I have a good friend that owns a physical hard drive data recovery and forensics company. They have been in business for close to 25 years now. They are ISO certified (forget the specific thing, but they spent a TON of money to get to it like 15 years ago, clean room, static, benchwork training etc) and overall business has been good. But starting maybe 5 years ago, the threats starting growing of ransomware being the reason why people are losing data vs. dead hard drives or other physical recovery which is what he specializes in, and business has reflected that. I am also sure that more data being stored in the cloud vs in prem doesn't help the situation.
In any case, he still has a long work life ahead of him, but he is starting to feel a little unsure about the future and where he will stand. He dabbled in doing repair work since his team is familiar with board level repair, but it hasn't really helped, and he would get far more busted screens (race to the bottom type work) vs laptops and that sort. He also does cloud back up, but the corporate customers have their internal IT or MSPs, plus a gluttony of options out there for that (regardless of how good or bad some of them are.
He reached out to me for ideas of what he can do with his staff. He thinks if things continues the way they are for another 5 years, he will be out of business. What ideas would you guys recommend?

Melinda and the Little Green Men
by Andrew Roller
Melinda and the Little Green Men
Table of Contents
Chapter One - A Sad End
Chapter Two - A Castle for a Queen
Chapter Three - Incommodious
Chapter Four - The Sewer Room
Chapter Five - The Teleport Threat
Chapter Six - Neverwhere
Chapter Seven - Permanent Perigee
Chapter Eight - Losers Welcome ( Especially )
Chapter Nine - Buried Alive
Chapter Ten - Gone Away
Chapter Eleven - Dead Broke
Chapter Twelve - Grave’s End
Chapter Thirteen - Audition
Chapter Fourteen - Heavenly Flush
Chapter Fifteen - Coffined
Chapter Sixteen - The Big Bang
Chapter Seventeen - A Sucky Day
Chapter Eighteen - Examination
Chapter Nineteen - Expelled
Chapter Twenty - Enslaved
Chapter Twenty-One - The Bugler
Chapter Twenty-Two - The Gates of Salvation
Chapter Twenty-Three - The Amateur Genius
Chapter Twenty-Four - Pooper’s Paradise
Chapter Twenty-Five - Eisegesis
Melinda and the Little Green Men
by Andrew Roller
Chapter One - A Sad End
It was their last day on earth. The two girls, playing in the field in their suburban neighborhood, didn’t know this. If Melinda and Emily were ever to return to earth, it wouldn’t be for a very long time.
Melinda was ten years old. I could say that she looked “striking”. Or I could use some other politically correct term. In fact, she was very lovely. Her lank, flaxen hair fell to her slim waist. A white string bikini clung to her svelte figure.
Emily was seven years old. Her short red hair fell to her shoulders. Stout, she resembled a girl version of Winnie-the-Pooh. Emily wore a one-piece floral print swimsuit. Both girls had on rubber flip-flops.
Emily was clever. Though she was only seven years old, she wore a red fireman’s hat with the number “21” printed on it. Emily hoped that her hat would fool people into believing that she was older, or even that she was a fireman.
On this bright sunny day, something flashed in the sky. Both girls saw the silvery disc as it caught the sunlight. Emily was quick to figure out what it was.
“It’s a flying saucer!” Emily said. Melinda, who was taller than Emily, watched it with her friend. The saucer sailed over the neighborhood. As it approached, the girls saw it clearly. It had a flat circular base, and a domed top. A line of porthole-like windows encircled the lower part of the dome. There was a front-facing windshield.
The saucer, and its shadow, skimmed over the field. The saucer’s shadow briefly engulfed the girls. Then the saucer passed over a treeline. It settled into tree-dotted scrubland. From that place came a sound of snapping tree limbs, and of brush being crushed. Silence followed.
“Let’s go!” Emily urged. Both girls wanted a closer look at the flying saucer. It was unimaginable that such an object could land in their neighborhood! The girls had no idea that they would soon be swept up in an ongoing galactic war. They rushed into the treeline. Then Melinda and Emily crept into the shady brush beyond.
The saucer was there. It stood on metal legs, hulking amid the surrounding trees. An electrical hum, like that put out by high tension wires, came softly from the saucer’s smooth hull.
An airlock opened in the side of the saucer. A stair-equipped gangplank descended. Then, as Melinda and Emily watched, a line of little green men came down the gangplank. The men were about as tall as the girls. They were carrying a pink worm. It was a big worm, as big as a little green man.
The men laid their worm down on the grass. The last men in the group had brought shovels. The shortest of the little green men was in charge of the men. Named Chirpley, he set several men to work digging a hole.
Emily crept forward. Melinda tried to stop her, but decided to accompany her. The little green men saw the girls. There was a mutual cry of surprise from both parties. The men stopped their digging. Emily asked what they were doing.
“We’re digging a grave,” Chirpley answered. He and the other men stood with solemn faces. Emily, who sometimes went fishing, said that it was odd to bury a worm. She only dug worms out of the earth.
Chirpley stood straighter. He, like his fellows, had a round head. Two green antennae stuck out of the top of his head. He was without clothing, except for a white loincloth that, being puffy and full, resembled diapers. Chirpley wore white gloves. On his small feet were big, rhinestone-studded cowboy boots.
“This is no ordinary worm!” Chirpley told the girls. “It’s our queen!”
“Except she’s dead now,” a second little green man said. He looked much like Chirpley, with a round head and antennae. He wore a loincloth, gloves, and cowboy boots.
“She was a very old queen,” a third little green man said.
“So, since she’s dead, we must bury her,” a fourth little green man said. There were, in all, a dozen of them.
“Stand aside!” Chirpley told the girls. It didn’t matter that the girls were already at a distance from the dead worm. Chirpley rarely missed a chance to look important. Even in front of little Earth girls.
The little green men dug their grave. Or, rather, a few of them did, while the others watched this with Melinda and Emily. Chirpley supervised.
The dead queen was buried. The little green men had just filled in her grave when someone, off in the trees, yelled,
“Attack!” Stones and handfuls of dirt flew from the treeline. Several little green men were hit by the stones. A stone banged off of Emily’s Fire hat. She and Melinda screamed. So did the little green men. The men ran back aboard their flying saucer and, as neighborhood boys whooped and hollered, and threw more dirt and stones, Melinda and Emily followed the men.
No sooner had the green men and the girls rushed into the saucer, than something came out of it. Two somethings, in fact. They were grotesque. Ghosts, they resembled white sheets torn by the wind from a clothesline.
The boys charged from the trees. They were attacking through the shady brush when the ghosts set upon them.
“OOOOOO!” the ghosts howled. The boys screamed in terror. They fled back into the trees, and into the field.
The saucer hummed more loudly. Its gangplank retracted. Just before the ship buttoned itself up, the ghosts zipped back inside of it. The saucer whisked into the sky. It disappeared beyond the clouds.
Within the saucer, Melinda and Emily cringed before the ghosts. These hung over them, looking horrid. The ghosts had blank, bulging eyes, and gaping mouths with fangs. They had scared the boys, and were now scaring the girls. To the little green men, they were damn annoying.
“Our spaceship’s haunted,” Gauss apologized. He was one of the men. He and several of his crewmates, though dressed like the others, also wore utility belts.
“But we got it at a discount,” a fellow crewman said. The green men stood with the girls on the saucer’s bridge. To one side was the closed airlock. To the right, and to the rear, the bridge opened onto other rooms.
The saucer was named “Regoob”. Compared to a military cruiser, it was a little ship. Yet Regoob was plenty roomy. Its many spaces held a number of unwanted passengers. But these occupants were mostly small, and furtive, unlike the two hovering ghosts.
One occupant was big. He was a worm, like the men’s dead queen. He slithered about in the saucer’s recesses. Except now. Curious about the girls, this worm peered from a shadowed corridor. Then, he did the one thing that he was known for, and named for. He farted.
“Farrrrrrrrt!” It was a big, smelly fart. Both girls clutched their little noses. The little green men did the same. The ghosts, who had been so hideously maleficent, fled. An embarrassed Fartley slipped away into the ship.
“Peeyou!” Emily cried. Melinda echoed her. The girls made for the airlock. That’s when they realized that Regoob was airborne. In fact, the little saucer was far beyond the Earth.
“We’d better go home,” Melinda said. Emily wasn’t so sure. The saucer’s pilot’s seat, before its dashboard and its windshield, struck her as inviting.
“Can I drive?” she asked. Since no one was, at the moment, controlling where the saucer went, she figured she might try.
That’s when Gauss saw the Moon approaching. It was approaching fast. He gave a cry of alarm. The other men, now seeing what he saw, gave panicked yells.
Emily jumped into the pilot’s chair. Grabbing the saucer’s yoke, she steered the ship clear of the Moon.
“Hooray!” the little green men yelled, with Melinda. Emily continued to fly the speeding saucer. Gauss gave her driving tips.
Soon, the ship was approaching Jupiter. As anyone who’s watched the film “2001: A Space Odyssey” knows, or even the film, “Starship Poopers”, Jupiter is no ordinary planet. It’s a gateway to other parts of the galaxy.
Emily couldn’t resist flying through a galactic gateway. Regoob sped toward Jupiter. The planet soon filled Regoob’s windshield.
Within Jupiter’s clouds was a bright oval. This wasn’t Jupiter’s red spot, but a metal doughnut. This doughnut, however, was slender. It was dotted by circular lights.
“Head for the center!” Gauss said to Emily. She did. Regoob shot through the slim doughnut and into hyperspace.
A kaleidoscope of colors streaked past Regoob. They were very pretty. The girls remarked upon them as Regoob tunneled through our galaxy.
The little saucer popped from hyperspace. It sailed among the ordinary stars again. Ahead was a ringed planet.
“That’s Quigley!” Zolna, one of the little green men, told the girls.
“We live there, in a castle.” Gauss said.
“A castle!” Melinda was impressed.
“Does your castle have a fireman?” Emily asked. The answer was “no”. So Emily, who was now Regoob’s pilot, asked to be the men’s fireman as well. The men agreed.
This left Melinda wondering what she could be. Before dinner, of course, since she still hoped to get home soon.
“You can be our queen!” Zolna told her.
“I’ll be the princess!” Emily said. She was still intent, too, on being the men’s fireman and pilot.
“I’m the king!” Chirpley said. This brought Fartley-like noises from the other men. So Chirpley settled on being what he already was, the men’s captain.
Somewhere in the ship, Fartley ensured his place in this little world, by farting.
Quigley loomed. Space traffic was flowing toward the purple planet. Quigley was belted by shimmering rings. But their colors clashed. Melinda remarked on this.
“It’s better than having no rings at all, like Earth,” Chirpley riposted. He did not mention that planet Quigley lacked a moon.
Emily followed the space traffic into Quigley’s atmosphere. There, the ships scattered to their destinations. Emily, directed by Gauss, flew over a city. Its buildings, compared to those on Earth, were outlandishly shaped. Beyond the city lay a beach community. And then, shining to the sunlit horizon, was a lavender sea.
“Land there,” Gauss told Emily. He meant the far side of the beach community, near the seashore. Emily put the saucer down in a patch of sand.
Regoob stood upon its metal legs amid other parked spaceships. Makeshift buildings were also neighbors to to Regoob. No castle was in sight. The sea lay near.
Chapter Two - A Castle for a Queen
Zolna opened the airlock. Its gangplank lowered, and the men and the girls disembarked. The hour was noon. It was hot. There was a salt tang in the air and, in the distance, the waves could be heard as they broke along the shore.
Chirpley led the party along a sandy trail. It wound between the spaceships and the homes. Hofsted, the fattest of the little green men, waddled at the file’s rear. He complained about leaving the ship.
“We’ll be at our castle soon,” Chirpley said.
The beach community slumbered in the seaside air. There were odd odors. These smells, of cooking food, caused Hofsted to say he was hungry. The men ignored him. A seagull sailed overhead.
Creatures gazed here and there from the spaceships and from the homes. Their alien faces startled Melinda and Emily. It was as if they’d wandered into a back lot on Star Wars, full of extras in outlandish costumes! Some of the aliens were surprised to see the girls.
“What are Earthlings doing here?!” an alien asked.
“There goes the neighborhood,” an alien, observing the girls, lamented.
Chirpley heard this.
“Commoners!” he riposted, to his alien neighbors. “Show some respect for royalty!” Melinda realized that Chirpley meant her, and Emily. She blushed. As for Emily, she trotted along with a self-confident look. She’d piloted a flying saucer, and now she was the inheritor of Luke Skywalker’s realm. Plus she was a fireman, and a princess. This was a fine day!
The trail led onto the beach. It was mostly vacant on this weekday, with a few bathers and seagulls. Chirpley indicated a large sculpted heap of sand on the shore. It stood just above where the inrolling sea boiled.
“There it is!” he said. He and his crewmates beamed at Melinda and Emily.
The men had built a big sand castle. It had some attractive towers, a wall and a moat. Several small flags, in various colors, decorated the edifice. An old door lay across the moat. It gave access to a hole in the ground, that the castle enclosed.
Emily was entranced. When the men invited her to come inside, meaning down into the hole, she agreed. Melinda cautiously accompanied them. As she did, she seemed to hear her name on the wind. But she saw nothing unusual, besides the bathing aliens and the seagulls.
Zolna led the group into the hole. He did so with a flashlight. Several other men lit flashlights too, as the group entered the hole.
The hole had a stone staircase. It had been carved by time, and by an intelligent hand. Sand dusted or clung to some of the steps. So did seaweed and seashells. These also cluttered the floor of the cave that the stairs led down into. An old stove sat in the cave.
“This is Mr. Lehman’s cave,” Zolna told Melinda and Emily.
“We used to be his gardeners,” Hofsted said proudly.
“Gardners?” Melinda asked. She saw only stone, and the oceans’s detritus.
“It was an easy job,” Hofsted admitted.
“He’s a sailor,” Chirpley said.
“But he’s disappeared,” Gauss added. “We don’t see him anymore.”
“That’s too bad,” Melinda said.
An apparition appeared on the stairs, near the lowest step. Melinda yelped. Emily gave a gasp of surprise, and the men gave startled cries.
“Melinda,” the ghostly figure said. It resolved itself as a tall, slender boy.
“You’re human!” Emily gasped. The boy’s image remained streaked with transmission lines, as if it were being beamed into the cave from far away.
“Quiet!” the boy snapped at Emily. She gasped anew. So did Melinda, and the others
“You’re my bride,” the boy told Melinda. The bikini-clad girl shrieked.
“I’m King Kleigowski,” the boy said. “From Earth, of course. My galactic fleet will arrive in a moment. Stay here as it attacks. Then, I will land, and we’ll be married,” the boy said to Melinda.
Seawater spilled down the stairs. The boy’s image vanished.
“My God!” Melinda gasped.
“She’s not marrying you!” Emily, finding her courage, told the place on the stairs where the boy’s image had been.
More seawater came down the stairs.
“We’d better go,” Zolna said. “The cave floods at high tide.”
Emily scrambled up the stairs with Melinda. The men followed. The tide was boiling about the castle. In the clear sky above, thunder sounded. Then sirens began to wail in the distance. Kevin Kleigowski, who had been terrorizing the galaxy’s far side for some time, was now attacking Planet Quigley!
Melinda and Emily ran with the men from the beach. They headed back to Regoob. All about them, the beach community was coming alive to the danger that thundered above. A battle was underway in the sky.
Melinda and Emily ran up the gangplank into Regoob. As the crew came in after them, a seagull flew into the ship. Emily reclaimed her place in the pilot’s seat.
Regoob took off. Other spaceships were beginning to rise from the land too. Suddenly, a transmission forced itself onto a television screen on Regoob’s dashboard. A man in a military uniform issued a warning. His insignia showed that he was a Quiglian general.
“Attention all civilians!” the general warned. “We’re under attack! Do not leave Planet Quigley! All civilian spaceships are grounded!”
“We’d better land,” Hofsted said.
“Ignore that!” Chirpley shouted.
“But—“ Melinda gasped. Emily flew stolidly higher.
“We’re soldiers!” Chirpley said.
“We’re volunteer lifeguards,” Zolna said.
“Good enough!” Chirpley retorted.
The saucer was now climbing at an eye-popping speed. It cleared the clouds, and the sunlit sky. The starry cosmos opened before it. The ship sped toward the nearest ship in the Quiglian fleet. The Quiglians were locked in a battle with King Kleigowski’s ships.
As Regoob closed on the big Quiglian cruiser, the general reappeared on the saucer’s dashboard T.V.
“Stop!” the general ordered.
Chirpley drew himself up to his full, diminutive height.
“Sir!” he told the general, with an irked look. “I am Chirpley Superlapee.” To Emily, Chirpley said, “Full speed ahead!” Then, for effect, he added, “Don’t shoot ‘till you see the whites of the their eyes.” Since he was sounding very important, Chirpley added, “Your money or your life!”
The saucer rushed at the cruiser. As it loomed, Emily began to think that going full speed ahead might not be a good idea.
Then she realized that they were too close to the cruiser to stop! As a collision became obvious, she leapt from the pilot’s seat.
“Duck!” Emily called to Melinda. Samuel, the seagull who’d flown into the ship, drew himself up to his full, diminutive height. He did so on the floor, where he’d settled by Melinda’s feet.
“I, Miss, am not a duck! I’m a sea-“ Samuel began.
Melinda felt a sudden tingling wash over her. She was standing somewhere else, if still beside Samuel, as the bird finished giving his species.
“-gull,” Samuel said.
They were all someplace else. That is, the girls, the men, and whatever else that had been on the saucer’s bridge, was now in a jail cell. The jail’s front wall and it’s door consisted of iron bars. A heavy white mist clung to the jail’s ceiling.
The saucer was nowhere to be seen. But there was a low hum, that is common to spaceships.
A tall boy came to the cell’s door. Melinda gasped. So did Emily, as cries came from the men.
“It’s that boy!” Melinda yelped, alarmed, to cries of alarm from her cellmates. She cringed. So did Emily, and the others.
“Call me Kevin,” the boy said. He grinned at Melinda. “You’re lucky I’m around. Your little friend ( he meant Emily ) crashed your saucer into a Quiglian cruiser.”
“I’m not marrying you!” Melinda said.
“Me neither!” Emily said.
“Me neither!” Hofsted said.
Kevin laughed.
“You’d better let me do the thinking,” he told Melinda. “My teleport ray couldn’t reach you on planet Quigley. You were too far away. So I told you to stay. And what did you do?” He grinned, and not pleasantly. “You fled, of course, directly toward me!”
As Kevin spoke, the mist coalesced. Suddenly, it was no longer a mist, but a pair of fanged, bulging-eyed ghosts!
“OOOOOO!” the ghosts howled, at Kevin. The boy ran shrieking out of the jail cell. A moment later, tingling engulfed Melinda. Everyone else in the cell was caught in the same sensation. Then, as suddenly as they’d arrived, the captives all disappeared from the jail cell.
Chapter Three - Incommodious
Melinda sat on the floor. Her head rested against a tiled wall. A sink was above it. Around her, in disorder, lay a number of little green men. Emily sat nearby. Samuel, lying near Emily, righted himself. He flew up and about in a mist that floated along the bathroom ceiling.
They’d been teleported again.
“Where are we now?!” Emily asked.
“I’m in a toilet!” Chirpley shouted, from a bathroom stall. “Help!”
The men and the girls gathered themselves. Some of the men, being teleported to the bathroom, had landed in toilet stalls. Chirpley hadn’t just wound up in a stall. He’d been planted with such force into a toilet that his bottom was stuck in the hole at its base. Toilet water surrounded his semi-submerged figure. He gazed helplessly from the commode.
“Don’t flush it!” Chirpley cried, of his toilet, as the girls and some crewmen piled into his stall. The group couldn’t help laughing. Chirpley, however, didn’t laugh. Being stuck in a toilet was not his idea of a good time,
Emily and the crew pulled Chirpley out of the toilet. He was unhurt. His body was wet in places. His diaper-like loincloth was soaked.
A woman screamed. Shouts came from the men who hadn’t crammed themselves into Chirpley’s stall.
Kevin had teleported his captives from his spaceship to a Quiglian one. Specifically, he’d teleported his captives into a ladies’ bathroom aboard the Quiglian ship.
“Eeeeek!” the woman visitor screamed. “There are men in the bathroom! In the ladies’ bathroom!” Soldiers arrived. When they learned that the men in the women’s bathroom had also crashed their saucer into the Quiglian ship, they arrested them. Chirpley and his crew were brought before General Grouchley. They were accompanied by Melinda and Emily.
General Grouchley commanded the Quiglian fleet. His flagship was called The Drut. It was this that Regoob had crashed into.
George Grouchley was big, fat and green. His uniform strained to contain him. It was he who had grounded all of Quigley’s civilian ships, and who’d ordered Regoob to stop. It was he whom Chirpley had disobeyed.
Chirpley stood to attention before General Grouchley. He did so with wet pants, from the toilet. Gathered behind Chirpley was his crew, and the girls. The volunteer lifeguard saluted the general. This did not improve George’s mood.
“I understand you were in the ladies’ bathroom,” George said to Chirpley.
“Yes, sir,” Chirpley answered. “I was stuck in a toilet.”
“Your saucer crashed into my ship!” George told Chirpley.
“Yes, Sir,” the volunteer lifeguard replied. Emily slipped partly behind Melinda, to escape the general’s eyes.
“We’ll need a new ship,” Chirpley told George. “To continue our noble fight against King Kleigowski.”
“Kleigowski’s fleet is in full retreat!” George told Chirpley. “I’m not sure what happened. One minute they were attacking, the next — they were fleeing!”
“I may know why - “ Chirpley said.
“Obviously, I’m an even better general than I knew,” George concluded. He eyed Chirpley. “Get your stinky saucer out of my ship! And stay out of the ladies’ bathroom!”
“Yes, Sir,” Chirpley replied.
Several women came screaming into the general’s presence.
“Help!” the women shouted. “Our bathroom is haunted!”
Chapter Four - The Sewer Room
Regoob had smashed through a large glass panel in the hull of The Drut, near its stern. Doing so, Regoob had plunged itself into a big cesspool. Much of the cesspool’s contents had emptied into outer space. This left the saucer at the bottom of the big cesspool, in such sludge as remained. The cesspool stank.
Repair ships had plugged the hole in The Drut’s hull. The big, open cesspool was in The Drut’s sewer room. This was a big, high-ceilinged room, with a crane. As Regoob’s crew arrived, along with the girls, the crane lifted Regoob out of the cesspool. It plopped the saucer, with a clang, onto the sewer room’s floor. A work crew gathered about the stinky craft.
Chirpley strode up to the work crew.
“I am the captain of this august ship,” he said, in a tone that he hoped sounded important. Chirpley had a high voice. But now, his voice was mouse-squeaky, for he was holding his nose. So was his whole crew, and the girls.
The work crew was wearing disposable masks. One of them regarded Chirpley, who remained in wet pants.
“You own this piece of shit?” the workman asked Chirpley. “It’s going to need a lot of cleaning.”
“We’ll wait until you’re done with it,” Chirpley said.
“You’ll clean it now,” a workman told Chirpley. “General Grouchley wants you, and your saucer, off of his ship!”
“Oh!” Chirpley said. “We must have important duties awaiting us.”
“The general just wants you to go!” a workman said.
Meanwhile, back at the ladies’ bathroom, a priest had been called. He was exorcising the bathroom of its two ghosts. Ladies waited with rising anxiety as this holy procedure proceeded.
“Hurry up!” a woman complained.
“I have to go!” another woman said.
The priest paused in his incantations. He assured the ladies that they wouldn’t have to wait long. There was no need to go elsewhere. The priest was a speedy priest. But, if he were to rush, in an unholy way, the ghosts might not be exorcised. So the priest proceeded with due reverence for the divine. And the ladies waited. With rising anxiety.
Chapter Five - The Teleport Threat
Regoob left The Drut. That ship, and its fleet, were now returning to planet Quigley. Emily was piloting Regoob. She was doing so with the purpose of learning to fly it better.
Melinda was aboard Regoob. So was everyone in Regoob’s crew. Samuel, the seagull, had again invited himself aboard. The ghosts, exorcised from the ladies’ bathroom, were aboard Regoob too.
On the saucer’s bridge, teleportation was being discussed.
“People teleport all the time on Star Trek,” Emily said. Chirpley had seen the show.
“We call it ‘Apes in Space’”, he said. Emily scowled at him.
“Who knew an ape - I mean, a human - would invent teleportation?” Gauss asked. Melinda asked what he meant.
“No one in the galaxy can teleport,” Gauss said. “Except, now, Kevin Kleigowski can.” Everyone on the bridge considered this.
“We need to stop him,” Melinda said.
“Yes!” Emily agreed. “He could attack Earth!”
Chirpley saw a chance to be important. Standing straight, though he was still short, he said,
“Men! We must go after King Kleigowski! We must climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, and go where only apes in space have gone before!”
Gauss hastened to a computer.
“I’ll see if I can find the king’s fleet,” he said.
“Maybe we should ask for help from General Grouchley,” Melinda said. Chirpley bristled.
“I’ll be in command of this mission,” he said. “Since it was my idea!”
“General Grouchley didn’t do anything to defeat the king,” Zolna said. “It was our ghosts who scared him off.”
“I found him!” Gauss said. He meant the king’s fleet. Gauss told Emily what direction to fly in. She did so. Chirpley, pleased, began to practice a victory speech.
“I came,” he intoned. “I saw - “
“And I got stuck in the toilet,” a crewman said.
Chapter Six - Neverwhere
Kevin Kleigowski was angry. The panicked retreat of his fleet had put his ships into disarray. The fault was his own. His fleet was crewed by robots. Their purpose was to obey.
Kevin stood on the bridge of his flagship, Teliot. He spoke with his robot admiral, Dolt 0001.
“Take the fleet through a hypergate,” Kevin ordered his admiral. “We’ll reorganize ourselves on its far side.”
“Yes, Sir,” Admiral Dolt answered. Kevin’s fleet was soon flying toward a distant gas giant. There, it would pass through the planet’s hypergate.
Unknown to Kevin, a little saucer, flown by a seven-year-old girl, was hot on his trail.
Kevin’s fleet neared the gas giant. As Regoob closed on the fleet, Gauss told Emily,
“Hurry! They might go anywhere in hyperspace!”
Regoob snaked among the disordered vessels.
“Land on Teliot,” Gauss told Emily. “That’s the king’s flagship.”
Teliot was a big cruiser. Emily zipped above it. She put the small saucer down amid the outbuildings that topped Teliot’s hull.
The cruiser, and its accompanying fleet, passed into the gas giant’s hypergate.
Emily yawned. She was in a flying saucer in hyperspace, atop a galactic cruiser, but she was also a sleepy seven-year-old. Melinda shared her sense of exhaustion. She said so.
“And I need a bath,” Melinda said.
“I don’t need a bath!” Emily said.
“Emily Fortley, we will both take a bath!” Melinda said. The little green men escorted the girls to a bathroom. The area included a laundry room. When the girls were bathing, they found that they weren’t alone.
“Hey! Quit looking!” Emily said, spying the ghosts in their bathroom.
“Shoo!” Melinda scolded.
The ghosts, sniggering, slipped away.
Melinda and Emily bedded down in a bedroom aboard Regoob.
“Good night, Emily,” Melinda said.
“Good night, Melinda,” Emily said. Neither girl could guess what the hour was back on earth. Then both got a rude reminder of where they were. Fartley trumpeted a loud goodnight in the near distance. The girls escaped the ensuing smell by falling asleep.
As for the little green men, they were concluding their day. They soon bedded down in the room with the sleeping girls. The saucer, atop Teliot, was still passing through hyperspace.
“I don’t know where the king is going, but he’s going a long way,” Gauss said.
“He could be going in circles,” a crewman said. “To throw off pursuers.”
“We’ll board Teliot tomorrow,” Zolna said.
“We can’t do that until we’re out of hyperspace,” Gauss said.
“When we are, I’ll lead the way,” Chirpley said. “Hofsted?”
“Yes, Sir?”
“Bring a trumpet. I’ll need you to blow it.”
“Sir?” Hofsted asked.
“Huh?” Zolna asked.
“It will be a great heroic deed to capture King Kleigowski,” Chirpley said. “When we charge him, Hofsted can blow the trumpet.”
“What about all of his robots?” a crewman asked.
“We’ll charge them too,” Chirpley said. “Zolna!”
“Yes?”
“You bring a trumpet too.”
“Maybe we should just bring Fartley along,” someone said.
“Yes!” Chirpley said. “We’ll have loud farts, and loud trumpeting, and then I’ll say ‘Charge!’. Very loudly.”
“After we leave hyperspace,” Gauss said.
With this, the little green men went to sleep.
“Melinda.”
The 10-year-old sat upright. She’d gone to bed wrapped in a dry bath towel, but now she was in her bikini again.
She wasn’t aboard Regoob. She sat in a field of pale mushrooms. These grew suddenly taller, on long stalks. They became a forest of mushrooms. The mushrooms shaded Melinda from the high sun. Through sprouted undergrowth, a path trailed off into the tall mushrooms.
Then an old man appeared. Using a gnarled branch for a cane, he followed the path. He saw Melinda and spoke.
“Melinda.” He said this at a distance. However, Melinda heard it as if he were beside her. She even smelled his breath. It had an odor of onions.
Melinda stood.
Suddenly, the man was before her. His stooped figure was tall and commanding.
“I want you,” he rasped to Melinda.
The blonde frowned. At least, she told herself, she was face-to-face with the person they’d been pursuing. She did not call him king.
“Kevin. You look awful,” Melinda said.
The man scowled.
“I’m done with Kevin,” he said. “Kevin’s attack on Planet Quigley failed. I don’t like failure.”
The man smiled at Melinda.
“Kevin bores me,” he said. “You don’t.” The man took Melinda’s arm. She found herself walking with him, despite not wanting to.
“We’ll rule the universe,” the man told her.
Due to Reddit’s character limit, I can only post part of my book here.
A free copy of “Melinda and the Little Green Men” is at:
http://andrewroller.com
Copyright 2023 by Andrew L. Roller. Melinda and the Little Green Men is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.

there was a post in a rod snark subreddit recently about how a queen sized bed seems small for jill and david and the casual fatphobia really bothered me. i am far from a small person and i share a tiny twin sized bed with my fiance - we make it work fine, and i think if we can fit on the twin then jill and david wouldn't have any problems with a queen lol. it seems like a good 70% of the time, people don't snark on things they do that actually harms them or their children or society at large - they snark on their appearances, weight, financial situation, etc.
it's really astonishing how most people will agree that making fun of someone for circumstances that cannot be immediately changed (facial features, weight, financial situation, etc) is punching down, but the instant it's someone you don't like that's under scrutiny, it's suddenly okay. david will never see the people online who call him shrek, who point out how big he is compared to his children and how his family can't afford big bombastic weddings, etc, but fellow lurkers who are bigger, who aren't conventionally attractive, who are in a lower income bracket, etc will see that and may very well feel self conscious about it.
i've been thinking about dropping out of fundie snark subreddits and just following the families i like to observe on instagram myself because i've been noticing fatphobia and classism more and it's really just starting to make me feel bad about myself lol

Hello everyone, Have some items up for trade
All the buyouts for the selected items are just because of the rules.
I am open to discussing trades on Steam or Discord: Ab1r#1680 , feel free to add me there to discuss.
Some of the tradeable items are listed as follows:
TradeLink: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=201510509&token=5HbDjuiH
Item Condition Float B/O
★ Hand Wraps Overprint FT 0.37 264$
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened MW 0.12 220$
★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth FN 0.02 223$
★ Stiletto Knife Urban Masked FT 0.22 222$
★ Shadow Daggers Lore FT 0.17 195$
★ Gut Knife Lore FT 0.27 190$
★ Gut Knife Vanilla 189$
★ Nomad Knife Boreal Forest FT 0.19 186$
★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest BS 0.67 185$
★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel FT 0.37 177$
★ Navaja Knife Tiger Tooth FN 0.01 175$
★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! BS 0.52 172$
★ Survival Knife Night Stripe MW 0.13 170$
★ Gut Knife Freehand FN 0.06 140$
★ Falchion Knife Freehand BS 0.45 140$
★ Moto Gloves Cool Mint BS 0.75 136$
★ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet FT 0.21 130$
★ Ursus Knife Urban Masked BS 0.71 126$
★ Survival Knife Scorched MW 0.14 125$
★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red FT 0.22 95$
★ Moto Gloves Smoke Out BS 0.66 85$
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh BS 0.48 66$
★ Hand Wraps Duct Tape BS 0.65 65$
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT 0.30 63$
★ Hydra Gloves Mangrove FT 0.37 52$
AWP Wildfire FN 0.06 163$
Desert Eagle Printstream MW 0.09 67$
USP-S Printstream FT 0.36 59$
USP-S Orion MW 0.09 55$
AK-47 Asiimov MW 0.12 53$
Sir Bloody Miami Darryl The Professionals 53$
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN 0.04 48$
ST USP-S Neo-Noir FT 0.22 47$
M4A4 The Emperor MW 0.09 46$
AWP Neo-Noir FN 0.01 45$
Five-SeveN Hyper Beast MW 0.12 38$
AWP Man-o'-war MW 0.12 42$
Sir Bloody Darryl Royale The Professionals 21$
AK-47 Redline FT 0.27 19$
Glock-18 Bullet Queen MW 0.13 17$
ST SSG 08 Bloodshot FT 0.23 15$
P250 See Ya Later FN 0.06 11$
& more
Some prices might be outdated.
Note: I have new items coming and going daily and everything is not included in this list but everything is up for trade just send an offer!
TradeLink: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=201510509&token=5HbDjuiH

Hey everybody,
I'd love some thoughts on what I just went through as I feel I have been through an emotional rollercoaster and need to unload a bit to help with my healing and get some clarity.
Around this time last year I (33m) got a random message on Tinder from a woman (38f). We met for walk, talked about our situations and what we wanted and our goals. She told me she had 3 kids and was divorced from a 12 year marriage due to her ex-husband cheating on her, how she worked full-time and taught fitness classes 3x a week to boot. I knew she was a busy gal and had obvious baggage as her ex-husband was still the picture sharing custody of the kids... but hey it takes two to tango and we were both interested in a relationship. We went on a few dates and things just escalated like crazy. We had lots in common and I have never had chemistry like this before. It was not too long until she wanted to be exclusive and I accepted.
Then around 6 months into the relationship her family was going through some issues. She said she was going some emotions, too busy and that she needed some space. Deep down I was very hurt but I followed coach Corey Waynes relationship advice, that the person you love should always feel free to leave, and I didn't make this about me. I wanted the best for her and respected her choice. I invited her over to pickup her things and that day she burst into tears, I stood strong unperturbed and listened to her and got her to open up and we ended up having a powerful emotional connection. I told her she had to get her things together and that I was fine, no sweat.
After about a week of no contact she called me and regretted her decision. And from that point on, for the next 3 months, I had the most intense and passionate relationship I have ever had. She rocked my world and had a very high level of attraction to me. I have never had a woman this into me before. It was unreal. We were making love nearly 3 times a day despite her schedule. I was apparently an excellent boyfriend and were exceeding each others wants and needs.
Then she started spitting out the I love you's left and right. I held back as long as I could but eventually I expressed it too, I fell in love with her after-all. Attraction is funny thing sometimes. She pretty much started getting distant after that .. even though I know for sure I was not clingy or over pursuing. It's frustrating sometimes in that it always feels like women are too into me when I am not into them, and when I am into them they check out. Is it always going to be like this? It makes me never want to tell a woman I love her ever again. So annoying.
Then she said her mom was going to visit from South America for a few months and that she needed to come by and grab the spare key I had. I knew it was coming at that point so I packed her things. I could start to see a pattern, maybe her family guilts or stresses her about her divorce, at least, that was my perception. Sure enough she showed up and told me once again she needed to break-up. I made the mistake of letting her come over while I had my kid, and so we weren't able to have a conversation this time...but she told me she had an emotional intimate moment with her ex-husband and although I respected her choice she could tell I was devastated this time as tears filled the back of my eyes. To me this was no different than cheating. She said she knew it was selfish, she was not going to change her mind this time and that she was very sorry for all the pain. So she took her things, I walked her to her car and I gave her a weak ass kiss goodbye. Not sure why I did that but oh well..
Anyways I really cared about her. I knew she was struggling with her lifestyle, constantly exhausted and she had no time for herself. I tried to be supportive of her. I knew she was on anti-depressants and taking therapy from the moment we first met too. I tried to help her and I expressed that she had to work on herself and in the end I am cool with space even though deep down I was hurt. I tried to not let her see that part and stay strong. Not sure if that was right or wrong but in my experience the minute you cry in front of a woman for some reason they lose respect for you. It is so stupid sometimes how it's like men are emasculated if they express their feelings.
Maybe she was trying to break-up because she needed drama to rekindle the fire, and maybe I was too nice. Part of me thinks I did something and turned her off of me, but she never said I did and I just don't have time or energy to play games or be Mr.detective. Maybe she wanted me to call her out on getting jerked around, like I had done before. In either case I am just not an angry person and have too much going on in my life to be resentful or bitter. I am way too patient too. She wanted space, no problem, you got it. I gave everything I could in the relationship and have no regrets. It's just funny how things got so intense and passionate and then down to nothing. I would definitely rather have a less intense relationship, but more stable one if that makes sense....but my god I loved that woman and was fine with her flaws.
Anyways she kept texting me every morning the next week after the break-up... things like have a good day, love the music you make, never give up, hope you're ok, etc..all this motivational crap. I told her by text I was more than fine, did not want to be friends and to call me if she ever wanted to get together again. She responded saying she understood and was totally cool with it, that she was not dead and that her door was always open. She seemed rather cool with all of this. She said she had no problem unfriending on social media and all of that...and I was like nah it's fine. It was hard for me to understand how she could have been so into me one day and the next not at all. It's obvious now she's no longer into me and that although she was trying to be nice to me the reality is she probably is still in love with her ex-husband. No surprise, I mean she sees him everyday...but screw it I refuse to be a third wheel in a love triangle, so despite my pain, it is all very logical what is happening as I type this now.
I was respectful, still playful and did not express any feelings of being butthurt or being needy. If anything, any pain I feel is actually just some remanence from abandonment in my childhood and has nothing to do with her at all. I did not ask to take her back or crap like that, after all she dumped me twice now lol. But I did call her one night after a few too many beers just to try and get clarity on what she was going through and to let her know I still support her wellbeing. I even went back on my word saying I was not ok with being friends, I was pretty contradictory that night and I am sure that just turned her off even more. But what can you do when you legit love that person? I even asked her if she would be ok with being friends while I dated other people and she said she was fine with that. So contradictory and just felt weak.
Anyways she kept texting me more funny and compassionate things the next day and I said screw it. In the past I have hid my feelings and it just took a toll on my own mental health, so I made a decision to sent her a final text telling her how much I love her and wish her the best, and how I hope she finds her happiness and to focus on her purpose in life, to enjoy the time with her mother while she is here and then... I blocked her everywhere. I had to. It felt like every day I would wake up trying to forget about her and move on and her texts were keeping me locked down. I just don't operate well in the grey zone. Even though part of me would love to stay friends right now I just can't. I just can't. Although I did not express it I know I'm not a doormat, I'm not a plan b option, I have a ton of love to give and I deserve better. Maybe she was expecting me to stand-up to her or get angry. I don't know. It's hard for me to get angry at someone for saying they need space when I have done the exact same thing in the past to others. Why must people be so dramatic?
So that was yesterday. I didn't think I would have to block her, but here I am, hoping I did the right thing. I am in a lot pain and have some therapy lined up. For now I focus on my goals, my kid, my passions and I know I will be ok. Not worried about meeting other women but I am just dreading the possibility of the day she texts or calls or shows up at my door...I don't know how I can muster the strength to tell her to f off when deep down I know I will love her for the rest of my life and would absolutely love to have her as a friend. I am so conflicted. Maybe one day. What would you do?
-------------
TLDR; I had to block the love of my life today because she broke up with me and was not respecting my boundary that I did not want to be friends by continuously texting me. Did I do the right thing?
Thanks for reading.

Ok so, I had just built the stepping stone trail marker near all the mosquitoes and was feeling good about myself because those were my first mosquito fights (still pretty new to this game and barely made a dent). I decided I was going to head over to the fallen Oak Branch to place that marker and started running that way. First jump scare traversing some stones, there is a Wolfie hidden in the stones near the cassette tape. Kept running and was fine since it didn't aggro. Now all I remember next is coming up on a hole and falling into it, but I was like sweet, there is some raw science. But I realize I can't get back up so I have to go down. Below me is an Orb Weaver and spiderlings. Fine, not ideal but I'll just shoot arrows. Orb Weaver traps me with web and it made it to where I fell down further after setting myself free. Fine, kill the dozen spiderlings and kill the Orb Weaver from across a mini puddle of water. I venture beyond where the Orb Weaver was and find a weird skeleton with a SCA.B and chewing gum (apparently I need a tier 2 shovel 😑). But alas, no way up from there. Soooo, I go back the way I came and start down the tunnel the spiderlings came from and BAM. I see the undeniable form of a Wolf Spider in the cave darkness. I'm officially freaking out because there is no other way out. I have a tier 2 axe, a weevil shield, almost full ladybug armor (no mask, just ant helmet), 3 bombs, and 4 bandages. Insect Gods shine down on me. I throw my 3 bombs, but of course the Wolfie was already in my face as soon as the first went off, so there's 2 wasted lol. It's pitch black because I chose shield over torch. I have no idea which way is which, I'm just following those sinister red eyes. 2 minutes later, I'm alive and that beast is dead. I'm triumphant but rightfully shook. I make my way out of the tunnel, there's some artfully decorated rock marking the entrance, but it's night time so I b-line for my closest base trail marker. This game is wicked lol

hi ! i had this book on my uk account before they took it off the store. naively i contacted support asking where the rapunzel book had gone, not realising most of the twisted tale series had been removed from the uk storefront. the staff member took the book from my library and refunded me a credit which i was super upset about (and wasn't really fair since i purchased it before they removed it.)
i found out how to make a us account and change the credit card address to US so that i could get us books, but saw they had Queen's Hope, and given id listened to the first two padme books i had to get queens hope first. stupidly, i got the mother gothel book second. now, part of your world is no longer on the us store front either. does anybody know how to find out which storefronts have this book ??? why do they keep getting taken down it's so frustrating

I’m playing my first campaign of any CK game - Byzantine Empire - with the 867 start date. Leon VI was in his late 30’s/early 40’s when a guest came to Constantinople named Margot. Margot had a couple of interesting claims mainly a claim to the entire kingdom of Italy.
Leon’s wife died years back in childbirth & I never remarried & Margot was unmarried.
My question is: if I married her, then declared war on the kingdom of Italy for her claims & won, what would’ve happened? Would we have reigned as some form of joint-monarchs with my court in Constantinople & hers in Italy? Or would I have just basically absorbed the kingdom into the Empire? Or something entirely different?
It’s a moot point by now, Leon’s long dead & his son Alexios is doing his thing but I’m just wondering how large of an opportunity I had pass me by for future reference.

What's up Knifeswap Gang!
I got a few bundles today. All priced to move. Feel free to send me offers or trades!
Timestamp
Titanium Frame Lock BUNDLE - Toor Knives Merchant 1.0 & SixLeaf SL-17
The Merchant is a carried user that has also been worked on by Toor warranty services. Comes with the box. I am the third owner of it. Original owner had it sent in to address lock and clip issues. The lockup is now excellent with no play, and the clip was locktited by them. The action is also pretty good for washers. Excellent detent, can easily thumb or Spydie flick. There is wear on the Ti scales, clip, and spine of the blade. Please see pictures and video. The jimping and thumbstuds are well done. The thick Ti scales feel great in hand. Overall the knife is still in great condition, and would make a fantastic user. The SL-17 is brand spanking new with box. This is an amazing knife with probably the best action I’ve handled. Absolutely drop shut with no shake. The flipper tab works very well and so does the Spydie flick. The thumb flick also works well, but you have to be aware of not putting pressure on the framelock. The purple anodization is done perfectly. Sexy blade shape too. Take both quality Ti framelocks for only SV - $140
OTF BUNDLE - AKC F-16 & AKC F-20
Both are brand new but no boxes. The F-16 has been modded with a Benchmade full size deep carry clip. So it is now super deep carry. Comes with the original clip. Besides that clip mod and the patina on the brass, it is in new condition. Both fire hard and are very reliable. I’ve fired both countless times and never had a misfire. If you haven’t handled an AKC OTF yet, I highly recommend it before getting a Microtech or Guardian Tactical. I’ve owned those two brands, but I prefer AKC over the more expensive competition. Two OTFs for SV - $80
Slipjoint BUNDLE - Erling Knives Small Folder, Camillus Tl-29 Electrician’s Knife, & Queen #53 Melon Tester
The Small Folder in brand new with box. It has aluminum handles and a scandi ground O1 tool steel sheepsfoot blade. A very unique slipjoint build. The blade is insanely sharp, and ready to whittle some wood. The handle is extraordinarily lightweight (only 1.1 oz), making this a very useful and carryable EDC. The vintage Tl-29 is in mint condition. Very difficult to find these in this good of condition. The blades are completely unused, and the lockup for the flat head/wire splitter is perfect. Great walk and talk too. The Queen Melon Tester was made in 1992 and is also in excellent condition. There’s some fine scratches on the steel handles and some blade rap. The blade rap is caused from the knife having a very powerful snap. It’s so strong I hesitated to close it one handed on video. So make sure your fingers are out of the way before closing this slipjoint with a gator snap. Take the Erling custom slipjoint and two amazing condition vintage slipjoints for only SV - $70
Kopis L-Via w/ Extras - Extras: Pinapplco G10 Fruit Knife, Survival Tactics Supply G10 Permanent Marker, & Creager Mercantile Pop Knife
Everything is brand new but no original box for the L-Via, so it’ll be shipped in a spare Boker Plus box I had lying around. The L-Via is the best bang for your buck Ed Calderon Elvia style fixed blade. If you’re looking for a solid piece and an upgrade from a basic hawkbill paring knife, this is it. This design passed all of Ed’s testing (unlike the Yojimbo and many others), this is a reliable tool. The G10 Fruit Knife is a one off by Pinapplco. Great NPE pikal knife. I also thought the pop knife and marker would pair well with the fixed blades. The pop knife has great friction fit. The marker is a great design with a robust G10 core and an extended tip. Take the phenomenal L-Via with some bonus extras for SV - $120

Thanks everyone for checking out my post! Let me know if you have any questions.

Apart from the national ones - three PM's in a month, the Queen's funeral, Charlie's coronation, etc. what are some things that have happened during the school year which have especially stood out, if not in fondness then in stupidity
For example, around my November Mocks, the whole year came down with an epidemic of the common cold and after one exam the invigilators had to announce that they wouldn't be handing out tissues anymore. Another one is that Year 11's were banned from printing past papers in the library, the catalyst of that rule being that I accidently overheated the printer and then the librarian had to deal with the backlog of topic papers that didn't print because of the overheating and then did when it cooled down...Mmm, that was fun.
So, what about you guys?

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822

★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616

⎯

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300

★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629

★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326

★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233

⎯

★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840

★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784

★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156

★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544

★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318

⎯

★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287

⎯

★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461

★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436

★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353

★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212

★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363

★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269

★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192

★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214

★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192

★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105

⎯

★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216

★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198

★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228

★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201

★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108

★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105

★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99

★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85

⎯

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375

⎯

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137

★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608

★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359

★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77

★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48

⎯

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733

★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292

⎯

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212

★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160

★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59

⎯

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72

⎯

AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

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Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. 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Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - 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Does anyone else feel like the game is great and you can feel your characters strength progress until level 100 wit a couple hundred corruption then just hitting a complete dead wall? Some of the affix drop rates for t6 or 7 are so so so low and LP on most uniques are just impossible to find. I havent gotten an upgrade in over a month and its not like i am full BiS i have a lot of upgrades needed on my 2 strong characters and i cant find a single thing for either of them. No LP's and no T6 fodder for the legendary if i did even have the LP needed. I farm at 800+ corruption now and do plenty of dungeons. The only way to remotely get upgrades imo is LA dungeon with spending 4mil+ gold but obviously you can only do that so often.
I strongly feel drop rates need to be looked at.

(I'm still unsure if I'm using the right flair but I've only read the first two books and I would greatly appreciate no spoilers for the remaining books!)
That is A Clash of Kings done!
Wow!
Another fantastic read! Aaaahhh! I’m loving this story! The drama! The scheming! The politics! The absolute TERROR you face at the beginning of every chapter because anything could happen and if there is one thing I’ve learned so far, good things very rarely happen in this world! And even on the rare occasion something good does happen and you feel safe and happy, BANG! Something worse happens! My stress levels increase tenfold and my short-lived happiness becomes a distant memory! Which is a very new sensation for me. Because, call me crazy, but up until now, I’ve enjoyed stories were nice things could actually happen! Do you remember that concept? Nice things happening? Yeah, the memory is growing faint for me too….
Anyway, my blood pressure is hitting all time records but other than that, I can’t wait to continue this series! I’m sure I’ll be fine...…HAHAHAHAHA……
Now, let’s get into this! The prologue!
We finally meet Stannis Baratheon and wow! George really went out of his way to make him appear as unpleasant and dry as humanly possible! But I think I’ll leave my evaluation of him until I get to Davos. Instead, much like the prologue itself, I think I’ll focus my attentions on Cressen and the pussy-shadow maker herself, Melisandre.
I’m intrigued and terrified of her in equal measures. I think she has to be one of the most dangerously mysterious characters in this book because both her actions and motivations remain largely unknown to the reader, of course, you could say the same for Varys and Littlefinger, but, idk about you, but I find an all powerful zealot much more menacing!
Being a religious fanatic, I knew she wasn’t going to bring anything remotely positive to the picture, so I completely sympathised with Cressen and believed, (and continue to believe) he was justified in his concerns but this is ASOIAF, I knew things weren’t going to run smoothly but it’s incredibly unfortunate the poor man had to lose his life to try to protect the man he raised.
I remember being so disgusted with Stannis in his treatment of Cressen, this man raised you and loved you when apparently nobody else did, and you couldn’t even treat him with common decency! Ooooohhhh boy was I annoyed. Especially because I was so looking forward to finally meeting Roberts formidable brother, thinking this is the Baratheon I could root for and then had such a negative introduction to him! My opinion of him has certainly improved, but my initial impression was decidedly negative. Props again to George! He has a gift for understanding and portraying how subjective a characters perception can be, leaving the reader, to a certain extent, take the information we are given with a pinch of salt.
We also get a glimpse of Dragonstone! I must say, I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so, grim. Of course, the occupants are definitely a factor, looking at you Selyse, but the castle and island itself, it does not sound pleasant. It got me thinking about what Daenerys would think of it? I don’t really see this blending well with the beautiful, flowery aesthetic she is dreaming of. But then again, it’s built on a volcano, being the blood of the dragon and her fondness for heat, this could be the Valyrian equivalent of a cosy little cottage for her, who knows?
Also, that jester, Patchface creeps me the hell out! Why would you allow this crazy person near your child, Stannis??? Didn’t Cressen say he was the sole survivor of the wreck? So they really have no idea who this crazy person was? Yeah, that’s comforting…..
Now, lets get to the characters! Like before, I think I’ll just go in no particular order:
CATELYN: Remember when I said I had high hopes for this motheson team? Yeah, now I am extremely worried about this motheson team! I’m optimistic they will triumph in the long term but, presently, I’m certain more hurdles are going to be thrust in their direction! But, at the same time, what else could possibly go wrong for them at this point? Granted, Robb has won every battle, but everything outside of the battlefield has gone completely pear shaped! It’s extremely unfortunate that they’re doing everything right but that circumstance is getting in the way of their success!
It frustrated me in AGOT and continues to frustrate me in this book, that the Lannisters seem to have an unlimited supply of luck! Seriously! How tf are they succeeding??? Aaaahhhhh! Don’t get me wrong, I love Tyrion, and I continue to root for him, but the rest of this family needs to be taken out, immediately! Uuuuuggghhhh! I’m praying their rapid rise will soon come crashing down! We saw with Daenerys, George likes to strip his characters of everything before building them back up and I believe this is what he is doing with the Starks!
In the case of the Starks, however, it’s believing they’ve lost everything, in regards to Bran and Rickon, at least. But poor Catelyn! Discovering your children have been killed is horrendous enough, but believing their heads have been mounted on your castle walls? I just can’t even comprehend the levels of emotions she must be feeling!
I must say, I was not expecting the way Catelyns storyline played out in this book but I enjoyed it nonetheless! I thought she would become more of a leading figure in Robbs court but she seems to have taken a back seat and I’m very uncomfortable with that. I truly believe Robb will become a great ruler but age is not on his side. He needs the guidance and counsel only a parent can give their child, not that of a subject to their sovereign. There are things a ruler needs to be told that their followers wouldn’t be as forthcoming with as I believe Catelyn would be! Of course, I can understand, from Robbs perspective, asserting his leadership is challenge enough, given his young age, without his mother by his side, so I can understand his reluctance to have Catelyn close to him, but still, it frustrates me!
That reminds me, don’t ask me how, but I forgot to talk about Robb in my first post, it goes without saying, I love him and am rooting for him! But what I wanted to talk about was him being proclaimed King in the North! I’ll admit, it was a powerful, goosebump inducing scene but omg how tf did the Northerners and Rivermen/Riverlanders? think that was a good idea? Talk about adding fuel to the fire! But anyway, I just wanted to mention that before getting back to Catelyn.
I really admired her attempts at forming a truce between the Baratheon brothers, alas, to no avail, but still, good effort! I really don’t understand Renlys thought process though? Seriously, what sort of precedent are you setting here? Do you expect the realm to bleed after the death of every King? Each claimant fighting for their right to rule? He is/was, the embodiment of style over substance. Like Cressen mentions, it’s just a childs game to him and like a child, I don’t imagine him playing too long before growing bored and then Westeros would’ve been left with a Robert 2.0.!
I also have to talk about Brienne of Tarth! What a character! Of course she couldn’t be a badass knight, she had to be accused of murder and treason! She is a kind hearted character after all! Imagine nice things happening for her? If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry! Honestly! But at least her circumstances led her to Catelyn! I am fully on board for this partnership and I look forward to seeing where they go from here.
I should talk about where they left off. They didn’t kill Jaime. I know that because that’s what I would want them to do and since when do I get what I want in this series? But why ask for Briennes sword if not? Didn’t Brienne pick up Renlys sword when they fled the camp? Does this sword have some magical element from Renlys death or something? I’m definitely overthinking it. Most likely it was used to whack him with the handle or something haha.
TYRION: If AGOT was Neds book, ACOK certainly has to be Tyrions. What a journey we’ve had with Tyrion. Beginning as Hand of the King and ending as…..what is he now? Tywin has resumed his position as Hand, is Tyrion going to be shipped back to Casterly Rock? I can’t see that happening. Ooooohhhh, wait, maybe that’s how he could reunite with Catelyn? If he is left with nothing after everything he has done, perhaps this is the tipping point for him to finally abandon this screwed up family and join with the Starks? Perhaps turning the tide in the war? Yeah, now that I’ve written it out, it sounds too convenient for this series but I’m hoping some variation of the above isn’t beyond the realms of possibility?
I was extremely impressed with Tyrion in many ways in this book and extremely disappointed in him in others. Of course, on the politic side of events, he was in his element! Oh those chapters were a beauty to behold! Watching him outmanoeuvre Cersei and putting the little toad Joffrey (screw you) in his place! Beautiful! Puts a smile on my face even thinking about it.
Let’s start with Janos Slyntt, I think that’s how you spell it but I’m not taking the time to check because he deserves no such attention! Ha! Coy Tyrion. Very coy. Although I wish he had just gone on and killed him, rather than burdening the watch with him! But alas, I can’t have my cake and expect to eat it all, now can I? I’ll take the wins when I can!
Then the deception to lure Cerseis informant out in the open. I had no idea who it could’ve been but once it was revealed as Pycelle, I was not at all surprised! I’m guessing Tyrion already knew and used the ploy to confirm his suspicions, seeing as he went ahead with sending Myrcella to Dorne?
I really enjoyed Tyrion and Varys’…..I want to say friendship? But I think partnership would be more fitting, as I don’t think either would blink an eye at turning on each other. It truly was beautiful to read though, their interactions I mean. The dialogue! A constant duel of words, equally matched and equally prodding for weaknesses. Both walking on a continuous line of thin ice but boy did they glid through! Ah, I loved it!
I do agree with Cersei though, and I shudder at that, but Tyrion did rely heavily on Varys. In my first post I think I said Varys could be trustworthy, but now, I don’t think so. He was certainly helpful, but he is playing his own game and so far, I have no idea what that could be, but I feel like Varys is helpful because he wants to be but could very easily switch sides should he ever choose to do so. That said, he is certainly not as ruthless as he must outwardly appear. We’ve seen after all, his efforts to protect Ned, Roberts bastards, etc. So, despite public opinion, he's really quite a softy. Well, maybe not a softy, but has a certain level of humanity, which, imo, classifies as a softy in this world!
Tyrions relationship with Baelish was much more confusing for me. He knows Petyr was behind his arrest and seemingly does nothing? I understand, in uncertain times, maintaining the treasury is an essential service, but I expected more from Tyrion than, “haha, you thought you were getting Harrenhal, you’ll think twice about backstabbing me now!.” It’s even more frustrating that he actually acquired the castle regardless! Again, I must begrudgingly give props to Littlefinger for playing the game flawlessly, but man, is it annoying!
Tyrions relationship with Cersei, aside from the political intrigue, must have been one of the more intriguing aspects of his chapters. Clearly, they’re not close, at all, but there is a certain, idk, its not affection but perhaps there was a certain level of respect between them. I think I must have been as shocked as Tyrion when Cersei hugged him when they received the news of Stannis marching on Storms End. But I was just as shocked when Tyrion poisoned his sister. I legit thought he just killed Cersei for a second. Turns out it was just diarrhoea, lol.
I don’t understand why he antagonised her so much though? I don’t understand why it was necessary for him to kidnap Tommen, unless I missed something? I feel like that was just unnecessarily hostile. Then threaten her with Tommens safety, idk, I just don’t think it was necessary. I felt it would have been more beneficial for him to reassure Cersei rather than threaten her. I get that his authority was being challenged but I can’t help but think he shot himself in the foot with that. I really don’t see their relationship recovering from this. Obviously, they didn’t have much of a bond before, but I feel like, before, there was at least a small glimpse of comradery between them but with this, I think he cut all ties with her and that troubles me. Cersei doesn’t hold back when it comes to her enemies. Especially those who threaten her children!
Don’t get me wrong, I want Tyrion to abandon this family, so I know it sounds hypocritical of me to say he should be nice to his sister but that’s so long as they’re playing on the same team but I really am hoping Tyrion eventually abandons Team Lannister! I’m feeling less sure of this outcome than I did at the end of AGOT but I’m still optimistic it’s going to happen, ideally sooner rather than later!
I should also mention Shae. It’s clear she only wants his gold but for whatever reason, Tyrion has fallen in love with his own made up version of her and I don’t see this relationship ending well, for either of them…..
ARYA: There were three characters I was immensely nervous for, going into this book, Jon, Sansa and Arya. I KNEW Arya wasn’t going to reach the North but I was hoping she would at least reach Riverrun! I knew that was an optimistic belief but I wanted to dream!
On the flip side I was terrified she was going to be captured by the Lannisters. My fears came somewhat true as she was captured, fortunately the Lannisters captured Weasel rather than Arya Stark!
I swear, my heart was in my mouth going into each of her early chapters, as they were travelling up the Kingsroad, each chapter more unnerving than the last because nothing bad had happened but I KNEW that wasn’t going to last! RIP Yoren btw, you smelled sour but your heart was sweet!
Arya was really our eyes on the ground with the ongoing conflict in the Riverlands and boy was it gruesome! George really didn’t hold back with the brutality of war! Her chapters were an interesting study on the morality of the conflict. I understand that it’s the Lannisters sacking and pillaging the Riverlands, but Robb fought fire with fire and I don’t believe his actions caused any less destruction in the Westerlands. The commons suffer, regardless of how honourable the intent may be!
Despite the ordeals she went through, I’m somewhat relieved she got through it relatively unscathed. But can we please sign this girl up for some therapy sessions? Seriously! I’m really starting to worry for Aryas mental health. It is not healthy for a 9/10 year old to have a list of people they wish to kill and repeat it obsessively each night, just saying….
Also, What THE ACTUAL F is going on with Jaqen H’Aghar? What’s the significance of the coin? And wtf does “Valar Morghulis” mean? Soooo many questions! I’m conflicted. On one hand, I’m slightly disappointed Arya didn’t go off with whoever that was. Of course, I understand her wanting to return to her family but imagine returning as a badass magical face changing assassin? That would’ve been epic! But I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing Jaqen again!
Yet, on the other hand, I’m not sure that’s really what Arya needs right now, given her current thirst for vengeance. I think she’s approaching a slippery slope. Of course, I want Arya to become a badass knight, but her progressively cavalier attitude towards killing is certainly unsettling, to say the least!
Also, Arya. YOU HAD THREE LIVES IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND. THREE. WHHHHHYYYYYYY????? GEORGE. SERIOUSLY???? Granted, she’s 10 but come on Arya! Bigger picture and all! Tywin. The Mountain. Joffrey. You could have ended it all!!!!! O.M.G!!!!!
I want to scream at somebody.
Seriously.
Now that I’ve come to the end, I leave this book feeling no less anxious for her safety than I did at the end of AGOT! From the little we’ve seen of Lord Bolton, he doesn’t seem like the forgiving type and I dread to think what would happen should they get caught! So she enters the next book, on the run. Again. Arya, what are you doing to my blood pressure???
JON: I am shocked! Shocked, people! Shocked that the Watch hasn’t been completely annihilated by the dead people roaming about! Not that I don’t believe that is still a valid concern, but I’m honestly amazed they’ve gotten this far without so much as a glimpse of them! I don’t think we’ve seen them at all in this novel? That in itself came as a huge surprise!
But my god, that march sounded absolutely miserable! It would’ve been horrible putting up with the cold, but constant rain on top of that? Hell to the no! Grim. Just kill me now. I could never!
We are introduced to the charming Craster in this book. What a delight he is! Honestly, I gagged. He marries his daughters and they give him more daughters. What? Wtf is it with incest in this series? No more. Please. We have sufficient incest George. Enough!
I am baffled as to Mormonts cavalier attitude towards Craster “sacrificing” his sons, though. He’s offering them to the gods, aka the ice zombies? What do they do with the sons? Wouldn’t that be an important question to ask? Do they eat them or recruit them? Can dead babies grow? Hahaha, I’m sorry, I just got an image in my head of what Dolorous Edd would say about getting taken out by a dead baby. Ha! Sorry. I love that man with all my heart btw.
I have a feeling though that Crasters daughter, Gilly, managed to sneak away and followed the Nights Watch, I feel like we’ll be seeing her again, why single her out otherwise?
I’m curious what the significance of Ghosts little discovery will be. Dragonglass? Is this used against the dead? Oooooohhhhh. I’m so f**king stupid. Dragons. Daenerys is going to play a big role in the fight against the dead isn’t she? Well that’s embarrassing that it took me this long to realise that. Lets draw a veil over that embarrassingly late epiphany, shall we?
Anyway, dragonglass, aka obsidian, a real world property, I understand the usefulness of fire breathing dragons but I’m not sure what makes dragonglass more powerful than normal steel? Unless this obsidian was formed by dragon fire? Perhaps. I shall wait and see!
So Jon has now become a double agent. Interesting indeed. I’m nervous for him. It’ll be interesting to see how he can convince Mance and the rest of the wildlings of his loyalty. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume, as a son of Eddard Stark, forsaking his sworn word to the Nights Watch isn’t going to be an easy task for him…..
I honestly have no idea how he is going to come back from this, especially with nobody left to corroborate his story. Not to mention he was the one to kill the Halfhand. I feel like Mormont will believe him, but with this series? I can’t be too sure! I guess I’ll just have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Again. I’m leaving Jon in another stressful position!
SANSA: How tf has nobody slaughtered Joffrey yet? Seriously. This is book two and he is still King? What the actual F**K??? SCREW YOU TO THE EXTREME, YOU LITTLE TOAD! FFS, I just want him to die slowly, screaming in agony. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for?! Oh, it was a beauty to behold when the little toad cut himself on the Iron Throne, crying for his mommy in front of the entire court, HA! Loved it. Peak literature, George! Thank you!
Unsurprisingly, Sansas position remains just as, if not more, precarious, as it did at the end of AGOT, now that her betrothal has been annulled.
I’m honestly surprised the marriage didn’t go ahead tbh. Going in to this book, I was certain I was going to watch Sansa being forced to marry this little c**t and I’m a little disappointed this didn’t happen. OK. OK. Let me explain. Obviously it would’ve put Sansa in a horrific position as Joffreys wife but she would have been Queen and a decent one at that, I’d bet! Playing her cards right, she could have amassed a certain level of influence.
I know that was a highly ambitious dream, as I doubt Cersei or Tyrion would have allowed her the opportunity and it certainly didn’t take into account the level of abuse she would have been forced to endure with Joffrey, but I wanted to dream.
So now she is no longer destined to be Queen, I’m really anxious for her future in Kings Landing, and I’m really hoping Dontos will finally get his act together and GET HER TF OUT OF THIS GODFORSAKEN CITY!
Also, can I just take a moment here to vent?
Dontos? Seriously? All the knights in the city and we’re given Dontos? Don’t get me wrong, I admire him for wanting to help Sansa but come on, Dontos??? His intent may be honourable but his capabilities are….lacking. He’s more likely to get her killed than rescued and as someone who wants to see Sansa safe, this stresses me tf out!
I have to say, I was very impressed with Sansa in this book. Saving Dontos being a prime example. Deftly done, I must say. This is what I’m saying when I think she would’ve been a good Queen, soothing the brutality of the King where she could.
I don’t think I mentioned it when discussing Tyrion, but the Blackwater battle was so well written! That entire sequence of chapters were my all time favourites of the series thus far! The back and forth between the battle outside and those seeking refuge within the castle walls, it made for gripping reading! I loved it! Which is quite surprising, as I’m usually not a fan of reading battle sequences, idk, my eyes just start glazing over when I’m reading pages of “my sword hit hard, I stumbled back, I raise another arm, I get hit in the back of the head, I lunge at my opponent, etc”, idk, it just never appealed to me before and I’d usually skip through all that to reach the outcome, but I was hooked!
I’m conflicted on how I feel about the Hound leaving without Sansa. Because I know for a fact her situation isn’t going to remotely improve until she gets the hell away from the Lannisters and the sooner, the better! But I don’t trust the Hound around her. I also think he would be too conspicuous for her to make a successful escape. I have no doubt he would die to protect her, but there is only so many opponents one man could take on before ultimately falling and then Sansa would be left to face untold misery.
That being said, I’m deeply troubled that with the Hound gone, Sansa has lost a valuable, if not somewhat unstable, ally. Aaaahhhhhh! Again, my blood pressure cannot handle this stress!
Theon: Serves me right for trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt! I think I described Theon as “a dick but somewhat good intentioned”. Yeah. He’s just a dick. What an utter idiot.
I can’t even be angry with him, now, that is. I was furious with him when he captured Winterfell, but in the end, I only felt pity for him. It’s never a nice thing, to realise what you are is so far removed from what you thought you could be, but add that on top of your imminent demise, it left Theons final days full of shame and melancholy.
I do feel a certain level of empathy for him. It couldn’t have been easy, growing up not really belonging and to return to what he considered his home, only to find it just as alien and void of any affection. I can certainly see the conflict of loyalty he felt between his foster family and his true family but omfg he made the absolute worst decision ever!
The Starks raised him, taught him everything he knows, he even pledged himself to Robb but of course, his inferior complex took over, blinding him and look where it got him!
I honestly don’t understand what his plan was though? In what world did he imagine he could hold Winterfell, regardless of how many men his sister left him? Did he honestly think Robb would just bend over and allow the Ironborn to keep the North? Aaaaaahhhhh!!!! The stupidity! I just can’t fathom it! I honestly can’t!
Can I just take this opportunity to shit talk the Ironborn? Because how tf have Westeros put up with these people for so long? Do they have any redeeming qualities? As far as I can tell, they’re Westeros’ equivalent of the Dothraki. Lawless pirates who have, for some reason or other, been allowed to rape, raid and pillage to their hearts content. Yuck.
I will say though, putting the whole, allowing her brother to feel her up part aside, I quite enjoyed Asha, and not only because she knew exactly how to push Theons buttons, ha! She’s everything Theon believed himself to be, and more! If she wasn’t so loyal to her father and undermining the Starks, I think I could like her!
Something I’m confused by however, Roose Boltons bastard is Ramsey Snow, but who was Reek and why did they think Ramsey was him to begin with? I’ll have to go back and reread because I either missed or forgot the explanation, but nevertheless, I hate him. He sounds disgusting, and I don’t mean the smell. It broke my heart to find out Lady Hornwood died such a tragic death, she seemed so sweet! Omg there is so much added misery in this series, we have enough sorrow going on with the main characters George, I don’t need to cry over the minors too!
Ramsey appears to be insane but tactful and that my friends is what I call a terrifying combination! I’m honestly unsure of what his goal is? Everyone believes him to be dead, why return to Winterfell once Theon freed him and kill the besieging army, only to then betray Theon in turn? Why tf does every single character have a scheme up their sleeves? Enough!
BRAN: I’m conflicted. I’m happy to see Bran finally getting the chance to head out into the wild in search for answers but it stinks that Winterfell had to be wiped out in order for this to be achievable. I honestly can’t see a scenario where Maester Luwin, Ser Rodrick etc would have allowed Bran the opportunity had Winterfell remained strong.
So, while I detest the actions of Theon and Ramsey as it significantly damaged Robbs position and led to untold misery for the castles inhabitants, it appears as though they actually inadvertently aided Brans progression in “How to Warg 101”. That’s if they actually succeed in their mission though! I’m still confused as to what exactly they will find or how they will manage to find it but I’m certain this will be significant, not just for Bran but for the Starks in general.
We finally find out the significance of Brans wolf “dreams”! Bran is actually a warg! But apparently Jon is too? And there are suggestions so is Robb? Perhaps even Rickon? Interesting. Very interesting. And very cool too! Damn, imagine how awesome it would be to be able to possess the body of a wolf!
It's deeply upsetting to me though that Sansa and Arya apparently are left out of this beyond incredible magical family trait! I’m assuming it’s because they have lost their wolfs? Another thing I can thank the f**king Lannisters for! Aaaahhhhh!
I’m curious though, Aryas direwolf is still alive and apparently leading an army of common wolfs in the Riverlands? Which is utterly badass in and of itself but if they’re reunited, does this mean Arya could potentially control an army of wolves? Or has their connection been broken? Oh, I hope not! I refuse to believe Nymeria is out there amassing a large force of wolfs only for it to lead nowhere! Oooohhhh, wait, will they be reunited now that Arya has fled Harrenhal? Oh that would be incredible! Imagine her rocking up to Riverrun with an army of wolves at her back!
On a sad note, does that leave Sansa as the only Stark sibling without magical abilities? Boo! I hate that!
I must say, after all they’ve been through, I feel for Rickon the most. Poor baby! He just wants his family back and I have no idea how he is going to process the loss of his last remaining family member. He wasn’t handling the situation too well to begin with, but now? That child is gonna need a hell of a lot of therapy and can we please sign Shaggydog up for some anger management classes too? That wolf troubles me!
I’m very intrigued to learn more about the Reeds! As crannogmen, they appear to be somewhat disconnected from the rest of the North, with their own unique traits and customs. Seemingly more in touch with the environment around them, there are claims they are descended from the children of the forest. I have a feeling they will prove invaluable on the expedition North!
I should probably be concerned that they’re essentially a small group of children on a journey through a divided and hostile land but I’m feeling naively optimistic of their chances. I know that this has backfired on me in the past but I can’t give up hope! I refuse!
DAENERYS (DAY-EN-AIR-E-US?): I must say, the pace of Daenerys’ chapters took quite a slow turn in this book, didn’t they? Perhaps there were times I felt the story moved a little too slow for my liking but I knew going into this book, things weren’t going to fall onto her lap overnight
Although her dragons hatched, when we left Daenerys in AGOT, she was pretty much sitting at rock bottom, her husband and child dead, the vast majority of her people gone, along with all of Drogos wealth I imagine too! I knew it would take time for her to get back on her feet and that was essentially what her ACOK journey was.
We start off the book with the red comet and, although every character appears to take it as a sign of their coming, I feel like Daenerys was the obvious recipient. Heralding in the new era of dragons! They sounded adorable btw! “Who’s going to grow up to be big weapons of mass destruction? You are! Yes you are! Yes you are!!!” Cute but they’re gonna do some damage! I can’t wait to see Joffreys face when he gets burned to a crisp! Hehe, I can’t wait!
I’m surprised by the names she chose for them though. Drogon makes sense, he was her moon and stars after all, but I’m surprised she named the other two after her brothers, both of which don’t really have the greatest of reputations?
Sent by the comet, Daenerys spent most of her time in Qarth seeking out its leaders to fund her conquest of Westeros, frustratingly, to no avail. Even more frustratingly is that she had to sell all of her newly acquired wealth to fund her ultimately worthless bribes.
The only thing of note was her trip to the House of the Undying and it instantly humbled me of any belief that I was in any way wise because there is no way in hell I would’ve made it out of that maze alive!
I’m assuming these were hallucinations brought on by whatever it was she drank but obviously with some element of magic?
There were a lot of visions but the two that stood out to me were:
The wolf head with the Iron crown is obviously Robb. The feast with corpses, I’m guessing this is depicting the savagery of the war? Perhaps it signifies the walking dead? From my earlier embarrassingly late realisation, I’m guessing this references the need for Daenerys’ help against the dead?
Secondly, what Daenerys made out to be her brother Rhaegar with his wife and newborn son, “his is the song of ice and fire”, “there must be one more……the dragon has three heads”, Daenerys has three dragons, I’m assuming Rhaegar believed his son to be “the Prince that was promised”, but I’m guessing instead it’s Daenerys? My brain hurts trying to process this! In reality, I have absolutely no idea what the hell was going on but those are the only takes I could come up with! Like Daenerys, this sequence has left me with far more questions than answers!
My blood pressure is not having a good time with all of this, which is not helped with the knowledge that Daenerys has made a powerful enemy with regards to the warlocks! Especially now that their powers are getting stronger! That’s just perfect!
I’m glad to see her leaving Qarth, the further away the better, I say! But I’m honestly surprised Illyrio found her so quickly! Hopefully once she reaches Pentos she can gather forces and enhance her position while waiting for her dragons to grow bigger and stronger! Thinking about it, I’m pretty sure Daenerys is the only character leaving this book on a high lol!
DAVOS We have new players entering the game ladies and gents! I really liked Davos and I’m hoping we haven’t seen the last of him? I don’t think we have but I’m not sure how the man could possibly survive!
I really felt for him! To watch the man you serve fall into the arms (figuratively or perhaps literally) of a religious fanatic! I mean, come on George, zealots are bad enough without giving them magical powers!
Davos himself is an interesting character. He appears to be a decent, kind hearted man which took me a while to get used to as we’ve met so few of them in this series so far! Turning from a smuggler to a knight and right hand man to Stannis Baratheon, he is in quite a unique position within Westeros, as well as Stannis’ Court. I can’t imagine many commoners are given such a meteoric rise in fortunes! Stannis himself sees his true worth but he must endure the snobbery of his Lords bannermen, God forbid they had to listen to wisdom from a commoner! Gasp! The horror!
We got a glimpse of his backstory, apparently he smuggled onions into Storms End during Roberts Rebellion, making all the difference to the besieged, but it’s unclear as to how he was put in that position to begin with? I imagine he had some sort of relationship with Stannis beforehand in order for him to take such a risk? Especially when he allowed Stannis to mutilate him in return for his service? I get he was granted a keep and lands and everything, but my god, no wonder nobody ran to fight for Stannis!
Let’s actually talk about Stannis. I’m not sure how I feel about him. There are instances, mainly his interactions with Davos and his relationship with Devan, that I really like him and I can certainly see why a man like Davos supports him, but then there are aspects of his personality that I find grating. The grinding teeth habit aside, I just can’t get past the sulkiness. I swear, he remembers every single slight given it him since he was born and refuses to forgot or forgive! Perhaps I could overlook this aspect of his personality, had he not aligned himself with such a fanatic. I mean, from as far as I can tell, he has more or less sold his soul to the devil.
I can’t help but make the comparison here to Macbeth. They share many similarities and I can very well see them sharing the same fate because there is no way in hell Stannis is this "Azor Ahai”! I mean, it was a cool little trick and sounds like an amazing sword but that whole spectacle of retrieving it from the flames was an absolute farce!
Besides, Stannis has already been defeated. Alive, but backed into a corner! I don’t see him giving up, though! That man will fight until the bitter end! I admire him for that but allowing himself to so overtly ingratiate himself with this religious cult, I can’t say I’ll be sad to see him lose, which I believe, ultimately, he will, but with Melisandre by his side, I can see him causing a lot of damage before he falls. So long as that damage is contained solely towards the Lannisters though, I’ll be satisfied.
I will say, his assault on Kings Landing made for an unsettling array of emotions. Who tf was I supposed to root for??? Its no secret that I want Joffrey and Cersei to die, ideally painfully, but I was rooting for Tyrion to succeed!
At the same time, I really like Davos and I wouldn’t have an issue with Stannis as ruler but for Melisandre! In the end I gave up on choosing a side and just prayed my favourite characters survived!
I’m curious to see, should he survive, where Davos’ story goes from here. I have a feeling he has become a Lannister prisoner!
As for Stannis? “Double, double, toil and trouble.”

Spoilers for the most recent episode of the anime!
I made a comment on how Muichiro is actually Yuichiro for reasons I’ll mention below and I’ve already been bombarded with messages saying yuichiro is dead and it’s really muichiro. But all the evidence points against this, so I have to assume to there’s some bigger reveal ahead or there’s just gaslighting lol
-Present day Hashira Muichiro has the same haircut as kid Yuichiro
-Yuichioro is the one giving a monologue about muichiro at the end of the episode
-Given their personalities, it makes sense Yuichiro would rage against the demon and Muichiro would die trying to save his brother
-yuchiro would honor his brother by taking on the Mu in muchiro as regret for teasing his name maybe?

I've been looking at a Tonal for a few years now, and am getting ready to pull the trigger. Even wifey is on board, I think mostly to shut me up. I know this is not exactly an unbiased space, but would like feedback on whether this makes sense.
Previously I had tried the Convict Conditioning program, but flopped out of it when I had issues figuring out and getting the right equipment. What I really liked about that program was that it was, effectively, brain-dead and required no thought. Here's what you do, when, and when you hit the next step, it's obvious and here's what you do then.
When I've previously (years ago) tried lifting, I mostly had an issue with lifting too much, and hurting myself, causing myself to bounce out.
I don't really want "interesting". I'm okay with things being a chore. What I want is a thing where I can go, do the work, not have to think about when/how to adjust, and go on. At least to start, who knows where I'll be in a year or two.
I'm a big fan of getting moderate results from moderate effort. I'm not going to be a Mr. Universe contestant. But "better" is "better", even if it's not as good as a more extreme program. Something that's sustainable wins, 100% of the time, for me.
I don't want to have to worry about getting more equipment for a while. While it seems people can bypass the Tonal for squats/deadlifts, I figure this will be far enough in the future that I can deal with it then, or switch to more isolated exercises at least for a time.
I'm more concerned with functional strength than I am with size. I figure size/shape is a good byproduct, but I want to be more fit and healthy more than I want to change my looks. So, probably focusing on compound exercises is the way to go, from what I can tell.
I'm 50, and overweight. I've never been very strong, so I'll be on the low curve, and that's fine. But I want something that can fit into my life to make it easy to do this stuff - 3/4 times a week, maybe 30ish minutes per session. I ain't going to the gym, I know that about myself. I want to make a change, I've tried to do so before, and I've identified the biggest roadblocks - knowing what to do, and needing equipment when it's not obvious what I should get. The Tonal appeals to me because, at least in theory, it will resolve these issues for at least the mid-term (probably several years).
Probably the other serious contender is the Bowflex Extreme, since, hey, it's a lot cheaper and seems to be at least as complete as the Tonal (plus offering an option for higher resistance in the future). Oxefit just looks way too freakin' big. That Katalyst thing looks interesting too, but I'm not fully sold on it.
Something my 10yo could do with me would be awesome too, but isn't a top priority.
So. Does Tonal fit what I'm looking for?

Just to set expectations, this isn't something that's going to break the meta - you're not going to be bringing these exotics into GMs or master raids. This is more for low to medium difficulty content, Stuff like legend campaigns, Nightfalls, and the seasonal activity.
The basic gist is that Lucent Blade was changed with Mods 2.0 to give more shield energy on glaive hits. Two copies of Lucent Blade changes the break point for your alternate fire, letting you get the charged shot in 3 hits instead of the base 4.
This is important because landing a direct hit with the charged shot (instead of letting it track on the ground) will count towards the shield charge for your next shot - you only need two shots to get the powershot back as long as you make sure to land direct hits. These two factors essentially turns it into a close range hybrid between a glaive, Trinity Ghoul, and the Cloudstrike, where every third shot is massively boosted in terms of damage and AoE. Combined with the fact that it fires at 80 rpm, over the 55 rpm of an adaptive frame, and carries a base reserves of 33, over the 26 of adaptive frame, you can spam out charge shots for some pretty good burst DPS. It's nothing to write home about, but it's enough to wipe out champions and yellow bars is most content in the game.
Triton Vice isn't necessary for the core functionality of this weapon: all you really need is the lucent blades, and maybe some reserve and scavenger mods, but Triton Vice boosts the sustained DPS of the glaive quite a bit. You can overflow the glaive, assuming you maxed out the magazine with either extended or appended mag, to 14 rounds. This lets you get 4 charged shots in a single magazine, or 5 if you start with one already loaded. The explosions on kills is just nice to have, and it turns your charge shot into a proper, on demand pocket nuke.
Considering Edge of Concurrence before Lightfall was easily one of the worst exotics in the game, what it can do this season with Mods 2.0 and the new exotic is pretty impressive. The combination of decent DPS, high-damage add clear, an on-hit instead of an on-kill effect, and the fact that it doesn't rely on precision damage makes it surprisingly versatile. If you like glaives, I would highly recommend trying it out, or revisiting any of the old witch queen glaives with Lucent Blade. Cheers!
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https://reddit.com/link/13u9iro/video/n12qbwwemm2b1/player

I always though that Lady StoneHeart only goal was revenge.
But there is this sentence that confuses me :
​

"She wants her son alive, or the men who killed him dead," said the big man. "She wants to feed the crows, like they did at the Red Wedding. Freys and Boltons, aye. We'll give her those, as many as she likes. All she asks from you is Jaime Lannister."

AFFC, Brienne VIII
It just sticks to me. Does she plan to find back Rob's body and bring him back to life like her?
I have never considered this an option before. But it doesn't sound silly to at least try

My gpu is dead it seems. It went black screen while updating graphics card driver (GeForce rtx 4070ti). After a while of waiting I restarted the computer, now it freezes on the TUF gaming logo on startup. I can hear a windows pop up on the background, but I can’t see it. Mouse and keyboard are turning on as normal. I’m at a loss, I’ve had this pc for less than a week, and it’s my first one.

Unforgiven 2005 (Raw)
Date: 18/9/05
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
The Hurricane & Rosey (c) vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Women’s Championship:
Trish Stratus (c) vs Torrie Wilson
Steel Cage Match:
Matt Hardy vs Edge w/Lita
(Edge and Lita laugh and gloat about what Edge done to Matt Hardy at SummerSlam. Lita says that Matt will never be as good a wrestler as his brother Jeff or as good in bed as Edge. Hardy goes crazy, brawls with Edge and demands another match at Unforgiven against Edge which Eric Bischoff grants him. Bischoff tells Hardy they’ll be fighting inside a Steel Cage! Matt Hardy wins clean in a brutal and bloody encounter after delivering a Leg Drop from the top of the cage.)
Intercontinental Championship:
Carlito (c) vs Shelton Benjamin
Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle
(The SummerSlam rematch which is basically the match that happened at Vengeance in real life. Shawn Michaels challenges Kurt Angle to a rematch which Angle tries to say no but Michaels Sweet Chin Music’s an answer out of him. Angle says that he proved at SummerSlam he’s better than Michaels in every way and if beating him again is the way to end this, that’s fine by him. Shawn Michaels wins clean after a second Sweet Chin Music. Kurt Angle wins a 30 minute iron man match on Raw to close out the feud.)
The Big Show vs Snitsky
WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Kane
(Kane returns after SummerSlam and wins a #1 Contender’s Match against The Big Show to earn this opportunity. Kane says it’s been 7 years since he’s been the WWE Champion, it’s been too long and promises to beat John Cena at Unforgiven. Cena says he’s never faced a challenge like Kane but he’s willing to show he’s a fighting champion and Kane doesn’t intimidate him like he would’ve in 1998. Cena’s on the back foot a lot but finds a way to retain.)
No Mercy 2005 (SmackDown)
Date: 9/10/05
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Orlando Jordan vs JBL
(After SummerSlam, Orlando Jordan turns face and attacks JBL. Orlando says he’s tired of being treated like crap off Bradshaw and wants to punch his teeth down his throat. JBL says Jordan has shown he’s nothing but an ungrateful little brat who he’ll gladly beat up for turning on the man who gave him a chance. JBL wins clean.)
WWE Tag Team Championship:
MNM (c) w/Melina vs Super Crazy & Psicosis
Hardcore Holly vs Mr.Kennedy
United States Championship:
Chris Benoit (c) vs Booker T w/Sharmell
Booker T wins the championship in his hometown after delivering a low blow to Benoit when the referee is distracted by Sharmell, turning heel in the process)
Bobby Lashley vs Simon Dean
(Lashley wins easily here on his debut.)
Casket Match:
The Undertaker vs Randy & “Cowboy” Bob Orton
(After SummerSlam, a pissed off Undertaker promises there will be revenge and he’ll show the Orton’s No Mercy! Theodore Long tells Randy and Bob Orton that they’ll compete against The Undertaker at No Mercy and it’ll be a Casket Match! The Undertaker plays mind games for weeks, with mannequins of the Orton’s inside a casket which freaks them out. We get the same match and finish as in real life, the Orton’s win by putting Taker in the casket and set the thing on fire to write The Undertaker off TV which Randy and Bob think they’ve finally got rid of him for good.)
World Heavyweight Championship:
Batista (c) vs Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
(After No Mercy, Teddy Long announces that Rey Mysterio is the new #1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. Eddie Guerrero interrupts and says that Rey doesn’t deserve to face Batista and demands to be added to the match. Teddy says no but Vince McMahon comes out and announces that Eddie Guerrero will be in the match too, much too Latino Heat’s delight. In the build up, Eddie builds a bond with Batista which Rey tells Batista to not trust him. Batista tells Rey he won’t trust Eddie at No Mercy to not cheat and won’t trust him either because it’s every man for himself! In a very entertaining main event, Eddie Guerrero delivers a Frog Splash to Rey Mysterio and wins the World Heavyweight Championship clean. No Mercy draws to a close with Latino Heat celebrating.)
Taboo Tuesday 2005 (Raw)
Date: 1/11/05
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (c) vs Kane & Big Show
Women’s Championship:
Trish Stratus w/Mickie James vs Candice Michelle
Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship:
Shelton Benjamin (c) vs Carlito
Rey Mysterio vs Triple H (By Disqualification)
(Eric Bischoff allows the fans to choose a SmackDown wrestler for a returning Triple H to face off and destroy at Taboo Tuesday to show Theodore Long what show truly has the best stars. The fans choose Rey Mysterio which Triple H pisses himself laughing at. Little does The Game know, Rey’s better than he thought. Rey puts up a fight until Kane & Big Show come out and destroy him which causes a disqualification. Triple H then Pedigrees Rey and the message is sent to SmackDown.)
Backstage Segment:
(Ric Flair welcomes back his friend Triple H, they both shake hands and Flair says it’s good to have him back!)
WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Kurt Angle vs Shawn Michaels
(Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels both make cases to Eric Bischoff as to why they should be next in line to face John Cena. Bischoff tells them that they’ll both be getting a shot as it’s going to be a Triple Threat Match at Taboo Tuesday for the WWE Championship. Angle promises to win back his title he lost at WrestleMania, Michaels wants to show he’s still got it in him to be the WWE Champion and John Cena believes this is the best opportunity to show he’s well and truly the top dog in the company. John Cena retains after pinning Kurt Angle. After the match, Cena, Angle and Michaels are attacked by the SmackDown roster who’ve entered the building after seeing what happened to Rey Mysterio earlier in the night in retaliation. Cena receives an RKO from Randy Orton and a Batista Bomb from Batista meanwhile Shawn Michaels receives a Frog Splash from Eddie Guerrero. Taboo Tuesday draws to a close with the SmackDown roster reigning supreme.)
Notes:
(Eddie Guerrero is tragically found dead in his hotel room on November 13th, 2005. This vacates the World Heavyweight Championship and Teddy Long reveals that a tournament will take place on SmackDown with a new World Heavyweight Champion crowned at the next SmackDown exclusive PPV, Armageddon. RIP Latino Heat ❤️)
Survivor Series 2005
Date: 27/11/05
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Cruiserweight Championship:
Jamie Noble (c) vs Chavo Guerrero
(Chavo Guerrero dedicates his championship win to his uncle Eddie.)
Champion vs Champion Match:
Booker T w/Sharmell (United States Champion) vs Shelton Benjamin (Intercontinental Champion)
(Booker T cheats to win after exposing the turnbuckle after Sharmell provides a huge distraction to the referee.)
Bobby Lashley (SmackDown) vs Chris Masters Raw)
Women’s Championship:
Trish Stratus (c) w/Mickie James (Raw) vs Melina w/Johnny Nitro (SmackDown)
(Trish retains on Melina’s in-ring debut thanks to Mickie James' unwanted assistance.)
Chris Benoit (SmackDown) vs Shawn Michaels (Raw)
(Both men have unfinished business. With Shawn Michaels owning two victories over him, Chris Benoit says that’s something he hates because it makes him look like he’s not on HBK's level when deep down, he knows he actually is. Benoit who’s grieving over the loss of his best friend promises that it won’t take away his professionalism going into this match. Michaels says that he respects the hell out of Chris Benoit, would love to wrestle him again like he did twice earlier in the year and wants to put on a show that Eddie Guerrero would be proud of. Chris Benoit wins in a 30 minute classic after forcing Michaels to submit to The Crossface. After the match, both men shake hand, hug and Michaels raises Benoit’s hand in victory.)
Team SmackDown (Batista, Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, JBL & Matt Hardy) vs Team Raw (John Cena, Triple H, Kurt Angle, Kane & The Big Show)
(Brand Warfare! Vince McMahon wants to see competition and tells Eric Bischoff and Teddy Long to pair 5 of their best to face each other at Survivor Series. Vince says that whoever loses, the GM of that show will be on probation! Bischoff announces his team will be captained by the WWE Champion John Cena, who’ll be teaming with Triple H, Kurt Angle, Kane and The Big Show. Long announces his team will be captained by Eddie Guerrero who’s then replaced as captain by Batista because of his sad death, Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, JBL and Matt Hardy who wins a Battle Royal to be the last member of the team. For weeks, the Raw and SmackDown roster both invade each other’s brands, brawl and still have the iconic parking lot fight in the build up. Animosity sets between both teams with Batista and Rey despising Orton and Bradshaw while Cena has issues with Angle and Triple H has issues with The Big Show. This match is a Survivor Series classic with two men remaining. John Cena and Randy Orton. Thanks to Bob Orton, Randy capitalises, hits an RKO on Cena and pins him to win the match! The SmackDown roster comes down to celebrate with the Legend Killer until… GONG!! Out comes some druids with a casket and they raise the casket. Lightning then sets the casket on fire and out of the casket comes… The Undertaker! Orton looks utterly terrified and retreats, Taker beats the hell out of a bunch of jobbers and Survivor Series draws to a close with Taker sending Randy a message… he’s back!)
Notes:
(The trial of Eric Bischoff culminates in him being fired as the Raw GM.)
(An 8-man tournament starts on the SmackDown after Survivor Series to determine the new World Heavyweight Champion at Armageddon. Batista and JBL advance to face one another at the PPV.)
Armageddon 2005 (SmackDown)
Date: 18/12/05
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Rey Mysterio vs Mr.Kennedy
Cruiserweight Championship:
Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Jamie Noble
Champion vs Champion Match:
Kane & Big Show (World Tag Team Champions) vs MNM w/Melina (Tag Team Champions)
United States Championship:
Booker T (c) w/Sharmell vs Chris Benoit (By Disqualification)
(Chris Benoit invokes his rematch clause for the United States Championship. Benoit says that Booker T disgusts him because he thought better of him. Benoit then promises to regain his championship from someone who’s proved he’s nothing but a coward who hides behind his wife’s skirt. Booker T says that Benoit is a punk who stole what was his at SummerSlam and he rightfully took it back off him! Benoit is on the verge of winning the championship until Sharmell kicks him low and causes a disqualification to help her husband keep his title.)
Vacant World Heavyweight Championship:
Batista vs JBL
(After getting to the final, Batista promises to win back the World Heavyweight Championship just like Eddie Guerrero would want and promises to dedicate his victory to him. JBL says that Batista is living in a fantasy land and that Eddie would want a true Wrestling God in him to be the new World Heavyweight Champion! Despite trying his best with heel tactics, JBL comes up short as The Animal counters, delivers a Batista Bomb and pins him to once again become the World Heavyweight Champion.)
Hell in a Cell Match:
The Undertaker vs Randy Orton w/"Cowboy" Bob Orton
(After returning at Survivor Series, The Undertaker promises that he will have vengeance. He tells Orton they’ll have one final battle inside his playground… Hell in a Cell! Orton tries to back out of it for weeks as Taker plays mind games with lightning, possesses Josh Matthews during an interview, Randy sees him in a mirror etc. The Undertaker punishes Orton for being a thorn in his side for the majority of 2005 and beats him in a bloody encounter to close out the feud.)
Notes:
(It might be controversial to have Batista win at Armageddon when it’s obvious he’s injured and going to be out soon but I feel that giving him the title unpredictably and still not being pinned is a long term benefit for where I go with him upon return. There’s also another reason I have Batista win and you’ll see when the title is vacated again…)
(Batista gets storyline injured in a Steel Cage Match against MNM after being attacked by Mark Henry on the last SmackDown of 2005.)
(The World Heavyweight Championship is once again vacated and the new champion is determined in a Battle Royal. The winner of the Battle Royal is... Randy Orton! Yep, that’s why JBL doesn’t go over at Armageddon! The heel I’m putting the championship on is The Legend Killer 😁.)
(Triple H turns on Ric Flair and beats the holy hell out of him on the last Raw of 2005.)

Hello everyone, Have some items up for trade
All the buyouts for the selected items are just because of the rules.
I am open to discussing trades on Steam or Discord: Ab1r#1680 , feel free to add me there to discuss.
Some of the tradeable items are listed as follows:
TradeLink: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=201510509&token=5HbDjuiH
Item Condition Float B/O
★ Hand Wraps Overprint FT 0.37 264$
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened MW 0.12 220$
★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth FN 0.02 223$
★ Stiletto Knife Urban Masked FT 0.22 222$
★ Shadow Daggers Lore FT 0.17 195$
★ Gut Knife Lore FT 0.27 190$
★ Gut Knife Vanilla 189$
★ Nomad Knife Boreal Forest FT 0.19 186$
★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest BS 0.67 185$
★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel FT 0.37 177$
★ Navaja Knife Tiger Tooth FN 0.01 175$
★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! BS 0.52 172$
★ Survival Knife Night Stripe MW 0.13 170$
★ Gut Knife Freehand FN 0.06 140$
★ Falchion Knife Freehand BS 0.45 140$
★ Moto Gloves Cool Mint BS 0.75 136$
★ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet FT 0.21 130$
★ Ursus Knife Urban Masked BS 0.71 126$
★ Survival Knife Scorched MW 0.14 125$
★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red FT 0.22 95$
★ Moto Gloves Smoke Out BS 0.66 85$
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh BS 0.48 66$
★ Hand Wraps Duct Tape BS 0.65 65$
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT 0.30 63$
★ Hydra Gloves Mangrove FT 0.37 52$
AWP Wildfire FN 0.06 163$
Desert Eagle Printstream MW 0.09 67$
USP-S Printstream FT 0.36 59$
USP-S Orion MW 0.09 55$
AK-47 Asiimov MW 0.12 53$
Sir Bloody Miami Darryl The Professionals 53$
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN 0.04 48$
ST USP-S Neo-Noir FT 0.22 47$
M4A4 The Emperor MW 0.09 46$
AWP Neo-Noir FN 0.01 45$
Five-SeveN Hyper Beast MW 0.12 38$
AWP Man-o'-war MW 0.12 42$
Sir Bloody Darryl Royale The Professionals 21$
AK-47 Redline FT 0.27 19$
Glock-18 Bullet Queen MW 0.13 17$
ST SSG 08 Bloodshot FT 0.23 15$
P250 See Ya Later FN 0.06 11$
& more
Some prices might be outdated.
Note: I have new items coming and going daily and everything is not included in this list but everything is up for trade just send an offer!
TradeLink: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=201510509&token=5HbDjuiH

hey all,
​
So not 2 months ago, my ex broke things off with me after being together for 5.5 years. While she never gave me a reason as to why, she did say she was unsure about us for about a year already.
​
Fun to hear, especially since we started living together that year, per her request mainly. I used to live with my best friends (will be important later).
​
Anyway, she broke up with me, and today we got together to divide the remaining stuff while we were living together. She told me about how she wanted to keep some things as a reminder of us, and asked me if I also wanted something to remind us of.
Now, I've had this gut feeling that she was already sleeping with someone else, only 2-3 weeks after breaking up. So I told her, NAME, I feel like you've been seeing someone else already, and in that case, I want nothing to remember you of.
​
At that point, she admitted to already having had sex, at which point, we got into a but of a fight. She treated me like crap for a very long time, and basically discarded me like garbage at the end of the relationship. We also didn't have that much sex when we were together, something I've brought up multiple times, but she just chalked it down to not being that interested in it anymore.
​
So now I hear from here that only a couple of weeks later, she can't keep her legs closed anymore. We had a heated argument where I finally told her how I felt about her treating me this way.
​
As I was leaving, she told me that she was unhappy that we leave it on a fight and that she wanted to give me a hug and wish me well. I told her she should have thought about that beforehand and that she's dead to me now.
​
But the worst part is that I texted my friends as I needed a little support and someplace to rant about all of this. And I then find out she went to them in person and they're now all defending her. Telling em I shouldnt be angry about it.
​
Am I weird for being angry that, after 5.5 years, she's in bed with another in just a few weeks? To me, it shows how much I really meant to her. She's showing her true colors. Did the same to her previous ex.
​
Also, those are the same best friends that I used to live with. They told me they're not going to pick between us, even though I've known these guys for over 20 years. I feel so fucking alone.