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Thief in the June 27 Balance Patch

2023.06.10 05:21 TheDarkstarChimaera Thief in the June 27 Balance Patch

Source
I'm Iskarel. I maintain the PvE Thief builds and guides on Snow Crows
With a PvE perspective, I'm going to run through the changes, discuss their impact, and talk about current meta builds and how they're impacted.
Want the build-by-build cliff notes? Skip to the bottom, search for "tl;dr"
I know this is a lot. Think of it as a reference document.
A LOT has changed. The builds aren't unrecognizable but the texture has changed almost across the board.

Flanking is Dead (for most endgame bosse)

To make them more reliable in endgame PvE content, all effects that benefit when the player strikes from the flank or from behind now always apply their benefits when striking defiant foes.
Not all players know that "flanking" or "from behind or the sides" just means—don't be in front of the target.
Ever used a build with Thief runes? Just don't stand directly in front of the target.
What fewer players will know is that there's a small set of skills that actually need you to be ~180-degrees behind your target.
Which way does Keep Construct face when it descends back to the arena after the orb-rift-push phase?
Which way does Sabetha face during her Flame Wall?
I'm not going to answer these questions because the answers don't matter anymore! This skill expression is now gone.
Just backstab from any angle.
Ah but "defiant foes"? What isn't included there?
Can you backstab Primordus in the Harvest Temple strike if your group stays on the left vs right side, when looking from the center towards the dragon?
You would have to be on the right side. The left is the dragon's face.
Which way does Conjured Amalgamate face?
When approaching CA's platform, it is facing to your right. This also applies to the hands. Stand on the left side of the platform, and "above" the hands (closer to the portal leading away from this encounter).
Which way do the hands on Adina face?
2 o'clock (north), 5 o'clock (northwest), 7 o'clock (south), 10 o'clock (southeast)
No, I don't know why.
Just use your rifle and pierce two hands with Spotter's Shot + Death's Judgment! That's better than remembering these facing positions.
These are non-defiant "prop" type enemies. Also included here is Drakkar, the Octovine, and Tequatl. IIRC.
BTW Drakkar is made up 17 prop pieces, and you can only cast Deadeye's Mark on one of them. Don't play Deadeye here, you're trolling yourself. :D

Acrobatics Mental Gymnastics

Yeah this ain't it, chief. This is still a defensive and mobility-oriented traitline.
The damage modifier in Endless Stamina can't compete with Deadly Arts or Critical Strikes, even when combined with the Power in Swinder's Equilibrium.
The other stuff is maybe interesting for solo open world champions but Shadow Arts is already quite capable at that, and Condition Thief has a lot more toys to work with when solo compared to Power.
It's something but this traitline still feels ironically directionless.

Improvisational Theater of War

Improvisation: This trait now reduces the cooldowns of all utility skills by a certain percentage when you steal, instead of recharging a random skill.
Previously: this trait would randomly reset one of your utility skills, with a cooldown on the effect. If it chose a skill already on cooldown, it would have no effect. It could not reset the cooldown of an un-triggered but prepared Preparation.
Interesting! We can now use this trait predictably, resetting the cooldown of all our utility skills. On the surface that's good because it means we'll always get value out of the reset...unless our skill uses are staggered. More on that later.

Mag Bomb Delenda Est.

Currently this skill's damage-per-cast-time is roughly double that of Daredevil Staff 2, Weakening Charge. Notably, the cast time is short because it pulses damage.
The coefficient we have on the wiki, drawn from the Game's API, is 4.10. ANet lists a 1.50 (per hit, so 4.50 total) nerfed to 0.70. So... Uh...
Let's say Throw Magnetic Bomb's damage is nerfed to 50% of its current damage. Or there about.
So next patch, one Throw Magnetic Bomb is close to the damage of one Staff 2, but the damage comes out over time (during our Assassin Signet burst) and the cast animation is faster than Staff 2.
But is it worth losing Executioner?
Probably not. Executioner is approximately 9.52% damage on a fight that spends 50% of its time above 50% target HP and 50% of time below (due to Ferocious Strikes).
That's a lot of damage to be made up by another use of a stolen skill!

Daredevil's Bound to be Good

Bound: Increased power coefficient from 1.75 to 3.5
This ratchets up the damage of our dodge so that it beats the damage-per-cast-time of Punishing Strikes (skill 1 part C) and Staff 5, while still losing to Staff Strike and Staff Bash (skill 1 parts A/B), Staff 2, and Fist Flurry/Palm Strike.
This damage increase is valuable because

Auto chain go brrrr

Staff Strike, Staff Bash: Increased power coefficient.
... Uh oh.
This increase the DPS of the first and second part of the chain well beyond the last hit.
The optimal DPS rotation now involves interrupting the chain after the 2nd hit.
That's not easy to do on most professions, which have a limited number of viable interrupts, but we're Thief, baby!
Staff Strike, Staff Bash, Weakening Charge. Repeat. Throw in a Fist Flurry. Save your Palm Strike. Yeah. This sort of thing.
Calculations done by REMagic42 ( training-accident-36 ) show the following
A not insignificant DPS increase provided by this (unintended?) balance predicament.
You could just not do this. That's up to you. The build is getting buffed by ~4,000 DPS next patch but it still has all the old problems. Don't know those? Read here

Let's Get Physical (Lights out, follow the noise)

Various Physical Skill cooldown reductions
These are neat and strictly a positive.
Left, a great player who provides benchmarks for Power and Condition Daredevil, already tested Condition Daredevil with cooldown-traited Impairing Daggers and found them simply worse in group content vs Devourer Venom. You can read more on his benchmark.
So the Impairing Daggers cooldown reduction (CDR) doesn't matter to us.
A cooldown reduction for Channeled Vigor would've been cool!
This skill basically gives you a get-out-of-jail-free dodge if you're ever scared that burning all your dodges for Havoc Specialist will leave you vulnerable. You can get a dodge with Withdraw on a shorter cooldown but that travels backwards from your facing direction which can be scary.
This skill is also very useful for maintaining Lotus Training uptime when playing Condition Daredevil. If you can't keep hitting the boss with your auto-attack chain and F1 Steal, you will run out of endurance and lose your condition damage buff. Use Channeled Vigor to maintain buff uptime when you can't hit the boss. (This tip comes from Left!)
Impact Strike is still worse defiance-bar to cooldown ratio vs Basilisk Venom, but any improvement is nice. This skill is good when you can't guarantee all hits of Basilisk Venom will hit your target, or when you need to CC more frequently than Basilisk's cooldown allows.

Death-onate Plasma and "Boon Thief"

Farewell, Boon Thief. Without Quickness, we can no longer role-compress all those shiny boons in Plasma into a Quickness Build.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that the damage of Detonate Plasma will not be worth its cast time purely from a DPS perspective, especially on a Condition Build, but you might still get some boon uptime from Daredevils on fights like Matthias and Twin Largos' Kenut.
You can now permanently sunset your Celestial/Ritualist gear for Boon Thief. Will you use it for Alacrity Specter later? I don't now, I don't know how much Alacrity is given by that trait. We'll talk more later. :)

Also Icebrood Saga exists

These really don't matter. Unstable Reagent is maybe a DPS increase, I don't have a log with it for cast time.
This is NOT Unstable Artifact BTW. That skill is still worth using for both Power and Condition DPS.
Cursed Artifact is like throw-Plaguelands, and an Ethereal field at that. It's free real estate on the Condition Build.
Time in a Bottle is squad-wide alacrity AND quickness. Take that, Chronomancer! It's only found in Cold War and randomly in EoD strikes. :)

Dumbed-down-eye

Deadeye Stolen Skill splash support

Stolen Skills now grant their beneficial effects around the caster.
These are mostly "splash" uptimes of boons, but you can also get superspeed and a modest heal. Neat! Deadeye providing a token amount of squad value beyond its DPS and CC output.

Deadeye Malicious Intent buff

Malicious Intent: Increased Malice gain from 1 to 2 in PvE only
This is actually big!
Firstly, this increases the damage dealt by the lower difficulty Be Quick or Be Killed Dagger Deadeye rotation (if you've ever heard someone described Dagger Deadeye as 5111151115111, that's this).
1 more Malice pip after each Mark and Stealth attack boost the damage modifier of Malicious Backstab. This should be approximately +800 DPS for the Backstabs alone (Backstab DPS will increase by 7.6%), but this rotation might take advantage of the reduced Shadow Flare cooldown.
Secondly, this is wonderful for the Dagger-Dagger Maleficent Seven rotation.
All Power Dagger skills (Heartseeker, Dancing Dagger, Cloak & Dagger) are single-damage packet skills (with the exception of Dancing Dagger when bounced from your main target, to another enemy, and back to your main target). This means they have only one chance to score a crit, and thus only one chance to earn 2 Malice instead of 1.
Power Thief derives 15% critical chance from Critical Strikes' Keen Observer trait, which demands the player stay above 75% HP. You won't have 100% uptime of this trait in many raid fights, especially if your healer is slacking. If the current Dagger Deadeye benchmark was performed at 75% player HP, without drastically altering gear to accommodate for the missing critical chance, the benchmark could lose up to 12,000 DPS!, dropping it nearly into support territory.
This Malicious Intent buff gives you a safety cushion for one of those Initiative skills to score a non-crit, making the rotation more robust in endgame encounters. It does NOT reduce the minimum number of Initiative skills needed to reach maximum Malice: that is still 3 with Malicious Intent and 4 without. It does reduce the maximum needed by 1 skill, which is also great!

Quickly Fire For Effect

This trait no longer requires a target to grant boons to allies.
Er, it doesn't require one right now. Specifically, if you Mark a target, you can use your F2 and gain boons even if your stolen skill is obstructed by terrain. If you have your enemy targeted while outside 1,500 range you will get an out of range error that stops you from casting F2, but simply untargeting the enemy will let you use the skill to get boons. If you are obstructed or out of range, you don't hit the target.
I assume what this means is that if you do NOT have a marked target, you can cast a cantrip to get a new F2. That's cool and rather handy for the new Quickness build.

Shadow Flare isn't real, it can't hurt you

Shadow Flare: Reduced cooldown from 30 to 20 seconds. This skill only damages once instead of pulsing. Activate the flip-over Shadow Swap to trigger another damage instance from your original location.
Deadeye dumbed down. Navigating self-reveal with pulsing damage skills on DPS Deadeye has been a hallmark of modern builds for several years—Shadow Flare for Power, Thousand Needles for Condition.
That problem is now eliminated for Power. You don't need to know the timing, you don't need to know where to throw Shadow Flare. Just Do your backstab, cast Shadow Flare for one damage packet, cast it again, go for another Backstab. No fuss, no skill expression, no frustration, no learning curve.
I don't like this change, I understand why other people like this change. I think it's dumb to change this. If you don't like self-reveal, consider not playing the class that uses Stealth and Revealed for its DPS output.

Fun in the Chamber

One in the Chamber: This trait now also increase the damage of F2 Stolen Skills in addition to its previous effects
In case anyone is unfamiliar with Deadeye—it doesn't have access to any core Stolen Skills. No Mag Bombs here!
This is a nice perk. The important thing is that this trait gives us an extra F2 charge every time we use a Cantrip...We'll use that for Quickness.
This trait is also valuable to Condition Deadeye builds (particularly since there's a 4/9 chance they get a stolen skill that applies damaging conditions!) and to Power Pistol-Pistol Deadeye. See more of that here.

Binding Shadow, my beloved

Binding Shadow - Reduced cooldown from 30 to20 seconds in PvE.
Cool! I love—
This skill now immobilizes marked targets instead of knocking them down
Oh. Uhhh it already immobilized them. I assume it immobilizes them more? That sucks, this was an amazing breakbar skill, particular on Condition Deadeye where it applied several poison stacks (natively, and via Panic Strike with Immobilize) and gave an extra F2 charge from One in the Chamber.
It's lower cooldown on boonstrip which is neat? Matches No Pain No Gain time in Fractals, I suppose.
Just use a Power Mesmer, they passively breathe boonstrip.

Quickness Deadeye builds

Three options!
Oops! All cantrips
This option will spam out cantrip like nobody's business to meet the voracious demand of Might uptime.
Fire For Effect grants 8 stacks of Might for 12 seconds. The with-Alacrity cooldown of Cantrips are: 16 (Binding Shadow, Shadow Flare), 20 seconds (Malicious Restoration heal), 25 seconds (Mercy, Shadow Gust). When using Mercy, the cooldown of F1 is effectively the cooldown of Mercy, plus minimally the cast time of the F2, plus the cast time of F1 again.
So some of our Might is locked behind 25+ seconds. Building for 100% Might Duration would be devastating for our DPS output. We could cover 100% Might uptime with a single trio of F2 casts anyway—Binding Shadow, Malicious Restoration, Shadow Flare—but that would not take tactical advantage of the natural Deadeye's Mark cooldown.
Instead, we'll cover Quickness with two sets of F2 casts, staggered across the duration of our Might stacks. Left has an old benchmark demonstrating this technique.
So that's our 24-might upkeep option. It's not pretty, and it's Cantrip spam. ANet said we wouldn't have this in the game anymore.
Well, what if we don't have to generate Might?
Then we have two options:
3 cantrips with no Improvisation
This option will maintain a burst of 24 might as we apply quickness, or we can space out the stolen skills to maintain at least 8 stacks indefinitely. Sounds pretty good!
Improvisation
We'll probably still be using Shadow Flare because it's just good damage, and Improvisation selects for builds that use active utility skills, not passive signets. We might even be able to use Malicious Intent instead of One in the Chamber for this build, earning us more damage on Malicious Backstab.
So we have options.

Quickness Deadeye weapon options (We don't have those! )

Maleficent Seven is the only equalizer at work that allows bad weapons to do somewhat okay, and without that, we're back to shopping with the to the usual harsh restriction of "the best single skill out of all these weapons crushes the validity of all other options".
Stealth attacks? Naw, just spam F2s without Malice.
"Filler" initiative skills used to build up to an Initiative reset at max Malice? Nope, don't care, whatever has the best initiative-to-damage ratio is what we're running.
Thief Dagger is about matched with Thief sword for auto attack damage but Dagger is home to the centralizing Cloak & Dagger → Backstab combo. This does huge damage from any direction—flanking is gone!
Sword, by contrast, suffers a DPS loss when using any dual wield skill, Headshot, or Black Powder. The only DPS gain skills are Cloak & Dagger (but the stealth attack for sword is BARELY worth using, you could actually just cast Cloak & Dagger twice in a row and do just as well), and Sword 2...without using the return-to shadowstep. Meaning Sword 2 has a 15-second cooldown. Just to do slightly more than the auto-attack.
Need CC? Pack an off-hand pistol and fill time with auto-attacks, they're very good.
What about Pistol?
It's just weaker.
Shortbow?
It sucks really bad against single targets.
Rifle? This is the sniper spec!
It sucks if you don't have Maleficent Seven for infinite Initiative and either stealth utility skills or Silent Scope to unlock Death's Judgment.

Specter, rant about single-target/ally-target support

Ally-targeted scepter skills now also grant a lesser effect to additional allies in a radius around the target.
I don't know why ANet is so obsessed with single target support for PvE Specter, but they'll learn its untenable eventually. They've been gradually walking back the single target focus ever since release, and we are now about 15 months past Specter's official release and coming up on 2 years since it's beta.
Ally-targeting is clunky.
Single-target support is nonviable. We have encounters that apply arena damage to all players, and each player in the squad can take damage from the same AoE and it's the healer's job to keep the whole team up.
A "lesser effect". Reduced duration? Great, what's the point of that? You might as well just make it all the reduced duration.
Does "splashed" Shadow Sap not even grant protection to the other allies? Great, we won't use it.
Hopefully this will just be something like reduced Barrier or Healing, and the Boons are intact, but it's already been confirmed by the new member of the design team, Trig, on a Twitch Stream (Mighty Teapot's?) that Endless Night will not give Quickness to "splashed" allies.
Maybe this skill shouldn't give quickness at all. Why is the design team not skill splitting? What are they afraid of?

The Dark Side of Scepter Splash

If you paid attention to Specter during its beta testing, you might be aware of a very weird build that used Endless Night (Scepter Pistol dual wield beam skill that granted quickness and 7-packets of Barrier to 3 allies, if you could pierce through the allies).
This rotation was initially theorycrafted by Left when Specter was first showed off. I did some early proof-of-concept on the build, then Left took it over and improved it to around 51,000 DPS.
That's a lot of damage!
Watch that video briefly, and notice how I swap between the enemy and my allies, applying one skill to the target then the Endless Night beam to my allies.
When Specter applies barrier to an ally, they receive a stack of Rotwallow Venom, which applies a short-duration stack of torment to a single enemy just like normal venoms.
Each cast of Endless Night back then was 21 applications of Rotwallow Venom, with more Torment duration than we have now.
ANet killed that build back during beta by making the beam target a single enemy, nerfing the quickness application, nerfing Rotwallow Venom duration, nerfing Specter's Torment damage modifier, nerfing Consume Shadows to require charging up.... The list goes on.
Why do I bring this up?

Scepter Autos on Allies

Currently the scepter auto chain applies 54 seconds of Torment (in the form of multiple stacks). If the scepter auto chain can instead apply barrier to 3 allies, then this balloons to 72 seconds without Strength of Shadows, or 108 seconds with Strength of Shadows.
Yes.
The auto-attack chain will be twice as strong when targeting allies, vs targeting the enemy.
Endless Night is not worth using against an enemy target, but it might be worth using on allies. This rotation won't have room for auto attacks, so I'm not pinning any hopes to this.
No, the optimal damage rotation will probably be Twilight combo, Siphon, and Shroud skills on the enemy, then filling time with Scepter skills on allies. We will probably spend less time in Shroud because those autos are just so cracked...

Second Opinion, moving away from Consume Shadows

Ever since beta all forms of Specter have run Consume Shadows—Alacrity, DPS, Heal. This is because Consume Shadows can apply barrier to allies, giving them Rotwallow venom. The other adept traits are purely defensive, so they're not used by the DPS and Alacrity builds...and Consume Shadows is an extremely potent healing tool. So potent, it's been nerfed repeatedly!
Charged time reduced from instant to 4 seconds, maximum shroud cut by more than 50%, conversion ratio reduced from 100 to 50%
Second Opinion will grant bonus Condition Damage, more with a Scepter. This should be, at minimum, +80/+80, which will beat the ~800 DPS provided by perfect Rotwallow Venom application from Consume Shadows.
Perfect?
If your allies are too injured and Consume Shadows only heals them overflowing into Barrier, you won't give them Rotwallow.

Traversing Dusk no longer gives Alacrity

This is just a heal trait now. That's just what it does.

Shadestep is the new Alacrity trait

Oh. Uh. I'll keep it quick.
  1. This reduces our gameplay from 2 separate rotations with their own quirks and different Shroud lengths, to 1—the DPS rotation.
How do you give alacrity? Just go into shroud and push buttons.
How do you do DPS? Just go into shroud and push buttons.
Alacrity Specter's Well cooldowns were inaccessible inside Shadow Shroud because we inherited a shroud, not just a kit like Druid's Celestial Avatar or Holosmith's Photon Forge.
Druid Spirits off cooldown while in CA? Don't care, you can push em.
Specter wells off cooldown while in Shadow Shroud? You might be gaining DPS from shroud skills, or healing from Consume Shadows, but you're losing Alacrity uptime. Is that tradeoff worth it?
Doesn't matter anymore. Just do the benchmark DPS rotation.
You're too slow? Then your alacrity uptime will suffer. You need to be on pace with going in and out of shroud, just like the DPS rotation. Difference is, if you're bad at this, it's going to frustrate other people.
This is not the hardest rotation in game to optimize and you of course have the option to make it easier with Ritualist gear (which you should do anyway if you plan to still run Consume Shadows, will be a two-fold personal DPS loss).
\2. Ever been kicked out of Shroud by incoming damage in a raid/strike/open world meta? No more Alacrity uptime for you. Better refill your Shadow Force quickly—and Larcenous Torment generates Shadow Force FAR more slowly than Traversing Dusk
Fun fact: Traversing Dusk's 1% Shadow Force per ally in your shadowstep scales indefinitely, not just up to 5 players. That gives you colossal Shadow Force generation in crowded metas and even raids.
Want to use your Siphon on ally? No you don't, that's valuable Shadow Force generation you need to maintain tempo for Alacrity.
Again, you can wear Ritualist gear to soften this loss.
Want to have the utility of Well of Bounty? Well, previously that utility was tied to your Alacrity uptime, your DPS uptime (lingering outside shroud for Well of Bounty was a loss), and your healing output (Traversing Dusk, and maintaining tempo in/out of Shadow Shroud for Consume Shadows).
Now you can take Well of Bounty and have it on demand, at a DPS loss.
Previously you could have just take advantage of the long Stability duration to cast this well early, or delay it slightly to cover the mechanic.
How much DPS will ANet allow this build to have?
We don't know. And now it's DPS is very closely tied to the DPS build because they're doing nearly the exact same thing.
This has never happened to Firebrand, trust me.

tl;dr It's dangerous to read all that up there! Skip to here!

Condition Daredevil

Unchanged by Impairing Daggers cooldown reduction

Power Daredevil

Buffed to ~38.6 if you do the old rotation.
Buffed to 40.2 if you do the new degenerate 1a 1b 2 1a 1b 2 rotation that interrupts our auto chain.
Still screwed by all the usual stuff.
Mag Bomb damage normalized. Cool. Still amazing utility on that skill.

Boon Thief

Dead. Deadeye killed it.

Power Dagger Deadeye

Much easier to play. Splashes some cute boons onto its subgroup, at random. Have to see if Shadow Flare is still worth using. Hopefully, right?

Power Rifle Deadeye

Silent Scope uses Shadow Flare, I hope that's still worth using.
No need to flank with Premeditation Rifle is nice. Swapping Impact to an Accuracy sigil (or not doing that, and losing crit chance) was ~1,200 DPS loss, so that's avoided. I don't mind losing flanking here that much because Flanking wasn't make-or-break adrenaline pumping like dagger. It was just a boring loss.

Quickness Deadeye

I hope you like pushing 5 and 1 a whole lot because that's almost all this is. Also pushing cantrips for F2 charges to provide quickness.
It will play okay, but pretttttttttty similar to utility-spam builds that people hate, with the added bonus of casting TWO skills for every application of quickness.
You can tune this to your liking BUT

IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY WAYS THIS GAME'S ENEMIES CAN APPLY REVEALED TO YOU THEN YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT WHEN YOU PICK UP QUICKNESS DEADEYE NEXT PATCH :D

It won't really prevent you from applying quickness but it will tank your DPS and fracture your soul.
One of us. One of us!
This is getting no changes, by the way. It'd be a huge amount of effort from the studio's programmers for one elite spec, for one profession, largely in one game mode (instanced PvE), with a small player base.
Probably just not happening. Not a question of "want to", it's a question of resource management AND doing this right.
Remember stealth-tanking Old Lion's Court? Because they didn't apply Revealed, then they only applied Revealed once and Deadeye just Shadow Melded out of it?

DPS Specter

Buffed by Second Opinion, dubiously buffed by targeting allies with the auto chain.
You can still run Consume Shadows for team healing/barrier.

Alacrity Specter

I don't know. Presumably the shroud skills will allow us to provide at least 50% uptime with a non-degenerate rotation (one that doesn't have us spending all our time in shroud). Said degenerate rotation is naturally policed by the fact our shroud absorbs incoming damage.
Will it run Consume Shadows? Not for optimal damage anymore.

Alac Share Specter

Just change your grandmaster from Strength of Shadows to Shadestep and do the normal rotation. Should do at least 50% uptime, unless Alac specter is just nonviable and can't maintain Alacrity.
submitted by TheDarkstarChimaera to Guildwars2 [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 19:27 United-Hall-6449 Fun stuff in and around Bentonville this weekend

For anyone looking for things to do this weekend, here's a roundup of what's going on in NWA from the NWA Daily newsletter.
NWA Daily has updates like this every Friday in the newsletter!
submitted by United-Hall-6449 to bentonville [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 19:26 United-Hall-6449 Fun Stuff Going on this Weekend

For anyone looking for things to do this weekend, here's a roundup of what's going on in NWA from the NWA Daily newsletter.
NWA Daily has updates like this every Friday in the newsletter!
submitted by United-Hall-6449 to northwestarkansas [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
submitted by sandwich_with_a_hat to bees [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 18:31 redditduk [MegaList] SG Gigs & Music Concerts: Mid June (9 - 22 Jun 2023)

June 10 Update: 12-14 June reddit boycott. Bonus 24-jun-only listing will be hosted off-reddit soon.

9-Jun Fri

 
 

10-Jun Sat

 
 

11-Jun Sun

 

12-Jun Mon

 

13-Jun Tue

 

14-Jun Wed

 

15-Jun Thu

 

16-Jun Fri

 
 

17-Jun Sat

 
 

18-Jun Sun

 
 

19-Jun Mon

 

20-Jun Tue

 

21-Jun Wed

 

22-Jun Thu

 

Ongoing maybe not music

submitted by redditduk to singaporemusicchat [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 08:46 MummyCroc I am a government employee in Zimbabwe and I turned 34 this week (TW: Mentions of suicide)

Occupation – Government employee
Age – 34
Location – Zimbabwe
My salary – $500 (paid monthly)
Side Gig Income – $0
Other income – negligible amounts from dividends received from my stock portfolio that I re-invest
Housemates – 4 (husband P, 6 year old L, 4 year old E and nanny F. My nephew M is around and makes appearances too)
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Assets and Liabilities
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Equity $60,000 fully paid off
Retirement Balance ?? I contribute monthly, and employer matches fully. But because of changes in currency and hyperinflation, I don’t really count this as an asset
Savings $1700 (went down due to travelling trying to get my passport done since it expired)
Current account balance $660 Includes my mum's money since I'm managing her financial affairs while she's abroad
Loan from employer $130 I took a personal loan from work, because the interest rates are lower than rate of inflation and repayment is over 18 months. Loan was used to make improvements on our house, and what wasn’t used, I bought shares on our stock exchange, due to hyperinflation, the amount I owe in US$ has gone down
Investments (shares in various counters on our local stock exchanges) $1,186
Car $4,000 Based on current resale value. Car was bought secondhand for cash
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Income progression- (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/vbbb7s/i_live_in_zimbabwe_making_3600year_and_i_just/)
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Expenses
This year, my husband and I decided that he would take on the bulk of our expenses since I do most of the domestic work/childcare. Expenses I pay will be indicated. My salary is now for my expenses, my investments and my savings, and spoiling the kids. Husband caters for the family basics. There was a point last year when I felt my husband wasn’t as invested in the family because he barely did anything financially. By having him cater for all expenses, he is now definitely involved and invested. My husband’s income is just about the same as mine, slightly higher at some times.
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My Expenses
Expense Amount /period Note
Car insurance and licensing $300/annum This is due in March, and I pay for the entire year
Petrol $60/month
Electricity $10/month
Airtime/data $20/month
Groceries $60/month This is for additional groceries such as bread, veg and fruit bought during the month
Kids’ clothes $40/month I’m trying to build up their winter wardrobe so I try to buy them something each month
Makeup/clothes/toiletries/ supplements/hair $30/month I do not us this much monthly though
Water $15/month Based on last bill received in April. We do not get water consistently so bills are infrequent
Donations $20/month Ad hoc donations to a soup kitchen, and maternal health fun
Stock market investment $50/month May invest more or less, but I do try to buy shares every payday
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Household Expenses (paid by P)
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Expense Amount /period Note
Groceries $200/month Bulk grocery shopping of staple food items and toiletries
LP Gas $30/approx. every 2 months We buy when it runs out. Usually every 2 months depending on how bad the power supply is
Medical $15/month For OTC meds (painkiller, cough syrup, antacid stocked for emergencies) and any prescriptions
Pet expenses $60/ twice a year For vaccinations and checkups for 4 dogs. Pet food is covered under groceries
School fees for the kids $347/ term One kid has fees paid every month, the other every 3 months
Nanny $80/month Less than before as both kids are now in school fulltime, and nanny is there to get them ready for school and care after school for 3 hours.
DSTV subscription $37/month
Transport for kids to/from school $60/month L gets picked up and dropped off at home daily, E is dropped off after school
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Previous MDs - (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/vbbb7s/i_live_in_zimbabwe_making_3600year_and_i_just/) and (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/yc801g/i_am_33_years_old_and_i_just_graduated_with_my/)
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MD Q&A
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I have a BSc in Accounting, a Masters in Accounting, and a Postgraduate Diploma in Taxation. My parents both have Masters degrees, and in my family, the bare minimum acceptable for education was getting a Bachelors. My mother paid for my undergraduate degree, and I paid cash for my postgraduate studies.
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Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents divorced when I was very young. My dad is the wealthier of the two, my mum has always been middle-class. My mum brought me up with very little financial help from my dad, he only covered tuition and healthcare until I turned 18. My mum catered for everything else. My mum taught me how to look for bargains, how to save and invest, and also how to sometimes enjoy your money.
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If you have, when did you move out of your parents'/guardians' house?
I would say I moved out at 26 when I got my current job. I had moved out when I got my first fulltime job, but moved back home when that contract ended
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At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
At 26 again. That's when I earned enough to cover all my bills without needing help. My husband P covers some aspects of my financial life, and my mum occasionally helps out with stuff for her grandchildren.
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What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked as a receptionist at my mum's law firm after finishing my A Levels (age 18) while waiting to start university. My mum gave me the job to keep me occupied and out of mischief, lol.
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Do you worry about money now?
I worry about building generational wealth for my children. I want to make sure they will be set for life as adults. I do worry about money because hyperinflation is eroding my earnings and retirement dramatically. This is my second time losing my retirement. My mum and in laws are losing their retirement for the third time, so honestly our old age looks bleak if we do not invest outside of work pensions.
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Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I receive negligible dividends from the shares I own, lol.
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Day 1
0430 – I’m woken up by loadshedding. I sigh, rollover, and sleep some more
0600 – Alarm goes off. I turn it off, enjoy cuddles from P and finally get out of bed. Our water tanks ran out 4 days ago, and council has not yet deigned to give us water, so we rely on P’s parents and friends to give us water. I get my water that was warming up on the stove, and take a quick bucket bath. I moisturize, do my brows, throw my lace wig on (I cut my hair in January, and I’m at a really awkward stage where my hair looks bad when I wear it out all day) and get dressed. It’s cold in the mornings so I put on winter stockings and a black and white chevron patterned dress, nude ballet pumps plus my warm jacket. I get E from the couch where he was watching Cocomelon and my lunch bag out of the kitchen and we head off to his school. After dropping off E, I go to the office. No electricity means no elevator, so I go up the stairs. I see my boss’s boss and greet him as we do the ZESA (local electricity company) sponsored workout. I log in to the work register, fill up my kettle, and settle down to check out my work email. Nothing urgent came through overnight, so I go into my personal email. The wig company I patronize has given me a code for my birthday, and I’m wondering if I should pull the trigger on my cart. I decide to do a report while thinking this through.
My mum is currently working out of the country, so I am managing her local finances/obligations while she’s away. I remember I have to buy the prepaid electricity token for my childhood home as well as for the house she lives in when she’s working in the country. I spend $23 on electricity for both houses (mum’s money so doesn’t count)
1030 – After doing some firefighting and office gossip I have my breakfast. Today its rice, peas and 2 fried eggs. I sprinkle some peri-peri Aromat on top since I don’t have a sauce/gravy ad I have been craving spicy food lately. I also pop my multivitamin and supplements. I check my team’s work and send back anything that needs correcting. I also generate the multiple reports my boss expects from me. I suddenly remember I need to claim my allowance for performing a role that is higher than my actual position at work. I quickly complete the form, and send it to my boss for his signature. The extra money from this is what I use to fund my stock market investments. I also remind my team to send a report to me for consolidation by noon.
12.00 – I do a major push of all my work due today so I can relax after lunch. I compile my reports and set them ready to send. I also finish my first 2 litres of water of the day, and cue up the next 2 litres
1300 – Its lunchtime, and my work bestie and I head out around town**. I find shorts that L would fit and buy 2 pairs for $10**. We head back to the office and I have caramel popcorn for lunch. Then I remember I forgot to have my afternoon meds, oops. Anyway, more work before heading to an audit meeting
1630 – The audit meeting is finally over, and I rush to shut down my computer, pack up my things and go home. I have an agreement with my manager that as long as I make up for the hour, by either coming early or skipping lunch, I can leave work at 4pm. I had a total hysterectomy end of last year so I still can’t manage driving in heavy traffic. I arrive home, make the bed (P had not made it when he went to work), and harvest chilies from our garden that have ripened. I also harvest a local herb used as a flu remedy and lemongrass, so I can brew up a tea/tisane for the flu affected people in my house. I also pack L’s lunch for tomorrow, a pie, a naartjie and juice. It’s also F’s payday, so I give her US$80 (P gave me this money).
E says he is hungry so I feed him sadza and sour milk by his request. I multitask covering L’s school textbook while supervising his homework and watching Married to Real Estate and the Great British Bake Off. I then have my dinner of sadza, greens and beef. I have a chat with the kids about their day at school. P gets home.
1900 – P and my nephew M go to fetch water from P’s friend’s house. The city council still hasn’t opened up our water supply. I do some French on Duolingo while the boys wreak havoc in their playroom. I read L and E their bedtime stories and put them to bed. I decide to do my hair in cornrows while watching Masterchef Australia. They get home and I help them carry water indoors. I remember that when power comes back I need to boil tripe on the stove, so I cut it up, put it in the pot with water, salt and garlic, and place it on the electric stove. We have serious loadshedding these days, so we have a gas stove and solar power to tide us over. I take a quick bath and change into my pyjamas. While P watches TV, I read Wild Sweet Love by Beverly Jenkins and continue to do my hair in cornrows.
2200 – My arms are tired and I’m only halfway through with the cornrows. I give up and go to bed with P.
Total spent - $10
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Day 2
0600 – I hear crying. E is in a bad mood today. I turn off my alarm, and go to see what’s wrong. E does not want to get dressed for school. I sigh, and help F dress him while he throws a massive tantrum. E is dressed, so I go do my morning routine of shower, moisturize, contact lenses, and eyebrow makeup. Today, I wear a green dress I took from my mum, black tights, nude ballet flats and a black and white coat. E gets put into the car by F, and starts crying for porridge. We are already late, so he learns that the consequence of refusing to eat his porridge on time is to go to school without having his porridge. It’s not a big issue though, as he gets fed at school. So I lock the doors and windows and drive him to school as he throws a tantrum for the entire 10 minute drive. I shove him into the school gate and head to work.
It’s another ZESA sponsored stair workout today. I log into the register, and fill up my kettle with water. I switch on my computer, check my work email and send off client emails to my team for their response. My personal email has an annual report from one of the companies I have shares in so I check out if there’s a dividend this year. I own a negligible number of shares in the company though, but 28c per share is quite impressive. I check to see if my stock exchange wallet has been credited with the money I transferred there so I can buy more shares. It still hasn’t so I send a follow up email o the enquiries desk at the stock exchange. I do have a stockbroker, but I prefer doing my trades myself. I also do some French on Duolingo before 8am.
0830 – Our HR is in a tizzy because people are late for work. I don’t make a big deal out of it usually, because salaries are shit and people are demotivated. As long as my team shows up and does some work, I’m ok. I approve some work, and warn my team about coming in a bit too late. I also tell a teammate that she will have to cover for me on Monday as I am taking the day off. Our internet connectivity is shit so I can’t log into our system to check some stuff. My work bestie gives me avocados from her house. I almost cry because I have been craving avocados, but been too cheap to buy them.
1000 – I have a really bad sore throat. I am also hungry since I haven’t had breakfast yet. I jot down my shopping list for the weekend and head to Pick ‘n’ Pay to buy carrots, green peppers, tomatoes, lemons, cheese, polony and bread. I also buy my breakfast/lunch, which is rice, beans, ox liver and egg salad**. It all cost $10**. I leave my shopping in my car, and go to the office to wolf down my food, and take my multivitamin and painkiller. I also receive my wigs that I bought in May. Perfect timing, as I want to wear a new wig tomorrow for our girls’ day out.
I do some more work, and remind my team to send me the information I need for my daily reports.
1300 – I go out to buy a few items I didn’t find in Pick ‘n’ Pay earlier**. I go to Spar and buy peas, eggs, soft drinks for the outing tomorrow and a sausage roll. Total cost is $10**. The outing has been deemed kid friendly, so I needed drinks for the boys to have tomorrow. I get back into the office, and spend the rest of the lunch hour working.
1600 – It’s finally time to go home. I send my email to handover work issues for the person who will take over my role on Monday while I am on leave. I also send my out of office email, and head home. The kids are at their grandmother’s, so I take a leisurely bath, put on my pyjamas and eat dinner. Then I watch Masterchef Australia until P and E get home. I also get in some French Duolingo practice
2000 – P goes out with his friends, so I snuggle up on the couch with E and watch TV. I put E to bed, read him his bedtime story and kiss him good night. I finally finish season 13 of Masterchef Australia, and move on to My Kitchen Rules Australia. I love Australian reality shows, ngl.
2200 – I go to bed P gets home and tells me some bad news about a friend of ours. I feel very sad for him. He cuddles me and we sleep.
Total spent - $20
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Day 3
0700 – I wake up feeling like a truck ran me over. I get out of bed, and get ready to hand-wash our laundry. We still have no running water so we can’t use the washing machine. I play music while doing my laundry to keep me motivated
0900 – Laundry has been hung out to dry. F has cooked potato curry, so I boil eggs and water. I have my breakfast of potato curry, egg, multivitamin and coffee. Once I’m done, I give E a bath and dress him. I also bath, moisturize, do my brows and get dressed. I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt today as my friends and I ae supposed to take our kids out for a playdate. Then I receive a message that the outing is cancelled since one of our group is really sick. I try to think of something I can do with E, since L is out having fun with his grandmother. I do my Swahili Duolingo practice.
1100 – The welder comes to do some work on our garage door. I monitor the work for a bit, and then my nephew takes over. E starts really bugging me to go out. So I put on my headband wig and sneakers, and pack a cooler bag with snacks and drinks. We head into town and I buy myself some ciders for $9. These are for me to drink when the mood strikes me. E wants to go to a resort by the lake so I oblige him. We pay $8 for our entrance. He goes to play on the swings, and I take pictures of him having fun. Another family turns up, and one of his classmates is among them. He’s so happy, and goes to play with his friend. I watch him running around.
1500 – I get a call from my friend that she’s in town with my cake. This cake was meant for the cancelled outing. I pack up our stuff, hustle E into the car and drive back into town. I let out some colourful swear words when I realise I forgot to get our change of $2. Anyway**, I meet up with my friend and get the cake, and pay her $30**. It’s so pretty. I call my MIL while still in town to find out what time she will be there so I can pick up L. She says it will be an hour, so E and I head home to drop off the cake so it doesn’t melt in my AC-less car.
1600 – We are back in town waiting for L and MIL. E wants an ice cream so I buy him one for $0.50 using money I had in my Innbucks wallet. MIL calls and asks me to head over to where she is to pick L up since she can’t leave yet. E and I get there. MIL gets me sadza and goat tripe stew, which I eat a bit of to be polite even though I am not hungry. When I’m done, I pack up the kids and drive home. I bath and change into my pyjamas.
1800 – I feed the kids, and we play until their weekend bedtime of 8pm. I read them their bedtime stories and tuck them in. I watch TV and iron my morning laundry while having a gin and juice until 9pm, and head to read in bed. P and my nephew arrive home from their amateur soccer league match and subsequent outing with the boys. I fall asleep soon after.
Total spent - $49.50
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Day 4
0700 – I’m woken up by L demanding that I come and play with them. I am still sleepy so I fob him off.
0900 - F knocks on the door and tells us she is off to church. I finally get out of bed and get dressed. I see the boys playing relatively peacefully so I let them continue with their antics. In the kitchen, I find F had cooked breakfast, and since I’m starving, I heat up water for coffee. L surprisingly isn’t hungry so I serve up breakfast for P and me. I have my daily multivitamin. P heads out to go fetch water, while I bath, change and hang out with the kids. I also do my French Duolingo practice for the day
1200 – I have played with the dogs and kids, and I am exhausted. I collapse onto the couch and watch MKR Australia. P gets home, and naps on the couch. I give the kids haircuts and baths.
1700 – L is hungry and really wants cake, so I feed the kids a dinner of sadza and sour milk. Then some cake for dessert. I also pack L’s school lunch, which will be a polony sandwich, a cupcake and juice. The kids play until its bedtime at 7pm. The usual routine, bedtime stories and tuck in is done
2000 – P and I watch a movie while having some alcoholic drinks.
2200 – Bedtime for us
Total spent - $0
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Day 5
0600 – It’s my birthday today. I am going all out celebrating myself since TW I tried unaliving myself twice in the past year. L wishes me a happy birthday before he goes to school. I get birthday messages from my mum, dad, SILs, and friends. I also get a call from my brother, his wife and their son, and they sing to me. I feel very loved today. P goes to drop off E at school today so I can sleep in
0800 – I am finally up and hungry. I cook a quick breakfast of boiled eggs, and a bean curry. P takes my car to get serviced, while I bath, moisturize, contact lenses, do a full face of makeup and get dressed for the day. Today I wear a tie-dyed cutout mini-dress and sneakers, and my wavy headband wig
1300 – P is home and he drives me to a hotel outside town near a renowned tourist site in our country. We have a platter of fried fish, chicken strips, pork strips, fries, and a salad to share and multiple Savannah Drys while there. It’s really nice getting to reconnect after a very tumultuous year in our marriage. P pays.
1700 – We drive around the area, before heading home. Once we get home, P and my nephew go on a hunt for water, while I feed the kids. P and I head off to take our showers. I remember why I don’t do a full face of makeup when it take a long time to get the makeup off my face.
1900 – The family sings happy birthday, and we eat cake. Birthday gifts were gin and chocolate. I hustle the boys off to bed. No story today, as they went to bed later than usual. P watches TV while I read my novel.
2100 – Bedtime for the grownups
Total spent - $0
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Day 6
0530 – I wake up and lie in bed for a bit. Then I read my novel some more.
0620 – I am up, and take my bath, moisturize, do my brows and get dressed. It’s cold this morning, so I wear a yellow dress with black polka dots, black tights and ankle boots. I pack up the cake I’m giving to my colleagues, as well as my water bottle. E and I head out. I drop E off at school, and go to the office. I log into the work register, turn on my computer, and check my emails. There are a few pressing issues I need to get up to speed with. One of my colleagues gives me $50 as a birthday gift. I also hand out the cake to my team.
0900 – Work is pretty quiet today, so I update my MD. I also receive news that one of my nephews is getting married. He is not that much younger than me, and could be my younger brother, but it makes me feel so old.
Note on my family: In our culture, even distant relatives are given close relationships so the large number of nephews/nieces is from those relationships. It’s a big thing done to maintain close family bonds. I have 4 actual (in a Western sense) nephews and nieces who are all under the age of 6.
1000 – I head to the supermarket and buy bread, onions, carrots, pork chops, pork trotters and my breakfast and lunch. This costs $25. The meat is the main cost driver here. I have a sausage roll, my multivitamin, supplement and milk for breakfast. I remember that I need to check if my stock exchange wallet was credited, ugh. The website is refusing to load and I’m very frustrated. I finally log in and see the amount is still not credited. I email and send a tweet to the stock exchange. Hopefully the tweet will get them to start moving.
1200 – My boss is mad. One member of my team left his desk without informing me and there’s an urgent matter. I was about to go downstairs to give P the groceries, so I stick around for a bit before committing the same offence as my subordinate, lol. I quickly get back into my office and check on work, sign some papers and letters, and clear out my emails.
1300 – My work bestie has to run other errands at lunch so I decide to stay in the office. I check my personal email and see I have received a dividend of $0.27, lol. The share price will probably drop soon, so I will buy more shares in this counter if I can get them to increase my shareholding. My goal for this year is to breach the 10,000 share mark for one counter. I suddenly remember I have work to do, so I use my lunch hour to do the work, and then take a quick break to eat my lunch of fries and a sausage and do some Swahili Duolingo practice.
1500 – I am thinking of going home when one of my team members calls me to deal with an angry client. I go to the office, and find out it’s a surprise birthday party from my team. I am so happy, lol. We have more cake, and there’s also fruit and juice. I head home feeling so appreciated with even more cake.
1700 – P and my nephew go out to get water. I warm up my bath water, and give the kids their dinner. Today its rice and croc meat. I make L’s lunch for tomorrow, a toasted polony sandwich and juice. I also pack my lunch, rice, a fried egg and peas. And some cake for my work bestie’s kids. I take my bath; change into my pyjamas and hound E to eat his food. If we let that kid be, he would probably live on the bits of our souls he sucks out daily by being stubborn. I am feeling nauseous so I have plain rice with a bit of avocado. The kids watch cartoons, while I do some more Swahili on Duolingo.
1900 – Bedtime for the kids. Today, there’s no demand for a bedtime story, so I just tuck them in and tell them I love them. I read my novel as increasingly feel more nauseated. I end up going to hurl my guts out. P comes home and finds me lying limply on the bed. He gives me a cuddle, and goes to eat his dinner. I get up but smell fish, and run back to throw up. If I hadn’t had a hysterectomy, I would be doing a pregnancy test ASAP.
2100 – I go to bed, and lie in bed for a bit, before finally drifting off.
Total spent - $25
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Day 7
0500 – I wake up feeling nauseated again. Ugh, this reminds me of having hyperemesis while pregnant. I put my water on to heat and get back in bed to read some more.
0600 – E comes to lie on our bed. I get out of bed, and go throw up. I get my bath water, take my bath, moisturize and put my contacts in. I look like a reanimated corpse this morning. I do my brows to try bring a bit of life to my face and get dressed. It’s very misty and cold today so I put on warm brown tights, a long black dress, my warm jacket and ballet flats. I grab my lunch and the cake, pop E into the car and head out. Visibility is extremely low, so I drive slowly. I don’t know why people like surprising other drivers by having their cars pop out of the mist without switching on their headlights. I successfully avoid the drivers who hate life and drop E off at school before heading to work.
0700 – I am in the office, and I log into the register, before turning on my computer and checking my work email. Not too much in there, so I check my personal email. My stock exchange wallet has finally been credited with the $100. I also ponder whether I should pull the trigger on a V-part wig.
I do my weekly report, and start doing some boring work in the system. I realise I didn’t save the work I did yesterday, so I have to re-do it, so I can have the list of error messages to send to ICT.
0830 – Everyone is in the office, so I do some reshuffling of duties, so that essential areas are covered while one of my colleagues is on leave. I give the cake to work bestie, who tells me how much her daughter was excited over the cake yesterday. It’s now time for me to put my head down and really focus on knocking out the system work today. I also log into an online training, and I listen while doing my work. My mum also deposits money for my birthday gift and to spoil her grandkids.
1000 – I log into my stock exchange account and buy shares for $99.14 (doesn’t count as spending, as the money was moved before the MD started). The deadline for other departments to submit their weekly reports to me for consolidation has passed so I start following up. One department is a big problem as they always send their report late. Le sigh. I draft a very passive aggressive email to them. I also decide not to buy the wig and instead ask the person making me my custom earrings that I got myself for my birthday to bill me the rest of the money so I can pay and move the remainder of the money in my account into savings. Our currency has taken an enormous hit in the last week, and is free falling dramatically. I’d rather keep USD cash than money in my account at this point. The training finally ends.
1100 – I’m getting hungry so I go warm up my lunch, sprinkle on peri peri Aromat and dig in. Yum. I also have my multivitamin and supplement. A lady who sells local snacks comes in. She persuades me to buy maputi (corn nuts mixed with roasted peanuts) for $0.50. I buy them for my afternoon snack. I end up sending the report with missing statistics, and tell the department to send directly to the compiler, as they were late. That was a very aggressive email tbh. I’m still hungry, so I munch on my maputi, leaving the peanuts because I don’t feel like eating them lately.
1200 – I see a missed call from a number I don’t know. I call and it turns out they had sent money to my mobile wallet mistakenly. I check the mobile wallet and it shows it had an extra $11. I send the money back to the person. Times are too tough to keep people’s money
1400 – I snack on a few skittles instead of having more food. I just want something to entertain my mouth, I’m not hungry at all. I review more work and drink more water. The jeweler has sent the payment request for the earrings. I pay $100 (total spent on the earrings comes to $200, which is worth it for sterling silver custom made Jewellery. I use $50 of the birthday money from my mum to cover for part of this expense)
1600 – Finally time to go home. I shut down my computer, and drive home. Once I’m home, I put on my bath water, and help L do his homework. Then I do some Swahili Duolingo practice and pack L’s lunch for tomorrow. He requested maize (corn on the cob), a boiled egg and a naartjie. His wish is my command for once. I also pack my lunch, a boiled egg, peanut butter sandwich and a bit of birthday cake. The jeweler sends pictures of the final product. They are absolutely gorgeous. Happy 34th birthday to me!!!
1800 – I serve the kids their dinner, and go to take my bath. P sends a text that he will be home late as they are working late today. I have my own dinner while persuading E to eat his food
1900 – Bedtime for the kids. I read them their bedtime stories, tuck them in and tell them I love them. Then I go to watch TV. I’m catching up on Married to Real Estate, Food Factory and Man Vs Food. You can tell that reality TV is my jam.
2100 – I decide to have some decaf black coffee and cake as my bedtime snack. P and my nephew arrive home. They are later than they thought they would be because nephew dropped his phone in the middle of the highway and they were searching for it. Because nephew’s ancestors were on the job, they found it intact. It’s a big deal because this is a major highway and huge trucks use that road constantly. I chat with P as he has his dinner and takes his bath.
2200 – Cuddles and bedtime for us
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Total spent today – $100
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Total spent this week – $204.50
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Spending by categories
Food & Drink – $84.50
Home & Health – $0
Clothing & Beauty – $110
Transportation – $0
Fun & Entertainment – $10
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Reflections on this week’s spending
The spending is pretty much about normal for me tbh (excluding the cake and earrings). I had quite a bit of petrol in the tank so I didn’t need to top up my tank this week. The converted US$ prices are a bit inaccurate since our currency had a big drop this week, and most of my spending is in local currency. I could reign in my spending a bit, and focus more on investing. However, I do enjoy using my money to bring joy to my kids and myself. Particularly myself after the absolutely shitty year I had.
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2023.06.07 14:01 dreftzg [Daily News] Are These New Seiko Chronos Ugly Or Not?, Breguet Has Two New Military Chronographs, French Watchmaker Teams Up With French Carmaker For French Race and Dan Henry Is Back With New Colors And Same Price

Welcome back, it's Wednesday and I'll just come out and say it - that Seiko is ugly... Change my mind.

What's new

1/
Seiko Adds Four Completely New Chronographs To The Prospex Collection And Four Limited Editions To The Presage Craftsmanship Series
In 1999 Seiko launched a limited edition they called the Sportura Kinetic Chronograph. It was a funky watch that used four subdials to display the time and chronograph functions. Just looking at it and you feel the angst of the end of the millennium and the cheesy futurism (not to be confused with neo futurism in architecture led by Norman Foster, Zaha Hadid and Santiago Calatrava) that permeated industrial design of the time - from Oakley glasses to Jnco jeans. There’s no easy way to say this, but it’s an ugly watch. I can appreciate the experiment. But come on.
However, Seiko believes that the four dial layout of the Kinetic was pleasing to the eye. That’s why they decided to recreate it in four new solar chronographs that they are adding to the Prospex collection, marking the company’s association with the World Athletics Championships to be held in Budapest, Hungary, in August. Officially called the Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph, all four watches sport a new movement with the Seiko Caliber 8A50, a 1/100-second chronograph with a +/- 15-seconds per month precision rating.
The Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph watch is 42mm-wide, 12.9mm-thick, and its lug-to-lug distance is 48.3mm. All four watches have the same case and bracelet design but in different executions and ever-so-slightly different prices and naming schemes. I could go on into detail about the dials and colors, but it’s all just a bit confusing. You can hop on over here if you would like to know more.
Two of the models will be limited edition of 4,000 each and two will be regular production models. The Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph watch prices range from 890 Euros to 970 Euros, and all four versions will be available from July 2023. Regular readers of the newsletter will know I keep things very chipper here and don’t pass judgement. But these new Seiko’s are just baffling to me. They look like those Diesel watches you buy at the mall. Am I wrong?
Thankfully, Seiko has another announcement for today. While they have shown these watches previously, they are now starting to sell these stunning Presage Craftsmanship Series watches. Marking the 110th anniversary of its first wristwatch, the Laurel, Seiko is putting out two pairs of these limited edition pieces, with each featuring a dial made by a dedicated artisan or craft workshop through a traditional Japanese decorative technique — enamel, urushi lacquer, Arita porcelain, and shippō enamel. All four models boast a new case shape, a fresh dial aesthetic, and an in-house automatic movement. And they are now hitting the market.
And despite Seiko’s price increases for recent releases, these new editions seem to align with their predecessors. The white enamel SPB393 retails for €1,650, the brown urushi SPB395 for €2,000, the ivory Arita porcelain SPB397 for €2,000, and the blue shippō enamel SPB399 for €2,250.
2/
Breguet Gives Us Two Redesigned Variations Of The Classic Chronograph With The Type XX And Type 20
Just the other day I linked to a great article on Type 20, the references issued by the French military in the 1950s. There were many brands who stepped up to produce these Type 20 watches, but the reference has stuck around to be synonymous with one brand in particular - Breguet. They have been making the Type 20 for years now, with occasional updates, but now Breguet is unveiling the new Type XX and Type 20 – a civilian and military-inspired take on the classic design - which is the biggest change to the line.
Despite at first glance looking like it’s two of the same watches with different dials, the Type 20 and Type XX are actually different watches. Both watches come in the same steel case that measures 42mm wide and 14.1mm thick with bidirectional steel bezels and matching lume pips. But this is pretty much where the similarities stop. The Type 20 has a military inspired dial with mint green lume and syringe hands, while the Type XX is a civilian version with a creamy yellow lume and alpha hands.
The Type 20 and Type XX both have a new self-winding movement, the Calibre 728 for the civilian version and Calibre 7281 for the military version. Each movement has a column wheel, vertical clutch, 5Hz frequency, and flyback functionality with 60 hours of power reserve, plus an inverted in-line lever escapement with a flat silicon balance spring for increased durability, longevity, and magnetic resistance.
Why two different calibers? The difference lies in dial layout and how useful it would be in military or civilian applications. On the military version, you only have two registers, with a 30-minute totalizer at three o'clock, now larger than the 60-second totalizer at nine o'clock. Meanwhile, the civilian version has a 15-minute totalizer at three o'clock, a 12-hour totalizer at six o'clock, and running seconds at nine o'clock.
This is not a cheap watch. It will run you $18,000. But it might just be one of the best vintage revivals we have seen in a year full of vintage revivals.
3/
French Watchmaker Yema Teams Up With Alpine French Racing Team To Mark The Most French Race With Five New Watches
One of the most legendary races in the world starts on Saturday and ends on Sunday. Yes, it’s the 24 hours of Le Mans. The race is, of course, one of the most recognisable french things, alongside the croissant and hating tourists. You know what else is very french? Alpine, the legendary car manufacturer that gained it’s fame with the quirky A110 and is currently doing really well (under Renault ownership) with its successor, also called the A110. Alpine will be present at the 24h of Le Mans With their Endurance Team. If only there was a watchmaker that could join in, making it a French hat trick. There is. It’s Yema. Yema has made five new watches to mark Alpine’s stint at Le Mans - the Yema Rallygraf A470 Limited Edition and four Rallygraf Alpine Endurance Team Automatic models of which one is mechanical while the other three are powered by the Seiko VK64 meca-quartz movement.
The Yema Rallygraf A470 Limited Edition takes all the right cues from 70s racing chronographs. The stainless steel case is 39mm wide and 12mm thick without the double-domed sapphire crystal. The solid caseback shows the Alpine Endurance Team logo and the limitation of the watch. The dial is finished in a gradient-blue colour, Alpine’s signature color, with a vintage dashboard-inspired bicompax layout and Alpine’s logo on the chronograph seconds hand. Inside the watch is the Valjoux 7753 and the watch comes on an appropriate black leather rally strap with a steel pin buckle. This watch will be limited to 470 pieces and can be pre-ordered for a price of USD 2,190 with delivery expected in September 2023.
This runs at a frequency of 28,800vph and delivers 48 hours of power reserve. The watch comes on a black leather rally strap with a steel pin buckle. Limited to 470 pieces, tying in with the car, it can be pre-ordered for a price of EUR 2,190 with delivery expected in September 2023.
Then there’s the meca-quartz variants. They take the same case as the Rallygraf and give it three variations - white dial with a blue outside minute track, a cream dial with a black outside minute track or a black dial with a cream outside minute track. All of these are also available for preorder now for EUR 399 and will be delivered in September 2023.
Yema also announced a second mechanical watch made in collaboration with Alpine, the Rallygraf Alpine Endurance Team Automatic. This will officially be unveiled this coming Saturday at the Circuit de la Sarthe, during the racing weekend of the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Although we don’t know all the details at this moment, we can see it’s made of stainless steel, comes on a multi-link bracelet or black leather strap and has a black dial. The bidirectional rotating bezel can be used to calculate speeds, in combination with the inner ‘Temps Ecoule’ flange in white and blue. It is powered by the in-house Calibre YEMA2000 and will cost USD 990.
4/
The Dan Henry 1970 44mm is back with new colours and the same, affordable price
You might know Dan Hendy as the microbrand that has been pumping out vintage inspired watches since 2016. What you might not know is that they made their name with the Dan Henry 1970 44mm Automatic Diver, the first of their watches to feature an automatic movement. While it might not seem like a big deal, it was for Dan Hanry and the shoppers in the sub $500 range. While Dan Henry serviced it’s customers by providing good value for money with quartz movements, the 1970 44mm Automatic Diver was the first time they offered a mechanical movement at such an affordable price. It sold out instantly and now, four years later, they are back with a limited edition of 1970 pieces.
It’s a very big watch. Very big. The heavy stainless steel super compressor style case measures 44mm in diameter and is 14.8mm thick with a 50.5mm lug-to-lug length. Despite these large dimensions, and with all other manufacturers fighting to go smaller, people still love this watch. They love it enough for it to go for over retail on the secondary market, which is not common for a watch in this pricepoint. Both of the crowns, one for rotating the inner-bezel and one for adjusting the time, screw into the case, giving it 200m water resistance.
The dials get a contrasting pop of color on the outskirts. There’s the black and orange, as well as the black and off-white with a black case and blue with white color combinations. Each version comes with its own colour-matching FKM rubber tropic strap. To keep the price low, the watches are powered by the Seiko NH35. Not the best movement in the world, but it gets the job done for an exceptionally low price.
The new Dan Henry 1970 44mm Automatic Diver is limited to 1,970 pieces, available from Dan Henry and costs $310.
5/
Bamford Teams Up With Land Rover For The LR002 Limited Edition
Somehere near the end of last year, Land Rover designed their first watch. They called it the LR001 and they turned to Bamford to put the watch into production. It was a great looking field watch made of titanium and all in shades of grey, with a decent price and limited to 100 pieces so they all sold out very fast. Now, Bamford London and Land Rover are bringing it back with an updated, equally limited, version in all black called the LR002.
The LR002 is pretty much the same watch as the LR001, except for the color. While not a fan of black watches, this isn’t a bad thing, as it gives you a chance to buy the sold out Land Rover watch. What is bad is the price, but more on that later. The case measures 40mm wide and 13.25mm thick, and is made out of DLC coated titanium. It has a shape that resembles a field watch but much more modern and has fixed bars. From photos, due to the thick case and fixed bars, this watch looks to wear much larger than it actually is.
The dial seems to be much more interesting than the case. It has a sandwich construction with the top part having a matte black surface and the underside being filled with white lume. And by alternating circular and oblong cutouts, there’s a dynamic look to the dial. Inside the watch is the same movement as in the LR001, the Selita SW200-1B, and it’s delivered on a leather NATO-style bracelet.
The LR002 will have a run of just 100 pieces that are exclusively sold through Hodinkee. At the time of writing there are still pieces available for sale at a price of $1,700. And that’s the biggest issue. The LR001 sold for about $1,300 and the only difference between the two watches is the DLC coating. Is it worth the price difference?
6/
The Casio A120 Is The Best Pairing For Stranger Things, But Do We Need It?
The immense popularity of Stranger Thing undoubtedly lies in it’s 80s nostalgia that reminded us all of our childhoods. While playing to our good memories, it also roped in new generations by picking the best the decade had to offer and presenting it as something cool. That’s why you have a bunch of kids out there listening to Kate Bush and Metallica, while wearing Casio watches and buying VHS tapes. So it only makes perfect sense that Casio would team up with Stranger Things for a limited edition watch, and what better reference to do it with then the A120. This is the Casio x Stranger Things A120WEST-1A.
The watch is a classic Casio A120, with a 33.5mm x 40.7mm rectangle case and since it’s plastic it weighs only 25 grams. It’s not filled with a bunch of functions, but it does have a chronograph, alarm and calendar and you get three years of battery life. There’s a number of Stranger Things references on the watch - there’s a silhouette of the series’ demogorgon monster beneath the digital display and the LED backlight flickers and rapidly blinks just like the surfacing of a demogorgon in the show. Once lit, you can see the watermark of an upside down Stranger Things logo.
Casio has not announced when the watch will be available or how much it will cost, but you can keep an eye out on it here. Is this a nice homage to a good TV show, or just another example of over-consumerism and corporate media properties slapping their name everywhere, without actually making a meaningfully authentic version of the watch?
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On hand - a selection of reviews

1/
A review of Monta’s current flagship dress watch, the Noble
2/
Hands on with the 39mm and 42mm versions of the Hanhart 414 ES Flyback
3/
A week with the Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore limited edition in pink gold and titanium
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Watch Worthy - A look at an offbeat, less known watch you might actually like

Dryden is a go-everywhere-do-anything watch with plenty of options
Great dials are always appreciated, but no matter how good the dial is, it doesn’t matter if the watch isn’t wearable. The excellent design choices found on the dial of the Heartlander follow through to the case. Crafted from stainless steel the 38mm-wide case has a lovely 46mm lug-to-lug distance and is only 11.2mm-thick from solid steel caseback to domed sapphire crystal. These dimensions are in the Goldilocks region for an everyday watch for me and my ~6.5-inch wrist. The cases are predominantly brushed except for a thin highly polished bevel that flanks each side of the lugs.
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People loved the Seiko Alpinist giveaway! That's why I'm doing a new one. This time, we're giving away four Hamilton Khaki Field Automatics in a color of your choice. Head on over to the newsletter if you would like to enter.
If you would like to receive some additional watch-adjacent content, as well as this news overview, every morning Monday-Friday in the form of a newsletter feel free to subscribe. However, there is absolutely no need for you to subscribe, as all the news from the newsletter is posted here. It is only if you want to receive a couple of daily links that are not strictly watch-related and want to get this news overview in your inbox.
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2023.06.06 17:29 addictivesign Building the Nets roster for next season and beyond - long read

The front office decision makers now get to re-set the roster after the KD and Kyrie debacle is fully over. From now onwards they have control and therefore they are responsible for our future results and path to title contention. When we win they deserve the praise. If we fail to progress it's fair the decision makers should be held accountable and depending on performance they might be dismissed.
Sean Marks and ownership made two terrible mistakes around trade deadline/all-star break. The first mistake was unenforced. They gave a long term extension to HC Jacque Vaughn keeping him with the Nets through 2027.
Whatever you think of JV it was the wrong decision to extend him when Vaughn already had a contract through the end of 2024. A wiser GM would play out the rest of the season and consider how JV coached the reshaped roster. It didn't look promising from my point of view.
JV has been swept in successive first rounds of the play-offs.
JV used 11 different players in the 1Q! vs. Knicks on 2nd March, 2023. Many NBA coaches will go their entire coaching careers never playing 11 different players in the same game.
To give 11 players minutes in the first quarter alone tells me you don't know what you're doing strategically as a head coach. How can you learn anything about your roster doing that?
The second mistake the Nets brain-trust was a major misjudgement in the middle of the season. I can understand those people that don't blame them heavily. I imagine this came from ownership.
But the front office knew without KD and Ky and a very limited Ben Simmons that the Nets were not title contenders. They knew Houston was on course for a top 4 pick and therefore the threat of the pick swap was extinguished.
Yet they went all-in on making the play-offs. And we know how that turned out - swept by a not-fully healthy 76ers team and we struggled to score and through the series and there were barely any adjustments to improve our scoring. That's on the head coach.
I'm not saying we should have tanked but we could have got the 10th pick instead of the 22nd and still have played hard but given more minutes to Day'Ron and Cam Thomas. The way young players get better is to play through their mistakes and get reps with on court minutes.
You can add a quality player to the roster with the 10th pick. A player picked 22 if far less likely to have a major impact on the NBA.
Our roster going forward shows us to be in no-mans land. This is the worst place a team can be in the NBA. Too good to get high lottery picks yet never good enough to go beyond the first round of the play-offs. Ownership might be satisfied with that especially after all the superstar drama. Plus we can't tank because of the Harden trade.
We won't know how Ben Simmons will perform until we see him back on court. Will he be an anchor with his contract for two more seasons? Or can he be a productive member of the team with his point of attack D and outlet passing. I hope to see the return of agile Ben Simmons.
Spencer Dinwiddie is perhaps the biggest choice the Nets have to make and I would personally like to see him moved to a contender who could use him. If we could get back a mid-first round pick in this upcoming draft I make that trade instantly.
Sean Marks had the opportunity to give Dinwiddie an extension three years ago and instead let him walk to the Wizards, we helped him by doing a S&T. But Dinwiddie is 30 now and I can't see Marks giving him a lucrative, long term extension especially when he didn't do that for a young SD.
Royce O'Neil and DFS are both 30. Valuable wings on contending teams but far less important on rebuilding/reloading teams. Again first round pick offers should be accepted. There will be demand for them.
The Nets have a potential superstar on the roster in Cam Thomas. I know there is a huge number of fans that don't want to hear that but it's the truth. N.B - I said potential - I didn't say certain.
There is a video online called: The Brooklyn Nets NEED To Unleash Cam Thomas - watch it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xNryqxo1CU
It's a reminder of the promise Cam T has and his star level ability to score. Of course he needs to improve other aspects of his game, be a more willing passer, commit to D and learn the rotations but we do have a really young player who has the most important skill in the NBA at an elite level already.
I can't wait to see what Cam has worked on in off-season and how much better he will be in his third season. He improved his efficiency and made a jump as a sophomore. There are a lot of false narratives about Cam. Watch the video linked above.
Nic Claxton is coming into another contract year. He made a jump last year. If he continues to improve it will be essential to retain him on a long term contract. We need him to be able to score away from the basket for him to become a true two-way player. A mid-range J would be awesome.
Mikal Bridges is the face of the franchise and now valued so highly by the Nets organisation because he is essentially what fans see most in what we got in exchange for KD.
He's on a bargain on a contract for another few years. We all love him but he's not a number one on a championship team, we don't yet know if he could be a number two on a title winning team. It definitely seems he has levels to go until he reaches his peak.
Mikal is in demand and apparently the first choice of Dame's to team up with in Portland. If the godfather offer of Shaedon Sharpe and the number 3 pick are offered we have to consider it. You might have two franchise cornerstones in that one transaction.
Cam Johnson - the other twin. He's a restricted free agent. I'm not hugely comfortable about him getting a $20 million plus per season contract, he's a good player for sure. But considering we also have to pay Claxton in a year we could have a high payroll with several good players earning $20m+ each but no-one considered a true star. You don't win play-off series with rosters like that.
With Monty Williams taking over as HC in Detroit perhaps he'll be after Cam in free agency. Houston seems interested in CJ too. If a package can be put together to get the 4th or 5th pick in the draft then we should break up the twins to do it. Otherwise match any offer as CJ is a restricted FA.
If Mikal is traded then of course you trade CJ too. And you hope to make a deal with Houston for them to return at least some of our own picks and swaps.
I don't think the Nets ownership want to rebuild from scratch so I expect us to hold onto Mikal at the very least.
Draft 2023
We need a point guard for the future and the player we should target is Anthony Black, a young Texan. He has a lot of Jason Kidd about him. Awesome court vision, can make any pass including the razzle dazzle highlight assist which gets the fans excited. He's an excellent defender at 6ft 7in and his deep shooting will continue to improve.
More importantly Black's personality is the best fit for this new younger team, he appears thoughtful and mature for such a young athlete.
We would have to trade into the top 10 to get AB but this guy could be our floor general for more than a decade and as we build an identity around D (Mikal runner up DPOY, Simmons runner up DPOY, Claxton coming for that DPOY trophy) Black can fit seamlessly into this team and be our point going forward.
Future Draft Picks
We have a ton of future first rounders. Suns in 2023, 2025, 2027, 2029 and the pick swap in 2028. Philly's top 7 protected 2027 first rounder, Dallas unprotected pick in 2029. While we don't control our own draft we have enough picks to make a bid for any superstar that becomes available.
I hope Sean Marks and Joe Tsai don't go superstar shopping so soon again after KD/Kyrie/Harden debacle. We know players like KAT and Trae Young could become available we really shouldn't want to be adding either of them. KAT's a fine shooting big man who doesn't have that Alpha in him. We know what Trae's ceiling is already.
We definitely should not trade for Dame, he's too old for our timeline and we don't want to pay him $60 million per season in a few years. His body appears to be breaking down now, it will likely lead to him missing more time.
The only two players I use all the draft capital on are two players not yet (and potentially never) available but in the NBA you never know what will happen and it is a players league and superstars get to move when they want.
Luka. We know he must be pissed at missing the play-offs. Dallas have not put a good enough team around him. They've made multiple personnel mistakes. His patience is running low if they don't have a successful upcoming season then he'll at least consider asking out. I reckon he'll be gone in 12-24 months from Dallas, just not sure whether it will be the Nets that get him.
Ant-Man. He's on his rookie contract but the Wolves are in a very tricky position because they're paying Gobert huge money and KAT has already signed a super-max topping out at over $60 million per year. When you consider they'll have to max-out Ant they'll have spent so much of their cap on just three players and they don't control their own draft to be able to add young talent on rookie contracts. The Wolves will have to be looking for bargains.
Ant might be looking at the bright lights of Brooklyn and sign his Q/O making him an unrestricted free agent at the end of his rookie deal. He'll make so much from endorsements in a big market. At that point you offer the motherlode of first rounders for him.
It's only Luka/Ant who are worth all our draft picks.
What moves need to be made in your opinion?
Who would you target in the draft?
Would you extend Dinwiddie?
Would you keep DFS? Royce?
What would you do with all our draft picks?
submitted by addictivesign to GoNets [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 16:09 CrispyBrother76 [WTS] (KY) Custom Painted Rifles + Glock 19x & Hi Capa Adapter

https://imgur.com/a/nuH6rtw
Howdy, got some airsoft guns for sale. I'll be in Florida next week, if anyone is down there and wanting any of these I can bring them with me and I can give you a local discount both here in KY and down there. I can send you a build list for all of these just lmk if you want one.
  1. KWA KR14 Build - $315+Ship Pics + Shooting Vid (Retail/MSRP Value $430+)
Just finished this build the other day. Am very pleased with it. I went for a mid-long range DMR style build. R-Hopped, ZCI tightbore barrel, APS stock, red dot, and hand stock. Shoots great with .40s, PM for more details. Includes the gun and 1 mag.
  1. KWA Mod.3 Railgun Build - $440+Ship Pics + Shooting Vid (Retail/MSRP Value $605+)
Finished this fairly recently, some of you may have seen me run it at Noob Day a lot of people seemed to really like it. It's a KWA Mod.3 with the 6mmProShop body kit, an airsoft T1 sight (works but needs batteries), an angel custom 6.03 tightbore, and a 3d printed mock suppressor extension because the barrel was too long. This gun shoots great, the selector switch doesn't click into place but it's not a big deal, I know how to fix it if you really want to though, it's simple, just PM me. PM if you have any questions or want a price list. Losing money on this build so I'm fairly firm on price. Comes with the gun and 4 mags.
  1. Masada DMR- Not currently for sale, was shooting incredible but now I'm having an issue with the hopup, I may be R-hopping it and putting a new barrel in it soon. Will have it for sale after that.
  2. Polarstar Jack MP5 Build - $620+Ship Pics + Shooting Vid (Retail/MSRP Value is $1195)
I've got a lot of money in this gun and am losing a lot on this, so the price is very much firm. I've got a price list I'll gladly send you if you're interested. This gun has been absolutely decked out. It's a VFC Mp5, with a Polarstar Jack. It's R-hopped, has a tightbore barrel, Maxx speed trigger, Amped brass weaved IGL with "CRISPY" text bc why not lol. Has a knockoff eotech, a real magpul AFG foregrip, knockoff KAC rail, and a Novritsch v2 foam filled suppressor making it super quiet. The gun shoots great, it's R-Hopped so use .32s at minumum, .40s preferably, the hopup is very sensitive. The gun has been semi locked, we only use semi at my field anyways, but can be fixed with a new trigger board which is only like $25ish if you really want it. Also the safety doesn't work which I think may be because the trigger is for an m4 and the safety lever doesn't work the same because mp5 triggers are much bigger and designed different. Gun has some scratches but hasn't seen a whole lot of use since I built it. It should last someone a very long time, but it has some fairly minor issues and I want to get rid of it which is why I'm selling it so cheap. Will come with the gun, and fcu battery, and 4 mags. PM for more details or price list.
  1. Famas - SOLD
  2. Hi Capa is gone but the Tapp HPA adapter still is, $75+ship for it
  3. Glock 19x - $120+ship
Bought this the other day from a guy at the field leaving the sport, was going to keep it but It's not got some of the features I'm looking for, I want an ssp18 I can beat into the ground. Shoots great. https://imgur.com/a/2dF5HmC
AW Custom VX9 - Sold
Scope - Sold
KWA Vector GBB Mag & Grip - Sold
V2 Gearbox, Needs connector -Sold
KWA Mod.3 Parts, Needs mounting hardware - $15
That's all folks.
submitted by CrispyBrother76 to airsoftmarket [link] [comments]

2023.06.06 12:37 boutell New US CHAdeMO chargers in May 2023

Here are all of the new US CHAdeMO (Leaf fast-charging) stations that rolled out in May 2023, according to the U.S. Department of Energy.
There were 124 "new" CHAdeMOs added in May. To put it in perspective, there were 112 CHAdeMO chargers added in April. I think the pace of CHAdeMO rollout has stabilized, while the pace of CCS rollout is still increasing. This makes sense given that only Nissan still makes a CHAdeMO car.
Some of these chargepoints will be "refreshes," e.g. the provider replaced them with faster chargers etc. Some may be incorrect. This report is only as good as the Alternative Fuels Data Center data.
We all know that CHAdeMO is a legacy format and will eventually go away, but clearly Nissan and their partners are continuing to support it for the time being. This shouldn't be surprising. After all, you can still buy a new Leaf.
If you'd like to know about new chargers along your routes right away, or reading these monthly reports is just frustrating in your state, I've set up a free service that provides email notifications only when new stations actually open. You can sign up at evpov.com. I built it to help EV owners like myself (especially my fellow Leaf owners). You can pick other plug types as well.
To streamline this post, multi-chargepoint locations are listed with the number of chargepoints first, so that's why the post is shorter than in previous months.
➡ CA (1) Fairfield Inn & Suites 8700 Spectrum Pkwy Bakersfield, CA 93308 (1) MOSSY CDJR DC 1 1875 Auto Park Ave Chula Vista, CA 91911 (3) DC CORRIDOR CHEVRON C DC 2 25032 W Dorris Ave Coalinga, CA 93210 (1) South Coast Collection (SoCo) 3303 Hyland Ave Costa Mesa, CA 92626 (1) SCPPA SCPPA CPE200T 1160 Nicole Ct Glendora, CA 91740 (1) Mojave Air & Spaceport (Building 1) 16922 Airport Blvd Mojave, CA 93501 (1) Albertsons 1345 (Morro Bay, CA) 730 Quintana Road Morro City, CA 93442 (1) CircleK - Palm Desert, CA 78005 Country Club Dr Palm Desert, CA 92211 (1) Hilton Garden Inn 20 Advantage Ct Sacramento, CA 95834 (1) BoA Hillcrest CA0-120 (San Diego, CA) 737 UNIVERSITY AVE San Diego, CA 92103 (1) WinCo Foods - Vacaville #60 855 Davis St Vacaville, CA 95687 ➡ CO (1) CITY OF ASPEN RIO GRANDE L3 427 Rio Grande Pl Aspen, CO 81611 (4) CSG EV BOULDER PL4 1500 Pearl St Boulder, CO 80302 (1) CircleK - Colorado City, CA 8950 S Interstate 25 Colorado City, CO 81004 (2) GPM INVESTMENTS 4590 DC1 8105 N Academy Blvd Colorado Springs, CO 80920 (2) KUM & GO CRAIG PL2 700 East Victory Way Craig, CO 81625 (1) DINO WELCOME DINOSAUR PL1 101 Stegosaurus Freeway Dinosaur, CO 81610 (2) PIKES PK CHARGE BA.CA.MI LLC #2 11027 US-24 Divide, CO 80814 (3) ANNEX SITE GEORGETOWN PL2 1120 Argentine Street Georgetown, CO 80444 (4) KUM & GO RIFLE PL4 705 Taugenbaugh Boulevard Rifle, CO 81650 (2) KUM & GO SB SPRINGS PL2 80 Anglers Drive Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 ➡ FL (1) JNKNS JACKSONVI DC FAST 2 11107 Atlantic Blvd Jacksonville, FL 32225 (1) Starbucks 9200 FL-228 Macclenny, FL 32063 (1) Ocean Cadillac 17800 Ipco Road Miami, FL 33162 (1) Sun Plaza 6339 W Colonial Dr Orlando, FL 32818 (1) BHY CHARGER 1 9915 E Adamo Dr Tampa, FL 33619 (1) Chase Bank - 5601 Red Bug Lake Rd 5601 Red Bug Lake Rd Winter Springs, FL 32708 ➡ GA (1) GEORGIA POWER EPICENTER DC1 135 riverside parkway SW Austell, GA 30168 (1) JACKSON EMC GAINESVILLE 1000 Dawsonville Highway Gainesville, GA 30501 ➡ IN (1) AVON HYUNDAI SALES 8775 E 36 Avon, IN 46123 (1) HOC CHARGERS CHARGER #1 4200 E 96th St Indianapolis, IN 46240 ➡ KS (1) HATCHETT FRONT_WEST 11200 E Central Ave Wichita, KS 67206 (1) HATCHETT BACK EAST 11330 E Central Ave Wichita, KS 67206 ➡ KY (1) JEFF WYLER FH EXPRESS 250 949 Burlington Pike Florence, KY 41042 ➡ MA (6) MASSPORT TNC 4 226 Porter St Boston, MA 02128 (2) MASSPORT TAXI 4 56 Harborside Dr Boston, MA 02128 ➡ MD (2) POTOMAC EDISON ROCKY GAP DC1 16701 Lakeview Rd NE Flintstone, MD 21530 ➡ ME (1) DARLINGS HYUNDA SALES CHARGER 2 439 Western Ave Augusta, ME 04330 (2) IRVINGOIL ME-FFLD-L3-0001 206 Center Rd Fairfield, ME 04937 (1) MOBIL ONTHEWAY STATION 1 1930 Lisbon Street Lewiston, ME 04240 (1) MOBIL ONTHEWAY STATION 2 1938 Lisbon St Lewiston, ME 04240 ➡ MI (1) Belle Isle DC Fast Charge 176 Lakeside Dr Detroit, MI 48207 (1) Evergetic Charging Spa 330 South Martin Luther King Junior Boulevard Lansing, MI 48915 ➡ MN (1) WINNER GAS BROOKDALE DR 1500 Brookdale Dr Minneapolis, MN 55444 ➡ NC (1) CAPE HATTERAS AVON PIER DCFC2 41001 North Carolina Hwy 12 Avon, NC 27915 (1) AEMC- AEMC HQ FAST 125 Cooperative Way Hertford, NC 27944 (1) Chestnut Arbor 2925 Weddington Matthews Rd Matthews, NC 28105 ➡ NE (1) ERNST CHARGER 1 EAC CHARGER 615 23rd St E Columbus, NE 68601 ➡ NJ (1) ShopRite Carteret - Wakefern #511 801 Roosevelt Ave Carteret, NJ 07008 (2) FREEHOLDHYUNDAI VERIZON 1 4075 9 Freehold Township, NJ 07728 (2) CLASS 3 CHARGER HYUNDAI-2 250 Rte 4 Paramus, NJ 07652 (1) CIRCLEAUTOGROUP CH- CPE250 1 641 Shrewsbury Ave Shrewsbury, NJ 07702 (1) ROUTE 1 HYUNDAI CPE-250-02 3905 US 1 South Brunswick Township, NJ 08852 (1) ROUTE 1 HYUNDAI RT1-01 3913 US-1 South Brunswick Township, NJ 08852 ➡ NY (1) AAA WESTCENTRAL DC FAST CHARGER 100 International Dr Amherst, NY 14221 (2) KEELER STATION 6 1111 Troy Schenectady Rd Latham, NY 12110 (1) LEXUSMIDDLETOWN STATION 1 3496 US-6 Middletown, NY 10940 (3) BOB JOHNSON BOB JOHNSON KIA 3817 W Henrietta Rd Rochester, NY 14623 ➡ OH (2) CRESTMONT DRIVECRESTMONT2 2961 Center Rd Brunswick, OH 44212 (1) Hampton Inn - Canton 5256 Broadmoor Cir NW Canton, OH 44709 (1) JEFF WYLER EXPRESS 250 Loop @ Far Hills Centerville, OH 45459 (1) DONWOODAUTO DW CHEVY 2 12916 OH-664 Logan, OH 43138 (1) JEFF WYLER CORP 4- DC FAST 401 Milford Pkwy Milford, OH 45150 (1) Friendship Kitchen 70 3800 E. State Rd. Port Clinton, OH 43452 (1) Friendship Kitchen 83 4024 Hayes Ave. Sandusky, OH 44870 ➡ OK (1) EDMOND HYUNDAI EDMOND 4 14137 N Broadway Ext Edmond, OK 73013 ➡ OR (1) PGE IBEW 48 15937 NE Airport Way Portland, OR 97230 ➡ PA (1) DOYLESTOWN 024B1000008033 4465 W Swamp Rd Doylestown, PA 18902 (2) LIBERTY CHARWASH PL 2 2595 Maryland Road Willow Grove, PA 19090 ➡ PR (2) BMW AUTOGERMANA CPE 250 PKNG 2 106 Calle Acuarela Guaynabo, PR 00969 (2) BMW AUTOGERMANA FTZ120KW-2 1086 Ave. Muñoz Rivera San Juan, PR 00919 ➡ SC (1) Travelers Rest Municipal Complex 125 Trailblazer Dr Travelers Rest, SC 29690 ➡ TN (4) I24 EXIT11 STATION 1 (LL) 701 Sango Road Clarksville, TN 37043 (2) DISTRICT 2 STATION 1 (L) 28 S Park Ave Hohenwald, TN 38462 (2) LAWRENCEBURG STATION 2 (R) 2347 Hwy 43 N Leoma, TN 38468 (1) MB OF MEMPHIS STATION 1 5401 Poplar Ave Memphis, TN 38119 ➡ TX (1) Plaza de Oro 4450 W Jefferson Blvd Dallas, TX 75211 ➡ UT (2) VOLVO CAR USA SANDY DC 2 56 W 9000 S Sandy, UT 84070 ➡ VA (2) KOONS HYUNDAI STATION 1 1880 Opitz Blvd Woodbridge, VA 22191 ➡ WA (2) HANSON MOTORS HM3 QUICKCHARGE 2300 Carriage Loop SW Olympia, WA 98502 (1) Walmart 2539 - Spokane Valley, WA 15727 E Broadway Ave Spokane Valley, WA 99037 (1) 7054 -Vancouver, WA 98664 (10314 SE Mill Plain Road) 13014 SE Mill Plain Rd Vancouver, WA 98684 ➡ WI (1) BERG HYUNDAI VLI-L3-PDI-4 2900 N Victory Ln Appleton, WI 54913 (1) Wheelers Chevrolet of Coloma 1978 Charles Way Coloma, WI 54930 (1) Wheelers Chevrolet GMC of Marshfield 2701 S. Maple Ave Marshfield, WI 54449
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2023.06.06 12:32 boutell New US CCS chargers report for May 2023

Here are all of the new US CCS (Level 3 fast-charging) stations that rolled out in May 2023, according to the Department of Energy. These chargers are suitable for most new EVs on the market, except for:
  1. Tesla drivers who haven't bought the official CCS adapter yet. Certain older Teslas need additional work done to accept the adapter.
  2. Leaf owners like me, and some owners of older cars that also use CHAdeMO. If you drive a Leaf, or an older CHAdeMO car, see my matching post in leaf.
Some of these chargepoints will be "refreshes," e.g. the provider replaced them with faster chargers etc. Some may be incorrect. This report is only as good as the Alternative Fuels Data Center data.
There were 222 CCS charge points added or refreshed in May 2023, which is up from 171 in April. For comparison, there were only 74 new CCS charge points in May 2022. Things are speeding up.
"What about CCS charging at Tesla superchargers?" Tesla is in the process of rolling out their "magic dock" for non-Tesla cars, but so far in very few locations. If they start doing this at scale and reporting it to the Alternative Fuels Data Center then it will be reflected here.
"What about Ford vehicles with NACS (Tesla) plugs?" They are not on sale yet. Current-generation Ford vehicles have CCS plugs. The next generation will have NACS (Tesla) plugs, but will also support CCS via an adapter.
If you'd like to know about new chargers along your routes right away, or just prefer not to check this list monthly when new openings are rare in your area, I've set up a free service that provides email notifications as soon as they open. You can sign up at evpov.com. Or not! I don't really have a business plan here, I built it to help EV owners like myself.
To streamline this post, multi-chargepoint locations are listed with the number of chargepoints first, so that's why the post is shorter than in previous months.
➡ AR (1) Franklin's Charging Little Rock 724 Woodrow St Little Rock, AR 72205 ➡ AZ (6) 942 E Parma Street (US-CMK-NVL-2A) 942 E Parma Street Gila Bend, AZ 85337 (1) Kroger Frys 62 (Mesa, AZ) 554 W Baseline Rd Mesa, AZ 85210 ➡ CA (1) Fairfield Inn & Suites 8700 Spectrum Pkwy Bakersfield, CA 93308 (1) MOSSY CDJR DC 1 1875 Auto Park Ave Chula Vista, CA 91911 (3) DC CORRIDOR CHEVRON C DC 2 25032 W Dorris Ave Coalinga, CA 93210 (1) South Coast Collection (SoCo) 3303 Hyland Ave Costa Mesa, CA 92626 (1) SCPPA SCPPA CPE200T 1160 Nicole Ct Glendora, CA 91740 (1) Chase Bank - 925 N Hacienda Blvd 925 N Hacienda Blvd La Puente, CA 91744 (1) WOODLANDHILLS ABB 24KW 01 22006 Erwin Street Los Angeles, CA 91367 (1) 7071 - Merced, CA (2020 Childs Ave) 2020 Childs Ave Merced, CA 95341 (1) Mojave Air & Spaceport (Building 1) 16922 Airport Blvd Mojave, CA 93501 (1) BMW MONROVIA OFF NETWORK 01 1425 Mountain Ave Monrovia, CA 91016 (1) Albertsons 1345 (Morro Bay, CA) 730 Quintana Road Morro City, CA 93442 (1) 3333 Fruitvale Ave 3333 Fruitvale Ave Oakland, CA 94602 (1) 7126 - Oakley, CA (5540 Bridgehead Road) 5540 Bridgehead Road Oakley, CA 94561 (1) CircleK - Palm Desert, CA 78005 Country Club Dr Palm Desert, CA 92211 (1) Hilton Garden Inn 20 Advantage Ct Sacramento, CA 95834 (1) BoA Hillcrest CA0-120 (San Diego, CA) 737 UNIVERSITY AVE San Diego, CA 92103 (1) WinCo Foods - Vacaville #60 855 Davis St Vacaville, CA 95687 ➡ CO (1) CITY OF ASPEN RIO GRANDE L3 427 Rio Grande Pl Aspen, CO 81611 (4) CSG EV BOULDER PL4 1500 Pearl St Boulder, CO 80302 (5) 1 Flatiron Crossing (US-ME8-73R-2B) 1 Flatiron Crossing Broomfield, CO 80021 (1) CircleK - Colorado City, CA 8950 S Interstate 25 Colorado City, CO 81004 (2) GPM INVESTMENTS 4590 DC1 8105 N Academy Blvd Colorado Springs, CO 80920 (2) KUM & GO CRAIG PL2 700 East Victory Way Craig, CO 81625 (1) DINO WELCOME DINOSAUR PL1 101 Stegosaurus Freeway Dinosaur, CO 81610 (2) PIKES PK CHARGE BA.CA.MI LLC #2 11027 US-24 Divide, CO 80814 (4) ANNEX SITE GEORGETOWN PL4 1120 Argentine Street Georgetown, CO 80444 (4) KUM & GO RIFLE PL4 705 Taugenbaugh Boulevard Rifle, CO 81650 (2) KUM & GO SB SPRINGS PL2 80 Anglers Drive Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 ➡ CT (1) BOA East Hartford CT2-120 (Hartford, CT) 805 E Main Street East Hartford, CT 06108 (1) HARTFORD BMW ABB OUTSIDE 1 Weston Park Rd Hartford, CT 06120 ➡ DE (1) First State Chevrolet 22694 DUPONT BLVD GEORGETOWN, DE 19947 ➡ FL (1) JNKNS JACKSONVI DC FAST 2 11107 Atlantic Blvd Jacksonville, FL 32225 (1) Simon Tampa Premium Outlets (Lutz, FL) 2300 Grand Cypress Dr Lutz, FL 33559 (1) Starbucks 9200 FL-228 Macclenny, FL 32063 (1) Ocean Cadillac 17800 Ipco Road Miami, FL 33162 (1) Sun Plaza 6339 W Colonial Dr Orlando, FL 32818 (1) Simon Orlando Vineland (Orlando, FL) 8200 Vineland Ave Orlando, FL 32821 (1) Simon Tyrone Square (St Petersburg, FL) 6901 22nd Ave N Peterburg, FL 33710 (1) BHY CHARGER 1 9915 E Adamo Dr Tampa, FL 33619 (1) Chase Bank - 5601 Red Bug Lake Rd 5601 Red Bug Lake Rd Winter Springs, FL 32708 ➡ GA (1) GEORGIA POWER EPICENTER DC1 135 riverside parkway SW Austell, GA 30168 (1) JACKSON EMC GAINESVILLE 1000 Dawsonville Highway Gainesville, GA 30501 ➡ IL (1) Castle Chevrolet North 175 N Arlington Heights Rd Elk Grove Village, IL 60007 (1) Sunrise Chevrolet 414 E N Ave Glendale Heights, IL 60139 ➡ IN (1) AVON HYUNDAI SALES 8775 E 36 Avon, IN 46123 (1) SHRM CHRG MERCEDESBENZFW 7227 W Jefferson Blvd Fort Wayne, IN 46804 (1) HOC CHARGERS CHARGER #1 4200 E 96th St Indianapolis, IN 46240 (1) Sullivan Cadillac 4040 SW College Rd Ocala, IN 34474 ➡ KS (1) HATCHETT FRONT_WEST 11200 E Central Ave Wichita, KS 67206 (1) HATCHETT BACK EAST 11330 E Central Ave Wichita, KS 67206 ➡ KY (1) JEFF WYLER FH EXPRESS 250 949 Burlington Pike Florence, KY 41042 ➡ LA (1) All Star Automotive 12730 Airline Highway Baton Rouge, LA 70817 (1) Target T1469 (Monroe, LA) 4103 Pecanland Mall Dr Monroe, LA 71203 ➡ MA (6) MASSPORT TNC 4 226 Porter St Boston, MA 02128 (2) MASSPORT TAXI 4 56 Harborside Dr Boston, MA 02128 (1) Littleton Electric Light & Water Department 39 Ayer Road Littleton, MA 01460 ➡ MD (2) POTOMAC EDISON ROCKY GAP DC1 16701 Lakeview Rd NE Flintstone, MD 21530 ➡ ME (1) DARLINGS HYUNDA SALES CHARGER 2 439 Western Ave Augusta, ME 04330 (2) IRVINGOIL ME-FFLD-L3-0001 206 Center Rd Fairfield, ME 04937 (1) MOBIL ONTHEWAY STATION 1 1930 Lisbon Street Lewiston, ME 04240 (1) MOBIL ONTHEWAY STATION 2 1938 Lisbon St Lewiston, ME 04240 ➡ MI (1) Belle Isle DC Fast Charge 176 Lakeside Dr Detroit, MI 48207 (1) Meijer 254 (Hudsonville, MI) 4075 32nd Ave Hudsonville, MI 49426 (1) Evergetic Charging Spa 330 South Martin Luther King Junior Boulevard Lansing, MI 48915 (1) Genesis Cadillac 19900 E Nine Mile Road St Clair Shores, MI 48080 (1) MBSTL ENTRANCE ABB 1048 Hampton Avenue St. Louis, MI 63139 (1) Range USA Ypsilanti 660 James L Hart Pkwy Ypsilanti, MI 48197 ➡ MN (1) WINNER GAS BROOKDALE DR 1500 Brookdale Dr Minneapolis, MN 55444 ➡ MO (1) GM - Allen Christian Buick GMC Inc 724 W Business US Highway 60, Dexter, MO 63841 (1) Store 290 Joplin - 2101 S. Prigmore &I44 2101 S Prigmore Joplin, MO 64804 ➡ MS (1) 1685 High St 1685 High St Jackson, MS 39202 ➡ NC (1) CAPE HATTERAS AVON PIER DCFC2 41001 North Carolina Hwy 12 Avon, NC 27915 (1) Westcott Buick GMC 2410 S CHURCH ST BURLINGTON, NC 27215 (1) 9960 Poplar Tent Rd 9960 Poplar Tent Rd Concord, NC 28027 (1) AEMC- AEMC HQ FAST 125 Cooperative Way Hertford, NC 27944 (1) Capital Hyundai of Jacksonville 2325 N Marine Blvd Jacksonville, NC 28546 (1) Chestnut Arbor 2925 Weddington Matthews Rd Matthews, NC 28105 ➡ NE (1) ERNST CHARGER 1 EAC CHARGER 615 23rd St E Columbus, NE 68601 ➡ NH (1) Berlin City Chevrolet 545 MAIN STREET GORHAM, NH 03581 (2) Tanger Tilton Under Armour 06-07 120 Laconia Road Tilton, NH 03256 ➡ NJ (1) ShopRite Carteret - Wakefern #511 801 Roosevelt Ave Carteret, NJ 07008 (1) Lester Glenn Freehold 3712 Rte 9 Freehold, NJ 07728 (2) FREEHOLDHYUNDAI VERIZON 1 4075 9 Freehold Township, NJ 07728 (2) CLASS 3 CHARGER HYUNDAI-2 250 Rte 4 Paramus, NJ 07652 (1) CIRCLEAUTOGROUP CH- CPE250 1 641 Shrewsbury Ave Shrewsbury, NJ 07702 (1) ROUTE 1 HYUNDAI CPE-250-02 3905 US 1 South Brunswick Township, NJ 08852 (1) ROUTE 1 HYUNDAI RT1-01 3913 US-1 South Brunswick Township, NJ 08852 (1) Lester Glenn Buick-GMC 230 RTE 37 E TOMS RIVER, NJ 08753 (1) Lester Glenn Chevrolet 398 Rt 37 Toms River, NJ 08753 ➡ NY (1) AAA WESTCENTRAL DC FAST CHARGER 100 International Dr Amherst, NY 14221 (2) KEELER STATION 6 1111 Troy Schenectady Rd Latham, NY 12110 (1) LEXUSMIDDLETOWN STATION 1 3496 US-6 Middletown, NY 10940 (1) Lerner NYC Station Plaza (Port Jefferson Station, NY) 5145 Nesconset Highway Port Jefferson Station, NY 11776 (3) BOB JOHNSON BOB JOHNSON KIA 3817 W Henrietta Rd Rochester, NY 14623 (1) Burr Truck Level 3 DC Fast Charge 2901 Vestal Rd Vestal, NY 13850 ➡ OH (1) Serra Chevrolet 3281 S Arlington Rd Akron, OH 44312 (1) Tim Lally Chevrolet 24999 Miles Rd Bedford Heights, OH 44128 (2) CRESTMONT DRIVECRESTMONT2 2961 Center Rd Brunswick, OH 44212 (1) Lambert Buick GMC 2409 FRONT ST CUYAHOGA FALLS, OH 44221 (1) Hampton Inn - Canton 5256 Broadmoor Cir NW Canton, OH 44709 (1) JEFF WYLER EXPRESS 250 Loop @ Far Hills Centerville, OH 45459 (1) DONWOODAUTO DW CHEVY 2 12916 OH-664 Logan, OH 43138 (2) WAG ABB STATION 1 8457 N Springboro Pike Miamisburg, OH 45342 (1) JEFF WYLER CORP 4- DC FAST 401 Milford Pkwy Milford, OH 45150 (1) Friendship Kitchen 70 3800 E. State Rd. Port Clinton, OH 43452 (1) Friendship Kitchen 83 4024 Hayes Ave. Sandusky, OH 44870 (1) Serpentini Chevrolet of Strongsville 15303 Royalton Rd Strongsville, OH 44136 (1) Don's Automotive Group 720 N SHOOP AVE WAUSEON, OH 43567 (1) Bush Auto Place 1850 Rombach Avenue Wilmington, OH 45177 ➡ OK (1) EDMOND HYUNDAI EDMOND 4 14137 N Broadway Ext Edmond, OK 73013 ➡ OR (6) 12000 SE 82nd Ave (US-H8H-UM5-2A) 12000 SE 82nd Ave Happy Valley, OR 97086 (1) PGE IBEW 48 15937 NE Airport Way Portland, OR 97230 ➡ PA (1) DOYLESTOWN 024B1000008033 4465 W Swamp Rd Doylestown, PA 18902 (2) LIBERTY CHARWASH PL 2 2595 Maryland Road Willow Grove, PA 19090 (1) Bergeys Inc 518 RTE 309 colmar, PA 18915 ➡ PR (2) BMW AUTOGERMANA CPE 250 PKNG 2 106 Calle Acuarela Guaynabo, PR 00969 (2) BMW AUTOGERMANA FTZ120KW-2 1086 Ave. Muñoz Rivera San Juan, PR 00919 ➡ RI (1) Paul Masse Chevrolet 1111 Taunton Ave East Providence, RI 02914 ➡ SC (1) Travelers Rest Municipal Complex 125 Trailblazer Dr Travelers Rest, SC 29690 ➡ TN (4) I24 EXIT11 STATION 1 (LL) 701 Sango Road Clarksville, TN 37043 (2) DISTRICT 2 STATION 1 (L) 28 S Park Ave Hohenwald, TN 38462 (2) LAWRENCEBURG STATION 2 (R) 2347 Hwy 43 N Leoma, TN 38468 (1) MB OF MEMPHIS STATION 1 5401 Poplar Ave Memphis, TN 38119 ➡ TX (1) Friendly Chevrolet 2754 North Stemmons Way Dallas, TX 75207 (1) Plaza de Oro 4450 W Jefferson Blvd Dallas, TX 75211 (1) Shell 3302 S Eastman Rd Longview, TX 75602 (1) 3220 Gulf Fwy 3220 Gulf Fwy Texas City, TX 77591 ➡ UT (2) VOLVO CAR USA SANDY DC 2 56 W 9000 S Sandy, UT 84070 ➡ VA (1) BLACKWELL D1 4874 Riverside Dr Danville, VA 24541 (1) Fleet Management Site (For Testing Purpose Only) 512 Herndon Pkwy Herndon, VA 20170 (6) 2577 Jeb Stuart Highway (US-TDM-SCC-1C) 2577 Jeb Stuart Highway Meadows of Dan, VA 24120 (5) 2203 Franklin Road Southwest (US-TUJ-L2K-2C) 2203 Franklin Road Southwest Roanoke, VA 24014 (6) 437 Tiffany Drive (US-CHT-WF7-2C) 437 Tiffany Drive Waynesboro, VA 22980 (2) KOONS HYUNDAI STATION 1 1880 Opitz Blvd Woodbridge, VA 22191 ➡ VT (1) Cody Chevrolet 364 RIVER ST MONTPELIER, VT 05602 ➡ WA (1) 7112 - Bellevue WA (12903 NE 20th Street) 12903 NE 20th Bellevue, WA 98005 (1) 7060 - Burlington, WA (1790 South Burlington Blvd) 1790 South Burlington Blvd Burlington, WA 98233 (1) 5507 - Everett, WA (901 Casino Road) 901 Casino Road Everett, WA 98204 (1) 7025 - Everett, WA (13131 Bothell Everett Hwy) 13131 Bothell Everett Hwy Everett, WA 98208 (1) 4397 - Kelso, WA (1700 Allen Street) 1700 Allen Street Kelso, WA 98626 (1) 7063 - Olympia, WA (1725 Evergreen Park Drive SW) 1725 Evergreen Park Drive SW Olympia, WA 98502 (2) HANSON MOTORS HM3 QUICKCHARGE 2300 Carriage Loop SW Olympia, WA 98502 (1) 7096 - Sequim, WA (51 Carlsborg Road) 51 Carlsborg Road Sequim, WA 98382 (1) Walmart 2539 - Spokane Valley, WA 15727 E Broadway Ave Spokane Valley, WA 99037 (1) 7054 -Vancouver, WA 98664 (10314 SE Mill Plain Road) 13014 SE Mill Plain Rd Vancouver, WA 98684 (1) 7059 - Woodinville, WA (13023 NE 175th St) 13023 NE 175th St Woodinville, WA 98072 ➡ WI (1) BERG HYUNDAI VLI-L3-PDI-4 2900 N Victory Ln Appleton, WI 54913 (1) Wheelers Chevrolet of Coloma 1978 Charles Way Coloma, WI 54930 (1) Wheelers Chevrolet GMC of Marshfield 2701 S. Maple Ave Marshfield, WI 54449
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2023.06.05 13:23 TELMxWILSON New Music! Pendulum, Metrik, Satl, Amoss, Workforce, DJ Sofa and more! Review include some Hiddem Gem bleeps & bloops as well as some deep liquid from Geostatic. [+weekly updated Spotify playlist] New Music Monday! (Week 23)

 
Weekly updated Spotify Playlist H2L: New Drum & Bass
Soundcloud Playlist H2L: New Drum & Bass Soundcloud
Youtube Playlist H2L: New Drum & Bass Youtube
Youtube Music Playlist H2L: New Drum & Bass YT Music
Apple Music Playlist H2L: New Drum & Bass Apple Music
Retroactive Playlist H2L: Retroactive New DnB
Last Week's list http://reddit.com/13urrql
Follow us on Instagram TELMxWILSON, lefuniname, voynich
 

Picks Of The Week (by u/lefuniname)

1. Niallo - Dreamland EP 💎 [DIVIDID]

Recommended if you like: [BORDERS], The Caracal Project, Tom Finster
It's no secret I'm a big fan of the innovative, all-around strange sounds that come out of the newschool movement, spearheaded by the likes of IMANU and The Caracal Project. While these two, especially the latter, already come up with some truly puzzling sound design that would cause your nan to lose the last bits of hope she might have had for future generation's music, the up-and-coming artists inspired by them arguably push the envelope in that regard even further, making even millennials scratch their head sometimes. Or should I say millen-nial-lo? You guessed right, we're once again talking about Bristol-based badboy Niall Overend, better known as Niallo!
After talking about his introspective debut EP in 2021 and taking a closer look at his unsettlingly good follow-up EP in 2022, it has basically become an annual (an-niall?) tradition to expose you guys to the weirdest of bleeps and bloops that the scene has to offer. However, since we last talked about him, he has been expanding his sound even further! After an excursion on Incurzion and a double tracker on Surveillance Music, he realised how hard it was to find a home for his most out-there stuff, eventually leading him down the path of self-releasing earlier this year. Still not quite creatively satisfied, he even started another alias called Everdone just last month, for the less club-oriented side of the Niall. In the midst of all this (positive) creative turmoil, he managed to reinvent himself and his sound once again, this time dreaming up a whole new, more uplifting aesthetic, while still retaining the otherworldly alien-esque sound design he has become known for at this point. That unique combination of flavours got the attention of an imprint Niall has been looking up to since basically forever, DIVIDID, promptly resulting in label manager ABIS signing him on for a full EP! Let's see what the fuzz is all about then, shall we?
We ascend into the ethereal sky islands created from Niall's wicked sound design wizardry, with the title track Dreamland. After easing into it all by synths so dreamy they immediately earn the track its title, a most wonderful, distinctly retro-futuristic and otherworldly choir makes it clear that this release is different from most others. I can't quite explain why, but this whole intro gives off such strong retro-futuristic dystopia vibes that I just can't help but picture BioShock Infinite in my head. Following this unique introduction to it all is an equally, if not even more so, eccentric drop, driven forward by a syncopated, ever-changing flow and brought to life by all sorts of different bleeps and bloops.
As residents of the sky islands, we of course don't have any clouds blocking out the sun, so we end up becoming early risers and Niall already has the perfect anthem prepped for us: Holding On (6AM). With slightly dissonant chords, injected with strong white noise, creating a real sense of unease in a matter of seconds and the heavily processed, high-pitched vocal expanding on this experimental atmosphere, the rather strange journey continues. While I already kind of love this intro, the real highlight is what follows. Slow-moving, swinging drums act as the foundation for an incredibly catchy melody, whose each and every hit carries multiple waves of dissonance with it. Might sound weird, but it absolutely works. Throughout the drop, Niall effortlessly switches back and forth between this swinging, multi-layered madness and the chords from the buildup, with the occasional fake-out thrown in for good measure, really pushing the levels of dissonance to their limits. I absolutely love it.
With what sounds like a Japanese vocal sample, which has of course been slammed through various processing pipelines, and dissonant piano chords, Niall welcomes us to the next level of existence: Hyperreality. Even more syncopated than before, with little rolly bois chiming in every now and then, and an avalanche of melodies falling over each other, somehow forming a coherent rhythm in the process, this third stop makes you feel like you are living inside the glitchiest but simultaneously also prettiest videogames out there. EP closer Blue Snake takes this glitchy idea and runs with it. You know that sound you get, when you are watching something and your OS crashes on you, that millisecond-long snippet of audio just looping forever? That's what the buildup is like, but somehow melodically pleasing! As if that wasn't enough, we continue by hopping on a fast-paced joyride up and down the bleepy bloopy scales, with seemingly randomly appearing gaps in the melody creating an unpredictable yet well-flowing rhythm that will wrinkle your brain. Not only do we get loads of variation in the same tempo this way, Niall even pumps the brakes in the second half so hard we end up in a Half-time rhythm!
I have been a fan of Niallo's sound from the start basically, but this new direction is such a bold departure from the norm and just so wonderfully strange that I can't help but be even more ecstatic about his future projects than I already was before. Undenia(llo)bly one of the most unique releases of this and probably also previous years.
Other bleepy and bloopy things from this week: - skantia - Politics - A.way, Moment - Inception - B3D3-R, Asli, SEMPLE. - Summer Bounce EP

2. Geostatic - Worth Fighting For / Unpredictable [Celsius Recordings]

Recommended if you like: Sub:liminal, Invadhertz, Alix Perez
While he's slowly gaining a more sizeable audience and thus technically not a Hidden Gem™️ anymore, Geostatic is still incredibly underrated in my eyes. So, let's talk about him a bit!
Straight outta Austria's second largest city and one of its many DnB hotspots Graz, Philipp Hochegger aka Geostatic has been making geological, expressedly non-static waves in the DnB scene for years now. As part of the ehrliches BUM BUM or EBB crew, he is responsible for all sorts of ablaze Dancefloors not just in the area, but also at festivals like Outlook, Break & Lake and LakeSide. Inspired by the likes of Alix Perez, Phil of course also eventually wanted to fill up his playlists with tunes of his own. Around 2020, it was then finally time for the Geostatic project to ascend to the next level, with debut releases on Italian imprint Delta9 and its sister label DLT9. In the same year, Phil also participated in a competition for Graz-based artists, organised by springfestival graz, and managed to become one of the winners, with his track New Horizon even being used to promote the project on national television! After this first, already quite successful year, the Geostatic project swung into the next few ones with quite a lot of momentum, leading to releases on Transparent Audio, where he became a pivotal part of the ensemble, Ekou, Incurzion and, of course, Delta9, and collaborations with fellow Austrian talents Moekel, Screamarts and Anthropic.
After his arguably biggest EPs so far earlier this year, the Power Of Knowledge EP on Transparent Audio, which I kind of regret not covering here, Philipp continues his hot streak with some double trouble action on legendary Dutch label Fokuz's sister label, Celsius Recordings. And that's what we're here to talk about today! For the opener, Worth Fighting For, Phil recruits a certain someone, who has been making some serious moves in the scene lately: Dresden-based Scurrow. Together, the newcomer powerhouses craft a rather lovely roller of a tune, with soft pianos tugging at your heartstrings, a gentle vocal allowing your mind to drift away from the dreadful problems of day-to-day life, and warm bass to soothe the most anxious of souls. Speaking of bass, the flipside Unpredictable shows the polar opposite side of the Geostatic sound: Uncompromisingly huge, goosebump-inducing basslines, with a menacing atmosphere and forward-driving, rolling drums for maximum effect. What remains from the opener, albeit amped up to 11 here, is the soulfulness of it all, thanks to the wonderful vocal sample and its sublime processing.
Magnificent vibes, precise production, simply great! This is your invitation to also jump on the Geostatic hype train. Trust me, you won't regret it.
Other liquid and deep stuff from this week: - Trail - Resident EP - Satl, Brandy Haze - Today - Duskee, Deadline, Slay - CHICA - Reburf - In Deep EP 💎 - Amoss - A Stroke Of Luck EP - Waeys - Objection VIP / Simula Remix - Apparition - Guardian EP
 

New Releases

General DnB / Mixed

Dancefloor

Liquid

Deep / Tech / Minimal

Jump Up

Jungle

submitted by TELMxWILSON to DnB [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 07:52 Justhuman963 Killer 60s

I started renting this house a few weeks ago. It was a nice 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house with a 2 car garage and a sizable driveway. The grass was in very good health and the wooden fence was always painted a very bright and clean shade of white every few weeks. It was like a house from the 50s because it was. There was something charming about it, the wooden paneling, the porch with the backyard deck, the grill, the cozy little shack out back full of tools, and the lawnmower. I was allowed to rent this out for as long as I needed so I could write a report about a murder. One that happened in this very house in fact. Back in the 60s a couple lived here, they were crazy about each other. And about some of the neighbors as well. For over 2 decades they poisoned, stabbed, and shot various other families. It was never clear why they did it or what motives they had.
In the very end, it was chalked up as pure insanity, a pair of psychopaths married together. They had a son and daughter, but the grandparents had taken them out of that household after finding out about the first murder, they kept quiet. This house has been turned into a sort of museum and rental space over the past few years. It was closed off to the public for over 3 decades but recently opened back up for people to look at. Turns out that renting out and giving tours of a haunted house was profitable.
Oh, I forgot to mention that it was haunted by the souls of the couple who killed those families back in the day. This was something I was having a hard time documenting in the report I was writing. I mean, come on, a haunted house? What the hell is this, a horror novel? I was dead wrong about it though. It all started one night when this one song started playing on a phonograph in the living room. It was Put Your Head On My Shoulder by Paul Anka. I can't get it out of my head. It played over and over every night.
The nights would go the same way over and over. I would go to bed at around 10 PM. After that, the house would fall into an odd silence. The lights came on in the living room and that song would start playing itself. The movement of footsteps could be heard as they creaked against the hardwood floors.
"Please, come out and join us. It's quite a fine night.", a female voice would call out.
"Come now, be our guest, and take a seat out here. We'll drink tea and listen to the radio.", a male voice would soon follow up with the woman's voice.
It was not safe to get up and check it out, despite their words of assurance. Doing so could bring unknown results. It may have been safe, but something in my body told me otherwise. I would stay in bed until 6 AM, that's the time everything would fade away and turn to normal. Their little dance and music would go on all night, but I would still be able to sleep. While dozing off it seems like the music would go silent despite still playing. I guess their only goal at first is to draw you out.
It's been a few days of this before things took a step up. I've been hearing...people? It's almost like a party happened during the night hours. Again I find that I cease to hear it once I fall asleep. I guess these little events are mere attempts at giving incentives for me to leave the room rather than to torture me. Although every so often there'll be a knock on the door asking me to come out. It only lasts a second before the person walks away. They're very polite about it though and they don't stick around, merely ask me and then vanish once they don't hear an answer in 5 seconds.
During the daytime, I've been logging this information into my reports. I feel like I'm going insane slightly, these can't be real, right? I must be breathing some sort of hallucinogenic gas being pumped in here. Got the vents checked out, nothing wrong with them. They did need to be cleaned though so at least I had an excuse to get them worked on without looking like a crazy person. I never find a trace of this couple during the day. No shoes, footprints, altered objects, nothing. Not a single thing moved out of place or touched. Hell, things seem slightly cleaner in the morning. It may be the fact that I try to keep things as they are though.
I spend my days walking around the neighborhood. The people living around here are mostly millennials. The ones who either inherited these houses and chose to rent them out or live in them instead of selling them. Or renting them to cut down certain parts of the mortgage. I drive into the city and head to a coffee shop I like for a few hours. I leech off the free wifi so I can get my things done. There's free wifi at the house, but it's a gamble on the speeds and connection. I also like starting my day off with coffee and going about my hours getting cake and a few sandwiches.
It's now week 3 and I'm almost done. I was given 4 weeks before the deadline to make a report on this house so the people I work for can get some info. They're not exactly well informed since most of the people have either died, "killed themselves", or simply walked out after a few days. The only reason I've survived this long is that I read every last bit of data I could from both historical records and the half-assed papers people put together before throwing their badges to the side and working for another newspaper. I'm barely getting anything interesting so far aside from the fever dream of a stay I'm getting from this place.
These days during the third week have been weird. I wake up at the same time only to hear humming. Musical humming, no particular song, just random notes. This is the wife humming while making some sort of breakfast. Her name is Rose, and her husband is Clark. Can't believe I've been referring to them as the husband and the wife all this time. It changes during these days but it ranges from bacon and eggs to cereal and orange juice with toast to a full pancake breakfast. They got bigger and bigger every day. On day one I stayed in my room until the humming stopped. Only lasted for about 15-20 minutes. After that, I would check the kitchen to find a freshly cooked breakfast. Rose wasn't anywhere in sight though.
I was hesitant to eat it at first since I wasn't sure what would happen. But I was hungry that morning and didn't feel like making the drive to the city so early in the morning. The food was good and I didn't feel poisoned or anything. I would set the dishes in the sink and take a shower. Not even 15 minutes later after getting out of the shower and getting dressed, the dishes were washed, dry, and sitting in the cupboards. I'm honestly not sure why people have been dying or quitting this trip. So far I've stayed out of their way and never really messed with anything. I feel like a guest here and act as one which is probably the key here. You can't live here, merely stay for a certain amount of time. I don't know how long that time frame is though.
Week 4, these last 7 days are my final chances to wrap this up before the deadline. I am nowhere closer to finding out how these past journalists died, why this couple did what they did, or anything like that. The best I'm going to do is probably pump out a short guide on how not to die here. This week was the hardest. The haunting extends all day. You see, the morning would start off as normal like last week. Waking up, hearing the humming, waiting for it to stop, eating breakfast, putting the dishes in the sink, etc. The real difference is that they are now visible and active all day and night.
Clark spends his day sitting on an armchair reading a newspaper, funny detail is that the date of the newspaper follows our date, Only the month and day, not the year. He is always dressed in a white dress shirt with the top button left undone. Simple ironed black dress pants with a leather belt neatly wrapped around them. Brown leather shoes, more like loafers actually. The kind of dress shoes you slip on. They were always shined and clean. His right leg is on the floor with his left leg stretched over his right. The newspaper covered his face. The only thing that could be seen from the other side was the occasional cigarette smoke puffing up.
The cigarette never had a scent though, phantom tobacco, funny. Rose would be sitting on the couch most of the time either knitting, reading a magazine, or watching the TV. It was a large black and white tv, the outside made of hardwood, the thick glass of the display, and the antenna sticking out of the top. Can't miss those two large dials on it. There was always something different on TV, one moment it was a cooking show, the news, and even a Western movie. The volume was always able to be heard but sort of faint as well. Kind of like a sort of background noise you barely notice after a while.
It was not a good idea to verbally or physically interact with them in any way. Not even looking at them was an option. I've never seen either of their face outside of photos because I'm always staring at my phone, or laptop, even intentionally staring at the floor. The carpet was very pleasant to look at. They never spoke during the day. Rose would sometimes clean the house. Sometimes dusting, vacuuming, and even washing the dishes. I lied, I've caught small glimpses of their faces from reflections. They are in their young age from the 60s, the prime of their life right before the major kill streak.
I can't even explain any of this. This house could slowly be turning into a self-contained instance of time. But that wouldn't make sense since the wifi here works, my money is up to date, and my tech can be charged. A few of the outlets were swapped out for more modern ones. Only the ones not already connected to appliances or the TV itself. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner would always appear on the table at different times of the day. Breakfast at 6 AM, lunch at noon, and dinner at 6 PM. I would always eat in silence and put the dishes in the sink. I've tried rinsing the dishes before at least but the water never touched them. I don't know how to explain it, but I would turn on the water and it would just phase through the dishware. I gave up after one day.
Well, this is the final day. I'll be scheduling this report to send itself in a few hours. I don't even want to manually do it since I'm rinsing my hands off this worthless paperwork once I leave. There was one thing I wanted to check out though. I'm going to continue this bit on my phone.
I always wanted to check out the basement. I forgot that it even existed this whole time. The door wasn't blocked or locked at all luckily. The door opened just fine, but the lightbulb turned on for about a second before blowing out. It didn't actually explode, but the light sort of just flashed and burned out like a flashbang. The steps are quite loud as they creak. I'm not sure what this smell is, it's like a mixture of gas and...rotten meat?
The door just closed itself, the only light I have down here is from my phone flashlight. There's some kind of red puddle leading to a room down here. I'm not liking it. I'm writing this live so my boss can read this. Yes, I know, hard to believe I'm actually being productive.
This...this is blood. There's a body in here. No wait, multiple bodies down here. I can see dozens or even hundreds of flies just covering these bodies. I think I recognize some of the badges around the necks. All of these bodies smell fresh. Is time frozen down here or something?
...shit. There are footsteps coming down here. I'm squeezed behind a broken-down fridge, perhaps Clark will just give up his search in a few minutes. My 911 alert just failed. This one message will probably be the last thing that'll automatically upload. I think I just made a horrible mistake. I wasn't supposed to come down here. If you're reading this, please call for hel---
*Connection lost*
*Report upload incoming*
I recently got to rent out a home from the 60s. This house is famous because of a couple that used to live here from the 60s to the 80s. They were known for killing people and families during this time period before finally being caught by the police. These were the things I've learned during my stay in this house:
- During the first week there will be dancing. From 10 PM to 6 AM there will be activity in the living room. The couple will appear out there and dance to a song called Put Your Head On My Shoulder along with a few others.
- They will assure you that it's fine to come out and join them. Don't do it. I've never attempted so I don't know if anything happens, but trust your gut.
- During week 2 they will start hosting a "party". The sound of many people will come from the living room as if people have come over for the evening. Every few hours the door will knock as someone on the other end will invite you to join everyone.
- During week 3 the haunting will break into the day. During the morning the wife will be in the kitchen making breakfast, do not leave your room until she is done. You can use the bathroom, just don't look or enter the kitchen. You will hear her humming for about 20 minutes. Once it stops, you can go about your day. The food is perfectly fine to eat and is actually encouraged. Make sure you put your dishes in the sink.
- During week 4, if you've survived this long, they will roam the house 24/7. Do not make eye contact with either of them. They'll mainly stay in the living room. The husband sitting on the armchair reading a newspaper and the wife reading a magazine or knitting. Occasionally she'll clean the house. If you are going to be in the living room, keep your eyes low and do not verbally interact with them.
- If you do...I'm not sure. There have been reports of them killing people during this time. Acting hostile at them or trying to kill them will not end well. Many have rented this place out and almost all of them have died. Some were filled with stab wounds, some were in the tub, drowned, and others were framed as if it were suicide. You may wonder why the government hasn't merely torn the house down. I'm not sure. It seems like the money they make from this place keeps it running longer.
- They will not force themselves into the room during the night. Unless you interact with them, they will not attack or come your way. Any food or snacks prepared is fully safe and encouraged to consume. Make sure you set dishes and silverware in the sink. They'll be cleaned when you're not working. Staying outside of the house is your best chance to live. Follow these rules.
submitted by Justhuman963 to StoryLaboratory [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 01:57 MJORH #PrideMonth

#PrideMonth submitted by MJORH to IASIP [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:48 London-Roma-1980 NON-CONFERENCE FINAL MATCHDAY (12) RESULTS

Everyone's ready to get to the conference season. It's entirely possible some people were overlooking the final non-conference game. Would focus be a problem? Who would get through with the momentum? And would the games played today matter when the Selection Committee gathered? Let's find out.
*****
#1 UCLA 87, #25 Illinois 74. It's been a long road through a lot of difficult teams, but UCLA did what they set out to do: repeat a 12-0 start.
Bill Walton had 20 points, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was two blocks shy of a triple-double, and the Bruins (12-0) took out the Illini (9-3) to run their winning streak to 49 and finish non-conference's play undefeated for the second consecutive year.
"We look at every game as important," Bruins coach John Wooden said after the game. "We're not about to slack off, and we're not about to take our focus down at all. Illinois is just as important as Kentucky to us."
For a while, the Illini road the hot hand of Derek Harper to stay with their foes. Harper had 14 points by halftime as the teams entered the locker room deadlocked at 43. However, Reggie Miller's defense kept Harper out of the scoring column in the second half and provided the difference.
"It's a 40-minute game, and I wasn't there for 40 minutes," Harper said.
#3 Kentucky 67, #8 Michigan 58. If UCLA is the undisputed #1, could Kentucky be the undisputed #2? Voters can be weird, but we'll see.
Cliff Hagan led all scorers with 15 points as the Wildcats (11-1) ended their non-conference schedule in style with a win over the Wolverines (9-3), who had been hoping for their second Super Five scalp of the season.
"I think this shows we still have room for improvement," Michigan coach John Beilein said after the game. "We need to make some adjustments before Big Ten play, but I think we can find them and do something with them."
Kentucky's starters, other than Hagan, struggled during the game. Dan Issel was held by Chris Webber to a mere 5 points on the night. But the Blue Line -- Kentucky's "second starters" as coach Adolph Rupp calls them -- came through in the clutch, as Jamal Mashburn had 12 points to spur an 11-3 run that put Kentucky up for good.
"It's a good luxury to have 10 starters," Rupp joked.
#4 Duke 72, #15 Southern Cal 68. In the NIBL postseason, you survive and advance. Duke is getting ready for that mentality early.
Elton Brand's 16 points and 11 rebounds led the way as the Blue Devils (10-2) held off the Trojans (9-3), who finished non-conference play 0-3 against the Super Five and 9-0 against everyone else.
"What that tells me is that we can be a 2 or 3 seed, and that the Sweet Sixteen is good, but it also says we have work to do to compete for the big prize," coach Sam Barry said when asked about the unusual split. "We'll have time to work on our game, we'll face UCLA a couple times... I hope we can improve over the course of the season."
Duke, meanwhile, enters ACC play with two close wins after a loss to Michigan. Coach Mike Krzyzewski isn't worried, though. "We'll be ready," he said to reporters. "We've played tough teams, and we're a tough team."
DeMar DeRozan led the Trojans with 15 points.
#5 Kansas 77, #9 Notre Dame 65. Notre Dame had been overachieving throughout the non-conference season. It had to come to an end with a reality check.
Paul Pierce took over in the second half, getting a personal 8-0 run as part of his 24 point outburst as the Jayhawks (10-2) knocked off the Fighting Irish (9-3) to enter Big XII play with momentum.
With the score tied at 55, Pierce hit a three-point jumper to give Kansas the lead. A steal by JoJo White followed, and White fed Pierce for a dunk to extend the lead to five. After an Adrian Dantley miss, Pierce drove the lane and got the layup plus a foul on Bill Laimbeer, completing the three-point play to give Kansas a lead they wouldn't give back.
"It's like my man [Kevin Garnett] says, anything is possible. We feel we can win it all, man," Pierce said after the game. "If Wilt [Chamberlain] is having a bad day, I can step up, Joel [Embiid] can step up, JoJo [White] can step up... we got options!"
Austin Carr led the Irish with 15 points.
#16 Maryland 71, #17 DePaul 66. George Mikan was rested and ready to go. Unfortunately, so was Len Bias.
Bias scored 22 points to lead all scorers and outduel Mikan (20 points) as the Terrapins (9-3) defeated the Blue Demons (8-4) in the final non-conference game for both teams.
"Len is our spark plug," coach Gary Williams said after the game. "When he gets an open floor, he's hard to beat. We're glad to have him on our team."
Mikan, who played sparingly in the previous game against Rhode Island, was a monster underneath in the halfcourt set. He went 9-13 from the field (2-2 from the line) and added 14 rebounds and 5 blocks. However, Bias was able to get around Mikan on multiple occasions for dunks, and sixth man John Lucas II made a critical three to provide the final score.
"They're good," Mikan admitted. "We're going to take these lessons and prep for the Big East."
#14 Arizona 90, #7 Syracuse 53. When the week began, Syracuse was 8-1 and looked like they could compete with the two Super Five teams in the ACC. Now, questions abound.
Jason Terry and Richard Jefferson each had 25 points as the Wildcats (9-3) sent the Orange (8-4) to their third straight defeat, all against Top 25 competition -- and all against the Pac-12.
"We're not taking anyone lightly," coach Jim Boeheim insisted. "The Pac-12 is a powerful conference. We just had a bad week. We're going to be drilling extra hard in practice to prepare for the ACC season."
Syracuse used their usual 2-3 zone, which discourages going inside and dares three-point shooters to hit their shots. But Terry and Jefferson did that, leading a barrage (with help from Mike Bibby and Steve Kerr) of 15-27 shooting from long-range.
"We just didn't miss," Jefferson said, amused. "We were all dialed in. Heat checks were going in. Everything worked."
Louisville 72, #22 Florida 59. It looks like Florida's stay in the Top 25 won't be repeated.
Donovan Mitchell had 19 points and 6 assists as the Cardinals (9-3) upset the Gators (8-4) to make a statement about their place in the ACC pecking order... and perhaps the Top 25 itself.
"Oh, we definitely belong," Mitchell said when asked. "You look at how we started the year, you look at who we beat; we deserve the recognition that teams like Duke and [North] Carolina do. ACC ain't all about Tobacco Road."
Gators coach Billy Donovan was disappointed in his team's effort. "We're capable of playing better, especially when we get the looks we got today," he said. "You can't do that against teams like Kentucky and Tennessee and expect to get away with it."
Bradley Beal led the Gators with 14 points.
Houston 80, #23 Iowa 67. Rumors of Houston's demise appear to be exaggerated. Iowa, meanwhile, may not be as strong as they looked.
Hakeem Olajuwon went for 21 points, 14 rebounds, 4 blocks, and 4 steals as the Cougars (9-3) jumped out to a 20-point lead by halftime and held on to beat the Hawkeyes (8-4) in the final non-conference game for both teams.
"Now that's more like it," coach Guy Lewis said of Olajuwon's performance. "We're a dangerous team when we click on all cylinders, and Hakeem is a big cylinder. We look ready for Big XII play now."
"We dug ourselves too deep of a hole," Hawkeye forward Connie Hawkins said after the game. "We need to start better and we need to finish better."
California 83, #20 Minnesota 75. The Pac-12 hopes to get more than three bids this season. If it's going to happen, teams like California have to step up the way they did today.
Jason Kidd had 17 points and Shareef Abdur-Rahim had 11 with 6 blocks as the Golden Bears (9-3) took out the Golden Gophers (8-4) in a battle of "golden" teams in the Big 10-Pac 12 rivalry.
"I love how Jason plays," Bears coach Pete Newell said after the game. "But I'm really proud of the progress Shareef has made. Today he dominated the paint on defense, and that's how we were able to get the W."
With Cal up 4 and a minute to go, Abdur-Rahim blocked a Mychal Thompson layup attempt. The scramble went to Archie Clark, who found Kevin McHale underneath. However, Abdur-Rahim blocked the dunk attempt, and Kevin Johnson ran the ball out to get fouled and begin the march to the free throw line.
"Everyone had a good game, and we had a good game," Johnson said.
*****
#24 UNLV 70, Princeton 66. In the mid-major non-conference game of the season, it was thought that Princeton's best chance was to keep UNLV from making it a full-court game. Add some three-pointers, and they could steal a win.
That's almost what happened. But talent won out in the end.
Shawn Marion led all scorers with 17 points as the Runnin' Rebels (8-4) held off the Tigers (7-5) in a game between two of the top mid-majors in the country.
"You gotta give them a ton of credit," coach Jerry Tarkanian said after the game. "Princeton is a team that doesn't lose easily. They're going to be a tough out down the line if, no, when they make the Dance."
With both teams trying to play at their more comfortable pace -- Princeton's average possession was about nine seconds longer than UNLV's -- it was play underneath that kept the Tigers alive. Bill Bradley and John Hummer each had 17 points as Sidney Green was unable to keep up defensively. But in the final seconds, Larry Johnson and Armen Gilliam denied inbound passes, forcing Brian Taylor to put up a three-pointer. It missed, and Reggie Theus' two free throws made the final score.
"So close and yet so far," Bradley told reporters.
*****
HOW THE TOP 25 FARED
  1. UCLA 87, 25. Illinois 74
  2. North Carolina 95, Arkansas 64
  3. Kentucky 67, 8. Michigan 58
  4. Duke 72, 15. Southern Cal 68
  5. Kansas 77, 9. Notre Dame 65
  6. Michigan State 108, Saint Louis 58
  7. Syracuse 53, 14. Arizona 90
  8. Michigan 58, 3. Kentucky 67
  9. Notre Dame 65, 5. Kansas 77
  10. Indiana 82, N.C. State 70
  11. Ohio State 72, Arizona State 58
  12. Connecticut 80, Tennessee 64
  13. Texas 75, Saint John's 74, OT
  14. Arizona 90, 7. Syracuse 53
  15. Southern Cal 68, 4. Duke 72
  16. Maryland 71, 17. DePaul 66
  17. DePaul 66, 16. Maryland 71
  18. LSU 80, West Virginia 71
  19. Georgetown 94, Tulsa 69
  20. Minnesota 75, California 83
  21. Alabama 69, Washington 68, OT
  22. Florida 59, Louisville 72
  23. Iowa 67, Houston 80
  24. UNLV 70, Princeton 66
  25. Illinois 74, 1. UCLA 87
submitted by London-Roma-1980 to BestOfDivI [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 15:09 seannestor This Week in Toledo 6/3/23

This Week in Toledo 6/3/23
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https://preview.redd.it/vqfgv168ys3b1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe5f891d22cac511f70d30faa8cea6cf5199341b
• On Monday, Bitwise Industries - the Fresno, California-based tech training company that has been renovating the former Jefferson Center downtown at 1300 Jefferson Ave. - furloughed its entire staff of 900 employees citing cash flow issues. A $33 million lawsuit has been filed against the company by its financial partners, who cite that they were misled and that contracts were breached.
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• On Tuesday, Toledo City Council voted 9-3 to approve a $180,000 contract with Louisville-based Cities United to develop a crime-reduction plan. Council members Hobbs, Moline, and Sarantou cast dissenting votes.
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• Also on Tuesday, City of Toledo Safety Director Brian Byrd announced he will be retiring on September 1. He has worked for the City since 1988.
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• On Wednesday, ProMedica announced that it plans to close the Goerlich Memory Center and a skilled nursing facility in Sylvania by August 31 as part of ongoing cost-cutting measures related to its dire financial position. The Goerlich Memory Center has been open since 1994.
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• On Thursday, the Toledo Area Regional Transit Authority (TARTA) launched its TARTA Summer Blast Pass, which allows young people aged 6 through 19 to make use of TARTA services at no cost through August 31. For more information, visit https://tarta.com/blast/
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• Also beginning Thursday, ratepayers are likely to see a hike of up to 47% on their electric bills due to rising energy costs influenced by the ongoing war between Russia and Ukraine. For those interested in changing their energy supplier, the Public Utilities Commission of Ohio (PUCO) operates a website comparing all available energy providers at http://www.energychoiceohio.gov/
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• The Ohio Department of Transportation has reintroduced plans to expand I-475 between Douglas Road and US-23. Several residents are concerned as the project will involve acquiring and demolishing homes as early as 2026.
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• The Ohio Controlling Board has earmarked $2,000,000 for cleanup in the Maumee River as well as $750,000 to Unison Behavioral Health Group to purchase a 16-bed residential treatment facility for those with severe and persistent mental illness.
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• On Saturday (June 3) from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., the City of Toledo is sponsoring a free disposal day at the Hoffman Road Landfill (3962 Hoffman Rd.) Lucas county residents can drop off bulk solid waste at no cost during this time. For more information, visit https://toledo.oh.gov/landfill
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• Also on Saturday (June 3) at 10 a.m. in the Old West End, the King Wamba Parade will kick off the 50th Annual Old West End Festival. For more information about the festival and the various events and activities taking place within it, visit http://www.toledooldwestend.com/festival
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• In further Saturday (June 3) events, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. the City of Toledo will host another public meeting at St. Martin de Porres Community Center (1119 Bancroft St.) for stakeholders to plan future development at the Swayne Field Shopping Center at Monroe Street and Detroit Avenue.
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• The East Toledo Family Center will host a Storybook Festival on Saturday (June 3) from 11 a.m. to 2 p.,. at Waite High School (301 Morrison Dr.). The entirely free event will include activities, raffles, a meet and greet with Spiderman, music, and prizes to promote literacy for children.
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• The Multicultural Twilight Market will take place on Saturday (June 3) from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at the Toledo Farmer's Market (525 Market St.). Shops operated by women, immigrants, and people of color will be present. There is no cost to attend.
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• Next Wednesday (June 7) at 12 p.m., the Toledo-Lucas County Public Library will launch its free Summer Music Series with a performance by Kerry Patrick Clark & Robbie Clark on the north lawn of the Main Branch Library (325 N. Michigan St.). Concerts will continue every Wednesday at 12 p.m. through August 8.
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• Also next Wednesday (June 7) from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m., City of Toledo District 1 Councilman John Hobbs will host a public town hall meeting at the Eleanor Kahle Senior Center (1315 Hillcrest Ave.). For more information, call 419-245-1611.
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• Next Thursday (June 8) from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., the 18th annual Lunch at Levis series will kick off at Levis Square Park (St. Clair St. and Madison Ave.) in downtown Toledo with a free concert by Kyle White. Each Thursday through September 21, free music, food trucks, and activities will be present at the park.
​
• You can receive This Week in Toledo via e-mail by subscribing at https://toledo.substack.com/subscribe. You can also receive updates on Facebook by liking the official page at https://www.facebook.com/thisweekintoledo.
​
News sources: The Blade, 13ABC
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2023.06.03 15:05 echopath Dive trip report: Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Philippines, Palau

Over the last six months, I’ve been in Asia (and the Pacific) bouncing around as part of a larger trip, but diving being a huge emphasis, accumulating around 200 dives during this period. I’m leaving some of my dive log notes and thoughts of each place since it would probably help people in planning which hotspots to go to within this region and how they compare to each other.
For additional context, I went into this trip having around 200 dives, mostly in the Caribbean and Red Sea, with a little bit of SEA experience.
I know it personally was difficult when doing research, especially when pretty much all of these are described as “wOrLd cLaSs” or “bEsT iN tHe wOrLd” to some varying degree (spoiler: not everything is IMO).
I personally dive because of reef health and fish life, so my notes are written with a heavy bias towards that. I acknowledge that bias so obviously places that only have a big muck / macro presence will be rated lower on here.
A-tier and above is a place I’d gladly go back to and dive again. I’d also recommend these places where you should make plans to travel here or go out of your way specifically to dive.
B-tier and above is good. Maybe not incredibly mindblowing but still good and worth doing nonetheless. But there are some flaws that keep it from being superb.
C-tier is mediocre. I could maybe find a few bright spots, but I didn’t find diving here to be particularly great or terrible at the same time. Just average. I wouldn’t make trips to dive these places specifically. I might recommend diving them if they overlap with some better stuff higher on in the list, but they’re skippable.
D to F-tier is just bad. Very little things to enjoy if at all. Avoid.
S
  • Raja Ampat, Alor
A+
  • Komodo, Palau
A
  • Nusa Penida, Apo Island
A-
  • Richelieu Rock, Kimud Shoal (sharks)
B+
  • Gato Island
B
  • Balicasag, Pamilican, Sipadan, Sogod Bay
B-
  • Kapalai, Hin Daeng / Hin Muang
C+
  • Panglao, Malapascua (local diving)
C
  • Surin Islands, Mabul, Koh Bida, Dauin
D
  • Similan Islands
F
  • Koh Haa

Malaysia

Sipadan, Mabul, Kapalai (15 dives)
Difficulty:
Wildlife:
Reef life:
Dive sites:
Overall: Sipadan B, Kapalai B-, Mabul C

Indonesia

Raja Ampat (20 dives)
Difficulty:
Wildlife:
Reef life
Dive sites:
Overall: S
Nusa Penida (15 dives)
Difficulty:
Wildlife:
Reef life:
Dive sites:
Overall: A
Komodo (30 dives)
Difficulty:
Wildlife:
Reef life:
Dive sites:
Overall: A+
Alor (25 dives)
Difficulty:
Wildlife:
Reef life:
Dive sites:
Overall: S

Palau (25 dives)

Difficulty:
Wildlife:
Reef Life:
Dive sites:
Overall: A+

Thailand

Andaman Sea (30 dives)
Difficulty:
Wildlife:
Reef life:
Dive sites:
Overall: Similans D, Surins C, Richelieu Rock A-, Hin Daeng / Muang B-, Koh Bida C, Koh Haa F
Anyway, feel free to AMA. No pics because I mostly record in video, and I'm too lazy to edit something together for now. Plus anyone can make any dive site look good with select shots.
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2023.06.03 11:06 Korashen Help on first shopping list

I want to build by first loop and could need a pair of eyes checking my shopping list.
I'm running a Fractal Design Pop XL Silent Black case with no glass or windows. So I don't care about the internal looks and RGBs will be turned off.
Front Radiator
Top Radiator
CPU Block for an AMD Ryzen 9 7950X (AM5)
GPU Block for an Zotac RTX3080ti Amp Holo Trinity whatever crazy name
Pump / Reservoire
Tubing
Liquid
I plan on layout out things like this, but ignore the placement of the lines/tube, there I'm just limited by my drawing skills: https://imgur.com/a/uf6vPis
Thank you in advance and don't be too harsh, I'm just getting into the whole water cooling tech.
submitted by Korashen to watercooling [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 13:46 London-Roma-1980 NON-CONFERENCE FINAL MATCHDAY (12) PREVIEW

The long road of Swiss is almost over. This is the last chance for teams that hope to get an at-large berth to get a big win to impress the committee before conference play begins. Can UCLA finish the sweep against Illinois? Can Top 25 newcomers solidify their position against those who used to be ranked? Will the mid-majors get the scalp they need?
Let's look at that last question, as the top mid-major team the last few seasons takes on a contender to the throne.
*****
UNLV Runnin' Rebels vs. Princeton Tigers.
If ever the phrase "contrast of styles" applied, it applies here. UNLV, as the name implies, loves to get out in the fast break lanes and emphasize their athleticism. Princeton, meanwhile, is cagey and intellectual, slowing the game down and making their defense a puzzle. Something has to give.
"We're going to see this in conference play [with Air Force], so I'm glad we're getting a taste of it now," Rebels coach Jerry Tarkanian said. "This is our chance to show the selection committee the strength we have and the depth that mid-majors provide. We're a mid-major in name only."
Princeton, meanwhile, is in a tenuous position. Whereas many pundits are predicting UNLV will be strong enough to make the NIBL tournament with or without the Mountain West's automatic bid, there's no certainty for the Tigers. The Ivy League doesn't have as much depth; as such, Princeton needs all the wins they can get.
"We know this is a big game for us," guard Geoff Petrie told reporters. "We have to have a win."
ROSTERS
​
UNLV Runnin' Rebels (7-4) # Princeton Tigers (7-4)
Stacey AUGMON 0 Bill BRADLEY
Marcus BANKS 1 Devin CANNADY
Keon CLARK 2 Brian EARL
Armen GILLIAM 3 Steve GOODRICH
Glen GONDREZICK 4 Armond HILL
Sidney GREEN 5 Ian HUMMER
Larry JOHNSON 6 John HUMMER
Derrick JONES Jr 7 Mike KEARNS
Shawn MARION 8 Gabe LEWULLIS
Tyrone NESBY 9 Ted MANAKAS
Isaiah RIDER 10 Bud PALMER
Robert SMITH 11 Geoff PETRIE
Ricky SOBERS 12 Brian TAYLOR
Reggie THEUS 13 Judson WALLACE
Christian WOOD 14 Chris YOUNG
LINE: UNLV by 21
*****
TOP 25 GAMES
#1 UCLA (11-0) at #25 Illinois (9-2)
#3 Kentucky (10-1) at #8 Michigan (9-2)
#4 Duke (9-2) at #15 Southern Cal (9-2)
#10 Indiana (9-2) at N.C. State (9-2)
#5 Kansas (9-2) at #9 Notre Dame (9-2)
#2 North Carolina (9-2) at Arkansas (9-2)
#17 DePaul (8-3) at #16 Maryland (8-3)
#22 Florida (8-3) at Louisville (8-3)
#23 Iowa (8-3) at Houston (8-3)
#18 LSU (8-3) at West Virginia (8-3)
#20 Minnesota (8-3) at California (8-3)
#11 Ohio State (8-3) at Arizona State (8-3)
Saint John's (8-3) at #13 Texas (8-3)
#7 Syracuse (8-3) at #14 Arizona (8-3)
Tennessee (8-3) at #12 Connecticut (8-3)
Washington (8-3) at #21 Alabama (8-3)
#6 Michigan State (8-3) at Saint Louis (7-4)
Tulsa (7-4) at #19 Georgetown (7-4)
#24 UNLV (7-4) at Princeton (7-4)
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2023.06.02 06:36 MiyaDoesThings Bike tire absolutely will not inflate

Hi all! This past weekend I picked up a folding bike off of FB marketplace (Columba 20”). When the seller pulled it out of storage she told me that the front tire needed some air, but I told her it was just a quick fix, so it was fine!
It has not been a quick fix. No matter what I’ve tried, the front tire will NOT take any air. I’ve tried 3 different bike pumps and I’ve replaced the tube. Nothing seems to be working.
The tire treads look fine, too; the seller said she barely used it.
Here’s some pictures of the tire deflation. Back tire is fine!
Edit: Very anti-climactic end to this whole saga. All 3 bike pumps I tried were just extremely shitty. A nice spritz from the air compressor at the bike shop did the trick.
submitted by MiyaDoesThings to bikewrench [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 18:27 AttakTheZak [DISCUSSION] Why Are We In Ukraine by Layne & Schwarz - Part 2: How To Poke A Bear

Introduction

This is part 2 of the research/discussion series on the wonderful article Why Are We in Ukraine? by Schwarz & Layne. This is a continuation of the previous post, which you can find HERE. Given the relative success in finding and sourcing most of that first portion, I'd like to continue with the series to the next section of the article. If you are interested in participating, please comment below with any relevant points of evidence that addresses portions of the article. I'll be regularly updating this post with points to help future visitors to better navigate the article and the discussion below.
I look forward to seeing you all in the comments!

Part 2: How To Poke A Bear

One early sign of this fundamental change was Washington’s covert, overt, and (perhaps most important) overtly covert interference in Russia’s affairs during the early and mid-Nineties—a project of political, social, and economic engineering that included funneling some $1.8 billion to political movements, organizations, and individuals deemed ideologically compatible with U.S. interests [1] and culminated in American meddling in Russia’s 1996 presidential election. [2] Of course, great powers have always manipulated both their proxies and smaller neighboring states. But by so baldly intervening in Russia’s internal affairs, Washington signaled to Moscow that the sole superpower felt no obligation to follow the norms of great power politics and, perhaps more galling, no longer regarded Russia as a power with sensibilities that had to be considered.
Moscow’s alarm over the hegemonic role America had assigned itself was intensified by what could fairly be characterized as the bellicose utopianism demonstrated by Washington’s series of regime-change wars. In 1989, just as the U.S.-Soviet global rivalry was ending, the United States assumed its self-appointed role as “the sole remaining superpower” by launching its invasion of Panama. [5] Moscow issued a statement criticizing the invasion as a violation of “the sovereignty and honor of other nations,” but neither Moscow nor any other great power took any explicit action to protest the United States’ exercising its sway in its own strategic backyard. Nonetheless, because no foreign power was using Panama as a foothold against the United States—and thus Manuel Noriega’s regime posed no conceivable threat to America’s security—the invasion neatly established the post–Cold War ground rules: American force would be used, and international law contravened, not only in pursuit of tangible national interests, but also in order to depose governments that Washington deemed unsavory. America’s regime-change war in Iraq—declared “illegal” by U.N. secretary general Kofi Annan—and its wider ambitions to engender a democratic makeover in the Middle East demonstrated the range and lethality of its globalizing impulse. More immediately disquieting to Moscow, against the backdrop of NATO’s steady eastward push, were the implications of the U.S.-led alliance’s regime-change wars in the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia in 1999 and, twelve years later, in Libya. [3]
Although Washington presented the U.S.-led NATO bombing of Yugoslavia as an intervention to forestall human rights abuses in Kosovo, the reality was far murkier. American policymakers presented Belgrade with an ultimatum that imposed conditions no sovereign state could accept: relinquish sovereignty over the province of Kosovo and allow free reign to NATO forces throughout Yugoslavia. (As a senior State Department official reportedly said in an off-the-record briefing, “[We] deliberately set the bar higher than the Serbs could accept.” [3] ) Washington then intervened in a conflict between the brutal Kosovo Liberation Army (KLA)—a force that had previously been denounced by the U.S. State Department as a terrorist organization [4]—and the military forces of the equally brutal regime of Slobodan Milošević. The KLA’s vicious campaign—including the kidnapping and execution of Yugoslav officials, police, and their families—provoked Yugoslavia’s equally vicious response, including both murderous reprisals and indiscriminate military actions against civilian populations suspected of aiding the insurgents. Through a stenographic process in which “ethnic-Albanian militants, humanitarian organizations, NATO and the news media fed off each other to give genocide rumors credibility,” to quote a retrospective investigation by the Wall Street Journal in 2001, this typical insurgency was transformed into Washington’s righteous casus belli. [3] (A similar process would soon unfold in the run-up to the Gulf War.)
It was not lost on Russia that Washington was bombing Belgrade in the name of universal humanitarian principles while giving friends and allies such as Croatia and Turkey a free pass for savage counterinsurgencies that included the usual war crimes, human rights abuses, and forced removals of civilian populations. President Yeltsin and Russian officials strenuously, if impotently, protested the Washington-led war on a country with which Russia traditionally had close political and cultural ties. Indeed, NATO and Russian troops nearly clashed at the airport in Kosovo’s provincial capital. (The confrontation was only averted when a British general defied the order of his superior, NATO supreme commander U.S. general Wesley Clark, to deploy troops to block the arrival of Russian paratroopers, telling him: “I’m not going to start World War III for you.”) [3] Ignoring Moscow, NATO waged its war against Yugoslavia without U.N. sanction and destroyed civilian targets, killing some five hundred non-combatants (actions that Washington considers violations of international norms when conducted by other powers). The operation not only toppled a sovereign government, but also forcibly altered a sovereign state’s borders (again, actions that Washington considers violations of international norms when conducted by other powers).
NATO similarly conducted its war in Libya in the face of valid Russian alarm. That war went beyond its defensive mandate—as Moscow protested—when NATO transformed its mission from the ostensible protection of civilians to the overthrow of Muammar Qaddafi’s regime. The escalation, justified by a now-familiar process involving false and misleading stories pedaled by armed rebels and other interested parties, produced years of violent disorder in Libya and made it a haven for jihadis. Both wars were fought against states that, however distasteful, posed no threat to any NATO member. Their upshot was the recognition in both Moscow and Washington of NATO’s new power, ambit, and purpose. The alliance had been transformed from a supposedly mutual defense pact designed to repel an attack on its members into the preeminent military instrument of American power in the post–Cold War world.
Russia’s growing concern over Washington’s hegemonic ambitions has been reinforced by the profound shift, since the Nineties, of the nuclear balance in Washington’s favor. The nuclear standoff between the United States and Russia is the dominant fact of their relationship—a fact not nearly conspicuous enough in the current conversations about the war in Ukraine. Long after Putin, and irrespective of whether Russia is converted to a market democracy, the preponderance of each country’s nuclear missiles will be aimed at the other; every day, the nuclear-armed submarines of one will be patrolling just off the coast of the other. If they’re lucky, both countries will be managing this situation forever.
Throughout the Cold War, Russia and the United States both knew that a nuclear war was unwinnable—an attack by one would surely produce a cataclysmic riposte by the other. Both sides carefully monitored this “delicate balance of terror,” as the American nuclear strategist Albert Wohlstetter put it in 1959, devoting enormous intellectual resources and sums of money to recalibrating in response to even the slightest perceived alterations. Rather than attempting to maintain that stable nuclear balance, however, Washington has been pursuing nuclear dominance for the past thirty years.
Beginning in the early Aughts, a number of defense analysts—most prominently Keir A. Lieber, a professor at Georgetown, and Daryl G. Press, a professor at Dartmouth and a former consultant to both the Pentagon and the RAND Corporation—expressed concern about a convergence of strategic developments that have been under way since the dawn of America’s “unipolar moment.” The first was the precipitous qualitative erosion of Russian nuclear capabilities. Throughout the Nineties and Aughts, that decline primarily affected Russia’s monitoring of American ICBM fields, its missile-warning networks, and its nuclear submarine forces—all crucial elements to maintaining a viable deterrent. Meanwhile, as Russia’s nuclear capabilities decayed, America’s grew increasingly lethal. Reflecting the seemingly exponential progress of its so-called military-technological revolution, America’s arsenal became immensely more precise and powerful, even as it declined in size.
These improvements didn’t fit with the aim of deterring an adversary’s nuclear attack—which requires only the nuclear capacity for a “countervalue” strike on enemy cities. They were, however, necessary for a disarming “counterforce” strike, capable of preempting a Russian retaliatory nuclear response. “What the planned force appears best suited to provide,” as a 2003 RAND report on the U.S. nuclear arsenal concluded, “is a preemptive counterforce capability against Russia and China. Otherwise, the numbers and the operating procedures simply do not add up.”
This new nuclear posture would obviously unsettle military planners in Moscow, who had undertaken similar studies. They no doubt perceived Washington’s 2002 withdrawal from the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty—about which Moscow repeatedly expressed its objections—in light of these changes in the nuclear balance, grasping that Washington’s withdrawal and its concomitant pursuit of various missile defense schemes would enhance America’s offensive nuclear capabilities. Although no missile defense system could shield the United States from a full-scale nuclear attack, a system could plausibly defend against the very few missiles an adversary might have left after an effective U.S. counterforce strike.
To Russian strategists, Washington’s pursuit of nuclear primacy was presumably still further evidence of America’s effort to force Russia to accede to the U.S.-led global order. Moreover, the means that Washington employed to realize that ambition would justifiably strike Moscow as deeply reckless. The initiatives the United States has pursued—advances in anti-submarine and anti-satellite warfare, in missile accuracy and potency, and in wide-area remote sensing—have rendered Russia’s nuclear forces all the more vulnerable. In such circumstances, Moscow would be sorely tempted to buy deterrence at the cost of dispersing its nuclear forces, decentralizing its command-and-control systems, and implementing “launch on warning” policies. All such countermeasures could cause crises to escalate uncontrollably and trigger the unauthorized or accidental use of nuclear weapons. Paradoxically, mutually assured destruction provided decades of peace and stability. To remove the mutuality by cultivating overwhelming counterforce (i.e., first-strike) capabilities is—in another paradox—to court volatility and an increased likelihood of a grossly destructive nuclear exchange.
Since the nadir of Russian power in the decade and a half following the Soviet collapse, Russia has bolstered both its nuclear deterrent and, to a degree, its counterforce capabilities. Despite this, America’s counterforce lead has actually grown. And yet, U.S. leaders often act affronted when Russia makes moves to update its own nuclear capabilities. “From the vantage point of Moscow . . . U.S. nuclear forces look truly fearsome and they are,” Lieber and Press observe. The United States, they continue, is “playing strategic hardball in the nuclear domain, and then acting like the Russians are paranoid for fearing U.S. actions.”
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2023.06.01 12:39 Ok-Guitar6116 Day safe by the bell

Day safe by the bell
My yesterday 🦄 I
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