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The Circular Logic of Space Exploration
2023.06.07 01:26 normancrane The Circular Logic of Space Exploration
 | Appleton rushed to scratch the message onto the back cover of a magazine lying face-down on a table near the telephone. Scratch—because the pen didn’t want to cooperate; the ballpoint stuck. Appleton’s fingers shook. submitted by normancrane to normancrane [link] [comments] It was a prank, surely. The conversation had been recorded. He would end up on a website somewhere, the anonymous out-of-touch butt of some teenager’s joke. Yet there was something in the quality of that voice, a voice that didn’t belong to any teenager, that forced the shapes of the letters through his wrist, onto the paper. Even as he felt the fool, he also felt the chronicler. The words could be historic. The words: after a plain “hello” the voice had excused itself and muttered something about a wrong number and galactic interference. Then it had said, exactly, “No matter, you will have to do. My name is Charles R—and I am calling from Mars. First, record the date and time of this communication. Second, please bring it to the attention of one Mrs Mary Clare of 34 Wentworth St, Nottingham. Pass along also that I am doing fine and that, though food is scarce, I have had my fill, and that water is plenty once one digs past the red surface of things.” That was all. Then the phone went dead. The connection had not been good to begin with, but there was no doubt about any of it. Nothing had been made up. There was no uncertainty. Having written these five sentences, Appleton let go of the pen, wiped his forehead and retreated to the safety of his customary evening chair. It was a few minutes after six—his regular reading time—but Appleton gave no thought to books. Today, he sat silently in his chair until the clock struck seven. His neurons fired incessantly. By eight, he had made up his mind: in the morning he would fly to Nottingham and personally deliver the message to Mary Clare. There was only the slight problem of the wife. She would arrive home tomorrow afternoon and find it empty. She would worry. Appleton’s greatest fear was that the wife would worry. She was of good breeding and delicate constitution, and worry might weaken her system enough to allow otherwise harmless bacteria to set up residence, which would lead to complications and eventually a prolonged bedridden death. He shuddered at the mere inkling. Right, he would have to compose a note: “My dear, I am off on a scholarly pursuit. Do not worry. I will return by Wednesday. Sincerely, your devoted husband.” He folded the note and placed it on the dining room table. That, he realized, was more writing than he’d done since his tenure at Oxford. He felt productive again. - - -The plane skidded as it touched down, but the flight was otherwise without incident. Outside, grey clouds produced a cold mist that collected drops of water on the brim of Appleton’s hat as he waited by the terminal. Although no one could say so by looking at him, he was nervous.He nearly misspoke while telling the driver the address. In the taxi, he caught himself rubbing his thumb compulsively against his forefinger like he hadn’t done since his rugby days. - - -The house at 34 Wentworth St was made of pale yellow brick. It was smaller and set farther from the road than neighbouring houses. A stone path led to the front door, on either side of which bloomed a well-kempt garden. Appleton walked the path slowly, cherishing the smell of wet flowers and realizing that over the last twelve hours he’d developed a particular mental image of Mary Clare. It was something like the opposite of the wife.He stood for a few moments before the front door and deliberated whether to ring the electronic bell or use the bronze knocker. Eventually, he rapped his knuckles against the wood. A woman opened the door. “Yes, hello,” said Appleton. The woman looked suspiciously at his hands, but he wasn’t carrying anything except the back cover of the magazine on which he’d written the message from Mars. “I’m not selling,” he said. “I’m looking for Mrs Mary Clare. I’ve been informed that she lives at this address. I have a message for her from Charles R—.” “Did he send you, the scoundrel?” Appleton blinked. “Well did he or didn’t he, speak up. All these years and he can’t even come back to show his face, sends some other poor fool.” Her eyes studied Appleton’s hat. “Or maybe he’s dead. Maybe that’s what you come to tell me. Last of kin or some such.” “No, Mrs Clare—“ “Simpson, but one and the same as you’re looking for.” “Mrs Simpson.” Appleton fumbled the correction. He’d shoved one hand into a cloak pocket and was furiously rubbing his fingers together. “Yesterday evening I received a phone call. I wasn’t meant to receive it, you see, there was a mistake with the connection. The call was from Mr Charles R—. He asked that I deliver this message.” Appleton read aloud what he’d written on the magazine cover. The woman laughed and stomped her foot. She was in her sixties, Appleton realized. Sections of her hair were greying. The lines under her eyes were deep and permanent. Her laughter was not a joyous laughter. She said, “Whatever trick it is you’re playing, and whoever you’re playing it with, I’m too old for it, you understand? The past is dead. Mr Charles R— is dead. And I deserve to be left to my own peace. Don’t come back here.” But before she could close the door, Appleton put his hand on her shoulder. It was a soft shoulder. Appleton gasped. Never had he been so forward with a woman. “Please, Mr Charles R— is not dead. I spoke to him. I heard his voice. I’m telling you the truth. He’s alive. He’s just on another planet. It’s utterly remarkable!” Mrs Simpson looked at Appleton with suddenly sympathetic eyes and, even as she removed his hand from her shoulder, kept her voice calm: “He’s dead to me.” Appleton’s hand fell limply against the side of his cloak. “There are certain things you do that, once you do them, their consequences are permanent. There is no pretending and there is no coming back. Take care now, Mister.” With that, she shut the door. - - -Upon returning home, Appleton’s life returned to normal—at least in all superficial respects: he smiled to his wife, he kept to himself, and, at Six O’clock each evening, he retreated to his customary chair to read his customary books. The magazine cover on which he’d written the message from Charles R—, he placed in a private drawer in the desk in his study, underneath unfinished essays and research into particle acceleration and magnet engine propulsion and other old academic bric-a-brac.For weeks, whilst trying unsuccessfully to locate more information about Charles R—, he kept the drawer unlocked. But, once he’d given up hope, he turned the key and, with one click, banished all thought of Mars from his mind. Or at least that’s what Appleton intended. For there are certain neurons that, once they start firing, are impossible to stop. At most, they can be slowed—their work delayed. They are not obtrusive neurons: they do not prevent, say, smiling to one’s wife or reading customary books. But they are persistent and every so often they make the results of their operation known. This happens most-of-all at unexpected times, as, for instance, when Appleton, having bent to retrieve a particularly large pine cone from the grass, stood up with the complete schematic for the Magna-IV Engine before his eyes, or, upon having been asked by the local lady grocer for his opinion about a recent stretch of fair weather, replied, “My God, Ruthenium!” Once such ideas made themselves known to Appleton, he began putting them to paper. Once they were on paper, he tasked other, more compliant, neurons with dividing and conquering any problems that the papers made apparent; and, once those had been solved, what else was there to do but gather the necessary materials and construct the first prototypes? Appleton kept mum about this, of course. To his physicist colleagues, he was still at work on the same book he’d been working on for the last decade. He was still irrelevant. The wife, as long he smiled to her, suspected nothing. It was only his books that could have given him away—lying unopened on their shelves, their regular Six O’clock appointments long forgotten, their yellowing pages gathering dust—but books by themselves cannot speak. Appleton’s secret was safe. Even as the project approached completion, not one soul suspected. When launch-day finally dawned and Appleton, having composed a note to his wife indicating that he would be away until Wednesday on a scholarly pursuit, packed the pieces and prototypes into the back of a rented truck and drove to an old farmer’s field, from where he would blast off that very noon, the whole world was still naïve to the history that would soon be made. In the field, Appleton worked diligently. He filled the shell of the rocket with each of the separate machines he had designed and constructed. He had a life support system, a navigation system, a communications system. He had propulsion. He had fuel. He had everything that was necessary. Nothing had been overlooked. As the sun rose, it rose on years of endless effort that, today, had physically and for the first time come together in the middle of such a previously insignificant English spot on Earth. By Ten O’clock, the rocket was nearly complete. All that was left was the installation of the final ingenious detail: the captain’s seat: Appleton’s own customary evening chair. That done, Appleton looked for one last time at the earthly sky, its thin clouds moving slightly across an orange sun, then climbed into the rocket and closed the hatch. The pneumatics sighed. The inside air was warm. As he set the navigation, every click and beep audible as if within his own skull, Appleton wondered what became of Mary Simpson. But just as it had come, the wonder passed. He confirmed his intended destination on the small liquid crystal display and took a deep breath. The destination was unbelievable: Appleton felt feverish. He maneuvered into his chair and strapped himself in. Space was tight but he was not uncomfortable. Besides—he thrust a needle into a vein in his arm—he would be asleep for most of the journey. The sedative began to flow. He activated the countdown sequence. When he awoke, he would already be in Saturn’s orbit. - - -“Hello? Can you hear me?”The communications equipment produced only a monotonous hiss punctuated by crackles. Appleton scratched his head. He’d programmed the system to link directly to the telephone in his home. The signal was strong enough. It should be working. He tried another connection. This time, there was a faint click and the echo of a voice. “Darling! It’s me. Please say something,” Appleton spoke into the receiver. The voice wobbled. “I hope you can hear me. I hope you haven’t been worrying. I hope I haven’t caused you harm. Please, darling, say something so that I know there isn’t a malfunction.” The echoing voice suddenly came into rather clear focus. “Who is this? And do you want to speak with my mum?” Appleton knew right away that it wasn’t the voice of the wife. In fact, it wasn’t even a female voice. It was the voice of a boy. “My name is Appleton,” said Appleton. “I am attempting to contact the wife. Unfortunately, I may have miscalculated. Nonetheless, if you’d be a good lad and please make a note of the following: I am calling from Titan, which is the largest moon of the plane— “Saturn, I know. I’m not stupid.” Appleton cleared his throat and adjusted his headset. “Yes, that’s mighty good of you. As I was saying, I am on Titan, having only just arrived, you see. But the situation thus far appears manageable. I predict I shall make a fair go of living here.” He remembered his reason for calling. “Right, then, if you could tell as much to the wife, whom you will find living at 11 Golden Pheasant Lane in Beaconsfield, I would be much obliged. Her name is—“ The connection went dead. The communications system went offline. Try as Appleton might, no amount of banging, prodding and reprogramming ever brought it back. - - -Phil Jones replaced the telephone receiver.“Who was that?” his mother asked. Then disappeared down the hall without waiting for an answer. Phil went back to the homework spread out on his bedroom floor, whose doing Appleton had interrupted. Geography lay beside history, which bordered an island of English. Phil tried all three subjects—cross his innocent heart, he did—but all at once the history was too boring, the English too imprecise and the geography too much pointless memorisation. He rubbed his eyes. Next year he’d be in high school. The homework would only get harder. T-I-T-A-N He typed the letters almost absent-mindedly into a Google image search. The moon stared at him. Somewhere inside his head, certain neurons were beginning to fire. |
2023.06.07 00:56 Null_Trooper My opinion about the Sniper Paragon.
It would not be Balanceable if it could fire Full-Auto, M.O.A.B Cripple Shots that Ricochet.
So my idea is to go full 5-5-0. Give it Boss-Buster Shots that can Bounce between Bloons, being able to One-Shot M.O.A.Bs and stunning B.A.Ds and maybe even Bosses. It would fire really slowly though.
But, its Care-Package Abilities will allow the Sniper Paragon to Airdrop both Money and a Group of Mini-Snipers. These Mini-Snipers can have Full-Auto and you get three of them, so it’s a Net-Buff. They’d work exactly like the Heli-Pilot’s Special Poperations Gunner. If you try to Summon more Mini-Snipers, the first few Disappear.
The Money and Sniper Air-Drops should be separate Abilities, so you don’t have to replace your Mini-Snipers every time you want more Money.
submitted by Null_Trooper to btd6 [link] [comments]
So my idea is to go full 5-5-0. Give it Boss-Buster Shots that can Bounce between Bloons, being able to One-Shot M.O.A.Bs and stunning B.A.Ds and maybe even Bosses. It would fire really slowly though.
But, its Care-Package Abilities will allow the Sniper Paragon to Airdrop both Money and a Group of Mini-Snipers. These Mini-Snipers can have Full-Auto and you get three of them, so it’s a Net-Buff. They’d work exactly like the Heli-Pilot’s Special Poperations Gunner. If you try to Summon more Mini-Snipers, the first few Disappear.
The Money and Sniper Air-Drops should be separate Abilities, so you don’t have to replace your Mini-Snipers every time you want more Money.
2023.06.06 23:49 PM_ME_YOUR_ROBOTGIRL Character Database: The Aeons, Part 1 (VERY LONG)
 | Okay so basically I read everything, let's do this shit. submitted by PM_ME_YOUR_ROBOTGIRL to HonkaiStarRail [link] [comments] Notes Before We StartThe original intent behind this post was to serve as a database for every single major lore character in the game, starting with the Aeons. Unfortunately, though, I vastly underestimated its length when I started writing it, thinking I'd easily be able to do it all within one post. I was not!Initially, I decided to just separate the post into two parts, the Aeons and the mortal characters. This didn't pan out, because the Aeon section also ended up being massive! So now I have to split it up into 3+ parts. The first two parts about the Aeons will go up soon since it's all already written, this part right now and the next part either tomorrow or possibly in a few days once everyone's less busy doing the update. The benefit is that this arrangement allows me to go into greater detail about each individual Aeon -- if I'm able (thank you Oroboros for being mentioned like twice in the whole game) The third part which should hopefully be only one post and is about the mortal characters will almost certainly have to wait until I'm completely done with the update. The reason why this is so is because the update is guaranteed to introduce more lore about mortal characters, whereas I think the likelihood of it giving us more Aeon lore is comparatively lower (though it could still happen). I also need a break. Just writing this post took me a week, let alone the time it took to read almost everything that's in the game - it's safe to say that I dedicated myself to this for the entire second half of 1.0. If I go all in and write everything at once, I'm gonna burn out for sure. While corrections and additions are welcome, I just want everyone to remember that leaks are against the rules, so please make sure to have an official source on hand if you're going to tell me anything. I might not be able to edit this post once it goes up due to sheer length, but I'm sure people can just read the comments and get the info that way.That being said, before we start properly, we'll have to take a little diversion.The Structure of the UniverseI dreamed of a ray of light of a crystal chalice. I despise reading about and explaining this because miHoYo went out of their way to make it the most confusing thing imaginable. The in-game characters aren't even sure how their own universe works and miHoYo has provided little to no official unbiased explanations, so I'll just be borrowing Zandar "One" Kuwabara's theory here because HI3 more or less supports it and although alternate theories are mentioned in HSR, none have been explained yet. Imaginary TreeTo understand the nature of the Aeons and of the other characters, you must first understand Reality, as the Aeons are inherently linked to it. Sit down, strap in. Maybe listen to some music.Okay so think of the universe as being like a tree in a spatial and temporal sense. It's not literally that, but it works like that. Space-time is defined by a collection of an unimaginably numerous amount of branches. Such branches define independent worlds and expand outwards, forming leaves that mark those worlds at different development stages in spacetime - thus each leaf is a world. These 'worlds' are defined as 'galaxies', a confusing term since it is also used to refer to the universe as a whole. What's important to note is that a "world" is often more than simply a single individual planet, and they may have different attributes (for example, the world Punklorde is entirely cybernetic) The development of those branches occurs as they absorb imaginary energy from the vasculature provided by the trunk. The trunk's got some funny stuff going on with a sea of quanta or whatever but this is HI3 stuff that has not proven relevant to HSR specifically yet - the Sea of Quanta does exist here (obviously), as proven by the crafting material "Quantum Ripples". But getting into it would muddy the waters. Just know that when a world has run its course, it "falls" into the Sea of Quanta and is destroyed (from the perspective of the HSR mortals, it just 'disappears') Imaginary energy constitutes a space which separates each branch and leaf and world from one another, making passage generally impossible unless one can manipulate imaginary energy. Because of this, for a very long time it was impossible for creatures to gain passage or even be able to observe other worlds (galaxies) until the Aeons appeared and granted them the ability to do so. More on this later. It's possible for a mortal being to enter Imaginary space through certain means but they'll quickly die without some form of protection or the ability to manipulate Imaginary energy. Zandar's understanding is that imaginary energy was formed by the thoughts of intelligent beings, and the Aeon's ability to traverse imaginary space is what caused the worlds to be similar. Which is half true, but Elias Salas later proved that imaginary energy exists on its own and is entirely unique, which messes with the foundations of the theory. But it's our best bet. Okay but who cares thoughWhy is this relevant? The worlds contained within the leaves of the tree may have different attributes but share certain similarities - most notably, the recurrence of certain individuals. Those individuals are separate from each other and have their own memories and life experiences, but have a certain likeliness that links them. And that is why there are many Bronyas. And many Wendy's, some even male. And many Kianas. And maybe even many Himekos as well. Notably, there is an in-universe theory named the "Parallel Imaging Theory", which may suggest people are aware of this phenomenon.Because HSR's plotline and lore involves the traversal between multiple different worlds, it is possible for multiple versions (different individual) of the same character to appear within the game. So yeah. The biggest misconception people have about HSR, and one that I myself held for some time until I started reading everything, is that they assume it's localized to one Leaf in the Imaginary Tree. This is a misconception made possible, and more complicated, by several factors:
I also imagine that it doesn't help that (and this is how I began to believe in the same misconception for a while) a lot of people used the "separate universes" argument to argue in favor of Genshin and HI3 being completely unrelated. Which, for the record, I still completely believe as plenty of evidence suggests they want Genshin players to not have to deal with the huge steamy backlog of lore baggage HI3 has, but it did make people think of each Honkai game as always being completely disconnected from one another in a very physical sense. The Aeonshttps://preview.redd.it/4kozuu79kg4b1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=3ca5ce3f571a169b5d8efd6f80a44107ae30fbaa DefinitionThe Imaginary element is defined by Welt as a "metaphysical aggregation of the spirit". In other words, it's a form of energy that can be influenced by the thoughts and actions of intelligent beings. When an intelligent being of sufficient will fulfills certain, currently unknown, conditions, they take over a philosophical concept and become an Aeon. This opens a Path to that concept and grants the newly born Aeon not only the ability to manipulate Imaginary energy, but also complete control over the Imaginary expression of that concept - it becomes their "Primum Mobile", an imprint formed upon the Imaginary element. That Path also becomes a form of energy that can be tapped into by various sources, and even begins to emerge naturally. The entry for "Topological Acceleration Band" implies that Path energy is limited, which would make sense, as Aeons seem to restrict their underlings' power instead of just giving all of it flat out, and the limitations imposed by this would also serve to explain why Nanook doesn't just, I dunno, blow up the entire universe. In any case, even if it is limited, it's such an extreme amount of energy that it may as well be limitless from the perspective of mortals. In other words, they become an embodiment of a certain concept, and are able to exert their full will upon it. This appears to deprive them of a certain sense of personal identity - all Aeons are referred to with gender-neutral pronouns. In the one record of an ascension that was witnessed (Lan's) that we currently have, the Aeon's physical body disappeared upon ascension. It remains unclear if this is true of all Aeons or not but there is definitely a physical change involved. Aeons are able to freely move around Imaginary space and the leaves in the Imaginary tree at no harm to themselves and possess unimaginable power - Nanook's highest level underlings are capable of incinerating entire galaxies (worlds? The inconsistency of this term drives me crazy). They also possess a degree of ominiscience - not completely so, but it's fairly obvious that they're able to notice and interact with beings treading on their Path at basically any distance. They can also manifest physically if they so choose but the degree of this seems to vary on the Aeon. Qlipoth basically stays in one place building their wall whereas Fuli appears to be capable of teleporting. Lan runs at faster than light speeds throughout the universe. Aha is known for taking on a humanoid form. Akivili physically traveled with mortals. Aeons can die, but it's difficult to pull this off. Only one Aeon is known to have been killed, and the deed was done by other Aeons. It is also possible for an Aeon to experience a form of death - if their Path overlaps too much with another, the Path representing the greater concept will absorb it, which effectively kills that Aeon. There are other Aeons that have disappeared and are considered dead, but the ambiguity of their circumstances means that there's a possibility that like, I dunno, they're just hiding or something. Aeons are limited by one another and their Paths. They cannot ever deviate from it - Xipe cannot create disorder, Yaoshi may not kill, etc. Therefore negotiating with an Aeon is impossible, they shouldn't even be treated as "people" you can "talk" to. Generally the universe tends towards balance - an out of control Aeon may be killed by other Aeons or be opposed by an Aeon whose Path limits theirs. Furthermore, an optional conversation with Welt implies that an Aeon's power at least partially corresponds to the broadness of their concept. Because Lan's Path is so narrow, they're one of the less powerful Aeons. Who the first Aeon was or how old they are is unclear. The IPC seems to think the first ever Aeon was Qlipoth, but they're biased and in-universe this is doubted. What is certain is that they did not always exist - between the origin of the universe and the appearance of the Aeons, the universe was populated by entities called Leviathans. We know jack about them, other than they were very powerful, and as a result of something called the Dusk Wars, they either all died out or disappeared, except for the Aeon Oroboros the Voracity. Aeons and MortalsBefore we get into this, one thing should be noted: once opened, a Path can never be closed, and so even if an Aeon dies, the energy of their Path is still accessible. That being said, if an Aeon does die/disappear, their Path can be infringed upon a little - Tayzzyronth 'carved up' the Permanence to become the Propagation, but the power of the Permanence still exists as seen with the Vidyadhara.The Aeons can influence the universe in various ways, physical or otherwise. A favorite of many many Aeons is the empowering of certain underlings. Mortals can access the energy of an Aeon's path to a very limited degree by becoming Pathstriders, but Aeons are capable of enhancing some more directly, giving them greater access to that Path's energy. Some Aeons have their own little way of 'upgrading' mortals through indirect applications of their power, but all Aeons are capable of infusing a mortal with their energy, and such a mortal is referred to as an Emanator. Though they are capable of this, not all Aeons choose to have Emanators. PathstriderIf a being of sufficient will possesses attributes aligning with a certain Path, they gain the ability to derive power from that Path's energy. This makes them more powerful than the average person and grants them some nifty abilities, but compared to beings enhanced by an Aeon's power, Emanators, or the Aeon themselves, they're pretty weak.One example named by Dan Heng is that Pathstriders of the Trailblaze are able to resist extreme natural conditions to a certain extent, though they're not immune. From a character standpoint, this seems to be the justification as for why certain characters have unexplained powers. But it's hard to tell, because the game rarely ever names someone as a Pathstrider, and even when it does, there's clear overlap (for example the Astral Express crew are Pathstriders of the Trailblaze but have individual Paths). It is not yet clarified if you can be a Pathstrider in multiple Paths at once or if this is just a gameplay abstraction, but the characters do generally match the Path assigned to them personality-wise to at least some extent, though some in more roundabout ways. EmanatorA mortal that was given direct access to the power of a Path by an Aeon. They are WAY stronger than Pathstriders, with the most powerful ones capable of affecting reality on a galactic scale. Like the Aeons, an Emanator is limited by the definition of that Path.Emanators are capable of controlling Imaginary energy to a certain degree, which means they're also capable of traversing through Imaginary space without needing assistance. Herta, even through her puppet, is capable of creating a contract that forces the signee to obey "Imaginary law", which affects the entire universe and cannot be interacted with by outside forces. Six-phased ice, the ice March 7th is capable of controlling and was once encased with, has its form dictated by Imaginary law, meaning it likely exists with the blessing of some Aeon or another (Hm). How much access to a Path's energy an Emanator has is dependent entirely on how much the Aeon feels like giving them. How independent an Emanator is also depends on the Aeon. Some Emanators can do whatever they want, whereas others act as extensions of that Aeon's will. Aeons can make anyone they want into an Emanator, but most tend to choose mortals that align with their goals. Well except Aha, who is infamous for turning anyone and anything into an Emanator and often for the dumbest reasons imaginable. Now because an Aeon needs to be active to turn people into Emanators, if an Aeon dies or disappears they can't make any more obviously. But because the Path is forever open, any existing Emanators will retain their powers even after the disappearance or death of their Aeon, as seen with Idrila's Mirror Holders. Akivili\"Reach the end of the story in your own way. When the time comes to make a choice, make one you know you won't regret.\" The Trailblaze, and the Xianzhou knows them as Cloudstrider. They hail from the world of Pegana, which used a 12-month long year cycle similar to our planet, known as the Trailblaze Calendar. They're pretty old, and the records of their appearance date as far back as the first few Amber Eras. Akivili created the Astral Express, the Star Rail, and the Chromatic Echelon that allows for the laying of new rails. They did so in order to reach the "endpoint" of the Imaginary Tree, unable to tolerate the idea of "that which must not be known". It's also rumored that there may be other machines such as the Express, but Himeko says the internal records don't mention any. The rumor is that the Express' core is Akivili's heart, but as Himeko points out, they'd need two hearts for this, because the Express was contemporaneous with them. Akivili is probably one of the most important Aeons, not just because the Express wouldn't exist without them, but because the Star Rail laid by them is capable of connecting different worlds between the vast barriers of Imaginary energy, therefore allowing different civilizations to contact and interact with each other without needing the power of the Aeons. All interworld space routes are based upon the Star Rail tracks though it's implied that the 'bridges' they created extend far beyond the actual railing. In a sense, without Akivili, none of the plot would happen. As a matter of fact, if The Ones Above hail from another world, then maybe not even APHO from the other game would've happened either. Akivili disappeared many years ago in circumstances so obscure that even the most informed groups have no idea what happened to them. Kafka tells us that if there's anyone or anything in the universe that would know, it'd be Nous. The game's omniscient narrator implies that Akivili's disappearance was due to "an accident". The name Akivili is probably a distortion of the Latin "aquili", which means "of the eagle" or "of the north wind". FollowersAkivili's followers are the Nameless, who were inspired by their route through the universe. Some Nameless chose to travel alone, but those that didn't joined Akivili in their Astral Express and journeyed together in great merriment, with Akivili taking on a mortal form and riding within the Express with them. Even after Akivili disappeared, some surviving Nameless managed to maintain and use the Astral Express, until the Star Rails fell into disrepair due to the Stellarons - over the course of this process, most of the remaining Nameless either retired, died or disappeared.When this happened, the Astral Express ran aground and was set into a collision course with Himeko's world - on her birthday, no less - and she quickly hurried to the impact site, where she repaired the Express and took off with it. Sometime later, Pom-Pom appeared as well. Those two became the next generation of Nameless, and over time would add various other people to their group, such as Welt, March 7th, Dan Heng, the Trailblazer, and (temporarily) Void Archives. Currently, no Emanators of the Trailblaze are known to exist. NanookTowers crumbled and the people fled, for the sun was soon to set and meet with vicious destruction. The Destruction, also known by the Xianzhou as the Ruin Author. Nanook is the newest Aeon to have ascended - if we assume that the Stellarons were sent out at about the same time as their ascension (optimistic, to be honest), then they're only about 500 years old. That's a lot of time for regular mortals, but easily within the lifespan of most long life species, and definitely far younger than the other Aeons. Nanook was born (judging by Fuli's memory of them showcasing them as a baby) in the world of Adlivun, which had been devastated by Emperor Rubert I's campaigns and nearly turned into a hive by Tayzzyronth's Swarm. When Akivili visited it, it was already a crapsack that was trying desperately to survive against the remnants of the Swarm. This terrible war-torn world seems to have caused the young Nanook to become extremely cynical - the Data Bank suggests that they believe civilization itself is cancer, and that war is the only thing common to all of them, the birth of the Universe being a mistake that must be corrected. This mindset led to a series of as yet unknown events that caused Nanook to incinerate their own home world, and achieving apotheosis in this process. Upon ascension, Nanook immediately got to work. Despite likely being less than a 1000 years old, their followers have already managed to destroy worlds and pose a serious existential threat to almost all galactic civilization. Indeed, although Rubert and the Swarm might have been quite dangerous back when they were active, the Aeon they indirectly birthed has caused destruction on a far more apocalyptic scale than they could've ever dreamed of. Nanook is almost certainly (though not confirmed to be) the cause of the Stellaron ("Cancer of All Worlds") phenomenon - bundles of destructive (and intelligent!) energy sent to various corners of the universe, likely intended to destabilize civilizations and natural phenomena before the Antimatter Legion arrives and "cleans up" the rest. The Stellarons can affect natural processes and interact with mortals in ways that manipulate them towards taking destructive actions. They can enhance those mortals as well as explode! Notably, the Stellaron's destructive energy corrodes the Star Rail, which not only physically impedes passage for the Express but holds the possible danger of closing the pathways between worlds. Perhaps the most unique characteristic of the Stellarons is their ability to corrode the region around them into "Fragmentum", which is able to analyze, absorb and replicate the forms and memories of the living creatures touched by it into hostile monsters, which further destabilizes the regions they impact. Strangely, not every Stellaron seems to create a Fragmentum zone. There's one inside you now, by the way. The name "Nanook" is derived from the Inuit bear god, which to be honest had a far closer association with hunting than anything else, and bear worship is a key aspect of Inuit religion. But I guess the thought process here is that Nanook (god) is also associated with weaponry and is strong, so... I guess it works? Followers\"Let me put it another way, why are you alive?\" Sometime after ascending, Nanook went to an unknown world and liberated the regime that had imprisoned the talented Firesmith clan there, which held unprecedented skill in the art of weapon making. Nanook blessed them with the Mark of Destruction, which granted them great power (but corrupted their minds and bodies), and sent them to the volcanic world of Warforge, which turned into a large scale training and weapons production facility. Antimatter creatures, "scavenged parts" (such as the heart of a deceased Leviathan), and individuals that showed promise and a pure desire for destruction to Nanook were 'reforged', physically hammered and altered until their very biology had been changed and combined with their weapons, into the members of the Antimatter Legion. Even the Firesmiths that created them became part of their own creations. The fire that forged them was of incomparable heat and infused them with the very power of the Destruction. The Antimatter Legion became an army with the sole purpose of destroying the universe. Members are stratified into ranks and even have their own medals. Lower ranked members are tasked with destabilizing civilizations, higher ranked members can destroy galaxies. The Stellarons likely act as seeds and beacons for the Antimatter Legion, carefully cultivating the circumstances necessary to weaken the target, potentially for centuries, before finally ushering in their doom. Like farmers, they go around the universe slashing and burning societies and exhibiting as much patience and strategy as is necessary. The most devastating quality of Nanook and the Antimatter Legion is that unlike Emperor Rubert's army or the Swarm, they don't simply overwhelm enemy forces and take over, but carefully study and integrate into them, sowing discord and in-fighting until they're weak enough to guarantee a loss against the Legion. This is by far the biggest reason for Nanook's success and the biggest reason why they're such a massive threat, even to powerful entities such as the Xianzhou Alliance. Perhaps the second biggest reason is that through the Fragmentum and the skilled Firesmiths in Warforge, Nanook is also able to absorb and integrate the qualities of other beings into the members of their Legion, allowing them to constantly evolve and grow more powerful, as well as adapt to the unique qualities of the worlds and civilizations they conquer. The greatest members of the Antimatter Legion are given the privilege of becoming Emanators of the Destruction, known as Lord Ravagers. They serve as commanders, and are unbelievably dangerous. Welt implies there are even more powerful individuals known as "Overlords", but we don't know much about them, since they're mentioned in only one line right now. Of course, every Aeon has a group of followers who don't attract their attention or explicit approval, but adhere to their ideas of the Path. For Nanook, this is the Annihilator Gang, a group of hooligans and criminals who take joy in destruction, be it for personal pleasure, petty revenge, or insanity. Nanook looks down upon such "impure" reasons for destroying, so they receive no attention from the Aeon. LanYou must follow the traces left behind in the storm's wake. The Hunt, know by the Xianzhou as the Reignbow Arbiter. Lan ascended in the year 3400 of the Xianzhou calendar with the current year probably being around 8098-8100, which would make them around 4700 years old. Before that time, they were a mortal hero known as Reignbow, born in year 1700 (making Lan's total age around 6400 years old). It should be noted that almost all of our information about Reignbow comes in the form of severely altered poetry and some historical notes by the biased modern day Xianzhou Alliance. Reignbow was part of the original fleet of nine ships (three of them were lost over the course of Xianzhou history, if you were wondering), and they resided in the lead Yaoqing ship. Their claim to fame was the defeat and capture of the Heliobi Flint Emperor, the leader of a species of formless energy beings capable of manipulating emotions and creating stars. The Heliobi as well as the Flint Emperor were imprisoned and the latter specifically was used as the Zhuming's energy source. Eventually, the Xianzhou Luofu was granted the Ambrosial Arbor and the fleet shared in the blessings of long life, but Reignbow peered into the future (possibly with Nous' help? Sadly, the historical source for this misappropriates a different figure's actions with that of Reignbow's, making it hard to tell) and viewed the Xianzhou descending into chaos. Reignbow tried to warn people about this ruinous future, but was deemed insane and ignored. In protest, they shot an arrow at the Ambrosial Arbor, a symbolic gesture that nevertheless earned the ire of the elite class, resulting in Reignbow's incarceration. Because of their status as a hero for winning the war against the Heliobi, Reignbow was sentenced to cryogenic stasis, rather than any other more severe punishment such as execution. Later, the Xianzhou were besieged by a large army of Denizens of Abundance and faced total extinction. Seeing no other option, they released every prisoner, including Reignbow, as a desperate maneuver. Reignbow went into the Zhuming prison and struck a deal with the Flint Emperor, allowing it to possess their body in exchange for great power, a move that was also done by many other people with the other Heliobi prisoners. The enhanced Reignbow and their followers rose up into the air, at which point they used their added power to fire an arrow that shattered the Ambrosial Arbor (from the Yaoqing to the Luofu). This released a massive amount of Imaginary energy that very quickly ended the fight - Muldrasil is to this day still recovering from the damage suffered from this. Lan's body disappeared and they ascended to Aeonhood after this. Interestingly, poetic records suggest the Flint Emperor was also not found afterwards, implying that they may have ascended together, but historical records say that it was partially found. Which is true? Who can say. Lan now spends most of their time running around the universe at faster than light speeds obliterating worlds populated by Denizens of Abundance and guiding the Xianzhou Alliance. They have become single-mindedly focused on the hunt, not caring about the cost or damage. The name Lan derives from 岚, which is used to refer to the mist that comes out of mountains. Since the Xianzhou arkships are named after culturally significant mountains, it works. Interestingly, the same character (traditional, 嵐) in Japanese means "storm", which I think is appropriate as well, especially since the narrator of Myriad Celestia does a little pun with it. FollowersTo revert to mortality, eradicate the ambition of a deathless doom: We shall not rest. The surviving Xianzhou ships banded together against the Abundance and also added new species to their ranks, creating the Xianzhou Alliance. The Xianzhou Alliance now traverses the universe hunting down Denizens of Abundance and interpreting Lan's commands. The entire Xianzhou Alliance is under Lan's direct protection and endorsement and as a result enjoy access to their Path's power. Few other factions have this kind of privilege, making them one of the most powerful entities in the universe. Granted, it does not prevent them from suffering collateral damage from Lan's very explosive arrows. Together, they share the mutual goal of destroying Yaoshi. Lan also has regular worshippers in the form of the Galaxy Rangers, who don't hate Yaoshi, but admire Lan's Path. They go around the universe performing heroic deeds and fighting evil in the name of justice, having even assassinated a Lord Ravager. Unfortunately, they got in the bad side of one #64 Dr. Primitive, and began to "mysteriously" lose members and influence. Though there are some Galaxy Rangers still remaining in the universe, they've become a shell of their former selves. No Emanators of the Hunt have been directly named by the game yet, although Lan does allow the Generals of each Xianzhou ship to borrow power in the form of Hunt constructs such as the Lightning Lord. Nous The Erudition, known as the Wisdomwalker to the Xianzhou. Nous was a computer and artificial intelligence probably created by Zandar "One" Kuwabara that ended up ascending to Aeonhood. It's pretty old, predating Lan's ascension, but we don't know by how much. It was made to provide answers to the universe and continues working on that goal now. Its divine corpus probably exists in the Temple of Nous. Nous or νοῦς is a Greek philosophical concept. While colloquially it is simple meant to refer to intellect or good sense, philosophically speaking, the universe possesses a 'mind' or awareness (not necessarily theological or supernatural, but rather as something equal to matter, merely a natural property of the world) which organizes it, creating order, and is present within living beings though unable to be interacted with. Nous is the higher awareness of human beings, a quality which animals do not possess but gives us a sense of perception distinct from that which we can see and experience, granting the ability to reason. It's a pretty good name. The Chinese name 博识尊 just means "knowledgeable saint". I dunno if it has more significance than that. Followers\"Firstly, let us state a universal truth: The author is a super genius of the kind only born once every few millennia, even on the scale of the entire universe.\" -- Herta In order to help with its goal of ultimately answering "the problem" presented by the Universe, Nous decided to assemble the greatest minds in the universe to discuss its solutions and questions. To that end, people who display promise are given acknowledgment by Nous and made into a member of the Genius Society, a group of people who were directly blessed by the Erudition. The Genius Society members are ordered by their joining order, with the latest being #84 Stephen Lloyd. Being a member of the Genius Society holds no obligations or rituals whatsoever - members are free to do whatever they want, even in some cases, enact violence on one another or on the universe itself. In general, they tend towards seclusion and do not share their findings with the rest of society, but it depends on the member. However, not all members of the Genius Society earn the complete approval of Nous. Only those who ascertain Nous' true intentions and ask the right questions are given the key to the Nous Temple. There, they must pass an intense series of intellectual trials, after which they gain access to... some place that no one has ever returned from. It transcends worldly wisdom. #1 Zandar "One" Kuwabara and #83 Herta are Emanators of the Erudition. It's possible that all members of the Genius Society are Emanators, but this has not yet been confirmed. Nous' other group of worshippers is the Intelligentsia Guild. This one doesn't earn Nous' direct attention, but is open to everyone and shares its findings publicly, serving as a network for mutual learning and discovery, which it believes is the key to achieving wisdom. To achieve this, they treat knowledge as a currency, 'trading' their findings and encouraging mutual competitiveness. Generally, the Genius Society looks down upon it, but it's a well-established group with ties with most other groups including the IPC (which has helped make them fabulously wealthy), making it the one that's seen more favorably throughout the universe, especially since their willingness to actually publish their inventions and findings have led to more favorable conditions in the universe, such as the reverse-engineering of Synesthesia Beacons (first developed by #56 Elias Salas) which allows for mutual intelligibility between species. Still, their pursuit for knowledge can be destructive, such as the Armed Archaeologists that have a habit of turning ruins into craters after extracting knowledge from them. XipeJoin this great choir and feast, listen to the beating of billions upon billions of hearts, holding you in their embrace... The Harmony. Xipe is an Aeon that somewhat uniquely consists of multiple different lifeforms from multiple worlds that appear to have ascended together, resulting in a plural being, not dissimilar from what (may) have happened with Lan and the Flint Emperor. Their ultimate goal is to end all strife and brutality by uniting all lifeforms into one melody. Also, when they ascended, they absorbed Ena the Order. Whoops. Xipe's name is derived from the Aztec maize god Xipe Totec, which is famous for having a hobby of collecting and wearing flayed skin. The flayed skin actually represents the outer skin of the maize (corn), and Xipe Totec is something akin to a life-death-rebirth deity, the living god germinating like a seed out of the rotting skin within the twenty day month cycle. It's the most gruesome way of representing spring I could think of. Why they chose this name (other than potential sinister implications) for the multi-headed god of harmony in their game is beyond me, especially since I didn't even mention that Xipe is attributed with the invention and patronage of warfare - rigged colosseum fights where an outnumbered and poorly armed opponent was fitted against experienced and fully geared warriors was one way of sacrificing to Xipe Totec. Sure, Xipe Totec was seen as a good deity and integral to the functioning of society, but that's most deities. Maybe it's because maize is really a collection of lots of tiny fruits in one ear? Who knows. Also if you're thinking it's an etymology thing like Qlipoth, the name Xipe Totec means "Our Lord the Flayed One" so I'm not sure about that one. Hey, maybe the puzzle pieces are meant to be a very abstract representation of flayed skin? Creepy. FollowersAs you wonder what it is, you hear Renoir speaking in a muddled voice. \"Put it in.\" No... Is that Renoir's voice? You are sure you heard a NOISE... The Family. Implied to be under some form of hivemind or mind control, the Family consists of a network of worlds and civilizations blessed by Xipe directly. They call out to other worlds and assimilate those that accept the call ostensibly voluntarily, but who knows how consensual the process is really. Otherwise, they mostly spend their time singing and being really happy all the time. That's it for Part 1. Next Part we'll look at the other Aeons, for which I left out the majority because of the sheer size of the initial explanation. |
2023.06.06 23:47 dubluv00 Scolioza fete
Viitoarea mea sotie a depistat scolioza de la 12-13 ani, o are destul de grava (57 grade curbura de sus si 27 cea de jos). Ai ei nu au vrut ca ea sa faca operatie, au optat pentru corsete schimbate din 6 in 6 luni si tot felul de masaje si kinetoterapie. Au internat-o la Oradea la ceva spital de recuperare pentru copii cu handicap cam o luna, dupa care la 17 ani a renuntat complet la corset. La 21 de ani a fost la ceva clinica de recuperare din Timisoara dar in cazul ei nu a mers (Muller). Acum are 22 de ani si isi uraste parintii ca nu au optat pentru operatie atunci cand era mica. Si acum se chinuie cu durerile de spate si esteticul.
E cineva care are sau a avut scolioza si ii poate da un sfat ce a facut si cum au demers lucrurile?
submitted by dubluv00 to Romania [link] [comments]
E cineva care are sau a avut scolioza si ii poate da un sfat ce a facut si cum au demers lucrurile?
2023.06.06 23:42 Lonely_white_queen attack on mars
Our attack on Mars was nothing short of a suicide run, it was unsanctioned by the empire, and we had no aid, no escape route, and no rear guard, but we needed resources, and with the Terran planet Mars being the aggregate of all raw resources within their empire it was an obvious target.
We made a mad dash, pushing our engines to the limit to come out of warp over the planet, suicidal in its own right as it's supposedly impossible to warp to individual planets. And with our warp engines fried, we had no escape if we failed, but if we succeed and got out before Earth heard of this incident we would be victorious, we could rebuild our engines and leave rapidly.
But our first issue arrived the instant we left warp, our guns started firing instantly on the six rings that orbited Mars, ten thousand naval yards a third of them holding complete ships, another third under construction, and the last third purely for intake from other planets. While they interlocked at the center with a colossal space elevator going to the surface.
We couldent see it happen but soon after our shells hit the orbital rings we asumed alarms started to sound on the station as the docked ships began to fire back, even those which were under construction began to fire with the few weapons they had, some of the ships so colossal they touched hulls along their edges where they were docked
It would be suicide to stay and fight each ship, even with our entire navy of eight thousand ships the Terran vessals were almost impervious to our weapons with their shields raised as our conquering empire refused to give us the modern technology they created.
So our ships pushed through, and at almost reckless speeds we crashed through the wall of vessels and defensive stations attempting to get to the surface.
I was on one of the crews that were meant to lead the first assault, even attempting to get to our dropship with how the ship shook and the gravitation fields failed to fight against the gravity of Mars was incredibly difficult. Yet as our vessel leveled itself out in orbit I got to my designated vessel. With the bottom of the ship opening below us as the ramp closed we dropped out falling down to the surface.
The ship barely caught us as we touchdown on the surface even such important things like thruster fule were limited having to use it on a bare minimum as the ships above needed it most.
We charged out with pride in our hearts, we had broken through the greatest wall in the galaxy and landed on the most defended planet, yet as we charged into the red sandstorm we found… nothing.
Our sensors had told us there were hundreds if not thousands of people exactly here, we had hoped to run through this city and take slaves along with resources expecting there to be no defenses on the surface.
As my commander called back up to the ships asking what was going on I couldent help but feel dread, there was nothing on the surface, sure there were hundreds of thousands of warehouses and trillions of miles of tracks ad several billion drones floating around but nothing was alive.
That was till we heard the heavy iron stomping, slowly it got closer and closer shrouded in the dust. It only came into view as a colossal steel foot came down over me.
Jumping out of the way I quickly rolled over to look at the towering beast as the sandstorm finally cleared. None of my allies found the bravery to fire as a hundred towering machines were lined up ahead of us, some as short as 50m tall while the one infront of me was no less than three hundred.
I had heard of these machines, everyone had, titans. But they were myths, stories tossed around by crewmen from whisperings from the bridges of starships, machines that whipped out entire armies, they weren't lumbering monsters but agile beasts that mimicked the human form perfectly.
And that was proven true as the female-shaped machine squatted down infront of me the sound of pistons hissing almost deafening as titanium creaked.
“You invade the dwarven forge of Mars and now you face the students of the gubernator scholae (pilot school), but since you are here you will be perfect target practice, or do you surrender?”
“We do not, you humans and your machines won't scare us… men, raise arms.” our commander shouted at the machines and us. All we could do was look at him as if he was mad, fighting the Titans, even students were crazy. Hell, we were all wondering what kind o madman gives students such machines.
Yet without the commander's voice, it seemed to seal our fate as the machine stood up seemingly not interested in our personal views. We watched all shaking in fear as it drew a colossal weapon from its back holding it in its hand. We only had to wonder what the weapon was for a moment before liquid started to drip from the barrel and a flame sparked on the end of a brass pipe.
“Run for it” I called out as I started to run across the barren landscape. Only a few of my comrades followed me as many were rooted in fear as the colossal titan pointed its weapon towards up pulling the trigger and letting out a colossal ocean of fire. It was a few seconds before the fire touched me that I was able to dive into a cave. Many of my comrades and others I dident know were quickly cut down and erased from existence as the wall of steel removed us from existence. It wasn't an attack as it was so clean and quick it couldent be called that. There were no bodies remaining to take home or burry as I watched the machines step over where I was hiding calmly chasing our lines off the planet and stepping on our landing craft as if they were tin cans crushing them under foot not even shifting or flinching when their fuel and ammunition stores exploded.
I dident even care at that point about my people this attack was suicidal anyway, all I wanted to do was escape, but with nowhere to go all I did was run into the desert.
It wasn't till a few days later when the last of our ships were falling from the sky that the forces of Mars began their search and rescue efforts when I was innately discovered. Now that I sit in a pow camp I can't really say what my future is but at least I've been treated better than we would have the humans. Food for one thing.
submitted by Lonely_white_queen to HFY [link] [comments]
We made a mad dash, pushing our engines to the limit to come out of warp over the planet, suicidal in its own right as it's supposedly impossible to warp to individual planets. And with our warp engines fried, we had no escape if we failed, but if we succeed and got out before Earth heard of this incident we would be victorious, we could rebuild our engines and leave rapidly.
But our first issue arrived the instant we left warp, our guns started firing instantly on the six rings that orbited Mars, ten thousand naval yards a third of them holding complete ships, another third under construction, and the last third purely for intake from other planets. While they interlocked at the center with a colossal space elevator going to the surface.
We couldent see it happen but soon after our shells hit the orbital rings we asumed alarms started to sound on the station as the docked ships began to fire back, even those which were under construction began to fire with the few weapons they had, some of the ships so colossal they touched hulls along their edges where they were docked
It would be suicide to stay and fight each ship, even with our entire navy of eight thousand ships the Terran vessals were almost impervious to our weapons with their shields raised as our conquering empire refused to give us the modern technology they created.
So our ships pushed through, and at almost reckless speeds we crashed through the wall of vessels and defensive stations attempting to get to the surface.
I was on one of the crews that were meant to lead the first assault, even attempting to get to our dropship with how the ship shook and the gravitation fields failed to fight against the gravity of Mars was incredibly difficult. Yet as our vessel leveled itself out in orbit I got to my designated vessel. With the bottom of the ship opening below us as the ramp closed we dropped out falling down to the surface.
The ship barely caught us as we touchdown on the surface even such important things like thruster fule were limited having to use it on a bare minimum as the ships above needed it most.
We charged out with pride in our hearts, we had broken through the greatest wall in the galaxy and landed on the most defended planet, yet as we charged into the red sandstorm we found… nothing.
Our sensors had told us there were hundreds if not thousands of people exactly here, we had hoped to run through this city and take slaves along with resources expecting there to be no defenses on the surface.
As my commander called back up to the ships asking what was going on I couldent help but feel dread, there was nothing on the surface, sure there were hundreds of thousands of warehouses and trillions of miles of tracks ad several billion drones floating around but nothing was alive.
That was till we heard the heavy iron stomping, slowly it got closer and closer shrouded in the dust. It only came into view as a colossal steel foot came down over me.
Jumping out of the way I quickly rolled over to look at the towering beast as the sandstorm finally cleared. None of my allies found the bravery to fire as a hundred towering machines were lined up ahead of us, some as short as 50m tall while the one infront of me was no less than three hundred.
I had heard of these machines, everyone had, titans. But they were myths, stories tossed around by crewmen from whisperings from the bridges of starships, machines that whipped out entire armies, they weren't lumbering monsters but agile beasts that mimicked the human form perfectly.
And that was proven true as the female-shaped machine squatted down infront of me the sound of pistons hissing almost deafening as titanium creaked.
“You invade the dwarven forge of Mars and now you face the students of the gubernator scholae (pilot school), but since you are here you will be perfect target practice, or do you surrender?”
“We do not, you humans and your machines won't scare us… men, raise arms.” our commander shouted at the machines and us. All we could do was look at him as if he was mad, fighting the Titans, even students were crazy. Hell, we were all wondering what kind o madman gives students such machines.
Yet without the commander's voice, it seemed to seal our fate as the machine stood up seemingly not interested in our personal views. We watched all shaking in fear as it drew a colossal weapon from its back holding it in its hand. We only had to wonder what the weapon was for a moment before liquid started to drip from the barrel and a flame sparked on the end of a brass pipe.
“Run for it” I called out as I started to run across the barren landscape. Only a few of my comrades followed me as many were rooted in fear as the colossal titan pointed its weapon towards up pulling the trigger and letting out a colossal ocean of fire. It was a few seconds before the fire touched me that I was able to dive into a cave. Many of my comrades and others I dident know were quickly cut down and erased from existence as the wall of steel removed us from existence. It wasn't an attack as it was so clean and quick it couldent be called that. There were no bodies remaining to take home or burry as I watched the machines step over where I was hiding calmly chasing our lines off the planet and stepping on our landing craft as if they were tin cans crushing them under foot not even shifting or flinching when their fuel and ammunition stores exploded.
I dident even care at that point about my people this attack was suicidal anyway, all I wanted to do was escape, but with nowhere to go all I did was run into the desert.
It wasn't till a few days later when the last of our ships were falling from the sky that the forces of Mars began their search and rescue efforts when I was innately discovered. Now that I sit in a pow camp I can't really say what my future is but at least I've been treated better than we would have the humans. Food for one thing.
2023.06.06 23:30 Kindly_Shift_1122 Should I go NC with my mom after all she did?
I´ve been thinking about posting this for a while now. Throwaway account for reasons you will come to understand quite clearly. It’s gonna be a long one so pls bear with me, this is the story (history) of one of the most painful parts of my life and I could really use some help. I’ve been thinking on going no contact with my mother (60) who I will refer to as M., for a really long time now. The communication with M. has been really seldom for maybe 8 years now and I haven’t confided in her with any problems or advice in over 15y. A little back story: I (35 F) grew up in a medium class family, private schools and university, etc. I mention this because I believe its one of the reasons making me feel guilty, as if granting food, clothes, a home and education had created “debt” I will always carry with my parents, mainly because my mother constantly made my sister and I aware of that. Dad worked long hours but he was my rock through my childhood and adolescence. He passed away, did it himself a couple years ago, but that’s a story for another post. So since I can remember my mother made me responsible of caring for my sister who is 5 years younger than me. The fact that my sister has a psychiatric condition made it a little harder i believe, thou she’s not disabled or anything (she’s one of my best friends now) it was extremely challenging to be around and/or control her as a kid/ teenager. Every time my sister would make her nervous she would call me and shout and demanded I come back or handle the situation being a kid myself.
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.
submitted by Kindly_Shift_1122 to offmychest [link] [comments]
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.
2023.06.06 23:29 EnCamp A hilarious developer diary penned by Greg Fulton, lead designer for HoMMIII, detailing NWO's final sprint to get the game published in working order at the deadline
Two weeks ago, I spoke on the phone with Tom Ono, the manual writer for Heroes of Might and Magic III. As usual, Tom asked how things were going. I said things were good... then proceeded to whine and complain for the next five minutes (much to Tom's amusement).12/05/98
When the conversation concluded, Tom said, "Don't complain too much. Some people would give their eyeteeth to be in the game industry." I responded, "Who are these people and why haven't they been beaten for their own good?"
My name is Gregory Fulton, game designer for Heroes of Might and Magic III (developed by New World Computing, published by 3DO). You may call me Greg. Like most game designers, I'm sure you'll find me a bitter and cynical man, aged beyond my years, full of sarcasm, and inexplicably drawn to the horrors of game production like a lobotomized moth to the "pretty" flame.
As I guide you through your weekly tour of my memories, I promise the recollected images will be truthful and sincere but written with a smirk and a wink.
Undoubtedly, we will interact with the following animals: artists, level builders, managers, producers, programmers, testers, and monkeys. To help ensure your safety, I request you fasten your seat belts, keep your hands to your sides at all times, and be sure to not make any quick and sudden movements. Remember... we will be passing through the game production process.
It's Saturday. I'm at work with three other members of the Heroes3 team. I'll be in again tomorrow.
Smells like "crunch time."
Everyone in the game industry knows the term "crunch time." Those not in the industry may ask, "What is crunch time?" Long hours: 10-18 each day. We're starting our fourth crunch month. We have at least one more after this.
Bad take-out food: Mexican and Chinese food are New World's favorites. Today we had Taco Bell and Domino's pizza as part of NWC's "work for food" program.
Social Life: To work in the game industry you must already have some form of social retardation. When crunch mode begins, you may only speak in code to coworkers. Immediate family and friends may be seen on brief occasions so they don't file a missing-persons report. I'm one of the lucky ones; I don't remember having any friends or family.
Hygiene: Haircuts and showers become optional in favor of more sleep time. For me, showers are a must, but my hair is sprouting wings and a tail. Pretty soon I'll look like the lead singer from Flock of Seagulls.
Stress: Anger and frustration are frequent companions. If bridges are burned, this is usually the time. Earlier this week morale was low. In a fit of anger concerning team interactions, I was heard shouting, "I feel like a kindergarten teacher. Can't everyone just keep their hands to themselves and play nice!"
Murphy's law: Any potential hazard will be encountered. I'm writing this diary from the NWC conference room. My computer refuses to function for more than five minutes without seizing up.
12/06/98
This weekend I'm taking care of my PR duties (hence this diary). Not the most exciting stuff, so I'll relate a short story from earlier this week.
David Mullich (producer), Mark Caldwell (NWC vice president and programmer), Jon Van Caneghem (NWC president, creator of all things Might and Magic, and company design visionary), and I found ourselves crowded into the sweltering office of Scott White.
Scott did all the town screens in Heroes III except the Rampart, Necropolis, and Fortress. Since he finished his 3D duties, he's turned his skills to the game's interface. Believe it or not, we were in Scott's office arguing about color: interface colors and player colors.
After much arguing about the interface colors, we decided to leave it virtually untouched. Player colors were a different subject.
Originally, we used light blue, dark blue, red, green, purple, brown, black, and white. These colors needed to change. Light blue looked like the blue used in the main menu. Brown clashed with the brown used in the general game interface. Game text disappeared against white. Black and green disappeared with the terrain colors shown on the game mini-map.
OK. We agreed some of the colors needed to change. After this, the agreements stopped. I don't know what is more ridiculous... arguing over what colors to use or the twisted logic behind the arguments. Red, blue, and dark green were safe choices. We still needed five other colors. The conversation went something like this....
"I don't want yellow. Yellow is the urine color."So it went. Fifteen minutes later everyone agreed to disagree, and Jon was made the final judge. Here are the final colors: red, blue, yellow, green, orange, purple, aqua, and rose (pink).
"What about brown?"
"I don't like brown."
"Brown is the s**t color."
"What about pink?"
"Pink is a sissy color."
"We won't call it pink. We'll call it 'rose'."
"Rose?"
"The rose player?"
"I don't know. If I saw a pink hero, I'd turn and run away. You know any hero secure enough to use pink as his color is bad ass."
"What about magenta?"
"What about cobalt? What about cadmium?"
"Have we accounted for all the fecal colors?"
"What about orange?"
"Phelan (our art lead) doesn't like orange. It looks bad."
"So. I don't think it looks bad."
"Fine. You tell her you want orange."
"She'll kick your ass."
"Oh. Fine. We won't use orange."
12/07/98
Today we stopped all map production. From here until we ship, I join the mapmakers and testers in playing maps and writing bugs... or so I thought.
Today, I had dropped into my lap the assignment of converting the 144-plus pages of the game manual into a help file. Anyone who has written a help file knows how huge this task can be. I could probably finish it in a day, but it requires no one bothering me for an extended period of time. Ha!
At this late stage of the production cycle, my entire day is spent meeting with people, making sure people are doing their work, and confirming that what is being done is correct. I don't have time for work. I've made the ugly evolution from game designer to middle manager.
It wasn't like this at the beginning of the project. At the beginning of the project the game designer is the screaming prophet, lost and alone in the desert (or the design process if you prefer).
In the middle of the production process the prophet is being screamed at by all his fellow coworkers who are wondering what to do because the design doc is behind schedule.
At the end of the project, everyone's a screaming prophet, and everyone is screaming at everyone else.
Sometime in the middle of all this screaming I've got to write this help file. Maybe I could give the assignment to Christian Vanover (H3 assistant director). Isn't it the job of a middle manager to delegate?
12/08/98
Yesterday I was wondering where I would find the time to write the game help file. Today I have the answer.... I think I have the flu. This doesn't feel like any 24-hour "see-ya-bye" flu either. This feels like "kneel before Zod!" flu.
All right. I've got a story for you.
Earlier today we "officially" stopped making maps. From here on out, we play, test, and polish the game. This could mean a little, or a lot. If the maps play well the first time out, revisions will be minor. If we end up chucking whole maps, we may find ourselves back to making maps. Thus, we started playing them today. JVC (Jon Van Caneghem, New World's president) ended up playing a notorious map named "Barbarian Breakout."
Ten minutes after he starts, JVC pages me over my phone intercom: "Hey Yoda." (He's been calling me Yoda lately. I don't know why. I'm not sure if I should be honored or offended. On one hand, Yoda is wise and he trains Jedi Knights. On the other hand, he is a short ugly green dude with big ears.) "Enemy hero with six behemoths (one of the highest-level creatures) knocked on my front door on week two, day one."
"Oops. I'll be right there."
As soon as I walked into JVC's office, the razzing began.
"What's with the six behemoths? Is this one of the balanced scenarios?"
"OK, OK. Something's wrong. Turn off the fog."
Jon restarts the scenario, turns off the fog of war, ends turn four times in a row, then right-clicks the enemy hero to see the extent of his forces. Aside from his other three stacks of creatures... he has one stack of six behemoths. Oops.
"All right. Open the map in the editor."
Jon opens the map in the editor. What do we discover? First, the enemy hero starts at level three, and the mapmaker (Dave Botan) has given him four stacks of creatures. In addition, the enemy hero's starting town has three of seven creature generators already prebuilt.
No wonder the enemy was able to recruit behemoths on day four.
Remember the story about the father who comes home from a bad day at work and yells at his wife? She in turn yells at her kid. The kid in turn kicks the dog.
At this point, I'm looking for a dog to kick. So, I hunt down Dave Botan. Immediately, Dave states his defense.
"Everyone says the map's too hard. It isn't. The AI's cheating." (Recently, we discovered the artificial intelligence was exploiting an undiscovered bug allowing it to recruit more creatures than were actually available.)
"The AI doesn't need to cheat. It's already got a huge advantage."
"There's a bug."
"Doesn't matter. Set all players to normal starting conditions."
At this point everyone begins to playfully dog-pile on Dave telling all the reasons why his maps suck. In the end he relented and fixed the map.
12/09/98
I'm not writing from work today. I'm writing from home. I have seven-way-straight-from-the-bottom-of-the-Amazon-flu.
With this kind of flu the logical course of action would be to rest, drink lots of fluids, watch lots of movies, maybe see a doctor. However, I am a game designer and unfamiliar with the ways of logic. A day at home with the flu means I have the opportunity to finish the H3 help file.
Wow.
How pathetic can you get? On my day off to rest and get better, I use the uninterrupted time to convert a 144+ page manual into a help file.
I should get sick more often. I get more work done.
12/10/98
I'm back at work today. Good news... I finished the help file. Bad news... I still have the flu, and because I was so efficient in writing the game help file... I've been given the task of writing the map editor help file. Oh yeah, finish it by Monday.
Monday? There's so much pressure in my head, when I sniff, my eyes want to flee their sockets. My voice has the auditory consistency of sandpaper. Monday? Sure, I'll have it done by Monday.
12/11/98
Well, it's Friday night, and I have yet to see Star Trek: Insurrection. Doubt I'll be seeing it anytime soon.
One of the unmentioned symptoms of crunch time is cultural unawareness. In my time at a previous company I almost missed the entire O.J. trial. I haven't seen a movie since Starship Troopers. I'm not kidding.
12/14/98
I shouldn't have come in to work Thursday and Friday. It really pushed me over the edge. For the past two days I've been laid up with fever and chills. Remarkably, it was the one thing to take my mind off work. Aside from a froggy throat, it seems to have passed.
Enough about my illness. From here on, assume I'm always ill with the flu.
12/15/98
Today NWC (New World Computing) took a brief pause from game development to listen to Trip Hawkins (president of 3DO, NWC's parent company).
Twice a year, Trip makes a formal visit to talk about the company and where we're going as a company. It's a nice break from things.
However, Trip wasn't half as exciting as David Richie (our tools programmer) who sat next to me. Turns out David is coming down with the flu.
Over the course of the meeting, the air conditioning didn't turn on. With over 50 people crammed into a room, it got hot very fast. As the minutes passed, I could see David slowly whither.
I thought he was going to vomit. So basically, for most of the meeting, I sat envisioning how I was going to get out of the way when the volcano erupted.
Luckily, the volcano did not erupt. David left in the middle of the lecture and I haven't seen him since.
12/17/98
Welcome to the end of another working day at NWC. There is still no sign of David Richey. Another one of our programmers, John Krause, called in sick today. David Mullich (the Heroes III director) was ready to take bets on who would call in sick next. Of course, everyone blames me for getting them ill.
As far as your average NWC workday goes, this one was hectic and full of revelation.
Revelation?
Yes. Revelation. Only today did I look at my calendar and realize Christmas was next Friday.
Hectic?
Yes. Hectic. Every now and then I need to wipe my desk clean. This means catching up on all the hand-scrolled notes and stray post-its littered about my desk. When my desk is clean, I'm caught up.
This very act of cleaning makes for a semi-chaotic day. There is much gear shifting and subject changing to close dangling issues.
Add to this my usual parade of visitors, and my first chance to test multiplayer, and it takes great effort to avoid turning into a screaming monkey. Yes, I said screaming monkey.
Frequently, I find myself held hostage in my own office as a line of visitors (testers, programmers, artists, producers, etc.) quickly assemble outside my office in a short period of time, all wanting a piece of my brain.
Today it happened to occur while I was in the middle of a multiplayer game with Jeff Leggett (H3 multiplayer programmer). Simultaneously, I had three people show up and cram themselves into my small office. Each began jockeying for position to ask a question. Meanwhile, Jeff waited on the phone intercom, with Heroes III continually chiming in the background, letting me know it was my turn to play.
At this point you may apply the screaming monkey metaphor.
Despite the great potential for chaos, I asked Jeff to wait, gave my three suitors a number, told them to wait in line, then answered each of their questions.
On the surface, everything looked under control. Little did these poor souls know there was a screaming monkey, trapped in my mind's steel cage, wildly thrashing about in a desperate attempt to escape and turn me into a volcano of anger and lunacy.
When it was over, I took a deep breath, noted the walls weren't sprayed with the blood of innocent coworkers, and returned to my multiplayer game with Jeff.
Heroes II multiplayer wasn't friendly in the least. When it wasn't your turn, all you could do was sit at the computer and stare at the screen like a moron.
Well, thanks to our wonderful network programmer, Jeff Leggett, a moron you will no longer be.
Jeff has finished implementing multiplayer support. Now we're on a bug hunt. So, today, Jeff and I played a multiplayer game in the background while we went about our work.
I must admit, I had a blast. Moments like this make me forget my job is serious work.
12/18/98 Friday
Today I actually managed to catch up on all my notes. Next up, International Translation Kit. It can wait until Sunday. I don't get to enjoy these moments of accomplishment very often.
Being a game designer is nothing more than a life of delayed gratification. You spend the first month of the project "being creative," then spend the next 17 as a bricklayer implementing low-level details and boot-strapping the game design when unforeseen consequences arise.
Tomorrow we have our annual company Christmas party. I won't be going. I see my coworkers every day at work. I don't want to see them in a social environment. It'd be too weird. They'd have, like, spouses and dates and stuff, and wear dress clothes.
We've been told we can dress formal or casual. To me this means torn jeans and a food-stained white T-shirt. To everyone else, this means dress formal, because no one wants to underdress.
I don't want to see any of my coworkers dressed up. The thought frightens me. We're a bunch of geeks. We don't look good in casual wear. Formal wear will only amplify our geekiness.
Only one thing could entice me to go to the Christmas party - seeing the wives go off on the management for working their husbands so hard. I'd pay to see that... provided I wasn't on the receiving end.
By the way... hello to Chris Cross and Brian Reed, two friends I made when I briefly worked at Dreamworks Interactive (I didn't work on Trespasser). They called me today. They'd read the first entry in the Designer Diary and called to tell me what they thought. They then tied me up on the phone for the next 30 minutes while simultaneously sending me e-mail with bizarre and obscene attachments.
01/02/99 Saturday
Well, I'm back at work. The Christmas break was needed. I spent the first three days drinking eggnog, sleeping in 12- and 16-hour shifts, and watching Clinton get impeached.
After I was well rested, the eggnog was all gone, and Clintion was impeached, I did what any game design loser would do... worked on the game while on vacation. Ugh. I'm so pathetic.
My initial goal was to play existing maps. After playing five maps, it was obvious the AI hadn't been fully tested. It tended to sit back and never struck out until it had enough forces to guarantee a win.
This made for very extreme game experiences. Either you never saw the AI, or it came storming out of nowhere, knocked on your door, and politely introduced itself as your doom.
When our AI programmer (Gus Smedstad) gets back from vacation, I'll need to share my findings with him.
Well, seeing as I couldn't really play the game, I turned my attention to our 144-page game manual... much to my horror.
It turns out our second draft of the manual was full of errors. So, with red pen in hand, I promoted myself from game designer to fact checker. Over the next three days, I proceeded to bloody the pages of our beautiful manual.
To say it was tedious would be an understatement. When it was all over, I couldn't read anything if it wasn't written in fine print.
01/04/99 Monday
Today was another screaming monkey day. Why? One word: programmers.
I won't say who, but one of our programmers came into my office and proceeded to yell at me over a feature request he'd been given to program.
Why was he yelling at me? On the surface, it was because I hadn't given him enough details, or I hadn't thought through its impact enough. Or it could have been because it was simply a stupid feature, I didn't know what I was doing, and I was ruining the game.
The real reason? He wasn't sure how to program the task he'd been given, and the specified time frame was short. Instead of calming down, thinking it through, and telling me whether it could or could not be done in the given time frame, he panicked, and chose to vent at me.
Programmers are a unique breed. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Some of my best friends are programmers.
I must admit I am fascinated. I've watched each of our team programmers code. It's very amusing. How they code gives me a unique insight to their personality. For instance...
John Bolton (lead programmer): When John programs, it looks like he's playing chess.Now take such individuals and do the unthinkable... Make them into a team. Worse yet, force them to have meetings in which they must interact on a social level and agree to work together. Worse yet, force them to interact with right-brained artists and game designers.
David Richey (tools programmer): David doesn't code. Beforehand, he thinks about his task in depth, like contemplating philosophy, then simply writes it up. Quite often you can look through David's office window and see him bent over in his chair, chin on fist, like The Thinker.
Mark Caldwell (NWC VP): You need to know Mark to really understand, but when Mark codes, it's like he's in a boxing ring, ducking shots, trading blows, and trash talking with the program.
It's a wonder any games ever get made.
Join designer Greg Fulton as gives us his very last Designer Diary entry, which tracks the last days of Heroes of Might and Magic III. In these last few days, the team waited anxiously to approve the gold candidate. But there is no rest for Greg, as he mentions a little something about the expansion disc. Join us as we count down the final development of Heroes III.
01/07/99
Ever heard the phrase "thousand tile stare"?
It's a phrase used by our mapmakers. You get the thousand tile stare from making H3 maps all day long.
Today I got the thousand tile stare after making a map for our eventual game demo.
It's a very simple, small map, letting players experience a portion of the game. Hopefully they'll experience enough and feel compelled to buy the game. I've been calling the map "Dead and Buried."
When I finished, I gave it to Chris Vanover (H3 assistant director) to play. Chris is an expert Heroes player. He's a good gauge of the map's difficulty.
Watching Chris play was a lot of fun. It allowed me to take a break from work and finally see the game in action. However, I am the worst person to have over your shoulder when you play.
Why? I'm a backseat driver. It's a bad habit from playing console games with friends.
Thus, I watched Chris play and second-guessed him all the way. We were like two old men spitting and complaining about the best strategy as Chris clicked his way through the game. It was rather humorous.
01/08/99
Today I gave the Dead and Buried map to a few select people to see if anyone could beat it in the allotted time frame of four game weeks.
One of my candidates was Jen Bullard. Jen is the only female tester in the QA area.
Upon entering the test area, I found Jennifer burning a candle at her desk. She wasn't afraid to comment aloud how everyone else in the test area doesn't wash their clothes often enough. She thinks they stink.
No sooner did I sit down to watch Jen play than the verbal bantering between the testers began.
Ryan Den, another one of our testers, was sure he found a bug and asked aloud if anyone had encountered the same bug. No one had. Immediately everyone began shouting "user error." Ryan thought they were all high... until he realized it was user error. Everyone then proceeded to playfully tear into Ryan yet again.
I must admit, our testers are pretty cool. Their interactions are quite amusing. They banter with the voracity of a knife fight, but it's rarely cruel.
01/14/99
Last night was my last chance to revise the game manual. Thus, I decided to pull an all-nighter to finish it. This was my first time being at NWC so late. I also experienced something completely new.
I had been drinking many free Cokes when my bladder reminded me who was really in charge. Without hesitation, I raced to the bathroom. I opened the door. It was dark. This is not unusual. The lights are hooked up to a motion sensor. To save energy, they turn on and off based on the presence of a moving body. Confident the lights would turn on, I strode into the bathroom.
The lights did not illuminate.
Fumbling around in the dark, I was able to find the light switch and flip it on.
Nothing.
Fumbling around some more, I found the door handle and exited the bathroom.
Moving quickly to Mark Caldwell's office (Mark and George were also working late), I told him, "The bathroom lights won't turn on." He said, "Yeah. The bathroom lights don't turn on after midnight." I asked, "How do you go to the bathroom with the lights off?" He answered, "Usually I just feel my way to the urinal."
"I need to take a crap."
"Hey, I wouldn't know anything about that. Get the flashlight from George."
"I need a flashlight?"
"Yeah."
So, I walked to George's office.
"I need the bathroom flashlight."
Giggling to himself under his breath, George reached into his desk and gave me a pocket flashlight. With flashlight in hand I returned to the bathroom where everything went according to plan.
I know game production has its odd moments, but... this one was really odd.
01/18/99
In the last days of a game's production, the game designer makes a desperate attempt to prevent features from being cut to make the deadline. However, if I got all the features I wanted, the game would never ship. Thus, there is always a tug of war between the game designer, management, programmers, and artists, to decide what gets into the game and what gets pushed back to the expansion or sequel.
Today I was doing my best to get a new hero into the game without too much additional programming or art. I realized I could get the results I needed by simply adding a new graphic and customizing an existing game hero. Even better, I could get the graphic from existing art in the intro movie. All the artist had to do was crop a freeze-frame from the movie and give it to our asset manager to be put into the game. I could customize the hero in the editor. All the programmers had to do was recognize the character's unique identification.
Well, we did.
I wonder how much longer I can push my luck.
01/19/99
I have become the Walmart floor manager.
No. I haven't quit my job.
Let me explain.
At this stage in the making of the game, I find myself spending most of my time walking the halls with my Notepad of Oppression waiting for people to call out my name.
The notepad is a list of issues needing resolution. Most people find the notepad humorous unless their name is on it. Ironically, I end up putting my name on the notepad more than anyone else's (I'm oppressing myself).
Regardless, when I am walking the halls and someone calls out my name, I duck into their office to answer their questions. Sometimes this means getting on their phone and calling someone else to clear up an issue. If I don't have the answer, I'm the intermediary.
Thus, I feel like the Walmart floor manager, roaming the isles, taking care of arising issues. All I really need is the blue vest.
01/20/99
For a moment, consider most game manuals. Usually, a manual details the game interface and introduces you to the various game elements. Rarely do these manuals give you true game statistics.
For Heroes III , we wanted to buck this trend. Using the Heroes II strategy guide as a model, we decided to make a big manual loaded with information. This is exactly what we did - 144 pages.
Today we signed off on the manual. Well, no sooner did the ink dry than we discovered some errors. It was terrifying. I literally sat at my desk, looking at the errors I had discovered, and heard the manual mocking me with the chittering of a wild hyena.
There was nothing I could do. It was carved in stone. Now understand, most manuals ship with some errors. This is what the Readme is for. However, several people had gone over this manual time and again, and still there were errors.
I'll never make a big manual again. It's too much upkeep considering the fluidity of game design.
I'm sure I'll lose some sleep over this.
1/25/99
Today the Coke machine caught fire.
Let me repeat this.
Today the Coke machine caught fire.
Since we started crunching, around 7:00pm each night, Mark Caldwell (NWC VP) has been unlocking the Coke machine for free drinks to go with our evening meal. We don't continue pressing the selection buttons for the various drinks. Instead, we literally open up the front half of this big, red, half-ton refrigerator, made to withstand the assaults of the most juvenile of delinquents.
Now, I'm not exactly clear on the details, but one of the testers pulled open the front door to grab a soda from inside. Apparently, some of the electrical wires were sheared, followed by fire and smoke.
Upon seeing the fire and smelling the smoke, the tester grabbed Ben Bent (NWC office manager and part-time game director). He then pointed out the fire in the Coke machine.
With perfect calm, Ben simply unplugged the Coke machine. Poof. The fire went away.
I must admit, I can't help but see the fire in the Coke machine as a metaphor for Heroes III in production. A fire starts, someone panics, and someone else calmly solves the problem.
Truthfully, it's the story of the game production process.
2/07/99 Sunday
Today could be the day.
We've decided to make a "final candidate" CD-ROM for 3DO approval. A final candidate is what we consider "ready to ship." We then send the final candidate to 3DO for them to do shrink-wrap testing.
Tonight, no one leaves the building until the game is finished.
2/08/99 Monday
It's 5:00am Monday morning.
We just started burning the final candidate.
About half the team is still here.
We've been crunching too long. Everyone's burnt.
About 15 minutes ago, Mark starting broadcasting Money For Nothing over everyone's speakerphone.
Ironic.
02/13/99
I am literally weak-kneed. Except for writing this entry, all I intend to do is just sit in my office chair and do everything I possibly can to do nothing.
As of 8:30 Saturday, February 13, we're calling it good Barring last-second crash bugs, the game is done.
It's 9:30, and with the realization the game is done, already I'm beginning to crash.
After crunching for so long, the crash is the aftereffect. This is the time when you finally realize you can relax and return to a somewhat normal life. This is also the flag signaling the release of all the pent-up stress and illness you've been holding off by sheer will for the past six months. Thus... crash.
Wow.
We're done.
02/14/99
Four days after announcing Heroes has gone gold, we're already talking about the expansion pack. Already, I've assembled my map makers. They're good people. With H3 under their belts they should make even better maps for the expansion.
The downside? Chris Vanover is moving onto a different project. Technically Chris was H3's assistant director, but I adopted him as my assistant designer. He was a big help in many of the grunt areas. I was hoping to hand the expansion off to Chris so I could concentrate on the next Heroes.
No such luck.
Ultimately, this means vacation must wait.
(whimper)
Where is a monkey boy when you need one?
02/19/99
David Mullich's (Heroes III director) wife was pregnant and expecting about the same time as E3 last year (Atlanta '98). So, he couldn't go and demonstrate the game.
I was the next logical choice. I know the game better than anyone else, and when needed, I can turn on the charm.
Now don't get me wrong, when I have demoed the game, it has been a delight. Yet, as a game, Heroes III doesn't demo well. It's a turn-based game. It's not a first-person shooter or real-time strategy game. There's no real immediate reward for your attention span to latch onto.
However, Heroes does have a very large, very dedicated following. Thus, most people who want to see Heroes are already fans. This was the case at E3.
At E3 I did the vast majority of the presentations. I did so many I ended up losing my voice. Almost all the people who saw the game were fans of Heroes and liked what they saw. We were so successful, people were taking chairs from the other game stations to sit in front of ours.
Well, the downside to my work at E3 was... I became the demo guy. The downside of being the demo guy is traveling.
I hate traveling.
Once I arrive at my destination, there's no problem. I'm just impatient by nature. I'm also 6'1" and hate sitting in supercramped airline seats.
So, today I got to fly up to 3DO with Peter Ryu (MM7 producer), Keith Francart (MM7 director), and Jeff Blatner (new Heroes producer) to give presentations on MM7 and Heroes III to our Ubi Soft partners and a smattering of European journalists.
As much as I hated getting up at 5:30am and traveling to San Francisco (less than one week after going gold), the trip was amusing for a number of reasons.
Since I have been at New World, Peter Ryu has always worn shorts and sandals. For the presentation, Pete was ordered to wear pants and shoes. Throughout the day, he was wincing as the shoes rubbed his feet raw.
The other amusing part was hanging out with the French chicks from Ubi Soft and the European press.
Last time I was at 3DO I did an H3 presentation to a number of European journalists. Not a French woman among them. It was different this time, and dare I say, worth the trip.
02/22/99
David Mullich (H3 director), George Ruof (H3 programmer), and I are the only members of the team in the building today. Everyone else is on vacation.
Over the weekend I began my self-rehabilitation for returning to the real world.
When you do nothing but work 12-14 hours a day, seven days a week, and then it all comes to an abrupt halt, you suddenly find you have all this spare time on your hands.
Ultimately, you become bored. You don't know what to do with yourself because your "normal" situation meant working on the game... but the game is finished. Normal has become different and no longer normal.
A logical assumption for curing this boredom would be a vacation. Not yet. I've got to write the design for the expansion disc. I've got two weeks before it is due. After hammering out the specs, everyone will be briefed, then I can go on vacation.
I've got it all planned out. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas of 1997. So, I'm going to go back home and sit in the rocking chair in front of my dad's big-screen TV and watch nothing but cable television for at least two weeks. You heard me. Nothing but CNN Headline News for two weeks. If by then I'm not properly vegetated, I'll watch it for another week. Then I'll track down my old high school girlfriend and see if she's still single.
I've set up an e-mail address for your feedback about the game when it hits the shelves. This e-mail is merely for player feedback and suggestions. I will be the one reading the e-mails, and most likely, I won't be answering any of them. So, don't flame me if I don't respond. [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).
I've enjoyed writing these diaries. I wish I had been able to dedicate more time to them.
My apologies to Elliott Chin (who made these diaries possible). Elliott wanted me to talk about the design philosophy behind H3. After practicing design philosophy 12-14 hours a day, I couldn't bring myself to write a diary about it. So, I thought I'd do "a day in the life." I hope you enjoyed my tongue-in-cheek account.
I leave you with the following words I once heard the great Jon Van Caneghem speak, "When it's all over you'll forget how hard it was and do it all over again."
He's right. We will.
2023.06.06 23:26 Kindly_Shift_1122 Should I go NC with my mom after all she did?
I´ve been thinking about posting this for a while now. Throwaway account for reasons you will come to understand quite clearly. It’s gonna be a long one so pls bear with me, this is the story (history) of one of the most painful parts of my life and I could really use some help. I’ve been thinking on going no contact with my mother (60) who I will refer to as M., for a really long time now. The communication with M. has been really seldom for maybe 8 years now and I haven’t confided in her with any problems or advice in over 15y. A little back story: I (35 F) grew up in a medium class family, private schools and university, etc. I mention this because I believe its one of the reasons making me feel guilty, as if granting food, clothes, a home and education had created “debt” I will always carry with my parents, mainly because my mother constantly made my sister and I aware of that. Dad worked long hours but he was my rock through my childhood and adolescence. He passed away, did it himself a couple years ago, but that’s a story for another post. So since I can remember my mother made me responsible of caring for my sister who is 5 years younger than me. The fact that my sister has a psychiatric condition made it a little harder i believe, thou she’s not disabled or anything (she’s one of my best friends now) it was extremely challenging to be around and/or control her as a kid/ teenager. Every time my sister would make her nervous she would call me and shout and demanded I come back or handle the situation being a kid myself.
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.
submitted by Kindly_Shift_1122 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.
2023.06.06 23:24 Kindly_Shift_1122 Should I go NC with my mom after all she did?
I´ve been thinking about posting this for a while now. Throwaway account for reasons you will come to understand quite clearly. It’s gonna be a long one so pls bear with me, this is the story (history) of one of the most painful parts of my life and I could really use some help. I’ve been thinking on going no contact with my mother (60) who I will refer to as M., for a really long time now. The communication with M. has been really seldom for maybe 8 years now and I haven’t confided in her with any problems or advice in over 15y. A little back story: I (35 F) grew up in a medium class family, private schools and university, etc. I mention this because I believe its one of the reasons making me feel guilty, as if granting food, clothes, a home and education had created “debt” I will always carry with my parents, mainly because my mother constantly made my sister and I aware of that. Dad worked long hours but he was my rock through my childhood and adolescence. He passed away, did it himself a couple years ago, but that’s a story for another post. So since I can remember my mother made me responsible of caring for my sister who is 5 years younger than me. The fact that my sister has a psychiatric condition made it a little harder i believe, thou she’s not disabled or anything (she’s one of my best friends now) it was extremely challenging to be around and/or control her as a kid/ teenager. Every time my sister would make her nervous she would call me and shout and demanded I come back or handle the situation being a kid myself.
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.
submitted by Kindly_Shift_1122 to u/Kindly_Shift_1122 [link] [comments]
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.
2023.06.06 23:01 The_Loli_Otaku [Rewatch] Ueno-san wa Bukiyou Weekly Reminder!!
How Clumsy you are, Miss Ueno!!
Synopsis:
"Ueno-san, you're cringe"
As the head of her middle school's science club, it's only fitting that Ueno is also a brilliant inventor. With devices that can convert any liquid into drinkable water, deodorize the most foul smells, or even generate dark matter to be used as a means of concealment, it seems like nothing is beyond Ueno's capabilities. However, she doesn't invent these devices for the advancement of mankind. Rather, the one force that motivates her is love, the only phenomenon she can't quite figure out.
Ueno is head over heels for Tanaka, her nonchalant fellow club member. Yet, because she is too nervous to confess her love and he is too oblivious to notice her affection, her love life is completely stagnant. In Ueno's mind, if she could just expose him to perverted situations, then surely he'd get flustered and fall for her, right? Assisted by her stone-faced classmate and dedicated wingwoman Yamashita, Ueno employs her many inventions on Tanaka in a lewd manner in hopes that he may one day understand how she feels.
Ueno itself ran from 2015 to 2022 and got itself a neat little 15 minute comedy skit anime in 2019, which is what we'll be watching this month. It's not long, pretty comfy, and will be loaded with more questionable content than you can shake a phallic looking stick at. The anime came from our friends as Lesprit, famous for some weird capybara anime? and the director, Tomohiro Tsukimisato, did... rockman? He worked on one of the Battle Network anime and on Kirakira Kirari. And Tanuki to Kitsune.
It stars Yu Serizawa who everyone here loves as Shera from Demon Lord, as Ueno and features Miku Ito singing our banger op! There is also an English dub available but I'm sure my rewatchers are too cultured to watch a dub, RIGHT!? It has a nice cast tho. Hillary Haig as Ueno, Monika Rial as Yamashita. It also has "Patty Cakes" playing Mizuna. There's no way that's right? XD
So, if I haven't convinced you to watch Ueno yet then please sample a couple extra cultured clips that will explain the show better than looking at its iffy cast history~ We have a highlight clip from Nekomanscer lovingly referring to Ueno as The Pee Drinking Anime. The phone charging scene~ And of course the tights smelling scene. We've got so much more! Aaand this is my birthday rewatch so you're all obligated to come~ 12 episodes, 15 minute runtime, lifetime of trauma! Let's fucking gooo!
The series is available to steam on HiDive, Crunchyroll, and I think a lot of them are on YouTube right now too!
Abyssbringer's "What is the thematic purpose of this scene corner!!"
In this section I will be posting a preview pic of the following episode. Your challenge is to dedicate a small write up about the "thematic" purpose of said scene~ The best submission will get a dedicated spot in our patented Abyssbringer's "What is the thematic purpose of this scene winner's corner!!"
So to be clear, check the preview that I will be posting each day, be sure to write an extra addidum or quip filled monologue about that particular scene/screenshot, and include it in your post! For examples please check out Ichigo Mashimaro and Kodomo no Jikan or Kunoichi Tsubaki! Just to be clear this section is made for a bit of fun. If you don't understand it, please check with me and I'll explain it further. I'm gonna make this a thing if its the last thing I do!!
As an example, here is an essay written by our beloved AriaShachou- on what his life would be like with Alice Carroll as his hypothetical mother~
Index Thread [24H Reminder]()
submitted by The_Loli_Otaku to anime [link] [comments]
Extra Info and Links
ANN MAL Anilist Wikipedia Crunchyroll"Ueno-san, you're cringe"
As the head of her middle school's science club, it's only fitting that Ueno is also a brilliant inventor. With devices that can convert any liquid into drinkable water, deodorize the most foul smells, or even generate dark matter to be used as a means of concealment, it seems like nothing is beyond Ueno's capabilities. However, she doesn't invent these devices for the advancement of mankind. Rather, the one force that motivates her is love, the only phenomenon she can't quite figure out.
Ueno is head over heels for Tanaka, her nonchalant fellow club member. Yet, because she is too nervous to confess her love and he is too oblivious to notice her affection, her love life is completely stagnant. In Ueno's mind, if she could just expose him to perverted situations, then surely he'd get flustered and fall for her, right? Assisted by her stone-faced classmate and dedicated wingwoman Yamashita, Ueno employs her many inventions on Tanaka in a lewd manner in hopes that he may one day understand how she feels.
Why should you watch it?
I mean, isn't the answer obvious? How Clumsy you are, Miss Ueno is a ten volume manga from Tugeneko, a 4koma specialist who has a history of slice of life comedies in Care to Caret and Swim Team, the slice of life about girls going about their day to day lives in swimsuits. Anyway, the bloke has a history of questionably lewd comedies and that's right up our Rewatch Group's tastes! This one is even heavily inspired by Doraemon. We all grew up with Doraemon right?Ueno itself ran from 2015 to 2022 and got itself a neat little 15 minute comedy skit anime in 2019, which is what we'll be watching this month. It's not long, pretty comfy, and will be loaded with more questionable content than you can shake a phallic looking stick at. The anime came from our friends as Lesprit, famous for some weird capybara anime? and the director, Tomohiro Tsukimisato, did... rockman? He worked on one of the Battle Network anime and on Kirakira Kirari. And Tanuki to Kitsune.
It stars Yu Serizawa who everyone here loves as Shera from Demon Lord, as Ueno and features Miku Ito singing our banger op! There is also an English dub available but I'm sure my rewatchers are too cultured to watch a dub, RIGHT!? It has a nice cast tho. Hillary Haig as Ueno, Monika Rial as Yamashita. It also has "Patty Cakes" playing Mizuna. There's no way that's right? XD
So, if I haven't convinced you to watch Ueno yet then please sample a couple extra cultured clips that will explain the show better than looking at its iffy cast history~ We have a highlight clip from Nekomanscer lovingly referring to Ueno as The Pee Drinking Anime. The phone charging scene~ And of course the tights smelling scene. We've got so much more! Aaand this is my birthday rewatch so you're all obligated to come~ 12 episodes, 15 minute runtime, lifetime of trauma! Let's fucking gooo!
The series is available to steam on HiDive, Crunchyroll, and I think a lot of them are on YouTube right now too!
Fun Stuff
Simple and clean!! We've got our normal Questions of the Day, although I may cut down the number depending on how much actually happens each episode. We will have Comments of the Day!! I'll be stealing highlights from whoever leaves the most interesting insights day to day. I only accept comments coming from watchers who have replied to three other rewatchers however!! Don't be shy, we're all in the same boat here. I also have one final section... that will more than likely flop again but I'm gonna beat this dead horse until it works!Abyssbringer's "What is the thematic purpose of this scene corner!!"
In this section I will be posting a preview pic of the following episode. Your challenge is to dedicate a small write up about the "thematic" purpose of said scene~ The best submission will get a dedicated spot in our patented Abyssbringer's "What is the thematic purpose of this scene winner's corner!!"
So to be clear, check the preview that I will be posting each day, be sure to write an extra addidum or quip filled monologue about that particular scene/screenshot, and include it in your post! For examples please check out Ichigo Mashimaro and Kodomo no Jikan or Kunoichi Tsubaki! Just to be clear this section is made for a bit of fun. If you don't understand it, please check with me and I'll explain it further. I'm gonna make this a thing if its the last thing I do!!
As an example, here is an essay written by our beloved AriaShachou- on what his life would be like with Alice Carroll as his hypothetical mother~
She matures a lot mentally throughout the series (where she was literally like a highschooler I think) all the way to the movies where shes a full-fledged adult.Ah, ignore that last part. I definitely do not condone blackmail for any reason!
So I guess if we were to follow that pace of maturity, which I'd assume is reasonable given the people she is surrounded with, until this hypothetical scenario where I am now her child... then I'd like to think I'd probably be fine for the most part but there would still be some problems along the way.
Maybe I'd develop weird because she wouldn't know how to express herself properly to her own child, which would make me feel bad. Then like I said she'd probably force me into piano thinking its what's best for me but then I'd hate it and it would cause a rift in our
wait a fucking minute you've been subtly pushing me into fantasizing about alice being my mother, what the fuck i was genuinely about to write a whole ass essay until i realised what you were doing
Dates, times and plans
I plan for the rewatch to begin on Wednesday the 14th of June at 22:00 UTC, 17:00 EST 16:00 CST, 15:00 MST, 14:00 PST So 10pm UK time. We will be doing one episode per day with a series discussion to wrap up.Quick alert people! Due to the possibility of the anime blackout I'm gonna be delaying the watch by one extra day. Sorry I didn't plan this out beforehand, I'd only just heard about it. So be sure to take note that all threads are going to be pushed forward one day!
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2023.06.06 21:47 BinkusTheTrinkus I tried to unsubscribe to Firestone's emails, but the page it took me to was super buggy and allowed me to edit the text. Naturally, this is what I chose to do
submitted by BinkusTheTrinkus to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 20:33 bOreDaSf6966 Pantaloni
Buna! Disperarea pe care am simtit o astazi in cabina de proba m a adus pe acest subreddit. Imi e extraordinar de greu sa gasesc blugi care sa mi vina bine. Am picioarele groase si talia subtire, motiv pentru care orice imi e bun pe picioare e extraordinar de mare in zona burtii. Singura mea speranta era C&A, de unde imi luam un singur model care se potrivea perfect dar azi am vazut ca a disparut complet. Orice fel de sugestie de magazin care vinde asa ceva m ar ajuta enorm- I know I'm not the only one struggling with this. Help a sister out )):
submitted by bOreDaSf6966 to WomenRO [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 20:20 igorekk handpicked for Berlin in May (mostly startups/career related)
After skipping April, here are some inspiration snippets from Berlin, Germany and wider. Career and other cool insights. Here is March.
submitted by igorekk to berlin [link] [comments]
Week of 1st (May)
- 🤔 Do you know any shortcuts/tips/tricks on how to get an appointment at Ausländerbehörde? If so, please share in the comments or drop me an email. Thank you so much!
- 🚃 Lost something on public transport? Here is the website to deal with it. It will be sold at an auction if you do not pick it up in 6 weeks. These are done quarterly, and see you at Auktionshaus Beier in July because I need some AirPods.
- 🚗 Germany is extremely dependent on the automotive industry and their exports. Don’t quote me on that, but the big ones make roughly 1/3 of their revenues in China. Now, look at these charts and think: What sets modern cars apart? What does it mean for Germany? Soon, the brand will be the only differentiator.
- 🙌 Pragmatic Engineer (Gergely Orosz) gave me a nice shoutout tweet. A must-follow if you are interested in tech/engineering. One of my recent favourites is this interview with Steve Yegge, which is full of interesting insights.
- 🤖 If you are like me, you maybe feel worried that your ChatGPT prompt game is weak (especially after reading all those "prompt influencers" milking the trend on the bird app). A while ago, I even linked to a “Prompt Engineer” as a future profession. But according to Ethan Mollick's Guide to Prompting, we do not have much to worry about. In a nutshell: just try things out and then repeat.
- 📦 eBay-Kleinanzeigen, one of the best German websites (😅) with 40M monthly users, will finally rename to Kleinanzeigen on 16.5 after being sold to Norwegian classifieds specialist Adevinta in 2021. Most of it will stay the same; I am delighted my “Top Zufriedenheit” status will also be migrated.
- 😔 Bad news: N26 is laying off 71 (4%), Knister Grill (Munich) insolvent; Flink shrank for 8k (down from 21k!) employees since April 2022.
- berlin choice of the week: activists vandalized a few luxury shops on K’damm, and of course, the commentariat delivered again on all sides of the spectrum. Also, BVG has a new type of tram that looks like a car. 😅
- ✈️ This week I learned that BER Terminals 1 and 2 are connected. You can use any security control to access gates at both terminals.
- 💬 Briefly: SellerX (Berlin) is rumoured to be in a sale process; HelloFresh and Delivery Hero are, unsurprisingly, growing slower: check their Investor Relations pages for details and take it with a pinch of salt; Bosch plans to purchase TSI Semiconductors' assets for $1.5 billion to enhance its semiconductor business with silicon carbide chips; Finn (Munich) CEO Max-Josef Meier resigned after harassing several female colleagues on a company event.
Week of 8th (May)
- 🚂 If you have decided to take on €49 ticket, Exberliner prepared a nice list of suggestions for excursions from Berlin. Worth a save!
- 🤑 Here is a summary of research on money and happiness. I like Nick’s conclusion: Increased income is associated with greater happiness for lower-income individuals. For high-income, unhappy individuals, further income is unlikely to increase happiness. For high-income, happy individuals, while more income could enhance happiness, the effort required may not be worth it.
- 😔 Bad news: CleverShuttle (Berlin) insolvent; Shopify 20% of employees (most of German org).
- berlin choice of the week is an interesting Reddit AMA from an U-Bahn driver from a year ago.
- 💬 Briefly:
- Getir wants to own them all and is reportedly buying Flink—enjoy it while it lasts;
- Tier reportedly selling itself;
- Vice News, a former alter news source loved by millennials and eventually copied by everyone, is in serious trouble;
- TeamViewer from Ba-Wü posted 13% YoY growth (151M);
- SAP wants to enter LLMs with an investment into Aleph Alpha—it will surely be expensive;
- Lilium (Munich) needs/wants to raise €250M;
- founder of once-hyped Gorillas, Kagan Sümer, is building something new in HealthTech called Mirror (no website yet);
- his other three colleagues founded meal-as-a-service for restaurants, Tasty Urban.
Week of 15th (May)
- ✌️ Here is another reminder to check out my article with 40+ questions you can ask at the job interview. Disclosure: not written by ChatGPT!
- 👻 Like all the startups beyond Series B, Bolt also plans to become profitable soon, specifically in the next 12 months, and then IPO in 2025. They might also do payments? More at Reuters. Meantime, Lyft, another Uber competitor, is firing 1100 employees.
- ⚡️ Remember all those predictions on the Russian gas and the collapse of Germany? Here is an interesting article about the concept of substitutes in economics (the fallacy: “When the average person thinks about a 40% reduction in natural gas supplies, they implicitly assume that each natural gas-dependent industry must cut its usage by 40%.”), but it is also worth reading the comments for differing opinions (= free markets are BS.)
- 👀 Besides your burgers and curries, Lieferando started to deliver 100 different MediaMarkt products inside the Berlin ring (useful if you urgently need a phone charger or a phone, lol? and bad for their competitor Arive). Food & high margin product delivery is probably here to stay, but groceries? I think not.
- 📚Blinkist, a Berlin-based app that always felt like cheating to me, was bought by Go1 from Down Under; nobody asked me for my opinion, but a good time to exit with all the Generative AI knocking on the door! Now I should probably go back to my book.
- 🌊 Have you ever heard of Seaflooding? Me neither, but it reads like a great idea. Flooding parts of the Sahara to reduce the ocean levels? Plus, make some energy on the way? Let’s do it!
- 👟 Adidas is stuck with €1B worth of Yeezy sneakers since the man lost his mind, but, amongst other batshit crazy stuff, found a purpose in antisemitism. They plan to sell them gradually and partially donate the proceeds. (€, 🇩🇪) What a problem to have.
- ⛴️ Exberliner delivers again! Berlin has plenty of ferries; I see myself using some in the summer. This article also made me think I need a “handpicked Berlin bucket list.”
- 😔 Bad news: nobody is publishing news about layoffs anymore! There are three options: 1) all layoffs are done; 2) all layoffs are silent; 3) nobody is laying off. I vote for 2). Infarm leaving Berlin & Europe; okäse (Köln) insolvent.
- berlin choice of the week is this DDR map of Berlin from 1988; comments deliver as usual.
- 💬 Briefly:
- swedish Northvolt plans to build a battery gigafactory in Schleswig-Holstein (and employ 3k people) with support from the state and Bund - careers;
- Revolut’s CFO is leaving, which is never a good sign, especially after problems with acquiring a banking licence in the UK. On a more positive note: they will start to sell ETFs via Berlin’s Upvest;
- Trivago, the troubled aggregator of the aggregators, changed almost their complete board;
- VW will restructure Cariad, its software arm, replacing its CEO with Peter Bosch (ex-Bentley);
- Google did not release Bard in the EU because of GDPregulation worries;
- Unstoppable Finance (Berlin-based crypto play) wants to get a banking license in 2024;
- Mobileye will do automated assistance and navigate-on-pilot functions for Porsche;
- FS Italiane ordered 40 locomotives from Siemens worth €300M;
- Rheinmetall is planning to start production in Ukraine.
Week of 22nd (May)
- 🚴♀️ If you have ever wondered how many bikes pass a certain checkpoint in Berlin, you have your answers here. (via this post on berlin)
- 👀 I found out about Himmel Unter Berlin, an exclusive invite-only exhibition. I did enter the waitlist, but if I could be your +1, please let me know. 🙏
- 💸 After eight years of rental price caps, landlords (incl. mine) just seem to love ignoring the rules and ask for too much rent! (🇩🇪) Analysis of 6K cases in 2021 shows that 98% were overcharged. Hah.
- Bitpanda, an Austrian crypto investing platform, jumped on the AI hype train and will invest $10M in an AI chatbot. Ok.
- In Saxony, AfD’s Sebastian Wippel brought the topic of chemtrails to the state parliament. What’s next, Flat Earth?
- Sifted reports that Bolt is close to buying Tier. There are still some micro-mobility companies left, but I am still unsure how such a seasonal business can be profitable long-term. Bolt is betting on many horses, and only time will tell if we will still see so many scooters lying around in 2 years. Related:
- ☝️I previously recommended Matt Levine and his Money Stuff, and this week he wrote about blitzscaling of Uber being possibly illegal. The VC-subsidised “winner takes all” mentality caused partial destruction of competition and could be considered predatory pricing. Worth a read (second chapter)!
- 😔 Bad news: nothing to report. So instead, data from last week’s poll: 26% (41) of voters know 10+ people laid off since April 1st, and 38% do not know anyone. The rest (36%) are in-between. Hard to draw conclusions, but clearly, silent layoffs are happening.
- berlin choice of the week is a flat directory of smaller real estate companies. Good luck if you are on a search now.
- 💬 Briefly: Tesla will start spending on marketing (inevitable with all the competition); ThyssenKrupp wants to IPO its hydrogen unit Nucera (careers) in June for 4B; Cara Care founder Jesaja Brinkmann ALSO behaved inappropriately towards female colleagues at a party in December and is OUT; Intel also wants to invest in LLM developers Aleph Alpha from Heidelberg; after Mercedes also VWis leaving Russia; DB ordered 73 new ICEs (🇩🇪) for €2B and wants to hire thousands—careers; ATU was hacked (🇩🇪)—I wonder if my car data is LOST or STOLEN.
Week of 29th (May)
- 📉 Germany is, because of a second negative quarter in a row, officially in a mild recession (GDP fell by 0.3% for the last quarter). Well. On the other hand, some startups (esp. renewables) were hiring extensively last year, as the analysis of Sifted shows. To me, Helsing from the Sifted list sounds promising, but ask them if they have a product already. Careers.
- 👎 Most of the Google/Amazon/other reviews are useless. First, a lot of them are fake and second; they can be bought, and third, they are skewed because the majority of people never review.Gergely Oroszdid an extensive analysis of Glassdoor reviews after layoffs and I think the whole thing proves the point that looking at them is useless and a waste of time.
- 💩 OpenAI founder Sam Altman said they might pull ChatGPT out of the EU because of the regulation shortly after he also told US regulators that AI should be regulated. I guess only his regulation is the correct regulation?
- 🛒 Instead of selling itself to Getir, Flink raised €150M from existing investors (they took a haircut to the highest valuation at €2.5B, now at around €1B). In addition, they are letting 100 employees in HQ go and are pulling out of France after their €100M Cajoo investment (🇩🇪, €). On top, Aldi Süd will experiment with delivery around Mülheim (🇩🇪) this July. Are you bullish or bearish?
- ☝️Big organisations are often arrogant and inefficient. It recently happened again to Microsoft, as reported in this anecdote where Satya Nadella scolded his R&D team. Another good lesson that the size and throwing money at things often doesn’t work.
- 😅 One of the weirdest political debates I have seen since in Berlin is around the closing of Friedrichstrasse for traffic. Now it will be open again from the 1st of July. But hey, what is the point of just closing a street without planting trees and making it much more pedestrian-friendly? They did it in many other cities, and it worked. Half-assed attempts make no sense.
- ✈️ Here is a longer profile in German of Ryanair and its success (🇩🇪) after their annual report. They are profitable, are expanding their fleet and want to hire 10k.
- 🧨 Before joining N26, you might want to read this great analysis from Miriam at Sifted. Bullish or bearish?
- 🐟 Here you have an Insta post of some of the best lakes around Berlin, which you should pair with this temperature monitoring when the time comes. From my perspective, the time is not here yet.
- I tried what3words a couple of times, and I remember thinking, “Wow, what a great idea”, before going back to using Google Maps. This week I learned they burned £119M to generate £2.5M in revenue in the last six years. What a time to be alive. This, kids, is what a vitamin looks like instead of a painkiller.
- ☄️Great news. There is probably no imminent danger of getting erased by an asteroid: We still have at least 1000 years left on Earth unless we destroy it ourselves first!
- 😔 Bad news: Circus (Hamburg, 35/25%); Meta 6000 (unknown for Germany); Moss(Berlin, 30), Flink (Berlin, 100).
- 💡 Speaking of layoffs: I have previously linked to “how to act” guidance, but it was not as good as this LinkedIn post from Mayuri Reddy. Read it and share it.
- 🇹🇭 I have never been to Thailand or Thai Park yet, and this is changing soon; Exberliner has tips on what to eat in Thai Park. I am going with Pad Thai. See you around!
- berlin choice of the week is this discussion about Pfandpiraten and how much they can earn. Fascinating! “They estimated that about 928,000 people actively collect Pfand in Germany. Of them, 56% make less than 4€ a day. Of them, 28% collect enough that it is their primary income.”
- 💬 Briefly: Solaris Bank is raising fresh money (€50M); Klarna moved its goal to reach profitability this summer to “this year” and is reportedly “on track”; Flix is expanding like there is no tomorrow: India will be its 42nd market; Neeva, a Google search ads-free alternative full of ex-Google execs, is no more; Meta was fined a record €1.2B for illegal data transfers from the EU to the US beating the previous record of €746M by Amazon.
2023.06.06 19:33 iSolemnlySwear88 Are These Reasons Valid For Going No Contact With Mother?
After years of feeling shamed by my mother (and older sister), receiving very little normal parenting from my mother I finally went no contact, a few months ago. It feels like poor timing, but I honestly can not continue and be a part of her life anymore.
The final straw was about two months ago my mother (she claims she accidentally misdialed her cell phone and did not actually mean to call me- which I don't believe) yet, she decides to continue to tell me she was in the hospital for two weeks. When I questioned if she had been unconsious or so ill that she was unable to contact me sooner, she simply said that she did not want to bother me with the inconvenience and did not want me to come to the hospital to see her and that she had been in contact with both my siblings since day one of her hospitalization.
At this point, since she decided that I was . . . I guess not worth contacting? - or someone she did not want to see in her most vulnerable state of health, or I have concluded that I am so much of an embarrassment to her that she did not want even the doctor and nurses to know I was her daughter.
Not only was this incredibly hurtful but now I feel like the jerk for cutting ties at this particular time. Part of me feels immense guilt for deciding to go no contact now, mostly because she is 84 years old but another part of me also feels like she abandoned me long ago and I just can't take any of it anymore. I have had enough of her manipulative and selfish behavior.
Some context and history- she lives in a different state, about 12 hours away. My brother is living in the same city and manages to care for her in between his alcoholism. My sister lives about 3 hours away and due to an unforgivable selfish action taken by my sister about 16 years ago (which I will not get into as it is an entirely long and complicated history and relationship with her as well) and I have not had any contact with her since the incident. My mother has basically compared me to my oldest sister that left home at the age of 18 and has never been a sister to me, instead most of my life she has been verbally cruel to me. When we were in contact, she would basically talk so poorly about my brother, my life, and even my mother, who favors her. She is my mother's favorite child and my mother has made sure I knew this and basically told me this repeatedly over my lifetime. Now, my mother who is 84 has started speaking of my brother as if he is a wonderful son and repeatedly tells me how proud she is of him. When I explained to her that he is drinking again (I saw him drinking in his car, the last time we came to visit in April of 2022) - she denies this is possible and continues to speak of him highly when she calls me. I think in her mind, with all of the issues he is dealing with and his addiction (which she absolutely played a role in) - he is better than me since he lives closer and can attend to her on a weekly basis and see her. I should mention up until this recent auto accident, which she caused but blames the other driver for- she is like a senior anomaly that is in perfect medical health- more like a 50 year old. Although, the past few years, my husband and I both tried to convince her to give up her car and move to an independent care facility.
My entire family is dysfunctional- my sister acts like she is better than everyone else, my brother has been an alcoholic with 3 DUI's and on drugs and in prison - certainly because of my parents. I can't blame him- his struggle with addiction is due to our family. We do not interact or function in any way like a normal family and most of this is because of my mother.
After a long reflection back on my relationship with my mother, these are the main reasons I can no longer be in her life:
1.) Throughout my early childhood she was unhappy in her 1st marriage (to my biological father) and they fought daily- most times at the dinner table, which has caused me to have an unhealthy relationship with food, little to no trust in others (outside of my husband), and no interest in having children or a family of my own. I have no friends and most of my life has been on my own, until I meet my loving husband.
2.) In my awkward teen years, after her divorce from my father, she completely stopped parenting me and treated me as if I was a burden and an embarrassment. No boundaries, no direction, no advice, and no loving behavior.
3.) She has been consumed with her relationship to her wealthy Catholic high school friends that she has remained in contact with (they have now all passed away) and she has spent her lifetime oddly prioritizing them over her own family. Even the Catholic church was more important to her than her family- I suspect this was more of a wealth and status outward display for her relationship to her friends, rather than it was about faith. She bragged often about her devotion to the church and her volunteering. This has resulted in a lifetime of regret and comparison to their lives. To the point that our family and lower middle-class status was never good enough for her and she never made this a secret. Her unhappiness has essentially been imprinted on all of her children.
4.) She (nor my father) attended my high school graduation or my college graduation- it took me 13 years of putting myself through college to finally obtain my degree.
5.) She thinks my husband is my only saving grace and praises him and speaks highly of him ( yes, I am aware, I love him and this is why I married him. He is a gentle, caring man- who has helped me though much of my dysfunctional family) to the point that she seems to treat him more like the child son she never had and constantly reminds me of what a wonderful man he is and that I should do everything to keep him.
6.) I patiently listened to her complain over the phone for over two decades about her second husband- which she is also ashamed of and seemed to have married for financial stability- which never actually seemed to be the case. He was broke, a terrible human that abandoned his own children. Their marriage seemed to be more like roommates that barely tolerated each other. When he developed a terminal illness- my mother spent the last years of his life taking care of him (very poorly I am sure- in fact I suspect she was unsympathetic, resentful toward him, and harsh) and constantly complained that no one else was there to assist her and that her life was miserable and he was making her life intolerable. Often during these phone calls, I would think to myself- no one is there for you because you were never there for your children. During the pandemic, while I was dealing with the loss of my own business and my own depression, she would call me to complain about all of this- almost on a weekly basis. Rarely asking about my own situation or health. When she would ask, it never seemed genuine. She seemed to be waiting for her husband to pass so she could get some relief and get on with her life- at 84??? He did finally pass away and she propped herself up to be the hero who took such great care of him alone and she was the doting wife and surviving widow. I have no idea but I suspect she never used my sister as a 'punching bag' to unload all of her problems on and complain. So I was the one who took this on weekly for several years.
I could probably list 20 other reasons but this is the bigger picture and I can't continue to state an entire life of her disappointments and lack of love for those closest to her.
Based on what I have stated, does it seem logical to want to move forward without her in the rest of my life?
submitted by iSolemnlySwear88 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
The final straw was about two months ago my mother (she claims she accidentally misdialed her cell phone and did not actually mean to call me- which I don't believe) yet, she decides to continue to tell me she was in the hospital for two weeks. When I questioned if she had been unconsious or so ill that she was unable to contact me sooner, she simply said that she did not want to bother me with the inconvenience and did not want me to come to the hospital to see her and that she had been in contact with both my siblings since day one of her hospitalization.
At this point, since she decided that I was . . . I guess not worth contacting? - or someone she did not want to see in her most vulnerable state of health, or I have concluded that I am so much of an embarrassment to her that she did not want even the doctor and nurses to know I was her daughter.
Not only was this incredibly hurtful but now I feel like the jerk for cutting ties at this particular time. Part of me feels immense guilt for deciding to go no contact now, mostly because she is 84 years old but another part of me also feels like she abandoned me long ago and I just can't take any of it anymore. I have had enough of her manipulative and selfish behavior.
Some context and history- she lives in a different state, about 12 hours away. My brother is living in the same city and manages to care for her in between his alcoholism. My sister lives about 3 hours away and due to an unforgivable selfish action taken by my sister about 16 years ago (which I will not get into as it is an entirely long and complicated history and relationship with her as well) and I have not had any contact with her since the incident. My mother has basically compared me to my oldest sister that left home at the age of 18 and has never been a sister to me, instead most of my life she has been verbally cruel to me. When we were in contact, she would basically talk so poorly about my brother, my life, and even my mother, who favors her. She is my mother's favorite child and my mother has made sure I knew this and basically told me this repeatedly over my lifetime. Now, my mother who is 84 has started speaking of my brother as if he is a wonderful son and repeatedly tells me how proud she is of him. When I explained to her that he is drinking again (I saw him drinking in his car, the last time we came to visit in April of 2022) - she denies this is possible and continues to speak of him highly when she calls me. I think in her mind, with all of the issues he is dealing with and his addiction (which she absolutely played a role in) - he is better than me since he lives closer and can attend to her on a weekly basis and see her. I should mention up until this recent auto accident, which she caused but blames the other driver for- she is like a senior anomaly that is in perfect medical health- more like a 50 year old. Although, the past few years, my husband and I both tried to convince her to give up her car and move to an independent care facility.
My entire family is dysfunctional- my sister acts like she is better than everyone else, my brother has been an alcoholic with 3 DUI's and on drugs and in prison - certainly because of my parents. I can't blame him- his struggle with addiction is due to our family. We do not interact or function in any way like a normal family and most of this is because of my mother.
After a long reflection back on my relationship with my mother, these are the main reasons I can no longer be in her life:
1.) Throughout my early childhood she was unhappy in her 1st marriage (to my biological father) and they fought daily- most times at the dinner table, which has caused me to have an unhealthy relationship with food, little to no trust in others (outside of my husband), and no interest in having children or a family of my own. I have no friends and most of my life has been on my own, until I meet my loving husband.
2.) In my awkward teen years, after her divorce from my father, she completely stopped parenting me and treated me as if I was a burden and an embarrassment. No boundaries, no direction, no advice, and no loving behavior.
3.) She has been consumed with her relationship to her wealthy Catholic high school friends that she has remained in contact with (they have now all passed away) and she has spent her lifetime oddly prioritizing them over her own family. Even the Catholic church was more important to her than her family- I suspect this was more of a wealth and status outward display for her relationship to her friends, rather than it was about faith. She bragged often about her devotion to the church and her volunteering. This has resulted in a lifetime of regret and comparison to their lives. To the point that our family and lower middle-class status was never good enough for her and she never made this a secret. Her unhappiness has essentially been imprinted on all of her children.
4.) She (nor my father) attended my high school graduation or my college graduation- it took me 13 years of putting myself through college to finally obtain my degree.
5.) She thinks my husband is my only saving grace and praises him and speaks highly of him ( yes, I am aware, I love him and this is why I married him. He is a gentle, caring man- who has helped me though much of my dysfunctional family) to the point that she seems to treat him more like the child son she never had and constantly reminds me of what a wonderful man he is and that I should do everything to keep him.
6.) I patiently listened to her complain over the phone for over two decades about her second husband- which she is also ashamed of and seemed to have married for financial stability- which never actually seemed to be the case. He was broke, a terrible human that abandoned his own children. Their marriage seemed to be more like roommates that barely tolerated each other. When he developed a terminal illness- my mother spent the last years of his life taking care of him (very poorly I am sure- in fact I suspect she was unsympathetic, resentful toward him, and harsh) and constantly complained that no one else was there to assist her and that her life was miserable and he was making her life intolerable. Often during these phone calls, I would think to myself- no one is there for you because you were never there for your children. During the pandemic, while I was dealing with the loss of my own business and my own depression, she would call me to complain about all of this- almost on a weekly basis. Rarely asking about my own situation or health. When she would ask, it never seemed genuine. She seemed to be waiting for her husband to pass so she could get some relief and get on with her life- at 84??? He did finally pass away and she propped herself up to be the hero who took such great care of him alone and she was the doting wife and surviving widow. I have no idea but I suspect she never used my sister as a 'punching bag' to unload all of her problems on and complain. So I was the one who took this on weekly for several years.
I could probably list 20 other reasons but this is the bigger picture and I can't continue to state an entire life of her disappointments and lack of love for those closest to her.
Based on what I have stated, does it seem logical to want to move forward without her in the rest of my life?
2023.06.06 19:10 MatrixReddit97 Considering Behavioral Euthanasia
I have two dogs (both from a shelter). While both have aggression issues, our younger dog (M 2y/o mixed breed) has on multiple occasions attacked completely unprovoked.
We got our younger dog about 6 months ago and he has always been timid around us, but especially my girlfriend (who I live with). During the first few months we had him, he would spontaneously attack us and draw blood with a bite. It ranged from us sitting to close to him to petting him and he doesn’t even growl, just goes straight to biting. We don’t know his full history, but before going under our care, he was re-homed 3 times, had 2x bite history in the shelter, and was previously a stray.
We figured this would go away with time but recently the attacks have picked up again. Today walked up to my girlfriend, tail wagging, and laid down submissively to be pet, and once she was petting him he quickly snapped back and bit down on her arm, putting a deep tooth gash. This is about the 5th time he has drawn blood (serious bite) in 6 months. 4 times on her, twice on me.
Dog behaviorists are scarce in the area and wouldn’t be able to start visits for months. He responds well to training, but only attacks unprovoked so it is extremely hard to train against it. I also would consider keeping him on muzzle 24/7, but he always gets it off after some time and he is constantly uncomfortable with it on.
Since getting the dog, my girlfriend has felt scared and has had to walk on egg shells every day. We also don’t have family in town, so leaving town is essentially impossible. Am I wrong for considering putting him down with just a half of a year of ownership? Im worried these bites will continue and worry he could potentially hurt someone while in public when he is taken on walks.
submitted by MatrixReddit97 to Dogtraining [link] [comments]
We got our younger dog about 6 months ago and he has always been timid around us, but especially my girlfriend (who I live with). During the first few months we had him, he would spontaneously attack us and draw blood with a bite. It ranged from us sitting to close to him to petting him and he doesn’t even growl, just goes straight to biting. We don’t know his full history, but before going under our care, he was re-homed 3 times, had 2x bite history in the shelter, and was previously a stray.
We figured this would go away with time but recently the attacks have picked up again. Today walked up to my girlfriend, tail wagging, and laid down submissively to be pet, and once she was petting him he quickly snapped back and bit down on her arm, putting a deep tooth gash. This is about the 5th time he has drawn blood (serious bite) in 6 months. 4 times on her, twice on me.
Dog behaviorists are scarce in the area and wouldn’t be able to start visits for months. He responds well to training, but only attacks unprovoked so it is extremely hard to train against it. I also would consider keeping him on muzzle 24/7, but he always gets it off after some time and he is constantly uncomfortable with it on.
Since getting the dog, my girlfriend has felt scared and has had to walk on egg shells every day. We also don’t have family in town, so leaving town is essentially impossible. Am I wrong for considering putting him down with just a half of a year of ownership? Im worried these bites will continue and worry he could potentially hurt someone while in public when he is taken on walks.
2023.06.06 18:01 Region-Formal The make-up of BBBY's Top 30 Unsecured Creditors list provides grounds for optimism for current shareholders
0. Preface
In my post a couple of weeks ago, assessing the likelihood of current shareholders coming away profitable in the end, I noted that Holly Etlin's Docket 10 filing to the bankruptcy court stated that the company has around $800 million in secured creditors (JP Morgan, Sixth Street etc.) and $1 billion in unsecured creditors (mainly bond holders) to pay off. That too is only the funded debt; the [aggregate debt situation] is even worse:The company estimated it had assets of $4.4 billion and total debt of $5.2 billion as of late November, and the number of creditors is between 25,001 and 50,000, with BNY Mellon having the biggest unsecured claim of $1.18 billion. BNY Mellon is a trustee on three senior debt issues, according to a spokesperson for the firm.
Before any value can be returned to the current shareholders by a successful exit from Chapter 11, secured and then unsecured creditors must first be satisfied. That is a very simple fact, and the notion that a sale of any kind of the company is bullish for current shareholders is simply incorrect and misguided. If current equity holders are to receive anything, and not have their investments wiped away, then a prospective buyer would need to cover BBBY's debt obligations to secured and unsecured creditors.
1. Who Are Unsecured Creditors?
The hierarchy of this is that it is firstly the secured creditors who must be paid out. In BBBY's case these are primarily the Wall Street financial institutions JP Morgan and Sixth Street, who have provided loans to basically keep the company operating. As these are fairly straightforward debt obligations, I think a buyer would simply need to pay them off in cash, as part of a successful Chapter 11 restructuring.But after that come the unsecured creditors, and I believe how a prospective buyer pays these entities off could have a greater impact on whether shareholders can receive anything. If the buyer can negotiate in a savvy fashion with the unsecured creditors, there could be an opportunity to reduce how much of their debts need to be paid off. Additionally the method of payment could become important, as some form of equities-for-debt could mean the launching of new securities, of which current shareholders could receive some portion.
Hence the negotiations with these unsecured creditors could become extremely important for a successful deal to be formulated. Meaning that who these unsecured creditors are, and what they might be satisfied with, is a potentially critical factor. Below are the typical types of unsecured creditors that most publicly traded companies have:
Bondholders: Bondholders are individuals or institutional investors who have purchased corporate bonds issued by the company. These bonds are unsecured and represent debt owed by the company.
Debenture Holders: Similar to bondholders, debenture holders hold unsecured debt instruments issued by the company known as debentures.
Noteholders: Noteholders hold unsecured promissory notes issued by the company, representing debt obligations.
Unsecured Loan Providers: Individuals or financial institutions that have provided unsecured loans to the company.
Trade Creditors: These are suppliers or vendors who have provided goods or services on credit to the company.
Employees: Unpaid wages, benefits, or pensions owed to employees can also make them unsecured creditors.
Leaseholders: Companies may have leased properties or equipment from landlords or lessors, making them unsecured creditors if rental payments are outstanding.
2. BBBY's Main Unsecured Creditors
Hence I was very much interested when Docket 607 came out last Friday 2nd June, as this contains a list of BBBY's top 30 Unsecured Creditors. Here they are in alphabetical order, including my short description of what they do:ARTSANA USA INC: Italian company in the parenting space, part owned by Baby Care International Development Sarl (Luxemburgish firm)
BLUE YONDER INC: Supply chain management software company, operating as an independent subsidiary of Panasonic (Japanese electronics giant)
BNY MELLON: American investment management and investment services provider; largest creditor of $1.18 billion
BRIDGETREE LLC: American marketing analytics and big data analytics company
CITRUS AD INTERNATIONAL INC: Publicis Groupe (French media firm) owned software as a service (SaaS) platform, optimizing brands marketing performances directly within retailer websites
COMMISSION JUNCTION INC: Another Publicis Groupe (French media firm) owned affiliate marketplace, in which eCommerce brands can browse a large selection of products that can be used for promoting and building their business
FACEBOOK INC (META PLATFORMS): American multinational technology conglomerate
F 3 METALWORX INC: American precision metal works provider specializing in Wire Weld Store Fixtures, Arvite Precision Sheet Metal Fabrication and Cost Effective Coatings
FEDERAL HEATH SIGN COMPANY LLC: American firm that manufactures interior marketing decor, external signs and digital signage
FEDEX: American express delivery services and solutions firm
GRANITE TELECOMMUNICATIONS LLC: American one-stop solutions for voice, data, Internet, wireless, video and secure network options provider
IDX CORPORATION: American company that develops and manufactures consumer displays and environments
INTERSOFT DATA LABS INC: Indian company thar specialises in IT outsourcing and business process solutions, especially digital transformations
KDM P.O.P. SOLUTIONS GROUP: American in-store retail marketing solutions provider
KEECO LLC: American home textile supplier, specializing bedding and curtains
KEPLER GROUP LLC: Digital marketing services company, part of the Japanese media giant Hakuhodo's kyu Collective
KEURIG GREEN MOUNTAIN INC: American beverage and coffeemaker conglomerate
LENOX CORPORATION: American manufacturing company that sells tableware, giftware, and collectible products under the Lenox, Dansk, Reed & Barton, and Gorham brands.
LIFETIME BRANDS INC: American provider of kitchenware, tableware and other products used in the home
MADIX INC: American manufacturer of store fixtures, shelving, and display accessories
NATIONAL TREE COMPANY: Leading American importer and wholesaler of artificial Christmas trees, wreaths and garlands as well as holiday decorations and fiber optics products
NORTH AMERICAN CORPORATION: American packaging solutions and facility solutions firm
PERSONALIZATIONMALL: Amerixan provider of distinctive keepsake items featuring a broad assortment of customizable products
PINTEREST INC: American image sharing and social media service
SHARKNINJA SALES COMPANY: American manufacturer of small home appliances
TEMPUR‐PEDIC: American manufacturer and distributor of mattresses and pillows made from viscoelastic foam
TESTRITE PRODUCTS CORP.: American wholesale distributor of home furnishings and housewares
THE KNOT WORLDWIDE INC: American wedding planning and goods company
VERIZON BUSINESS NETWORK: American voice and data telecommunications campany
WILLIAM CARTER CO.: Major American designer and marketer of children's apparel
3. Unsecured Creditor Categories
Here I am putting these 30 firms into categories, based on my personal assessment of what type of firm they are and/or what kind of relationship they most likely have with BBBY:
Financal Services providers to BBBY
BNY MELLON
Business Services providers to BBBY
BLUE YONDER INC
BRIDGETREE LLC
CITRUS AD INTERNATIONAL INC
COMMISSION JUNCTION INC
FACEBOOK INC (META PLATFORMS)
F 3 METALWORX INC
FEDERAL HEATH SIGN COMPANY LLC
FEDEX
GRANITE TELECOMMUNICATIONS LLC
IDX CORPORATION
INTERSOFT DATA LABS INC
KDM P.O.P. SOLUTIONS GROUP
KEPLER GROUP LLC
MADIX INC
NORTH AMERICAN CORPORATION
PINTEREST INC
VERIZON BUSINESS NETWORK
Suppliers of products sold at BBBY stores
ARTSANA USA INC
KEECO LLC
KEURIG GREEN MOUNTAIN INC
LENOX CORPORATION
NATIONAL TREE COMPANY
PERSONALIZATIONMALL
SHARKNINJA SALES COMPANY
TEMPUR‐PEDIC
TESTRITE PRODUCTS CORP.
THE KNOT WORLDWIDE INC
WILLIAM CARTER CO.
What I was concerned about before carrying out this research was whether most of BBBY's unsecured creditors are financial services firms. We know for sure that BNY Mellon is the largest of the bond holder, being the trustee of the senior notes. However not a single one of the other 29 firms on this list are other financial services providers. Of course no guarantees, but I believe this significantly reduces the risk of bad Wall Street actors being able to "sabotage" potential negotiations between a prospective buyer of BBBY and the collective secured creditors.
In fact, the vast majority of these large secured creditors appear to be Trade Creditors, and I believe that is a very encouraging sign. For these companies, there is no advantage at all in BBBY winding down its operations, as that would mean a loss of longer term income for them. Looking at the products and services these companies provide, they either receive revenue from BBBY for business services, or have their products sold through BBBY's bricks-and-mortar and/or online stores. So for BBBY to wind down completely would not be in these secured creditors' best interests at all, as they would simply be losing a long-term revenue source.
4. The Ultimate Deal
As such, I believe there is a good chance that a prospective buyer can significantly reduce the secured debt obligations currently on BBBY's books, as part of a successful acquisition of the company. Except for BNY Mellon, all the other major unsecured creditors appear to be BBBY's suppliers and long-term business partners. I would think that the short-term gain of recovering their current debts is less beneficial to these companies, if compared to continuing to supply their products and services to BBBY and/or its successor entities.So what kind of deal could take place? This could take many forms, but an attractive one for these unsecured creditors could be a swapping of debt for newly issued securities. Those could be of a new ticker representing BBBY's post-Chapter 11 business, or of a spin-off such as BABY, or even more attractively, both. This third option would mean that far from their relationship with BBBY ending in disappointing fashion, they can instead recoup their unsecured credit, receive equity and part-ownership in one or more new companies, AND can provide products and services to these firms.
Such a scenario would also be extremely beneficial for current BBBY shareholders as well. If the buyer's requirements for paying off BBBY's debts are reduced, then a higher chance there is enough left over from their acquisition offer to return to us equity holders. I am also inclined to think that the type of offer is more likely to include their own stock, given such an equity-for-debt offer could be more attractive to Trade Creditors. As I have pointed out in numerous past DDs, I believe such an acquisition - either in the form of an All-Stock or Combined Stock/Cash deal - has the greatest likelihood of triggering a Short Squeeze.
So it is fair to say that I am really quite encouraged by the make-up of BBBY's top 30 unsecured creditors list...!
5. Summary
- Before current shareholders can receive any value from a successful exit from Chapter 11 bankruptcy, secured and unsecured creditors must be satisfied.
- Secured creditors have priority and must be paid off first. They are typically financial institutions that have provided loans to the company, such as JP Morgan and Sixth Street in the case of BBBY.
- Unsecured creditors come next, and how they are paid off can impact whether shareholders receive anything. Negotiating with unsecured creditors could potentially reduce the amount of debt that needs to be paid and the method of payment, such as equities-for-debt, could involve launching new securities.
- BBBY's top 30 unsecured creditors were listed in Docket 607. They include a mix of companies from various industries, such as financial services providers, business services providers, and suppliers of products sold at BBBY stores.
- However the fact that most of BBBY's unsecured creditors are Trade Creditors (suppliers and long-term business partners) rather than financial services firms reduces the risk of potential negative interference from Wall Street actors for a potential buyer.
- A prospective buyer may be able to reduce secured debt obligations by negotiating with trade creditors who have a long-term interest in maintaining a relationship with BBBY.
- An attractive deal for these unsecured creditors could involve swapping debt for newly issued securities, potentially representing BBBY's post-Chapter 11 business and/or a spun-off BABY.
- Such a deal could also be extremely beneficial to current shareholders, as this increases the likelihood of returning value from the acquisition offer and potentially triggering a Short Squeeze.
- The makeup of BBBY's top 30 unsecured creditors list is therefore very encouraging for potential acquisition negotiations, and an overall profitable outcome for shareholders.
2023.06.06 17:59 berdel__ Gator under water MAP - where to lose it and where not.
 | (map and pictures below) submitted by berdel__ to theHunter [link] [comments] Last day we see here some posts about problems to find alligator after shot, while he went into water.Of course almost all answers are like 'it's gone', 'alligator hunt is hard because they have to be gone in water', 'sometimes they come up'. Guys. STOP. For example yesterday - I wrote to the guy witht that kind of problem (here on reddit), he should show me where he killed it and I can answer him or it is gone or not. We did some info exchange and you know what? I told him it should be not gone and gave him few probable spots where it can be. HE FOUND IT - despite all these responds 'its part of hard alligator hunt. It's gone'. If you want change your alligator hunt, make it less stress just read this post. If not, scroll.And if you are highly interested in gator hunting (and crocodiles in future) you can join my fresh reddit community reptilesofCOTW Now to the point! We all know stories about alligators lost under water, which really happend, what creates a spooky legend "alligator hunt is so hard because they are gone under water". Yes, technically it is possible to lost them under water because this is how the game is designed, how alligators "dive and hide" mechanic is designed. However there is a huge BUT. My beginnig of alligator hunting was hard as spooky legend says - losing gators under water, must hit neck or head. I was trying, exploring, taking that pain, taking my lessons, analysing and planing how to make things just easier. After some time I got all pieces together and got a new concept how to try hunting them and not to lose them under water. Now, when I'm absolute in love of grinding them, after over 1700 kills, I have a lot of arguments and final conclusions, which can denify a lot of problems and mistakes of most of players trying hunt gators. The same mistakes and problems with I had to deal and which I did. There was no easy way out on beginnig. It can be unpopular opinion, annoying one, making some ppl salty, but we have to say it loud - losing alligators under water is mainly an effect of bad shot placement. I don't care what kind of shot - gator hunt don't tolerate bad shots. Bad head or neck shot which don't instant kills is bad shot, bad shot at lungs, which ends in leg or not in lungs is mess. If you can't take perfect shot on gator, you are taking NO SHOT - that's all. Your job is to make everything to get to place and time for perfect shot. End of story. Of course we can blame the game about allowing that kind of problem. So of course, reason is not bad shot, reason is, because gators can be gone under water, right? Just let us hit them like we want, no matter good or not, let us make them complete mess and please give me my gator from water back.. Is this the way? This game mechanic should be not working like that but even if it is what it is there is possibility to hunt them efficient with fun and with no problems. And this mechanic makes gator hunt 'easy to start but hard to master' and gators as animal 'easy to hit but hard to get'. Which is something special in COTW. It is absloute another level and world of hunting compare to white tails or any other ground animal. As I wrote - I killed over 1700 gators. My way is to (only) lung shots. In my opinion neck and head shooting is only a space for making huge mistakes (specially on very long ranges), letting them reach the water and losing them there. Because WOUNDED AND SLOW DYING ALLIGATOR WILL BE ALMOST ALWAYS A UNDER WATER LOST ALLIGATOR. But - perfect hitted gator is not a lost one. The reason is here how deep are waters on hunting spots. If they have to much time to dive and reaching the deepest spots, they will be gone - that's the reason why bad shots giving them time to dive that deep (more details in my YT video). Now, why am I mentoning my number of kills? Because I let all alligators run in water! I even want them run in water to easier collecting them! I have absolutely no stress about gator in water. So far I lost ONLY 45 (saying my newest notes) gators under water. 10 of them because I really lost them even with beeing sure spot is safe or low risk. But just think about it - 10 of 1700. It is marginal. 35 of them were lost because I was lazy - there were just bad shots or I just could do more to avoid their reaching the very worst spots. For example - in near of 'black hole' spot I could take (last chance solution) neck shot or just make more effort for double lungs. But no - I was lazy and took bad shot and I was not angry or suprised it was lost. Or I just kill them 'anyhow' - you know, grinding right on some days. So, after all that kills and taking gators from water (aside some hundreds killed on ground on short ranges) I got some experiences where you can lose gator under water and where not. And I give you here pure knowledge on a plate to stop talking all over "yOu haVe tO lOsT gaToR unDEr WaTeR". Because you don't have. If there is a solution to do something easier - use it, try it. There is way to not losing gators under water, or even to kill 6 of them in 60 seconds (on the ground). KEEP in mind - this map will be working like that only if gator dies(!) in the marked point after a one perfect vital shot. Hurting them, messing them up, machine gunning them will not making this map works. And I'm thinking about guns with class 4-8 ammo and 4-9 ammo like M1 or zarza .308. (in case someone is planning to rush gators with ranger or solokhin - no, it will not work). Again -> this is about where gator has to die, not where he should get shot. The colours of spots*:
https://preview.redd.it/j4ceznsjzf4b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b68b714e02608d75c2bf0bc5945dd1c765ee9b22 https://preview.redd.it/3fim9qsjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e247aa62d883919b931e6c1efc80d093bd663a61 https://preview.redd.it/xh18jktjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f380f54cede8e0fb440478be33399bae8ef1f72 https://preview.redd.it/tiobfotjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cc34bc074a1b1f4acb5ff663210807ed1e6846c https://preview.redd.it/yss4j9tjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33d5d2e364e85bf80f5312e0b33218ab48c1d3d1 https://preview.redd.it/2xedjctjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57efe1300c600423ddd2700e5a9c13f1ccd8d18c https://preview.redd.it/s1bsjotjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2cdf6731f76dfe76e1a73ff95273f37fc6db5eb0 https://preview.redd.it/kpdp7ntjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22c22cd9e13d131c0701fc6d525f9805f4cf55ba https://preview.redd.it/g783sztjzf4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=501b78be6610a54e141dec8cff7f60681cd5e64d |
2023.06.06 17:41 berdel__ Gator under water MAP - where to lose it and where not.
 | We all know stories about alligators lost under water, which really happend, what creates a spooky legend "alligator hunt is so hard because they are gone under water". Yes, technically it is possible to lost them under water because this is how the game is designed, how alligators "dive and hide" mechanic is designed. However there is a huge BUT. submitted by berdel__ to reptilesofCOTW [link] [comments] My beginnig of alligator grind was hard as spooky legend says - losing gators under water, must hit neck or head. I was trying, exploring, taking that pain, taking my lessons, analysing and planing how to make things just easier. After some time I got all pieces together and got a new concept how to try grinding them and not to lose them under water. Now, when I'm absolute in love od grinding them, after over 1700 kills, I have a lot of arguments and final conclusions, which can denify a lot of problems and mistakes of most of players trying hunt gators. The same mistakes and problems with I had to deal and which I did. There was no easy way out on beginnig. It can be unpopular opinion, annoying one, making some ppl salty, but we have to say it loud - losing alligators under water is mainly an effect of bad shot placement. I don't care what kind of shot - gator hunt don't tolerate bad shots. Bad head or neck shot which don't instant kills is bad shot, bad shot at lungs, which ends in leg or not in lungs is mess. If you can't take perfect shot on gator, you are taking NO SHOT - that's all. Your job is to make everything to get to place and time for perfect shot. End of story. Of course we can blame the game about allowing that kind of problem. So of course, reason is not bad shot, reason is, because gators can be gone under water, right? Just let us hit them like we want, no matter good or not, let us make them complete mess and please give me my gator from water back.. Is this the way? This game mechanic should be not working like that but even if it is what it is there is possibility to hunt them efficient with fun and with no problems. And this mechanic makes gator hunt 'easy to start but hard to master' and gators as animal 'easy to hit but hard to get'. Which is something special in COTW. It is absloute another level and world of hunting compare to white tails or any other ground animal. As I wrote - I killed over 1700 gators. My way is to (only) lung shots. In my opinion neck and head shooting is only a space for making huge mistakes (specially on very long ranges), letting them reach the water and losing them there. Because WOUNDED AND SLOW DYING ALLIGATOR WILL BE ALMOST ALWAYS A UNDER WATER LOST ALLIGATOR. But - perfect hitted gator is not a lost one. The reason is here how deep are waters on hunting spots. If they have to much time to dive and reaching the deepest spots, they will be gone - that's the reason why bad shots giving them time to dive that deep (more details in my YT video). Now, why am I mentoning my number of kills? Because I let all alligators run in water! I even want them run in water to easier collecting them! I have absolutely no stress about gator in water. So far I lost ONLY 45 (saying my newest notes) gators under water. 10 of them because I really lost them even with beeing sure spot is safe or low risk. But just think about it - 10 of 1700. It is marginal. 35 of them were lost because I was lazy - there were just bad shots or I just could do more to avoid their reaching the very worst spots. For example - in near of 'black hole' spot I could take (last chance solution) neck shot or just make more effort for double lungs. But no - I was lazy and took bad shot and I was not angry or suprised it was lost. Or I just kill them 'anyhow' - you know, grinding right on some days. So, after all that kills and taking gators from water (aside some hundreds killed on ground on short ranges) I got some experiences where you can lose gator under water and where not. And I give you that knowledge on a plate to stop talking all over "yOu haVe tO lOsT gaToR unDEr WaTeR". Because you don't have. KEEP in mind - this map will be working like that only if gator dies in the marked point after a one perfect vital shot. Hurting them, messing them up, machine gunning them will not making this map works. And I'm thinking about guns with class 4-8 ammo and 4-9 ammo like M1 or zarza .308. (in case someone is planning to rush gators with ranger or solokhin - no, it will not work) The colours of spots*:
https://preview.redd.it/t0t81elx3f4b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a21dea54746dafa6269f66f8afcb0a09f2a164e7 https://preview.redd.it/kv3760wkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7507e2f6ffc414634ad73ccb48ecac388e54b7f9 https://preview.redd.it/nfqvpswkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9375c43582dd9ae4fc61bd4e67c2d098ad4b32d8 https://preview.redd.it/jpz306wkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ea094ea2aa3c118d614165851c8baf4022cf543 https://preview.redd.it/4erbvqwkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffc49bad11ed5cdaa5fb839767e2da1c610d490a https://preview.redd.it/l7rqk3wkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23b958b3e80745e6f39ecf72ece06ce5cb08edec https://preview.redd.it/4d0jduwkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=131fa6d1f2e785cc8a04ac2b2f263044d89883fa https://preview.redd.it/n6xbnzwkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ef09cbd7ed5c7f401e3636724708e5b11b64584 https://preview.redd.it/mzekgrwkye4b1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86c3d7a422e848cacd1ba21fd1b8cb58ffc893da |
2023.06.06 17:31 Kadkata_the_Great Tips on climbing with Gwen and her role in the team.
https://u.gg/lol/profile/eun1/lmperatooverview
Hello, I am a Gwen main that recently hit Masters for first time playing on a 10 years old forgotten by the MMR gods account with abysmal LP win-lose ratio bringing it up from Bronze to Masters in 457 games with 57% WR overall and 62% WR on Gwen from 301 games. This post has few purposes:
Void Staff When more than a few enemies have MR items. Overall increses damage. %pen is strong. Frequent build after Rabadon.
Lich Bane Good for faster splitpushing or nuking their squishies with E->AUTO. I recommend as last buy or sell boots to buy this when you have enough gold at full build.
Shadowflame vs frequent shielding and squishier teams. Good AP ammount and pen. I would buy this against a fed ADC with enchanter support.
Zhonya's Hourglass vs fed AD assassins or generally AD heavy teams.
Morellonomicon vs teams with a lot of healing. I never build this.
Thornmail vs AD heavy teams that also have a lot of healing. Occassional purchase.
Randuin's Omen vs teams that have a lot of damage from critical strikes. Example: Yone top, Yasuo mid and Draven ADC.
Spirit Visage vs teams with a lot of AP damage and prolonged fights. I do not build.
Force of Nature vs teams with a lot of AP damage. Generally better than Spirit Visage.
Abyssal Mask Great cheap item vs a lot of AP damage and when you have 2-3 AP on yours.
There are other items that could work like Wit's End or Death's Dance but it is extremely rare that it would be a better choice than any of the items above.
Teleport is too useful not to take every game. For second spell I go Ignite for most games. Take Ghost if the kill pressure on lane is small AND the rest of their team is very mobile/ranged, for example a Malphite top lane with Kalista Rakan botlane, Azir mid and Hecarim jungle. That is a comp that you pick Ghost against. If the enemy team doesn't have a lot of mobility or you have easy lane on top then you should take Ignite. Makes tower dives much easier.
submitted by Kadkata_the_Great to GwenMains [link] [comments]
Hello, I am a Gwen main that recently hit Masters for first time playing on a 10 years old forgotten by the MMR gods account with abysmal LP win-lose ratio bringing it up from Bronze to Masters in 457 games with 57% WR overall and 62% WR on Gwen from 301 games. This post has few purposes:
- Share disagreements I have with common points on this subreddit - about Gwen's role in the team, her itemization, her strengths and weaknesses.
- Give certain formulaic tips that will help you cheese games even if you don't really understand why on the grand scale of things. This is not a guide on becoming a very good player, it's a guide on climbing the ranks with Gwen.
- Link it everytime someone asks what is Gwen's role in the team and how to play her.
BAD takes that you should not follow
- Shadowflame instead of Nashor's Tooth - Gwen's strengths are splitpushing and she does this extremely well. Trying to turn her into an assassin with items that harm her splitpushing potential is counterproductive. Enemies in Plat, Diamond and Master aren't beasts that can evade all your abilities. They are inters, just like almost everyone in soloqueue. Chances are you will never meet a truly great player in the enemy lobby or have one in your team. Once they are slowed down by your ultimates first cast, it is trivial chasing them down and finishing them off. There's no reason to build her like a C tier assassin when full duelist splitpusher build will do the same damage in teamfights. You will just get your damage items faster, because the splitpusher playstyle generates more gold.
- Ignore Rabadon in favor of X - Third item Rabadon is what allows Gwen to turn around games and turn from an okay teamfighter to a great one when the player uses their ult well. After buying Rabadon she can 100 to 0 anyone who didnt build more than 1 MR item. Rabadon is what allows you to dive their fed 500g bounty player 1v2 and kill him.
- Gwen has bad early game - It might take a bunch of games to see it, but when Gwen early is played correctly, she has better pre 6 than most enemy toplaners who are supposed to be stronger early. Her Q damage is very high, low cooldown, has mobility, increased ranged, untargetability, increased resists, ability to poke without drawing minion aggro. Noone will punish your champions vulnerabilities even in Masters. Two big reasons for it: Gwen is a rare pick and the enemy doesn't know what to expect from you, and because majority of players Masters and below haven't learned all aspects of the game equally well. They have learned to play into very specific things that allow them to win games (exactly what I do with Gwen). Whether its one tricking champions, very good vision and macro, great mechanics - it doesn't matter. They will start inting as hard as a Bronze would when you throw a wrench in their plans. More often than not they start to play a bit more careful when trading with you if you scare them with a great trade early on in the game which allows you to punish them even harder.
- Play safe and farm up for late game - If you just hug your turret, avoid fighting and prioritize on last hitting minions, then you will miss out on the snowball opportunity from plating and turret gold. It is a very suboptimal way to play Gwen.
- Riftmaker is a bad mythic on Gwen - Very common argument that I have read here is that Riftmaker is a bad mythic. That it has awkward stats or there are tankier options, items with more mobility, with more damage etc. Riftmakers main strength over any other mythic is the omnivamp it provides. The omnivamp is crucial for those 1v2 and 1v3 fights that you will be often fighting when playing very aggressively. The healing increase is miniscule, but it is enough to have an impact. Yes, you can fight enemies when outnumbered with other mythics too, but going anything other than Riftmaker takes away from your potential to be hyperaggressive. Going Riftmaker also creates an illusion for the enemy in which you are far squishier than you actually are which has helped me secure many victories after enemies get baited into fighting me. The health, AP, ability haste, omnivamp, increased damage, true damage - all of this works great on Gwen.
Key concepts that you have to understand to make this playstyle work for you
- Plates - 15 plates, each worth 175 gold. Consistently you can get around 5 plates per game which is 875g + 300g from turret kill + 150g from first turret = 1250g - more than 4 kills worth. Gold generated through plating does not grow your shutdown gold. Plates are better than kills for this reason. It is worth it to die for plates if minute 14 is about to hit (Plates despawn on minute 14).
- Inner turrets on side lanes ( second turret on bot and top ) - Destroying a secondary turret alone gives you 600g total. With demolish rune and completed Nashor's Tooth you need just a few seconds to push the turret. If you have vision on more than half the enemy team then it is risk free gold.
- Herald - Taking herald gives you 300g and the herald eye which can help you get either plates or inner turrets.
- Splitpush - Allows you to push the inner turrets and reach their inhibitor if the enemy team does 1 macro mistake. Sometimes when you take the inner turret the enemy team won't respond to your threat hoping that you will just give up and recall. If that happens you continue to push onto the inhibitor turret. In other situations your team will be 4v5 at drake and spam pinging you to TP. That can be the correct play but more often than not I decide to ignore the pings and keep on pushing. This often results in the enemy splitting up in the middle of the fight to try to do both drake and also protect their inhibitor and base. Your team might win the drake fight this way and you got yourself a free turret or two. Your team might also get completely wiped on drake, but that gives you more time to push. Maybe you even get to take 1 nexus turret. Gwen with Riftmaker, Nashor's Tooth, Rabadon Deathcap and demolish melts turrets in seconds.
- Nexus turret pressure - When inhibitor goes down you often have the opportunity to damage or destroy one of the nexus turrets. It is good to destroy one as it allows for you to no minion push the last nexus turret at a later time and cheese the game.
- Lobby pick order - Always try to be last pick in the lobby. Chances are your Silver, Gold, Plat etc. teammates aren't the most proactive players and they won't benefit as much as you would from being last pick. You don't want to blind pick and end up playing vs Akshan or Fiora. You don't necessarily have to counterpick the enemy, but you don't want to be counterpicked. If you aggressively spam the "Swap Pick Order" button it is possible your teammate won't give it to you out of spite later if he declined the first time. Which is why if that person declined once, wait for the enemy team to pick a few times. Then you notify them in chat that their lane opponent picked and if they can swap with you. There are 3 other people in the team so you don't always have to instantly go for last pick either. Try to weasel your way down slowly by asking those directly after you if last pick doesn't work out from first attempt. If blindpicking is unavoidable then pray the enemy is clueless.
- Playing hyper aggressive and money hunger - Sometimes it happens that your botlane goes 0/7 in the first 10 minutes of the game and enemy ADC is very ahead. This shouldn't make you play safer. If the enemy bot has 500g shutdown on their head then if there is an opportunity it is better to dive them 1v3 with the chance of getting that shutdown bounty rather than playing safe. Whenever you are forced to teamfight your primary goal is to get all the shutdown bounties on the enemy team. Gwen loves AP and AP costs gold. The more gold the better. It is okay to die if it means that you also got gold. Because gold on you is way stronger than gold on their champions. There are exceptions to this. For example if you are very fed with kills and have 700g shutdown on your head then it is not wise to jump in a suicidal fight when moments later a better opportunity will arise.
- Number of games played - Keep spamming Gwen and Gwen only. Play her against every matchup on top atleast a few times to know what your champion can do and what you can do. Don't wildly change your runes every few games. Stick to the same runepage. With time you will see and understand the key moments in the game where you can dish out the exact ammount of damage to kill an enemy and survive. Whether you can push down a lane, greed for a turret and get out of it alive. Whether you can jump in 1v4 and survive.
Tricks that you might or might not be aware of:
- Gwen Q does not trigger minion aggro if you do not autoattack so you can harrass through a wave.
- You can queue up an autoattack if you right click the target during the Q animation and if you are in range it will instantly autoattack when Q cast ends. Works great with E -> Q right at the end of your attack range to do a little bit of extra damage. This will trigger minion aggro.
- Going 2x Blasting Wand on a back with 1700g is better than going Leeching Leer ingredients in majority of cases. It helps you do as much damage as you would with a completed Riftmaker but way earlier into the game helping you snowball harder. Also you can push turret plates way faster with the extra AP. The second blasting wand can later be used for building into Nashor's Tooth. I prefer going Riftmaker first because it makes you tankier and allows you to do easier 1v2 plays when you get ganked.
- Your W can be used to tank Baron and Dragon attacks if you cast it at the proper location where the edge is right infront of the monster without touching it.
- You can use your W to push turrets and plates even if its protected by the enemy. If you are ahead of your laner and the wave is crashing on his turrent you can walk up and cast your W in a place where its edge allows you to autoattack the turret without moving the W. This way if the enemy wants to push you off, they have to walk directly into you which accomplishes 2 things: gives you an opportunity for an easier dive and/or the enemy misses a bunch of farm trying to protect their plates.
- If you are ahead you can skip completing your boots item and stick with normal boots or no boots at all. The speed difference hardly makes a difference in the early game but you can get your item spikes way earlier. Your slow from your R and your dash are more than enough to stick to targets.
- When you are trying to push a structure as fast as possible E on top of yourself immediately after your autoattack completes. Your dash is not a fixed distance and you can dash very small distances which is a quicker way to reset your E AS buff.
- Gwen Q executes minions below 20% HP which works on super minions too. This makes her one of the fastest clearers of super minions in the game and guarantees that you will get the 90g from them if there are teammates present.
- Even if your minion wave is very small when you are approaching a turret, it is worth it to push it. After Rabadon all you need is 2-3 minions to push a turret safely. You might tank a few shots but the damage reduction that turrets get without minions doesn't apply instantly the minion dies. You have time to push the turret.
- You can cast E while you are casting Q. This will move the damaging area of the Q together with you. Can be used in many situations that require it. For example if both you and the enemy are on low HP and you have pushed the wave into his turret. If you dive him with the standard E -> Q he might react, flash away and CC you. But if you pretend to be cleaning out his minions with Q and then E towards him right before the final snip which deals the most damage it is unlikely he will expect that and be able to react to it.
- Jump in a fight right when you are about to level up. If you are leading your enemy on XP then the level up from 5 to 6 often enables a kill opportunity. Learn to level up your spells with your keyboard, not a mouse click. Watching other people play in real life, I notice that even some mechanically good players keep using mouse clicks to level up their spells. When playing Gwen this should become a habit. You level up -> you rank up spell - even if you are in the middle of the fight. It happens frequently because of her AOE spells killing a few minions in the middle of the fight or you were just randomly near a level up. It has happened too many times where a level up in a spell that I did in the middle of the fight saves my life and changes how the rest of the game goes.
Build
CORE ITEMS:
Riftmaker
Nashor's Tooth
Rabadon's Deathcap
I build in this order in >90% of my games. Go Nashor first if splitpushing is going to be completely uncontested. Start Doran's Ring unless its against a lot of poke in which case go Doran's Shield. Do not buy HP Pots, only buy refillable.FOLLOW UP OPTIONS:
Cosmic Drive Good AP, CDR, speed. Frequent build after Rabadon.Void Staff When more than a few enemies have MR items. Overall increses damage. %pen is strong. Frequent build after Rabadon.
Lich Bane Good for faster splitpushing or nuking their squishies with E->AUTO. I recommend as last buy or sell boots to buy this when you have enough gold at full build.
Shadowflame vs frequent shielding and squishier teams. Good AP ammount and pen. I would buy this against a fed ADC with enchanter support.
Zhonya's Hourglass vs fed AD assassins or generally AD heavy teams.
Morellonomicon vs teams with a lot of healing. I never build this.
Thornmail vs AD heavy teams that also have a lot of healing. Occassional purchase.
Randuin's Omen vs teams that have a lot of damage from critical strikes. Example: Yone top, Yasuo mid and Draven ADC.
Spirit Visage vs teams with a lot of AP damage and prolonged fights. I do not build.
Force of Nature vs teams with a lot of AP damage. Generally better than Spirit Visage.
Abyssal Mask Great cheap item vs a lot of AP damage and when you have 2-3 AP on yours.
There are other items that could work like Wit's End or Death's Dance but it is extremely rare that it would be a better choice than any of the items above.
BOOTS:
I have bought all boots on Gwen except mobility boots. It is very dependant on enemy champions and how ahead I am. Usually I buy Mercs into a lot of CC, Steelcaps into AD heavy teams and Lucidity boots if I am very ahead.RUNES AND SUMMONER SPELLS:
These runes will be most useful to you in majority of games. Swap armor and MR runes depending on your matchup. Go Second Wind instead of Conditioning vs poke matchups like Teemo or Gangplank. I like to pick Bone Plating against burst champions like Pantheon or Renekton. I climbed from Bronze to Diamond without Demolish, but my climb would have been way easier if I went Demolish instead of Unflinching due to the extra plates it can secure. I take it every game now. Presence of Mind is unnecessary and Triumph enables you to fight multiple enemies easier. It also gives you 20g per takedown extra which at the end of the game if you had 15 takedowns ends up being 300g. In my many games playing Gwen I can recall only a few times I wished I got Presence of Mind over Triumph. If you are nearing 0 mana then shove wave and walk up in river to get green slime plant.Teleport is too useful not to take every game. For second spell I go Ignite for most games. Take Ghost if the kill pressure on lane is small AND the rest of their team is very mobile/ranged, for example a Malphite top lane with Kalista Rakan botlane, Azir mid and Hecarim jungle. That is a comp that you pick Ghost against. If the enemy team doesn't have a lot of mobility or you have easy lane on top then you should take Ignite. Makes tower dives much easier.
NOTES:
I cheese my games. I play around my enemy's mental and abuse Gwen's strengths. The account I played on was hardstuck Gold for many seasons, sometimes ending in Silver. My mental is not strong, I ran it down many times out of spite towards a teammate. My average vision score is 2x lower than that of an average Iron player. Despite all this my climb was steady with the exception of spending a decent ammount of time and games in D1, because I relaxed too much in my games. My point is that if I manage to climb like this, so can you. Just follow the template each game:- Pre min 14: Get plates, plates, plates, shove waves, try to get herald if theres good opportunity, if not shove wave get plates.
- After min 14: Inner turrets! Bot and top, when you see 3 people on enemy team on one side of map, you go to the opposite and push the lane.
- Don't walk around aimlessly on map, walk up that sidelane and push the wave. Repeat.
- Enemies are guarding their towers too well? Farm their jungle. Join up for teamfights only if it is absolutely necessary. You will know which are if you keep playing the same runes, items and champion every game.
2023.06.06 16:46 Trans_Muffin1302 Just a small warning to my fellow console players who have Royal Court
Might just be me, but I've found a bug(?) where whenever you completely exit the game (as in, it's not in Quick Resume) the game completely resets your settings to the default options. Including your auto-save interval choice. I set mine to monthly, and every time I properly close the game by accident, its back to yearly. Just keep an eye out in case this might affect any of you, can be a bummer if you want to be careful with saves and that 😁
Happy crusading guys!
submitted by Trans_Muffin1302 to CK3ConsoleEdition [link] [comments]
Happy crusading guys!
2023.06.06 14:51 Tappioo Did the clinic overestimated the necessary graft amount? What is your opinion on this matter?
 | Hello everyone, submitted by Tappioo to HairTransplants [link] [comments] I have been a follower of this subreddit for some time now. The prospect of losing hair doesn't particularly terrify me (please do not come with shave it off bro, I would do it, if I would like to). However, I find myself in a situation where it has become increasingly difficult to style my remaining hair. Additionally, dealing with the reflection in the mirror has started to bother me. Therefore, I have made the decision to explore the possibility of undergoing a hair transplant. I understand that it is a surgical procedure that requires careful planning, so I have been in contact with reputable clinics. I am leaning towards choosing HLC in Ankara, Turkey as my preferred clinic. However, the number of grafts they suggested seemed excessive to me, not because of financial reasons, but because of future planning of hair esthetic. Initially, they mentioned that 3,500 grafts would be necessary. I explained to them that my goal is not to drastically lower my hairline or regain the hair I had in my teenage years. Instead, I want to enhance the density at the front, address the asymmetry in my hairline caused by hair loss, and possibly consider a slight hairline adjustment if there are enough grafts available. My estimation was around 2,500 or max 2700 grafts. I would appreciate your input on this matter. Do you think 2,500 grafts would be too few, potentially leading to low density and bad esthetics, or do you believe the clinic may have overstated the required number of grafts? Thank you very much for your response. P.S: I am 33 y. o. male and have been taking finasteride for a year and started using minoxidil a month ago. While the hair loss has not completely stopped, the progression has significantly slowed down. https://preview.redd.it/3laof2u8ae4b1.jpg?width=3508&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43a095267bc04e5b4f09443db67bf088d2f4f15a |