Lyrics van morrison days like this

My boyfriend (31M) and I (27F) have been together for 2.5 years. He is very sweet and supportive of me always. However, I am very insecure and have jealousy issues. In the beginning of our relationship my bf told me that he had been with 5 other people. I questioned him a lot about those people and couldn’t let it go. I made him feel very uncomfortable with everything from his past. One day we got in an argument, I thought my bf and I were broken up and I went out with a guy friend and we had sex which I didn’t enjoy at all (I told him to stop and he didn’t). I came back to my bf that night crying. I obviously didn’t tell my boyfriend but instead I made up a story and said that I was abused by someone. My bf felt awful and the next day he told me he had been lying about something. He told me that he had been lying about the number of people he had been with. He told me that he had actually only been with 1 person before but he lied because he was ashamed of not having a lot of experience and thought that I would judge him in the beginning of our relationship. He also said that all the constant questioning made him feel like he couldn’t be honest with me and instead doubled down. I still haven’t told my bf the truth that I slept with another guy the day we argued and kinda broke up. I constantly keep asking my bf if he is actually lying to me about the number of people he had sex with in the past. He keeps telling me he isn’t lying anymore and it was just 1 before me, but I keep thinking that he is lying and it was actually 5. I’m wondering if I am projecting big time here because of what I did before he admitted the truth? Is this projection from my part because I’ve been hiding that I had sex with someone else?

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It all started about 9 months ago. I got a wild idea to combine cannabis with breathwork exercises. After a while a red vortex appeared and different things would show up in the middle of it. At first it was stars, then a purple flame, and then random scenes would appear. Nothing special. It was usually people going about their day to day lives. A busy crosswalk in some metro area and group fighting in the UK are a couple of examples. It always felt like I was there but not there... if that makes any sense.
This went on for a while and I thought that maybe I'd be able to control it and see what I wanted to see. I started out with the intent of seeing a beach. Next thing I know I've got a flying bird's perspective of dotted islands in Thailand. Then I focused on underground military bases in Antarctica (I know how wild that sounds but I wanted to see). Next thing I know I'm a fly on the wall in this harshly lit tunnel with two military personnel walking past me. One looked at me like he knew I was there. This happens a lot.
After some time I was able to do it completely sober and sometimes spontaneously. It happened the same way every time. I close my eyes. The red vortex forms. Images appear inside. It even got to the point where I could do it with my eyes open.
A couple of times I was able to see energy rising off of my body. I could even see it radiating off my shadow. Lastly, I could see my body with my eyes closed. Blindfolded I could put my hand out in front of me face and see the silhouette of it and even the glimmer of the ring I was wearing.
​
I know all of this sounds absolutely ridiculous. Does any of this sound familiar to any of you (specifically the vortex)? I trumped it up to the result of my meditation/mystic practices but I'm not sure.

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Please help me share my go fund me, I really appreciate it guys. In case you don't click links, here is my story.https://www.gofundme.com/f/fired-for-attending-brothers-funeral-need-lawyerMy name is Ethan Wiley, and after spending 7 years in prison for defending myself against an armed assailant, I was released on parole November 21st, 2022 and began trying to rebuild my life as best I could. I have a community college degree and over a dozen certificates in drug and relationship counceling. The first thing I had to do was get a job, and after a few months of searching, I did, at the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers.
​
Unfortunately, I was fired from Pilot Flying J for attending my brothers funeral, reinstated, then fired again after severely injuring my ankle a few days before I was to return to work.
​
On the morning of February 10th, while at work as a maintence worker at the Flying J Travel Center in Lebec, California, I was notified of my 32 Year old brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr's passing. Fortunately it was at the end of my shift, so I was able to go home and cry alone. I did not have the mental stability to inform my work of the situation at the time, so that night when I went back to my 12am-8am shift, I informed my manager, who told me to inform the general manager and ask them about how to get time off to go to his funeral. The GM shows up at 6am, and when he did, after a full nights work of cleaning gas pumps, oil spills and trash in 10 degree weather (without a jacket I might add, as the GM refused to provide me with one) I immediately asked him if I could speak to him in private, to which he blew me off so he could have coffee for another hour and a half. At 7:30am, he finally found the time to speak to me, and I broke down into hysterical sobbing and he told me I had to step away and gather myself. Once I was able to stop crying, I explained the situation and that my brother lived in Texas (I live in California) and so I will need time off to go to his funeral and help with preparations for the services and the burial. His response was that I should call in when I find out what days I need off, but that there was a corporate inspection this Thursday (we were speaking on February 11th, the tuesday before the inspection) and that he needed me to be at work that morning to get everything ready.
​
This guy showed me no commiseration or sympathies, just telling me that no matter what, regardless of my closest brother just passing away, he wanted me at work Thursday. They offered me no time off whatsoever to even get over the shock of my brothers untimely passing.
​
After his kind, compassionate words of support, he then requested that I go do several more things outside my job description before I went home that day, and for me "not to do anything stupid". So I did, and returned home to begin figuring out how to get to Texas and be with my family.
​
Later that day, after work, I found out that I had to fly out on Friday, and so regardless of his wishes, I would have to miss his corporate inspection to prepare.
​
I called the General Manager, and informed him that I would need a total of 7 days off to prepare and attend the services, which included the next 2 days (Thursday and Friday). His response was an exasperated sigh and then a solid tongue lashing about how he already informed me that I needed to be at work on Thursday because he has been understaffed and theres stuff that he wanted me to clean that noone had done since before I started working there. I apologized profusely for messing up his plans, but asserted that there was nothing I can do. Its my brother. I HAVE to go to his funeral and I NEEDED to be with my family. The GM gave another frustrated huff and puff, then told me "We have to have a talk when you get back" and hung up on me. I spent the next several hours crying for my brother, and worrying about losing my job.
​
How was I supposed to help pay for aservices, funeral and burial that noone in my family could afford, if I had just lost my job for going to the funeral?
​
What would you have done in this situation? What would anyone? Did my showing up at work the day after my brothers death not show my commitment to my job? Unfortunately for me it did not matter, as I later found out that the GM was out to get me from the beginning, and that he never wanted to hire me in the first place.
​
A few days later, after sleepless nights and grieving for the loss of my brother, I recieved a notice of my final paycheck being submitted to my checking account, and when I called a coworker, they said that an email had gone out informing everyone of my termination.
​
So, it was true. I had hoped I was just misunderstanding his words, but now I knew. Words cannot describe the crushing, heartbroken emptiness I fealt at that moment. I have never suffered so much, as I did in that one week, compared to 7 years in prison. How this man could live with himself after doing this to someone is beyond me, and I find myself crying even now as I remember how bad the next few days, and the upcoming funeral were. I had no choice but to make a gofundme just to help pay for my brothers funeral, as I had already gone into debt, and now that I had no job, I couldn't afford to even pay for my plane ticket, let alone help pay for funeral services or burial.
​
After returning home the next week, I found out through calling Human Resources that I had been reinstated or the termination stopped. Apparently the other managers had informed the GM that what he was trying to do to me was illegal. I was happy, but I knew it didn't matter, the GM had proven he was out to get me, and even admitted at my hiring that it was because he really needed someone and the other managers who had known me outside of work and their refferences were the only reason he was hiring me.
​
I was correct. I was set to return to work on a wednesday, and the sunday before I slipped on an unfamiliar step and hurt my ankle severely. I waited until Tuesday before deciding that there was no way I could work on an ankle this badly hurt, at which point I called my boss and explained the situation. I thought of a compromise that would prevent me from actually missing any work, and explained it to my boss. I had never recieved any training for my position other than a person showing me that basics of how to clean this or that, and there are videos we are supposed to watch that are part of our mandatory paid training. I offered to come in and complete the training I never recieved, and my boss thought it was a great idea, but had to call the GM to make sure it was ok. After she called him, she informed me that the GM didn't want me to come in while I was injured, and instead told me to stay home until I see a doctor, and that we would figure things out after.
​
I had an appointment scheduled for the upcoming monday, and after meeting with the doctor he advised I stay off my feet for a minimum of 5 days, and for me to see him on the 6th day. I asked him for a copy of his report and dropped it off at work, speaking with my direct boss and giving her a copy of the report, and was told to call them again after they time is up and I speak to my doctor. Once again, I did exactly as instructed. After the 5 days my ankle was still extremely swollen and painful, and so my Doctor set me up for Xrays and MRIs. I then called my boss and informed her of the severity of the issue and that I would likely need to take a medical leave, to which I was told no problem just keep them updated. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
​
I recieved a call a few days later after my first Xray, which showed no break but alot of swelling, which indicates tendon damage, from a Human Resources agent, who informed me that my request for Medical Leave had been denied, and instead I had been terminated from my employment with Pilot Flying J travel centers. When I asked why I was being fired, I was informed that on Thursday March 14th I had not called in to inform my boss that I would not be at work, and was listed as a no show/no call. Even the HR representative knew and verified that this was during the time that I was injured and waiting to see the doctor after I had already called an notified my boss and the GM of the situation and when my appointment was, and I was not supposed to call in every single day or so my boss and the GM had told me.
​
I never called in on any of the days I was off, because my work told me not to and that I didnt have to because I had already spoken to my boss and verified I would not be there until a certain date.
​
So after all of this, as a worker who recieved nothing but complaints, I was fired for doing what I was told.
​
I had been a model employee, filling in when others could not make it to work do to emergency or snow hazard, recieving numerous praise from customers, several of which spoke to the GM of how impressed they were at the new staff.
​
I immediately sought an attorney, and was matched with a group called Abramsons Labor Group. Who told me I have a no brainer case and would win with no issue, and that I should try to settle to make it quick if I needed the money. These people said that 50% was the standard rate for cases like this, and continued to pressure me to settle as quickly as possible. I did not want to, and after being strung along for several months, being scheduled for numerous attorney visits with different attorneys through the law group, this last week I finally had it our agreement terminated. Only after this was I provided with copys of my employee file that had been turned over to Abramsons by Pilot/FlyingJ. Here I discovered several manipulations, all of which are obvious but obfuscate the situation to where it makes any lawyer looking for a quick buck turn away, because it will take them a few minutes of work to prove the falsifications.
​
The GM even had the gull to add fake reports to my employee file, all of which were supposedly presented to me to sign, but have never been signed by ANYONE, let alone me, a witness, nor the gm himself! He literally just wrote up a few reports and put them in my file to make me look bad, but forgot to sign them.
​
I need help. I need to hire an actual attorney who will represent me and help me take this to a trial. I want people to be aware of what this company and scumbags like the General Manager who made me suffer like this are doing to people like me. They saw me as an ex convict parolee they can just take advantage of, use and abuse, and treat me like garbage. They never bothered to train me because they knew they didnt want to keep me.
​
Any funds donated will be used strictly for legal fees, and since I would not have to pay a portion of the awarded funds to an attorney, I will instead donate that money to several different charitys in my brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr: my local food bank, Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.
​
Please, anything you can do to help support my cause is better than nothing. Dimes, Nickels, Pennys, everything helps. Help me move forward and make a difference in not just my and my families, but the lives of everyone who has been hurt and sufffered because of the careless nature of the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers management.
​
For anyone who has come this far, I have included my employee file. I would also like to note that they have also taken out the praises I recieved from at least 2 different customers who were astounded at the quality of my work and customer service.
​
am i the asshole? I feel like this is a totally legitimate reason for requesting assistance but I feel dirty for doing it. I am broke, borrowing money just to pay rent, and the "pro bono" law groups are trying to just get me to take a deal for quick cash. I want.

This is my first post so please forgive/educate me on any etiquette issues.
Apologize for the rant but I needed to get this of my chest.
About a month ago my wife joined the satanic temple and is a sex church under some guy named Thor. They don’t believe in magic but do ritualistic sex stuff like getting in the shower on a zoom call with 5 people as they watch you. I have plenty of audio recordings of her talking and doing other things with these people and she is straight face denying everything and calling me crazy. I’ve set up a couples counseling session and plan to bring the recording to the meeting. I now have enough to with out a doubt prove this shit but also have details on a lot of the “clients” she’s been taking for Thor. They sometimes use a voice changer but I’ve been able to reverse much of it. I’m damn near a sound engineer now. I’ve recently spoken with her again and went into detail about some of the events that I couldn’t possible know unless I know, and told her even through all this I would still try to make it work but you need to chose me and our family. She said “ knowing all this, how could you still want me?” I replied that she is my partner and the mother of my kids and we need to make it work for them. She got teary eyed then stop speaking. After she collected herself she told me she “worried I have a brain tumor”. That night she went back in the shower and got the group on a call explaining that I know a lot. They told her to call it a hoax and play tough now. The woman of the group was apparently outed by some dude a year before so they have an idea of how to deal with this situation. They call me “the husband” and some how know when I walk up to the bathroom door (I assume my wife gave them access to our ring devices). Since then, at least twice daily she contacts these people for video sex on the toilet… yeah that aspect is included as well, also using metal nail and face tools. I don’t think I need to elaborate further. She’s a SAHM and I work about 50-60 hours a week. I don’t know what to do. With out my boys I would be completely lost but they are my tether. I’m sad they are picking up on the situation. My youngest crawls to my side more just to be with me. My oldest(1st grader) hugs me and tells me he loves me whenever he sees me struggling. I couldn’t eat for 4 days and lost 25lbs over those 4 days. I’ve just recently regained an appetite Please give me some wisdom. I can’t even cry anymore. I’m already considering contacting a lawyer.

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Please help me share my go fund me, I really appreciate it guys. In case you don't click links, here is my story.https://www.gofundme.com/f/fired-for-attending-brothers-funeral-need-lawyerMy name is Ethan Wiley, and after spending 7 years in prison for defending myself against an armed assailant, I was released on parole November 21st, 2022 and began trying to rebuild my life as best I could. I have a community college degree and over a dozen certificates in drug and relationship counceling. The first thing I had to do was get a job, and after a few months of searching, I did, at the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers.
​
Unfortunately, I was fired from Pilot Flying J for attending my brothers funeral, reinstated, then fired again after severely injuring my ankle a few days before I was to return to work.
​
On the morning of February 10th, while at work as a maintence worker at the Flying J Travel Center in Lebec, California, I was notified of my 32 Year old brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr's passing. Fortunately it was at the end of my shift, so I was able to go home and cry alone. I did not have the mental stability to inform my work of the situation at the time, so that night when I went back to my 12am-8am shift, I informed my manager, who told me to inform the general manager and ask them about how to get time off to go to his funeral. The GM shows up at 6am, and when he did, after a full nights work of cleaning gas pumps, oil spills and trash in 10 degree weather (without a jacket I might add, as the GM refused to provide me with one) I immediately asked him if I could speak to him in private, to which he blew me off so he could have coffee for another hour and a half. At 7:30am, he finally found the time to speak to me, and I broke down into hysterical sobbing and he told me I had to step away and gather myself. Once I was able to stop crying, I explained the situation and that my brother lived in Texas (I live in California) and so I will need time off to go to his funeral and help with preparations for the services and the burial. His response was that I should call in when I find out what days I need off, but that there was a corporate inspection this Thursday (we were speaking on February 11th, the tuesday before the inspection) and that he needed me to be at work that morning to get everything ready.
​
This guy showed me no commiseration or sympathies, just telling me that no matter what, regardless of my closest brother just passing away, he wanted me at work Thursday. They offered me no time off whatsoever to even get over the shock of my brothers untimely passing.
​
After his kind, compassionate words of support, he then requested that I go do several more things outside my job description before I went home that day, and for me "not to do anything stupid". So I did, and returned home to begin figuring out how to get to Texas and be with my family.
​
Later that day, after work, I found out that I had to fly out on Friday, and so regardless of his wishes, I would have to miss his corporate inspection to prepare.
​
I called the General Manager, and informed him that I would need a total of 7 days off to prepare and attend the services, which included the next 2 days (Thursday and Friday). His response was an exasperated sigh and then a solid tongue lashing about how he already informed me that I needed to be at work on Thursday because he has been understaffed and theres stuff that he wanted me to clean that noone had done since before I started working there. I apologized profusely for messing up his plans, but asserted that there was nothing I can do. Its my brother. I HAVE to go to his funeral and I NEEDED to be with my family. The GM gave another frustrated huff and puff, then told me "We have to have a talk when you get back" and hung up on me. I spent the next several hours crying for my brother, and worrying about losing my job.
​
How was I supposed to help pay for aservices, funeral and burial that noone in my family could afford, if I had just lost my job for going to the funeral?
​
What would you have done in this situation? What would anyone? Did my showing up at work the day after my brothers death not show my commitment to my job? Unfortunately for me it did not matter, as I later found out that the GM was out to get me from the beginning, and that he never wanted to hire me in the first place.
​
A few days later, after sleepless nights and grieving for the loss of my brother, I recieved a notice of my final paycheck being submitted to my checking account, and when I called a coworker, they said that an email had gone out informing everyone of my termination.
​
So, it was true. I had hoped I was just misunderstanding his words, but now I knew. Words cannot describe the crushing, heartbroken emptiness I fealt at that moment. I have never suffered so much, as I did in that one week, compared to 7 years in prison. How this man could live with himself after doing this to someone is beyond me, and I find myself crying even now as I remember how bad the next few days, and the upcoming funeral were. I had no choice but to make a gofundme just to help pay for my brothers funeral, as I had already gone into debt, and now that I had no job, I couldn't afford to even pay for my plane ticket, let alone help pay for funeral services or burial.
​
After returning home the next week, I found out through calling Human Resources that I had been reinstated or the termination stopped. Apparently the other managers had informed the GM that what he was trying to do to me was illegal. I was happy, but I knew it didn't matter, the GM had proven he was out to get me, and even admitted at my hiring that it was because he really needed someone and the other managers who had known me outside of work and their refferences were the only reason he was hiring me.
​
I was correct. I was set to return to work on a wednesday, and the sunday before I slipped on an unfamiliar step and hurt my ankle severely. I waited until Tuesday before deciding that there was no way I could work on an ankle this badly hurt, at which point I called my boss and explained the situation. I thought of a compromise that would prevent me from actually missing any work, and explained it to my boss. I had never recieved any training for my position other than a person showing me that basics of how to clean this or that, and there are videos we are supposed to watch that are part of our mandatory paid training. I offered to come in and complete the training I never recieved, and my boss thought it was a great idea, but had to call the GM to make sure it was ok. After she called him, she informed me that the GM didn't want me to come in while I was injured, and instead told me to stay home until I see a doctor, and that we would figure things out after.
​
I had an appointment scheduled for the upcoming monday, and after meeting with the doctor he advised I stay off my feet for a minimum of 5 days, and for me to see him on the 6th day. I asked him for a copy of his report and dropped it off at work, speaking with my direct boss and giving her a copy of the report, and was told to call them again after they time is up and I speak to my doctor. Once again, I did exactly as instructed. After the 5 days my ankle was still extremely swollen and painful, and so my Doctor set me up for Xrays and MRIs. I then called my boss and informed her of the severity of the issue and that I would likely need to take a medical leave, to which I was told no problem just keep them updated. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
​
I recieved a call a few days later after my first Xray, which showed no break but alot of swelling, which indicates tendon damage, from a Human Resources agent, who informed me that my request for Medical Leave had been denied, and instead I had been terminated from my employment with Pilot Flying J travel centers. When I asked why I was being fired, I was informed that on Thursday March 14th I had not called in to inform my boss that I would not be at work, and was listed as a no show/no call. Even the HR representative knew and verified that this was during the time that I was injured and waiting to see the doctor after I had already called an notified my boss and the GM of the situation and when my appointment was, and I was not supposed to call in every single day or so my boss and the GM had told me.
​
I never called in on any of the days I was off, because my work told me not to and that I didnt have to because I had already spoken to my boss and verified I would not be there until a certain date.
​
So after all of this, as a worker who recieved nothing but complaints, I was fired for doing what I was told.
​
I had been a model employee, filling in when others could not make it to work do to emergency or snow hazard, recieving numerous praise from customers, several of which spoke to the GM of how impressed they were at the new staff.
​
I immediately sought an attorney, and was matched with a group called Abramsons Labor Group. Who told me I have a no brainer case and would win with no issue, and that I should try to settle to make it quick if I needed the money. These people said that 50% was the standard rate for cases like this, and continued to pressure me to settle as quickly as possible. I did not want to, and after being strung along for several months, being scheduled for numerous attorney visits with different attorneys through the law group, this last week I finally had it our agreement terminated. Only after this was I provided with copys of my employee file that had been turned over to Abramsons by Pilot/FlyingJ. Here I discovered several manipulations, all of which are obvious but obfuscate the situation to where it makes any lawyer looking for a quick buck turn away, because it will take them a few minutes of work to prove the falsifications.
​
The GM even had the gull to add fake reports to my employee file, all of which were supposedly presented to me to sign, but have never been signed by ANYONE, let alone me, a witness, nor the gm himself! He literally just wrote up a few reports and put them in my file to make me look bad, but forgot to sign them.
​
I need help. I need to hire an actual attorney who will represent me and help me take this to a trial. I want people to be aware of what this company and scumbags like the General Manager who made me suffer like this are doing to people like me. They saw me as an ex convict parolee they can just take advantage of, use and abuse, and treat me like garbage. They never bothered to train me because they knew they didnt want to keep me.
​
Any funds donated will be used strictly for legal fees, and since I would not have to pay a portion of the awarded funds to an attorney, I will instead donate that money to several different charitys in my brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr: my local food bank, Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.
​
Please, anything you can do to help support my cause is better than nothing. Dimes, Nickels, Pennys, everything helps. Help me move forward and make a difference in not just my and my families, but the lives of everyone who has been hurt and sufffered because of the careless nature of the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers management.
​
For anyone who has come this far, I have included my employee file. I would also like to note that they have also taken out the praises I recieved from at least 2 different customers who were astounded at the quality of my work and customer service.
​
am i the asshole? I feel like this is a totally legitimate reason for requesting assistance but I feel dirty for doing it. I am broke, borrowing money just to pay rent, and the "pro bono" law groups are trying to just get me to take a deal for quick cash. I want.

I just played a game it was literally an easy game .... but this one sweden guy _IssE just muted us since round 5 stayed afk the whole time ran alone with the bomb towards a (we all go b) just baiting all the time... then he left in 15-11 came back after we did a little comeback to 15-14 so he doesnt get a ban and just went straight to being afk again. With a bot we would've won. Its so fucking unfair i am just tring to get lvl 10 but every 2 games u get guys like this... I am just asking if its possible to get my elo back would've been very nice.
https://www.faceit.com/en/csgo/room/1-4154e5d5-5d87-4377-9902-af9640449bc9
Or atleast he can get a 2 Day ban or so, for throwing the whole game. But guess what i still love faceit even if its annoying sometimes. Guys remember always stay positive and dont be toxic, comeback is always possible hfhf.

Hey guys and gals, do any of you have any good tips on how to protect your face/skin from dust when you're sanding hardwoods outdoors?
Like a classic moron I've been half heartedly dealing with this for years and not really trying much to help it. Every time I do it I get like a massive rash, like a sunburn basically on my face/cheeks.
I always wear a nice respirator and high spf sunscreen on my face regularly, but my exposed skin still gets raw. 5 minutes of sanding is almost the same as a day out in the sun as far as a comparison. Aside from completely covering my face with wet towels does anyone got a good idea or advice please? Thanks!

Was just recently prescribed vyvanse 30 mg. It seems as though the dosage isn’t quite enough for me. And it takes way too long to actually work. I will take it at 9am and it seems like it’s not actually helping me until like the evening time maybe like 4 or 5!? Is this normal? I’m new to being prescribed for ADHD, it’s very difficult to know when it’s working, I just can’t tell much of a difference during the day. Any advice or suggestions?

AITA for killing my seventh child?
Ok so basically, I’ve already 6 kids with my partner, so we decided to have a seventh. But like, he was born all weird and unbearable, plus his existence made my second son disappear (?)
Because of this, I locked him in a empty room, ignored his tantrums and waited for him to die. Ok, he didn't die, but a social worker sprang from the beyond and took him away from me.
Practically my whole family was very sad, but two days later nobody gave a fuck. Do you think that I am right or that I should have used a condom?

It's mine and hers anniversary today and I put all my feelings into a text (long distance) telling her all the reasons why she makes me happy and just like she has done the last 2 days I've been left on read. I can't deal with anymore heartbreak but I love this girl with all my heart. I just don't know what to do

Feels bad man, I swear this game crashes at the most random of times and I feel like it's only gotten worse over the past few days. Might have to get off hardcore until the game feels more stable

Hi please help me figure this out. I live in Ontario Canada. I’m 38yo male with a wife and two kids. I daily a 2012 Audi Q5 and have a Bmw 135i convertible MHD stage 2+ for summer fun. Turbos are starting to howl at 100,000km so I’m debating…trade it in for an… f80 m3 or x3 m40, B9 Audi S4 60kCAD budget on a used car. Or Buy a new model Y awd $76kcad tax in I feel like I would miss the noise but the fuel savings would be great.
I’m a car guy. I have room to store a summer car in my garage. I enjoy the practicality of the Q5 but it’s a boring drive every day.
Keep my stable two cars or go to one?
I do my own maintenance and repairs.

I know everyone packs differently, but I’d like to get an idea per 2 weeks (14 days)? We will be in EU for roughly 15 days and we do plan to take the metro everywhere…
When we go hiking at Gorges du Fier, we have confirmed with the hotel that they can help store our luggage since we will have checked out by then.
This is a totally subjective question so please don’t hate me! I’m genuinely trying to get a gauge as I haven’t traveled internationally and commuted via public transport internationally. Thanks so much.

The day was very uncanny valley A theory you have to feel to understand. Unsettling, but not like a jump-scare more of twilight hour chill through your body.
The power was out so we colored on some printed outlines to distract ourselves. Crayon wax still chills me to the core. Somber waves through the tv and radio.
None of this felt real, yet it sometimes feels like yesterday. everything was crowded yet people moving with urgency. Something happened you could just tell we were kept in the dark until 12:00 pm.
I tilted my head as I watched it unfold feeling the cedar tree needles tingling my back.

So in two hours it will be 31 days of no Contact.
A whole effin month went by. It's so unreal somehow.
I felt so sad today, especially because he discarded me like trash after he realised I was of no use for him (he lied to me to get several thousand euros out of me, thank god I found out before I got scammed).
Before I went no Contact I reached out to him, and he again asked for money. When I didn't say yes, he immediately got rid of me again. So I can't reach out even if I wanted to.
Just sadness.. This sub helps immensely. I know all the things, but knowing isn't enough, I need others sources for affirmation. Thank you for being my source ♥️🧿

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Please help me find a place to share my go fund me, I really appreciate it guys. In case you don't click links, here is my story.https://www.gofundme.com/f/fired-for-attending-brothers-funeral-need-lawyerMy name is Ethan Wiley, and after spending 7 years in prison for defending myself against an armed assailant, I was released on parole November 21st, 2022 and began trying to rebuild my life as best I could. I have a community college degree and over a dozen certificates in drug and relationship counceling. The first thing I had to do was get a job, and after a few months of searching, I did, at the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers.
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Unfortunately, I was fired from Pilot Flying J for attending my brothers funeral, reinstated, then fired again after severely injuring my ankle a few days before I was to return to work.
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On the morning of February 10th, while at work as a maintence worker at the Flying J Travel Center in Lebec, California, I was notified of my 32 Year old brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr's passing. Fortunately it was at the end of my shift, so I was able to go home and cry alone. I did not have the mental stability to inform my work of the situation at the time, so that night when I went back to my 12am-8am shift, I informed my manager, who told me to inform the general manager and ask them about how to get time off to go to his funeral. The GM shows up at 6am, and when he did, after a full nights work of cleaning gas pumps, oil spills and trash in 10 degree weather (without a jacket I might add, as the GM refused to provide me with one) I immediately asked him if I could speak to him in private, to which he blew me off so he could have coffee for another hour and a half. At 7:30am, he finally found the time to speak to me, and I broke down into hysterical sobbing and he told me I had to step away and gather myself. Once I was able to stop crying, I explained the situation and that my brother lived in Texas (I live in California) and so I will need time off to go to his funeral and help with preparations for the services and the burial. His response was that I should call in when I find out what days I need off, but that there was a corporate inspection this Thursday (we were speaking on February 11th, the tuesday before the inspection) and that he needed me to be at work that morning to get everything ready.
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This guy showed me no commiseration or sympathies, just telling me that no matter what, regardless of my closest brother just passing away, he wanted me at work Thursday. They offered me no time off whatsoever to even get over the shock of my brothers untimely passing.
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After his kind, compassionate words of support, he then requested that I go do several more things outside my job description before I went home that day, and for me "not to do anything stupid". So I did, and returned home to begin figuring out how to get to Texas and be with my family.
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Later that day, after work, I found out that I had to fly out on Friday, and so regardless of his wishes, I would have to miss his corporate inspection to prepare.
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I called the General Manager, and informed him that I would need a total of 7 days off to prepare and attend the services, which included the next 2 days (Thursday and Friday). His response was an exasperated sigh and then a solid tongue lashing about how he already informed me that I needed to be at work on Thursday because he has been understaffed and theres stuff that he wanted me to clean that noone had done since before I started working there. I apologized profusely for messing up his plans, but asserted that there was nothing I can do. Its my brother. I HAVE to go to his funeral and I NEEDED to be with my family. The GM gave another frustrated huff and puff, then told me "We have to have a talk when you get back" and hung up on me. I spent the next several hours crying for my brother, and worrying about losing my job.
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How was I supposed to help pay for aservices, funeral and burial that noone in my family could afford, if I had just lost my job for going to the funeral?
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What would you have done in this situation? What would anyone? Did my showing up at work the day after my brothers death not show my commitment to my job? Unfortunately for me it did not matter, as I later found out that the GM was out to get me from the beginning, and that he never wanted to hire me in the first place.
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A few days later, after sleepless nights and grieving for the loss of my brother, I recieved a notice of my final paycheck being submitted to my checking account, and when I called a coworker, they said that an email had gone out informing everyone of my termination.
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So, it was true. I had hoped I was just misunderstanding his words, but now I knew. Words cannot describe the crushing, heartbroken emptiness I fealt at that moment. I have never suffered so much, as I did in that one week, compared to 7 years in prison. How this man could live with himself after doing this to someone is beyond me, and I find myself crying even now as I remember how bad the next few days, and the upcoming funeral were. I had no choice but to make a gofundme just to help pay for my brothers funeral, as I had already gone into debt, and now that I had no job, I couldn't afford to even pay for my plane ticket, let alone help pay for funeral services or burial.
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After returning home the next week, I found out through calling Human Resources that I had been reinstated or the termination stopped. Apparently the other managers had informed the GM that what he was trying to do to me was illegal. I was happy, but I knew it didn't matter, the GM had proven he was out to get me, and even admitted at my hiring that it was because he really needed someone and the other managers who had known me outside of work and their refferences were the only reason he was hiring me.
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I was correct. I was set to return to work on a wednesday, and the sunday before I slipped on an unfamiliar step and hurt my ankle severely. I waited until Tuesday before deciding that there was no way I could work on an ankle this badly hurt, at which point I called my boss and explained the situation. I thought of a compromise that would prevent me from actually missing any work, and explained it to my boss. I had never recieved any training for my position other than a person showing me that basics of how to clean this or that, and there are videos we are supposed to watch that are part of our mandatory paid training. I offered to come in and complete the training I never recieved, and my boss thought it was a great idea, but had to call the GM to make sure it was ok. After she called him, she informed me that the GM didn't want me to come in while I was injured, and instead told me to stay home until I see a doctor, and that we would figure things out after.
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I had an appointment scheduled for the upcoming monday, and after meeting with the doctor he advised I stay off my feet for a minimum of 5 days, and for me to see him on the 6th day. I asked him for a copy of his report and dropped it off at work, speaking with my direct boss and giving her a copy of the report, and was told to call them again after they time is up and I speak to my doctor. Once again, I did exactly as instructed. After the 5 days my ankle was still extremely swollen and painful, and so my Doctor set me up for Xrays and MRIs. I then called my boss and informed her of the severity of the issue and that I would likely need to take a medical leave, to which I was told no problem just keep them updated. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
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I recieved a call a few days later after my first Xray, which showed no break but alot of swelling, which indicates tendon damage, from a Human Resources agent, who informed me that my request for Medical Leave had been denied, and instead I had been terminated from my employment with Pilot Flying J travel centers. When I asked why I was being fired, I was informed that on Thursday March 14th I had not called in to inform my boss that I would not be at work, and was listed as a no show/no call. Even the HR representative knew and verified that this was during the time that I was injured and waiting to see the doctor after I had already called an notified my boss and the GM of the situation and when my appointment was, and I was not supposed to call in every single day or so my boss and the GM had told me.
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I never called in on any of the days I was off, because my work told me not to and that I didnt have to because I had already spoken to my boss and verified I would not be there until a certain date.
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So after all of this, as a worker who recieved nothing but complaints, I was fired for doing what I was told.
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I had been a model employee, filling in when others could not make it to work do to emergency or snow hazard, recieving numerous praise from customers, several of which spoke to the GM of how impressed they were at the new staff.
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I immediately sought an attorney, and was matched with a group called Abramsons Labor Group. Who told me I have a no brainer case and would win with no issue, and that I should try to settle to make it quick if I needed the money. These people said that 50% was the standard rate for cases like this, and continued to pressure me to settle as quickly as possible. I did not want to, and after being strung along for several months, being scheduled for numerous attorney visits with different attorneys through the law group, this last week I finally had it our agreement terminated. Only after this was I provided with copys of my employee file that had been turned over to Abramsons by Pilot/FlyingJ. Here I discovered several manipulations, all of which are obvious but obfuscate the situation to where it makes any lawyer looking for a quick buck turn away, because it will take them a few minutes of work to prove the falsifications.
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The GM even had the gull to add fake reports to my employee file, all of which were supposedly presented to me to sign, but have never been signed by ANYONE, let alone me, a witness, nor the gm himself! He literally just wrote up a few reports and put them in my file to make me look bad, but forgot to sign them.
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I need help. I need to hire an actual attorney who will represent me and help me take this to a trial. I want people to be aware of what this company and scumbags like the General Manager who made me suffer like this are doing to people like me. They saw me as an ex convict parolee they can just take advantage of, use and abuse, and treat me like garbage. They never bothered to train me because they knew they didnt want to keep me.
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Any funds donated will be used strictly for legal fees, and since I would not have to pay a portion of the awarded funds to an attorney, I will instead donate that money to several different charitys in my brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr: my local food bank, Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Please, anything you can do to help support my cause is better than nothing. Dimes, Nickels, Pennys, everything helps. Help me move forward and make a difference in not just my and my families, but the lives of everyone who has been hurt and sufffered because of the careless nature of the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers management.
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For anyone who has come this far, I have included my employee file. I would also like to note that they have also taken out the praises I recieved from at least 2 different customers who were astounded at the quality of my work and customer service.
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am i the asshole? I feel like this is a totally legitimate reason for requesting assistance but I feel dirty for doing it. I am broke, borrowing money just to pay rent, and the "pro bono" law groups are trying to just get me to take a deal for quick cash. I want.

As the title says, I'm at a loss with where to start legally with tragic loss in the family.
My adult sister lost her long battle with depression and addiction. She passed under tragic circumstances in way that might as well have been a suicide. That was only about three days ago. My parents flew in from out of state two days ago, and my wife and I flew in yesterday. It has been an incredibly overwhelming 3 days for everyone, and now that we are a bit more settled I can see some of the realizations hitting my parents. Things like bank accounts, checks she never cashed, email and apple accounts have all been brought up briefly. There was no will and I'm trying to help my parents figure out the next steps as we continue to grieve. From what I understand, my parents have been in contact with the coroner and there won't be a death certificate released until Toxicology comes back. Apart from that they have secured everything they plan to from her apartment, made arrangements with a funeral home and honestly that might be about it.
My parents are absolutely besides themselves, so in try to support them, I've started some initial research into what comes next. As i mentioned before, things like bank accounts, some rather large checks she hadn't yet cashed, what to do with/how to maybe access Apple account, tax implications, and other things are all top of mind. It's been difficult trying to navigate different search results as some are vague or unclear or some are just downright adverts for law firms. It has been incredibly hard to find the will to try to parse through all of this information. If anybody is able to point me in the direction of resources that might help figure out the next steps. to take that would be amazing. I'm sure there have been many posts like this on this subreddit; I'm sorry for what is probably a repost. Thank you for any help you might be able to offer. It truly is appreciated.

There are so many similarities between Harpocrates and Miquella that I’d find it hard to believe that FromSoftware didn’t take any inspiration from this god. So I decided to examine this deity to see if I could find anything interesting. All screenshots shown in this post in the Haligtree and Elphael were taken in-game without freecam, though many were in first-person with the FPS mod^[1], which was done to get a closer look at some of the symbols and iconography. I know not all of FromSoftware’s assets aren’t entirely original for dev purposes of course (Path of Exile assets reused for example) so I won’t be scrutinizing every symbol except for the more elaborate and relevant iconography.
Harpocrates is the Greek translation for “Horus The Child” (the Egyptian Hor-Pa-Khered)^[2], the famed Egyptian son of Isis and Osiris. In Plutarch’s (Greek philosopher) account of the couple, Isis “gave birth to Harpocrates, imperfect and premature…”, further described as “prematurely delivered and weak in his lower limbs”. To the Greeks, Harpocrates and Horus were not two separate deities, but “two degrees of evolution of the same god.” Very interestingly, Plutarch mentions Isis as “...the female principle of Nature, and is receptive of every form of generation, in accord with which she is called by Plato, the gentle nurse and the all-receptive…"
I believe we can make some parallels to Marika. Mention of generation and other female qualities bring to mind the role of an Empyrean, one who is capable of birthing new progeny as potential successors to the next age. The principle of Nature itself could be applied to the metaphysical laws of the Elden Ring in-game in my opinion.
Miquella was born malformed and is a savior figure for albinaurics and demi-humans who embarked on a pilgrimage to his Haligtree. Harpocrates was favored by the rich as a god of plenty, but was also loved by the masses. In Elphael we can see wheat, a symbol of abundance scattered throughout the area when exploring.
Harpocrates is commonly depicted standing or striding on an animal (such as a goose or a horse), with side locks^[3]. I was curious to see if Miquella is ever depicted with side locks but from the art of his kidnapping by Mohg and the teaser imager for the Shadow of the Erdtree, I’m not sure. The statues of Miquella at the Haligtree (by himself and with Malenia) don’t appear to depict him with any. It’s not really important, but it’d be cool if he did have them I feel. Miquella is shown in the dlc teaser riding Torrent so maybe his connection to our trusty steed was intentional by FromSoft if inspired by Harpocrates.
Terracotta figurines of Harpocrates often depict the young sun god emerging from a lotus flower, and according to this overview of a figurine, “The cornucopia, representing fertility and prosperity, is a Greek motif; however, the association of child-gods with agricultural bounty has Egyptian parallels as well."^[4] It’s interesting to me that the lotus flower is associated with Harpocrates, since we can immediately draw parallels between Malenia and her scarlet blooms. According to Plutarch, “...they portray the rising of the sun in this manner to indicate allegorically the enkindling of the sun from the waters.” when they speak of the sun rising as a new-born babe from the lotus. He is a god of the rising sun, represented seated on a lotus capsule.^[2]
In Egyptian mythology, the lotus is a symbol of life, the fecundative (fertile, or producing new offspring or growth) power of the Nile river, and was a source of food for not only Egypt, but the deltas of China and India (hence Brahma seated on a lotus) too. “By night it closes its leaves and submerges so deep under the water, that the hand cannot reach it. At dawn it directs itself eastwards to the light, and raises itself above the water and opens again.”^[5] Thus the lotus is a symbol for the birth and rebirth of the sun. “It is then one of the ways of introducing the dead to the divine life in the rebirth by the lotus, so that men after death can be reborn from the lotus as the gods.”^[5] From decay and death comes new life that bursts forth from the Scarlet Rot, and Malenia blooms as the goddess of rot at the roots of the Haligtree in a dramatic fashion.
Malenia’s name seems to mean “heir to the sun”^[6], which is very fitting seeing as the Golden Order’s gold has associations with it in my opinion.
“Shield of honor depicting a city crowned by the sun. It has seen better days. Much like the wear upon the shield, the Seat of the Sun is long faded away.” - Sun Realm Shield
These shields can be found from the beastmen skeletons in Farum Azula, though they are also found elsewhere in the Lands Between. Farum may very well have been the seat of the sun in ancient times. With Godrick also referring to a dragon as a “true-born heir”, I don’t feel the notion of the Greater Will being the sun is outlandish at all. We see a great light on the horizon while fighting the Elden Beast, and other celestial objects such as the moon are great powers in their own right.
He is depicted with his finger to his lips (a gesture to keep quiet about Sarapis being only human) and as such, was later called a god of silence. According to Plutarch though, the motion is actually little Harpocrates suckling his finger, as the motion in Egyptian means “eat” or “speak” and “Isis, in order to nourish him, puts the finger in his mouth instead of the breast.” Later depictions of Harpocrates as a deity of silence are Greaco-Roman, not Egyptian.^[5]
I didn't see a connection between Miquella and the later role of silence attributed to Harpocrates until I learned of the deity being associated with Mercury in the Renaissance-era. "The theme of silence is not just a Christian one: the association of wisdom with silence goes back to classical times, to writers such as Pindar, Euripides and Plutarch'."^[7] This is immediately significant, as not only have others put forward arguments of Miquella and Mercury in the alchemical sense, but Euripides' play The Bacchae in my opinion^[8], was the basis for the tragedy of Miquella, and the myths of Plutarch are a heavy focus in this post.
"During the Greek period, however, a mistaken interpretation of this gesture arose, namely that by it, Harpocrates commanded silence concerning divine mysteries. Renaissance mythographers and humanists accepted this explanation and Harpocrates appears as the god of silence in, amongst others, Gyraldus, Cartari and Valerian."^[7]
"Sometimes in Renaissance writing, the god Harpocrates was conflated with Hermes or Mercury, god of Eloquence, for a play on the rhetorical commonplace of eloquent silence."^[7]
As I have only recently stumbled upon this Renaissance-era connection, I will have to explore Mercury and the Cymbalum Mundi at a later time, since Plutarch's connections to sleep and dreams are another avenue I need to explore further in relation to Miquella, and putting both in this post would bloat it.
In Egypt, Horus the god was represented by a winged solar disc, symbol of the sun, which later gave rise to the cosmic “clipeus”, or world circle with its cosmocrater (ruler of the world) inside of it during Graeco-Roman times.^[5] Throughout Elphael and especially near the roots in the Haligtree, we find this symbol of two griffin-like figures underneath the Haligtree inside of a circle. It seems to me this visual was directly inspired by this depiction of Harpocrates inside of a solar disc (surrounded by an ouroboros), accompanied by two Agathodaemones, “noble spirits”, representing Isis and Osiris^[5]. Furthermore, in Elphael we can find more similar “noble spirits” depicted upside down. With this in mind, I’m comfortable with interpreting the symbol of the Haligtree over two Agathodaemones as Miquella, god of the world depicted inside, shown with his parents Radagon and Marika.
Very interesting that this imagery is seen when Miquella is inside his bloody cocoon. Note the pelvic bones that look similar to the “Agathodaemones” at the Haligtree, with the Empyrean literally inside of a new circle. In my last Miquella post arguing his tragedy mirrors The Bacchae^[8] , just as Pentheus’ gruesome demise seems a cosmic joke to Dionysus, Miquella’s aspirations of godhood have been turned on his head, becoming a literal surrogate to another god entirely. All of this symbolism at the Haligtree seems more thematic than indicative of some sort of convoluted plot by the Empyrean to let himself be Mohgnapped while having placed clues beforehand just for fun.
Later depictions of Harpocrates with Isis and Osiris according to El-Khachab^[5] seem to be Gnostic, “for in the mode of the Kabbalah, the two arms of God or the first cause, the infinite light, the Ensoph symbolize the second triad of the sephiroth, since the right arm is love, Chesed, and the left one is justice or strength, geburah. The former, Chesed, is the life-begetting principle, while the left arm represents might and from the union of the two comes tifereth, beauty or rather mercy, rachamzm, which is the eminent quality and principle of the Christian teaching,' and the assurance of the moral order of the world.”^[5]
“The first triad of the ten sephiroth, which are the qualities or the agencies serving as the media for the manifestations of God in the finite, represents Him as the Thinker of the universe. The second triad interprets Him as the moral power of the universe, and the third one represents the material universe;”^[5]
I’ve spoken of “Sophia” before in my Bacchae post, where I argued Sophia the archetype is present in-game as Marika, but also as the moral term; the self-knowledge of one’s place in the world, knowing the limits that compose human fate, and the assurance of moral order shown by El-Khachab relates to this idea, as the Order in-game is dictated by the Elden Ring. Every pistis Sophia (relating to the god) seems to have its own Horus, as shown in this image with the name Harpocrates at the bottom-left, only strengthening the notion that the Sophia and Harpocrates archetypes are represented in-game as Marika and Miquella in my opinion.
Back to Plutarch’s account of Isis and Osiris, I wonder if partial inspiration for the shadows in-game are from Isis finding the child of her deceased husband Osiris and sister Nephthys: “And when the child had been found, after great toil and trouble, with the help of dogs which led Isis to it, it was brought up and became her guardian and attendant, receiving the name of Anubis, and it is said to protect the gods just as dogs protect men." Plutarch also mentions the special Dog-star of Isis: Cyon (Sirius).
Another interesting tidbit are the mentions of the sisters Isis and Nephthys as “...the face of Isis on one side, and on the other the face of Nephthys [bottom of the circumference of the sistrum]. By these faces they symbolize birth and death, for these are the changes and movements of the elements.” This is in regards to the world as a sistrum (rattle of a snake), where all things in existence need to be shaken, rattled, never to cease their motion, but woken up and agitated when they grow drowsy and torpid.
I’ve argued before^[9] that Miquella’s unalloyed gold is immutable (unchanging) in a world that is fundamentally one of vicissitude (change between opposites), and the world described as a sistrum by Plutarch where things never cease their motion fits in quite nicely in my opinion. The sisters Isis and Nephthys being a dualism of life and death to me, bring to mind the Empyreans Marika The Eternal and the Gloam-Eyed Queen, life and death, in opposition. This doesn’t suddenly mean the GEQ is Marika’s sister, but I had always thought she was at least a Numen, since their longevity seems to make them good candidates for hosting the Elden Ring.
Plutarch also assigns Isis to Earth and Love to Osiris. For me personally, I assign Earth to Marika as the Elden Ring within her is “the wellspring of all joy” in the words of Enia and once bore fruit in the Age of Plenty, relating to Sophia. Radagon and Love are inseparable in my view, as he loved the perfection he sought above all else, and may have always loved Rennala even after leaving her in my opinion^[10] (though there's still much to debate about that in fairness). Overall, I strongly believe inspiration was taken from these myths.
As for Horus-the-Child, he is neither eternal, unaffected, or imperishable but “being ever reborn, contrives to remain always young and never subject to destruction in the changes and cycles of events.”^[5] (the sun that renews itself daily)
Most interestingly, Plutarch mentions the reason that Harpocrates was born frail, referencing Plato’s Symposium in regards to Love being the child of Plenty and Poverty. In the Symposium, Diotima showed Socrates “that Love was neither, but in a mean between fair and foul, good and evil, and not a god at all, but only a great demon or intermediate power... who conveys to the gods the prayers of men, and to men the commands of the gods.”^[11] This intermediate power in neoplatonic thought would be a demi-god. Miquella’s name seems to be “a variation of Miguella, itself a feminine version of Miguel, a name of Hebrew origin meaning ‘who is like God.’”^[6] The name fits his demi-god status quite well, but what of being born of Poverty and Plenty?
Diotima notes that Love, as the son of both, partakes of their natures and is full and starved by turn. “Like his mother he is poor and squalid, lying on mats at doors (compare the speech of Pausanias); like his father he is bold and strong, and full of arts and resources. Further, he is in a mean between ignorance and knowledge:—in this he resembles the philosopher who is also in a mean between the wise and the ignorant.”^[11] Plutarch says of the duo that “Poverty, wishing for children, insinuated herself beside Plenty while he was asleep, and having become pregnant by him, gave birth to Love, who is of a mixed and utterly variable nature.”^[2] He also speaks on their natures similarly since “...the son of a father who is good and wise and self-sufficient in all things, but of a mother who is helpless and without means and because of want always clinging close to another and always importunate over another. For Plenty is none other than the first beloved and desired, the perfect and self-sufficient; and Plato calls raw material Poverty, utterly lacking of herself in the Good, but being filled from him and always yearning for him and sharing with him.”^[2]
In Pausanias’ speech on Love in the same Symposium, he says there are two kinds; the first is noble, concerning the intelligence of man, “without wantonness or lust”, while the second is a more vulgar love, a love of the body rather than the soul, and of power and wealth.
Malenia is bold and strong like Radagon, while Miquella has inherited his father's talents for arts and resources. They are also afflicted with crippling weaknesses in turn.
I’d like to be very speculative right now about the true nature of the twins’ maladies, so feel free to disregard this next theory as mostly speculation. What if there’s another reason the twins were born malformed that has to do with their parents’ character rather than their relation (incest)? Radagon embodies Plenty in my opinion, through his journey of Golden Order Fundamentalism, mastering sorceries and incantations in his journey to be complete, having skills in crafts like sewing, and founding a school of thought that studies the Elden Ring through scholarly means. The love he practices seems to be a nobler one according to Pausanias, involving the intelligence of man in his journey for perfection.
I’ve argued before that Radagon represents the Intellect that comes into conflict with the Soul.^[10] Marika, the archetype of Sophia (who embodies the Soul) on the other hand, was chosen to be an Empyrean, having godhood thrust upon her because of her physical attributes (Numen, able to bear successors). She, like Poverty, clung close to another, Godfrey, relying on his strength to conquer the Lands Between, and dismissed him to serve her own ends. The love she pursued was more vulgar, loving the power that Hoarah Loux’s bodily strength brought her, not his mind, which is one of extreme amathia^[8] (self-ignorance resulting in cruel violence, barbarism). His love for Marika may have also been of the low kind, because I can't imagine any other reason his cave-man brain would choose Marika. The twins were born quite a while after her Age of Plenty (during Godfrey’s reign) ended, and her Erdtree was sick with sprouts afflicting it^[12], furthering her character as one of Poverty.
Elden Ring’s world is fundamentally one of vicissitude in my opinion^[9], (change between opposites and contraries) and I posit that the twins were subject to these forces when they were born because of their parent’s divine natures, with Miquella forever young (too little entropy, which could relate to the Law of Causality) due to the reasons Diotima and Plutarch said of Harpocrates, and due to what I choose to dub “The Law of Vicissitudes”: One cannot exist without the other, and as all things have their opposites and contraries, his twin Malenia was born with too much entropy in turn, afflicted by the influence of the Goddess of Rot.
Since this theory of Plenty and Poverty is very speculative, the fact of the matter is that the simplest explanation for the malformed twins is the self-incest of Radagon/Marika. At the very least, I believe it is still appropriate to view the Plenty/Poverty dynamic as thematically relevant in Elden Ring.
SOURCES:
[1] First Person Souls – Full Game Conversion
[2] Isis and Osiris by Plutarch
[3] Harpocrates and Other Child Deities in Ancient Egyptian Sculpture
[4] Harpocrates Plague and Figurine
[5] Some Gem-Amulets Depicting Harpocrates Seated on a Lotus Flower: To the Memory of My Great Friend Dr. Alexandre Piankoff
[6] The names, terms and language of Elden Ring (etymology/nomenclature study)
[7] SILENCE, HARPOCRATES, AND THE CYMBALUM MUNDI
[8] Miquella's story is based on the Greek tragedy "The Bacchae", and the "Sophia" that permeates Elden Ring
[9] Why the Flame of Frenzy can only be quelled in Placidusax's arena & the nature of unalloyed gold
[10] The Heroic Frenzy of Radagon
[11] Symposium, by Plato
[12] Misbegotten, Omens, and Grafting: An Origin Story

I decided not to follow any build guides and wanted to try out whirlwind barb since that's what I ran back in D3, but I've been having issues with it the past few days. Sometimes I would randomly go from 200k dmg to like 2 - 4k until my next skill rotation. Is there any reason such a drastic DPS drop is happening? I have the aspects that they disabled but I assumed since they were disabled it wouldn't affect my build like this. Any help would be appreciated!

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Please help me share my go fund me, I really appreciate it guys. In case you don't click links, here is my story.https://www.gofundme.com/f/fired-for-attending-brothers-funeral-need-lawyerMy name is Ethan Wiley, and after spending 7 years in prison for defending myself against an armed assailant, I was released on parole November 21st, 2022 and began trying to rebuild my life as best I could. I have a community college degree and over a dozen certificates in drug and relationship counceling. The first thing I had to do was get a job, and after a few months of searching, I did, at the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers.
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Unfortunately, I was fired from Pilot Flying J for attending my brothers funeral, reinstated, then fired again after severely injuring my ankle a few days before I was to return to work.
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On the morning of February 10th, while at work as a maintence worker at the Flying J Travel Center in Lebec, California, I was notified of my 32 Year old brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr's passing. Fortunately it was at the end of my shift, so I was able to go home and cry alone. I did not have the mental stability to inform my work of the situation at the time, so that night when I went back to my 12am-8am shift, I informed my manager, who told me to inform the general manager and ask them about how to get time off to go to his funeral. The GM shows up at 6am, and when he did, after a full nights work of cleaning gas pumps, oil spills and trash in 10 degree weather (without a jacket I might add, as the GM refused to provide me with one) I immediately asked him if I could speak to him in private, to which he blew me off so he could have coffee for another hour and a half. At 7:30am, he finally found the time to speak to me, and I broke down into hysterical sobbing and he told me I had to step away and gather myself. Once I was able to stop crying, I explained the situation and that my brother lived in Texas (I live in California) and so I will need time off to go to his funeral and help with preparations for the services and the burial. His response was that I should call in when I find out what days I need off, but that there was a corporate inspection this Thursday (we were speaking on February 11th, the tuesday before the inspection) and that he needed me to be at work that morning to get everything ready.
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This guy showed me no commiseration or sympathies, just telling me that no matter what, regardless of my closest brother just passing away, he wanted me at work Thursday. They offered me no time off whatsoever to even get over the shock of my brothers untimely passing.
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After his kind, compassionate words of support, he then requested that I go do several more things outside my job description before I went home that day, and for me "not to do anything stupid". So I did, and returned home to begin figuring out how to get to Texas and be with my family.
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Later that day, after work, I found out that I had to fly out on Friday, and so regardless of his wishes, I would have to miss his corporate inspection to prepare.
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I called the General Manager, and informed him that I would need a total of 7 days off to prepare and attend the services, which included the next 2 days (Thursday and Friday). His response was an exasperated sigh and then a solid tongue lashing about how he already informed me that I needed to be at work on Thursday because he has been understaffed and theres stuff that he wanted me to clean that noone had done since before I started working there. I apologized profusely for messing up his plans, but asserted that there was nothing I can do. Its my brother. I HAVE to go to his funeral and I NEEDED to be with my family. The GM gave another frustrated huff and puff, then told me "We have to have a talk when you get back" and hung up on me. I spent the next several hours crying for my brother, and worrying about losing my job.
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How was I supposed to help pay for aservices, funeral and burial that noone in my family could afford, if I had just lost my job for going to the funeral?
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What would you have done in this situation? What would anyone? Did my showing up at work the day after my brothers death not show my commitment to my job? Unfortunately for me it did not matter, as I later found out that the GM was out to get me from the beginning, and that he never wanted to hire me in the first place.
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A few days later, after sleepless nights and grieving for the loss of my brother, I recieved a notice of my final paycheck being submitted to my checking account, and when I called a coworker, they said that an email had gone out informing everyone of my termination.
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So, it was true. I had hoped I was just misunderstanding his words, but now I knew. Words cannot describe the crushing, heartbroken emptiness I fealt at that moment. I have never suffered so much, as I did in that one week, compared to 7 years in prison. How this man could live with himself after doing this to someone is beyond me, and I find myself crying even now as I remember how bad the next few days, and the upcoming funeral were. I had no choice but to make a gofundme just to help pay for my brothers funeral, as I had already gone into debt, and now that I had no job, I couldn't afford to even pay for my plane ticket, let alone help pay for funeral services or burial.
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After returning home the next week, I found out through calling Human Resources that I had been reinstated or the termination stopped. Apparently the other managers had informed the GM that what he was trying to do to me was illegal. I was happy, but I knew it didn't matter, the GM had proven he was out to get me, and even admitted at my hiring that it was because he really needed someone and the other managers who had known me outside of work and their refferences were the only reason he was hiring me.
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I was correct. I was set to return to work on a wednesday, and the sunday before I slipped on an unfamiliar step and hurt my ankle severely. I waited until Tuesday before deciding that there was no way I could work on an ankle this badly hurt, at which point I called my boss and explained the situation. I thought of a compromise that would prevent me from actually missing any work, and explained it to my boss. I had never recieved any training for my position other than a person showing me that basics of how to clean this or that, and there are videos we are supposed to watch that are part of our mandatory paid training. I offered to come in and complete the training I never recieved, and my boss thought it was a great idea, but had to call the GM to make sure it was ok. After she called him, she informed me that the GM didn't want me to come in while I was injured, and instead told me to stay home until I see a doctor, and that we would figure things out after.
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I had an appointment scheduled for the upcoming monday, and after meeting with the doctor he advised I stay off my feet for a minimum of 5 days, and for me to see him on the 6th day. I asked him for a copy of his report and dropped it off at work, speaking with my direct boss and giving her a copy of the report, and was told to call them again after they time is up and I speak to my doctor. Once again, I did exactly as instructed. After the 5 days my ankle was still extremely swollen and painful, and so my Doctor set me up for Xrays and MRIs. I then called my boss and informed her of the severity of the issue and that I would likely need to take a medical leave, to which I was told no problem just keep them updated. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
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I recieved a call a few days later after my first Xray, which showed no break but alot of swelling, which indicates tendon damage, from a Human Resources agent, who informed me that my request for Medical Leave had been denied, and instead I had been terminated from my employment with Pilot Flying J travel centers. When I asked why I was being fired, I was informed that on Thursday March 14th I had not called in to inform my boss that I would not be at work, and was listed as a no show/no call. Even the HR representative knew and verified that this was during the time that I was injured and waiting to see the doctor after I had already called an notified my boss and the GM of the situation and when my appointment was, and I was not supposed to call in every single day or so my boss and the GM had told me.
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I never called in on any of the days I was off, because my work told me not to and that I didnt have to because I had already spoken to my boss and verified I would not be there until a certain date.
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So after all of this, as a worker who recieved nothing but complaints, I was fired for doing what I was told.
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I had been a model employee, filling in when others could not make it to work do to emergency or snow hazard, recieving numerous praise from customers, several of which spoke to the GM of how impressed they were at the new staff.
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I immediately sought an attorney, and was matched with a group called Abramsons Labor Group. Who told me I have a no brainer case and would win with no issue, and that I should try to settle to make it quick if I needed the money. These people said that 50% was the standard rate for cases like this, and continued to pressure me to settle as quickly as possible. I did not want to, and after being strung along for several months, being scheduled for numerous attorney visits with different attorneys through the law group, this last week I finally had it our agreement terminated. Only after this was I provided with copys of my employee file that had been turned over to Abramsons by Pilot/FlyingJ. Here I discovered several manipulations, all of which are obvious but obfuscate the situation to where it makes any lawyer looking for a quick buck turn away, because it will take them a few minutes of work to prove the falsifications.
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The GM even had the gull to add fake reports to my employee file, all of which were supposedly presented to me to sign, but have never been signed by ANYONE, let alone me, a witness, nor the gm himself! He literally just wrote up a few reports and put them in my file to make me look bad, but forgot to sign them.
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I need help. I need to hire an actual attorney who will represent me and help me take this to a trial. I want people to be aware of what this company and scumbags like the General Manager who made me suffer like this are doing to people like me. They saw me as an ex convict parolee they can just take advantage of, use and abuse, and treat me like garbage. They never bothered to train me because they knew they didnt want to keep me.
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Any funds donated will be used strictly for legal fees, and since I would not have to pay a portion of the awarded funds to an attorney, I will instead donate that money to several different charitys in my brother, Richard Christian Wiley Jr: my local food bank, Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Please, anything you can do to help support my cause is better than nothing. Dimes, Nickels, Pennys, everything helps. Help me move forward and make a difference in not just my and my families, but the lives of everyone who has been hurt and sufffered because of the careless nature of the Pilot Flying J Travel Centers management.
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For anyone who has come this far, I have included my employee file. I would also like to note that they have also taken out the praises I recieved from at least 2 different customers who were astounded at the quality of my work and customer service.
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am i the asshole? I feel like this is a totally legitimate reason for requesting assistance but I feel dirty for doing it. I am broke, borrowing money just to pay rent, and the "pro bono" law groups are trying to just get me to take a deal for quick cash. I want.