Older libra man younger aries woman

Some background info about me:
I have never been the nerdy or shy guy, not once have i seen myself that way. I was always younger than my friends, due to being born between school years my parents decided to put me in an older grade. I dont regret that they did that at all, i made amazing friends and wouldnt change a thing about my childhood. I would say that I’m more mature than average for my age, i try to be a gentleman, and generally spread positivity. I think i lacked confidence. I know I lacked confidence. Hell I still do, but I’m working on it and I can feel myself growing up. I used to crave being cool, what teenager didnt? But i think i was so obsessed with being someone that im not, that i lost a part of myself. A part that is very dear to me. Im writing this because i can feel that part returning, slowly but steadily, im becoming me. Im excited but extremely scared, because there are parts of me that i dont like.
I still feel like a teenager. Partly due to the fact that covid and immigration has made attending a physical college near to impossible. If you want to know the truth, i did attend college on campus for one whole month. Covid ended that, but I wasnt with people i enjoyed seeing, they were lovely but i felt extremely out of place. Hell, i dont even know who or what I like. Im interested in going to college here (USA), but quite frankly, it scares me and i can’t afford it. The US is different to where Im from (well duh sherlock) but it intimidates me. Almost everyone my age that I have met is just so self shrouded and focused on sex and it truly petrifies me. Im not by any means a non sexual person, but i havent found a person that i wanted to have sex with because i wanted to have sex with them, not just to have sexl Up until recently, ive dreamed of being a douchebag that gets all the girls and has all the friends.
The real post; But thats not what i really want. I want to love someone. With and without sex. In my 6’2 180 pound athletic body hides a scared little man, with more vulnerability than i could possibly imagine. A soft center surrounded by 10 inch steel plates. Ive had sex before, not with only one girl, but once, in total. I was so excited that my moment had arrived, the moment I spend 19 years dreaming of, with a girl a had a crush on no less. But after that moment, I realized how much sex can complicate things. My first thought after losing my virginity, and you can laugh, was “i love you”, the girl was pretty, funny, sweet but I realized immediately that I had no interest in her beyond sex, in fact i think the main reason i pursued her was to feel power over my friends, i hated that, i hated me, and i hate that I have to admit that. I felt like an asshole, i was an asshole. I handled the situation about as well as every romantic situation I’ve encountered(ie not very maturely or well). So much for that dream of being a douchebag huh?
I realized that sex is part of life, and relationships and hatred and love but i think i was valuing it too highly. I crave sex as much as any 21 year old does. But i think im a romantic at heart. I have lost hope in pursuing casual sex (not only because I’m terrible with girls, but because I dont think im a casual sex type of guy). I genuinely want to care about someone and appreciate them. I know they say love finds you, you dont find love. But im scared im wasting my best years away. I go out and party and club every once in a while (usually alone, partly because i dont have many ‘clubbing’ friends but mainly because i want to push myself into being confident.) I havent met a single girl that i like. hey, mainly because im locked away in my room all day but partly because i just get so anxious talking to girls.
I cant wait to be more grown up, an older friend of mine that shared a similar view told me that girls are going to appreciate the fact that i want to be genuine and a gentleman. Just not yet. Girls my age just want to have fun and party and meet cute guys with confidence and bravado, but im not like that. And i think as i get older, ill find girls that are looking for something like me.
I dont know. I feel like an idiot writing all this down, i know that im probably wrong and theres plenty of people my age that feel the same way. I just feel a tad lost. If you managed to read this far, thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to ‘listen’

If I had to recap my whole life, it would be a very long, confusing, but yet an emotional book.
It all started at Methodist Hospital. I was born into a world I never thought would be this horrific.
At a young age, I learned that independence was key. I did everything myself because that’s how it went. I thought asking for help and seeking help was me being dependent on something I would never get. I was born into a religion I never understood. The women were the lower class of all people. They were under men, the “leaders” of the world. I grew up only knowing I was not better than any man I laid my eyes unto.
As I aged, I found out I would never be able to look like the other girls, the pants wearing, crop top wearing, short hair, normal girls. I was always the outcast of the girl groups, only because I didn’t fit in with their beliefs. I always tried to fit in, but no matter what, I was never the right puzzle piece.
Going to school was always something I kind of had trouble with. Not anxiety, no, nothing like that. Just afraid that I was going to be made fun of because of my clothes. That’s whenever I kind of found out I was developing anxiety.
I made it throughout K-3, then a big change happened in my life that I never thought would’ve happened. I never really noticed my mother and father’s issues they were having until that very night. It was after school, my father, me, and my brother were going to go get ice cream and I just sensed something was off because my mother wasn’t coming with us. I was only 7 at the time so I really didn’t expect something to happen, all I knew was that we were going to get ice cream.
I was in the back seat of my father’s truck. Sirens started going off behind us, red and blue lights appeared in the front mirrors. I was confused about what it was, I looked in the back window and noticed, It was a police car. Why? Why was a Police car behind us? We weren’t speeding?
I looked at my dad as he stared into my eyes, his eyes flooded with tears. I was confused and scared. Was he getting arrested? That’s the only thing that went through my mind. As the police officer approached the window, I couldn’t hear what he was saying to my father. When he got done speaking to him, he let up the window and turned the truck around. Why was he turning around? Weren’t we getting ice cream?
I asked why we were turning around, he only looked at me with an emotionless face. Then he smiled and told me it was going to be all okay. But still, he never answered my question. Where were we going?
As we turned around I noticed this was the way back to our home. We were going home?
Why?
We pulled into our driveway and the officer was behind us. We drove up to our house and my grandmother was standing outside. We all stepped outside of the car, but my dad started walking to the officer. I asked my grandmother what was happening, she only looked at me and smiled, she didn’t respond to my question. Why was everyone being so quiet? No one responded to what I was saying?
She had the gatogolf cart parked in front of the garage and told us to hop on and that we were going on a ride around the house. I was still so confused on why my dad had just walked off to the end of the driveway to meet the officer? Why was the officer here in the first place?
As I looked at my grandmother, tears drowned her eyes. I looked at my brother, we were both so confused. I finally got a response out of my grandma, but it still wasn’t the response I was looking for. It was only a, It’ll all be okay.
But I knew it wasn’t going to be all okay. I knew that my mother and father were having some issues before all of this but I didn’t expect it to lead to this.
I finally got informed on what was going on, my mother and father were getting a divorce. At the time I didn’t understand what that word meant. Until it was explained to me. For the whole night I was blank, I cried all night and was so confused. My father wasn’t allowed to be around me and my brother. Why? Isn’t he my father though? Why are they keeping him away?
I never understood why until it was all explained to me. He abused my mother. He hurt her verbally, mentally, I didn’t know who to believe. Believe my mother or my father..?
I got one last goodbye hug from my father before we had to leave to go to my aunts for the night. I really wasn’t used to being far away from him, neither was my brother. I cried all night at my aunt’s house. I just didn’t understand why.
The next morning I found out I had to leave to go to my mom’s mother’s house. I was still so confused on why I couldn’t see my father. I wasn’t used to being this far away from him for this period of time.
My mother came to pick me up. I asked her everything, and she told me that her and my father were just done. I honestly just went blank. I don’t remember anything else I said or did that whole entire day.
The whole week at my mom’s mother’s house was just kind of weird for me. But it felt like me and my mom made a huge bond though. I had never worn a pair of jeans in my life, but one day, I finally felt what it was like. I felt so different. When me and her went to get me a pair I was kind of nervous but she helped me through it. My mother had already cut her hair and started wearing jeans, I had never seen this side of her. I kinda liked this “new” side of my mother. I was just still kinda in shock.
My mom looked so relieved and free. I felt happy for her, I always noticed she wasn’t very happy when she and my father were together, but I never understood why until one day. My mother and father were arguing in the dining room and I remember just looking at both of them, asking them to please stop arguing. I finally told my dad to go upstairs and my mom to go to the bedroom. They listened to what I said, which surprised me. But it helped settle both of them. I knew the divorce was kind of a good idea, they needed to get away from each other. But most of all, my mother needed to get away from him. I never noticed how much of a manipulative, narcissistic, abusive man he was because I never saw that side of him, but my mother did and all she was doing was trying to get help.
Me and my mom would dance in the bathroom to songs she would download on her phone, and I remember those being my most cherished memories of all time. When me and my mom had time to ourselves, it felt like I was living a whole different life. At first I was a daddy’s girl, but I later found out that for the rest of my life I’d be a momma’s girl.
As I got older, things took some hard turns. Later in my life I started developing a lot of depression and anxiety out of this world. My mother married someone and I’ll never mention his name ever again. He ruined her life, even when he knew my mother was already torn up from a past abusive marriage. He was such a narcissist. He acted like he loved me and my brother, but he never truly did. He proposed to her in the kitchen of our apartment. He cheated on my mother not long after he proposed. After my mother found out he had cheated on her he left, but he came back. We were living in an apartment at the time. One night I got called into her bedroom and there he sat, on the bed. Why was he back I wondered. I wasn’t disappointed in my mother, I was just so confused on why she wanted a man that cheated on her again. He hurt her. At this time, I found out that I legitimately hated men. They ended up dating again and I didn’t really know what to think. I had such mixed feelings about him. When he tried talking to me in the bedroom the night he came back, I didn’t say anything back so of course he wanted to leave because he said I didn’t want him there, which was the truth. I hated him, he hurt my mother just like my father had done to her.
Finally we moved into our home we still live in! I was so excited to finally live in a home, I was happy in the apartment but I was happy to leave those horrible memories behind me.
Him and my mother got married finally a little while after we moved in. I didn’t really know what to think about it, but as long as my mother was happy, I would be happy too.
I finally got used to him being here, me and him kinda built a bond. I mean he was my stepdad.
But everything changed, again. One night, me, him, my mother, and my brother all went to rookies downtown. I was furious at my father, and I don’t even remember why..
I was kind of influenced to call him and give it all to him, but half of me wanted to do it also, so I did it.
When we got home I took my mother's phone and called him. I was nervous but ready. I told him how I felt about having to wear skirts and how I had to pretend to be something I truly wasn’t. My father had never heard me cuss so it took him by surprise when he heard that. He didn’t even care about how I felt, he only cared about the one cuss word I had let out.
I knew no matter how much I fought to stay with my mom forever, it would never happen. I tried everything, CPS, Court, everything in my power, but nothing worked. I hated my dad, I hated him so much. I didn’t want to even consider him my father anymore. I hated my father so much.
I wanted to only be with my mother forever.
But then another divorce happened. My step dad and mother got a divorce because of everything he had done to her. He had done worse things to her than my father had done. I hated him so much. I still do with everything with me. I wish I could hurt him more than he hurt my mother. She didn’t deserve any of this. She just wanted love and loyalty, but all she got was dishonesty and pain in the end. Why won’t anyone just treat my mother right?
I felt like every man that would step into the house I would make a strong bond with. Then they would just disappear forever. That’s why I just can’t stand men. I’m not a feminist, but I just want to protect my mom forever.
Everyone has their own issues, but mine are just different. I feel like no matter how much help I try to get, nothing ever works. I’ve tried therapy, journaling, the rubberband method, and nothing helps. Medication is what I thought would help me, but it didn’t help at all. I love to be alone, but sometimes it doesn’t help. The only person that is really keeping me alive right now is my mother. If I didn’t have my mother here, I would have no point in living anymore. I love her, she deserves so much better. I would do anything to make her life better. I hate seeing her cry, stress, and just anything that makes her feel horrible. I would work in the desert, cut every single part of my body, pour salt in the cuts for her. I would put myself through so much for that woman. She just deserves so much more. There is no one else I would do that for. She’s the woman that felt me inside her, gave birth to me, and still has me. I will always be here for her. There will never be a time that she’ll be alone. No one can love her like I do. She’s like an egg, she’s so fragile. I don’t want anything happening to her.
But my life is so hard to deal with. I’m scared I’ll hurt someone, because as the saying goes, “Hurt people, will hurt people”. I just don’t want anyone hurting her. She’s such a special and loving woman. Through all the hell she has been through, she still will always be the strongest woman I’ve ever met and the only mom I will ever love. No one will ever beat my mother.
I’m so glad I have her. She taught me everything I know, how to tie my shoes, how to do my hair, my fashion ways. I just want her to myself. I don;t want anyone else to have her, ever. Just me and her is all I want for the rest of my life.
As we can see, my life has been full of ups and downs, but no matter what..I know I’ll always have that one special person by my side, her.

• Eva Gilford 23’

bby pic of me and my gorgeous mother.

THIS IS NOT A SERUS SITUATION BTW. I don’t know how to tell my mother that her attitude makes me want to be in foster care. The foster care stuff is besides the point right now. Mind you that I’m a 17F. My mother is the biggest pessimist you’ll ever meet. She’ll tell strangers all of our bad characteristics and how we didn’t do this or that. Basically airing out all of our dirty laundry. Sometimes about how she wishes that we weren’t so much of a failure in life or how we spend our money. Little stuff like that. She grew up in a household where parties and fights were a huge thing. She never wanted that life for us and here her son is like that. My brother has kidney failure and has issues with his heart. My mom hates mental health where she doesn’t understand or makes the comment “back in my day mental health didn’t exist because we weren’t weak”. My parents are in their 50s so born in the 60s. Yeah I understand that she was mentally strong because of her living situation but she puts so much pressure on us about mental health not existing. She kicked out all of my older siblings except my 2 brothers and my younger sister. She has the expectation that all of us aren’t good enough. Well today she got mad at me and yelled loud and cussed at me. She wanted a pop and my phone was resting on the 6 pack of pop. I made a small sigh and she got mad saying that she didn’t do that to me when I was a little baby. Lately she’s been saying stuff like that. “If I knew you were gonna be like that when you got older then I wouldn’t have taught you your abc’s or numbers. I should’ve just sighed when you cried or when you wanted to talk to me. Your attitude is just shittier than hell. Go home this is my house not yours.” This type of saying varies due to the current conversation or situation. When she says it to my my siblings, she tells them to leave. I stay up at night and think of every time she says that to me. I cry because I’m her rainbow baby and sometimes wish that my brother survived instead of me. Her saying that makes me feel like she regretted having me. It sometimes makes me want to leave but I’m not a legal adult. DONT WORRY IM NOT GONNS DO ANYTHING. It’s funny because her dad had anger issues and she does too. She passed it down to her kids. My father is very kind hearted and sometimes misses my mom when they first fell in love. He said that she’s not the woman she used to be. She’s been horribly pessimistic for about 10 years but lately it’s been worst. I don’t want to say this but I’m waiting for this to catch up to her and to see her downfall. Yes I still love her but what goes around comes around. I don’t like therapists because I live in a small town and gossip travels quickly. I cry about every night and don’t know how to cope with the yelling and bringing down. please help me cope. Very much appreciated and thanks for reading 🫶 I love all of you and hope you have a nice day ❣️

I’ve had a read of the rules in depth and I believe this is allowed but I am very sorry if I misinterpreted the rules. (TW: neglect)
I’m looking for advice on whether or not I should intervene. I apologise in advance if this is wrong of me to ask.
I (f20) left my family home 5 years ago and ran to my bio fathers house with no warning. My older siblings had already ran from the house years before to go to many different places (other cities, countries or living with partners) and we all left as teens. This was easy for us as our parents were divorced, but my mother had remarried and had two children with her now husband. We left these children behind. I feel guilty about it today, but feel there was nothing I could do without taking adverse action.
Our mother is abusive, didn’t feed us, didn’t let us shower, hoarded objects and cats, the house was toxic, I got sick often, the ammonia was terrible, and I often had to walk or call police to get a ride to school when she had a breakdown. She claimed often to have aneurisms or strokes whenever anybody challenged her on anything. She wouldn’t let us see a doctor and used crystals to “heal” us. Every single child developed severe mental health disorders and even chronic disorders caused by trauma. I struggle every day to function from the fallout of living with her.
My two younger sisters I thought would be ok with their dad who would hopefully intervene, and he has in small ways. He got rid of the 23 cats, cleans often, and works overtime every week to give them food, clothes and shoes. However, my mother had another mental breakdown recently and would only allow organic/vegan food in the house, which is normally fine, but she has reduced it to only condiments, legumes, nuts and seeds.
My two younger sisters are extremely active and are supported by my family who send them money to do extra curricular so they have some sense of normalcy. Because of this, my youngest sister (13) has not been eating enough to support her growing body. 3 years ago she had appendicitis, and my mother left her in bed for 3 weeks in pain before her appendix burst and my stepdad called an ambulance. They were unable to perform surgery as she was malnourished and they had to wait for the fluid to drain. Today, she has been in and out of hospital for 4 weeks. Her school has been calling ambulances as she continually faints from not eating enough. They have found she is anorexic and has not been eating enough for so long she now refuses to eat.
I am not looking for advice on her medically or legally, only giving background.
Advice on this only: Should I intervene? Should I go back into this traumatic part of my life and call CPS (child protective services)? if I do this every single member of my family will face trauma and hardship for at least a year as everything this woman has done in 31 years to her children is revealed. I don’t want to relive it or even have contact with her. But I cant bear to watch my youngest sister suffer like this.
I apologise again for asking about this situation but I don’t know what to do.

I have never been the nerdy or shy guy, not once have i seen myself that way. I was always younger than my friends, due to being born between school years my parents decided to put me in an older grade. I dont regret that they did that at all, i made amazing friends and wouldnt change a thing about my childhood. I would say that I’m more mature than average for my age, i try to be a gentleman, and generally spread positivity. I think i lacked confidence. I know I lacked confidence. Hell I still do, but I’m working on it and I can feel myself growing up. I used to crave being cool, what teenager didnt? But i think i was so obsessed with being someone that im not, that i lost a part of myself. A part that is very dear to me. Im writing this because i can feel that part returning, slowly but steadily, im becoming me. Im excited but extremely scared, because there are parts of me that i dont like.
I still feel like a teenager. Partly due to the fact that covid and immigration has made attending a physical college near to impossible. If you want to know the truth, i did attend college on campus for one whole month. Covid ended that, but I wasnt with people i enjoyed seeing, they were lovely but i felt extremely out of place. Hell, i dont even know who or what I like. Im interested in going to college here (USA), but quite frankly, it scares me and i can’t afford it. The US is different to where Im from (well duh sherlock) but it intimidates me. Almost everyone my age that I have met is just so self shrouded and focused on sex and it truly petrifies me. Im not by any means a non sexual person, but i havent found a person that i wanted to have sex with because i wanted to have sex with them, not just to have sexl Up until recently, ive dreamed of being a douchebag that gets all the girls and has all the friends.
But thats not what i really want. I want to love someone. With and without sex. In my 6’2 180 pound athletic body hides a scared little man, with more vulnerability than i could possibly imagine. A soft center surrounded by 10 inch steel plates. Ive had sex before, not with only one girl, but once, in total. I was so excited that my moment had arrived, the moment I spend 19 years dreaming of, with a girl a had a crush on no less. But after that moment, I realized how much sex can complicate things. My first thought after losing my virginity, and you can laugh, was “i love you”, the girl was pretty, funny, sweet but I realized immediately that I had no interest in her beyond sex, in fact i think the main reason i pursued her was to feel power over my friends, i hated that, i hated me, and i hate that I have to admit that. I felt like an asshole, i was an asshole. I handled the situation about as well as every romantic situation I’ve encountered(ie not very maturely or well). So much for that dream of being a douchebag huh?
I realized that sex is part of life, and relationships and hatred and love but i think i was valuing it too highly. I crave sex as much as any 21 year old does. But i think im a romantic at heart. I have lost hope in pursuing casual sex (not only because I’m terrible with girls, but because I dont think im a casual sex type of guy). I genuinely want to care about someone and appreciate them. I know they say love finds you, you dont find love. But im scared im wasting my best years away. I go out and party and club every once in a while (usually alone, partly because i dont have many ‘clubbing’ friends but mainly because i want to push myself into being confident.) I havent met a single girl that i like. hey, mainly because im locked away in my room all day but partly because i just get so anxious talking to girls.
I cant wait to be more grown up, an older friend of mine that shared a similar view told me that girls are going to appreciate the fact that i want to be genuine and a gentleman. Just not yet. Girls my age just want to have fun and party and meet cute guys with confidence and bravado, but im not like that. And i think as i get older, ill find girls that are looking for something like me.
I dont know. I feel like an idiot writing all this down, i know that im probably wrong and theres plenty of people my age that feel the same way. I just feel a tad lost. If you managed to read this far, thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to ‘listen’

There are some men who are telling you, that focus on studies and not relationships.
Well, you know what if you don't develop relationship skills now in your 20s, you'll end up with someone who values you for your provider qualities only. Then what will naturally follow is that you'll end up with a woman who doesn't really value your personality, just things you bring. And since you'll crave, love intimacy you'll become alcoholic.
Men and women bond over activities, conversation, adventure, sex etc...
Just ask any older guy with money, money does one thing - it helps you get women who prioritize money. I've came across many women who have choosen not so wealthy men because they fell in love with the sexy man. To them this man is most handsome, they reject wealthy men left and right for these.
When someone will get older, they'll be like heyyy, I am old now and haven't managed to get anyone who will stay for life with me, then they'll prioritize their own comfort, ie off of your money.
It's not bad to spend money on girl who loves you but it's not fulfilling to be with a woman who just wants comfort, money but is not receptive of your intimancy, love, desires, emotions.

I 29M and my wife 25F have been married for only 3 years and I feel like there’s nothing between us anymore already. We met at the beach when she was vacationing in my country. She came 4 summers in a row and we stayed together 3 of them. On the last trip, I asked her to marry me and stay here forever and she said yes. (She never pressured me or brought this up, it was my idea and a total surprise) We both didn’t have much and were younger and really started to build something together here as a team. Since our careers have taken off and we are well off financially, things have changed. We always used to split everything 50/50 from bills to dates to gift amounts. It all started with gifts actually. One Christmas, she asked me for expensive lavish gifts. I thought we were on the same page. I got her everything she asked for and she got me a cheap headset for my game and it was the same one I already have. I wouldn’t be so worried about cost if the price difference wasn’t so massive. It’s also because I feel like she didn’t put any thought into it at all. This continued for the next birthday and Christmas also, same situation. I’ve learned my lesson for the next upcoming birthdays and Christmas. Sometime last year, she was crying and told me she’s been really depressed because she doesn’t feel like a princess. She said she is tired of splitting everything and a man should take care of his woman and a woman should not have to spend her money. I flat out asked her, “so you want your money to be your money and my money to be your money?” And she said, “yes”. I was beside myself and it turned into a long conversation about how I want to live, build, and grow together and that way of living is not realistic. Her response was that, “that is how people in my country live”. For context, she makes $15,000 a year more than me, but it puts her in a higher tax bracket so our take home is pretty equal, but hers is slightly more. We don’t share finances at all as she’s completely against it. I have no idea how much money she has and she has no idea how much money I have. All bills are in my name and she just pays me half each month. I feel that I’m pretty chill and never complain about anything. She always seems to have an issue with me every day and I almost hate being home for fear that I did something wrong. She said she doesn’t want to help clean anymore because it’s dirty and woman shouldn’t have to do it. I said, “if you don’t want to pay for anything and don’t want to help clean, then what are you doing for us?” And she said “you have me and nobody else does” and “I cook for you all the time”. This is true, she cooks all the time. But, she only cooks what she likes and will just make me a plate of the extras while she’s at it. I don’t really like the food that she makes and she says, “if you don’t like it, then just make your own food”. I sometimes wish she would think “my husband likes this so I will make it for him” but it is only what she likes. She will not split grocery bills unless we only buy ingredients for the food she likes. We’re about to move and she wants to get rid of all my stuff and wants me to buy all new stuff so our new place will have “atmosphere” instead of just being full of hand-me-down stuff. I’m sort of ok with that because we could use some new stuff. We commute to work together as we work in the same city (where we’re moving) but when we get home, we go our separate ways and hardly talk. She constantly speaks over me when we’re in company and always corrects me and makes me feel so small. If I’m telling a story about how someone won $4000, she’ll say, “actually it was $3,900 you’re always exaggerating” even my family pulled me aside and asked why she doesn’t ever let me just talk and relax. I feel like she is taking all my masculinity and I feel so small. We haven’t had sex in 6 months and we’ve had sex 2 times in the past year. I feel like she is always nagging me and when I try to talk to her about these feelings I’ve mentioned here that I don’t feel loved or cared about, she says I’m killing her good day. I suggested marriage counseling and she said she will only do it if I pay for it, which makes me feel like she doesn’t care at all. When I think about things ending, I’m really only afraid that she will take my dog at this point. What do I do? I want things to be better but I’m so lost. I’m rambling now so…
TL;DR
No love felt. Wife doesn’t want to pay for anything anymore, no sex life, I feel like she wants to sap me of money while she builds wealth. I feel like she doesn’t respect or care about me or my feelings. I feel small, no masculinity. My family has taken notice. Embarrassed. Wife doesn’t want help unless I set it up and pay for it. I just want to be happy and I feel like she just wants a tool put on this earth to make her happy.

I come from a country where boys and girls don’t talk to each other often. If you lurk more into my account, you’ll see more details that I won’t mention here. Some guys avoid me because they think I want to be their girlfriend and some are nervous laughing when talking to me. For me, talking to guys work more if I’m in a group of guys. I’m bi but because of this and dysphoria, it makes me afraid to be attracted to men because I’m afraid that people won’t see me as manly enough since I’m pre everything and I want to change that. It’s not a problem if I’m cis or post-T. In my country’s culture, it’s taboo for someone to date and lose their virginity before marriage that’s why there are so many TV shows and movies from my country about couples breaking free from their parents not wanting them to be together.
I used to hang out with a group of guy friends. Because of our school buses changing because of kids who start school at June (older grades start at May), we had to separate. Sad because I feel like they’re the only guys in my class supportive of me and don’t view me as a girl wanting to date them. I was sick this Tuesday (stomachache) and Wednesday (headache) because of depression that I’ll never meet them again. There aren’t many boys my age in Myanmar new bus (my bus is full of kids) but there’s this one guy sitting near me and he’s often nervous laughing whenever I talk to him.
Bonus: In our language, first person pronouns are either neutral, female and male. With friends, you have to use neutral but when with elders you have to use female and male. Second person pronouns are either neutral, female and male but girls my age usually don’t use female second person pronouns anymore because they’re out of date. To give respect, we use “teacher, teacher(f), son, daughter (for people younger than us), brother, sister (for people a bit older than us), etc... For third person, it’s all neutral.

Some meanings of dreaming about turtles in life
According to feng shui terms, turtles are classified as one of the four spirits: dragon, turtle, turtle, and phoenix - the most revered and sacred animals. The turtle here is a symbol of sophistication, lightness but also endurance and courage. Dreaming of turtles brings the dreamer a lot of luck and convenience in business and trade. Sure, dreams are often interpreted like this, but is dreaming about turtles still dangerous under certain circumstances?
Dreaming of turtles crawling on the sand
Dream interpretation of turtles crawling on the sand. This dream is a harbinger that you need to try a little more, success is very close in front of you. Moreover, this dream also indicates that your intentions and success are almost within reach. Dreaming of turtles crawling on the grass is a harbinger of resounding success, wealth spreading like walking on grass.
Dreaming of turtles wrapped around their legs
Dreaming of turtles crawling on your feet, if you are a man, in this dream there is a woman many years older than you who has a husband and children who instigate you to commit a crime. You can get caught up in a whirlwind of mistakes without even knowing it.
Dreaming of a turtle giving birth To dream of a turtle giving birth to a litter of baby turtles, such a dream is a harbinger of a healthy baby. All the best, health, peace, luck and convenience to your family. Pregnant woman dreaming of turtles A pregnant woman dreams of turtles is a harbinger of the loss of a loved one. Pregnant women dream of turtles is a bad omen for health, please pay more attention to your best friend's health during this time. Dreaming of turtles biting me Dreaming of being bitten by a turtle will not bring you luck or failure. If a single person dreams of being bitten by a turtle, the love line will be more favorable. Dreaming of turtles biting also brings high income in the near future. >>>See more: https://mu88.watch/mo-thay-rua/

I met this older woman on Hinge and we got to talking. We both said we were sexually frustrated and talked about how we both want to end each others frustrations.
fast foward she says she wants to end it badly and asks if she can end it with another woman seeing as me and her are still both in the friend stage. I was hurt but I said of course, you are right. I re-read the messages and she subtly said she wanted my touch..but seconds later asked the question if she could go with another man.
she still wanted to get to know me but I was lowkey hurt..at the same time, we hadn't met, just face timed a handful of times so no reason I should be hurt, right? but it my mind I wanted us to have sex and for it to have a great moment of ending each others sexually frustrations..and instead she went to someone else..after talking about how much she wanted me to touch her all over.
On top of that, she hasn't even given me her actual phone number, she gave me a burner number - and I asked for her actual phone number and she said no.
Anyway, it hurt to end things with her because I kinda attached easily..but I just feel I'm thinking with my dick.
was I wrong to end things or not?

So I've been with my boyfriend (18) for almost a year now and we have had so many ups and downs because of her but let me start from the beginning. Me and my boyfriend met though his sister over a year in a half ago and we instantly had a crush on one other but I didn't act on it because I was friends with his sister. (19) eventually we started talking more and we wanted to get together so I asked her if she was comfortable with me dating her younger brother, and she said yes so we started dating on June 21st we started dating but then things took a trun for the worst. She started to say awful things about me and only called me if she need money or wanted me to fight someone which I never did. She added to group chats with her friends and my boyfriends ex saying they were going to beat me up for no reason I was fighting for our relationship and my self she eventually stopped for a little while but then on January 10th 2023 she texted on the Wong day it was the one year anniversary of a family members death and at first it was a normal conversation but quickly turn bad for some contacts my boyfriend is two years older than me and my family has met him and loves him she started to say my brother is going to break up with you when he turns 18 and I said ya we will see and she say ya we will because when my grandparents say it to your face I'm going to laugh my butt off and that I'm a pathetic little girl with no life or job. I lost my cool and I said to her (I'm not using her real name) I do have both of those things and I'm not a "little girl" I'm a young woman thank you very much and I'm more of a woman than you. How could you sit there and say all of this to a 15 year old. I do have a life thank you very much and I feel sorry that you have to stoop so lol to feel good about yourself I've tried to be nice to you on multiple occasions but at this point I'm so done with your bull. I love how you can say all this when you dated (not real name) Jaxon when he was 15 and you were 18. So you have no room to talk, I try to respect you because you're my boyfriends sister and I try so hard to keep my mouth shut but I'm not doing this today I'm at my wits end with you I've tried to be nice I've tried to be kind and I've done a lot for you I might add I have more of a life than you because I would never make someone my age feel the way you make me feel. Especially in the fact that you are an adult. She then went and on live her friend Kay and asked if she would jump me she said not and texted me and me and her and three of my friends told her off. Things went back to normal. Until last week I started to get threatening calls saying that I was going to get jumped by his sister's friends me and my boyfriend are in a hard place right now and are trying to fix things but it's getting harder and I need some advice on what to do I love my boyfriend but his sister is making my life hell. And for some more context she is 19 about to be 20 years old has absolutely no job and my boyfriend has four and he just turned 18. She does nothing in that house for anyone but herself. But keep butting into our relationship

I am looking for any confident straight men who likes to have their way with a girl’s mouth and use mine. Dont like reciprocation. I am shy but a needy slut CD gurl, looking for fit men and BWC and well groomed. Ht: 5’9ish, wt around180lbs. I like to be treated as a woman and service you as your girl. Like older men but be around 50 and clean. safe fun only. Be ddf. discr. vaccinated. close to seattle area. PM me. Prefer someone regularly making me go down on my knees and be my discreet man.

I f(63) have met a man , 58, he is lovely. He likes me and says we can be together. I’m afraid I don’t have the self esteem to carry this off. I’ll always wonder. Thoughts on older women/younger men relationship’s?

I am a 42-year-old woman. I just ended a four-year situationship with a guy who is 10 years younger than me (32M), after previously being in several short-term relationships following a breakup with my boyfriend of ten years (46M). I deleted online dating apps when I was with the guy I was in the situationship with. I was really into him, but he strung me along, gave mixed signals, and blamed me for enabling his supposed sexual addiction. During our last meeting, I was hurt by his words and actions, so I decided to end it and move on. I realized that I have values and cannot tolerate an emotionally unavailable and manipulative man. However, I still believe there is something good in him, and I think he should work on himself and seek therapy considering his childhood trauma and self-blame for mistreating women.
Anyway, getting back to the main point, I recently downloaded an online dating app just to browse and help myself move on from him. I don't have any expectations when it comes to men on dating apps, as I've encountered many who are not interested in serious relationships. Given my age, I thought my dating pool might be small, and I wouldn't find anything good on this app. Surprisingly, I've matched with a lot of younger guys or those around my age and slightly older. I have dated younger guys before, but I understand that they might not be ready for a committed relationship and want to explore. I won't force someone I've been with to be with me just because my biological clock is ticking, and I want to get married as soon as possible. However, I enjoy the energy of younger men, and I've been dating those who don't look too young but have a similar energy to mine. I am active, love the outdoors, and think I have a high sexual drive. I expect my partners to have a similar energy level.
I've been talking to some men on Tinder and have been avoiding those who are only looking for one-night stands. However, I went out with a (27M) who was traveling. I agreed to hang out because I enjoy making new friends from around the world. It wasn't intentional as a date, but he was sweet and respectful. After a few outings, my friend mentioned that she could feel the sexual tension between us. I initially thought we were just being friendly, but over time, as we kept texting, we developed chemistry and felt a desire to get closer. He came back to my town and booked a nice hotel. We spent the night watching movies and doing couple things. I knew this was just a fling since he would be leaving soon, but I enjoyed the feeling of getting close to someone when I thought I might end up single and would enjoy my single life.
However, I've also been talking to a guy my age who seems stable and wants something long-term. We haven't met yet because he's working out of town. I'm not really into him because I'm not sure if he's a real person. We can't video call because his phone is faulty and needs to be repaired in town. He's a little off-grid, and sometimes I feel like his way of talking and writing, as well as his manner of speaking, has an old-fashioned energy. I might be over-exaggerating, thinking he's too good to be true because he's good-looking, wants something serious, and actively talks to me. I've decided not to romanticize him until I meet him in person. I'm afraid I won't find him attractive when we meet for the first time, so I don't want to build up anything yet, even though he's already given the impression that he's falling for me.
I think I have a codependency style, which may be why I've had a lot of failed relationships. Alternatively, I might be too picky and afraid of someone who is overly into me, leading me to create reasons to eliminate them from my list. I'm torn about whether I should wait for another guy or give this guy a chance since he wants something serious and we're about the same age. However, there are certain qualities of his that I don't find attractive, such as his voice and his style of communication. Although I think he looks pleasant in the photos he sent me and I like his sense of dressing and fitness, I'm afraid he might be a scammer too since we can't video chat and there are some suspicious aspects. Most of his work-related conversations with me seem legitimate, though. But I also want to explore other people, and sometimes I think I avoid someone who is nice just because he makes it too easy. Hmm, I'm in a dilemma as I have dealt with many heartbreaks, even settling for less when people said I was too picky. Please advise, am I being avoidant or the one causing trouble here?
To add some details about myself, I have made friends of all different ages, ranging from people in their twenties to those in their eighties. I have both male and female friends, and I enjoy spending time with a younger group. People often tell me that I look younger than my age, sometimes even ten years younger. I love music and engaging in fun activities with my friends, as well as spending time with my nieces and nephews. Perhaps that's why I tend to enjoy hanging out with a younger crowd. However, I also value the company of older friends. I believe they have great wisdom in life, and we often have meaningful conversations about global issues and world politics. In terms of my style, I used to dress like I was stuck in my teenage years. But recently, I've been trying to incorporate some nice women's dresses into my wardrobe to appear more mature and ladylike.
P/s: Sorry for the long essay this is my first time posting here, English is my second language thanks to chatgpt did my proofread on Grammar so u guys can understand it lot more better lol, I have anxiety of posting stuff online anyway, I hope I can get a good point of view from women on similar situation. Thank you.

Candorick woke to the sounds of shells blasting above the underground barracks. The sounds had sent shutters throughout the massive room, knocking over anything that wasn’t bolted to the cold steel floor, from lasguns to prayer books, and even a few soldiers who slept too far on the edge of the bed. He stared across the room to the clock that now hung slightly crooked. It was about time to wake up anyways. He swung his legs around planting them on the floor. He then reached his arm around to the bed above him.
“Merok” he said, tapping his bunkmate's shoulder, “Time to wake up”.
“Five more minutes…” Merok groaned.
“Well I’m looking at the clock and you don’t have time to get your ‘five more minutes’ and not make the commissar angry” Candorick replied, now lightly shoving him to wake up.
“Fine, fine. I’ll get up, because apparently getting some karking sleep on this planet is illegal'' Merok replied begrudgingly.
Candorick threw Merok’s boots up top, their weight requiring both hands to lift them up, then promptly putting his clothes on and fully getting out of bed, meanwhile Merok was still fumbling around, trying to get his shirt on.
The entire barracks was awake by now, and the regular hustle and bustle of the base hummed to life.
As he walked along his route to exit the base for his post on the inner walls, he heard an announcement from the shoddy intercom system, “Will Corporal Candorick Lyels please report to Commander Lorals office immediately?”.
As soon as that information came on the intercom, a sense of immense fear ran through his spine. Candorick had heard stories of soldiers sent to a higher ups office only to come out in a body bag, and he did not want to be one of them. Even then, it was to go to his office or not go to his office and be executed on the spot, and maybe being killed by a commander would net him more fame in death.
So he walked towards the Commander's office, fear engulfing his body. As he saw the door, Merok sprinted towards him.
“CANDORICK! CANDORICK!” he shouted. “I ran here as soon as I heard the announcement!” “Are you sure you want to go in there? You know that people like us rarely come out of there alive right?”
“You and I both know I have no choice. So I’ll take my chances…” Candorick said as he opened the door to the commander's office.
Inside the well lit room, three people stood, one was of course, commander Lorals, behind him stood his faithful commissar. But another man who he had never seen before was also there. He wore gilded clothes, and was full of cybernetic implants, not enough to look like a Mechanicus upon close inspection, but from a distance it could appear so. Looking at them it appeared that most of these implants were there mainly to extend his lifespan. He clearly had wealth and lavished in the luxuries he had been given.
The rich man, looking at Candorick with a face of disgust, said, pompously, “Is this really my escort? He looks like he couldn’t even kill a single heretic.”
Commander Lorals replied in a calm tone, “He is actually one of our best soldiers. Before being assigned to defend this base, he racked up a kill count in the hundreds''.
“Well, he certainly doesn’t look the part, '' the rich man whispered under his breath.
The commander then turned to Candorick. “We have a new mission for you. This is Sir Retir Kurople and he wants to get off this planet. He is quite an old fellow and fears he might be in danger for assassination on his trip off Cadia, so he requested help from the guard, and since he is a frequent donator and owns the manufacturing company that produced the gun slung around your shoulder right now, we felt obliged to fulfill his request. You have been assigned his caretaker, and I trust that you will take care of him on his journey off Cadia.”
“Wait, does that mean I’m coming with him off planet?” Candorick replied in a panicked state.
“Yes, yes it does” the rich man says in a superior tone.
“Quite down! I am the one giving the orders!” The commander said as he pushed the rich man aside.
“You can’t be doing this to me! We’ve been holding off the heretics for four approaching five years now, and I have diligently been serving every step of the way. And now you want to send me off just as we…” Candorick trails off as he sees the commissar grip his hand across his laspistol.
“I am doing this to you, and you will do it, whether you like it or not.” the commander replies, “Let’s not keep the man waiting for us to be overrun, he requested we leave as soon as we could, and you can leave right now, right?”.
“Yes, sir” Candorick replies begrudgingly as he salutes the commander.
He walks out the door, and sees Merok still waiting outside his door, he is clearly on the verge of tears on the bench beside the office.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at your post?” Candorick says.
“You're alive!” Merok replies, relieved, he runs up to hug him.
“They’re sending me off-world to escort a noble to a new home” Candorick says, depressingly.
“I’ll take that my friend, I’ll take that” Merok says, tightening his hug on Candorick.
“At least I don’t have to mourn you.” Merok responds, still acting relieved of his friend's continual existence.
“I might never be able to see you again. And to think after all these years, I was JUST starting to stand you” Candorick says, chuckling. They share a laugh, and one final goodbye, as they part ways in the poorly lit hallway Merok yells out.
“You think I’ll ever see you again Candorick?”
“Hopefully, my friend. Hopefully”
The rich man then promptly exits the office, clapping his hands, then saying “let’s move brute.”
“I am not a brute” Candorick says back, angrily.
“You are as long as you choose to follow your orders. And surely you’ll follow orders…” the rich man turns his head towards Candorick, inquisitively. “Now let’s move.”
Candorick slings his lasgun across his shoulder as he speedwalks to catch up to the man, who clearly is in a rush to get out of this place.
The trip was rather uneventful. Obviously, the evacuation ships were a reasonable distance from the frontline, as to minimize civilian casualties from heretic bombardment. But a fair distance from any frontline was pretty hard to find since the beginning of the siege, and even once the ship came into sight, the screams of guardsmen and heretics could still be heard all around him.
To Candorick, the screams were nothing, it was nothing extremely special, the sounds of war had been tuned out in his mind. Those who let the sounds dig under their skin were normally the ones to go first. However, the rich man seemed more affected by it, he looked almost sick.
A line as long as the eye could see sat at the entrance to the ship. The line consisted mostly of the elderly and the young children, all looking malnourished and wearing ragged clothes. Everyone else had been drafted into the fighting. The sounds of babies crying and even some of the elderly crying echoed throughout the docking bay, and it was clear a sad aroma wafted itself throughout the dark metal building.
“Final call for epsilon class passengers. All epsilon class passengers please report to the gate for priority entry onto passenger ship 9-8-B Alpha.” A PA system echoed throughout the room.
“Oh that’s me! Candorick, will you please escort me through these peasants blocking my way?” The rich man said, ushering Candorick in front of him.
“Understood.” Candorick said begrudgingly, shoving his way through the crowd as the rich man waddled behind him.
As Candorick shoves the massive crowd, he hears an argument happening ahead. An older couple stood at the gate, arguing with the soldier checking the passengers' information.
“You can’t do this!” The old man says. “My family has served the imperium for a thousand years and now you reward us with this! You should be ashamed of yourself!”
“I’m sorry, but you don’t have clearance to get on this ship. Next passenger please!” The soldier at the gate said.
“No you don’t!” The older man says, trying to grapple the guard behind the table.
“Stop Gerald! You’re scaring the grandchildren!” The older woman says, moving her hand to hide a group of 5 or 6 small children behind her. “I already lost my daughter, I can’t lose you.”
The older man looks back at what appears to be his wife. Stopping his attempt at grappling the guard. “I’m sorry my darling I…” He stops as Candorick shoves him to the side.
“I’ve got an Epsilon class passenger ready to board the ship,” Candorick says, the rich man waddling in front of him.
“Credentials?” The gate guard says.
“Oh yes, I’ve got it right here.” The rich man says as he fumbles through his pockets, pulling out a small chip, and handing it to the guard.
“Sir Retir the Third of House Kurople and one soldier escort, check. Ok, you are clear to go.” The guard says, pressing a button on the massive panel in front of him, causing the small door letting them into the ship's entryway to open. “Your quarters are on deck A subsection C, have a nice trip.”
Candorick begins to step onto the ship closely followed by the rich man. As the door begins to close, the guard at the gate yells out to the crowd. “Ok that’s it for today, everybody clear out…” the voice stops as the door clamps shut.
Candorick looks back around for the rich man. He spots him already climbing up the stairs to the upper decks. Candorick sprints to catch up with him.
“No, no, no you’re not coming up here with me. It’s meant for your betters, not you, you brute! Stay on this level, make yourself useful.” The old man says as he closes the door to the stairwell.
Candorick looks around. He looks at a map of the ship. “Deck C subsection A” he sees on the metal sign plastered above the hallway. He heads down the closest hallway, the eerie silence of the ship, allowing for him to hear the creaks of the waning ship.
As he approaches the end of the hallway, he begins to hear the sounds of talking again. Above the end of the hallway reads a sign saying “Lower-Class Common Area”.
The room is a large rectangular area, filled with round, metal tables and chairs. Around each chair sits various groups of people, from what appears to be gangsters to poor families, all happy they got on the ship at all. Along the left side of the room rests several glass panels that would show space, if they were off the ground, but for now all they show is the cold, steel walls of the side of the hangar. Pipes run throughout the room, and while not cramped for space, the sheer amount of people in here clearly show this room was not meant to be filled to this capacity.
Candorick spots an empty spot on the wall and pushes through the crowd to sit along the wall, sitting down and leaning on one of the large pipes sticking out of the wall.
“Karking upper-spiremen, always think they’re better than everyone else, sent me down here even though he could clearly let me up there…”
After a long day of walking to the hangar and being worried about his imminent doom, fatigue had gripped Candorick, and he fell asleep lying on the uncomfortable, hard pipe.
He woke up to the sounds of screams of terror. He opened his eyes groggily, and saw that everyone was crowding around the glass to the outside. He used his strength to shove through the crowd, and got a clear view of what was going on.
In front of him lay Cadia, but something was wrong. Besides the massive battles that even from this distance could be seen, a massive structure was falling from orbit. It had been the massive fortress that the heretic forces had placed in orbit at the beginning of the siege. It was rapidly hurdling itself towards the surface, and was crashing itself down like a massive artificial meteor onto the planet's surface.
He watched as the fortress collided with the Cadian soil.
It was as if the world was a piece of paper, that had been lit aflame. The entire world turned orange as the fortress disappeared and instead became the source of a massive wave of fire that had soon engulfed the planet. Entire chunks of the planet tore themselves from the core. He could see the rays of light from the constant torrent of lasgun fire on the planet stop one by one, as the planet was turned into debris.
Merok, his family, his heritage, his homeland. All destroyed in the blink of an eye. Before he could process what had just happened, a voice sounded from behind him.
“This is all your fault.”
Candorick looked around, seeing a small child with an ear to ear smile, staring at him, blankly.
“You should have died with them,” another voice said from his side, coming from a man staring at him with the same look as the girl.
“It was your duty to serve with your fellow soldiers until the end, and you didn’t.” An elderly woman says in a monotone voice, staring at him as well with that same, creepy smile.
“What? What’s happening?” Candorick says as he looks around him.
Soon the entire crowd is staring at him. “You ran away…” they say in unison, as they all slowly walk towards Candorick, arms outstretched.
“No! No! Stay away! All of you!” Candorick says as they begin to grapple him, him trying to frantically push them off.
They surround him and pin him to the ground. “STOP IT GET OFF!” He screams as they begin to tear into his flesh. He lets out a primal scream as he wakes up, launching his head forward into the steel bed frame of the bunk above him. It makes a loud clanging sound as Candorick crumples back into his bed, rubbing his forehead, now in serious pain.
He looks around the massive bunk room in the Mourningstar. Everyone is fast asleep, resting up for their next assignment. The dark, damp room is mostly silent, except for the distant snores of the Ogryns (which have their own barracks apart from the baseline humans due to their bigger frame).
“Something troubles you, associate” the voice from above the top bunk says. “You’ve been tossing and turning all night.”
“None of your business, Keating.” Candorick replies.
“No need to worry, I already know what you were dreaming about.” Keating says.
“You were reading my karking mind again, witch! How many times have I told you to keep your freakish powers to yourself!” Candorick says, angrily.
“I don’t really have a choice in the matter. Your dreams are so strong that I can barely get any sleep around you.” Keating replies.
“Makes me wonder why they placed a witch above me! Maybe it would do both of us better if you slept somewhere else!” Candorick once again responds.
“You know we don’t have a choice, roughneck. We are assigned beds and you don’t move until you die, simple as that.” Keating states. “You know, if you ever need help, you can always ask. Might even be doing myself a…”
“I don’t need your help witch! I’m perfectly fine on my own. I don’t need you messing with my head to fix something that isn’t there.” Candorick says angrily at Keating.
“I beg to differ…” Keating says
“Be quiet witch! I need to be ready for tomorrow's assignment.” Candorick says.
“Have it your way.” Keating replies as both of them drift off, once again, into sleep.

I'm a woman in my mid 20s and firmly OAD. I currently take BC pills but would eventually like to move to something more permanent like tubal ligation
Has anyone here had luck being approved for the procedure? I know they usually approve women after having multiple kids/multiple C sections but maybe the rules are becoming more lax and it's easier for younger and OAD women to get tubal ligation?
I'm also seeing a man who has a son whos grown up and is older so he also doesn't want more kids and is willing to get snipped, if I show up with a man who approves will that help my chances? The reason I still want tubal ligation despite him willing to get a vasectomy is because I'm still young and theres no guarenteeing my relationship will last forever

For context, I’m 20 years old. I’m not a good person and I’ve come to accept this, not as an excuse to not try to be better, I always want to try to be, but just as a fact of who I am as what I’ve done could only be a result of that fact. When I was six years old my parents got the family 2 dogs because me and my brother wanted some from seeing them on tv. I now recognize that the way I treated those dogs was almost assuredly abusive. We didn’t ever hit them for than flick on the nose, but we shouldn’t have done that at all. I also didn’t take care for their needs well at all. They were fed and watered but not walked at all consistently. They also were played with only sometimes. For the most part they hung out in our backyard. They also only got vet visits when they were sick or hurt. Alongside this my family got 2 rabbits when I was 14 who mostly hung out inside of a fairly large cage all day with water and food. I remember one of them having bruises from the other. I recognize that I I also engaged in abusive behavior towards them. My family eventually moved to another state and we gave away the rabbits to a no kill shelter and we took the dogs with us.Still I engaged in clearly abusive behavior like sometimes when I wanted to hang out at someone’s house or fire works going off we would put the dogs in the utility room with water and while this room wasn’t tiny this was clearly me neglecting my duties for my own satisfaction. At the start of the new year I began to recognize my abuse and started trying to take better care of them, by taking them for a daily walk and giving them more affection. Unfortunately I still engaged in sub par care cause I would do things like take them for walks through snow without checking the temperature. Luckily neither ever caught frostbite but still the degree of irresponsibly I engaged in is bad. Honestly it bothers me that they still loved me, they let me pet their belly’s, when I put my hand on ones belly she would put her paw on my arm to pet me back. Despite everything I had done they still loved me. Three months into this year one the two dogs passed, ironically the younger and healthier one. It happened in one day, she suddenly fell ill. My parents set up a vet visit for her and I thought she would be okay as the symptoms had only set in that day so I went about my day normally. I later came out to visit her and watched over her for a while before work. She at one point passed blood and I called my parents to tell them I wanted to take her to the emergency vet. They told me to not panic and that it was possibly just mucous. I eventually left for my job cause I knew my parents would be home in twenty minutes to take care of her. I kissed her on the head and pet her before I left. This was the last time I ever saw her, my mom got home and she said she was doing okay till her condition deteriorated and my mom tried to get her to the vet but she passed before they got there. I wont forgive myself for not being there when she passed, she was probably scared and in pain and I wasn’t there to comfort her. After her passing this I began to realize that my care still wasn’t good enough and that even in my other dogs last couple months I wasn’t doing a good job, and for that I will always carry regrets. As with the other dog I began to recognize some of the worse medical problems he has and still does, he doesn’t have very great teeth cause he never got regular dental and even the most recent trip to the vet the vet recommended against a teeth cleaning as he stated that while my dogs teeth were dirty they were structurally sound and that he thought the heightened risk of anesthesia was too high despite his blood levels looking fine. He also noted that by virtue of being an old dog he had some arthritis and while he didn’t recommend us any pain meds at least not yet, I’ve been doing my best to get him vitamin supplements to help him. I’ve been trying to give him more care and affection since he’s also in his later years, he gets a daily 30 minute walk where he gets to go at his own pace and sniff around. It makes me happy but also frustrated that despite everything he still likes me, at least most days he still seems happy. I also try to spend at least two hours of my day with him when I can. I won’t claim I’m always good, I’ve had an incident where I took him for a walk when it was too hot out and while he didn’t burn his paws I was irresponsible again. There were times where actions I took accidentally got him to slip down some stairs, and even though he never limped, I regret this. Even just today I accidentally over-walked him in an attempt to help with him being slightly overweight and he wasn’t hurt but tired. I’m saying this emphasize I know I still have a lot of growing to do and I’m sorry deeply when I make these mistakes. It also been difficult cause my family recently got a new puppy who somewhat bothers the older dog, and the old dog has even recently taken to sleeping in my parents bathroom, which they allow. He’s a good little guy and I’m gonna do my best to not make the same mistakes I made the first time. Also once my older dog does pass, I’m going to try and donate my time to an animal rescue shelter at least once a week. I already donate 25 dollars to a bunny charity once a week to hopefully start making up for what I did the poor rabbits. I recognize that I’ve engaged with terrible behavior and some of this behavior lingers. I know I could use excuses like “I was just young and didn’t know better” or “I was focused on things like my education”. I don’t want to use those though, I recognize those are ways of me pushing the blame off of myself when it’s weight and gnawing is what I should rightfully feel. Even now I feel like I’m lying to my friends, while I talk about some of this with them, as I don’t talk about it all. It’s also hard to now as I’m kinda lying to you all because I’m too cowardly to put a name to this post. I sometimes do wonder if I just fear the social consequences of what I’ve done. I will say one thing I hate about myself with this situation is me being an infinite baby about it. Despite knowing I don’t deserve it I still want empathy from others, even now I want empathy but I know I don’t deserve it. My parents have decided to let me see a counselor about some of these feelings, my first session was yesterday. He was a very nice man but I don’t know how much distance he’ll make with me, I’m still as I said before a bad person fundamentally. I know writing this that I’m still a coward, I’m not willing to put a name to this post cause it fills my stomach with a sinking pit. I won’t lie some days it’s still pretty hard to keep up with cause I’ve lost a lot of time for hobbys and to be honest engaging with them now, kinda makes me feel guilty, like I’m being neglectful again. If you’ve read this whole post thank you for letting me air things out

Hey there! I am a woman chasing my dreams, yeah still chasing them but I'm sure I'm gonna reach them soon. I am someone who can be a hermit but can be outdoorsy if I want to. I love exploring new places when I have free time.
I'm single, no kids and never been married. I'm colombian/caucasian, curly hairs and curvy. as for hobbies I enjoy watching anime and netflix series, I'm into outdoor activity to like camping and suchs.
Actually, I'm not closing my door for things like relationships and getting intimate with each other's body but I'm not really rushing it. You know it really takes time to commit to someone especially when it's about long term. So if we are a match, don't be shy and just message me. And if you feel lonely, alone and you need someone to talk to. You can hit me up as well, as what they said, sometimes it's better to talk to a stranger than to a well known person but yet stranger. By the way, I appreciate it if you're older than me, not really a fan of talking to someone younger than me.
What am I looking for:
Between the ages of 25 to 30's and up!
Height doesn't matter
Good listener
Please be in USA, if not don't dm me thanks!
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day reading this. Please message about yourself if you take an interest in me :3 I will not reply to low effort messages or just a "hey". Please tell me your name, age and location right from the start so that we'll know where to start.

Discord Username: sketch
Character Name and House: Alyse Allyrion
Age: 23
Appearance: Alyse is a slender woman of average stature. She has olive skin and a square-shaped face with round brown eyes, framed by long, dirty blonde hair. Her vibrant Dornish dresses lend further emphasis to her heritage.
Gift: Gossiper
Skills: Deceiver(e), Espionage, Subtle(e)
Talent(s): Harping, Poetry, Singing
Starting Title(s): Spymaster of Dragonstone
Starting Location: King's Landing
Family Tree: House Allyrion of Godsgrace
Alternate Characters: Lianna Mallister
Character Name and House: Willam Wells
Age: 25
Appearance: Strong arms compensate for Willam’s thin frame and lackluster height of five-and-a-half feet. He has tan skin, dark wavy hair and a neatly stubbled jaw. His otherwise plain attire is usually paired with a colorful cloak.
Gift: Champion
Skills: Axes, Berserker, Defender
Talent(s): Fishing, Hunting, Swimming
Starting Title(s): Knight
Starting Location: King’s Landing
Family Tree: House Wells of Deep Well

Alyse Allyrion, Scion of Godsgrace

Alyse was the third of four children born to Tyene Allyrion and Morgan Vaith, a distinguished knight who perished a few years later in Dorne’s unsuccessful defense against the Iron Throne’s aggression.
For as long as she could remember, Godsgrace was always a household divided. Tyene and her twin sister, Tanselle, were rival heirs to their house’s titles; though the former had supposedly been born first, the latter was their father’s favorite.
Two stories always loomed large during Alyse’s upbringing. One was that of the fallen, who had given their lives to resist their kingdom’s conquest. The other was all she could see in those who survived: petty squabbles over the remaining scraps.
She was at least granted several years’ reprieve from the tensions at home when she was warded with her Vaith kin. When she returned to Godsgrace in her adolescence, she had little choice but to partake in the game at hand. Alyse learned to play politics at the most intimate level, doing all she could to advance her mother’s standing with her grandfather and her peers so that her line might someday succeed him.
By the time she came of age, Alyse had proven herself a reliable asset in her mother’s ambitions. She was often brought along on diplomatic visits to other lordly courts, but every new friend she made for herself earned a new enemy in exchange. It was not long before she grew tired of the turmoil at Godsgrace, and again she found refuge at Vaith.
This far healthier relationship with her paternal kin was eventually leveraged to earn herself a place at the princely court of House Martell. She at first flourished in Sunspear’s social circles, and fell into an influential faction - but her personal ambitions were still thwarted and undermined by her own kin. Her aunt Tanselle enjoyed the favor of the Martells, and was all but certain to enjoy their backing when the old lord of Godsgrace eventually passed.
Neither was Alyse optimistic about the reigning prince’s posture toward Dorne’s half-completed conquest. It became clear to her that her kingdom was now without its true leaders, and she resolved to support the last of that line. With Prince Aegon’s surprising appointment as the heir to the Iron Throne, Alyse saw potential for Dorne to enjoy liberty and a lasting peace with the Seven Kingdoms.
Alyse left for King’s Landing in 205 AC, where she offered her fealty and service to the crown prince. Her position at the royal court was at first tenuous, with one of Dorne’s greatest foes holding command over the king’s council, but she strove to ingratiate herself with anyone open to a foreigner’s friendship. Alyse’s penchant for music and poetry distinguished her as a lady of culture, and an ear for gossip helped her stay abreast of the fickle politics of the Red Keep. In the meantime, she cultivated valuable contacts in the lower streets of the city.
Almost two years after Alyse’s arrival in the Crownlands, Prince Aegon was formally installed on his seat of Dragonstone. In recognition of her talent as a rumormonger, she was elevated to serve as his spymaster. She has since set to work on expanding the reach of her eyes and ears, so that her prince might preempt any attempt to deny him his birthright.

• 184 AC: Alyse is born the third child of Tyene Allyrion and Morgan Vaith
• 187 AC: The Red War ends in Dorne’s defeat, with Alyse’s father among the fallen
• 204 AC: Alyse begins a brief and unsuccessful stint as a courtier at Sunspear
• 205 AC: Alyse leaves for King’s Landing, where she joins Aegon’s growing entourage of supporters

Willam Wells, Scion of Deep Well

Born a few years before the war with the Iron Throne, Willam Wells was raised on stories of bravery and sacrifice. His father had the good fortune of living to tell these tales, and believed it his duty to ensure that the next generation was as stalwart as the last.
Always slight in stature, Willam was pressured into a path for which he was not naturally suited. He squired for a knight of House Toland at Ghost Hill, where older and stronger boys left him with little choice but to grow thicker skin. He worked hard to prove himself better, learning to defuse his own temper with humor and humility.
By the time he came of age and earned his anointment, he had proven himself one of the most promising young knights in Dorne. Through merit alone he earned himself a place as a sworn sword at the princely court, but he found all his talents going to waste in the confines of Sunspear. The fights all around him were not the sort for which he’d trained.
Among his closest friends at Sunspear was Alyse Allyrion, who wisely elected to leave Dorne for the service of Aegon Targaryen. The next year, an increasingly restless Willam followed suit, seeking an escape from his idle routine. He did well to adapt to a crowded city in a hostile kingdom, and has since remained a reliable retainer to the crown prince.

• 182 AC: Willam is born to Arthur Wells and Dyanna Ladybright
• 194 AC: Willam is sent away to Ghost Hill to squire for a man of House Toland
• 202 AC: Willam is anointed a knight and takes up service as a sworn sword at Sunspear
• 206 AC: Following Alyse’s lead, Willam travels to King’s Landing to serve the crown prince

Supporting Characters

Ynys Allyrion (Archery)

• The youngest Allyrion sister has recently arrived at King’s Landing to impose herself at Alyse’s side, intent on sharing in the fruits of her ambitions.

Nate Sand (Swords)

• A bastard of House Ladybright, Ser Nate followed his cousin, Willam Wells, in taking up service to the Prince of Dragonstone.

I have a violent background but changed my ways after having my kids. My daughter 16 has been having issues with an older woman (closer to my age) My daughter is nothing like I was at her age. I grew up rough but my childhood was much different than the one I gave my child. I'm not proud of this but the violent side of me didn't change over night and sadly my kids saw me fight my last fight and my babies were scared of me so, from that day forward I knew I had to really change and I did I changed my location, friends and mind mentality for them. Back to the present this woman seems admin on verbally attacking my child. My kid has reported her and I have gone up to my daughter's job I've even gone as far as telling my daughter that there are other jobs out there but this job is something were she is getting experience for her career after college. This lady today told my daughter that she wants a physical altercation and I can't have that. The bosses claim they have no proof of a physical matter being put out there so "their hands are tied" direct qoute from the manager. So would I be the AH if I showed up and handled it my way? I think I maybe the AH cause I'm sure there is another way to go about this and this is just an itch I just want to scratch
Edit: My daughter didn't want to tell me but I over heard her talking with her younger brother and when I made my presence known she felt forced to tell me and I think she is still scared from pass trauma due to my ignorance.
Edit 2: Anyone with any advice and suggestions? I'm worried I'm not thinking straight.