5 letter words beginning with tan
onewordeach
2015.05.22 19:56 Kaibakura onewordeach
Improv, one word at a time.
2011.03.30 16:39 HotDinnerBatman Things you wish you could say to them.
A place to write a letter you don't intend to send.
2016.04.07 21:46 SoulsBorne Character Sliders
Post your SoulsBorne/Elden Ring character sliders here!
2023.06.03 05:54 bria1099 Not sure if the job is being rescinded or not
I applied to this job about 4 months ago, interview at the beginning of May. A week later I followed up and was told they were moving forward with offering me a job and will send the offer letter that day. I didn’t receive anything and followed up after a couple of days to see if I have missed it. Hiring manager replied and said sorry about the delay we have a hiring review team and it may take some time to send the letter. I then followed up the week after next to see if it’s any update. hiring manager replies with they are updating their induction and training plan and will be sending a offer letter soon. I then ask if there is a date that I could potentially look forward to? Replies I can started June 13th. Still today I haven’t received a letter but have been told by hiring manager 3 times that I am still being hired and june 13th is the solid hiring date for me. I have followed up this week, but hiring manager is out of town but does say she send the offer letter the next morning but once again haven’t received anything .Am I overthinking this? Im super anxious about this.
submitted by bria1099 to jobs [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 05:54 doctorerhardt Beneath the Crimson Moon [Online] [Roleplay Focused] [5e] [16+] [LGBTQ+] [EST]
Hello everyone! I’m Doc, He/Him, 17, a young DM with a love for storytelling. I’ve always wanted to delve into a campaign inspired by media such as Ghost of Tsushima, Horizon Zero Dawn, and other games I’ve always got to watch my dad play while I planned my sessions for a year now… So, that led me to begin planning this campaign! I'm not too experienced at reddit so this is a shot in the dark.
I have been playing D&D for about 3 years, Dming for 1, and I am super excited to find some possible players for this. I’m looking for a maximum of 4-5 players, with a heavy focus on roleplay and character development. I recently took a class in anthropology and have been really inspired to run a campaign inspired by a specific culture, particularly east asian cultures, so here we are!
I would say I'm a fairly loose dm. I don't mind bending rules to let you do something cool and I heavily focus on RP, less combat (as I am terrible at balancing.) I REALLY love involving my players' backstories into campaigns like these so if you have any cool characters I’d love to hear about them and push them into the story! I dont use VTT’s (however I do track combat encounters etc in my own creative ways) and am entirely theater of the mind style in my dming. We will be using DNDbeyond, as I have quite the amount of sourcebooks on there. I will totally be willing to help you guys make characters that fit into the story as well if thats your cup of tea!
Please note this campaign is NOT a place for people who are close minded. I am aiming for;
An age range of 16-22
Open minded people (Queer, Disabled, POC friendly)
People who are okay with no VTT/Theater of the Mind style
People who don’t follow rules to the extreme in D&D People with a consistent schedule
And most of all, people are willing to have fun!
A bit of info about the world can be found below, along with its plot hook!
~
Amidst the somber silence that permeates the battlefield, a lone ronin cuts a solitary figure. His footsteps echo softly as he traverses the scarred earth, his presence a solemn tribute to the fallen. The wind whistles through the empty spaces, murmuring secrets of honor and sacrifice. With a fluid motion, the ronin sheathes his blade, its steel gleaming with a bittersweet gleam. The weight of countless lives hangs heavy upon it, a reminder of the battles fought and lives lost. In that moment, the ronin's gaze transcends the mortal realm, his eyes fixed upon a distant horizon, where the souls of fallen warriors find solace.
As he lingers among the fallen, the ronin's voice, a timeworn rasp, resonates through the air, carrying a message. "In the realm of sacrifice, warriors become eternal," he murmurs, glaring towards the ground.
The ronin stands tall, a silent guardian amidst the remnants of conflict, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. In his quiet yet peaceful presence, the fallen warriors find solace, their sacrifices acknowledged, and their memory preserved. And as the moon rises over the battlefield, casting its cool hues upon the landscape, the ronin steps forward, his dull eyes focused on the crimson moon above.
~
Shinkoku (The continent) is a land of captivating contrasts. Beautiful forests bursting with vibrant wildlife give way to serene bamboo groves, where the whisper of the wind through the slender stalks creates an ethereal melody. Rolling plains, adorned with fields of swaying golden wheat, provide a picturesque backdrop for peaceful villages and thriving farmlands. The continent is dotted with sacred sites, where towering buildings and tranquil shrines stand as testaments to the spiritual connection between mortals and the divine. Hidden within the depths of ancient forests and atop mist-shrouded mountains, these sacred places serve as gateways to realms unseen and hold the wisdom of generations past.
Shinkoku is a realm steeped in history and honor. The ruins of ancient empires, crumbling castles, and battle-scarred fortresses stand as echoes of the conflicts that have shaped the land. The echoes of the samurai's code of Bushido resonate through the mountains, carrying tales of noble warriors who upheld their honor and fought for justice. Yet… Many seemingly are stuck in the past.
But amidst the breathtaking beauty and profound tranquility, shadows lurk in the corners of Shinkoku. Political intrigues simmer in the palaces of powerful daimyos, while clandestine organizations seek to exploit the realm's hidden secrets. Supernatural creatures, both benevolent and malevolent, roam the land, their presence shaping the destinies of mortals and spirits alike.
And at the top of it all, the shogun of Shinkoku rules eternal.
~
Interested? Go ahead and fill out this google Forum! I look forward to seeing you all :) Note this post will be closed once I feel I've gotten enough responses, or its been 24 hours! If you have any questions, leave them below!
Cheers!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd0xDzQVpmStcfTLsIl5BKuNdSQrXyBJMHCRfv\_8fkZxX6FIA/viewform?usp=sf\_link
submitted by doctorerhardt to lfg [link] [comments]
I have been playing D&D for about 3 years, Dming for 1, and I am super excited to find some possible players for this. I’m looking for a maximum of 4-5 players, with a heavy focus on roleplay and character development. I recently took a class in anthropology and have been really inspired to run a campaign inspired by a specific culture, particularly east asian cultures, so here we are!
I would say I'm a fairly loose dm. I don't mind bending rules to let you do something cool and I heavily focus on RP, less combat (as I am terrible at balancing.) I REALLY love involving my players' backstories into campaigns like these so if you have any cool characters I’d love to hear about them and push them into the story! I dont use VTT’s (however I do track combat encounters etc in my own creative ways) and am entirely theater of the mind style in my dming. We will be using DNDbeyond, as I have quite the amount of sourcebooks on there. I will totally be willing to help you guys make characters that fit into the story as well if thats your cup of tea!
Please note this campaign is NOT a place for people who are close minded. I am aiming for;
An age range of 16-22
Open minded people (Queer, Disabled, POC friendly)
People who are okay with no VTT/Theater of the Mind style
People who don’t follow rules to the extreme in D&D People with a consistent schedule
And most of all, people are willing to have fun!
A bit of info about the world can be found below, along with its plot hook!
~
Amidst the somber silence that permeates the battlefield, a lone ronin cuts a solitary figure. His footsteps echo softly as he traverses the scarred earth, his presence a solemn tribute to the fallen. The wind whistles through the empty spaces, murmuring secrets of honor and sacrifice. With a fluid motion, the ronin sheathes his blade, its steel gleaming with a bittersweet gleam. The weight of countless lives hangs heavy upon it, a reminder of the battles fought and lives lost. In that moment, the ronin's gaze transcends the mortal realm, his eyes fixed upon a distant horizon, where the souls of fallen warriors find solace.
As he lingers among the fallen, the ronin's voice, a timeworn rasp, resonates through the air, carrying a message. "In the realm of sacrifice, warriors become eternal," he murmurs, glaring towards the ground.
The ronin stands tall, a silent guardian amidst the remnants of conflict, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. In his quiet yet peaceful presence, the fallen warriors find solace, their sacrifices acknowledged, and their memory preserved. And as the moon rises over the battlefield, casting its cool hues upon the landscape, the ronin steps forward, his dull eyes focused on the crimson moon above.
~
Shinkoku (The continent) is a land of captivating contrasts. Beautiful forests bursting with vibrant wildlife give way to serene bamboo groves, where the whisper of the wind through the slender stalks creates an ethereal melody. Rolling plains, adorned with fields of swaying golden wheat, provide a picturesque backdrop for peaceful villages and thriving farmlands. The continent is dotted with sacred sites, where towering buildings and tranquil shrines stand as testaments to the spiritual connection between mortals and the divine. Hidden within the depths of ancient forests and atop mist-shrouded mountains, these sacred places serve as gateways to realms unseen and hold the wisdom of generations past.
Shinkoku is a realm steeped in history and honor. The ruins of ancient empires, crumbling castles, and battle-scarred fortresses stand as echoes of the conflicts that have shaped the land. The echoes of the samurai's code of Bushido resonate through the mountains, carrying tales of noble warriors who upheld their honor and fought for justice. Yet… Many seemingly are stuck in the past.
But amidst the breathtaking beauty and profound tranquility, shadows lurk in the corners of Shinkoku. Political intrigues simmer in the palaces of powerful daimyos, while clandestine organizations seek to exploit the realm's hidden secrets. Supernatural creatures, both benevolent and malevolent, roam the land, their presence shaping the destinies of mortals and spirits alike.
And at the top of it all, the shogun of Shinkoku rules eternal.
~
Interested? Go ahead and fill out this google Forum! I look forward to seeing you all :) Note this post will be closed once I feel I've gotten enough responses, or its been 24 hours! If you have any questions, leave them below!
Cheers!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd0xDzQVpmStcfTLsIl5BKuNdSQrXyBJMHCRfv\_8fkZxX6FIA/viewform?usp=sf\_link
2023.06.03 05:52 OppositeAd9067 I need help figuring out what I can do to clear my mind.
My ex and I split up 5 months ago after being together for 3 years. I believed I was fine without him, but after we talked again, he was the one who contacted me again.
We chose to be pals again because we had been in the past, so I didn't see any danger in doing so, but I had no idea it would be a perilous decision I made while momentarily mended.
I realize I was stupid, but I also miss having him as a friend. We split up healthy, with no other concerns. really we went out since he wanted to see me, and I invited him as well. Everything was really peaceful. We used to play games every evening until midnight while on call, and you can tell there's no reason for me not to fall in love again.
I'm getting anxious, I can't keep my feelings in check, I try to be brave, but before I performed the confession, I asked myself many times if I'm really sure, and I responded, "I think I'm really sure."
I stated that "my feelings are slowly turning back" and he stated that "internal feelings like what I have in the past with him?"
and he said he is not willing to take any responsibility for my feelings and yet he said that we can use my feelings of having a crush on him when the time is right that made me confused and he said that he can be my friend without crossing the line everything he said made me confused.
also, I said ok I can't take that, that would only hurt me and he said no need to go away because once we took the risk again like in our past it's like a gamble. I tell him that we should stop chatting, and it's been three days, and I'm really missing him.
I question him about whether he played on my emotions and took advantage of me.
and he said, "Somehow but not my intentions?" Sometimes I think he's simply uttering those words to keep me but is now willing to do it...
submitted by OppositeAd9067 to adultingph [link] [comments]
We chose to be pals again because we had been in the past, so I didn't see any danger in doing so, but I had no idea it would be a perilous decision I made while momentarily mended.
I realize I was stupid, but I also miss having him as a friend. We split up healthy, with no other concerns. really we went out since he wanted to see me, and I invited him as well. Everything was really peaceful. We used to play games every evening until midnight while on call, and you can tell there's no reason for me not to fall in love again.
I'm getting anxious, I can't keep my feelings in check, I try to be brave, but before I performed the confession, I asked myself many times if I'm really sure, and I responded, "I think I'm really sure."
I stated that "my feelings are slowly turning back" and he stated that "internal feelings like what I have in the past with him?"
and he said he is not willing to take any responsibility for my feelings and yet he said that we can use my feelings of having a crush on him when the time is right that made me confused and he said that he can be my friend without crossing the line everything he said made me confused.
also, I said ok I can't take that, that would only hurt me and he said no need to go away because once we took the risk again like in our past it's like a gamble. I tell him that we should stop chatting, and it's been three days, and I'm really missing him.
I question him about whether he played on my emotions and took advantage of me.
and he said, "Somehow but not my intentions?" Sometimes I think he's simply uttering those words to keep me but is now willing to do it...
2023.06.03 05:52 Big_Assist4950 LU BU is still the STRONGEST human (excluding adam)
 | submitted by Big_Assist4950 to ShuumatsuNoValkyrie [link] [comments] He is still the strongest Lubu is incredibly underrated, but what many don't realize is that he still remains the strongest human since Adam. In this image of the post I put everyone who is defeated by Lubu, and I intend to give an explanation for each one of them about how Lubu is among the strongest of the verse. It is surprising how much Lubu is underestimated by the fandom, even though he has already shown feats that make him the most balanced fighter of humanity. Strength, stamina, durability, speed, explosiveness, reflexes... Its spinoff literally starts with the narrator saying that Lubu is the strongest under the sky, besides that he has reached the apex of human potential. Lubu's physical attributes are extremely well-balanced, which allows him to perform well against everyone in the squad, winning most of them. Characters like Jack, Heracles and Zero I think I don't need to elaborate too much to show that Lubu wins, so I'll just pass them by. Raiden: With volund he is physically stronger than Lubu, but that's about it. Raiden has already shown that he can't compete in stamina, speed and damage potential, as well as having the substantial disadvantage of fighting unarmed, consequently converting to a range disadvantage. Raiden can't dodge all of Lubu's blows, his muscles aren't stopping the halberd's blows. Hajun: Many may feel that Hajun is stronger than Lubu, but the manga doesn't show enough evidence of this. Hajun might have the advantage in attack speed and durability, but a fight between two fighters so physically fit would inevitably be decided by the strongest blow of each. Although Hajun is fast, he is not fast enough to overwhelm Lubu, as Buddha with no Future Sight was managing to block most of the hits, which remained even when he only had one eye. Going for Hajun's strongest attack (said by him), Buddha managed to block completely. We know that Buda doesn't even come close to Lubu in the physical aspect, so if someone so inferior in that aspect managed to hold back Hajun's strength, there's no doubt that Lubu could. Lubu fully defended Thor's Hammer, which even he already had a remarkably higher energy release than the Flames of Glory. Furthermore, Sky Eater managed to counter the strongest blow of the physically strongest god and with the strongest divine weapon, all of which are eclipsing Hajun by a good margin. Sky Eater > Flames of Glory. Shiva: Extremely tough fight, perhaps the most 50/50 here. Shiva undoubtedly has the speed to pressure Lubu, and his flames can definitely hurt his tough physique. Raiden with his muscle manipulation can create a defensive wall, but in a normal condition it is not possible to say that he is objectively more durable than Lubu, and if so, there is no way to quantify how much. Anyway, Lubu has already reacted to many quick strikes in his spinoff, and his halberd would certainly be more effective in blocking Shiva's attacks, as they better prevent the flames from coming into direct contact with Lubu. However, the main reason that I think is decisive here is personality. Shiva is very arrogant and proud, it is likely that he would try to decide in a direct contest of strength. Given how Shiva behaves, he would choose to face the Sky Eater... That's how he fights. Sasaki: Sasaki is a versatile fighter, but lacks some attributes that would allow him to hold his own in this fight. We don't know how Sasaki would fare against fighters with the profile. Blocking with the sword wouldn't work, it would immediately break under Lubu's strength. Unlike Poseidon, Lubu starts his fights with the intention of finishing off the first strike, meaning Sasaki wouldn't have the extra time he had to analyze. Sasaki starts out much weaker than Lubu, this fight is all about who gets to the other first. In other words, is Lubu going to throw a Sky Eater before Sasaki fully adjusts to his style? It's unlikely, as the spinoff showed that lubu has excellent resistance to cuts (being able to block with his arms blades that cut bears like butter, this when he was only 8 years old), while Sasaki has no resistance to massive blows, being one of the weakest fighters physically. Analyzing the fighters, Lubu would be able to do better, as he doesn't need time to reach his peak. Qin: Lubu is a direct counter to Qin due to the nature of its volunds. Considering that a simple halberd strike would destroy one of the shoulder pads, it would be difficult for Qin to continue since he can't just use his volund to block. Even if Qin switched to the sword, it wouldn't do much good, his volund is still defensive and would remain at the mercy of the shield breaker. The air bubble would be an issue, as Lubu has no direct response to them. In practice Qin would only be postponing an inevitable defeat. Without the deflection he cannot break the halberd, it would be a matter of time before Lubu manages to connect a Sky Eater from afar. Not only that, Lubu is canonically declared above Qin, he is often called the strongest in the history of China, and the beginning of his spinoff says that no emperor deserves the title of strongest more than Lubu. It's not about opinion, Lubu is above Qin narratively. Beelzebu: Same reason as Qin, the shield breaker is a strong counter to Bel's ability. The caos god can have its impact reduced by the Sky Eater, whereas any attack from the Lubu would consistently destroy Bel's shield. Without Hell's Gate to defend and with the caos God severely reduced, Bel couldn't do much else, it would be a matter of time before Lubu destroyed the staff or slashed Bel himself. Sorath's variations are no stronger than Lubu's strongest attack, and we saw in its spinoff that more than one Sky Eater is possible if needed. Hades: Basically the same thing as Hajun, where the fight is decided by the stronger attack of both, and again the lubu attack stands out. Ico Desmos doesn't have any feats or citations that could scale to Sky Eater or higher, just thinking it can isn't enough. Destroying a Qin volund is equivalent to accepting Geirrod head on? From the scale of feats it doesn't seem like it, as a volund being destroyed happens more often than a Geirrod scale feat. Lubu is also faster than Hades, tougher and more durable. Something that is often overlooked by the community is that Heimdall was having trouble narrating the first round, whereas with others besides poseidon vs sasaki he doesn't seem to have that problem. It goes to show that first-round fighters are often underestimated in speed, but the spinoff does well to fill that gap. Tesla: Lubu can destroy the zone with the sky eater, and without it Tesla cannot keep up. He's not as fast without tesla steps, his teleport doesn't work without the zone. Basically he cannot make use of his best strategies. In this situation, any massive attack from the Lubu could damage the armor's functioning, the absence of maximum acceleration would weigh heavily here. Even if Tesla managed to recover the zone eventually, Lubu would not be lost. He has the durability to take a lot of Tesla's punches, in addition to being able to destroy the ground with his attacks and limit the tesla steps again. Nothing works well for Tesla, it's a bad combination. You can question many results here, but first of all check if your belief in Lubu's defeat is based on logical reasoning with the power scale or if it's just because you don't like Lubu. What makes this character so standout is how well balanced his strengths are. Sasaki has hax, but lacks strength and durability. Shiva has speed, but lacks durability and reaction. Tesla also has speed, but lacks experience and firepower. Beelzebu has attack and defense, but its durability and strength are lower. Hades has the same stat distribution as Lubu, but on a slightly smaller scale and with a time limit because of the suicide technique. Regardless of skills or tributes, Lubu manages to exploit many of the disadvantages that these other fighters I mentioned have, but not all have to exploit anything in lubu, he is monstrous in everything. It's hard to compete for strength, it's hard to compete for durability, it's hard to compete for speed. In the spinoff we see lubu casually having all kinds of demonstrations, he is a warrior formed on the battlefield for decades, it is not because the first round had less demonstration of speed that he is slow. If you look at the lubu without a bias, you'll quickly understand why it is said to have reached the peak of humanity. |
2023.06.03 05:51 _depression101 Should I quit my internship?
I'm a second year mechanical engineering student going into my third year.
Right now I'm working two internships. We'll call them "manufacturing internship" and "design internship."
I started the manufacturing internship at the beginning of May for $17/hour x 40 hours per week. I really had my hopes up because in the job description, and during the interview process, my supervisor played up the role. I was under the impression that about 50% of the job would be tooling design, and the rest would be a combination process design, and other bits and bobs. Then I started the internship. I've done almost none of what was in the job description - I don't even have a Solidworks license to do tooling design. At the beginning, I did maybe a couple hours of tooling design because another engineer let me work on his computer ... and that's it, that's the only mechanical design experience I've gotten from this internship. When they say "process design," they mean "make travelers for the production runs." Then the other "bits and bobs" are literally 90% of the job: datasheets, organizing things, "verifying" information, and straight up faking missing data.
That's the other thing I dislike about this company: they're dishonest with the work they do. They're months behind on work, so to compensate, they outsource some products to outside vendors and resell it marked up 500%, and pass it off as their own. This in and of itself isn't bad, especially since it is pretty common practice... The problem comes when they fake data - they need to scan their products to make sure they meet certain optical requirements, but when they get something from an outside vendor, they just straight up fake the data... which is especially frustrating because they literally have the equipment to scan it, they just don't. This applies to their own products as well. Missing a scan? Fake data. The scan shows the product isn't up to spec? They "adjust" it. A customer requires a scan they're not capable of taking? More fake data. And they push a lot of this "faking" and "adjusting" onto me. It feels like the only reason they hired me was so they can push liability onto someone less significant, which is probably the case.
I can't get myself to stare at/make fake datasheets for 40 hours a week so I've been using python scripts to fast track the process. This opened up a huge amount of time in my schedule to do other stuff so I was hoping leverage that fact to get me on some tooling design projects or something of the like... but when I talked to them, they just told me they're having trouble getting a Solidworks license. So I've been following up (both via email and in person) literally every two days and I still don't have a CAD software to use... which is a common pattern. I bring something up and they'll "put me on a project," but I'll need XYZ to do that project and they'll never give me XYZ regardless of how many times I follow up... so I end up doing busywork.
To be honest, working here really beats me down. I'm barely getting any mechanical engineering experience, this position won't help me in my career, and I just feel very mislead and used. I hate this company and I'm here for no other reason than the money, and I will happily take it from them.
The design internship, on the other hand, has been much better. I got the offer about 1.5 weeks ago. I requested to be put on second shift with the manufacturing internship supervisor so I could take the first shift position at the design internship, and I started working at the new place a week ago. This past week I worked about 35 hours with the design internship and 25 hours with the manufacturing internship.
I'm confident that this new internship is better: I learned more there on my first day than I learned in my entire manufacturing internship. They pay $22/hour. For interns, they target about 50% of hours being billable work and 50% paid learning through various courses they have internally, and with other companies. I also get a 401k and health insurance. They have several other interns who have been there a while and can attest to the job being pretty accurate to the job description, and the whole team seems pretty honest in their work.
So anyway... my question is: do I keep my old manufacturing internship, or should I just migrate entirely over to the new design internship? Part of my motive for keeping the manufacturing internship is that I still (for some reason) have hope that I'll get some decent manufacturing experience / mechanical design experience related to manufacturing. Even though I plan on going more into the design side of things in my career, I think having some background in manufacturing is valuable because it gives you a more intimate understanding of how a factory floor works, which can help guide design decisions. I can also leverage that in future internships/jobs/interviews. My other main motive is money. I know money is not everything, but keeping the manufacturing internship means I'll have an additional $3000 in my pocket at the end of summer. This is the first time in my life I've been doing better than just breaking even and having that $3000 in my pocket is a lot to me. If I only work for the design internship, I'll still have a decent surplus for these next few months, but I kind of want to just suck it up this summer and work both internships for the extra $3000... even though just this one week at 60 hours + classes has kinda been eating away at me.
What would you do in my shoes? Any advice is appreciated
TLDR: I have a toxic relationship with an employer, then a new employer finally showed me what it's like to be treated right. I plan to pursue things with the new employer, but I'm not sure whether I should continue to dig gold from my first employer.
submitted by _depression101 to EngineeringStudents [link] [comments]
Right now I'm working two internships. We'll call them "manufacturing internship" and "design internship."
I started the manufacturing internship at the beginning of May for $17/hour x 40 hours per week. I really had my hopes up because in the job description, and during the interview process, my supervisor played up the role. I was under the impression that about 50% of the job would be tooling design, and the rest would be a combination process design, and other bits and bobs. Then I started the internship. I've done almost none of what was in the job description - I don't even have a Solidworks license to do tooling design. At the beginning, I did maybe a couple hours of tooling design because another engineer let me work on his computer ... and that's it, that's the only mechanical design experience I've gotten from this internship. When they say "process design," they mean "make travelers for the production runs." Then the other "bits and bobs" are literally 90% of the job: datasheets, organizing things, "verifying" information, and straight up faking missing data.
That's the other thing I dislike about this company: they're dishonest with the work they do. They're months behind on work, so to compensate, they outsource some products to outside vendors and resell it marked up 500%, and pass it off as their own. This in and of itself isn't bad, especially since it is pretty common practice... The problem comes when they fake data - they need to scan their products to make sure they meet certain optical requirements, but when they get something from an outside vendor, they just straight up fake the data... which is especially frustrating because they literally have the equipment to scan it, they just don't. This applies to their own products as well. Missing a scan? Fake data. The scan shows the product isn't up to spec? They "adjust" it. A customer requires a scan they're not capable of taking? More fake data. And they push a lot of this "faking" and "adjusting" onto me. It feels like the only reason they hired me was so they can push liability onto someone less significant, which is probably the case.
I can't get myself to stare at/make fake datasheets for 40 hours a week so I've been using python scripts to fast track the process. This opened up a huge amount of time in my schedule to do other stuff so I was hoping leverage that fact to get me on some tooling design projects or something of the like... but when I talked to them, they just told me they're having trouble getting a Solidworks license. So I've been following up (both via email and in person) literally every two days and I still don't have a CAD software to use... which is a common pattern. I bring something up and they'll "put me on a project," but I'll need XYZ to do that project and they'll never give me XYZ regardless of how many times I follow up... so I end up doing busywork.
To be honest, working here really beats me down. I'm barely getting any mechanical engineering experience, this position won't help me in my career, and I just feel very mislead and used. I hate this company and I'm here for no other reason than the money, and I will happily take it from them.
I'm confident that this new internship is better: I learned more there on my first day than I learned in my entire manufacturing internship. They pay $22/hour. For interns, they target about 50% of hours being billable work and 50% paid learning through various courses they have internally, and with other companies. I also get a 401k and health insurance. They have several other interns who have been there a while and can attest to the job being pretty accurate to the job description, and the whole team seems pretty honest in their work.
What would you do in my shoes? Any advice is appreciated
2023.06.03 05:49 _depression101 Should I quit my internship?
I'm a second year mechanical engineering student going into my third year.
Right now I'm working two internships. We'll call them "manufacturing internship" and "design internship."
I started the manufacturing internship at the beginning of May for $17/hour x 40 hours per week. I really had my hopes up because in the job description, and during the interview process, my supervisor played up the role. I was under the impression that about 50% of the job would be tooling design, and the rest would be a combination process design, and other bits and bobs. Then I started the internship. I've done almost none of what was in the job description - I don't even have a Solidworks license to do tooling design. At the beginning, I did maybe a couple hours of tooling design because another engineer let me work on his computer ... and that's it, that's the only mechanical design experience I've gotten from this internship. When they say "process design," they mean "make travelers for the production runs." Then the other "bits and bobs" are literally 90% of the job: datasheets, organizing things, "verifying" information, and straight up faking missing data.
That's the other thing I dislike about this company: they're dishonest with the work they do. They're months behind on work, so to compensate, they outsource some products to outside vendors and resell it marked up 500%, and pass it off as their own. This in and of itself isn't bad, especially since it is pretty common practice... The problem comes when they fake data - they need to scan their products to make sure they meet certain optical requirements, but when they get something from an outside vendor, they just straight up fake the data... which is especially frustrating because they literally have the equipment to scan it, they just don't. This applies to their own products as well. Missing a scan? Fake data. The scan shows the product isn't up to spec? They "adjust" it. A customer requires a scan they're not capable of taking? More fake data. And they push a lot of this "faking" and "adjusting" onto me. It feels like the only reason they hired me was so they can push liability onto someone less significant, which is probably the case.
I can't get myself to stare at/make fake datasheets for 40 hours a week so I've been using python scripts to fast track the process. This opened up a huge amount of time in my schedule to do other stuff so I was hoping leverage that fact to get me on some tooling design projects or something of the like... but when I talked to them, they just told me they're having trouble getting a Solidworks license. So I've been following up (both via email and in person) literally every two days and I still don't have a CAD software to use... which is a common pattern. I bring something up and they'll "put me on a project," but I'll need XYZ to do that project and they'll never give me XYZ regardless of how many times I follow up... so I end up doing busywork.
To be honest, working here really beats me down. I'm barely getting any mechanical engineering experience, this position won't help me in my career, and I just feel very mislead and used. I hate this company and I'm here for no other reason than the money, and I will happily take it from them.
The design internship, on the other hand, has been much better. I got the offer about 1.5 weeks ago. I requested to be put on second shift with the manufacturing internship supervisor so I could take the first shift position at the design internship, and I started working at the new place a week ago. This past week I worked about 35 hours with the design internship and 25 hours with the manufacturing internship.
I'm confident that this new internship is better: I learned more there on my first day than I learned in my entire manufacturing internship. They pay $22/hour. For interns, they target about 50% of hours being billable work and 50% paid learning through various courses they have internally, and with other companies. I also get a 401k and health insurance. They have several other interns who have been there a while and can attest to the job being pretty accurate to the job description, and the whole team seems pretty honest in their work.
So anyway... my question is: do I keep my old manufacturing internship, or should I just migrate entirely over to the new design internship? Part of my motive for keeping the manufacturing internship is that I still (for some reason) have hope that I'll get some decent manufacturing experience / mechanical design experience related to manufacturing. Even though I plan on going more into the design side of things in my career, I think having some background in manufacturing is valuable because it gives you a more intimate understanding of how a factory floor works, which can help guide design decisions. I can also leverage that in future internships/jobs/interviews. My other main motive is money. I know money is not everything, but keeping the manufacturing internship means I'll have an additional $3000 in my pocket at the end of summer. This is the first time in my life I've been doing better than just breaking even and having that $3000 in my pocket is a lot to me. If I only work for the design internship, I'll still have a decent surplus for these next few months, but I kind of want to just suck it up this summer and work both internships for the extra $3000... even though just this one week at 60 hours + classes has kinda been eating away at me.
What would you do in my shoes? Any advice is appreciated
TLDR: I have a toxic relationship with an employer, then a new employer finally showed me what it's like to be treated right. I plan to pursue things with the new employer, but I'm not sure whether I should continue to dig gold from my first employer.
submitted by _depression101 to careeradvice [link] [comments]
Right now I'm working two internships. We'll call them "manufacturing internship" and "design internship."
I started the manufacturing internship at the beginning of May for $17/hour x 40 hours per week. I really had my hopes up because in the job description, and during the interview process, my supervisor played up the role. I was under the impression that about 50% of the job would be tooling design, and the rest would be a combination process design, and other bits and bobs. Then I started the internship. I've done almost none of what was in the job description - I don't even have a Solidworks license to do tooling design. At the beginning, I did maybe a couple hours of tooling design because another engineer let me work on his computer ... and that's it, that's the only mechanical design experience I've gotten from this internship. When they say "process design," they mean "make travelers for the production runs." Then the other "bits and bobs" are literally 90% of the job: datasheets, organizing things, "verifying" information, and straight up faking missing data.
That's the other thing I dislike about this company: they're dishonest with the work they do. They're months behind on work, so to compensate, they outsource some products to outside vendors and resell it marked up 500%, and pass it off as their own. This in and of itself isn't bad, especially since it is pretty common practice... The problem comes when they fake data - they need to scan their products to make sure they meet certain optical requirements, but when they get something from an outside vendor, they just straight up fake the data... which is especially frustrating because they literally have the equipment to scan it, they just don't. This applies to their own products as well. Missing a scan? Fake data. The scan shows the product isn't up to spec? They "adjust" it. A customer requires a scan they're not capable of taking? More fake data. And they push a lot of this "faking" and "adjusting" onto me. It feels like the only reason they hired me was so they can push liability onto someone less significant, which is probably the case.
I can't get myself to stare at/make fake datasheets for 40 hours a week so I've been using python scripts to fast track the process. This opened up a huge amount of time in my schedule to do other stuff so I was hoping leverage that fact to get me on some tooling design projects or something of the like... but when I talked to them, they just told me they're having trouble getting a Solidworks license. So I've been following up (both via email and in person) literally every two days and I still don't have a CAD software to use... which is a common pattern. I bring something up and they'll "put me on a project," but I'll need XYZ to do that project and they'll never give me XYZ regardless of how many times I follow up... so I end up doing busywork.
To be honest, working here really beats me down. I'm barely getting any mechanical engineering experience, this position won't help me in my career, and I just feel very mislead and used. I hate this company and I'm here for no other reason than the money, and I will happily take it from them.
I'm confident that this new internship is better: I learned more there on my first day than I learned in my entire manufacturing internship. They pay $22/hour. For interns, they target about 50% of hours being billable work and 50% paid learning through various courses they have internally, and with other companies. I also get a 401k and health insurance. They have several other interns who have been there a while and can attest to the job being pretty accurate to the job description, and the whole team seems pretty honest in their work.
What would you do in my shoes? Any advice is appreciated
2023.06.03 05:49 toofacedsugar17 Romanticizing the past: Fi-Si Loop
I took quite a long break from my obsession with MBTI. My last big research and ruminate period was 2020 when i was 18.
I've noticed that for a long, long time now, I've been focused on the past and nostalgia. I've done this my entire life where I've heavily romanticized a period in my life and become so obsessed with it that I get depressed (i have depression anyways but its out of control at these times). Growing up, I romanticized 2012 (the year i made a lot of new friends online) 2016 (when i graduated 8th grade and hung out w friends often) and 2019 A WHOLEEEE TON (beginning of my senior year, hung out with my enfp best friend everyday, was single, and worked w/ a bunch of ppl my age and flirted with boyysss ooo). I remember in 2020 thinking, "wow, the best time of my life was only # months ago"
Ok so anyways, I smoked a bit today and thought "hm, im focused on the past and going absolutely bonkers with it. that sounds like a Fi-Si loop" and revisited MBTI. I am most definitely fi-si looping to the extreme. However, I seem to be focusing on times in my life where my Ne was heavily utilized.
My question is, should I try to replicate the mindset of these moments in my life? Not as much replicating what I was doing or thinking, but utilizing the "anything can happen" mindset (Ne) to GTFO of Fi-Si.
I never really understood Fi-Si loops until literally today so I hope this helps some of you peoples understand it because I just had to be told the word romanticizing instead of ruminating for me to actually get it. Also answer my question and tell me your thoughts I'd like to read many thoughts
submitted by toofacedsugar17 to infp [link] [comments]
I've noticed that for a long, long time now, I've been focused on the past and nostalgia. I've done this my entire life where I've heavily romanticized a period in my life and become so obsessed with it that I get depressed (i have depression anyways but its out of control at these times). Growing up, I romanticized 2012 (the year i made a lot of new friends online) 2016 (when i graduated 8th grade and hung out w friends often) and 2019 A WHOLEEEE TON (beginning of my senior year, hung out with my enfp best friend everyday, was single, and worked w/ a bunch of ppl my age and flirted with boyysss ooo). I remember in 2020 thinking, "wow, the best time of my life was only # months ago"
Ok so anyways, I smoked a bit today and thought "hm, im focused on the past and going absolutely bonkers with it. that sounds like a Fi-Si loop" and revisited MBTI. I am most definitely fi-si looping to the extreme. However, I seem to be focusing on times in my life where my Ne was heavily utilized.
My question is, should I try to replicate the mindset of these moments in my life? Not as much replicating what I was doing or thinking, but utilizing the "anything can happen" mindset (Ne) to GTFO of Fi-Si.
I never really understood Fi-Si loops until literally today so I hope this helps some of you peoples understand it because I just had to be told the word romanticizing instead of ruminating for me to actually get it. Also answer my question and tell me your thoughts I'd like to read many thoughts
2023.06.03 05:49 _depression101 Should I quit my internship?
I'm a second year mechanical engineering student going into my third year.
Right now I'm working two internships. We'll call them "manufacturing internship" and "design internship."
I started the manufacturing internship at the beginning of May for $17/hour x 40 hours per week. I really had my hopes up because in the job description, and during the interview process, my supervisor played up the role. I was under the impression that about 50% of the job would be tooling design, and the rest would be a combination process design, and other bits and bobs. Then I started the internship. I've done almost none of what was in the job description - I don't even have a Solidworks license to do tooling design. At the beginning, I did maybe a couple hours of tooling design because another engineer let me work on his computer ... and that's it, that's the only mechanical design experience I've gotten from this internship. When they say "process design," they mean "make travelers for the production runs." Then the other "bits and bobs" are literally 90% of the job: datasheets, organizing things, "verifying" information, and straight up faking missing data.
That's the other thing I dislike about this company: they're dishonest with the work they do. They're months behind on work, so to compensate, they outsource some products to outside vendors and resell it marked up 500%, and pass it off as their own. This in and of itself isn't bad, especially since it is pretty common practice... The problem comes when they fake data - they need to scan their products to make sure they meet certain optical requirements, but when they get something from an outside vendor, they just straight up fake the data... which is especially frustrating because they literally have the equipment to scan it, they just don't. This applies to their own products as well. Missing a scan? Fake data. The scan shows the product isn't up to spec? They "adjust" it. A customer requires a scan they're not capable of taking? More fake data. And they push a lot of this "faking" and "adjusting" onto me. It feels like the only reason they hired me was so they can push liability onto someone less significant, which is probably the case.
I can't get myself to stare at/make fake datasheets for 40 hours a week so I've been using python scripts to fast track the process. This opened up a huge amount of time in my schedule to do other stuff so I was hoping leverage that fact to get me on some tooling design projects or something of the like... but when I talked to them, they just told me they're having trouble getting a Solidworks license. So I've been following up (both via email and in person) literally every two days and I still don't have a CAD software to use... which is a common pattern. I bring something up and they'll "put me on a project," but I'll need XYZ to do that project and they'll never give me XYZ regardless of how many times I follow up... so I end up doing busywork.
To be honest, working here really beats me down. I'm barely getting any mechanical engineering experience, this position won't help me in my career, and I just feel very mislead and used. I hate this company and I'm here for no other reason than the money, and I will happily take it from them.
The design internship, on the other hand, has been much better. I got the offer about 1.5 weeks ago. I requested to be put on second shift with the manufacturing internship supervisor so I could take the first shift position at the design internship, and I started working at the new place a week ago. This past week I worked about 35 hours with the design internship and 25 hours with the manufacturing internship.
I'm confident that this new internship is better: I learned more there on my first day than I learned in my entire manufacturing internship. They pay $22/hour. For interns, they target about 50% of hours being billable work and 50% paid learning through various courses they have internally, and with other companies. I also get a 401k and health insurance. They have several other interns who have been there a while and can attest to the job being pretty accurate to the job description, and the whole team seems pretty honest in their work.
So anyway... my question is: do I keep my old manufacturing internship, or should I just migrate entirely over to the new design internship? Part of my motive for keeping the manufacturing internship is that I still (for some reason) have hope that I'll get some decent manufacturing experience / mechanical design experience related to manufacturing. Even though I plan on going more into the design side of things in my career, I think having some background in manufacturing is valuable because it gives you a more intimate understanding of how a factory floor works, which can help guide design decisions. I can also leverage that in future internships/jobs/interviews. My other main motive is money. I know money is not everything, but keeping the manufacturing internship means I'll have an additional $3000 in my pocket at the end of summer. This is the first time in my life I've been doing better than just breaking even and having that $3000 in my pocket is a lot to me. If I only work for the design internship, I'll still have a decent surplus for these next few months, but I kind of want to just suck it up this summer and work both internships for the extra $3000... even though just this one week at 60 hours + classes has kinda been eating away at me.
What would you do in my shoes? Any advice is appreciated
TLDR: I have a toxic relationship with an employer, then a new employer finally showed me what it's like to be treated right. I plan to pursue things with the new employer, but I'm not sure whether I should continue to dig gold from my first employer.
submitted by _depression101 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
Right now I'm working two internships. We'll call them "manufacturing internship" and "design internship."
I started the manufacturing internship at the beginning of May for $17/hour x 40 hours per week. I really had my hopes up because in the job description, and during the interview process, my supervisor played up the role. I was under the impression that about 50% of the job would be tooling design, and the rest would be a combination process design, and other bits and bobs. Then I started the internship. I've done almost none of what was in the job description - I don't even have a Solidworks license to do tooling design. At the beginning, I did maybe a couple hours of tooling design because another engineer let me work on his computer ... and that's it, that's the only mechanical design experience I've gotten from this internship. When they say "process design," they mean "make travelers for the production runs." Then the other "bits and bobs" are literally 90% of the job: datasheets, organizing things, "verifying" information, and straight up faking missing data.
That's the other thing I dislike about this company: they're dishonest with the work they do. They're months behind on work, so to compensate, they outsource some products to outside vendors and resell it marked up 500%, and pass it off as their own. This in and of itself isn't bad, especially since it is pretty common practice... The problem comes when they fake data - they need to scan their products to make sure they meet certain optical requirements, but when they get something from an outside vendor, they just straight up fake the data... which is especially frustrating because they literally have the equipment to scan it, they just don't. This applies to their own products as well. Missing a scan? Fake data. The scan shows the product isn't up to spec? They "adjust" it. A customer requires a scan they're not capable of taking? More fake data. And they push a lot of this "faking" and "adjusting" onto me. It feels like the only reason they hired me was so they can push liability onto someone less significant, which is probably the case.
I can't get myself to stare at/make fake datasheets for 40 hours a week so I've been using python scripts to fast track the process. This opened up a huge amount of time in my schedule to do other stuff so I was hoping leverage that fact to get me on some tooling design projects or something of the like... but when I talked to them, they just told me they're having trouble getting a Solidworks license. So I've been following up (both via email and in person) literally every two days and I still don't have a CAD software to use... which is a common pattern. I bring something up and they'll "put me on a project," but I'll need XYZ to do that project and they'll never give me XYZ regardless of how many times I follow up... so I end up doing busywork.
To be honest, working here really beats me down. I'm barely getting any mechanical engineering experience, this position won't help me in my career, and I just feel very mislead and used. I hate this company and I'm here for no other reason than the money, and I will happily take it from them.
I'm confident that this new internship is better: I learned more there on my first day than I learned in my entire manufacturing internship. They pay $22/hour. For interns, they target about 50% of hours being billable work and 50% paid learning through various courses they have internally, and with other companies. I also get a 401k and health insurance. They have several other interns who have been there a while and can attest to the job being pretty accurate to the job description, and the whole team seems pretty honest in their work.
What would you do in my shoes? Any advice is appreciated
2023.06.03 05:47 ansi09 ElusivPrivacy Launched Elusiv SDK - The First Fully Open-source, Privacy-centric SDK On Solana Mainnet
 | Source: https://twitter.com/elusivprivacy/status/1664632553318359040 submitted by ansi09 to solana [link] [comments] We are excited to announce the launch of the Elusiv SDK on @solana Mainnet! ☂️🔥https://reddit.com/link/13yzrlm/video/2xeqlztv4q3b1/player 1/ Our goal is to see privacy become a fundamental capability on @solana.https://preview.redd.it/02of20xz4q3b1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=5d9d0248680c4bf0d0a30ec31d19e3079ea3e259 2/ Our core focus in the wake of this launch is empowering developers to build privacy-preserving applications. ☂️🛠️ 3/ First, we have partnered with @encodeclub for a bootcamp and hackathon sponsored by the @SolanaFndn , providing hands-on support for devs looking to build with Elusiv. There are also significant earning opportunities. 👀https://preview.redd.it/czcfxut55q3b1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=e06e249ce61a04ee5c7fec0029604efc9d80862a 4/ There is now a u/SuperteamDAO bounty live with a prize total of $1500 USDC for building an MVP with the SDK! 🔥https://preview.redd.it/19wdp7x95q3b1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=b2c9e2499faf067be2e32f5668fe40ea7deb57c9 5/ We are collaborating with @SuperteamVN for a workshop on June 8 given by our co-founder 6/ We are also thrilled to announce monthly community calls where we will host talks and workshops about privacy, ZK, and building with our SDK. This is also a great place to get in touch with the team. 😁 7/ Key resources include:https://preview.redd.it/fmmjhxdk5q3b1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=64d7a7d15e6db4463d016e3119ce158f35c1a9b4 Today, we are one step closer to mass adoption. We are excited to see all the new and existing applications integrate the Elusiv SDK. ☄️ |
2023.06.03 05:46 Queasy_Ad9031 Looking for advice and thoughts
Short story- a vet told me switch dog food, I did, and now my dog is having bloody poops and I don't know how to tell them never want to see that vet again or whether I just find a new vet.
Long story- I've been bringing my dogs (12yr and 13yr mutts) to the same vet for as long as I've been in financial control of them (they are my childhood dogs and obviously couldn't afford vet bills as a kid and my parents didn't care about them but that's not what this is about), in the beginning of the year I brought them in for their bi yearly check up and vaccination renewals, and I saw a vet who my dogs have never seen before and she kept making weird comments and her the vet tech were very passive aggressive towards each other, which made me feel kind of on gaurd because I've worked with this tech many times and this is the first I have ever seen her be snarky towards a vet and she's always been very friend to me. During the check the vet said that she could hear a slight heart murmur one on dog and gave me a referral out to a place with the machines to properly diagnose her, not a problem was actually greatful she caught it, but then it was came time for a recap of the whole appt and she brought up the food I was feeding, instinct frozen raw food(I know it's controversial but that's not what we're here for), which none of the other vets have faught with me about after I explained all the good it did for my dogs, and she kept badgering me to change to a vet recommended brand, which I caved to bc even though both of my dogs actually enjoyed this food (one is a very picky/timid eater) and were finally at their target weights, I decided to listen to her and switch to purina pro plan senior, now here comes the problem, the elder dog is now having blood runny poops. I am pissed. This only started a few days after fully transitioning over to purina. My problem isn't with purina, I know many professionals love it, which is understandable its worked great for many dogs, my problem is that none of this would have happened if this vet hadn't been so pushy even after I explained all the good that had come from it. I need to now bring my dog into them again to see what's going on and make sure she's no internally bleeding or something but I don't want to see that woman ever again and every time I think about calling I don't know what to say bc I don't want them to be mad at me bc I'm sure I'm gonna sound like a huge jerk saying I don't want that vet touching my dogs. Im dog groomer and worked retail a long time, I'm not stupid to how we talk about owners out of ear shot. Part of me wants to just switch vets but this is the first time I've ever had a problem and don't want to throw away a 5 year relationship just bc of one vet, so what do you guys think?
submitted by Queasy_Ad9031 to vet [link] [comments]
Long story- I've been bringing my dogs (12yr and 13yr mutts) to the same vet for as long as I've been in financial control of them (they are my childhood dogs and obviously couldn't afford vet bills as a kid and my parents didn't care about them but that's not what this is about), in the beginning of the year I brought them in for their bi yearly check up and vaccination renewals, and I saw a vet who my dogs have never seen before and she kept making weird comments and her the vet tech were very passive aggressive towards each other, which made me feel kind of on gaurd because I've worked with this tech many times and this is the first I have ever seen her be snarky towards a vet and she's always been very friend to me. During the check the vet said that she could hear a slight heart murmur one on dog and gave me a referral out to a place with the machines to properly diagnose her, not a problem was actually greatful she caught it, but then it was came time for a recap of the whole appt and she brought up the food I was feeding, instinct frozen raw food(I know it's controversial but that's not what we're here for), which none of the other vets have faught with me about after I explained all the good it did for my dogs, and she kept badgering me to change to a vet recommended brand, which I caved to bc even though both of my dogs actually enjoyed this food (one is a very picky/timid eater) and were finally at their target weights, I decided to listen to her and switch to purina pro plan senior, now here comes the problem, the elder dog is now having blood runny poops. I am pissed. This only started a few days after fully transitioning over to purina. My problem isn't with purina, I know many professionals love it, which is understandable its worked great for many dogs, my problem is that none of this would have happened if this vet hadn't been so pushy even after I explained all the good that had come from it. I need to now bring my dog into them again to see what's going on and make sure she's no internally bleeding or something but I don't want to see that woman ever again and every time I think about calling I don't know what to say bc I don't want them to be mad at me bc I'm sure I'm gonna sound like a huge jerk saying I don't want that vet touching my dogs. Im dog groomer and worked retail a long time, I'm not stupid to how we talk about owners out of ear shot. Part of me wants to just switch vets but this is the first time I've ever had a problem and don't want to throw away a 5 year relationship just bc of one vet, so what do you guys think?
2023.06.03 05:44 Severe-Worth-4235 Little Vent
TLDR: Sometimes venting is the only way to stop having an overwhelmed pity party.
Hey everybody, happy Friday. I was off meds for 6 months, until a week ago. I am an alcoholic, been sober since September. I was hospitalized for 5 days - exactly one year ago - for very serious ideation. I stopped meds to see if it was all alcohol-fueled. I was doing fine 99% of the time, but I’m trying to get pregnant so I’m trying to be certain in my stability. I’m bipolar 2 with some psychosis under high stress. Also ADHD, PTSD, MDD. Abilify is great but it makes me extremely nauseous. I just barely started Lamictal 3 days ago. I start Latuda next week. I’m lightly nauseous, I’m so short-tempered, I wanna cry all the time (happy or sad). The worst part is, my short-term memory and word recall are horrible now. I hate medications. I just don’t wanna deal with being sick. That includes mental illness and med side effects. But I still want to live, I just wish so badly that I could go one day without being overwhelmed.
Thanks for reading and being a great community 💕
Edit: headaches, all the headaches as well
submitted by Severe-Worth-4235 to bipolar2 [link] [comments]
Hey everybody, happy Friday. I was off meds for 6 months, until a week ago. I am an alcoholic, been sober since September. I was hospitalized for 5 days - exactly one year ago - for very serious ideation. I stopped meds to see if it was all alcohol-fueled. I was doing fine 99% of the time, but I’m trying to get pregnant so I’m trying to be certain in my stability. I’m bipolar 2 with some psychosis under high stress. Also ADHD, PTSD, MDD. Abilify is great but it makes me extremely nauseous. I just barely started Lamictal 3 days ago. I start Latuda next week. I’m lightly nauseous, I’m so short-tempered, I wanna cry all the time (happy or sad). The worst part is, my short-term memory and word recall are horrible now. I hate medications. I just don’t wanna deal with being sick. That includes mental illness and med side effects. But I still want to live, I just wish so badly that I could go one day without being overwhelmed.
Thanks for reading and being a great community 💕
Edit: headaches, all the headaches as well
2023.06.03 05:43 PizdecHelpMe The Sharpest Lives needs more recognition
Out of all the songs in TBP, I think it’s one of the least talked about. So I’m going to list out all the reasons why this is my fav My Chem song: 1. THE VOCALS. Look, I’m not sure if imagined seeing this post, but I remember a year ago seeing a post and in the replies people were talking about how hard it is to sing. And you can hear it in The Black Parade is Dead. It’s taken me a long time to figure out how to sing that song without gasping, and I’m talking 9 months. Yes, 9 months and I can finally sing this song without gasping. And I’m a choir kid. 2. The bass line. Hi, I’m learning to play bass and MCR tabs are my fav tabs to play. Mainly E and A strings with fairly easy to play ones like Disenchanted, and ones I only dream about playing at the moment like Foundations. X do And The Sharpest Lives is definitely up there. I tried playing it, and I still have trouble with it. Don’t underestimate Mikey’s skills, also just look up The Sharpest Lives Bass Tab and see the difficulty for yourself. It doesn’t look that difficult until you play it, but I respect this song even more for j ust the bass line. 3. It’s just simple and nice. We have songs in TBP like WTTBP and Famous Last Words, 5 minutes songs with lots of parts, while The Sharpest Lives is just simple. There’s a first verse, pre-chorus, second verse, 3 choruses, and an interlude. It doesn’t seem that simple when I put it like that, but it is. In summary: I have a ton of respect for this song managing to be so simple yet still complicated. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
submitted by PizdecHelpMe to MyChemicalRomance [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 05:42 Yumei05 Would I (18f) be in the wrong for going to visit my long distance bf (17m) against my mother’s (34f) wishes?
I have known my bf for 3 going on 4 months and we’ve been dating for 1 going on 2 months. Recently I graduated high school and I was planning to go on a trip with my friend (18f). We planned this trip out a few months before we graduated at the end of may, but when may began I had told her before that we would need to book our flights and pay for the air bnb in advance like at the beginning of may. At that point I had already told my parents about the trip. The place we were going to go was California and it just so happened that my bf lives in Cali. (I didn’t choose the place my friend did and I went along with it cause I would also get to see my bf.) I didn’t want to force her to go there if she didn’t want to so I asked where was the place she wanted to go and that’s what she picked. Then in the second week of may I asked her again if she had told her parents about it and she said that she needs to start saving up for a car and college. I was bummed out because we had planned a whole trip and she said that she could save up a lot of money before we go and I’ve never been outside of Texas (where I live) before so I wanted someone to go to Cali with. So then I decided to just go by myself, but when I told my mother this she instantly said that I wasn’t going alone. She then started talking about all the dangers and the main thing was human trafficking. We then got into a huge argument about it and I was telling her that I was already 18 and she couldn’t force me to stay home and not go. So then she started saying things like my boyfriend could be a human trafficker, that he could be lying about his identity, and he could just be faking his whole life to me. But I pretty much know most things about him, and I am certain that he is not a trafficker. He’s pretty much told about his whole life and keeps me updated on what’s happening in his life like school, family, and friends. Then she came into my room and we talked about it and she said the only way she would let me go is if she went along too. Because before that she had told me while we were arguing that if I really wanted to go that I could just go by myself and she would not care. The tone she used was like if you wanna go so badly then just go and I won’t care about you. So I felt like I had no other choice than to let her come along. But the thing is if she goes then my 2 younger sisters would have to come along also they are 16 and 5. So up until now we’ve been planning on going but the car we were going to take (my car) needs almost $700 worth of things to fix before we would go. And I have $2,000 I was going to use for the trip. The air bnb we were going to was going to be about 650 and adding up the costs of food for 4 people, hotels, and gas. We wouldn’t really have any money for entertainments and we would be cutting it close. Or we wouldn’t have any money at all. My mom doesn’t work at the moment so all 4 of us would be depending on the 2,000. She also had asked in the beginning if I could lend her $500 since she’s going to school and would need the money supplies and gas money since the school she goes to in about a 45 minute drive from where we live, and I had agreed. So with all the costs added up 2,000 would definitely not be enough. I told her this and then she started on her rant again about how if I wanted to go alone then she wouldn’t care. Idk something about how she said it just made it seem like she was trying to guilt me out from going alone. So I needed some other people’s opinions on this. Also a side note: We planned on driving through NM, AZ, and then arriving to Cali on the 10th next week. I also really want to go see him before I leave for the Navy on the 26th of this month. But I just feel for lack of a better word “bad” since she’s angry with me and is worried for me. I understand her concerns but I will make sure to be as safe as I can. Sorry if this is all over the place I am rushing to type this out so I can hopefully read your opinions and make a decision before Monday.
submitted by Yumei05 to amiwrong [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 05:42 otiac1 The month of June is dedicated to The Sacred Heart of Jesus.
The month of June falls within the liturgical season of Ordinary Time, which is represented by the liturgical color green. This symbol of hope is the color of the sprouting seed and arouses in the faithful the hope of reaping the eternal harvest of heaven, especially the hope of a glorious resurrection. It is used in the offices and Masses of Ordinary Time.
The Holy Father's Intentions for the Month of June 2023
For the abolition of torture: We pray that the international community may commit in a concrete way to ensuring the abolition of torture and guarantee support to victims and their families. (See also Apostleship of Prayer)
Feasts for June 2023 1. Justin, Memorial
The Gospel readings for June are from St. Matthew. All Sunday readings are from Year A, and weekday readings are Cycle I.
June 4 Trinity Sunday
God sent his Son that the world might be saved through him. June 11th Corpus Christi
My flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. June 18th Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time
Jesus summoned his twelve disciples and sent them out. June 25th Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body. Highlights of the Month
As we begin to feel the warmth of summer, we can reflect that we celebrate the feasts of Trinity Sunday (June 4), Corpus Christi (June 11), the Sacred Heart of Jesus (June 16) and the Immaculate Heart of Mary (June 17). God is Love and the Sacred Heart of Jesus — present on earth in the Blessed Sacrament — is the human manifestation of God's Love for men. Appropriately June is considered the month for weddings where human hearts join and cooperate with the Creator in bringing forth new life. The family they create is a human reflection of the Blessed Trinity. The saints that we will focus on this month are:
St. Justin (June 1),
Sts. Marcellinus and Peter (June 2),
St. Charles Lwanga & Companions (June 3),
St. Boniface (June 5),
St. Norbert (June 6),
St. Ephrem (June 9),
St. Anthony of Padua (June 13),
St. Romuald (June 19),
St. Aloysius Gonzaga (June 21),
Sts. John Fisher and Thomas More (June 22),
St. Paulinus (June 22),
the Nativity of St. John the Baptist (June 24),
St. Josemaría Escrivá (June 26),
St. Cyril of Alexandria (June 27),
St. Irenaeus (June 28),
the Solemnity of Sts. Peter and Paul (June 29)
and the First Martyrs of the Church of Rome (June 30).
The feast of St. Barnabas (June 11) is superseded by the Sunday liturgy.
A Time of Love
Following Pentecost, the Church begins her slow descent from the great peaks of the Easter Season to the verdant pastures of Ordinary Time, the longest of the liturgical seasons. She pauses briefly, to praise the Holy Trinity — Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier; and then the Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ, Corpus Christi. Like the lush June growth all around us, the green of the liturgical season points to the new life won for us by the Redemption of Jesus Christ, the new life of Charity. For Our Lord came to cast the fire of His love on the earth, and to that end, sent His Holy Spirit at Pentecost in the form of tongues of fire.
Therefore, the close of the Easter season marks not the cessation but rather the beginning of Ordinary Time is the commencement of the Church’s activity. Ordinary Time is the hour to “go out to all the world and tell the good news.” The feasts of June highlight this expansion of the Church. At least ten times, the Church vests in the red of the martyrs whose blood is the very seed of her growth. She also celebrates the feasts of the Apostles Peter and Paul, and the birth of St. John the Baptist, proto-disciple and prophet.
We, too, are called to be witnesses like the apostles and martyrs. May the Heart of Jesus inflame our hearts so that we may be worthy of our Baptismal call to holiness. Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.
This item 12552 digitally provided courtesy of CatholicCulture.org
submitted by otiac1 to CatholicGamers [link] [comments]
The Holy Father's Intentions for the Month of June 2023
For the abolition of torture: We pray that the international community may commit in a concrete way to ensuring the abolition of torture and guarantee support to victims and their families. (See also Apostleship of Prayer)
Feasts for June 2023 1. Justin, Memorial
- Marcellinus & Peter; Ember Friday, Opt. Mem.
- Charles Lwanga & Companions, Memorial
- TRINITY SUNDAY, Solemnity
- Boniface, Memorial
- Norbert, Opt. Mem.
- Ephrem, Opt. Mem.
- CORPUS CHRISTI, Solemnity
- Anthony of Padua, Memorial
- SACRED HEART OF JESUS, Solemnity
- Immaculate Heart of Mary, Memorial
- ELEVENTH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME, Sunday
- Romuald, Opt. Mem.
- Aloysius Gonzaga, Memorial
- Paulinus of Nola; John Fisher & Thomas More, Opt. Mem.
- NATIVITY OF ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST, Solemnity
- TWELFTH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME, Sunday
- Josemaría Escrivá, Opt. Mem.
- Cyril of Alexandria, Opt. Mem.
- Irenaeus, Memorial
- STS PETER & PAUL, Solemnity
- First Martyrs of the Holy Roman Church, Opt. Mem.
The Gospel readings for June are from St. Matthew. All Sunday readings are from Year A, and weekday readings are Cycle I.
June 4 Trinity Sunday
God sent his Son that the world might be saved through him. June 11th Corpus Christi
My flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. June 18th Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time
Jesus summoned his twelve disciples and sent them out. June 25th Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body. Highlights of the Month
As we begin to feel the warmth of summer, we can reflect that we celebrate the feasts of Trinity Sunday (June 4), Corpus Christi (June 11), the Sacred Heart of Jesus (June 16) and the Immaculate Heart of Mary (June 17). God is Love and the Sacred Heart of Jesus — present on earth in the Blessed Sacrament — is the human manifestation of God's Love for men. Appropriately June is considered the month for weddings where human hearts join and cooperate with the Creator in bringing forth new life. The family they create is a human reflection of the Blessed Trinity. The saints that we will focus on this month are:
St. Justin (June 1),
Sts. Marcellinus and Peter (June 2),
St. Charles Lwanga & Companions (June 3),
St. Boniface (June 5),
St. Norbert (June 6),
St. Ephrem (June 9),
St. Anthony of Padua (June 13),
St. Romuald (June 19),
St. Aloysius Gonzaga (June 21),
Sts. John Fisher and Thomas More (June 22),
St. Paulinus (June 22),
the Nativity of St. John the Baptist (June 24),
St. Josemaría Escrivá (June 26),
St. Cyril of Alexandria (June 27),
St. Irenaeus (June 28),
the Solemnity of Sts. Peter and Paul (June 29)
and the First Martyrs of the Church of Rome (June 30).
The feast of St. Barnabas (June 11) is superseded by the Sunday liturgy.
A Time of Love
Following Pentecost, the Church begins her slow descent from the great peaks of the Easter Season to the verdant pastures of Ordinary Time, the longest of the liturgical seasons. She pauses briefly, to praise the Holy Trinity — Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier; and then the Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ, Corpus Christi. Like the lush June growth all around us, the green of the liturgical season points to the new life won for us by the Redemption of Jesus Christ, the new life of Charity. For Our Lord came to cast the fire of His love on the earth, and to that end, sent His Holy Spirit at Pentecost in the form of tongues of fire.
Therefore, the close of the Easter season marks not the cessation but rather the beginning of Ordinary Time is the commencement of the Church’s activity. Ordinary Time is the hour to “go out to all the world and tell the good news.” The feasts of June highlight this expansion of the Church. At least ten times, the Church vests in the red of the martyrs whose blood is the very seed of her growth. She also celebrates the feasts of the Apostles Peter and Paul, and the birth of St. John the Baptist, proto-disciple and prophet.
We, too, are called to be witnesses like the apostles and martyrs. May the Heart of Jesus inflame our hearts so that we may be worthy of our Baptismal call to holiness. Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.
This item 12552 digitally provided courtesy of CatholicCulture.org
2023.06.03 05:41 A_Bald_Nutsack Scream 5 and 6 may have not been perfect, but they are still amazing movies
I've seen lots of negative posts today about the newer films so I decided to post a little positivity since Scream 5 and 6 (Along with Scream 1 and Scream 3) Are my absolute favorite films of the franchise. I love those movies.
Let's begin with Scream 5, this movie is the absolute way you return to a franchise, we've we've many franchises return after a long hiatus and they usually end up being bad, but Scream 5 was perfect and shows how you properly return to a franchise. It gave us two of the best Ghostfaces in my opinion. Richie who is my 4th favorite Ghostface, he may not have done much in costume, but his Wes kill was BRUTAL and I love his speech and performance by Jack Quaid in the end. Amber was also amazing for the same reasons. I love how stab happy she was and Mikey's performance. And their motive is still my favorite in the franchise, many hate it but I LOVED it. It was the perfect motive for this movie, it fits with today's events and it was so creative. And it gave us new amazing characters to follow, Sam may have gotten hate in 5, but I think she was always cool. And they brought back the legacy characters in the best way that they could, while I do have some negative thoughts about Dewey's death. I still think he was handled perfectly. And this movie gave me my favorite version of Sidney, she is the badass returning final girl done right. (Sorry 2018 laurie). And the kills and lines from Ghostface were top tier. Say what you want about the writing, but I think this movie was written pretty well.
Now, Scream 6 which is my favorite sequel. This is the movie to finally acknowledge previous events in a non vague way. It was an absolute love letter to Scream fans of all the movies. And it absolutely improved on characters like Sam, Tara and Chad. If 5 didn't do these characters justice to you, this movie absolutely will. Sam was an amazing final girl, and Chad become a fan favorite of many. Say what you want about the few plot holes and weird things that happened with injuries, but that doesn't ruin the movie. It gave us one of the best Ghostfaces ever, and I think all 3 killers were amazing. What Quinn lacked in kills, she made up for her with her acting and her dialogue with Gale. Ethan and Wayne gave us some of the most iconic sequences in the franchises. And I think these 3 killers were Mrs. Loomis but done better and correctly. I still love Mrs. Loomis, but she was mad over a son she abandoned? She's still allowed to be upset but you abandoned him. Bailey never abandoned his son, and his motive wasn't just "You killed my son so now you die!". It was more so "You killed my son in an absolute monstrous way, you are too unhinged to be kept alive." And they did justice to Kirby with her return. And this movie finally changed a lot from the formula of the other 5 (which isn't a bad formula, all of those movies are amazing to me.) But you gotta respect this movie for being different. And the Shrine was an absolute highlight. Most of the movies tend to gloss over the previous ones, but this one didn't. It followed up the events of 5 and went beyond and gave us so many references to the first 4.
All in all, these movies have their issues, yes. But we should be grateful they haven't gone downhill like other franchises like Friday the 13th, NOES and Halloween. These movies still have enjoyability and their problems are extremely small.
submitted by A_Bald_Nutsack to Scream [link] [comments]
Let's begin with Scream 5, this movie is the absolute way you return to a franchise, we've we've many franchises return after a long hiatus and they usually end up being bad, but Scream 5 was perfect and shows how you properly return to a franchise. It gave us two of the best Ghostfaces in my opinion. Richie who is my 4th favorite Ghostface, he may not have done much in costume, but his Wes kill was BRUTAL and I love his speech and performance by Jack Quaid in the end. Amber was also amazing for the same reasons. I love how stab happy she was and Mikey's performance. And their motive is still my favorite in the franchise, many hate it but I LOVED it. It was the perfect motive for this movie, it fits with today's events and it was so creative. And it gave us new amazing characters to follow, Sam may have gotten hate in 5, but I think she was always cool. And they brought back the legacy characters in the best way that they could, while I do have some negative thoughts about Dewey's death. I still think he was handled perfectly. And this movie gave me my favorite version of Sidney, she is the badass returning final girl done right. (Sorry 2018 laurie). And the kills and lines from Ghostface were top tier. Say what you want about the writing, but I think this movie was written pretty well.
Now, Scream 6 which is my favorite sequel. This is the movie to finally acknowledge previous events in a non vague way. It was an absolute love letter to Scream fans of all the movies. And it absolutely improved on characters like Sam, Tara and Chad. If 5 didn't do these characters justice to you, this movie absolutely will. Sam was an amazing final girl, and Chad become a fan favorite of many. Say what you want about the few plot holes and weird things that happened with injuries, but that doesn't ruin the movie. It gave us one of the best Ghostfaces ever, and I think all 3 killers were amazing. What Quinn lacked in kills, she made up for her with her acting and her dialogue with Gale. Ethan and Wayne gave us some of the most iconic sequences in the franchises. And I think these 3 killers were Mrs. Loomis but done better and correctly. I still love Mrs. Loomis, but she was mad over a son she abandoned? She's still allowed to be upset but you abandoned him. Bailey never abandoned his son, and his motive wasn't just "You killed my son so now you die!". It was more so "You killed my son in an absolute monstrous way, you are too unhinged to be kept alive." And they did justice to Kirby with her return. And this movie finally changed a lot from the formula of the other 5 (which isn't a bad formula, all of those movies are amazing to me.) But you gotta respect this movie for being different. And the Shrine was an absolute highlight. Most of the movies tend to gloss over the previous ones, but this one didn't. It followed up the events of 5 and went beyond and gave us so many references to the first 4.
All in all, these movies have their issues, yes. But we should be grateful they haven't gone downhill like other franchises like Friday the 13th, NOES and Halloween. These movies still have enjoyability and their problems are extremely small.
2023.06.03 05:37 KeepYourSilenceUp (Very slightly) fixing Across the Spider-Verse by expanding on Spot and Gwen
Across the Spider-Verse is basically a masterpiece and I'm sure it will be even more so when combined with part 2, but I have two concerns with the movie-- one of which they might be planning on addressing anyways so I'll start with that one.
submitted by KeepYourSilenceUp to fixingmovies [link] [comments]
- It seems weird to me that Spot is (it seems) capable of destroying worlds, while also the reason that Canon events can't be interrupted is because it risks destroying worlds. I anticipate that a clear connection might be drawn between these things in the next movie, (maybe Spot transcends time in a way that means he is always the one destroying the worlds that become too unstable) but I think this movie would have been more cohesive these two threats were more obviously related. Without a connection it just seems kind of redundant. I also think that Miles' place as an anomaly and threat to the Spider-verse would be more dramatic if his nemesis was literally the one causing all of the destruction that 2099 is trying to prevent.
- Now the big one. The idea of Canon events is very cool but when 2099 is explaining this lore, the focus seems to be on each Spider-person's inciting incident. Peter has Uncle Ben, Gwen has Peter, etc. My problem is that Miles' equivalent is obviously his Uncle Aaron...so when 2099 insists that his dad has to die, there isn't much narrative foundation to get the audience on board with the idea that this event is an inevitable part of this story. I get that in some of the comics Peter's SECOND big death is Captain Stacy, and we get a clear nod to this with Andrew Garfield's appearance...but as a non-comic-reader myself this was hard to grasp because Amazing Spider-Man 2 is the ONLY mainstream Spider-Man story that I'm aware of where this second big death takes place. None of the focus characters in Spider-Verse have had a second death as far as I can recall, nor did Toby or Tom (I know that Tom canonically did lose his uncle ben but the death of aunt may in NWH seems like it was supposed to be his stand-in for Ben since she delivered the "with great power" line). 2099 can tell us that Jefferson's death is a canon moment but it doesn't hit very hard because I haven't seen this second death established as a necessary part of Spider-man's story. My fix is simple: have Gwen lose her dad in the intro. She thought Peter was her one big tragic loss but then it turns out another was waiting for her. If her dad died in the intro after her fight with vulture, she could carry all the same reluctance over revealing her identity to him, and the same desire not to go home, but we the audience would have an established context for the idea that Spider-Man is destined to lose more than one person. Then when Miles sees how every Spider-Man loses someone his first response could be "I lost my Uncle Aaron" and Gwen could be the one to piece together for him (and for the audience in that moment) that there will be more than one loss.
2023.06.03 05:36 Mobile-Parfait-1756 Just got diagnosed with UC
I just got diagnosed with UC about 5 months ago. Lost 25 pounds since the beginning of the year. I now weigh 114lbs. It’s quite upsetting. I am also a Muay Thai fighter and I’m wondering if I can still continue competing….?
I haven’t been able to train consistently ever since I’ve gotten diagnosed and I’ve been competing for 4 years now. Life just suddenly threw the biggest curve ball at me and I’m at a total loss.
I’m not sure how to adjust to this new lifestyle. All the flare ups are tough. I feel weak and I cannot sleep at night. My conditioning has gone down significantly and I’ve lost so much strength. Is there any chance of me competing in the future again? Or is it too hopeful? I took a body shot during a a light drill and that REALLY took me out. It nearly felt like my first liver shot I’ve received.
Any advice?
submitted by Mobile-Parfait-1756 to UlcerativeColitis [link] [comments]
I haven’t been able to train consistently ever since I’ve gotten diagnosed and I’ve been competing for 4 years now. Life just suddenly threw the biggest curve ball at me and I’m at a total loss.
I’m not sure how to adjust to this new lifestyle. All the flare ups are tough. I feel weak and I cannot sleep at night. My conditioning has gone down significantly and I’ve lost so much strength. Is there any chance of me competing in the future again? Or is it too hopeful? I took a body shot during a a light drill and that REALLY took me out. It nearly felt like my first liver shot I’ve received.
Any advice?
2023.06.03 05:36 These-Tooth-335 I need help! advice please
hello! thank you for clicking this and im so sorry about the amount of reading. i messed up bad and allegedly tried to order some what i 100% thought were semi-legal synthetic legal compounds. please help. i have redacted some stuff to retain what little privacy i may have left.
-Freight Forwarder [email protected] "Hello Taylor
We received a notification that a shipment with tracking number ############# bound for [address redacted] was intercepted by the United States Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) and labeled as illegal due to the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act. The DEA has forwarded the seized parcel to the Fines, Penalties, and Forfeitures Office (FP&F). It is important to be aware of the legal consequences of possessing, obtaining, or producing controlled substances without an exemption or license.
Based on a series of schedules, drugs are categorised and controlled to varying degrees. Most restrictions are placed on Schedule I drugs which cannot be possessed by anyone, except for research that has been licensed by the federal government. This Schedule includes drugs such as marijuana heroin, MDMA, LSD, and peyote which are deemed to have no medical use and high abuse potential. Schedule II substances have an accepted medical use and are deemed to have an abuse potential less than those in Schedule I and are also subjected to tight controls. Included in Schedule II are; cocaine, opium, morphine, Demerol, and codeine.
It's important to be aware that the importation and transportation of controlled substances into and across the United States is a serious federal crime with mandatory minimum sentences. For example, a first offense of trafficking Schedule I or II controlled substances can result in a minimum sentence of 5 years in prison. It's crucial to understand the legal consequences of involvement in drug trafficking and the potential risks to your health and safety.
If a shipment of controlled substances is intercepted by law enforcement, both the sender and receiver may be required to pay a fine of $500 each, totalling $1000. Failure to pay the fine could result in a full investigation and prosecution under the law. It's important to be aware of the legal consequences of involvement in the illegal drug trade and to avoid any actions that could put you at risk.
Kindly reply to this email requesting payment options. You are advised to expedite actions to the above-mentioned Instructions so the package can be cleared and all charges are dropped. This is according to government policies. If you have any questions or need assistance with your case (######), kindly reply to this email for immediate assistance from our support team."
-I reply "Who do i need to contact? Or do i just wait for a letter in the mail? Thank you :)" i want to be civil and get this over with
-FF "Hey there,
You and your sender are to pay your fine immediately. We accept payment via Crypto due to the nature of the shipment.
Kindly request for official wallet address."
-BRIGHT RED FLAGS -I reply "yeah, im gonna pay the fine but im gonna pay it to a government website or by a check to a government building. im not gonna send a third party untraceable bitcoin. I know how to read and I know my rights."
-FF "Dear Esteemed Customer
Your package was seized on transit. Concrete evidence shows that you are the recipient of this package. The next thing according to US DEA procedure is to carry out your arrest and persecution as your action are illegal. However due to the nature of this case, you have the option of paying a fine to clear this issue. Ignoring the fine would mean that your case will have to be reported for arrest. You are expected to pay this fine immediately, else the case will be reported officially.
Bitcoin address: bc1qtjdhpwhuvtx0awvsn0dkentw6gysetpwwlkph
Best Regards"
-so obviously im not gonna do that. its a scam right? what do i do ? i assume the person i tried to buy from is scamming me and so i should just block them both and get over the loss of money and move on with my life?
-my planned but unsent response to FF
"Hello, yes I'm aware of that, may i see an email or letter from ups, fedex, usps, whichever shipping company had it in their possession. I have stated it already I will not be paying bitcoing to a third party company that I have never heard of. you're original email states that the DEA intercepted it. this thread is even called "package seized by the DEA" but now you are claiming you still have it. attempting to recieve payment for concealing a crime is known as compounding a crime. unfortunately i will not be able to make a payment to any buisness or entity not connected to the UNITED STATES government or an official mail carrier. To my knowledge the package contained 1p-lsd, along with 4-aco-DMT two unscheduled and not illegal to purchase chemical."
-they later unprompted sent "We are yet to receive your payment!"
-im a 19 year old with chronic anxiety and depression, i was hoping this would help me be able to work through the abuse my step father put me through when i was a child. i hate meeting people in person. i feel so horrible about this, my chest is pounding and hurts from the sheer anxiety. ahhhh.
submitted by These-Tooth-335 to Psychonaut [link] [comments]
-Freight Forwarder [email protected] "Hello Taylor
We received a notification that a shipment with tracking number ############# bound for [address redacted] was intercepted by the United States Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) and labeled as illegal due to the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act. The DEA has forwarded the seized parcel to the Fines, Penalties, and Forfeitures Office (FP&F). It is important to be aware of the legal consequences of possessing, obtaining, or producing controlled substances without an exemption or license.
Based on a series of schedules, drugs are categorised and controlled to varying degrees. Most restrictions are placed on Schedule I drugs which cannot be possessed by anyone, except for research that has been licensed by the federal government. This Schedule includes drugs such as marijuana heroin, MDMA, LSD, and peyote which are deemed to have no medical use and high abuse potential. Schedule II substances have an accepted medical use and are deemed to have an abuse potential less than those in Schedule I and are also subjected to tight controls. Included in Schedule II are; cocaine, opium, morphine, Demerol, and codeine.
It's important to be aware that the importation and transportation of controlled substances into and across the United States is a serious federal crime with mandatory minimum sentences. For example, a first offense of trafficking Schedule I or II controlled substances can result in a minimum sentence of 5 years in prison. It's crucial to understand the legal consequences of involvement in drug trafficking and the potential risks to your health and safety.
If a shipment of controlled substances is intercepted by law enforcement, both the sender and receiver may be required to pay a fine of $500 each, totalling $1000. Failure to pay the fine could result in a full investigation and prosecution under the law. It's important to be aware of the legal consequences of involvement in the illegal drug trade and to avoid any actions that could put you at risk.
Kindly reply to this email requesting payment options. You are advised to expedite actions to the above-mentioned Instructions so the package can be cleared and all charges are dropped. This is according to government policies. If you have any questions or need assistance with your case (######), kindly reply to this email for immediate assistance from our support team."
-I reply "Who do i need to contact? Or do i just wait for a letter in the mail? Thank you :)" i want to be civil and get this over with
-FF "Hey there,
You and your sender are to pay your fine immediately. We accept payment via Crypto due to the nature of the shipment.
Kindly request for official wallet address."
-BRIGHT RED FLAGS -I reply "yeah, im gonna pay the fine but im gonna pay it to a government website or by a check to a government building. im not gonna send a third party untraceable bitcoin. I know how to read and I know my rights."
-FF "Dear Esteemed Customer
Your package was seized on transit. Concrete evidence shows that you are the recipient of this package. The next thing according to US DEA procedure is to carry out your arrest and persecution as your action are illegal. However due to the nature of this case, you have the option of paying a fine to clear this issue. Ignoring the fine would mean that your case will have to be reported for arrest. You are expected to pay this fine immediately, else the case will be reported officially.
Bitcoin address: bc1qtjdhpwhuvtx0awvsn0dkentw6gysetpwwlkph
Best Regards"
-so obviously im not gonna do that. its a scam right? what do i do ? i assume the person i tried to buy from is scamming me and so i should just block them both and get over the loss of money and move on with my life?
-my planned but unsent response to FF
"Hello, yes I'm aware of that, may i see an email or letter from ups, fedex, usps, whichever shipping company had it in their possession. I have stated it already I will not be paying bitcoing to a third party company that I have never heard of. you're original email states that the DEA intercepted it. this thread is even called "package seized by the DEA" but now you are claiming you still have it. attempting to recieve payment for concealing a crime is known as compounding a crime. unfortunately i will not be able to make a payment to any buisness or entity not connected to the UNITED STATES government or an official mail carrier. To my knowledge the package contained 1p-lsd, along with 4-aco-DMT two unscheduled and not illegal to purchase chemical."
-they later unprompted sent "We are yet to receive your payment!"
-im a 19 year old with chronic anxiety and depression, i was hoping this would help me be able to work through the abuse my step father put me through when i was a child. i hate meeting people in person. i feel so horrible about this, my chest is pounding and hurts from the sheer anxiety. ahhhh.
2023.06.03 05:32 KomradeSims Update Notes: June 1, 2023
Welcome to June, and also the latest Project: Gorgon update! This update contains a new much-requested skill, Angling, as well as new UI features, quests, balancing, and a ton of bug fixes.
Bugs!
Update: the following are known bugs in this update -- no need to report them. If you see OTHER bugs, please report them!
There are now 3 camera types to choose from, located in Settings > Controls:
So we've expanded Fishing with a new sub-skill: Angling. All you need is a fishing pole, some bait, and a body of water with catchable fish. (Also Fishing 15. And hands!) In order to get started, talk to Roshun the Traitor in Serbule.
The precise mechanics of Angling aren't spelled out in the game at the moment. Since this game focuses on exploration, we expect players to be able to figure out how Angling works. Please let us know what parts of the system were hard to figure out, and we'll work to make those bits more obvious.
Warden:
We've revised the formulae used for damage reflection, which resulted in nerfs to Privacy Field. On the other hand, multiple bug fixes actually increase the Warden's power significantly in other ways.
submitted by KomradeSims to projectgorgon [link] [comments]
Bugs!
Update: the following are known bugs in this update -- no need to report them. If you see OTHER bugs, please report them!
- Animal forms are able to angle - kind of - and that is unintentional. Angling is intended to require hands.
- The Angling ability 'Catch and Release' gives 25% XP, not 25% bonus XP.
- You can target certain angling fish before they exist. You shouldn't be able to target them at all.
- Some of the angling abilities have old test descriptions.
- The new AoE indicator doesn't display in some outdoor areas.
Main Story
We've expanded the main story quest-line by a few steps. If you've already reached the point in the storyline where you were asked to have dinner with Jessina (via a hang out), the hang out is now available, and you should log in to see that your character has a "reminder quest" to hang out with Jessina.New Camera Types
Players come to us from different games with different control schemes and camera views, and they often ask us if we can imitate the camera styles they're used to. So we gave it a try! We know that getting movement behavior just right can be tricky, so please give us feedback on how these work for you.There are now 3 camera types to choose from, located in Settings > Controls:
- Traditional Camera: How the camera has always worked. Right-click rotates your character, left-click rotates only the camera. Mouse is always available.
- Free Camera: Camera control is completely separate from character control. Mouse is always available.
- Action Camera: Mouse movement always controls character. Mouse cursor is only available when a UI window is open, or when the Toggle Cursor key is pressed (configurable). NOTE: only available in the new selection system!
AoE Visibility
Area-of-Effect abilities that are centered on the caster now have a visualization for their range.- When an ability is used, the AOE range briefly displays on the ground as a circle.
- When an AOE ability icon is hovered over, its AOE range displays on the ground for as long as it's hovered over.
- Visibility is configurable via Settings > GUI > Windows & HUD > Abilities & Items > "Show Beneficial AOE Areas" & "Show Detrimental AOE Areas". By default they are "Party Members Only" & "Self Only" respectively. Detrimental enemy AOEs will always display.
- Many "aura"-type pets display their aura ranges in a similar fashion, such as a druid's Healing Sanctuary or a fairy's Fae Conduit. These should also follow the visibility settings described above.
- Note: as of this update, all AoE abilities are centered on the caster, except for two Weather Witching abilities that are explicitly centered on the target. Previously, all AoEs were centered on the target, but the game didn't say that anywhere, and most players assumed it was centered on the caster! So this seems much more intuitive. But if there are specific AoE abilities that you feel should be centered on the target instead of the caster, please let us know and we'll consider it.
Angling
Traditionally, fishing in Project: Gorgon has involved scooping fish up out of the water with your bare hands -- what we might call 'tickling' the fish. And that's fine, as far as it goes. It takes real skill! But not all fish can be caught this way. (And more importantly, players have told us that an MMO "needs" to have traditional fishing in order to feel like a complete MMO.)So we've expanded Fishing with a new sub-skill: Angling. All you need is a fishing pole, some bait, and a body of water with catchable fish. (Also Fishing 15. And hands!) In order to get started, talk to Roshun the Traitor in Serbule.
The precise mechanics of Angling aren't spelled out in the game at the moment. Since this game focuses on exploration, we expect players to be able to figure out how Angling works. Please let us know what parts of the system were hard to figure out, and we'll work to make those bits more obvious.
Skills & Abilities
From here out (and probably through the rest of beta), we'll be making small balance changes. We don't want to overnerf/overbuff things, so most changes will be relatively modest, and then we'll re-evaluate and adjust further after more observation.Warden:
We've revised the formulae used for damage reflection, which resulted in nerfs to Privacy Field. On the other hand, multiple bug fixes actually increase the Warden's power significantly in other ways.
- Privacy Field abilities: reduced base ability damage (Privacy Field 5 changed from 196 -> 138)
- Treasure: "Privacy Field deals +60 damage to all melee attackers, and the first melee attacker is knocked away": 60 => 42
- Treasure: "Privacy Field also deals its damage when you are hit by burst attacks, and damage is +86": 86 => 47
- Treasure: "Privacy Field also deals its damage when you are hit by ranged attacks, and damage is +57": 57 => 48
- Treasure: "When Privacy Field deals damage, it also ignites the suspect, dealing 156 damage over 12 seconds": => 156 => 80. Note: previously this effect did not work at all, so this is technically a huge buff, not a nerf!
- Treasure: "While Privacy Field is active, melee attacks that hit you have a 100% chance to restore 20 Power to you" : 100% chance => 75% chance. Note: previously this effect did not work at all, so this is technically a huge buff, not a nerf!
- Treasure: "Apprehend deals +48 damage and hastens the current reuse timer of Controlled Burn by 2 seconds (so it can be used again more quickly)" : 2 seconds -> 1.5 seconds. Note: previously this effect did hasten Control Burn at at all, so this is technically a huge buff, not a nerf!
- Controlled Burn: area-of-effect reduced from 15 meters to 10 meters.
- Aggression Deterrent: area-of-effect reduced from 10 meters to 6 meters.
- New ability Summon Sandstorm: This is a variant of Summon Tornado intended to be more convenient in groups. It does not knock back foes, instead dealing bonus Armor damage. All tiers of this ability can be learned from the Sand Seer in Ilmari.
- New rare ability Summon Doomstorm: This is a variant of Summon Tornado. It does not knock back foes. Instead it deals Darkness damage. Damage is improved over base version. This pet is marked as undead for purposes of ability targeting. In other words, heals that don't work on undead don't work on this pet either. Buffs that work on undead DO work on this pet. For now, all tiers of this ability can be found as loot scrolls.
- Fixed bug that caused high-level summoned tornados to move incredibly fast. Normalized tornado speeds.
- Summoned tornadoes accidentally had vulnerability stats for Cold Spheres. They now correctly have vulnerability stats for Tornadoes.
- "Your Confusing Double deals +67% damage with each attack": 67% => 45%
- "Confusing Double summons an additional figment. Each figment deals +77 damage with each attack": 77 => 50
- "Confusing Double Reuse Timer -15": -15 => -10
- "Fire Breath hits all targets within 8 meters and deals +30.5% damage, but reuse timer is +3 seconds and Power cost is +33%" => "Fire Breath hits all targets within 8 meters and deals +60 damage, but reuse timer is +3 seconds and Power cost is +40"
Settings
- The "Reset" button in Settings now resets the currently-selected tab to its default settings. The old functionality, undoing all current changes, is still doable by simply closing the window.
- Added new experimental settings for Tab Targeting. You can find them in settings under GUI > Targeting > Tab Targeting (Experimental).
- Combat Range: Control the max range of tab targeting when you are in combat.
- Combat Lock: If your current target is in combat, only other in-combat enemies will be targeted via tab, unless none are in view.
- Prioritize Unlooted Corpses: When tabbing through corpses, should all un-looted corpses be targeted before looted corpses?
- You can now tab through targets as quickly as you can press the button.
- Overwriting a keybind that's already bound now shows a confirmation prompt, including the name of the keybind being overwritten.
- Reorganized and renamed several Settings, to make them more intuitively grouped and easier to find.
UI Changes
- "Controls" settings have been organized into Camera & Character controls, with sub-menus.- Allow clicking through entities in the new UI, similar to how it works in the old UI. If you click on something that's already selected, it selects the entity behind it (if there is one).
- Reduced precision of click-selecting entities, so they can be selected without hovering directly over them.
- All stat bars (and globes) now smoothly animate when they change, instead of statically changing to the new value.
- Item stack size font now resizes properly for vaults (including saddlebag).
- Fixed nameplate placement for mounted humanoids.
- Fixed bug causing mouse cursor to disappear completely if mouse-dragging while zoning.
- Fixed bug that caused very large tooltips not to display sometimes.
- Removed hover-text about avatar portraits coming soon -- because they're here now! We live in the future!
- Ability tooltips now display Special Values before Special Info, as those make more sense grouped together with the other numerical data.
- Polished the lootable-corpse particles a bit.
- Nameplates now fully fade out with distance instead of just the names.
- Better handling of left-clicking nothing to deselect your current target.
- Improved display of Crafting button when no hotkey is assigned.
- Fixed quest window display bug when objective count number was very large.
- Removed the "1" from the item slot in the bug report window.
- Fixed bug causing stack sizes of items in the sidebar to get out of sync.
Graphics & Animation
- Wolves & cows now animate at proper speed when going up and down hills.
- Replaced wolf's Hunting Speed animation with a howl animation.
- Polished bard animations, so they flow together better now. The play-lute animation now always plays when you are playing a bard song, even if you use other abilities while playing the song.
- Improved instrument-playing animations.
- New VFX (animations, particles, & shader effects) for all Battle Chemistry abilities.
- You can no longer auto-move while jumping. Doing so previously resulted in some very strange-looking animations.
- Fixed weird animation bug when trying to do certain things while sitting or kneeling.
- Failure to interact with something now returns the player to idle stance.
- Fixed bug with Thentree armor causing weird shadows on male characters.
- Mage Armor is now more polished, a bit darker, and has glowier gems
- Fixed bug that would cause a dancing pig's mud to stick around forever.
- Fixed bug where mounting while dancing would continue some dancing effects.
- Improved texture for Spring Fairy armor.
- Fixed face cam for Pigeons.
Other Bug Fixes & Tweaks
- Some legacy equipment that should have been Mastercrafted wasn't. Those items should be fixed now.
- When you un-legacy equipment by pulling an invalid power off of it at the transmutation table, the legacy and broken state of that equipment is now properly updated.
- Fixed bug allowing recipe items to be summoned from anywhere.
- Updated Shadow Feint tooltip to display the correct AOE distance for blinking back to position.
- Phrenology-based Mentalism & Psychology bonuses to critical chance now properly affect heals.
- Improved logic related to channeling abilities; this should hopefully fix stuck-in-channel bugs.
- Modified Mutation Injection ability descriptions to make it a bit clearer how they work.
- Lycanthropy ability "Become Wolf": the skill check to disable wolf mode is no longer downleveled when your combat skills are downleveled.
- Newly learned abilities, Wild Endurance, & First Aid should now correctly auto-rerank.
- Dying by falling through the world now shows a special button in the death window, "Teleport to Last-Touched Ground", which teleports your dead body to the last ground you were standing on. While this isn't an ideal solution, it should allow you to be revived in party situations
- Fixed bug causing skeleton warrior pets to repeatedly retreat a short distance when fighting something.
- Astounding Cloth Shirt (Max-Enchanted) and Camouflaged Astounding Shirt (Max-Enchanted) recipes now require the correct ingredients.
- Pressing spacebar while in an animal-mount form will no longer play the horse neighing sound.
- Fixed typo in Evasion Boots (Enchanted) recipes.
- Changed icon color for Acid Bomb to more of an acid-y color (and match the new VFX).
- Acid Boost Potion recipe now correctly states that it lasts 30 minutes.
- Fixed typo in quest "Holistic Wellness: Yarn" (twelve -> twenty-four balls of yarn).
- The tsys mod, "Psi Health Wave grants all targets +X Mitigation vs. Electricity, Acid, and Nature attacks for 20 seconds" now displays in the effects list when it's active.
- Fixed Dwarven Fixer causing screen brightness (instead of hiding it).
- "Toxic Flesh" tooltip now takes poison damage buffs into account.
- Using Objective Orienteering on "The Borghild Lead" quest now leads to the correct area.
- Fixed typo in quest "The Borghild Lead" (south -> north).
- Harry now hints more strongly that his Minor Panacea will not cure ALL curses, just a specific one.
- The quest "Goblin Avenger: Ratkin!!!" now correct gives 10 Xedrite.
- JSON users: Note that in skills.json's level-up rewards, "Ability" can now refer to a single ability or an array of abilities.
2023.06.03 05:32 tropicanagrapefruit Missing my person, sharing a brief writing on bereavement
Hello all,
I just want to preface this by saying that if you're reading this, odds are that you are a part of this community and have lost a loved soul close to you. I am so incredibly amazed by of all of you, this is so profoundly difficult and each day you go on and continue to heal is something to pat yourself on the back for and to be immensely proud of. The stories and comments on this sub inspire me to heal, there is so much love here on this little corner of the internet and coming here and feeling the support from you all and seeing everyone interact with so much kindness is amazing.
Its been a little over half a year since I lost my ex boyfriend, life has become incredibly hard. Ive had a few major life changes recently which has shaken me up a bit, I have somewhat nosedived and have been consumed by pain, anger and grief, I have been missing him so much. Ive never posted to this sub before but check it on a regular basis to find some solace in others writings and comments. I have been trying to write more recently to untangle my messy emotions and make sense of my complex feelings I so often struggle to express out loud. I wrote this excerpt the other day and thought i should share it, but could not think of anyone IRL i felt comfortable reading this to. I thought i would share it here to air out my feelings, maybe some of you can relate to what i have felt and it can serve as a reminder that you are not alone. While i wish my writing attitude could be more optimistic, maybe if you can see yourself in this writing it can allow us to realize how strong we are for dealing with this everyday, and maybe how far we have come when be look back down the line. Anyways, here is a little something i wrote. Big hugs to you all.
Last night I forced myself to go to the freezer to get an ice cube as a last resort for comfort. Trivial, yet as you even mentioned yourself, these simple things are somehow the most effective for bringing us back sometimes. As I lay in a dark room willing myself to sleep, I found myself unable to bear the darkness I had moments before outwardly exclaimed could no longer scare me. “I’m ready, I'm free” I asserted foolishly as I turned over, hoping that by some divine miracle, you would appear within the shadows cast by my drawn curtains, coat, and chair. These days I question my lack of faith, my trust in divine timing, and my childish adherence to the belief that maybe by some outlandish possibility, there is more to this existence than this. I hope to find an ephemeral flash of you in my peripheral or to see you pass briefly through a window only to disappear in a crowded southbound train, in the woodgrain, in blurry half-open morning eyes, anything. And yet, nothing. ”Show me you're here” I choke out on tired lungs, I sit on the floor exhausted. I mouth the words through this stifling and immobilizing pain that washes over me, with no more oxygen in my lungs to produce a sound. I scream up at the sky and clench my fists with conviction, I ball up all the tormented energy within myself and throw it away hoping you will catch it, to feel how much I need you here. Nothing. Contrary to prior beliefs, I find it easier to believe that there is nothing after this existence, that death is the final transformation and liberation into a void of absolute nothingness than to believe that maybe you have been able to hear me all along, but choose not to spare me any relief. That it is not worth your time. I pray relentlessly that this is not the case, I obsess over it. I wonder if this is my karmic punishment for all my wrongdoings, a shakey “I’m sorry” repeated ad-nausem is all I'm able to get out these days. I wonder if my suffering is enough for redemption, that one day I will have paid my dues in sleepless nights and moments stretched out to infinity. I hope I will be spared after enduring the endless nights in which all I can feel is my guilt crawling into my bed next to me and searching the sheets in the darkness for my body, I lay frozen in hope it doesn't find me. Alas, I hope this is not the case. I'd rather believe that you have disintegrated into nothing more than carbon and dust and the mind and soul that once occupied your decaying body ceases to be, that just as there was nothing before birth, there is nothing after. But still, out of pure naivete, I hope you one day show up. I hope it is in a moment I least expect it, in the banalest of situations perhaps, when the wound is closed and faded only to be recognized when poked, maybe relating to that old saying I hate so much because of its inherent truth “a watched kettle never boils”. Until then, I grab an ice cube from the freezer on nights when I can’t make out the sound of my fan from the imagined sound of distant crying and sirens, when my body becomes locked into a position I can’t seem to move from no matter how uncomfortable. When I crack myself out of the casing of dissociation wiggling one limb at a time as to slowly fracture the sarcophagus of derealization that envelops me and sit up, a task that feels like constructing the very pyramids themselves. I go to the freezer and grab an ice cube to clench within my hand, the way it begins to burn serving as a reminder that I am human and I am alive, bringing me back to my body.
And yet still, I hope to see you on my way back to my room.
submitted by tropicanagrapefruit to SuicideBereavement [link] [comments]
I just want to preface this by saying that if you're reading this, odds are that you are a part of this community and have lost a loved soul close to you. I am so incredibly amazed by of all of you, this is so profoundly difficult and each day you go on and continue to heal is something to pat yourself on the back for and to be immensely proud of. The stories and comments on this sub inspire me to heal, there is so much love here on this little corner of the internet and coming here and feeling the support from you all and seeing everyone interact with so much kindness is amazing.
Its been a little over half a year since I lost my ex boyfriend, life has become incredibly hard. Ive had a few major life changes recently which has shaken me up a bit, I have somewhat nosedived and have been consumed by pain, anger and grief, I have been missing him so much. Ive never posted to this sub before but check it on a regular basis to find some solace in others writings and comments. I have been trying to write more recently to untangle my messy emotions and make sense of my complex feelings I so often struggle to express out loud. I wrote this excerpt the other day and thought i should share it, but could not think of anyone IRL i felt comfortable reading this to. I thought i would share it here to air out my feelings, maybe some of you can relate to what i have felt and it can serve as a reminder that you are not alone. While i wish my writing attitude could be more optimistic, maybe if you can see yourself in this writing it can allow us to realize how strong we are for dealing with this everyday, and maybe how far we have come when be look back down the line. Anyways, here is a little something i wrote. Big hugs to you all.
Last night I forced myself to go to the freezer to get an ice cube as a last resort for comfort. Trivial, yet as you even mentioned yourself, these simple things are somehow the most effective for bringing us back sometimes. As I lay in a dark room willing myself to sleep, I found myself unable to bear the darkness I had moments before outwardly exclaimed could no longer scare me. “I’m ready, I'm free” I asserted foolishly as I turned over, hoping that by some divine miracle, you would appear within the shadows cast by my drawn curtains, coat, and chair. These days I question my lack of faith, my trust in divine timing, and my childish adherence to the belief that maybe by some outlandish possibility, there is more to this existence than this. I hope to find an ephemeral flash of you in my peripheral or to see you pass briefly through a window only to disappear in a crowded southbound train, in the woodgrain, in blurry half-open morning eyes, anything. And yet, nothing. ”Show me you're here” I choke out on tired lungs, I sit on the floor exhausted. I mouth the words through this stifling and immobilizing pain that washes over me, with no more oxygen in my lungs to produce a sound. I scream up at the sky and clench my fists with conviction, I ball up all the tormented energy within myself and throw it away hoping you will catch it, to feel how much I need you here. Nothing. Contrary to prior beliefs, I find it easier to believe that there is nothing after this existence, that death is the final transformation and liberation into a void of absolute nothingness than to believe that maybe you have been able to hear me all along, but choose not to spare me any relief. That it is not worth your time. I pray relentlessly that this is not the case, I obsess over it. I wonder if this is my karmic punishment for all my wrongdoings, a shakey “I’m sorry” repeated ad-nausem is all I'm able to get out these days. I wonder if my suffering is enough for redemption, that one day I will have paid my dues in sleepless nights and moments stretched out to infinity. I hope I will be spared after enduring the endless nights in which all I can feel is my guilt crawling into my bed next to me and searching the sheets in the darkness for my body, I lay frozen in hope it doesn't find me. Alas, I hope this is not the case. I'd rather believe that you have disintegrated into nothing more than carbon and dust and the mind and soul that once occupied your decaying body ceases to be, that just as there was nothing before birth, there is nothing after. But still, out of pure naivete, I hope you one day show up. I hope it is in a moment I least expect it, in the banalest of situations perhaps, when the wound is closed and faded only to be recognized when poked, maybe relating to that old saying I hate so much because of its inherent truth “a watched kettle never boils”. Until then, I grab an ice cube from the freezer on nights when I can’t make out the sound of my fan from the imagined sound of distant crying and sirens, when my body becomes locked into a position I can’t seem to move from no matter how uncomfortable. When I crack myself out of the casing of dissociation wiggling one limb at a time as to slowly fracture the sarcophagus of derealization that envelops me and sit up, a task that feels like constructing the very pyramids themselves. I go to the freezer and grab an ice cube to clench within my hand, the way it begins to burn serving as a reminder that I am human and I am alive, bringing me back to my body.
And yet still, I hope to see you on my way back to my room.
2023.06.03 05:31 autobuzzfeedbot Family Guy: 20 Best Peter Griffin Quotes Ranked
- "I Don't Know What I'm Doin' Here. I Was Just Lookin' For The Can." — Season 10, Episode 5 "Back to the Pilot"
- "How Can I Be A DJ? I'm Just A Guy With A Laptop And An Inflated Self-Image." Season 15, Episode 12 "Peter's Def Jam"
- "I Swear To God I Thought Dogs Could Breathe Underwater." — Season 13, Episode 5 "Turkey Guys"
- "Um... If By 'Read' You Mean 'Imagined A Naked Lady,' Then Yes." — Season 3, Episode 10 "A Fish Out of Water"
- "Someone Who Cares Enough About Physical Comedy To Put His Entire Family Into Serious Danger, That's Who." — Season 3, Episode 16 "A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas"
- "I'm The Most Non-Competitive. So I Win." — Season 2, Episode 10 "Running Mates"
- "Lois Might Be Worth A Million Dollars To You, But To Me She's Worthless." — Season 3, Episode 6 "Death Lives"
- "I Always Thought Dogs Laid Eggs. And I Learned Something Today." — Season 3, Episode 13 "Screwed the Pooch"
- "This Is The Story Of Star Wars. Let's Begin With Part Four." — Season 6, Episode 1 "Blue Harvest"
- "Whoa, Whoa... Lois, This Is Not My Batman Glass." Season 4, Episode 2, "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr High"
- "I May Be An Idiot, But There's One Thing I'm Not Sir, And That Is An Idiot." — Season 5, Episode 3 "Hell Comes to Quahog"
- "We Took A Lot From The Simpsons." — Season 14, Episode 3 "Guy Robot"
- "I'll Be Damned If I'm Gonna Be Lectured By A Pervert." — Season 3, Episode 22 "When You Wish Upon A Weinstein"
- "Let's Go Drink Until We Can't Feel Feelings Anymore." — Season 3, Episode 19 "Stuck Together, Torn Apart"
- "There's A Message In My Alpha-Bits. It Says 'Oooooo.'" — Season 1, Episode 6 "The Son Also Draws"
- "Shut Up, Meg." — Season 10, Episode 2 "Seahorse Seashell Party"
- "Bird Is The Word." — Season 7, Episode 2 "I Dream of Jesus"
- "I'm Not Going To Tell You Where But I Will Give You A Hint: It Wasn't On My Nose Or My Ear And It Was One Of My B***s." — Season 4, Episode 25 "You May Now Kiss The...Uh...Guy Who Receives"
- "Gosh, It's Not Like The Internet To Go Crazy About Something Small And Stupid." — Season 13, Episode 1 "The Simpsons Guy"
- "I Have An Idea So Smart That My Head Would Explode If I Even Began To Know What I Was Talking About." — Season 2, Episode 5 "Love Thy Trophy"
2023.06.03 05:30 beccaaasueee Whoops — someone didn’t spell check 😂
 | submitted by beccaaasueee to Degrassi [link] [comments] |