trusting only his strength, he is insensitive and has nothing to bear. A wild and real bout feeds him, and that's what makes him terrifying.

Jin Chonshu

The strongest fist unleashed by the soul dwelling in the body.

Profile
Fighting-style:	Diwangquan
Nationality:	Chinese
Profession:	Unemployed
Birthday:	1980.6.6
Age:	16
Height:	170cm
Weight:	Unclear
Blood-type:	Unclear
Hobbies:	Trip
Favorite Food:	Spicy Foods
Dislikes:	Deep sea fishes (he's scared of their faces)
Most Important Things:	His brother
Favorite Sport:	All non-ball games
Favorite Music:	Anime music themes
Special Skill:	Sarcasm (no offense)

Jin's Book of Secrets is said to have been sought after by all fighters aiming to become the strongest in its long history. These brothers are ordinary boys who remain innocent and seem to live in a world completely unrelated to them. However, fate formed them as multiple personalities.
"We sometimes have unconscious moments. Neither I nor my brother can remember what we were doing during that time."
In this unconscious time, he suddenly transforms into a fighting machine like a demon god. His personality is controlled by the soul of his ancestors who are wrapped in the Book of Secrets, and his body begins to make full use of Diwangquan. Teioken, the origin of all fighting styles, has now been revived in this world through their bodies.

Jin Chonrei

Emperor's fist that never weakens

Profile
Fighting-style:	Diwangquan
Nationality:	Chinese
Profession:	Unemployed
Birthday:	1980.6.6
Age:	16
Height:	170cm
Weight:	Unclear
Blood-type:	Unclear
Hobbies:	Snowboarding
Favorite Food:	Almond Tofu
Dislikes:	Effort
Most Important Things:	His younger brother
Favorite Sport:	Any individual sports
Favorite Music:	None
Special Skill:	Fashionability

Jin's Book of Secrets is said to have been sought after by all fighters aiming to become the strongest in its long history. These brothers are ordinary boys who remain innocent and seem to live in a world completely unrelated to them. However, fate formed them as multiple personalities.
"We sometimes have unconscious moments. Neither I nor my brother can remember what we were doing during that time."
During this unconscious time, the Jin brothers suddenly transform into fighting machines like demon gods. Their personalities are controlled by the souls of their ancestors wrapped in the Book of Secrets, and their bodies begin to make full use of the Diwangquan. Teioken, the origin of all fighting styles, has now been revived in this world through their bodies. And the Jin brothers are led to the unconscious battlefield. They fight with a fate that is too sad...

Duck King

Splendid Dancing Fighter

Profile
Fighting-style:	Martial Arts
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Professional Dancer
Birthday:	1967.2.2
Age:	29
Height:	179cm
Weight:	62kg
Blood-type:	B
Hobbies:	Dance, dance, dance!
Favorite Food:	Buttercorn
Dislikes:	The Rising Tackle
Most Important Things:	P-chan the chick
Favorite Sport:	Street basketball
Favorite Music:	Rap Music
Special Skill:	American jokes (too cliché to laugh)

There may be martial artists who hate losing, but it's rare for their competitive attitude to drive their actions. When he was a boy, he dreamed of becoming a dancer, but he was a delinquent in his neighborhood. His dancing talent was certainly the best in the street, and there was no one who could surpass him. Why did the boy choose the path of a martial artist?
"At that time, I was so frustrated that I couldn't sleep at night. That kid, Terry, made a fool out of me."
After that, he followed Terry to every fighting tournament. "My life has gone crazy because of him. By this time, I was changing the world's club scene. Terry is a big star who can't be called out. ”
He believes that they'll be even after he beats Terry.

Kim Kaphwan

The road to becoming the strongest continues

Profile
Fighting-style:	Taekwondo
Nationality:	Korea
Profession:	Taekwondo master
Birthday:	1964.12.21
Age:	32
Height:	176cm
Weight:	78kg
Blood-type:	A
Hobbies:	Karaoke
Favorite Food:	Grilled meat
Dislikes:	Evil
Most Important Things:	His 2 sons
Favorite Sport:	Gymnastics
Favorite Music:	Mood song
Special Skill:	Enduring hot baths

Kim Kaphwan, a man who is said to be undefeated for 10 years in the taekwondo world. One of the primary reasons why he has risen to this level is his passion for taekwondo. He believes that it is the strongest martial art in the world. What does taekwondo mean to him?
"I fight to prove the strength of taekwondo. I hope it will give confidence to the people and country I love."
He spoke eloquently to convey his feelings for his loved ones. Taekwondo is said to be more popular than karate. However, due to the small number of onstage practitioners, it gives the reverse impression. It's not strange that his fight is the dream of his native people.

Billy Kane

Who are you fighting for?

Profile
Fighting-style:	Bojutsu
Nationality:	English
Profession:	Geese's Entourage
Birthday:	1966.12.25
Age:	30
Height:	179cm
Weight:	77kg
Blood-type:	B
Hobbies:	Washing
Favorite Food:	Egg dish
Dislikes:	Order
Most Important Things:	His younger sister
Favorite Sport:	Pole Vaulting
Favorite Music:	Punk Rock
Special Skill:	Playing long guitar solos

He has the mark of the world's No. 2 and the world's best right hand, but it always been that way. Especially in terms of fighting habits, he is in a position to reign over the world against Joe Higashi and Ryuji Yamazaki. The reason why he devoted himself to No.2 was his encounter with Geese Howard.
Until then, the people around him had only seen him as hypocrites who wanted to see his complexion. However, the man named Geese confronts him with his strength. After being shown a huge difference in ability, he devotes himself to the role of Geese's assistant. For Geese, he was the most trusted subordinate and played a key role in Geese's strides forward.
"My boss will always be Geese, forever."
For him, Geese is the best person he can trust from the bottom of his heart.

Cheng Senzan

The Fighting Merchants Will Rise Again

Profile
Fighting-style:	Taichi
Nationality:	Taiwanese
Profession:	Businessman
Birthday:	1952.8.10
Age:	44
Height:	160cm
Weight:	130kg
Blood-type:	O
Hobbies:	Savings
Favorite Food:	Ramen
Dislikes:	Bimbos
Most Important Things:	Money
Favorite Sport:	Tennis
Favorite Music:	Pop Music
Special Skill:	Playing mahjong all night (his record is four days straight)

Based in Hong Kong, he is active as a promoter who fights by himself. He is based on Taijiquan, but has studied with Tung Fu Rue long ago and is also familiar with bajiquan. His talent flourished during his time as a Hakkyokuseiken, but his innate money-making philosophy drove him to be expelled.
"I did a street fight that was forbidden by Master Tung. Moreover, I played match-fixing and lost on purpose. At that time, Tung was furious." At the time, he used Hakkyokuseiken, so his betting odds were biased against him. So he got a second party to bet on him, and he played the match beautifully.
After that, he could no longer claim to be a user of Hakkyokuseiken. But his skills, as well as his innate commercial spirit, were all genuine.

Tung Fu Rue

The essence of Hakkyokuseiken is now here...

Profile
Fighting-style:	Hakkyokuseiken
Nationality:	Chinese
Profession:	Hakkyokuseiken Master
Birthday:	1924.4.14
Age:	72
Height:	163cm
Weight:	46kg
Blood-type:	A
Hobbies:	Meditation
Favorite Food:	Cha-tamago
Dislikes:	Extravagance
Most Important Things:	Disciples
Favorite Sport:	Taichi
Favorite Music:	Folk music
Special Skill:	Assimilating with nature

He is the founder of Hakkyokuseiken and a great master who trained many martial artists. He has fought an extraordinary number of times and is a living encyclopedia who has personally studied all martial arts. The essence of Hakkyokuseiken lies in the control of "Ki". Among his disciples, Geese Howard was the one who was able to harness his Ki. The man with the highest potential for it was Terry Bogard. Whose father, Jeff, was also one of Tung's beloved disciples.
“Jeff Bogard was the role model for a martial artist. That's why I chose him as my successor. I didn't expect that to happen... ”
A long time ago, Jeff and Geese fought for the throne of succession. Geese, who lost, killed Jeff.
He decided to remain active for the rest of his life and stopped taking his students, the only exception being Terry Bogard.

Laurence Blood

A crazy matador that invites silence

Profile
Fighting-style:	Self-taught matador assassination techniques
Nationality:	Spanish
Profession:	Stroheim Castle Guard Captain
Birthday:	1960.9.4
Age:	36
Height:	195cm
Weight:	95kg
Blood-type:	B
Hobbies:	Playing Flamenco guitar
Favorite Food:	Beef stew
Dislikes:	Women and children
Most Important Things:	Honor
Favorite Sport:	Fencing
Favorite Music:	Flamenco
Special Skill:	Sidelong glances (he's overconfident about it)

He was a hero in his native Spain as a matador who fought bullfights with his bare hands, but people gradually hated him for his brutal fighting style. It was Krauser who took an interest in him, and the insane matador later became Krauser's right hand and played an active role. Since he became part of Krauser, he has been fighting exclusively against humans, but his style hasn't changed at all. The maddening battle will have no choice but to silence the viewer.
"Fufu... Maybe I went too far again. But that's how fighting is supposed to be. Beasts instinctively attack you until you can't move."
Ironically, as he changed his battlefield, his madness only grew more radiant.
Is there no one in this world who has the power to stop him other than Krauser?

Wolfgang Krauser

Proud Supreme Warrior

Profile
Fighting-style:	Mixed Martial Arts
Nationality:	German
Profession:	Lord of the Stroheim Castle
Birthday:	Unclear
Age:	Unclear
Height:	200cm
Weight:	145kg
Blood-type:	A
Hobbies:	Medieval antique collecting
Favorite Food:	Rare Steaks
Dislikes:	Vanity, falsehood
Most Important Things:	Chivalry
Favorite Sport:	Not interested in sports (but able to do anything)
Favorite Music:	Classical
Special Skill:	All forms of gambling (he's surprisingly stingy)

The head of the prestigious Stroheim family behind the history of Europe. He possesses the most excellent body and fighting senses among the successive family heads. In other words, he got everything at a young age.
“Art is the ultimate, and my struggle exists in that realm. Like Mozart and Gotti, I am a fighting genius.”
He treats fighting as an art, and tries to satisfy his desires by perfectly he beats his opponents. As if creating a work, the energy of the battle is full of madness. The boredom of his fame has shaped him into a top-notch predilection, and he continues to search today for prey to serve as the subject matter for his future masterpieces.
Krauser pursues an endless search even in the underworld. All for myself...

Tb 11:5-17 Anna sat watching the road by which her son was to come. When she saw him coming, she exclaimed to his father, "Tobit, your son is coming, and the man who traveled with him!"
Raphael said to Tobiah before he reached his father: "I am certain that his eyes will be opened. Smear the fish gall on them. This medicine will make the cataracts shrink and peel off from his eyes; then your father will again be able to see the light of day."
Then Anna ran up to her son, threw her arms around him, and said to him, "Now that I have seen you again, son, I am ready to die!" And she sobbed aloud.
Tobit got up and stumbled out through the courtyard gate. Tobiah went up to him with the fish gall in his hand, and holding him firmly, blew into his eyes. "Courage, father," he said. Next he smeared the medicine on his eyes, and it made them smart. Then, beginning at the corners of Tobit's eyes, Tobiah used both hands to peel off the cataracts.
When Tobit saw his son, he threw his arms around him and wept. He exclaimed, "I can see you, son, the light of my eyes!" Then he said:
"Blessed be God, and praised be his great name, and blessed be all his holy angels. May his holy name be praised throughout all the ages, Because it was he who scourged me, and it is he who has had mercy on me. Behold, I now see my son Tobiah!"
Then Tobit went back in, rejoicing and praising God with full voice for everything that had happened. Tobiah told his father that the Lord God had granted him a successful journey; that he had brought back the money; and that he had married Raguel's daughter Sarah, who would arrive shortly, for she was approaching the gate of Nineveh.
Tobit and Anna rejoiced and went out to the gate of Nineveh to meet their daughter-in-law. When the people of Nineveh saw Tobit walking along briskly, with no one leading him by the hand, they were amazed. Before them all Tobit proclaimed how God had mercifully restored sight to his eyes. When Tobit reached Sarah, the wife of his son Tobiah, he greeted her: "Welcome, my daughter! Blessed be your God for bringing you to us, daughter! Blessed is your father, and blessed is my son Tobiah, and blessed are you, daughter! Welcome to your home with blessing and joy. Come in, daughter!" That day there was joy for all the Jews who lived in Nineveh. Responsorial Psalm Ps 146:1b-2, 6c-7, 8-9a, 9bc-10 R. (1b) Praise the Lord, my soul! or: R. Alleluia. Praise the LORD, O my soul; I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God while I live. R. Praise the Lord, my soul! or: R. Alleluia. The LORD keeps faith forever, secures justice for the oppressed, gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets captives free. R. Praise the Lord, my soul! or: R. Alleluia. The LORD gives sight to the blind. The LORD raises up those who are bowed down; the LORD loves the just. The LORD protects strangers. R. Praise the Lord, my soul! or: R. Alleluia. The fatherless and the widow he sustains, but the way of the wicked he thwarts The LORD shall reign forever, your God, O Zion, through all generations! Alleluia. R. Praise the Lord, my soul! or: R. Alleluia. Alleluia Jn 14:23 R. Alleluia, alleluia. Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him and we will come to him. R. Alleluia, alleluia. Gospel Mk 12:35-37 As Jesus was teaching in the temple area he said, "How do the scribes claim that the Christ is the son of David? David himself, inspired by the Holy Spirit, said:
The Lord said to my lord, 'Sit at my right hand until I place your enemies under your feet.'
David himself calls him 'lord'; so how is he his son?" The great crowd heard this with delight.

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