Welcome to the fifth annual all time English Football League table post! Covering all four main divisions, over every single league season from the very first in 1888/89 right up until the present day, this is something I started work on to kill some free time and have kept running each year since. If you want to have a look at the previous four posts on this project you can find them here: 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022
Part One - Points Table
In order to make this work as straightforwardly as possible, I devised a scaling system whereby all points won in League 2 (or old Division Four) remain as they are, any points won in League 1 (old Division Three) are multiplied by 1.3, any points won in the Championship (old Division Two) are multiplied by 1.7, and any points won in the Premier League (old Division One) are multiplied by 2. Any points won in the National League or lower have been ignored. As always the Points Per Season also makes a return, hich I've used to indicate how efficient teams have been at earning their points over their respective histories. The original 2019 post goes into a bit more detail about why I picked this rather imperfect methodology, but I'm satisfied that it does the job.
All league status is correct as to the end of the 2022-23 season (ie, Leeds, Leicester, and Southampton are listed as Championship, Burnley, Sheffield United, and Luton are Premier League etc). Also, wins from seasons in which a win was worth two points have all been given an extra point in order to bring them in line with three points for a win seasons.

	Club	Current Status	Total Seasons	PPS	Points
1	Liverpool	Premier League	119	131.9	15695
2	Manchester United	Premier League	120	130.2	15618
3	Arsenal	Premier League	119	124.6	14823
4	Manchester City	Premier League	120	117.7	14127
5	Everton	Premier League	124	113.9	14127
6	Aston Villa	Premier League	124	112.0	13888
7	Sunderland	Championship	122	108.5	13233
8	Newcastle United	Premier League	119	110.2	13113
9	West Bromwich Albion	Championship	124	105.0	13017
10	Nottingham Forest	Premier League	120	107.7	12924
11	Blackburn Rovers	Championship	124	104.0	12902
12	Chelsea	Premier League	107	120.2	12866
13	Sheffield United	Premier League	120	107.0	12844
14	Derby County	League One	124	103.3	12807
15	Sheffield Wednesday	League One (Play Offs)	120	104.4	12522
16	Tottenham Hotspur	Premier League	112	111.4	12482
17	Bolton Wanderers	League One	124	100.0	12403
18	Burnley	Premier League	124	99.9	12388
19	Preston North End	Championship	124	99.6	12353
20	Birmingham City	Championship	120	100.9	12111
21	Wolverhampton Wanderers	Premier League	124	97.7	12111
22	Leicester City	Premier League	118	102.5	12096
23	Middlesbrough	Championship	113	104.8	11845
24	Stoke City	Championship	114	99.9	11392
25	Leeds United	Championship	96	114.7	11013
26	Blackpool	League One	115	91.5	10523
27	West Ham United	Premier League	97	106.3	10307
28	Bristol City	Championship	101	101.9	10293
29	Huddersfield Town	Championship	102	100.1	10215
30	Notts County	League Two	120	83.6	10027
31	Barnsley	League One (Play Offs)	114	87.5	9973
32	Fulham	Premier League	105	95.0	9970
33	Southampton	Championship	96	100.6	9656
34	Bury	Defunct	116	82.7	9597
35	Grimsby Town	League Two	112	83.8	9388
36	Portsmouth	League One	96	96.8	9291
37	Norwich City	Championship	97	94.9	9206
38	Queens Park Rangers	Championship	96	95.5	9165
39	Charlton Athletic	League One	95	95.7	9095
40	Cardiff City	Championship	96	93.8	9007
41	Millwall	Championship	96	93.5	8974
42	Oldham Athletic	National League	104	86.0	8946
43	Hull City	Championship	107	83.5	8934
44	Coventry City	Championship	97	91.9	8913
45	Bradford City	League Two	109	81.0	8830
46	Crystal Palace	Premier League	107	80.7	8639
47	Watford	Championship	96	89.7	8609
48	Luton Town	Premier League	94	91.1	8559
49	Ipswich Town	Championship	78	108.4	8459
50	Reading	League One	96	87.9	8439
51	Brighton and Hove Albion	Premier League	96	87.8	8431
52	Port Vale	League One	107	78.1	8362
53	Plymouth Argyle	Championship	96	86.9	8344
54	Brentford	Premier League	96	86.8	8334
55	Lincoln City	League One	110	73.4	8072
56	Leyton Orient	League One	105	76.2	8006
57	Swindon Town	League Two	96	81.6	7835
58	Chesterfield	National League	100	77.4	7739
59	Bristol Rovers	League One	95	80.0	7604
60	Walsall	League Two	95	79.6	7558
61	Stockport County	League Two	100	74.6	7457
62	Rotherham United	Championship	91	81.6	7428
63	Swansea City	Championship	96	77.3	7424
64	Northampton Town	League One	96	74.9	7194
65	AFC Bournemouth	Premier League	92	77.1	7094
66	Southend United	National League	94	75.1	7062
67	Gillingham	League Two	89	75.5	6723
68	Doncaster Rovers	League Two	91	72.7	6612
69	Crewe Alexandra	League Two	99	66.5	6583
70	Carlisle United	League One	87	73.9	6427
71	Rochdale	National League	95	64.4	6117
72	Tranmere Rovers	League Two	92	66.1	6081
73	Exeter City	League One	91	66.0	6009
74	Wrexham	League Two	80	74.5	5956
75	Hartlepool United	National League	91	63.0	5735
76	Mansfield Town	League Two	80	70.6	5647
77	Shrewsbury Town	League One	72	74.9	5391
78	Scunthorpe United	National League North	72	71.9	5178
79	Darlington	National League North	81	63.8	5166
80	Colchester United	League Two	71	71.5	5075
81	Torquay United	National League South	78	65.1	5074
82	York City	National League	72	67.8	4883
83	Peterborough United	League One	63	77.3	4870
84	Oxford United	League One	57	80.8	4604
85	Halifax Town	Defunct	69	63.5	4383
86	Bradford Park Avenue	Northern Premier League	51	85.2	4345
87	Newport County	League Two	71	54.9	3896
88	Wigan Athletic	League One	45	85.6	3853
89	Chester City	Defunct	66	54.2	3578
90	Accrington Stanley	League Two	50	68.2	3410
91	Aldershot	Defunct	52	64.5	3356
92	Southport	National League North	50	65.7	3285
93	Cambridge United	League One	44	70.8	3114
94	Barrow	League Two	45	64.5	2903
95	Wimbledon	Defunct	27	97.6	2635
96	Wycombe Wanderers	League One	30	73.1	2192
97	Hereford United	Defunct	31	59.6	1847
98	Workington	Northern Premier League	26	60.7	1577
99	Milton Keynes Dons	League Two	19	82.6	1569
100	Cheltenham Town	League One	23	62.9	1447
101	New Brighton	Defunct	22	61.9	1362
102	Gateshead	Defunct	24	56.1	1347
103	Glossop North End	North West Counties League Premier Division	17	72.9	1240
104	Barnet	National League	21	56.8	1192
105	Yeovil Town	National League South	16	67.6	1082
106	Gainsborough Trinity	Northern Premier League	16	67.3	1076
107	Burton Albion	League One	14	73.9	1034
108	Macclesfield Town	Defunct	18	51.2	922
109	Morecambe	League Two	16	56.1	897
110	Leeds City	Defunct	10	84.4	844
111	Fleetwood Town	League One	11	75.1	826
112	Stevenage	League One	13	62.6	814
113	Crawley Town	League Two	12	62.3	747
114	AFC Wimbledon	League Two	12	59.0	708
115	Wigan Borough	Defunct	10	68.7	687
116	Scarborough	Defunct	12	57.3	687
117	Nelson	North West Counties League Division One North	10	68.2	682
118	Merthyr Town	Southern League Premier Division South	10	58.6	586
119	Burton Swifts	Defunct	9	57.6	518
120	Ashington	Northern Premier League	8	64.6	517
121	Dagenham & Redbridge	National League	9	56.0	504
122	Rotherham County	Defunct	6	77.7	466
123	Durham City	Wearside Football League Division Two	7	63.1	442
124	Darwen	Defunct	8	51.6	413
125	Burton United	Defunct	6	61.2	367
126	Forest Green Rovers	League Two	6	60.3	362
127	Rushden & Diamonds	Defunct	5	62.2	311
128	Aldershot Town	National League	5	60.2	301
129	New Brighton Tower	Defunct	3	95.0	285
130	Aberdare Athletic	Defunct	6	46.5	279
131	Accrington	Defunct	5	55.2	276
132	Kidderminster Harriers	National League	5	55.0	275
133	Boston United	National League North	5	53.6	268
134	Salford City	League Two	4	66.5	266
135	Burton Wanderers	Defunct	3	78.7	236
136	Loughborough	Defunct	5	41.4	207
137	Maidstone United	Defunct	3	55.3	166
138	Harrogate Town	League Two	3	54.0	162
139	Stalybridge Celtic	Northern Premier League Division One West	2	71.5	143
140	Rotherham Town	Defunct	3	45.3	136
141	Sutton United	League Two	2	67.0	134
142	Thames	Defunct	2	50.0	100
143	Northwich Victoria	North West Counties League Premier Division	2	34.5	69
144	Middlesbrough Ironopolis	Defunct	1	47.0	47
145	Bootle	Defunct	1	45.0	45​

2023 Observations

• Despite now both having the exact same points, Manchester City overtake Everton to become the 4th most successful Football League club of all time due to City reaching the total in four fewer seasons.
• Birmingham City and Wolverhampton Wanderers are also on the exact same points after 120 shared seasons in the Football League. Wolves stay behind sue to their 4 extra seasons.
• Even with Luton's rapid climb up from non-league football they are still not the lowest placed Premier League team. They still sit above Brighton, Brentford, and Bournemouth.
• Following Notts County's reentry into the Football League, Olham Athletic are now the most successful former Football League club
• AFC Wimbledon are this years highest climbers after leapfrogging two defunct clubs and Nelson FC, currently languishing in the North West Counties League Division One North
• 2023 is the second year in a row to feature no new club promoted to the Football League, with the most recent one being Sutton United in 2021

Part Two - Average Finishing Position of the Current 92
Last year I introduced a secondary ranking method, based on finishing positions rather than points won. Each club is assigned a number from 1 to 92 based on where they finish at the end of the season (1 to 20 for Premier League, 21 to 44 for Championship, etc). This is then done for every season of league football for each club and divided by the number of seasons they've spent in the Football League to give their average finishing position in the pyramid.
Unlike part 1 however, I've only included the current 92 Football League clubs. This is due to clubs such as the original Accrington only playing 5 Football League seasons in the late 1800s when there was only 1 division - meaning their average finishing position was higher than a lot of top tier mainstays.
So, here is the historical average finishing position of the 92 Football League clubs that will partake in the 2023/24 season:

	Club	Current Status	Total Seasons	Total Pos	Average
1	Liverpool	Premier League	119	943	7.9
2	Arsenal	Premier League	119	1010	8.5
3	Everton	Premier League	124	1218	9.8
4	Manchester United	Premier League	120	1195	10.0
5	Tottenham Hotspur	Premier League	112	1197	10.7
6	Aston Villa	Premier League	124	1464	11.8
7	Chelsea	Premier League	107	1381	12.9
8	Manchester City	Premier League	120	1595	13.3
9	Newcastle United	Premier League	119	1676	14.1
10	Sunderland	Championship	122	2064	16.9
11	West Bromwich Albion	Championship	124	2239	18.1
12	West Ham United	Premier League	97	1790	18.5
13	Leeds United	Championship	96	1869	19.5
14	Blackburn Rovers	Championship	124	2487	20.1
15	Wolverhampton Wanderers	Premier League	124	2543	20.5
16	Derby County	League One	124	2618	21.1
17	Leicester City	Premier League	118	2607	22.1
18	Middlesbrough	Championship	113	2393	21.2
19	Sheffield Wednesday	League One (Play Offs)	120	2662	22.2
20	Sheffield United	Premier League	120	2677	22.3
21	Bolton Wanderers	League One	124	2840	22.9
22	Nottingham Forest	Premier League	120	2760	23.0
23	Birmingham City	Championship	120	2808	23.4
24	Stoke City	Championship	114	2686	23.6
25	Southampton	Championship	96	2411	25.1
26	Burnley	Premier League	124	3257	26.3
27	Ipswich Town	Championship	78	2177	27.9
28	Preston North End	Championship	124	3733	30.1
31	Fulham	Premier League	105	3455	32.9
29	Portsmouth	League One	96	3171	33.0
30	Charlton Athletic	League One	95	3144	33.1
32	Crystal Palace	Premier League	107	3552	33.2
33	Huddersfield Town	Championship	102	3400	33.3
34	Norwich City	Championship	97	3242	33.4
35	Coventry City	Championship	97	3344	34.5
36	Blackpool	League One	115	4193	36.5
37	Queens Park Rangers	Championship	97	3547	36.6
38	Cardiff City	Championship	96	3758	39.1
39	Luton Town	Premier League	94	3819	40.6
40	Hull City	Championship	107	4549	42.5
41	Barnsley	League One (Play Offs)	114	4861	42.6
42	Watford	Championship	96	4118	42.9
43	Millwall	Championship	96	4222	44.0
44	Bristol City	Championship	101	4496	44.5
45	Grimsby Town	League Two	112	5065	45.2
46	Brighton and Hove Albion	Premier League	96	4465	46.5
47	Swansea City	Championship	96	4500	46.9
48	Lincoln City	League One	110	5213	47.4
49	Wigan Athletic	League One	45	2156	47.9
50	Reading	League One	96	4609	48.0
51	Plymouth Argyle	Championship	96	4736	49.3
52	Brentford	Premier League	96	4872	50.8
53	Bradford City	League Two	109	5589	51.3
54	Leyton Orient	League One	105	5631	53.6
55	Oxford United	League One	57	3053	53.6
56	Swindon Town	League Two	96	5194	54.1
57	Port Vale	League One	107	5795	54.2
58	Rotherham United	Championship	91	4941	54.3
59	AFC Bournemouth	Premier League	92	5016	54.5
60	Bristol Rovers	League One	95	5287	55.7
61	Milton Keynes Dons	League Two	19	1093	57.5
62	Tranmere Rovers	League Two	92	5432	59.0
63	Stockport County	League Two	100	5964	59.6
64	Fleetwood Town	League One	11	661	60.1
65	Walsall	League Two	95	5773	60.8
66	Doncaster Rovers	League Two	91	5541	60.9
67	Shrewsbury Town	League One	72	4382	60.9
68	Carlisle United	League One	87	5346	61.4
69	Peterborough United	League One	63	3939	62.5
70	Forest Green Rovers	League Two	6	377	62.8
71	Gillingham	League Two	89	5614	63.1
72	Burton Albion	League One	14	885	63.2
73	Accrington Stanley	League Two	50	3227	64.5
74	Crewe Alexandra	League Two	99	6416	64.8
75	Northampton Town	League One	96	6296	65.6
76	Wycombe Wanderers	League One	30	1970	65.7
77	Colchester United	League Two	71	4713	66.4
78	Cambridge United	League One	44	2945	66.9
79	Newport County	League Two	71	4803	67.6
80	Mansfield Town	League Two	80	5431	67.9
81	Exeter City	League One	91	6347	69.7
82	Barrow	League Two	45	3160	70.2
83	AFC Wimbledon	League Two	12	886	73.8
84	Wrexham	League Two	80	5956	74.5
85	Cheltenham Town	League One	23	1734	75.4
86	Stevenage	League One	13	987	75.9
87	Crawley Town	League Two	12	924	77.0
88	Salford City	League Two	4	308	77.0
89	Sutton United	League Two	2	158	79.0
90	Morecambe	League Two	16	1292	80.8
91	Notts County	League Two	120	10027	83.6
92	Harrogate Town	League Two	3	259	86.3​

Given the length of this post I may start have to start seperating these two parts into two posts going forwards - please let me know if you think this might make it easier to digest.
I would like to thank the Football Club History Database once again, as it is what made the original 2019 post possible. Its been extremely helpful for this project, but its also really fun to use to read about obscure defunct clubs from the 1890s.

So im scheduling testing, but im pretty sure it will come back as this so i have some questions.
Recently 2 days ago i woke up in extreme body pain. My middle finger on my dominant hand has swelled a bit and is sore to bend for no reason and it appears to be coming off the nail bed. It feels like the skin is pushin on the nail itself probably from the swelling. Im fatigued, foggy brained and find it hard to focus my eyes. Also about a 2 weeks ago started to get dry patches of scaly skin on my elbows
I feel literally every joint in my body in burning amd sore and im cracking quite a bit more than ive have just few days ago.
I would assume this would be a flare up.
What ways can i help alleviate the pain while waiting for testing?
Will the swelling in my finger ever go back down?
Im sure ill be able to find triggers for the cause that i can can learn so i can manage the flare ups?
I really dont want this to jeopardize my new job.
I have a lot of changes going on in my life with a new job always on my feet, a medication ive been off for 2 weeks because of a screw up with the doctor. On top of that, i had found out 2 months ago i had chlamidia for months untreated. I took the antibiotics at the end of april, but symptoms returned and im waiting to be retested this upcoming week.
Any other advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read as well. Be blessed and well!

Hello all,
I just had a breast reduction, not even two weeks ago, and I’m wondering when I should return to work. I am a speech therapist assistant in the schools, but a lot of the kids I work with are aggressive (kicking or hitting at times) I need to bend a lot, and I might have to lift or reach for things. Not to mention, I have to carry stuff to and from different places and navigate the busy hallways. I’m not sure what to do; school is over the second or third week of June, so I don’t know what to do…I also bled a LOT during the surgery and I still get weak/have very sore days where I have to nap often. Any advice is appreciated.

Day 2 came to a close along with the betting circuits. As by law, the betting circuits closed the moment ten tributes remained which was brought about by Carnelia’s death. Artemis and Luther revealed the betting statistics. The top three tributes from top to bottom were Mortimer, Cat, and Wolvthorne. Artemis claimed to have taken a gamble and betted on Cat. Luther stuck with his Mortimer vote, uttering his signature catchphrase, “Always vote for the best story”. Their attention was diverted to the victor’s lounge where Candace Freeman (victor of the 4th Hunger Games) drunkenly accused Gill of cheating and then devolving into a rant about how unfair it was that District 1 hadn’t done well in recent years. Bacchus Johnson (victor of the 9th Hunger Games) blamed their district mayor Baron Moriarty for his materialistic viewpoints and encouragement for overindulgence spoiling the district youth rotten. Fabeline Granger (victor of the 15th Hunger Games) chalked it up to Candace being a privileged drama queen before making a snide remark towards her husband, Capital superstar Paris Dinkley. Candace broke a bottle over her head in retaliation. Silas MacIntyre (victor of the 7th Hunger Games) wrapped Candace in a bear hug and threw her out of the room. Fabeline was taken to the infirmary, where she was treated for a gash on her head, receiving four stitches. Back in the commentator’s booth, Artemis was so far deep in the juicy drama that she missed the arena’s great reveal.
After a light breakfast, Mortimer and Cat decided they were ready to push through the brush. They were still feeling woozy from the powerful smell but felt the need to persevere. Cat took the lead and used her sword to cut through the foliage. Mortimer kept the rear and scanned the lake, searching for any approaching tributes. After about ten minutes, Cat cut through the last bush and was mystified by what lay ahead. Mortimer caught up and turned to see the arena’s hidden surprise.
It was a derelict pirate ship nestled on a mound of sand. The ship appeared abandoned and worn down, the cameras spotting holes in the hull. It was also without sails, leaving naked wooden poles. Cat wondered why this would be such a big deal, saying the place looked unsafe. Mortimer agreed and guessed it wasn’t for floating, using the holes and lack of sails as proof. Cat suggested they check it out anyway, guessing this was where the final showdown will take place. He agreed and the two made their way up.
Now that the secret location was found, the gamemakers made preparations for the finale. The alligators were called back, but not soon enough for Peggy (8), who was ripped to shreds and cannon sounding as Mortimer and Cat climbed the ship’s ladder. Head Gamemaker Grimstone’s voice rang throughout the arena. He congratulated the remaining six tributes and instructed them to make their way across the lake for the final showdown. Suddenly, large stones rose from the lake’s depths, all lining up to create a path towards the ship. For those farthest away, a large blue light emanated above the ship. All the remaining tributes rushed towards the ship as fast as they could. Jassy (12) was the first to make it across the lake despite falling off the stone path three times. Andrei (2) and Wolvthorne (7) were both minutes behind her and after grabbing their supplies proceeded onto the stone path. Wolvthorne was following behind a disoriented Andrei and took this opportunity to lodge his axe into his back, fracturing his spine. Andrei roared in pain and anger, but his cries were silenced when he was thrown into the lake. His injury prevented him from staying afloat and his cannon sounded three minutes later. Horace (10) was the last to make it across, feeling weak from the smell.
Mortimer and Cat were already on the poop deck when the announcement happened. They were elated to discover the sulphur smell to not be present anymore and tore off their masks. They hastily surveyed the deck, looking for a hiding place or any sort of useful tool. Cat realized that the entrances into the bowels of the ship were closed off, leaving them stranded out in the open on the deck. Mortimer considered their options and surrendered to their only option: making a stand. The two brandished their weapons and waited by the ladder, waiting for anyone to climb up.
Jassy noticed this and circled around to the other side and found another ladder. Wolvthorne followed suit. Jassy crept up onto the deck and spotted Mortimer and Cat staring down the ship. She notched her last arrow into her bow and aimed carefully. Her accuracy was slightly off when she released, and the arrow landed in Mortimer’s left bicep. He grunted in pain, causing him to drop his trident off the side of the ship. The surprised Cat turned to see Jassy standing there shell shocked over her failed assassination attempt. Cat chased after her around the deck, attempting to swipe at her with her sword. While the two were distracted, Wolvthorne pulled himself up and narrowed his sights on Mortimer. Weaponless, Mortimer nevertheless stood his ground and faced him. Wolvthorne told him he would pay for killing his partner, but he scoffed and reminded him there could only be one winner. An enraged Wolvthorne charged with axe in hand. Mortimer dodged his attack and began to run across the deck. Wolvthorne continued in hot pursuit, with Mortimer continuously evading his attacks. This became a hilarious game of cat and mouse, Artemis flinching every time Wolvthorne’s axe was within an inch of Mortimer’s head.
Meanwhile, Horace (10) finally emerged and noticed the separate fights going on. He decided to go after the girls, seeing the two men as a greater threat. Cat chased Jassy up to the steering wheel and managed to corner her. Jassy begged for her life, even offering to help defeat Wolvthorne. Cat remained unfazed and thrust her sword into her chest, sounding her cannon seconds later. Horace used the distraction to tackle Cat to the ground. He held her down with all his might and tried to wretch the sword out of her hand. She bit down on his hand so hard that blood began to pool. The crowds in Maximus Square were surprised by the power of her jaw. Cat ripped a flap of skin clean off Horace’s hand, drops of blood decorating her face. She regained possession of her sword and swung it back behind her. The blade lodged itself into the side of his head, sounding his cannon instantly. Out of breath, she limped to the railing and saw Mortimer was in trouble. She ran down the stairs to help her ally.
Despite the harrowing battle Cat was enduring, most of the attention was on the game of cat and mouse between Mortimer and Wolvthorne. At the same time Cat was struggling to escape Horace’s weight, one of Wolvthorne’s strikes demolished a wooden support beam that held a small above deck which would’ve led to the captain’s quarters. A particularly large cornerstone of the deck above fell onto Wolvthorne’s head, causing him to stumble back and collide with the ship’s edge. Mortimer used this opportunity to rush him and try pushing him off. Wolvthorne was much bigger than him and barely budged. However, Mortimer was successful in making him drop his axe. Wolvthorne headbutted Mortimer and shoved him to the ground. He attempted to choke him, but Mortimer twisted himself around and wrapped his legs around Wolvthorne’s torso. He used his elbows to push himself over his opponent’s back and pulled on his right arm all the while still keeping his leg grip. Wolvthorne struggled for a moment before wrestling himself free. He put him in a chokehold and slammed his face into the ground. He squeezed as hard as he could while Mortimer tried and failed to struggle. Many viewers in Maximus Square were cheering for Mortimer to fight back, mostly due to their betting money going towards him.
The prayers of the Buccaneers were answered when a sword entered Wolvthorne’s back and exited out his abdomen. Wolvthorne’s grip softened, enabling Mortimer to squeeze himself free. Wolvthorne turned to see Cat standing there with a determined look on her face. With the last bit of his strength, he lunged at Cat and pulled her into the blade protruding from his stomach. Cat let out a gasp as the blade entered her body. The Capital was shocked by the sudden turn of events but not as horrified as Mortimer. He grabbed the handle and looked at Cat. She looked upon him in sorrow and nodded her head. Mortimer unsheathed the sword from both bodies and thrust the blade into Wolvthorne’s brain, sounding his cannon instantly.
Mortimer thanked her for being his ally and a true friend. He quickly surveyed the skies. He leaned forward, brought his mouth to Cat’s ear, and began to whisper. The arena’s concealed microphones couldn’t decipher anything. Cat’s final words were, “Don’t worry. Patient confidentiality.” Her cannon sounded seconds later. Head Gamemaker Grimstone declared Mortimer Beckett of District 4 the victor of the 17th Hunger Games. Mortimer felt immense relief and let himself crumple onto the floor. The retrieval team arrived to pick him up and he came with them without a fight.
Mortimer was airlifted to the Maximus Hospital for medical examination. The arrow wound was stitched together and the cut over his eye received treatment, leaving two tic marks at the 2 o’clock and 8 o’clock positions. He was released two days later and was instructed to take it easy. Minerva escorted him back to the apartment, feeling happy he won. They reunited with Gill Henderson, who congratulated him for his win. While Mortimer admitted he felt grateful to have survived, he couldn’t stop thinking about Cat and how she was more deserving. Gill assured him that she sacrificed herself because she believed in him. He remained unconvinced, so Gill took him on a field trip to the Capital’s Oakley Museum of Art, recently erected by Silas MacIntyre (victor of the 7th Hunger Games) and Candace Freeman (victor of the 4th Hunger Games). It was there he met Phoebe Bentley and the two spent hours at the museum talking. Their intimate conversation helped Mortimer significantly, cheering him up enough to meet Gill at the Dipping Downer’s bar to drink with Bacchus Johnson (victor of the 9th Hunger Games) and Quarry Grounds (victor of the 12th Hunger Games).
The victor’s interview arrived and gathered a decent turnaround. Artemis and Luther wore matching outfits, reminiscent of the clothes swamp tour guides wore before the Dark Days. During the opening monologue, Luther expressed how pleased he was of the recent games giving them powerful personal journeys with the victors. Artemis said that while he was no Ashley Chen (victor of the 13th Hunger Games) or Sherpa Kapoor (victor of the 16th Hunger Games), she greatly enjoyed Mortimer’s performance. Mortimer entered the stage sporting something completely unexpected. His now famous tattoo was visible, but the suit he wore was intricately cut around it. The top half was sky blue while the bottom half was dark blue with wavy patterns making it look almost like the ocean. The funny part was him wearing a cap with a small cartoonish gator's head attached to the front.
Artemis and Luther started off by marveling at his outfit, calling it a revolution in fashion design. Mortimer attributed this to Minerva, the same person who polished the tattoo for the pre games interview. Artemis asked if he would get new tattoos, him saying he is planning on it. The first half of the interview was casual, covering topics of tattoo suggestions, his time at the bar with Bacchus and Quarry, and Minerva’s hard work on his outfit. The games eventually came up in conversation with Mortimer describing it “as if walking in a wet blanket that was also in the sewer”. Luther asked about the alligators and what motivated him to wrestle them. Mortimer tensed up but answered that he was trying to save Pearl. Artemis asked how much of a role she played in his victory. Mortimer credited her for getting the ball rolling in helping him realise to not give up on humanity. He saw her as the little sister he never had and wished he would have thanked her. Luther noted that since she got the ball rolling, it was someone else who broke through to him. Mortimer realised he was talking about Cat. He expressed how he felt she deserved to win more than him and how he chose to not let her sacrifice go to waste. Artemis admitted that while she betted on Cat, she was glad he made it, calling her Golden Victor material. Mortimer appreciated her sentiment. Luther reminded them that he was certainly a Golden Victor, citing his impressive chemistry skills and literally wrestling with an alligator. Him and Artemis dismissed Mortimer from the stage to rapturous applause, calling him “Captain Gator”, which became his victor’s nickname.
Mortimer was invited to some parties in the Capital. Gill accompanied him and stole the spotlight numerous times when requested to do shanties. Mortimer would dance along always with a drink in hand. He returned to District 4 and received a warm welcome from its citizens. He used the stage to openly apologise to those he turned away and for being a hoodlum. His reunion with his girlfriend Meridia was passionate and heartwarming, but not as much as the one with his father. Two weeks later, his request for Edward Beckett to undergo back surgery at the Capital was improved with a letter of recommendation personally penned by Gill. Edward’s damaged spinal disc was replaced with a flexible prosthetic. However, the surgery was a minimal success, removing some of the pain and enabling him to walk only small increments with assistance from a cane. Mortimer felt dejected over this but was humbled when several townsfolk pitched in to craft a wheelchair for him. Mortimer and his father partnered with Gill to start a rehabilitation center to help the injured and disabled workers of District 4 and the Island Bases. He further expanded his knowledge of chemistry and medicine, becoming District 4’s chief doctor. He crafted pain medication from the SHC compound delivered to him by Phoebe Bentley and prescribed them to various members of the district.
Mortimer made right by his promise and mended his relationships. He and Pearl’s father Alexander Riverstone crafted new nonalcoholic drinks, a certain cherry lime drink inspiring the Johnson’s Jazzy Juices future classic: the Beach Blanket. He also patched things up with Meridia’s father, the two often going on fishing trips together. His reputation only grew and grew until he was elected mayor of District 4 by the 31st Hunger Games. Mortimer grew closer to Gill and mentored alongside him until the next D4 victor was crowned. He became good friends with Phoebe Bentley as well, supplying him with chemistry textbooks and new batches of the warmweed’s SHC compound. In honor of Cat, he had Meridia etch a sea green ribbon tattoo, which represented mental health awareness, around the treasure chest. He was also friends with Corpse Beckford (victor of the 10th Hunger Games) who gifted him and Meridia tattoo inks for his birthday. Quarry Grounds (victor of the 12th Hunger Games) was also in Mortimer's good graces after he gifted Edward a special redwood cane with a beautiful marble topper.
Things were complicated when it came to his relationship with Meridia. Initially, they grew much closer, her giving him sea serpent tattoos on both his arms in addition to the ribbon. Unfortunately, five months before next year’s game, the two broke off the relationship. However, after the tumultuous 18th Hunger Games, the two reconciled and married a week before the reaping of the 19th Hunger Games. The two had five kids, naming his first daughter Katherine, after his deceased ally.
Mortimer was one of the four Golden Victors to disappear alongside Vixen Furtherson (victor of the 14th Hunger Games) after Savannah Pickett (victor of the 6th Hunger Games)’s death before the 41st Hunger Games. Days after the 47th Hunger Games, the underground terrorist group The Phoenix Fighters leaked two dossiers days apart. The first revealing reports of many accidents taking place on the military island bases. It also highlighted some cases of peacekeepers overworking and in some cases beating workers. The same dossier also revealed how Edward Beckett’s ‘accident’ was actually caused by the Faroe Island Base’s assistant supervisor Plutarch Manson. Manson was found dead in his Capital apartment three days later, his throat slit.
The second dossier revealed evidence of the reapings being tampered with over the years, whether it’d be names added, taken out, or scrubbed. The second dossier instigated some chaos in the districts, which was hastily subdued by the peacekeepers. Mortimer was never seen again, though there was heavy speculation regarding his possible membership in The Phoenix Fighters. On occasion, Capital navy ships and submarines would be attacked and looted under mysterious circumstances. One survivor named Lemuel Stanton blamed everything on a ‘ghost submarine’, one no one could see on the radar nor in person. A fair pocket of Capital analysts suspected Mortimer but lack of evidence kept his bounty from increasing.

We have done it. The end of another school year! Before we jump into this last set of stories, remember to subscribe to ReddX, home of the best cringe content on YouTube. Promise, swearsies, it’s just a fact and it’s totally science. Go ahead and look it up!
I miss that intro a lot so I figured I’d just write it in. I waited until after graduation to post this because, with ManiBeard at graduation, I figured anything could happen. And it did. And with that, let’s jump into this last set of beardy tales (for this school year). Let’s a-go.

1. “No Place Like Home (Campus)”

I was in a pretty good mood because I found out that district was ticked off at admin for considering moving my Cave to a different room next year and because they keep using my Cave as ‘backup’ for state testing. Evidently, the district was unaware this was happening but after I had complained to Cook about the extent of it she went to the district and, well, I’m keeping my Cave next year right where it is, and testing use will be limited. I won without lifting a finger. Sometimes bureaucracy works. Not often, but it’s beautiful when it does.
Of course, that good mood was not to last…
On this day I had a meeting with all the other Graphic Design teachers at another campus. We will call it Clique High School (because ‘cult’ may or may not be YouTube-friendly).
The first thing you need to know is I have a history with CHS. Remember, all the way back in chapter 1 where I mention I was a substitute teacher at Standard High before they hired me as a teacher? Well, there was one part I left out because it was irrelevant to that story, but it becomes relevant here. It is true I did sub at SHS, but the part I left out was that for half of the 2020-2021 school year (Covid year), I was a long-term sub at another campus and that campus was Clique High School. To say it was a poor experience would be underselling it immensely. You could say that Elon Musk is well off but that doesn’t really express the massive mounds of money that malevolent menace truly had. Likewise, saying I had a poor experience at CHS doesn’t really express the absolutely traumatizing, terrible, troublesome experience that my life there. It got so bad that I would leave work, cry the entire 30-minute drive to SHS, pick up Beatle, and make him drive the rest of the way home because my eyes were sore from crying.
What did I do at CHS? Well, I was a long-term sub in ESL. That’s where I got my start with it. When I walked in at the start of that year I’d never had a high school classroom before, I had no lesson plans, limited access to the curriculum since I was a sub, and I was teaching virtually because Covid…and what did I do? I build a curriculum, bonded with my class, and wrote my own lesson plans (even though subs generally don’t write plans). Basically, I rebuilt their ESL program. I did apply for the job. After all, I was already doing all of the work for substitute pay. I may as well get teacher pay for being a teacher. Right? Wrong.
They did interview me for the job but then proceeded to yank me around for half a semester before finally saying they were going to hire someone else. Who? No idea. But not me. But they wanted me to continue to long-term sub and do what I was doing until they found someone. Honestly, when I didn’t get the job part of me was pissed because of all the work I put in, but part of me was relieved. You see, the culture at CHS isn’t like the culture at SHS. Their principal, whom we will call Mr. D (for reasons that will soon be clear), had been named the district’s principal of the year and his staff completely fawned over him…a staff mostly comprised of women. The male-to-female ratio at CHS was considerably more unbalanced than at SHS. What struck me as odd was that Mr. D did not seem to warrant such admiration. During my interactions with him, I got slimy car salesman vibes more than high school principal. I would come to find out that this went deeper than I knew.
Remember AVIDBeard? Yeah, to her credit she was the one that warned me. Mostly I think she saw a chance to gossip, but nonetheless. I was visiting SHS and telling the English dept. how much I missed subbing for them (they actually liked me at this time…this was long before EnglishBeard even worked there so certainly before that whole thing made me a pariah). They missed me too. Although honestly, they missed having a sub at their becken call. Let’s be real. Anyway, AVIDBeard was all too happy to jump in with gossip.
“Be careful over there Mandy,” AVIDBeard said.
“Why? What do you know?” I asked.
“I had a training over there once and this teacher that works there started freaking out because the instructor, who was also a teacher there, was late. She started to have an anxiety attack and when I asked her what was wrong she said ‘Daddy isn’t going to like this’,” AVIDBeard explained.
“What?!” everyone in the room asked at once.
AVIDBeard nodded, “I know! So I asked her, ‘you call your principal Daddy?’ and she said ‘of course.’.”
I raised an eyebrow. I was skeptical, to say the least. Even then I knew AVIDBeard was not a reliable source. But, on the off chance she was telling the truth I had to know. CHS wasn’t exactly full of friendly teachers. In fact, where everyone at SHS had been welcoming, it had been the very opposite at CHS. They treated me like an outsider they were skeptical of. I had managed to at least have somewhat of a dialogue with the librarian. She helped me to ensure that my ESL students had books in their native languages to read during the pandemic. I went to her one day to ask about scheduling some book pick-ups for the students (this was when teachers were on-campus but students were virtual).
“Hey, can I ask you something?” I asked after we had figured out scheduling.
“Sure, what’s up?” she asked.
“OK, so it’s dumb, but someone told me you guys call Mr. D ‘daddy’. Silly, right?” I said with a laugh.
She just blinked, “Who told you that?”
Her reaction caught me off guard. She wasn’t laughing. My eyes widened, “Um, I don’t remember, it just got mentioned in passing.”
“Don’t ask anyone else that question…just…don’t even mention it,” she said.
I blinked. I wanted out of this conversation, “OK, I won’t. I’ll just forget I ever heard about it.”
She nodded and turned away, “I have work to do. If you need more books let me know.”
I rushed back to my classroom. After that, the librarian was very cold toward me.
To this day I honestly believe that the reason Mr. D didn’t hire me was because I’m too strong-willed and I have a big mouth…neither fits well into a cult-like structure, which it is very obvious CHS is.
At the semester break, they hadn’t yet hired anyone and asked me to stay for the rest of the year as a long-term sub. Basically, they wanted to pay me sub pay for an entire year of teaching. I told them ‘no way’ and I begged the district and Mr. Principal to let me return to subbing at SHS. I didn’t even care that regular sub pay was less than long-term sub pay. I just wanted out…and it turns out it all worked in my favor because obviously Mr. Principal ended up hiring me for the very job that Mr. D rejected me from and I’m very happy where I am now. And I don’t even have to call Mr. Principal ‘daddy’. Gag! Say what you will about Standard High, but I’ll take it over CHS any day.
OK, I know that was a lot of backstory, but I truly need you to understand why I so vehemently loathe everything about CHS and moreover why even being there gives me a mild case of PTSD.
Alright then, where were we? Oh yeah. Meeting for Graphic Design teachers over at CHS. I was not happy about this because I hate being at CHS of course, but I also hated leaving my students with a sub this close to the end of the year. But, alas, there I was. I walked into the familiar, loathsome halls. Daddy was in the main hall greeting his subjects.
“Mandy? What are you doing here?” he asked as he looked me over. I was in full-school spirit mode. SHS staff shirt and matching school spirit Converse I had custom-made.
“Graphic Design meeting,” I said.
“Oh, you teach Graphic Design now?” he asked.
I nodded, “Yeah, I did so great at fixing their ESL program they gave me my true dream job and now I’m relaunching their graphic design program.” OK, so it was a bit of embellishment, but I wanted him to know that his loss was SHS’s gain.
“Shame…we have an ESL position open here at The Clique,” Mr. D said. That’s how he referred to his campus. Imagine if the school’s name was Blue Mountain High and he called it The Mountain. Yeah…cringey.
“Oh yeah? I heard Patty didn’t stay,” I said. Patty was who they hired instead of me. She ended up retiring after one year at ‘The Clique’.
“Yeah, well we hired Emmy to replace Patty and now she is leaving,” Mr. D said.
“Shame…yeah, I’m still at SHS and quite happy. I heard principals were turning to poaching from other high schools so I’ll save you the trouble. I’m not poachable,” I said, wanting to get away from him.
“You could have your old job in your old room,” Mr. D said in a tone that made me very uneasy.
“I have a perfectly lovely Cave. Besides, my husband works at SHS too and I like being on the same campus as the love of my life,” I said, pointedly.
“If you change your mind, let me know. Enjoy your meeting. Welcome back to The Clique,” Mr. D said as I quickly walked away to find the room Graphic Design was meeting in.
Now, this may come as a surprise to you all, but I am NOT a social creature. Truly. Beatle is my best friend and aside from Cali all my other friends are on the ReddX Discord (hence my desire to not get myself banned over there). And I am 150% ok with that. At that moment I wanted to be in my Cave more than anything. The pressure to be ‘on’ and social was beyond exhausting to me, especially this late in the year. But, always the professional, I mustered every bit of perky in me to be lovely to my other-campus counterparts.
This proved to be a challenge. One of them, more of a Karen than a Beard really, would not shut up about how amazing her campus was and how she never had issues with phones because her kids were so well-behaved. She also said she couldn’t post work early because they would have it done before they ever got to class. Oh, and of course she is teaching graphic design because she needed a break from her real job as an engineer. And oh, did she mention she is an engineer? Because she’s an engineer. She also went on and on about how she didn’t like the curriculum at another campus she was at so she complained and got 68 teachers from all over the country to back her up and they changed the whole curriculum to what she wanted. OK, whatever. I wanted to ask if everyone stood up and cheered too.
Another teacher was just insufferable. She kept asking for the same bloody stuff over and over even after being told it wasn’t in the budget. She didn’t know the cost of any of it, just that everything she wanted (think equipment and software licenses) was expensive and our budget is next to nothing right now. She didn’t even make arguments as to why we needed it. She just kept asking for the same stuff in the same way. All of it was stuff we didn’t need and most of us wouldn’t even use.
I contributed my thoughts on what I felt needed to be added to the curriculum, which was met with agreement. I really only had that one suggestion. The rest of the time I let them do their thing, which was woefully unorganized, disjointed, and overall a waste of time I could be grading papers. And so I decided that while they did their thing I would organize my Google Drive. As I was doing this I noticed something. I was still the owner on ALL the ESL files for SHS. Not just the ones I created…ALL OF THEM. If I were to hit delete SHS would literally have to start from scratch organizing their program with new teachers next year. But Ms. Dean did make clear I was to have nothing to do with ESL anymore. If I deleted the folders was that malicious compliance? Or just being a bitch for the sake of it? I still haven’t decided…I find the situation humorous, in not a bit morally ambiguous.
Ultimately, it was decided that 1 day wasn’t enough for our meeting so we would meet again one week later at the same place. I declined. I needed to be on my campus because I did have actual work to do. Grades would be due the day they wanted to meet. I wasn’t the only one. About half of the graphic design teachers agreed to meet again the following week and we would all be meeting again August 1st. So I get to start my school year back at ‘The Clique’. Lovely.
Yeah, this was a very real reminder that for all the beardery at Standard High, it could be SO much worse.

1. “Lunchtime!”

After that long mammoth of a tale that the last story was, here is a short one for you.
This happened the day after my meeting at CHS. Sonia wanted to end the school year with some team building so she asked Ms. Dean if they could have an off-campus team meeting at a nearby restaurant and grab some food. Ms. Dean told them no. Sonia then decided they would just order takeaway and do the same thing on campus. She reserved a conference room and everything.
So the day of the eat and meet came. Beatle had ordered some enchiladas and was looking forward to a hot meal during the workday. CovidBeard didn’t go because she said she wasn’t feeling well and needed to just go home early. I know that comes as a shock. Meanwhile, ManiBeard decided he would sit next to his bff, Beatle. ManiBeard hadn’t ordered any food because ‘the catering menu looked good, but nothing on the regular menu appealed to me’. What ManiBeard did have, however, was a bag of crackers. As Beatle tried to eat his food, ManiBeard both ate his crackers and talked at the same time. It didn’t take long for Beatle to realize that small bits of cracker crumbs were flying at him and his food. He shifted to the side to dodge the airborne particles that threatened to infect his space. It was here that ManiBeard declared he had signed his contract but still wasn’t sure if he would be back next year because he had until July 3rd to pull out of his contract and he really just didn’t want to make a commitment.
After the meeting, everyone went their own way, except ManiBeard, who cornered Beatle in the mudroom. I was in my Cave waiting for him when I got a text ‘SOS, I’ve been cornered! Mudroom!’
I sighed, “Come on Wee One. We have to go save Dad.”
Wee One chuckled, “Oh no.” She followed me faithfully as we headed downstairs.
“Oh, good, you’re here already. We gotta go Love. Wee One has that thing…see ya later ManiBeard!” I said as I grabbed Beatle’s arm as I passed and just kept walking.
The next day Beatle went into Sonia’s room for inclusion and she smiled at him, “Sure you got all the crumbs off?” she teased.
Beatle rolled his eyes, “Right?!”
Sonia nodded, “ManiBeard is why I don’t eat lunch in the workroom anymore. ManiBeard would walk over to me and just stand over me…like right over me…and talk while he ate which would just send food everywhere. One day he was eating some chicken salad and a piece of chicken flew out of his mouth and landed on my arm.”
“Oh bloody hell. That’s disgusting,” Beatle said before vowing not to be near ManiBeard eating ever again.

1. “Little Lies”

Ever since it was announced PastorBeard was the new dept head he had been walking around like a roster puffing out his chest. He had also been going out of his way to talk to Beatle, as if to rub in that he got the dept head job and Beatle didn’t. It was annoying, but I stayed out of it. I even played nice when PastorBeard stopped me in the parking lot one day and asked me about my weekend plans while I was waiting for Beatle.
“What are you plans this weekend, Mandy?” PastorBeard asked as he leaned against the side of my car.
“Oh, nothing major. Weekend chores. Beatle has some school work to get done and he’s going to put some snake repellant in the yard…I’ll probably clean the house and spend some time with my mum,” I said, trying to be pleasant as I could be. What I really wanted to do was to tell him he was a bastard that should never teach, let alone lead a dept.
“You should come to watch me on Sunday. I’m preaching his weekend,” he said with a smile. His tone came off like he intended it to be a flex.
I forced a smiled, “No thanks. Not my thing.”
“God isn’t ‘your thing’?” he asked, leaning towards me a bit.
I took a step back, “Not the same one you believe in.” I started absentmindedly playing with the Flower of Aphrodite pendant I wore around my neck.
“Are you Catholic or something?” he asked.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. People presumed since Beatle was Irish that we were a Catholic family a lot. Instead, I shook my head, “No. Actually, if you must know, I’m Pagan.”
PastorBeard looked taken aback, “Oh…I see.”
“So, while I appreciate the invite…not my thing,” I said again.
“You should come anyway. I’d love to look out on Sunday and see you there. And who knows? If you hear what I have to say you may change your mind about being pagan,” PastorBeard said with a cocky smile.
I looked around hoping Beatle and Wee One were going to be there soon, “I doubt it…anyway…um…I hate to keep you on a Friday.”
“I’m not in a rush. You’re fine,” he said, “Did you hear I’m the new dept head?”
“Yeah. I know,” I said, “Beatle told me. He applied to you know.”
“I know. They need someone that is a strong leader for the job though, someone that can guide the dept the way I guide the church. They can’t pick someone with a weak personality. A man should be able to lead…his church, his work, and of course his wife,” PastorBeard said pointedly.
“Uh huh…a good leader knows when to defer to those wiser than he,” I said as I saw Beatle and Wee One, “Love! Hey!” I waved.
Beatle saw PastorBeard and looked unhappy, “Hi PastorBeard.”
“Have a good weekend you guys. See you later Mandy…think about my offer,” he said as he went and got into his truck that sat on tires far too big for it.
“What was that?” Beatle asked when we got in the car.
I shrugged, “He was either hitting on me or he was just being a pompous arse…or both. Hard to say.”
And we went on our way.
The next work day Beatle walked into the workroom and saw PastorBeard in there talking to Vera (the assistant mentioned in chapter 26.)
“Just do your best to set them up for success,” PastorBeard told Vera as he walked out of the workroom.
Vera sighed.
“Are you ok mate?” Beatle asked her.
Vera shook her head, “We’re almost done. Almost there.”
“What happened?” Beatle asked.
“Well, only 2 of the kids in that group in the hall workspace need my help,” Vera said pointing to a group outside PastorBeard’s room, “The others are kids missing work and PastorBeard kicked them out of the classroom. I’m supposed to watch them and make sure they behave but they already told me they aren’t going to do anything.”
Beatle’s expression went dark, “You’re a SPED assistant. Not a babysitter.”
“I know, but I’ve never seen him actually help anyone. He doesn’t go around the room to help. Just tells them to be quiet and pokes them. I don’t know why he feels the need to touch them. He tells them if they need help they can go to him and he just sits at his desk the whole time…but no one is gonna go to him for help because they don’t like him,” Vera vented.
Beatle sighed, “You know he’s dept head next year, right?”
“Oh, I know. He told me no one else wanted it,” Vera said sadly.
Beatle blinked, “No ma’am. I interviewed for it.”
“That’s just what I heard,” Vera said.
“He lied,” Beatle shook his head.
What PastorBeard didn’t know is that Beatle had something else in the works…we weren’t sure it would pan out at this point (as of this writing we still aren’t), but Beatle wasn’t going to take PastorBeard’s crap lying down…and for that, I was proud of him.

1. “Wrapping It Up”

3.5 days till summer. Grades were due. I sat at my computer to adjust the grade book and turned on some music. Not even kidding, ‘The Final Countdown’ was on the radio (yes, I listen to the radio. Satellite Radio to be precise). It was the perfect music for working on my end-of-year checklist. I felt like I was in a movie and this was my montage music!
We reached the point in the year when all the teachers were just playing movies. For my part, I was letting them watch the Super Mario Movie. I had some happy students. I also wrote Wee One a pass to spend the day in my room. She was done with her work and wanted to help me with some Graphic Design work for next year’s launch (we are launching an on-campus design firm). She asked me which workstation she could work at and I did the worst thing a mum can do to her child. I sat her next to my baby neckbeard. She started working but within 10 minutes she came to my desk.
“Mom…” she started.
I looked at her. “Excuse me?”
She sighed, “I’m sorry…Ms. Mandy?”
“Yes ma’am?” I asked her.
“Can I sit on the other side of the room…it’s less claustrophobic and I have a friend over there…” she trailed off.
I chuckled and leaned in so only she could hear me, “You don’t appreciate sitting next to the baby neckbeard?”
She looked sheepish, “Not really.”
“Can you smell him?” I asked.
She made a disgusted face, “Sort of, yeah.”
“OK, yes, go ahead and move,” I nodded.
In the meantime, Beatle was texting me:
Beatle: Why does ManiBeard always start class with “How are we?” instead of “How are you?”?
Mandy: Because that’s what’s in his programming.
Beatle: LMAO! Point. I will not miss him this summer. You know he said he is only helping with graduation because he didn’t help with either dance. I thought it was mandatory that we do one of the 1 dances.
Mandy: Sigh. 1) yes it is and I bet they got on him and forced him to help with graduation and 2) why the hell would they let him help with graduation? That event is stressful enough without adding ManiBeard to the mix.
Beatle: He said he rather work graduation because it’s his favorite event because he gets to see the kids move on.
Mandy: But he’s a freshman teacher. He doesn’t know many if any, seniors.
Beatle: I know! Oh, CovidBeard is leaving.
Mandy: WHAT?! FOREVER?!
Beatle: I’m watching her class for the rest of the period.
Mandy: Oh, just for today.
Beatle: Yeah. Don’t get too excited.
Mandy: Damn. 3.5 days left. Heaven forbid she stick it out.
Beatle: Right?
And right about the time I was hoping my Beard encounters were over. At least until graduation…it happened. I had to email EnglishBeard. Why? Because I needed one of his students (who happened to be one of my most talented graphic design students) to come to my class the next day during his class. I cringed at having to interact with him. I asked Beatle if I should even bother. “We’re not doing anything, why would he say no?” Beatle asked. “He’s a beard.” I replied. “Fair.” Beatle conceded.
Finally, I took a breath and started to type: “EnglishBeard, if it is alright with you, can Sara come to my class during 5th period tomorrow to do some Graphic Design work? Thanks, Mandy”
2 hours later, he replied, “What work? Why should I send her to an elective? My class is core.”
I sighed, “It’s ok if you are doing something in class. I just thought it would be ok if you are just watching movies.” I replied.
“We are just watching movies, but my class is still a core class and yours is not,” EnglishBeard replied.
“You are correct. However, Sara is going to be in my Graphic 3 class next year and I want to get all my Graphic 3 students together for a meeting before the end of the year and the rest of them are in my 5th period. If you don’t want to send her that is fine,” I replied.
“Ok, that would be fine. I will allow it,” EnglishBeard finally said.
I sighed and wrote a pass to give to Sara.
Meanwhile, in the English 1 meeting, Beatle was dealing with his own Beard.
“And the Beard came back….CovidBeard came back for the meeting,” Beatle texted me.
“WHY?!” I texted back.
“IDK! I’m spraying Lysol when she leaves the room. She’s like ‘I’m sitting here sweating. I have no idea what I have.’ I guess she came back for attention,” Beatle replied.
I sighed as I typed, “Probably.”
Why did all these Beards have to come back? Why couldn’t this be last year when we had the mass exodus of Beards? That was nice. I liked that.
Maybe they would get less beardy over the summer?
Probably not.

1. “Graduation Day”

Have you ever sat through a graduation ceremony? If you have you know how dull they are. Being part of it is even worse. Graduation in Australia was quite different, but when I graduated from college in America Beatle practically had to force me into the cap and gown. It was not something I have ever liked…so the irony that I volunteer every year (except next year when Wee One graduates) is not lost on me. Mostly, I do it because I know it means something to the kids to see their teachers there. That said, I silently curse in my head the entire time while making sure to smile, be peppy, and congratulate even the most ungrateful of students. While I don’t look back on my graduation fondly, some of them might and I want to help provide good memories.
Graduation isn’t just on that day either. The day before we have to participate in graduation practice, which is just as awful, if not worse. I did entertain myself by watching ManiBeard however.
We all gathered in the practice gym to line up and then once everyone was in place we processed into the main gym. The practice gym was so bloody hot that I was sweating. It was so bloody hot that ManiBeard actually took off his cardigan for the first time all year. I have now confirmed he does have arms under it. Bloke never takes off his cardigan/coat…even when the outside temp is 100+ in Fahrenheit. I further observed only to realize that they had, for some reason, put ManiBeard in the same row as 2 of the baby beards I’ve been observing over the course of the year. ManiBeard was as clueless as one might expect and had no idea how to manage the kids and telling them when to stand, when to sit, when to walk, etc. He made it through graduation practice, but I was seriously concerned about the next day. I was also concerned because I saw the gown they set aside for Mani. It was huge! He was going to look like a puppy wearing his owner’s sweater. Let the chaos commence!
And commence it did. Shortly after lunch Beatle texted me “OZZY ISN’T COMING BACK! WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON AROUND HERE?!”
Remember Ozzy? The other Australian on campus? Yeah, evidently he said, “this really isn’t something I foresaw happening. It is something I needed to do. But please, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m excited to leave. I’m not. It’s actually been really hard packing up my things.” Ozzy had been around since the campus opened in 2016. It was a true shock to see him leave and Beatle was very distraught over it. Honestly, so was I.
After school Beatle barrelled into his classroom, “OK, mate, what the hell is going on?”
The conversation was private so I’m not going to detail it, but I will say that circumstances happened so that Ozzy had to go back to Australia. He was not happy about it. He said he thought he would retire from Standard High, but life happens. This was a blow, but we wish him the best.
I found out later that night that ManiBeard managed to out-beard himself. He did the beardiest thing he’d ever done.
“Did you guys meet today in E1?” I asked Beatle.
“Yeah, but it was more social than a meeting,” Beatle replied.
“ManiBeard? Social? How did that go?” I asked.
Beatle chuckled, “ManiBeard wasn’t there.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he miscalculated all his grades and had to redo them,” Beatle said.
I froze as I tried to register what he said. Finally I spoke, “But our gradebook is automated. We don’t calculate anything. We put in the number and bam…grades. How the hell did Mani manage to ‘miscalculate’ grades?”
“No idea, but admin wasn’t happy. They sent in Lana to guide him through it,” Beatle said.
I laughed, “Oh my god! After everything he did to keep Lana out of his room she ended up fixing his gradebook? The irony is too delicious! This has got to be the beardiest thing he has ever done. How the fuck do you miscalculate grades in and automated gradebook?!”
Beatle shrugged, “Talent?”
The next morning (THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL) an email started circulating from teachers that were worried about getting left at the arena we were holding graduation in. They wanted to ensure the bus wouldn’t leave them behind. Beatle and I watched as the emails flooded our inboxes. ManiBeard: “I need a ride too.” EnglishBeard: “Don’t leave me behind!” HistoryBeard: “I look like too much of an escaped inmate to safely hitchhike. Don’t leave me either.” MathBeard:I need the bus to get back to school.”
It was at that point I texted my brother to see if he could pick Beatle and I up after graduation. To be clear, we have to ride the bus over with students so taking our own car wasn’t an option…but riding the BeardBus home did not appeal to either of us. I like getting fodder for stories, but I’m not a complete sadomasochist. My brother agreed and I felt relief wash over me.
Beatle and I ended up combining our classes in my Cave for the last day because we bought breakfast tacos and donuts for the kids and it was easier to combine classes than to try to split the food. So, most of the last day was the kids eating and playing Mario Kart on our Switch. It was pretty fun. I did leave the kids with Beatle at one point so I could go down to Cook’s kitchen and do my department check-out stuff. When I say Cook had a professional kitchen that is not hyperbole. The culinary kitchen at Standard High is anything but standard. We’re talking a state-of-the-art kitchen that any head chef would be in awe of. It’s truly a thing to behold and for high school students? Yeah, it is pretty bloody great. Oh, and the cutting boards…let me tell you about the numerous cutting boards!
…I’m kidding Red! Just kidding!
But yeah, the kitchen is pretty great. Anyway, when I went into said kitchen, MediaBeard was in there doing his check-out as well. When he saw me he smiled and turned to me.
“Mandy, thank you so much for everything you did for me this year. It was a rough year and you had my back. I truly appreciate you, thank you,” he said as he hugged me.
I hugged him back, “Aww, mate…I got ya. Anytime. Next year will be better.”
When I said back in Chapter 1 that MediaBeard was certainly a Beard, but one of the ‘good’ beards, this is what I meant. Yes, he can be a bit…well…beardly. But, the bloke has a good heart. And I am glad he will be back next year. I’m going to try to mentor him now that I’m settled in graphic design. I am also glad he will not be Wee One’s teacher next year. She’s decided to take graphic design 3 and animation 1 which means she will have me as her teacher for 3 out of 8 periods. Come to find out she likes me as her teacher. And I’m pretty hard on her. She said I made her better. I must be doing something right!
Cook has 100% become my work Mum and I adore her. She plans to have a department soiree before school starts and for the first time ever I’m actually looking forward to going to a department function, solely because of Cook. She is amazing.
Finally, as long last, the 2022-2023 school year ended. All the non-senior students left and the seniors arrived.
Beatle and I scarfed our lunch down and headed to the gym… this is where graduation truly begins.
I put my gown on over my work clothes as did Beatle. We sat together and chatted for a bit before he went to his row to help organize kids. I was left sitting alone in my row as the students filed in. And, as I usually do in these situations, I started to observe my surroundings and live a bit in my own head.
I saw some teachers grouped up talking and laughing near me. For a moment I felt that loneliness I felt all through school (until I met Beatle). I had a moment of feeling like that ‘weird blonde kid’ again. I guess it never really goes away. It was a reminder that from the day we met (see SquirrelBeard for that story) Beatle has always been where I fit. Does anyone else ever have a moment of reversion like that? Where even as an adult you remember how it was to be an outcast at 15 or whatever? Maybe it’s just me? Maybe it’s because I work in a high school?
In any case, I snapped out of it and looked around. What caught my eye was a pair of BRIGHT crimson skinny jeans. And the wearer? ManiBeard. OF COURSE! He also had on a plain white t-shirt with the district logo on it that we got free at the start of the year and Van trainers. What was the dress code for this event that admin had explicitly given us the day before? Dress pants and a Polo or button-up for men or a suit for men, a dress or nice pants and shirt for women, dress shoes, and absolutely no jeans, trainers, or t-shirts. Yeah. For J’s part he had on black pants and a black button-up shirt with a tie. He looked good. It was also the first time he got to wear his Master’s hood at a graduation, which was pretty frickin cool too! I had on black pants and a nice shirt. I was not wearing a dress at graduation. Just, no. Anyway…ManiBeard…right…so he wore EXACTLY what admin said don’t wear. Cause…ManiBeard. And I was right, his gown made him look like a puppy wearing his owner’s sweater. It would have been cute if it was anyone but Mani. Instead he just looked robotic and lost. And, exactly like I suspected, he didn’t talk to any of the kids. He didn’t even congratulate them. Probably because he teachers 9th graders and didn’t know any of these kids and had no connection to them. Beatle knew a lot of them. These were the kids that he taught his first year as freshmen so he had seen them through all 4 years. It was emotional for him.
It was around this time I turned around and noticed paramedics in the hall. I later found out a student (one of mine actually) had a seizure. I had seen them roll a kid out of the building on an office chair but I didn’t know who under Mr. Principal told me later. As all of this was happening APBeard said they put a sign up sheet on the stage for any teacher that needed to take the bus back to campus after the ceremony. A bunch of teachers headed to the stage. One that looked like a textbook beard said, as he walked past me, “that would be all of us. Like any of us can afford an Uber with what they pay us.” I raised an eyebrow and looked the man over. “That has GOT to be HistoryBeard” I thought to myself. Beatle ran up behind me.
“See that bloke up there…the one at the sign up sheet right now?” Beatle asked me quietly.
“Yeah,” I said.
“That’s HistoryBeard,” he confirmed.
“I knew it! I knew that had to be him. Damn, he is a beard and it’s not even just on the inside,” I said.
Beatle shook his head, “No, he’s one that is beard inside and out.”
I shuttered as Beatle returned to his seat.
About 45 minutes later we boarded the bus and headed to the arena. I hoped everything would be smooth sailing from there, but that would have been WAY too easy.
So, I need to paint a bit of a picture here…have you ever been backstage at an arena? It’s not a huge space…and when you put a couple hundred people back there…it’s a tight fit. We were lucky to have a 2 inch radius around us. Personal space does not exist when you cram everyone back there. And we had to line up in order. Each row had a letter. It seemed everything was fine. My row was in order…but something felt off. That’s when I realized whoever set the signs up doesn’t know the bloody alphabet because instead of A, B, C, D, E, F, G it went A, B, C, D, E, G, F. I was in row F. I realized the error but I also wasn’t about to move anything without telling an AP. So I found an AP that said he had to find another AP and 3 APs later I was told to swap Rows F and G. I helped correct the signed and then we had to shift the rows with VERY little space. It was…something.
It was hot, cramped, and miserable. Beatle told me later some of the kids in his row snuck back into a supply room and were stealing popcorn. It was in the moments of being back stage I remembered why last year I said to myself ‘never again, I’m never doing graduation again’. I’m really not next year cause of Wee One and I’ll probably forget the year after and volunteer again. Cause teacher brain. Anyway, it was finally go time and we walked out, sat down, and the ceremony started. All done? Not quite.
For the sake of wrapping this up I’ll quickly list the crap that happened during the ceremony:

1. Someone in the stands called to a kid ‘you look like ET but we love you anyway!’ to which a graduate yelled back ‘you’re an asshole’. Classy.
2. ManiBeard was clueless and lost. He may as well have not even been there because he was mostly just in the way.
3. The boys decided it was great fun to pretend to fall on stage just before the got to Mr. Principal. This happened 4 times. A 5th pretended he was about to fall then twerked instead. Again, classy. Ladies and gentleman, our future.
4. A boy in the row in front of me turned around and was using his program to sword fight with a boy in my row. I gave them the ‘mom/teacher look’ and they both got a panicked look and said ‘sorry ma’am’ before sitting straight for the rest of the ceremony. Maybe Wee One is right. Maybe I am scary.
5. MediaBeard made the senior video and it was awful. I have a hard time believing he worked ‘in the industry’. Next year I’m going to see if he will let me do some graphic design templates for him. It will be part of my proposal to mentor him.

And then graduation was over. Beatle and I checked with Number One and were cleared to leave. Brother picked us up and we headed to dinner (where Brother once again came very close to getting the name BrotherBeard) and summer began.
And that concludes this year of School of Beards. If there is any demand I will be back in the fall because with all the beards returning I am sure to have a new batch of tales. I sincerely want to thank everyone that had come on this journey with me, Red for reading (and being a mate), and Beatle for supporting me and allowing me to share his stories. I mostly want to thank everyone that has listened to Red read these stories because that is the most amazing thing…hearing these stories read and getting his insight. I do appreciate it more than I can say. Keep an eye out for the rest of BowserBeard this summer and maybe a couple of one-offs.
Now, to end this year I decided to try my hand at my first parody song. Apologies if it’s not very good. Like I said, it’s my first one. I hope it doesn’t suck!
“BeardSchool’s Out” (Parody of “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper)
Well, we got no choice
But to hear the noise
Listenin to the beards’ voice
The poor girls and boys
Well, we can't escape ya
Can't find an out
And when they start to shout
Education’s in doubt
BeardSchool's out for summer
Beards go into slumber
Beardschool makes us shutter
No more Mani
No more English
No more preacher's judgment, yeah
Well, Mani can’t control his class
And Pastor’s got the Principal
And the students pay the price
We can't even think about next year
BeardSchool's out for summer
Beards go into slumber
Beardschool makes us shutter
No more Media
No more Math Emails
No more two-faced Dean
Out for summer
Out 'til fall
Do the beards have to come back at all
Beards go slumber
BeardSchool's out for summer
Watch the Beards lumber
BeardSchool’s out till August

Notion has emerged as an essential writing tool over the past few years. It already allowed users to manage virtually every aspect of the content creation process in an easy to use interface. That’s why I was excited to see that Notion just lauched its AI tool, Notion AI. But what exact is Notion AI and what are the potential uses of Notion AI for writers? Read on to learn more!

What is Notion?

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Notion is a digital workspace that allows you to organize and manage various aspects of your life, including tasks, projects, notes, and more. It is a flexible, all-in-one platform that combines the functionality of various productivity tools, such as project management software, note-taking apps, and databases, into a single workspace.
Notion features a customizable interface that allows users to create pages, databases, and templates that suit their specific needs. It also supports a wide range of integrations with other tools and services, such as Google Drive, Trello, and Slack.
Notion is available on desktop and mobile devices, and it offers both free and paid plans with varying levels of features and capabilities. Its popularity has grown rapidly in recent years, making it a popular choice for individuals, teams, and businesses looking to streamline their workflows and increase productivity.

What is Notion AI?

Notion announced on February 22, 2023 that all users could access notion’s latest tool, Notion AI.
Notion AI is an artificial intelligence assistant that can be used natively within Notion documents, spreadsheets, or other Notion products. Notion AI uses the same GPT-3 language model that is behind ChatGPT.

What Are The Features of Notion AI?

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Notion AI contains a number of features designed to enhance productivity for writers within Notion.
Notion AI allow users to:
- Create a content calendar to plan ahead and stay organized with your blog posts.
- Write catchy headlines that will grab your readers’ attention and encourage them to read further.
- Use visuals, such as images and videos, to make your blog posts more engaging and memorable.
- Make sure your blog is mobile-friendly, as more and more people are accessing content on their smartphones and tablets.
- Use social media to promote your blog and reach a wider audience.
- Engage with your readers by responding to comments and encouraging discussion on your blog.
- Focus on a niche or specific topic to establish yourself as an expert in that area.
- Collaborate with other bloggers or brands to expand your reach and bring new perspectives to your blog.
- Use SEO techniques, such as keyword research and meta descriptions, to improve your blog’s visibility on search engines.
- Experiment with different types of content, such as listicles, how-to guides, and interviews, to keep your blog fresh and interesting.
You can see a full list of the current Notion AI features in the screenshots below:

Notion AI Pricing

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Anyone (including users with a free Notion plan) can try Notion AI for free, in order to test its capabilities before purchasing the add-on subscription.
However, once you’ve used all your complimentary Notion AI responses, you will see a message that a Notion AI add-on subscription is necessary to continue using AI features. You’ll then need to purchase the Notion AI add on.
The Notion AI add-on costs $8 per member / month for users choosing the annual plan (an additional $96 per year) if you already have a paid Notion account.
If you have a paid Notion plan and choose to purchase the Notion AI add-on but pay with monthly billing, or decide to keep your free Notion account and only upgrade to receive Notion AI, you will be charged $10 per member / month ($120 per year).

How Can Writers Use Notion AI?

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Having experimented with Notion AI (both as an early beta tester and using the plan currently available to all users), here are some of the top use cases demonstrating the value of Notion AI for writers:
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1. Summarizing Written Content

Notion AI offers an easy to use, one click command, that automatically summarizes a portion of text highlighted.
For the purposes of this example, I entered the text of a recent WSJ article, Fed Minutes Show Most Officials Favored Quarter-Point Rate Rise.
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The original article text is listed below:
Most Federal Reserve officials thought slowing the pace of interest-rate increases at their meeting three weeks ago offered the best way to balance the risks of doing too much or too little to combat inflation, but some warned against the hazards of slowing or stopping rate increases too soon.
“A number of participants observed that a policy stance that proved to be insufficiently restrictive could halt recent progress in moderating inflationary pressures,” said the minutes of the Jan. 31-Feb. 1 meeting, released Wednesday.
Fed officials unanimously approved raising their benchmark federal-funds rate by a quarter percentage point to a range between 4.5% and 4.75% on Feb. 1. That increase followed six larger increases, including a half percentage point in December.
Reserve Chair Jerome Powell said Wednesday the central bank will raise interest rates a quarter-percentage-point. Powell said more increases will likely be needed to continue lowering inflation.
The minutes of the gathering said that “almost all participants agreed that it was appropriate” to raise rates by a quarter point, or 25 basis points. Many of these officials “observed that a further slowing in the pace of rate increases would better allow them to assess the economy’s progress… as they determine the extent of future policy tightening,” the minutes said.
But a few participants favored or would have also agreed to a larger half-point move, the minutes said. “The participants favoring a 50-basis-point increase noted that a larger increase would more quickly bring the target range close to the levels they believed would achieve a sufficiently restrictive stance,” the minutes said.
Their discussion suggested another increase of a quarter point was likely at their next meeting on March 21-22. Since then, new data indicated stronger economic activity and slower progress on inflation than previously expected, which could keep the Fed raising rates longer than anticipated before the latest reports.
At the time of the recent meeting, Fed Chair Jerome Powell was facing increasing skepticism from investors over whether the central bank would continue raising rates because economic activity had been mixed around year’s end, with signs that consumer spending had moderated and weakness in the hard-hit housing sector was spreading to manufacturing. Investors were also anticipating rate cuts later this year.
The Fed raises rates to combat inflation by slowing the economy through tighter financial conditions—such as higher borrowing costs, lower stock prices and a stronger dollar—that curb demand.
Most Fed officials projected in December that they would raise the fed-funds rate to 5.1% this year, which would imply quarter-point rate increases at their next two meetings, in March and May. More than a third of officials anticipated lifting the rate above 5.25%. No officials projected rate cuts this year.
Some officials at the meeting observed that any continued easing in financial conditions could require the Fed to raise rates to higher levels or keep them at higher levels for longer than anticipated.
In the three weeks since they met, fresh U.S. economic reports showed that hiring and retail spending surged in January. The unemployment rate fell to 3.4%, a 53-year low, surprising economists who have long anticipated that Fed rate increases would slow economic growth soon. Economic growth also has rebounded in Europe, further easing worries of a global recession this year.
As a result, investors now expect the Fed to lift the fed-funds rate to around 5.4% in June–more than central bank officials had projected in December.
Inflation’s swift decline late last year also stalled in January. The 12-month inflation rate edged down to 6.4% last month from 6.5% in December and a recent high of 9.1% in June, according to the Labor Department. The department’s widely followed gauge, the consumer-price index, rose a sturdy 0.5% in January from the month before, a sign of still strong price pressures.
Two Fed presidents said last week they would have supported a larger half-point rate rise at the last meeting, rather than the quarter-point increase approved. One of them, Cleveland Fed President Loretta Mester, said officials aren’t limited to quarter-point steps. “We can move faster, and we can do bigger [increases] at any particular meeting.”
St. Louis Fed President James Bullard also said he would support moving as quickly as possible to raise the fed-funds rate to 5.4%. “I don’t see much merit in delaying our approach to that level,” he told reporters last week.
Most other Fed officials have expressed a preference for quarter-point increases. Richmond Fed President Tom Barkin told reporters last week he liked that approach “because I believe it gives us the flexibility to respond” depending on how the economy evolves.
Mr. Barkin said he didn’t favor moving rapidly to an estimated peak rate before pausing because he isn’t confident the central bank can gauge how much its past rate moves are slowing the economy. “That theory, to me, requires more confidence in understanding” the effectiveness of tighter rate policy “than I have,” he said.
Overall inflation had slowed in recent months largely because of falling prices of energy and other goods. Large increases in housing costs have slowed, but haven’t yet filtered through to official price gauges. Mr. Powell has nevertheless justified continued rate increases by pointing to still-tight labor markets, elevated wage pressures and high inflation for labor-intensive services.
Mr. Barkin noted the surprising strength in January spending and hiring, but said he wasn’t ready to substantially revise his economic outlook because of the potential for unusual seasonal volatility, including a longer holiday spending season in the fourth quarter, warmer weather and changes in how employers are managing their staffing given recent difficulties hiring workers.
Investors’ shifting expectations about the Fed could already be helping the central bank because interest-rate policies work through financial markets. Changes to the anticipated trajectory of rates, and not just what the Fed does at any meeting, can influence broader financial conditions.
Since November, anticipation of a milder interest-rate path led financial conditions to ease somewhat after tightening substantially last year. The average 30-year fixed mortgage rate, for example, jumped from 4% one year ago to 7% in November. It then edged lower, to around 6% earlier this month.
Over the past two weeks, however, financial conditions have tightened again as investors anticipate an interval of higher short-term interest rates. Mortgage lenders have reported rates are returning back to 7% in recent days.
After a few seconds, Notion AI generated the following text summarizing the article:
The minutes of the Jan. 31-Feb. 1 meeting of the Federal Reserve show that most officials favored slowing the pace of interest-rate increases to balance the risks of doing too much or too little to combat inflation. However, some warned against slowing or stopping rate increases too soon. The minutes also suggest that another increase of a quarter point is likely at the next meeting on March 21-22. Fresh U.S. economic reports showed that hiring and retail spending surged in January, which could keep the Fed raising rates longer than anticipated before the latest reports.
Investors’ expectations about the Fed could already be helping the central bank, as interest-rate policies work through financial markets. Changes to the anticipated trajectory of rates, and not just what the Fed does at any meeting, can influence broader financial conditions. Since November, anticipation of a milder interest-rate path led financial conditions to ease somewhat after tightening substantially last year.
Over the past two weeks, however, financial conditions have tightened again as investors anticipate an interval of higher short-term interest rates. Mortgage lenders have reported rates are returning back to 7% in recent days. Two Fed presidents said last week they would have supported a larger half-point rate rise at the last meeting, rather than the quarter-point increase approved.
St. Louis Fed President James Bullard also said he would support moving as quickly as possible to raise the fed-funds rate to 5.4%. Most other Fed officials have expressed a preference for quarter-point increases, as they believe it gives them the flexibility to respond depending on how the economy evolves.
Overall inflation had slowed in recent months largely because of falling prices of energy and other goods, but large increases in housing costs have slowed, but haven’t yet filtered through to official price gauges. Mr. Powell has nevertheless justified continued rate increases by pointing to still-tight labor markets, elevated wage pressures, and high inflation for labor-intensive services.
While not perfect, this is a really good summarization of a complex article/topic. And the Notion AI tool also provided options for further editing this text, including making the summary longer, rewriting the entire summary, or replacing a section of the article.

2. Changing Tone of Text

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Another great feature of Notion AI is its ability to change the tone of text.
For example, I used the following excerpt from a Washington Post article on winter weather:
A strong, intensifying storm system continued its trek across the Lower 48 early Wednesday, unleashing high-impact winter weather that could cause widespread power outages and grind travel to a halt. At least 75 million Americans are under winter storm, ice storm, blizzard warnings or winter weather advisories.
In addition to hefty precipitation in much of the Midwest and parts of the Plains, there could also be snow in notably low elevations — including in areas that rarely see measurable snowfall. Even the Los Angeles County mountains are included in a rare blizzard warning — the first issued by the National Weather Service office there since 1989. Snow levels could descend to below 1,000 feet elevation as extreme anomalous cold at high altitudes whips up a serious elevation storm.
That same lobe of frigid air aloft is also spawning a surface low that’s marching across the country. Over the Upper Midwest and the northern Plains, up to two feet of snow could fall in what the National Weather Service office in Minneapolis is calling a historic winter storm. It could prove to be a top-5 event in the Twin Cities, where blizzard warnings slice through the metro.
On the southern fringe of the snowfall, mild air a mile above the ground will favor freezing rain, with a quarter- to a half-inch of ice accumulation, or glaze, possible in some areas. Parts of the Corn Belt and Michigan are expected to be hardest hit, including places like Dubuque and Cedar Rapids, Iowa, or Lansing, Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor in Michigan.
The storm should finish its cross-country assault in the Northeast late Thursday into Friday, where additional winter storm warnings are in effect for northern New York, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.
I then used the Notion AI change tone function, and selected the “casual option”:
The Notion AI tool then quickly generated the following text:
Wowza, we’ve got a major storm system heading across the US of A, bringing some serious winter weather that could knock out power and put a stop to travel plans. That’s no joke, folks! It looks like around 75 million Americans are under winter storm, ice storm, blizzard warnings or winter weather advisories, so you know this is serious business.
And get this, it’s not just heavy precipitation we’re talking about – parts of the Midwest and Plains could get snow, and we’re talking about areas that don’t usually see snowfall. The Los Angeles County mountains are even included in a rare blizzard warning – the first one issued by the National Weather Service office there in over 30 years! The snow could even come down to below 1,000 feet elevation. Yikes!
There’s a lobe of frigid air up high that’s causing all of this, and it’s also spawning a surface low that’s going across the country. In the Upper Midwest and the northern Plains, we’re talking up to two feet of snow in what the National Weather Service office in Minneapolis is calling a historic winter storm. That’s right, it could be a top-5 event in the Twin Cities, where blizzard warnings are all over the place.
On the southern edge of the snowfall, freezing rain is likely, and some areas could see a quarter- to a half-inch of ice accumulation. The Corn Belt and Michigan are expected to be hit hard, including places like Dubuque and Cedar Rapids, Iowa, or Lansing, Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor in Michigan.
This storm is going to finish up with a bang in the Northeast late Thursday into Friday, where more winter storm warnings are in effect for northern New York, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine. Stay safe out there, folks!
While perhaps a bit over the top, it definitely demonstrates the AI tools ability to create content using different tones.

3. Writing Social Media Posts

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While the previous two use cases demonstrate the Notion AI tool’s ability to synthesize and mimic different forms of text, this next example shows its power to create text based off of very short prompts. Specifically, how it can quickly generate social media posts.
I selected the option from the Notion AI menu to write a social media post. It asked for me to enter a prompt to complete this sentence:
Write a social media post about_____________
And I simply entered “spring cleaning.”
In response, it generated the following social media post (including the hashtags):
Spring is here and it’s time for some cleaning! Whether it’s decluttering your home, organizing your closet, or deep cleaning those hard-to-reach areas, now is the perfect time to get started. A little bit of cleaning can go a long way in making your space feel refreshed and renewed. Don’t forget to donate any items you no longer need to charity or recycle them responsibly. Let’s all welcome spring with a clean and organized home!
#springcleaning #declutter #organization #cleanhome #refreshed #renewed #donate #recycle
While not perfect, I didn’t give the AI tool much information, so I was fairly impressed with this output.

4. Writing a Blog Post

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Similar to the last use case, I wanted to further text the Notion AI tool’s ability to generate written content. So I selected the “write a blog post” option and entered the following prompt:
The tool generated the following blog post:

The Benefits of Jogging

Introduction

Jogging is a popular form of exercise that has numerous benefits for both physical and mental health. It is a low-impact exercise that can be done anytime and anywhere, making it a convenient choice for people of all ages and fitness levels. Jogging is also an affordable form of exercise, as it requires no special equipment or membership fees. In this blog post, we will discuss some of the benefits of jogging and how it can improve your overall health and well-being.

Physical Benefits

Jogging is an excellent way to improve cardiovascular health. It helps to strengthen the heart and lungs, lowers blood pressure, and reduces the risk of heart disease. Jogging also helps to build endurance and increase stamina, which can improve athletic performance in other activities.
In addition to its cardiovascular benefits, jogging can also help with weight loss and weight management. It is an effective way to burn calories and boost metabolism, which can help to shed excess pounds and maintain a healthy weight. Jogging also helps to build muscle and tone the body, giving you a leaner and more sculpted appearance.
Jogging is also good for bone health. It helps to strengthen bones and prevent osteoporosis, a condition that causes bones to become brittle and weak. Regular jogging can also improve joint health and flexibility, reducing the risk of injury and improving overall mobility.

Mental Benefits

Jogging is not just good for physical health, it also has many mental health benefits. It is an excellent way to reduce stress and anxiety, as it releases endorphins that promote feelings of happiness and relaxation. Jogging can also boost self-esteem and confidence, helping to improve overall mood and well-being.
Regular jogging can also improve cognitive function and brain health. It has been shown to improve memory, concentration, and overall brain function, reducing the risk of cognitive decline and dementia in later life. Jogging can also help to improve sleep quality, which is essential for overall health and well-being.

Social Benefits

Jogging can also provide social benefits, as it can be a great way to meet new people and make friends. Joining a jogging group or running club can provide a supportive and motivating environment, where you can connect with other like-minded individuals who share your passion for jogging.

Getting Started with Jogging

If you are new to jogging, it is important to start slowly and gradually build up your endurance. Begin with short, easy runs and gradually increase the distance and intensity over time. It is also important to wear proper shoes and clothing to prevent injury and ensure comfort while jogging.
To make jogging more enjoyable, try listening to music or a podcast while you run. You can also join a jogging group or find a jogging buddy to keep you motivated and accountable.

Conclusion

In conclusion, jogging is an excellent form of exercise that can benefit both physical and mental health. It can improve cardiovascular health, aid in weight management, strengthen bones and joints, reduce stress and anxiety, boost self-esteem and confidence, and improve cognitive function and brain health. Jogging can also provide social benefits, making it a great way to meet new people and make friends. If you are looking for an easy and convenient way to improve your health and well-being, jogging is a great place to start. So put on your running shoes, hit the pavement, and enjoy the many benefits of this simple yet effective form of exercise.
Overall, I was very impressed with how quickly it generated this grammatically correct and well written blog post. It’s worth noting that once the Notion AI tool finishes generating the text, there is a button you can click to make the article longer, which it also does with ease.

5. Finding Action Items

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Last, I wanted to test the “finding action items” tool. To do this, I found a publicly available copy of a county’s meeting minutes over their local water authority (see PDF here):
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I then ran the text through the AI tool, using the “find action items tool”:
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Notion AI generated the following:

• - [ ] Purchase hydrants to replace existing hydrants in the Pinebrook Water System
• - [ ] Complete the activation of the system, replacing the hydrants, and other miscellaneous punch list items to complete the Pinebrook Water Interconnection Project
• - [ ] Engage legal counsel to advise on the assignment from Global Foundries to Onsemi
• - [ ] Request a preliminary meeting with the Poughkeepsie Joint Water Board to discuss issues and concerns regarding the assignment from Global Foundries to Onsemi
• - [ ] Speak to the Deputy County Executive, Ron Hicks in regard to the request to assign the water sale agreement to Onsemi
• - [ ] Consider retaining auditors, RBT to review Onsemi’s financials
• - [ ] Follow up with Ron Haase, Rust & Co. about purchasing the Market Street Plant

Overall, I was very impressed with the ability of the AI tool to generate action items. Since many Notion users (students, office workers, etc.) use Notion for note taking, this seems like an extremely valuable feature.
Conclusion
The examples of Notion’s AI tool make a strong case for adding the Notion AI tool to your writer toolkit! And the examples above only represent a fraction of the total use cases. Notion is already one of the best productivity tools for bloggers, and the addition of Notion AI for writers further cements its place on this list!

“That’s Not Happening and It’s Good That It Is”

By Michael Anton July 26, 2021
Gaslighting getting you down? Feel like the regime has dialed the Megaphone up to, and past, eleven? You’re not crazy. It’s definitely happening and likely to get worse as our masters’ ability to cope with reality further worsens—or worse, they gain the complete and absolute control they seek. They’re both scornful and terrified of dissent, which explains why they incessantly shriek at us and lie to our faces.
So, to help you navigate the twitstorm, I present a guide to seven of the regime’s most common, oft-deployed lies. This is not meant to be comprehensive. I’m sure there are tactics they use that either I haven’t crystalized or that aren’t front-of-mind at the moment. I encourage others to expand the catalogue with their own observations. The better we can understand how they try to manipulate us, the better we can resist and counter it all.
Let’s start with the Unholy Trinity of ruling class horse manure. These first three are similar, but subtle differences determine the ways they’re used in differing circumstances.
The Law of Merited Impossibility
The coinage is Rod Dreher’s and goes back to the early debates on homosexual marriage. As Dreher formulates it, the Law of Merited Impossibility holds: “That will never happen, and when it does, boy will you [homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, whatever] deserve it.”
This Law is used, first, to disarm resistance to the latest leftist enthusiasm. Whatever the innovation is, it will have no adverse consequences. None! Puberty blockers and disfiguring surgeries have no downsides whatsoever. How dare you suggest they might!
Its second purpose is to dismiss out of hand “slippery slope” arguments—despite, or because of, the fact that every single such argument over the last twenty years at least has proved true. Worried that allowing people to “self-identify” as whatever sex they want will lead to pervy 50-year-old men exposing themselves to’ tween girls? Insist, loudly and indignantly, that that will NEVER happen and anyone who suggests it might is an alarmist bigot with a heart full of hate.
The third purpose is to enforce the new caste system. Those who get to impose fresh irrational indignities on the rest of us are the upper caste. Those who object, or even have reservations, are lower. The latter are not allowed to harbor, much less express, any doubts. Whatever humiliation the upper caste has planned for us, we deserve and must meekly accept. Hence when said pervy 50-year-old actually does start waving around “her” equipment in the girls’ locker room, if any parent dares object, let ’em have it with both barrels. That thing that ten seconds ago you said would “never” happen? Now it’s righteous punishment for the retrograde.
The Law of Merited Impossibility has done wonders for the Left in helping to ram through a wide variety of radical societal changes and cow into silence all opposition. It’s currently busy destroying girls’ and women’s sports, an outcome that we were assured would “never” happen. Though one wonders what the ladies did do to deserve it.
The Law is a bit passé, though, because our rulers rarely any longer feel the need to reassure normie Americans that everything will turn out OK, that the things we most fear won’t happen. Mostly, the holders of the Megaphone just skip to the second half, the angry insistence that we deserve it
The Celebration Parallax
A parallax is the apparent difference in position of the same object seen from different vantage points. For instance, an analogue speedometer that reads sixty miles per hour to the driver, but fifty to the passenger—even though the needle itself is only in one place.
The Celebration Parallax may be stated as: “the same fact pattern is either true and glorious or false and scurrilous depending on who states it.” In contemporary speech, on any “controversial” topic—or, to say better, regime priority—the decisive factor is the intent of the speaker. If she can be presumed to be celebrating the phenomenon under discussion, she may shout her approval from the rooftops. If not, he better shut up before someone comes along to shut him up.
Note also that the key distinction here is celebration versus non-celebration, not support versus opposition. One need not actually, clearly oppose the subject under discussion in order to be blameworthy. Declining or neglecting to celebrate it forcefully enough is enough. As in Stalin’s Russia, lack of enthusiastic clapping is regarded as opposition. The legitimacy of one’s right to state the same identical fact, in the same identical language, depends on who one is and what one thinks of it. Since the left presumes that all persons of color approve of the phenomena covered by the Celebration Parallax, the Parallax is really a test to distinguish allies from Deplorables.
To the best of my recollection, the origin of the Celebration Parallax arose from the need to defend “affirmative action,” a very unpopular policy since its inception. The party line therefore goes like this: People of color must be granted explicit preferences to overcome America’s “legacy of racism” so that we may “diversify” America’s power centers and end white male dominance, a move that—in addition to being necessary to address the country’s inherent racism—improves those institutions by infusing them with different and hitherto neglected points of view. Also, kids of color need “role models” who “look like themselves.”
But there is no such thing as “reverse discrimination,” which is itself a racist term, and there are no “quotas” (another racist term) whatsoever, but only “timetables,” “goals,” and measures to evaluate applicants and candidates “holistically.”
On no subject is the Parallax more prevalent than immigration. Depending on who’s doing the talking, the demographic transformation of the United States is either a glorious trend that portends a permanent Democratic majority and a more “vibrant” future, or else a “conspiracy theory” that is not happening in any way at all, no-how.
The Left insists that concerns from certain quarters that immigration policy in America (and Europe) amounts to a “great replacement” is a “dangerous,” “evil,” “racist,” “false” “conspiracy theory.” But a leftist New York Times columnist can write an article entitled “We Can Replace Them” and . . . nothing. [Redditor’s note: Michelle Goldberg calls for politically dispossessing white nationalists, not displacing white Americans from America.] Same fundamental point, except she’s all for it and her targets aren’t. A U.S. Senator can exult that demographic change will doom Republicans. [That is a link to a more or less openly white nationalist website.] Joe Biden himself can refer to an “unrelenting stream of immigration.” Except they’re celebrating it and calling for it. Anyone on the Right who uses the exact same words will not merely be denounced; the very fact pattern that is affirmed when Biden says it will be denied when the Rightist repeats it.
The Law of Salutary Contradiction
Which brings us to the Law of Salutary Contradiction, whose formulation is: “That’s not happening and it’s good that it is.” While the Law of Merited Impossibility applies to the future, this one is about the present. It’s what the ruling class immediately switches to after what they insisted would “never” happen is happening before everyone’s eyes.
Is the NSA spying on Tucker Carlson? That’s an insane conspiracy theory . . . which is also warranted by Tucker’s treasonous contacts with Russian officials as he seeks an interview with Putin.
Is the Biden Administration inviting in illegal immigrants, then putting them on military planes and shipping them to the heartland? Absolutely not . . . and these future Nobel Prize winners deserve their shot at the American Dream.
Once you learn to recognize this pattern, you see it everywhere. It is the cornerstone of ruling class rhetoric in the current year.
The Smails Exhortation
Turning from the Unholy Trinity, we see that the ruling class condemns all of us as entitled boors. In their eyes, we deserve nothing. We have no reasonable wants nor any just complaints. Our only role is to accept getting nothing and learning to like it.
Our masters bleat about “democracy” but have redefined the word to mean “getting exactly what we”—i.e., they—“want.” Any ostensibly “democratic” outcome that might result in us getting what we want is ipso facto illegitimate. Border wall? Fascist! Immigration enforcement? Racist and fascist! Law and order? Double racist and fascist! Better trade deals? Economically illiterate! An end to endless wars? Catastrophic! And also, somehow, “anti-Semitic.” Penis-free girls’ bathrooms? Transphobic!
No matter is too small, too local, too private, or too inconsequential to escape their gaze and slip their punishment. Bake the cake, bigot.
Mostly what they bleat, though, is anti-American, anti-white, anti-conservative, anti-Christian, anti-rural, anti-Southern, anti-Red-state, anti-redneck, anti-working-class hate. Every media organ and cultural citadel blares this message loudly and incessantly.
The purpose is hard to figure. On one hand, it’s demoralizing, which certainly serves ruling class ends, and it fires up their coalition. On the other hand, if you’re trying to boil a frog, it’s best not to tell him the plan, as he might try to jump out of the pot.
Which brings us to:
The Lie-Back Imperative
This tactic, and the next one, are related to what Steve Sailer has called “The War on Noticing.” [Steve Sailer is a white supremacist.]
The regime knows it’s in a difficult rhetorical position. The heart of its argument is that some people are inherently innocent and good while others are inherently guilty and bad and must be treated accordingly. To ears insufficiently attuned to this new understanding of justice, this can sound unjust. Tying moral worth to circumstances of birth? Nottreating people equally? Punishing the living for the sins of the dead?
Why all this is—contrary to appearances, logic, and common sense—“just” requires considerable explanation. To the extent that people “get it,” they will sharply divide between those who say that the “advantaged” have it coming and those who object “No, I don’t.”
The problem for the regime, therefore, is that while its message is very effective at egging on its own side, it can be equally effective at alarming and rousing its targets. The ideal solution would be to come up with a public message that rallies the regime’s base while lulling its targets, but this turns out to be very difficult, if not impossible.
Another option is to forbid the targets from speaking up—hence the Celebration Parallax.
But the regime’s preferred mode is not merely to allow its targets to speak, but to require it—so long as the targets deny the regime apparatchik said what she said. Hence the response to “You are evil and deserve what’s coming to you” must be “You don’t think ill of me and wish me no harm.” Every punch in the face must be publicly rationalized, by the victim, as a massage. The purpose is partly to bully the frog into staying in the pot and partly a matter of humiliation. In the oft-quoted words of Anthony Daniels, “a society of emasculated liars is easy to control.”
A great many “conservatives” are not merely willing but eager to play along. Indeed, whole institutions of the establishment “Right” do little else but reassure their ostensible constituency that the Left not only doesn’t mean its proto-genocidal rhetoric but isn’t even saying it.
It is an odd feature of the current year that calling an avowed enemy a liar—publicly insisting that her plain words could not possibly mean what they plainly say—not only fails to provoke an angry denial but is welcomed by the liar herself. Anything to keep the regime’s targets somnambulant for as long as possible. The more Americans who wake up and realize that contemporary leftism is a revenge plot with themselves as its targets, the more will object and try to stop it. This is what the regime, at present, most fears and is trying to prevent.
The Enmity Counteraccusation
This one is perhaps the most brazen. As I put it elsewhere, “the enemy calls you its enemy for recognizing its enmity.”
As regime hacks spew vile, borderline—and sometimes explicitly—violent rhetoric at you, they will immediately wheel and counterattack if you dare object. [Some guy on Twitter suggested Mr. Anton get the rope for predicting that George Soros would initiate a coup against the Trump administration ahead of the 2020 election.] Don’t appreciate being called evil because of your race? Then you are “divisive”! Dare put up your hands to block an incoming punch? That’s violence! You’re just supposed to take it.
They’re enemies who treat you like enemies while they insist that you treat them as friends. At least, though, unlike the housebroken “Right,” they stab you in the front.
A related point is that if you so much as speculate as to where their insane vitriol might lead the country, you will be accused of wishing for that outcome. It’s entirely possible that decades of anti-American, anti-white, anti-Christian animosity, coupled with nation-destroying trade, immigration and foreign policies, will not lead to civil war. Then again, it’s entirely possible that they might. If they do, the ruling class and the Left will bear the blame. Naturally, though, they will blame us.
Indeed, they already are. Attempts to head off such a conflict by warning about it are treated as provocations intended to produce said conflict. One can be forgiven for wondering if their plan is to start it and then say we started it, sort of like insisting Poland triggered the Second World War by shooting back.
“You’re worthless, baby; and if you even think of trying to leave me, I’ll kill you”
Which brings us to the last. Deplorable Americans are loudly and incessantly said to be the worst people in the history of the planet, pure unadulterated evil, with no legitimate concerns, interests or grievances.
Well, OK. Then why live with us? Why treat as anathema even the most moderate, banal, attempt to allow some measure of federalism and local control?
There can only be two answers: either our masters know (or intuit) deep down that we can live without them but they can’t live without us, or else they want to keep us around to administer what they view as deserved punishment.
Being neither a psychiatrist nor a theologian, I could not say whether the roots of this behavior are psychotic or demonic, but in this layman’s judgement, it exhibits key characteristics of both.
But understand this: they hate you and want you cancelled and ostracized, or at least utterly subservient and obedient. You owe them no consideration. Their every argument, every sentence, every word are proffered in bad faith. As Mary McCarthy said of Lilian Hellman, “Every word she writes is a lie—including ‘and’ and ‘the.’”
The regime is powerful, which means we must calibrate our resistance carefully. But to think clearly, our minds must be free. Which requires understanding its rhetoric and seeing through it. I hope this short guide is useful in that effort.

Main hub thread with the full 131 rankings
Ball State comes in at one spot above in-state foe Indiana. and is the 3rd best program in the state behind Notre Dame and Purdue. Moving up to the FBS in 1975, Ball State’s had an underrated tenure, going 269-279-4 with 6 conference championships, 9 bowl appearances, and 11 weeks in the AP Top 25.

Best Seasons and Highlights

1. 2020: 10. Ball State: 7-1 (29.151) 2. 2008: 23. Ball State: 12-2 (19.624) 3. 2013: 43. Ball State: 10-3 (7.413) 4. 1988: 32. Ball State: 8-3 (7.382) 5. 2012: 41. Ball State: 9-4 (5.166) 6. 1989: 36. Ball State: 7-3-2 (4.173) 7. 1996: 36. Ball State: 8-4 (-0.777) 8. 1995: 47. Ball State: 7-4 (-1.286) 9. 1993: 35. Ball State: 8-3-1 (-1.292) 10. 1990: 51. Ball State: 7-4 (-5.881) 11. 1994: 59. Ball State: 5-5-1 (-11.641) 12. 2007: 67. Ball State: 7-6 (-11.913) 13. 1991: 58. Ball State: 6-5 (-12.407) 14. 1986: 67. Ball State: 6-5 (-15.698) 15. 1983: 69. Ball State: 6-5 (-18.520) 16. 1997: 71. Ball State: 5-6 (-19.737) 17. 2011: 81. Ball State: 6-6 (-19.965) 18. 2001: 78. Ball State: 5-6 (-20.533) 19. 1992: 75. Ball State: 5-6 (-20.690) 20. 2021: 87. Ball State: 6-7 (-21.746) 21. 2002: 72. Ball State: 6-6 (-21.776) 22. 2019: 87. Ball State: 5-7 (-22.103) 23. 2006: 76. Ball State: 5-7 (-22.140) 24. 2014: 90. Ball State: 5-7 (-24.446) 25. 2022: 98. Ball State: 5-7 (-25.017) 26. 2000: 81. Ball State: 5-6 (-25.264) 27. 1987: 80. Ball State: 4-7 (-27.212) 28. 2005: 97. Ball State: 4-7 (-30.054) 29. 2003: 91. Ball State: 4-8 (-32.432) 30. 1985: 86. Ball State: 4-7 (-33.751) 31. 2016: 102. Ball State: 4-8 (-35.128) 32. 2010: 104. Ball State: 4-8 (-40.296) 33. 2018: 108. Ball State: 4-8 (-40.344) 34. 1984: 91. Ball State: 3-8 (-40.722) 35. 2015: 111. Ball State: 3-9 (-45.086) 36. 2009: 109. Ball State: 2-10 (-48.654) 37. 2004: 110. Ball State: 2-9 (-50.524) 38. 1998: 109. Ball State: 1-10 (-59.094) 39. 2017: 127. Ball State: 2-10 (-62.173) 40. 1999: 113. Ball State: 0-11 (-70.806) Overall Score: 8230 (89th) 

• 212-248-4 record
• 4 conference titles
• 1-8 bowl record
• 2 consensus All-Americans
• 13 NFL players drafted

Ball State has been pretty consistent, with 26 of their 40 seasons since 1983 having 5+ wins. 4 conference titles is also not bad—3 came between 1989-96, arguably Ball State’s peak with 7 of those 8 years falling into the top 13 seasons in the chart above. It took them 46 years to win their first bowl game, failing on the first 7 tries before finally winning in 2020! Ball State’s 2 consensus All-Americans? 1 person—Brad Maynard, punter. Maynard averaged 46.5 and 45.8 yards per punt in 1995 and 1996, respectively. He was drafted in the 3rd round of the 1997 NFL Draft, and would go on to be the Bears’ punter from 2001-10.

Top 5 Seasons

Worst Season: 1999 (0-11 overall, 0-8 MAC)
While the world worried about the Y2K meltdown, Ball State worried about their program melting down. Going just 1-21 from 1998-99, 2 of their 3 worst seasons on this list, the program reached lows it had never seen. Coach Bill Lynch was an Indiana die-hard—he was born in Indianapolis, went to Butler, and since starting his coaching career in 1977, has only spent 2 years coaching outside the state of Indiana. This was Lynch’s 5th season with Ball State. While they weren’t getting manhandled (only one 30+ point loss) like some winless teams have, they weren’t particularly close to getting a win either (only 1 one-possession loss). They averaged 14.3 PPG while giving up 32.8 PPG, and were my 2nd worst team in the nation. Kicker Thomas Pucke was impressively inept, hitting just 2 of 8 FGs. He managed to hang around for 2 more years and convert 6 of 15 for a 4 year total of 12/31 on FGs for a 38.7 FG%.
5. 2012 (9-4 overall, 6-2 MAC)
The Ball State Football youtube channel put out a fantastic 15 minute recap of the 2012 season. Coming off a 6-6 year, there was momentum heading into 2012, but uncertainty with losing their top 2 WRs and an unproven defense. The year started with a bang, recording a school record 36 first downs against Eastern Michigan in a season-opening 37-26 win. Indiana took a 39-38 lead with 50 seconds to go in week 3—just enough time for QB Keith Wenning and kicker Steven Schott, who hit a 42 yard FG as time expired for the 41-39 Ball State win. Ball State got their second win over a Power 6 opponent the following week, beating South Florida 31-27 on another late win, this time Wenning to WR Willie Snead. After going back and forth with MAC competition, 6-3 Ball State headed to the Glass Bowl on election night to face #23 Toledo. Ball State rose to the occasion with another last minute TD to win 34-27. A 52-27 win over formerly-ranked Ohio, who had beaten Penn State to start the year, proved even more impressive. Ball State finished the regular season 9-3, with a loss to C-USA runner-up Blake Bortles and UCF in the bowl.
Ball State led the MAC with 15 all-conference selections. QB Keith Wenning threw for 3095 yards, with 24 TD and 10 INT, earning 2nd Team All-MAC. RB Jahwan Edwards had a monster year with 1410 rushing yards and 14 TD on 6.1 YPC, but only made 3rd team in a stacked MAC RB class. WRs Willie Snead, Jamill Smith, and TE Zane Fakes were all 1st Team MAC. Kicker Steven Schott was a Lou Groza Award semifinalist, going 25/32 on FGs, and punter Scott Kovanda was a Ray Guy Award finalist.
4. 1988 (8-3 overall, 5-3 MAC)
While 2012 was an offensive explosion, 1988 was about defense, boasting one of the best in the country. 1988 Ball State gave up just 15.5 PPG, while scoring 26.0 PPG. After a 7-1 (5-1 MAC) start, Ball State played Western Michigan (7-1, 5-0) for first place in the conference. Western Michigan took it in a 16-13 dogfight, and it wouldn’t matter much anyway, as Ball State dropped their last conference game 25-27 to Ohio. Back then, Ball State had an annual rivalry against Indiana State for the Blue Key Victory Bell, and the Cardinals got revenge for ISU’s 24-23 upset the year prior, winning 24-10. The most points Ball State gave up all season was just 27, and held opponents to 20 or less in every other game.
3. 2013 (10-3 overall, 7-1 MAC)
Picking up where we left off in 2012, Ball State returned Wenning, Edwards, Snead, Fakes, so this team had a lot of potential. Early wins included 31-24 over traditional MAC power Toledo, and 48-27 over Virginia, who had given up just 16 points or less in 3 of their first 4 games. Ball State lived up to the hype—and then some. Blowout wins over Western Michigan, Akron, and Central Michigan took them all the way to 8-1, setting up a matchup with 9-0 #20 Northern Illinois in the premier MAC game of the season. The winner would clinch a spot in the MAC title game, Ball State looking for their first title in 17 years. They went back and forth—deadlocked at 27-27 with 6 minutes left, NIU QB Jordan Lynch fired a 36 yard TD to take the lead, and a few garbage time scores gave NIU a nice looking 48-27 victory that was much closer than the score suggested. Ball State took out their anger on a hapless 0-11 Miami (OH) team to end the year, winning 55-14. Still looking for their first bowl win ever, they came as close as they’ve ever come, giving up a TD with 30 seconds left to lose 23-20 to Arkansas State. Still—an insane year for Ball State, winning 10+ games for just the 3rd time in school history. QB Keith Wenning threw for 4148 yards 35 TD 7 INT, ranking 6th in the nation in passing yards and TDs. RB Jahwan Edwards had his 2nd of 3 1000+ yard seasons, going for 1110 and 14 TD. He’d finish his career as Ball State’s all-time leading rusher a year later with 4558 yards and 51 TD. WR Willie Snead had the capstone of his college career with 106 catches for 1516 yards and 15 TD, ranking 3rd in the NCAA in receiving yards and TD. The 6’3 228 lb Jordan Williams proved to be a very good WR2 with 1000+ receiving yards, and would go on to have 200 catches for 2723 yards and 23 TD in his career, top 6 in school history in all of those categories. Wenning was a 6th round NFL Draft selection, and Snead went on to have a solid NFL career.
2. 2008 (12-2 overall, 8-0 MAC)
The 2008 team took the nation by storm. Ball State returned their all-conference QB, WR, TE, and 8 starters on defense from a 7 win team the previous season. Right away, with a week 2 35-23 win over Navy, they proved the prevous season’s win over them wasn’t a fluke. 2 weeks later, they’d make history, beating Indiana 42-20 in the program’s first ever win over a BCS team. Did they stop there? Nope. 3 weeks later they were 7-0, and #22 in the country. This was a great year for non-BCS teams, with Boise State and Utah also going unbeaten in the regular season. The beatings continued, as Ball State kept surprising everyone—38-16 over Eastern Michigan, 45-14 over NIU. Late in the year, #16 9-0 Ball State faced their toughest test of the season, heading north to play 8-2 preseason conference favorite Central Michigan. Down 7 points in the 4th quarter, QB Nate Davis guided the Cardinals back to a 31-24 lead, and a late interception sealed the deal. Ball State still hadn’t secured the MAC title game until the final week, where they beat 9-2 Western Michigan 45-22. Into the MAC championship we go. #12 Ball State was an overwhelming 15 point favorite over 7-5 Buffalo, who was just happy to be there. Ball State’s dream matchup quickly turned into a nightmare. Buffalo had 92 and 74 yard fumble returns for TDs, cruising to a 42-24 upset victory in which they were outgained by 200+ yards. Brady Hoke took the job at San Diego State, and a dejected interim-coached team got blown out 45-14 by Tulsa in the bowl.
QB Nate Davis, the original 2-gloved QB before Teddy “2 glove” Bridgewater was a thing, completed his illustrious college career, throwing for 3591 yards 26 TD 8 INT, leading the MAC in passer rating for the 3rd straight year, and winning 2008 MAC OPOTY. The 5’6 184 lb RB MiQuale Lewis was pound-for-pound one of the best players in college football, rushing for 1736 yards and 22 TD on 5.4 YPC, also racking up 325 receiving yards, ranking 2nd in the nation in yards from scrimmage and 1st in TDs. TE Darius Hill completed his career as one of the best TEs in MAC history, catching 40 passes for 670 yards and 7 TD to finish his career with 2473 yards and 31 TD. Unfortunately, WR Dante Love’s career came to an end 4 games into the season, one of Ball State’s best ever wideouts who caught 100 passes for 1398 yards and 10 TD in 2007. It was an amazing year for Ball State—but no hardware to show for it.
1. 2020 (7-1 overall, 5-1 MAC)
2008, or 2020 Ball State, who was better? The Ball State youtube channel(s) seriously make some of the best season recap videos of any school. After an opening 31-38 loss at Miami (OH), they were perfect the rest of the way. A 1-yard rushing TD with 6 seconds left secured a 38-31 win over Eastern Michigan to improve to 1-1. 2 weeks later, a 27-24 upset over Toledo improved them to 3-1. It was still a long season ahead with just a MAC schedule in a covid-shortened season, with the toughest games yet to come. A 45-20 road win over 3-1 Central Michigan thanks to 5 TD from QB Drew Plitt improved Ball State to 4-1, with 1 regular season game to go. This is where the 2020 team separated themselves from all other Ball State teams. Facing 4-1 Western Michigan with the winner going to the MAC championship game, Ball State was down 27-13 at the start of the 4th. After a 17-0 point 4th quarter, they had the lead with just seconds to go. Western Michigan tossing laterals around…OH THE ENTIRE BALL STATE TEAM IS ON THE FIELD!! And Western Michigan scores for the win!! Unbelievable!! It turns out though, one of the laterals was forward, and the refs award Ball State the victory. They go to the MAC championship game at 5-1!
Remember how 2008 Ball State came into the game 15 point favorites against Buffalo and lost? This time, the roles were reversed. Ball State came into the 2020 championship as 13 point underdogs to 5-0 Buffalo. And just like 2008, David slaid Goliath. Ball State took the MAC Championship 38-28, their first since 1996. But still, people hadn’t caught on. Ball State entered the Arizona Bowl as 6.5 point underdogs to #23 San Jose State. 35 minutes of game time later, and Ball State was up 34-0. When the final whistle sounded on a 34-13 bowl victory, it was the FIRST BOWL WIN IN BALL STATE HISTORY! While 2008 was a great year, 2020 takes the cake because they completed the quest of winning a conference title and bowl game. LB Brandon Martin was the MAC DPOTY, leading the conference in tackles with 90.

5th Quarter

Agree with Ball State’s ranking, ahead of in-state rival Indiana? What do you think of their program? Do you remember their 2008 and 2020 seasons?
If you appreciate the effort, please consider subscribing on substack!

Company Name	Title	City
Quad	Sales Representative	Big Bend
Brookfield, WI	Homemaker	Brookfield
Brookfield, WI	Fitting Room Attendant	Brookfield
Quad	Sales Representative	Burlington
Quad	Skilled Print Operators	Burlington
Quad	Sales Agent	Burlington
Quad	Pressman	Cedarburg
Quad	Sales Agent	Cedarburg
Forefront Dermatology	Histopathology Technician	Cleveland
Forefront Dermatology	Histotechnician	Cleveland
Delivery Drivers, Inc.	LTL Driver	Cumberland
Delivery Drivers, Inc.	Carryout	Cumberland
Delivery Drivers, Inc.	LTL Driver	Dallas
Quad	Machine Press Operator	Delafield
Penske Truck Leasing	Diesel Mechanic	Eau Claire
CleanPower , L.L.C.	Leaf Raker	Eau Claire
Stoughton Trailers, LLC	Material Control Foreman	Evansville
Oculus Search Partners	Refrigeration Technician	Fort Atkinson
Delaware North	Deli Cook	Green Bay
Kimberly-Clark	Sr. Electrical Engineer	Greenville
Quad	General Laborer	Horicon
GHR Travel Nursing	RN	Kenosha
ELITE DENTAL PARTNERS L	Dental Rover	Kenosha
ELITE DENTAL PARTNERS L	Hygiene Assistant	Kenosha
Quad	Sales Agent	Lebanon

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings , feel free to comment here if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

I've been stuck in my head since January. For added context, I met this girl on FetLife who for legal reasons we will call Terra, back in 2021. I was in South Bend during Ramencon looking for a hook up. I was lonely, and before you judge, my spouse at the time and I were swingers but going through a rough patch. My spouse at the time had asked me to be in an open relationship and up until that moment at the convention, I hadn't explored it.
Terra, who this story is about, ignored me at first because she was married and I respected that. I told her if she ever changed her mind to seek me out. Fast forward a few months later she starts commenting on my photos, liking and sharing my post. There was a Star Wars convention coming up in South Bend and I told her I would be in town. We met on March 26th, 2022. She was pregnant but wanted to hook up. It was only supposed to be a one night stand, I had not intentions of catching feelings. However when she came into the room, I felt an instant connection with her. My soul recognized hers. We sat on the bed, I gave her a massage and I asked her questions about herself to see if we were compatible. The sex was amazing, and we went a few rounds.
When we were done, I sat away from her for a bit. I asked when was the last time she was held? She paused and told me never. She told me her ex had abused her and that she was going to raise her son on her own. I respected this and stayed in my lane because I had a daughter at home. My daughter's mom and I were having a lot of issues. I spent time with my daughter throughout the week until I went to work. Some nights my child's mother would not come home until 5 AM the next morning. My child's mother allowed her mother, child's grandmother, to live with us for what was only supposed to be 3 to 6 months but this turned into almost 2 years until I finally had enough.
​
I would drive to South Bend every weekend starting from March 26th to see Terra. I was with her on her birthday April 4th, and wanted to surprise her, so I laid out flowers, went and got us food even though she refused to eat at first, and I got her a birthday Balloon. I had access to Daily Pay so I would withdraw part of my check to rent us a room and hang out. I was gentle with her because of the baby but she brought out this side of me I never knew I had. My bills were paid so I didn't think much of it.
​
I enjoyed our time together. It was like an escape from reality, but during one of our visits, I noticed she told me..."he's nice...I can use him."
I was put off by this statement, and I hesitated being around her because I didn't want her to think I was just some lonely sucker who would give her everything...except that was exactly what I was to her. She called me her dog who she could whistle and I would come running to. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Yet...despite everything I was falling in love with her.
​
It came to a time where I told my child's mother the truth. Even though she knew about the other woman, I admitted that I had fallen out of love with her and I was in love with this new woman who I felt completed me in ways she couldn't. I got very tired of the verbal and sometimes physical abuse from my child's mother, and I found comfort in this other woman who was always there, even getting to the point where while I was at Exxxotica for my birthday in 2022, all I could think about was Terra. She even surprised me and drove out to see me on my birthday.
​
My child's mother and I separated in June. I ended up on child support but Terra was there. It scared me to be this close to someone, because my intuition told me to keep my guard up. Then one day she told me she was only using me to speed up her birthing process and that she planned to ghost me once the baby was here...but that changed and she started to actually like me.
Feeling like this was too good to be true, I blocked her on everything, Facebook, Twitter, FetLife, Instagram...any means of contact she was gone. She text me and asked why? I told her I didn't want to get hurt. If she didn't want me in her life, I would leave to save us both the trouble. She told me she started to care so I gave her another chance. I was hesitant...we met up a few more times and she took me to see Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness in theaters. We went to a buffet and I felt this connection I had never felt before. It scared me...I felt like she would hurt me again and she admitted to being invited to a gangbang but left because she didn't want to hurt me.
I wanted to leave but I stayed. I told myself and her we could work it out so long as communication was open. I stopped entertaining other women, and aside from my daughter, she was the only woman who had my complete attention. I was never the only man. She went to Tennessee and we started binging Future Diary together. She told me she had another man she was into. Again I walked away believing I was a burden on her life. She told me...she didn't want to be in a relationship but she didn't want the sex to stop. I told her I was not ready for a relationship but despite the protest we were in some way still committed to one another for a period of time.
When she came back in town from Tennessee, I allowed Terra and her to stay with me. I enjoyed having her there despite the way she treated me at times. I didn't expect to come home to a clean house, or food on the counter. I asked why she did it? Bragged about her to my coworkers, and had nothing but love and respect for her. Except...the respect wasn't mutual. I would see her talking trash about me on social media and I would confront her. She told me it was nothing to worry about yet...I kept forgiving her. I knew I could find better but I only wanted her. We broke up on Christmas, she told me she didn't want to be together and I said okay. I stopped communicating with her, blocked contact, but she created another account and reached out to me. We agreed to just be friends and have sex but she was with another man. I refused to be second place to any man. I started noticing she post pictures in my apartment naked on my furniture. I asked her to remove them. She refused and stated if I posted them she would sue me for defamation of character despite constantly bashing me online when she swore up and down she didn't want people to know we were together. Terra had shown her true colors and it made me sick...yet I still had love for her. I remembered the good in her and believed she only acted out because of her environment. I was wrong.
I returned her things to her and in February, I saw Terra face to face. She asked if we could hang out still, and I told her she was welcomed as I retrieved my keys from her, when I came back for Valentine's Day, she laughed at me stating she didn't want to be seen with me. I felt I had wasted my time, money and energy and left her be. I woke up one morning to threats of a restraining order and she'd even threatened my life if I had tried to contact her again. I thought to myself how could I have been so stupid? I almost lost everything trying to hold on to her. When she left my life slowly got better but I still missed Terra. It was like Teen Titans, no matter what I said...no matter how often I tried I couldn't get through to her until I eventually just had to give up on her and move on which has been hard because a part of me still misses her.

Company Name	Title	City
Quad	Sales Representative	Big Bend
Brookfield, WI	Homemaker	Brookfield
Brookfield, WI	Fitting Room Attendant	Brookfield
Quad	Sales Representative	Burlington
Quad	Skilled Print Operators	Burlington
Quad	Sales Agent	Burlington
Quad	Pressman	Cedarburg
Quad	Sales Agent	Cedarburg
Forefront Dermatology	Histopathology Technician	Cleveland
Forefront Dermatology	Histotechnician	Cleveland
Delivery Drivers, Inc.	LTL Driver	Cumberland
Delivery Drivers, Inc.	Carryout	Cumberland
Delivery Drivers, Inc.	LTL Driver	Dallas
Quad	Machine Press Operator	Delafield
Penske Truck Leasing	Diesel Mechanic	Eau Claire
CleanPower , L.L.C.	Leaf Raker	Eau Claire
Stoughton Trailers, LLC	Material Control Foreman	Evansville
Oculus Search Partners	Refrigeration Technician	Fort Atkinson
Delaware North	Deli Cook	Green Bay
Kimberly-Clark	Sr. Electrical Engineer	Greenville
Quad	General Laborer	Horicon
GHR Travel Nursing	RN	Kenosha
ELITE DENTAL PARTNERS L	Dental Rover	Kenosha
ELITE DENTAL PARTNERS L	Hygiene Assistant	Kenosha
Quad	Sales Agent	Lebanon

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings , feel free to comment here if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Bienvenue au CMHoC ! - Rejoignez une parti ou enregistrez une parti - Fil de préouverture (mai-juillet)

La version française suit

Welcome to CMHoC!

We are a subreddit focusing on simulating most portions of Canadian Politics, especially Parliament Hill. Please read the below info and ask any questions that need answering.

The Basics:

• We operate a Simulated Parliament of Canada.
• We have a weekly Question Period for Cabinet Ministers and the Prime Minister.
• CMHoC has many user-run Press and Media organizations. These are found on CMHoCSimPress.
• MPs are elected, at maximum, every four months. Elections are conducted using a simulated system, rewarding activity and strong campaigning.
• Senators are appointed by the Prime Minister and serve a maximum term of one year.
• We have lots of political parties. We strongly suggest you join an existing party, as it will make getting involved in CMHoC easier and more fun.

Getting Started for New Players:

Check out the New Player’s Guide.

Becoming a CMHoC Member

Participation in the canon is open to all. However, to have a say in the running of this community, such as proposing changes to our rules, once you have started to participate in the simulation you can as a member join discussions and vote on CMHoCMeta.

Join a Party/Independent Grouping!

We currently have the following registered parties:

• Conservative Party of Canada (CPC) - Aphyllous - Discord
  
• Diadem Party of Canada (DPC) - TheVeryWetBanana - Discord
  

We currently have the following registered Independent Groupings:

• Juche Group (JP) - NewAccountMcGee - Discord
  
• Folks! Group (FG) - MasterEndlessRBLX - Discord
  
• Alberta National Group (ANG) - JaacTreee - Discord
  

If you wish to join the above parties, just leave a comment mentioning the name of the party. For example:

Hi, I would like to join the New Democratic Party.

Register a New Party!

While we strongly suggest you join an existing party, you can register your own party.
Requirements to Register a Party
To Register a Party, your application needs to meet the following requirements.

1. You must have at minimum 3 Party Members, all of whom must be CMHoC Members.
2. You must have a constitution that governs the internal affairs of the party.
3. You must have a platform, manifesto, or other policy document describing the party's political positions and/or ideology.
4. You must have, at least, either a subreddit or a Discord Chat, from which to conduct your parties operations.

Use this thread to register a Party, Use the following template:

Application to Register Party Party Name: Proposed Party Leader: List of Members (3 Minimum): Party Constitution: Platform, Manifesto, or another policy document: Subreddit or a Discord Chat: 

Registering an Independent Grouping
If you wish to start a political grouping but don't meet the requirements to do so, you may instead register an independent grouping. If you wish to start a major party (CPC, LPC, NDP) but don't have the requirements to do so, please reserve the party name instead (below). To Register an Independent Grouping, your application needs to meet the following requirements.

1. You must have a grouping name.
2. You must have, at least, either a subreddit or a Discord Chat, from which to conduct your groupings' operations.

Use this thread to register an Independent Grouping, Use the following template:

Application to Register Independent Grouping Grouping Name: Proposed Grouping Leader: List of Members: Subreddit or a Discord Chat: 

Reserve a Party Name
If you want to organize a party, but do not have the player requirements right now, that is fine, you can reserve a party name for 7 days (non-renewable), without any player requirements. Once you have reserved a name, no one else will be allowed to reserve that name for the 7 days you have the name reserved. That will give you a week to get together the required number of players.
Use this thread to reserve a Party name, Use the following template:

Application to Reserve Party Name Party Name: Subreddit or a Discord Chat: 

The Following Party Names are Currently Reserved, if the party is not registered by the expiration date the reservation of the name expires and cannot be renewed:

• Liberal Party of Canada - Model-Wanuke

Discord

CMHoC has a Discord Server! Join here!

More Information

For more information, visit the below links:

• CMHoCPress
• CMHoCMeta

Bienvenue à CMHoC !

Nous sommes un subreddit qui se concentre sur la simulation de la plupart des portions de la politique canadienne, en particulier la colline parlementaire. Veuillez lire les informations ci-dessous et poser toutes les questions qui nécessitent une réponse.

L'essentiel :

• Nous gérons un Parlement du Canada simulé.
• Nous avons une période de questions hebdomadaire pour les ministres du Cabinet et le Premier ministre.
• CMHoC a de nombreuses organisations de presse et de médias gérées par les utilisateurs. Vous les trouverez sur CMHoCSimPress.
• Les députés sont élus, au maximum, tous les trois mois. Les élections sont menées à l'aide d'un système simulé, récompensant l'activité et une forte champagne.
• Les sénateurs sont nommés par le Premier ministre pour un mandat maximum d'un an.
• Nous avons beaucoup de partis politiques. Nous vous suggérons fortement de rejoindre un parti existant, car cela rendra votre implication dans CMHoC plus facile et plus amusante.

Démarrage pour les nouveaux joueurs :

Consultez le Guide du nouveau joueur.

Devenir un membre du CMHoC

La participation au canon est ouverte à tous. Cependant, pour avoir votre mot à dire dans le fonctionnement de cette communauté, comme proposer des changements à nos règles, une fois que vous avez commencé à participer à la simulation, vous pouvez en tant que membre rejoindre les discussions et voter sur CMHoCMeta.

Rejoignez un parti !

Nous avons actuellement les partis enregistrés suivants :

• Parti conservateur du Canada (PCC) - Aphyllous - Discord
  
• Parti Diadème du Canada (PDC) - TheVeryWetBanana - Discord
  

Nous avons actuellement les groupements indépendants enregistrés suivants :

• Groupe Juche (GJ) - NewAccountMcGee - Discord
  
• Les Amis! Groupe (LAG) - MasterEndlessRBLX - Discord
  
• Groupe national de l'Alberta (GNA) - JaacTreee - Discord
  

Si vous souhaitez rejoindre les partis ci-dessus, il suffit de laisser un commentaire mentionnant le nom du parti. Par exemple :

Hi, je voudrais rejoindre le Nouveau Parti Démocratique.

Enregistrez un nouveau parti !

Bien que nous vous suggérons fortement de rejoindre un parti existant, vous pouvez enregistrer votre propre parti.
**Conditions d'enregistrement d'un parti
Pour enregistrer un parti, votre demande doit répondre aux exigences suivantes.

1. Vous devez avoir au moins 3 membres de la parti, qui doivent tous être des membres du CMHoC.
2. Vous devez avoir une constitution qui régit les affaires internes du parti.
3. Vous devez avoir une plateforme, un manifeste ou tout autre document politique décrivant les positions politiques et/ou l'idéologie du parti. 4.
4. Vous devez avoir, au moins, soit un subreddit ou un Discord Chat, à partir duquel vous pouvez mener les opérations de votre parti.

Utilisez ce fil de discussion pour enregistrer un parti, utilisez le modèle suivant :

Demande d'enregistrement d'un parti Nom du parti : Chef de parti proposé : Liste des membres (3 minimum) : Constitution du parti : Plate-forme, Manifeste, ou autre document de politique : Subreddit ou une discussion Discord : 

Enregistrement d'un groupement indépendant
Si vous souhaitez créer une formation politique mais que vous ne remplissez pas les conditions requises pour le faire, vous pouvez enregistrer une formation indépendante. Si vous souhaitez créer un grand parti (PCC, PLC, NPD) mais que vous ne remplissez pas les conditions requises pour le faire, vous pouvez réserver le nom du parti (ci-dessous). Pour enregistrer un groupement indépendant, votre demande doit remplir les conditions suivantes.

1. Vous devez avoir un nom de groupement.
2. Vous devez avoir au moins un subreddit ou un Discord Chat, à partir duquel vous pourrez mener les opérations de votre groupement.

Utilisez ce fil de discussion pour enregistrer un groupement indépendant, utilisez le modèle suivant :

Demande d'enregistrement d'un groupement indépendant Nom du groupement : Chef de groupe proposé : Liste des membres : Subreddit ou Discord Chat : 

Réservez un nom de parti
Si vous voulez organiser un parti, mais que vous n'avez pas les joueurs requis pour le moment, c'est parfait, vous pouvez réserver un nom de parti pour 7 jours (non renouvelable), sans aucune exigence de joueur. Une fois que vous avez réservé un nom, personne d'autre ne sera autorisé à réserver ce nom pendant les 7 jours où vous l'avez réservé. Cela vous laisse une semaine pour réunir le nombre de joueurs requis.
Utilisez ce fil de discussion pour réserver un nom de partie, utilisez le modèle suivant :

Demande de réservation d'un nom de parti Nom de la partie : Subreddit ou un Chat Discord : 

Les noms de partis suivants sont actuellement réservés, si le parti n'est pas enregistré avant la date d'expiration, la réservation du nom expire et ne peut être renouvelée :

• Parti libéral du Canada - Model-Wanuke

Discordes

CMHoC a un serveur Discord ! Rejoignez-nous ici !

Plus d'informations

Pour plus d'informations, visitez les liens ci-dessous :

• CMHoCPress
• CMHoCMeta

One thing i noticed today after wrestlers being beaten is , that no one cares about common man. If goons like brij bhushan can roam free , even after accepting murder on camera , then what is the point of discussion.
We randomly discuss things on sub, but cant stop anything bad from happening. If tomorrow these politicians decide to garland and free rapists, decide to do riots, decide to overturn supreme court order by ordinance, stop appointment of judges( muralidhar) , we can still do nothing.
Even when supreme court themselves said that hate speeches need to be stopped, still no action taken. Every day , hate speeches are becoming common especially in maharashtra where radicalization was not there earlier.
Almost 54 civilians died in manipur, still no word from our PM on the condition of manipur. He had time to go to sydney and election rallies but no time for manipur. Same thing happened during morbi incident. He went after 1.5 days , after doing all inaugurations in gujarat elections.
The lives lost in manipur will never return and it was bjp leader biren singh who provoked these tensions between metei and kuki. This same model of division and hatred is being done in assam.
https://scroll.in/article/1049442/interview-biren-singh-pushed-rash-policies-in-manipur-added-to-kuki-resentment
They will continue making propaganda movies like glorifying savarkar (who opposed quit india movement and INA) or say all muslims are potential rapists because khadim was muslim in ajmer rape case. Such movies will be made which were common in nazi germany and media will help in amplifying it. Also next year, they will inaugurate ram mandir and everyone will forget all bad stuff because IT cell will be sharing photos on twitter and other platforms.
So what is point of all this when we cant stop anything from happening? The best example is turkey. The public hate secularist and voted again for erdogan even when turkey suffered from worst economic crisis under him. This is the same country which was founded on ideals of ataturk who overthrew monarchy and established secular state. It is shocking that muslims who themselves suffer from hindutva ideology in india , support majoritarian ideology of erdogan under "nationalism" and "caliphate".
https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/turkeys-net-fx-reserves-hit-21-year-low-23-bln-before-vote-2023-05-19/
I have been thinking of leaving political discussions and also asking sub to leave it when it doesnt affect anything, If losing loved ones , due to govt mismanagement in pandemic ( pm was organizing rallies in bengal and also allowed kumbh ) didnt change anything, then what will change now? They will continue making propaganda movies, controlling institutions , changing textbooks , giving hate speeches and media is ever ready to help them.

A lot happened before my father passed my sisters both demanded accounts and signed on the way they owned our father and her to the lot of large amount of money before he retired one sister had full control to put one account and because her husband had knowledge of how to control people with these accounts and how to sign them to where you own them and could walk away with all that one dollar unless my dad wanted to press charges felony and he did not he lived with that for several years the thing was my brother-in-law demanded I didn't no help and no cash from my father who bought me a vehicle and he also demanded who bought from him so he could have his own cash that started a bad thing but on the other note my other sister and brother planned a long time ago to steal all on the end and one sister her whole name go in life was to still everything in the end to work as a librarian in order to mingle with authorities with a plan of cutting me out because mother made her hate me when we were children she told her she was a real oldest daughter I was adopted by my father in the state of Missouri because I had no father my mother was abusive to me and she got her words she cut me out she got threw me out of the family they had me abused I had a death threat at one time when my memories came back I have an appointment to talk to a trusted her recovery attorney next week but it's well down to now it's a dirty stuff but they're still a very large amount of money missing that was too preachers one being a bad lawyer who was elected to prosecutor because of his name the state of Missouri couldn't help me with that because he was elected. There's no protection for heirs even though there's laws in Missouri. And when did in-laws with hating their heart and greed they come errors assets were never reported I never got anything from my dad as far as I had property stored there I finally got my camper but it cost me a lot my brother forced me to sign titles and soon tops and my sister would use them on something I told her it would be fraud because they couldn't Court can tell immediately that the paper was added to after the signature landlords can't get away with that anymore unless the person can't take them to court then they do cuz it happened to me before my thoughts are I was abused my life was certain all this Northwest Missouri it's very corrupt a bank account was moved when I was dying in another state and the prosecutor won't even let me look because it's been a few years back I need prosecutor the bank was concerned like there was a criminal and that prosecutor said get a lawyer well that's all I was told by a person well when they have more money and they've used pictures to launder money they use the prosecutor to get their way to not probate a larger state and they turn their back on me that goes to me like I am a disease because I know what they did my life was in dangerous I still don't feel safe I'm in this town I'm working on getting away from here so I can take care of the rest of this but my children didn't deserve to be cut out my father did not do this they did what they wanted for very large amount of money who got a very large attack right before he died and then I don't know who got the money I'm not money doesn't drive me but the fact that they did what they did has me irritated because my children did not deserve this my brother was supposed to probate and help me get all this done so my sister's got their way so far but my mother was in the background she was the first ex-wife and he was single but my one sister control freak controlled dad never move after his last divorce and he couldn't trust her she stole tooth imagine that grave sold them a year later without telling him to make banked on that but she did that because my other sister would find onto his largest inheritance account and controlling him with it he didn't press start his own either one but he did turn him in before he died after he got that last check he was bullied that's why they wanted my memory is gone I hired somebody to come into my life I found Love with a narcissist who was there for hire St Joe Missouri is very corrupt Andrew county was where the prosecutor fake probate attorney was they're still a fake casing at the judge refused to move it off but my brother is no longer represented who paid it to get it stopped to get those two titles back my father bought way more local than that my brother and said he was doing his own probate he bullied me to sign in 15 titles two were property I can't find out where those went except for I know they were laundered through his church his Titan picture who greedy preacher but also was involved and getting money off the top that's I'm in the assets it's all a mess it's a very big mess I'm talking to Tony next week another one thing is only have one chance that they got more money than they're counting you know I they laundered money they did it's on public 300 vehicles cars and trucks at dad bought for probate my brother promised to do with me that sisters pays him to do with that program that month is already had the prosecuting attorney as a lawyer he's not even a probate lawyer and now he's not a prosecutor attorney who knows he did wrong he's also a preacher but he's one of those tithing pictures like the other one putting printers lying their own pockets with other people's money they don't give it to the floor they're legal things in my eyes but I'm opinionated

This is my first post anywhere on Reddit so forgiveness please if I'm bending any rules.
I (57 F) needed to travel for my surgery as I live pretty remotely, and elected to drive (2 days) rather than fly. I love road trips, it's a scenic drive pretty much start to finish, and my introvert heart loves any opportunity to sing my lungs out without any worry of judgement (and cargo space - no Ikea where I live). I drove alone as this was a trip I was looking forward to - my partner was going to fly down to accompany me back/share the driving 4 weeks post op. I lived here years ago and still have a small support system in place so perfect (staying with my BFF, who is a family doc even). My pre-op appointment was a week before my surgery.
Long story short - I found a breast lump the day I got here. I asked the anesthetist for a mammorgram requisition during my pre-op and actually got in for a mammogram and ultrasound immediately. The lump is suspicious and I had a biopsy the next day (also my birthday). Could not ask for things to have gone any more smoothly I guess, but there is no way results will be back before surgery day. It's postponed and no idea how long or if it can happen at all. Biopsy results should be back within a week and my plan now is to stick around until they are - if this is cancer I'll need to come here for assessment and to set up a treatment plan, so sticking around for a week or two in case it all comes together since I'm already here.
I am a f***ing mess. I have spent the past few years working to change the way I think/live/do things, trying to reset habits and thought patterns and my brain is so frikking scrambled right now. I don't know how to withstand the part of me that's trying to giving up. I have spent the 2 days since the biopsy trying to stay busy & keep my brain occupied...sort of working but there have been binging and tears and staring into space and that insidious inner voice telling me this is just like every other thing I ever really wanted - was never happening, you never deserved it, and what an effing idiot for thinking it ever could (a life long battle with those feelings).
Not sure what I'm expecting here. All I know is my bariatric crew is at home, my BFF had to leave for a week-long conference (her lovely hubby and son/my Godson are trying but they don't know what to do/say though I so appreciate the love). My partner would come if I asked him but I'm keeping that in my pocket for when/if treatment starts (limited leave - used most to visit his family in Europe, of course we weren't expecting breast cancer). Maybe all I need is for someone to agree this really sucks. I can't distract myself and I'm crying as I writer this. Life just really fucking stinks right now and I want to howl and kick like a toddler.
Don't know what to do...just that I don't want to be a burden. I'm an RN. I'm supposed to do the helping.