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Hello peeps,
I'm somewhat of an artist and I'm currently working on an video essay regarding the USA Trans Situation. I was writing some texts, analyzing where the hate is coming from, who is benefitting from it, why its happening and what to do and what not to do about it etc.
Thing is, a few of my fellow art friends have said that I'm not qualified to talk about the US Situation, since I'm not from the US. I think the idea behind the criticism is, that I am not directly involved in the struggle and should therefore remain silent.
I, on the other hand, think that, as a trans fem myself, we are in this fight together, globally, and should support eachother in our struggle, globally. I'm also not financially benefitting from it, or making money of of it, so.. I don't get it. But maybe I'm wrong.
So before I continue to work on my project and finish it, I'd rather ask you what you think, regarding this topic.

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I wrote a post the other day, and most people hated on me, but anyway a common theme was high costs.
I just wondered if meds were a cost? (I'm UK based so 'free' to us albeit tax levels are awful)
What are the other main tx costs you get in your country?
If so a couple examples from me: 1 - I used to take 5mg tacro day and night, but in 2000 after I saw a Chinese acupuncturist he said my system was out of balance, especially digestion and gave me some ban lan gen tea too. (don't just take this it's important to have tailored herbs as they work in opposite ways in different people). Anyway my hospital asked if I'd taken my meds just before the blood test as the tacro levels were so high, I hadn't, and they ended up having to reduce me down all the way to 1mg tac morning and night, which I'm still on today. The hospital simultaneously admonished me for doing this! 2 - I recently wasn't listening to my own advice and had a few extra pounds, slightly sugary diet, and blood pressure spiking at 180/100, even with rampril, and adding amlodopine, and they were going to put me on isopro* (something/whatevs) too for heart blood flow (I have quite high atherosclerosis over the decades). But I got my shizzle together, started working out every morning, cut my calories down, and now am just on the rampril with great blood pressure. So that's two BP meds I don't have to worry about.

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.

I currently have a 1080 in my old 2013 build that has an i5 4570. It plays fine for most games I play, but obviously the bottleneck is there on games like Resident Evil 4 and Cyberpunk.
I can't afford a new graphics card, but I'd like a new tower that I can use before I'm able to. Something that will handle a 4000 series or even further into the future (can't predict I know) since I'm fine sitting with the 1080 for as long as possible. Just want the rest of the build to be future proof.

What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?

1000+

When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

Not rushing to

What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

Tower, OS

Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?

Canada, Alberta

If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.

Razor mouse and keyboard

Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?

Potentially

Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)

SSD 1-2tb with 2tb HDD

Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

I don't care about case cosmetics

Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?

I have windows 10 upgraded from 8.1 on my current PC, so I'm guessing I will

PODCAST: https://ayearofwarandpeace.podbean.com/e/ep1519-hail-and-farewell-george-moore-ave-chapter-102/
PROMPTS: byo
Today's Reading, via Project Gutenberg:
One day Father James said the time would come when I would give up hunting—everything, for the classics, and I rode home, elated, to tell my mother the prophecy. But she burst out laughing, leaving me in no doubt whatever that she looked upon Father James's idea of me as an excellent joke; and the tragedy of it all is that I accepted her casual point of view without consideration, carrying it almost at once into reality, playing truant instead of going to my Latin lesson. Father James, divested of his scholarship, became a mere priest in my eyes. I think that I avoided him, and am sure that I hardly ever saw him again, except at Mass.
A strange old church is Carnacun, built in the form of a cross, with whitewashed walls and some hardened earth for floor; and I should be hard set to discover in my childhood an earlier memory than the panelled roof, designed and paid for by my father, who had won the Chester Cup some years before. The last few hundred pounds of his good fortune were spent in pitch-pine rafters and boards, and he provided a large picture of the Crucifixion, painted by my cousin, Jim Browne, who happened to be staying at Moore Hall at the time, from Tom Kelly the lodge-keeper, the first nude model that ever stood up in Mayo (Mayo has always led the way—Ireland's van-bird for sure). It was taken in great pomp from Moore Hall to Carnacun; and the hanging of it was a great and punctilious affair. A board had to be nailed at the back whereby a rope could be attached to hoist it into the roof, and lo! Mickey Murphy drove a nail through one of the gilt leaves which served as a sort of frame for the picture. My father shouted his orders to the men in the roof that they were to draw up the picture very slowly, and, lest it should sway and get damaged in the swaying, strings were attached to it. My father and mother each held a string, and the third may have been held by Jim Browne, or perhaps I was allowed to hold it.
Some time afterwards a Blessed Virgin and a St Joseph came down from Dublin, and they were painted and gilded by my father, and so beautifully, that they were the admiration of every one for a very long while, and it was Jim Browne's Crucifixion and these anonymous statues that awakened my first aesthetic emotions. I used to look forward to seeing them all the way from Moore Hall to Carnacun—a bleak road as soon as our gate-lodge was passed: on one side a hill that looked as if it had been peeled; on the other some moist fields, divided by small stone walls, liked by me in those days, for they were excellent practice for my pony. Along this road our tenantry used to come from the villages, the women walking on one side (the married women in dark blue cloaks, the girls hiding their faces behind their shawls, carrying their boots in their hands, which they would put on in the chapel yard), the men walking on the other side, the elderly men in traditional swallow-tail coats, knee-breeches, and worsted stockings; the young men in corduroy trousers and frieze coats. As we passed, the women curtsied in their red petticoats; the young men lifted their round bowler-hats; but the old men stood by, their tall hats in their hands. At the bottom of every one was a red handkerchief, and I remember wisps of grey hair floating in the wind. Our tenantry met the tenantry of Clogher and Tower Hill, and they all collected round the gateway of the chapel to admire the carriages of their landlords. We were received like royalty as we turned in through the gates and went up the wooden staircase leading to the gallery, frequented by the privileged people of the parish—by us, and by our servants, the postmaster and postmistress from Ballyglass, and a few graziers. In the last pew were the police, and after the landlords these were the most respected.
As soon as we were settled in our pew the acolytes ventured from the sacristy tinkling their bells, the priest following, carrying the chalice covered with the veil. As the ceremony of the Mass had never caught my fancy, I used to spend my time looking over the pew into the body of the church, wondering at the herd of peasantry, trying to distinguish our own serfs among those from the Tower Hill and Clogher estates. Pat Plunket, a highly respectable tenant (he owned a small orchard), I could always discover; he knelt just under us, and in front of a bench, the only one in the body of the church, and about him collected those few that had begun to rise out of brutal indigence. Their dress and their food were slightly different from the commoner kind. Pat Plunket and Mickey Murphy, the carpenter, not the sawyer, were supposed to drink tea and eat hot cakes. The others breakfasted off Indian-meal porridge. And to Pat Plunket's bench used to come a tall woman, whose grace of body the long blue-black cloak of married life could not hide. I liked to wonder which among the men about her might be her husband. And a partial memory still lingers of a cripple that was allowed to avail himself of Pat Plunket's bench. His crutches were placed against the wall, and used to catch my eye, suggesting thoughts of what his embarrassment would be if they were taken away whilst he prayed. A great unknown horde of peasantry from Ballyglass and beyond it knelt in the left-hand corner, and after the Communion they came up the church with a great clatter of brogues to hear the sermon, leaving behind a hideous dwarf whom I could not take my eyes off, so strange was his waddle as he moved about the edge of the crowd, his huge mouth grinning all the time.
Our pew was the first on the right-hand side, and the pew behind us was the Clogher pew, and it was filled with girls—Helena, Livy, Lizzy, and May—the first girls I ever knew; and these are now under the sod—all except poor Livy, an old woman whom I sometimes meet out with her dog by the canal. In the first few on the left was a red landlord with a frizzled beard and a perfectly handsome wife, and behind him was Joe McDonnel from Carnacun House, a great farmer, and the wonder of the church, so great was his belly. I can see these people dimly, like figures in the background of a picture; but the blind girl is as clear in my memory as if she were present. She used to kneel behind the Virgin's altar and the Communion rails, almost entirely hidden under an old shawl, grown green with age; and the event of every Sunday, at least for me, was to see her draw herself forward when the Communion bell rang, and lift herself to receive the wafer that the priest placed upon her tongue and having received it, she would sink back, overcome, overawed, and I used to wonder at her piety, and think of the long hours she spent sitting by the cabin fire waiting for Sunday to come round again. On what roadside was that cabin? And did she come, led by some relative or friend, or finding her way down the road by herself? Questions that interested me more than anybody else, and it was only at the end of a long inquiry that I learnt that she came from one of the cabins opposite Carnacun House. Every time we passed that cabin I used to look out for her, thinking how I might catch sight of her in the doorway; but I never saw her except in the chapel. Only once did we meet her as we drove to Ballyglass, groping her way, doubtless, to Carnacun. Where else would she be going? And hearing our horses' hoofs she sank closer to the wall, overawed, into the wet among the falling leaves.
As soon as the Communion was over Father James would come forward, and thrusting his hands under the alb (his favourite gesture) he would begin his sermon in Irish (in those days Irish was the language of the country among the peasantry), and we would sit for half an hour, wondering what were the terrible things he was saying, asking ourselves if it were pitchforks or ovens, or both, that he was talking; for the peasantry were groaning aloud, the women not infrequently falling on their knees, beating their breasts; and I remember being perplexed by the possibility that some few tenantry might be saved, for if that happened how should we meet them in heaven? Would they look another way and pass us by without lifting their hats and crying: Long life to yer honour?
My memories of Carnacun Chapel and Father James Browne were interrupted by a sudden lurching forward of the car, which nearly flung me into the road. Whelan apologised for himself and his horse, but I damned him, for I was annoyed at being awakened from my dream. There was no hope of being able to pick it up again, for the chapel bell was pealing down the empty landscape, calling the peasants from their desolute villages. It seemed to me that the Carnacun bell used to cry across the moist fields more cheerfully; there was a menace in the Gort bell as there is in the voice of a man who fears that he may not be obeyed, and this gave me an interest in the Mass I was going to hear. It would teach me something of the changes that had happened during my absence. The first thing I noticed as I approached the chapel was the smallness of the crowd of men about the gateposts; only a few figures, and they surly and suspicious fellows, resolved not to salute the landlord, yet breaking away with difficulty from traditional servility. Our popularity had disappeared with the laws that favoured us, but Whelan's appearance counted for something in the decaying sense of rank among the peasantry, and I mentally reproached Edward for not putting his servant into livery. It interested me to see that the superstitions of Carnacun were still followed: the peasants dipped their fingers in a font and sprinkled themselves, and the only difference that I noticed between the two chapels was one for the worse; the windows at Gort were not broken, and the happy, circling swallows did not build under the rafters. It was easier to discover differences in the two congregations. My eyes sought vainly the long dark cloak of married life, nor did I succeed in finding an old man in knee-breeches and worsted stockings, nor a girl drawing her shawl over her head.
The Irish language is inseparable from these things, I said, and it has gone. The sermon will be in English, or in a language as near English as those hats and feathers are near the fashions that prevail in Paris.
The Gort peasants seemed able to read, for they held prayer-books, and as if to help them in their devotion a harmonium began to utter sounds as discordant as the red and blue glass in the windows, and all the time the Mass continued very much as I remembered it, until the priest lifted his alb over his head and placed it upon the altar (Father James used to preach in the vestment, I said to myself); and very slowly and methodically the Gort priest tried to explain the mystery of Transubstantiation to the peasants, who lent such an indifferent ear to him that it was difficult not to think that Father James's sermons, based on the fear of the devil, were more suitable to Ireland.
A Mass only rememberable for a squealing harmonium, some panes in terrifying blues and reds, and my own great shame. However noble my motive may have been, I had knelt and stood with the congregation; I had even bowed my head, making believe by this parade that I accepted the Mass as a truth. It could not be right to do this, even for the sake of the Irish Literary Theatre, and I left the chapel asking myself by what strange alienation of the brain had Edward come to imagine that a piece of enforced hypocrisy on my part could be to any one's advantage.
It seemed to me that mortal sin had been committed that morning; a sense of guilt clung about me. Edward was consulted. Could it be right for one who did not believe in the Mass to attend Mass? He seemed to acquiesce that it might not be right, but when Sunday came round again my refusal to get on the car so frightened him that I relinquished myself to his scruples, to his terror, to his cries. The reader will judge me weak, but it should be remembered that he is my oldest friend, and it seemed to me that we should never be the same friends again if I refused; added to which he had been telling me all the week that he was getting on finely with his third act, and for the sake of a hypothetical act I climbed up on the car.
Now, Whelan, don't delay putting up the horse. Mind you're in time for Mass, and don't leave the chapel until the last Gospel has been read.
Must we wait for Benediction? I cried ironically.
Edward did not answer, possibly because he does not regard Benediction as part of the liturgy, and is, therefore, more or less indifferent to it. The horse trotted and Whelan clacked his tongue, a horrible noise from which I tried to escape by asking him questions.
Are the people quiet in this part of the country? Quite enough, he answered, and I thought I detected a slightly contemptuous accent in the syllables.
Not much life in the country? I hear the hunting is going to be stopped?
Parnell never told them to stop the hunting.
You're a Parnellite?
He was a great man.
The priests went against him, I said, because he loved another man's wife.
And O'Shea not living with her at the time.
Even if he had been, I answered, Ireland first of all, say I. He was a great man.
He was that.
And the priest at Gort—was he against him?
Wasn't he every bit as bad as the others?
Then you don't care to go to his church?
I'd just as lief stop away.
It's strange, Whelan; it's strange that Mr Martyn should insist on my going to Gort to Mass. Of what use can Mass be to any one if he doesn't wish to hear it?
Whelan chuckled, or seemed to chuckle.
He will express no opinion, I said to myself, and abstractions don't interest him. So, turning to the concrete, I spoke of the priest who was to say Mass, and Whelan agreed that he had gone agin Parnell.
Well, Whelan, it's a great waste of time going to Gort to hear a Mass one doesn't want to hear, and I have business with Mr Yeats.
Maybe you'd like me to turn into Coole, sur?
I was thinking we might do that ... only you won't speak to Mr Martin about it, will you? Because, you see Whelan, every one has his prejudices, and I am a great friend of Mr Martyn, and wouldn't like to disappoint him.
Wouldn't like to contrairy him, sur?
That's it, Whelan. Now, what about your dinner? You don't mind having your dinner in a Protestant house?
It's all one to me, sur.
The dinner is the main point, isn't it, Whelan?
Begad it is sur, and he turned the horse in through the gates.
Just go round, I said, and put the horse up and say nothing to anybody.
Yes, sur.

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Company of Heroes 2 - The Western Front Armies	0.8 TF2	$1.59 PP	-
Company of Heroes 2	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
Company of Heroes 2: Master Collection	6.0 TF2	$12.68 PP	-
Company of Heroes Complete Pack	5.4 TF2	$11.43 PP	-
Company of Heroes	1.5 TF2	$3.07 PP	-
Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Conan Exiles	1.6 TF2	$3.3 PP	-
Construction Simulator 2015	1.0 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
Contagion	0.5 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Control Ultimate Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.94 PP	-
Crash Bandicoot™ N. Sane Trilogy	9.0 TF2	$19.09 PP	-
Creaks	0.3 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Creed: Rise to Glory™	2.2 TF2	$4.54 PP	-
Crusader Kings II: Royal Collection	2.7 TF2	$5.77 PP	-
Crusader Kings III	3.9 TF2	$8.18 PP	-
CryoFall	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Crysis® 2 Maximum Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.05 PP	-
Cultist Simulator Anthology Edition	2.4 TF2	$4.96 PP	-
Cultist Simulator	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PP	-
DARK SOULS™ III Deluxe Edition	17.7 TF2	$37.44 PP	-
DEATHLOOP	2.2 TF2	$4.7 PP	-
DIRT 5	4.0 TF2	$8.46 PP	-
DMC - Devil May Cry	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
DRAGON BALL FIGHTERZ - Ultimate Edition	3.7 TF2	$7.85 PP	-
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2	1.7 TF2	$3.63 PP	-
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE	0.6 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
DRAGONBALL XENOVERSE Bundle Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.35 PP	-
DRIFT21	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Dark Deity	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin	8.2 TF2	$17.31 PP	-
Dark Souls III	11.2 TF2	$23.68 PP	-
Darkest Dungeon	0.6 TF2	$1.23 PP	-
Darksiders Genesis	1.1 TF2	$2.4 PP	-
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
Darksiders III	0.8 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Day of the Tentacle Remastered	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
DayZ	6.1 TF2	$12.95 PP	-
Dead Estate	1.5 TF2	$3.13 PP	-
Dead Island - Definitive Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Dead Island Definitive Collection	1.6 TF2	$3.28 PP	-
Dead Island Riptide - Definitive Edition	0.3 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Dead Rising 2: Off the Record	1.2 TF2	$2.47 PP	-
Dead Rising 3 Apocalypse Edition	1.9 TF2	$4.0 PP	-
Dead Rising 4	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Dead Rising	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
Dead Rising® 2	1.2 TF2	$2.62 PP	-
Death Road to Canada	1.2 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
Death's Gambit	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Deep Rock Galactic	4.5 TF2	$9.39 PP	-
Descenders	0.6 TF2	$1.36 PP	-
Desperados III	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Destroy All Humans	0.6 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Director's Cut	1.2 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided	1.1 TF2	$2.27 PP	-
Devil May Cry HD Collection	1.4 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
Devil May Cry® 4 Special Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.94 PP	-
Dinosaur Fossil Hunter	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Distance	0.7 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Distant Worlds: Universe	0.6 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Doom Eternal	2.0 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
Door Kickers	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Dorfromantik	1.9 TF2	$4.07 PP	-
Dragon Ball FighterZ	1.7 TF2	$3.58 PP	-
Dragons Dogma - Dark Arisen	0.8 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Drake Hollow	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Drone Swarm	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Dungeon Defenders: Awakened	4.9 TF2	$10.28 PP	-
Dungreed	0.9 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
Duskers	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair	2.3 TF2	$4.95 PP	-
ELEX	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
EVERSPACE™	0.8 TF2	$1.62 PP	-
Elite: Dangerous	1.7 TF2	$3.6 PP	-
Empire of Sin	1.2 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Endzone - A World Apart	0.6 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Euro Truck Simulator 2	1.3 TF2	$2.79 PP	-
Exanima	2.3 TF2	$4.87 PP	-
FTL: Faster Than Light	1.2 TF2	$2.6 PP	-
Fable Anniversary	3.1 TF2	$6.61 PP	-
Fallout 76	2.0 TF2	$4.19 PP	-
Fantasy General II	0.5 TF2	$0.99 PP	-
Farming Simulator 17	0.5 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Firefighting Simulator - The Squad	5.9 TF2	$12.49 PP	-
First Class Trouble	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
For The King	0.7 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
Forager	1.4 TF2	$2.89 PP	-
Forts	3.3 TF2	$6.96 PP	-
Friday the 13th: The Game	2.3 TF2	$4.95 PP	-
Frostpunk	1.2 TF2	$2.47 PP	-
Full Metal Furies	0.5 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
Furi	0.7 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
GOD EATER 2 Rage Burst	1.7 TF2	$3.58 PP	-
GRID - Ultimate	1.0 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
GRIS	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Gamedec	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Gang Beasts	2.9 TF2	$5.99 PP	-
Garden Paws	0.8 TF2	$1.79 PP	-
Gas Station Simulator	1.5 TF2	$3.22 PP	-
Gears 5	4.6 TF2	$9.65 PP	-
Gears Tactics	4.2 TF2	$8.95 PP	-
Generation Zero®	1.2 TF2	$2.48 PP	-
Genital Jousting	0.6 TF2	$1.19 PP	-
Goat Simulator	0.4 TF2	$0.93 PP	-
Godlike Burger	1.4 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
Golf With Your Friends	1.1 TF2	$2.42 PP	-
Gordian Quest	1.7 TF2	$3.61 PP	-
Gotham Knights	5.2 TF2	$10.97 PP	-
GreedFall	0.8 TF2	$1.59 PP	-
Grim Dawn	3.3 TF2	$6.96 PP	-
Grim Fandango Remastered	0.5 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Guacamelee! 2	0.6 TF2	$1.28 PP	-
HITMAN™2 Gold Edition	2.8 TF2	$5.89 PP	-
HIVESWAP: Act 2	2.0 TF2	$4.2 PP	-
HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™	1.7 TF2	$3.6 PP	-
Hacknet	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Haiku, the Robot	1.5 TF2	$3.13 PP	-
Hard Bullet	0.9 TF2	$1.99 PP	-
Hearts of Iron III Collection	0.5 TF2	$0.99 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Battle for the Bosporus	1.6 TF2	$3.46 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.91 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor	0.8 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Waking the Tiger	1.4 TF2	$3.02 PP	-
Heave Ho	0.5 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Heavy Rain	1.7 TF2	$3.66 PP	-
Hell Let Loose	7.1 TF2	$14.93 PP	-
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice	1.1 TF2	$2.33 PP	-
Hello, Neighbor!	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Hero's Hour	0.7 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.58 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Mar 2023)
Heroes of Hammerwatch	0.5 TF2	$1.14 PP	-
Hitman Absolution	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
Hitman Game of the Year Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.57 PP	-
Hollow Knight	2.6 TF2	$5.48 PP	-
Homefront: The Revolution	0.8 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number Digital Special Edition	0.5 TF2	$1.09 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number	0.5 TF2	$0.99 PP	-
Hotline Miami	0.7 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
House Flipper VR	0.8 TF2	$1.77 PP	-
House Flipper	2.5 TF2	$5.28 PP	-
Human: Fall Flat	0.7 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
HuniePop	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Huntdown	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Hurtworld	2.0 TF2	$4.14 PP	-
Hyper Light Drifter	1.6 TF2	$3.28 PP	-
Hypnospace Outlaw	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
I Am Fish	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
I Expect You To Die	1.3 TF2	$2.72 PP	-
I-NFECTED	6.0 TF2	$12.52 PP	-
INSURGENCY	2.1 TF2	$4.51 PP	-
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.14 PP	-
Imperator: Rome	0.5 TF2	$1.03 PP	-
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.39 PP	-
Injustice 2	0.7 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Injustice: Gods Among Us - Ultimate Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.37 PP	-
Into the Breach	2.0 TF2	$4.28 PP	-
Into the Radius VR	5.2 TF2	$10.88 PP	-
Ion Fury	1.5 TF2	$3.12 PP	-
Iron Harvest	1.0 TF2	$2.18 PP	-
Jalopy	0.7 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
Job Simulator	8.8 TF2	$18.38 PP	-
Jurassic World Evolution 2	2.2 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$4.7 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Mar 2023)
Jurassic World Evolution	0.8 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Just Cause 2	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.16 PP	-
Just Cause 4: Complete Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.96 PP	-
KartKraft	3.0 TF2	$6.39 PP	-
Katamari Damacy REROLL	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Katana ZERO	1.1 TF2	$2.27 PP	-
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes	2.6 TF2	$5.49 PP	-
Kerbal Space Program	0.6 TF2	$1.37 PP	-
Killer Instinct	7.8 TF2	$16.37 PP	-
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.89 PP	-
Killing Floor 2	0.6 TF2	$1.22 PP	-
Killing Floor	0.5 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Kingdom Come: Deliverance	1.4 TF2	$2.94 PP	-
Kingdom: Two Crowns	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
King’s Bounty : Ultimate Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
LEGO Batman Trilogy	1.4 TF2	$2.98 PP	-
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4	0.5 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7	0.7 TF2	$1.45 PP	-
LEGO Lord of the Rings	0.4 TF2	$0.87 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga	0.5 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
LEGO® City Undercover	0.7 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.94 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
LEGO® Jurassic World™	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers	0.4 TF2	$0.77 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2 Deluxe Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.37 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
LEGO® Ninjago® Movie Video Game	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Force Awakens	0.6 TF2	$1.19 PP	-
LEGO® Worlds	2.0 TF2	$4.12 PP	-
Labyrinth City: Pierre the Maze Detective	0.7 TF2	$1.49 PP	-
Late Shift	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
Layers of Fear 2	3.4 TF2	$7.17 PP	-
Layers of Fear	0.5 TF2	$1.1 PP	-
Legion TD 2	1.6 TF2	$3.29 PP	-
Len's Island	3.0 TF2	$6.29 PP	-
Lethal League Blaze	1.0 TF2	$2.16 PP	-
Lethal League	0.8 TF2	$1.59 PP	-
Library Of Ruina	3.0 TF2	$6.43 PP	-
Life is Feudal: Your Own	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
Little Misfortune	3.0 TF2	$6.29 PP	-
Little Nightmares Complete Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.3 PP	-
Little Nightmares	0.8 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Lobotomy Corporation Monster Management Simulation	4.9 TF2	$10.32 PP	-
Lords of the Fallen Game of the Year Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.67 PP	-
Lost Ember	1.3 TF2	$2.77 PP	-
Lost Planet™: Extreme Condition	1.7 TF2	$3.6 PP	-
Luck be a Landlord	2.6 TF2	$5.49 PP	-
METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN	0.9 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
MORTAL KOMBAT 11	1.7 TF2	$3.6 PP	-
MX vs ATV Reflex	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
MX vs. ATV Unleashed	0.4 TF2	$0.74 PP	-
Mad Max	1.3 TF2	$2.83 PP	-
Mafia II: Definitive Edition	1.5 TF2	$3.21 PP	-
Mafia III: Definitive Edition	1.9 TF2	$4.04 PP	-
Mafia: Definitive Edition	2.0 TF2	$4.28 PP	-
Magicka 2 - Deluxe Edition	0.3 TF2	$0.72 PP	-
Maneater	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
Manhunt	1.2 TF2	$2.52 PP	-
Mars Horizon	1.0 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
Mass Effect™ Legendary Edition	8.0 TF2	$16.97 PP	-
Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne	0.6 TF2	$1.21 PP	-
Max Payne	0.9 TF2	$1.82 PP	-
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries	2.2 TF2	$4.61 PP	-
Medal of Honor	3.3 TF2	$6.98 PP	-
Mega Man Legacy Collection	0.6 TF2	$1.26 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - Deluxe Edition	2.4 TF2	$5.11 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 War Chest Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.2 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2	1.0 TF2	$2.2 PP	-
Messenger	0.7 TF2	$1.38 PP	-
Metro 2033 Redux	0.6 TF2	$1.31 PP	-
Metro Exodus	1.5 TF2	$3.07 PP	-
Metro Redux Bundle	1.1 TF2	$2.26 PP	-
Metro: Last Light Redux	0.6 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Middle-earth™: Shadow of War™	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Middleearth Shadow of War Definitive Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.38 PP	-
Mini Ninjas	0.5 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Miscreated	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Monster Hunter: World	3.4 TF2	$7.23 PP	-
Monster Sanctuary	0.6 TF2	$1.27 PP	-
Monster Train	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Moonlighter	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
Moons of Madness	1.8 TF2	$3.79 PP	-
Mordhau	1.6 TF2	$3.46 PP	-
Mortal Kombat X	0.7 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
Mortal Kombat XL	1.0 TF2	$2.15 PP	-
Mortal Shell	1.5 TF2	$3.2 PP	-
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021	0.8 TF2	$1.71 PP	-
Motorsport Manager	1.3 TF2	$2.76 PP	-
Move or Die	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Moving Out	1.9 TF2	$4.09 PP	-
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden - Deluxe Edition	1.5 TF2	$3.07 PP	-
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
My Friend Pedro	0.9 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
My Time At Portia	0.5 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
NARUTO SHIPPUDEN: Ultimate Ninja STORM 4 Road to Boruto	2.2 TF2	$4.58 PP	-
NASCAR Heat 5 - Ultimate Edition	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 4	1.7 TF2	$3.59 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker - Deluxe Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.66 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
Necromunda: Hired Gun	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Neon Abyss	0.8 TF2	$1.67 PP	-
Ni no Kuni™ II: Revenant Kingdom - The Prince's Edition	2.6 TF2	$5.39 PP	-
Nine Parchments	1.4 TF2	$3.04 PP	-
No Time to Relax	1.7 TF2	$3.61 PP	-
Northgard	4.1 TF2	$8.64 PP	-
Not For Broadcast	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
ONE PIECE BURNING BLOOD GOLD EDITION	2.0 TF2	$4.13 PP	-
ONE PIECE BURNING BLOOD	0.8 TF2	$1.72 PP	-
Offworld Trading Company™	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
One Step From Eden	0.7 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
Opus Magnum	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Orcs Must Die! 3	2.1 TF2	$4.35 PP	-
Outlast 2	0.6 TF2	$1.19 PP	-
Outlast	0.5 TF2	$0.96 PP	-
Outward	1.4 TF2	$2.94 PP	-
Overcooked	0.7 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
Overcooked! 2	1.6 TF2	$3.32 PP	-
Overgrowth	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
Overlord II	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
PAYDAY 2	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
PC Building Simulator	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Paint the Town Red	2.0 TF2	$4.27 PP	-
Parkitect	5.2 TF2	$11.0 PP	-
Party Hard 2	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.11 PP	-
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous	0.9 TF2	$1.87 PP	-
Pathologic 2	0.6 TF2	$1.35 PP	-
Per Aspera	0.7 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Phantom Doctrine	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
Pillars of Eternity Definitive Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Pistol Whip	5.8 TF2	$12.34 PP	-
Plague Inc: Evolved	1.6 TF2	$3.4 PP	-
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
Planet Coaster	1.7 TF2	$3.5 PP	-
Planet Zoo	1.8 TF2	$3.82 PP	-
Planetary Annihilation: TITANS	3.1 TF2	$6.63 PP	-
Portal Knights	0.8 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid	3.4 TF2	$7.15 PP	-
PowerBeatsVR	0.9 TF2	$1.99 PP	-
PowerSlave Exhumed	1.6 TF2	$3.47 PP	-
Praey for the Gods	0.5 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
Prehistoric Kingdom	1.4 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
Prison Architect	0.3 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Pro Cycling Manager 2019	1.2 TF2	$2.61 PP	-
Project Cars 3	13.5 TF2	$28.43 PP	-
Project Hospital	2.3 TF2	$4.88 PP	-
Project Wingman	1.8 TF2	$3.77 PP	-
Project Winter	0.6 TF2	$1.26 PP	-
Propnight	0.5 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.04 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Scary Games to Play in the Dark Bundle
Pumpkin Jack	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
Quantum Break	1.4 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
RESIDENT EVIL 3	2.2 TF2	$4.55 PP	-
RUGBY 20	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
RUINER	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
RWBY: Grimm Eclipse	2.6 TF2	$5.49 PP	-
Ragnaröck	3.3 TF2	$6.87 PP	-
Rain World	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Raw Data	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
Re:Legend	1.0 TF2	$2.14 PP	-
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
Red Matter	4.2 TF2	$8.93 PP	-
Resident Evil / biohazard HD REMASTER	1.2 TF2	$2.59 PP	-
Resident Evil 0 / biohazard 0 HD Remaster	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Resident Evil 5 GOLD Edition	1.5 TF2	$3.12 PP	-
Resident Evil 5	1.1 TF2	$2.29 PP	-
Resident Evil 6	1.4 TF2	$2.96 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition	2.0 TF2	$4.28 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations	0.5 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
Retro Machina	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
Rising Storm 2: Vietnam	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
River City Girls	1.4 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
RollerCoaster Tycoon Deluxe	1.0 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Rollercoaster Tycoon 2: Triple Thrill Pack	2.0 TF2	$4.13 PP	-
Rubber Bandits	0.7 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Running with Rifles	1.2 TF2	$2.53 PP	-
Ryse: Son of Rome	1.3 TF2	$2.83 PP	-
SCUM	2.7 TF2	$5.75 PP	-
SHENZHEN I/O	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
SOMA	2.0 TF2	$4.14 PP	-
SONG OF HORROR Complete Edition	0.5 TF2	$0.99 PP	-
STAR WARS® THE FORCE UNLEASHED II	0.8 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
STAR WARS™: Squadrons	2.0 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
SUPERHOT VR	2.2 TF2	$4.54 PP	-
SUPERHOT	0.8 TF2	$1.59 PP	-
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Sable	0.3 TF2	$0.72 PP	-
Saint's Row The Third Remastered	2.1 TF2	$4.51 PP	-
Saints Row 2	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
Saints Row IV	0.9 TF2	$1.84 PP	-
Saints Row: The Third	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
Sanctum 2	0.6 TF2	$1.35 PP	-
Satisfactory	6.3 TF2	$13.34 PP	-
Scarlet Nexus	2.8 TF2	$5.91 PP	-
Scribblenauts Unlimited	0.3 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Secret Neighbor	0.6 TF2	$1.22 PP	-
Serious Sam 2	0.7 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
Serious Sam 4	2.6 TF2	$5.52 PP	-
Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem	2.2 TF2	$4.54 PP	-
Severed Steel	1.4 TF2	$2.92 PP	-
Shadow Man Remastered	0.9 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Shadow Warrior 2	0.8 TF2	$1.59 PP	-
Shadow of the Tomb Raider	2.5 TF2	$5.22 PP	-
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse	0.6 TF2	$1.19 PP	-
Shenmue 3	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Shenmue I & II	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
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​
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
​
Chapter 17: Well Of Courage
Amidst a field of wilting wheat and crushed financial hopes, the most disparate thing was the well in the centre. To say that it looked abandoned was to say that bouillabaisse à l'encre de seiche was acceptable as an evening entrée. It wasn't. It was ugly and grisly. And so was this well.
I stared down into the abyss, feeling the cold air echoing within its depths. There was no hint of its bottom. No dripping or splashing of water. Only a sordid darkness resided here, giving way to a pit without end.
I looked up and frowned at Mary … Marina Lainsfont. She had the good grace to already look sheepish.
“The starflower is here?” I queried. “In this well? At the bottom?”
“I believe so,” she replied, looking less and less reliable with each passing moment.
I returned to gawking into the clear safety hazard. The well had no cover and no signage. And while the fates of those who accidentally tripped and fell to an agonising end mattered little to me, it did suggest a rather unseemly welcome for anyone who voluntarily climbed down.
Fortunately, whatever had accrued at the bottom couldn't be seen.
Unfortunately, whatever had accrued at the bottom also couldn't be avoided.
“Is there a reason you haven't collected the starflower yourself?” I asked, glancing back at the alchemist. “As ghastly as climbing down a well surely is, it must have warranted your investigation.”
“It did. I've … well, I've previously thought about climbing down, but it's not the well itself that has the starflower. It's the caverns.”
“There are caverns underneath Rolstein?”
“Only here. Underground waterways originating from a series of caverns feeds into this well. They're very old, and other than when there's an issue with the water supply, rarely traversed. However, I recently discovered records that suggest a unique ecosystem may be present down there which includes flora and um … other inhabitants.”
“And how many dozens of eyes do these inhabitants have?”
“The normal amount. Maybe. Tunnel bats are known to exit the well on occasion. The 'maybe' makes it too dangerous for me … but based on the ideal conditions, I believe that a starflower may very well be present.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“That, or some other array of rare apothecary ingredients, I imagine?”
“The thought did cross my mind, yes,” admitted the alchemist. “But whether or not a starflower is present is irrelevant if another suitably powerful curative can be discovered.”
“A fool's hope,” I replied. “Guesswork is unlikely to hand the keys to unlocking this cure.”
The woman's shoulders fell.
“Does … Does this mean ...”
“And yet, I believe that pursuing all avenues of investigation is warranted, given the severity of the Withering. As a result, I will personally order my future attendant to climb down this narrow and dangerous well and retrieve any rare medicinal reagents for your usage.”
Coppelia, who until now was content to examine the spiralling abyss she would soon investigate, looked up at me and beamed.
“Nope.”
“Now, Coppelia, I understand your apprehension. This well is disgusting. However, this is a matter of practicality. Your outrageous strength must surely confer above-average jumping and falling abilities. As there's no method for me to enter or exit without grave harm to me or my sense of hygiene, it leaves you with your unique skill set for physicality to conduct this investigation.”
Coppelia pointed at something in the wilted wheat.
“There's a ladder here.”
I leaned slightly to the side, then spotted the wooden ladder squashing what few crops had valiantly tried to remain upright.
“An excellent observation, Coppelia. Why, by spotting something unbeknownst to the rest of us, you've demonstrated your proficiency in taking on this investigative role.”
“True. I'm still in the 'nope' camp, though. I'm not valiant and brave like you. In fact, I have an idea! Why don't you use the ladder and I'll give moral support by constantly praising your courage from here?”
Tempting. But no.
I looked at the alchemist instead.
“Why is there a ladder conveniently placed here, and why are you not currently volunteering to lead the way into your own excursion?”
The woman glanced to the side as she played with her fingers. An embarrassed blush appeared on her cheeks.
“Um, well … like I said, I previously thought about climbing down … but it's … well, um, very dark ...”
I looked between the two individuals I found myself with.
One a clockwork doll, one an alchemist. Impudence with a brazen smile from one and cowardice with a bashful veneer from the other.
Then, I quietly groaned while rubbing my temples.
Ugh. But of course, what else could I expect from simple commoners? Gallantry was the realm of royalty. And as a princess, I was its champion.
If I was forced to climb down a damp and hopelessly unfitting well, then that wasn't a black mark against my standing, was it? No, of course not. It was a sign of boldness, determination and unmatched nerve. Qualities which were not only expected of me, but ones which I regularly performed each time my mother brutishly thrust me into the limelight of court to 'do some actual work'.
Indeed, I was no stranger to tenacity!
What was a well, compared to the horrors of conversing with the daughters and sons of lesser nobility as though we were peers?
A highly suspect hole in the ground was nothing! And if I told myself that, then it immediately became true!
“Ohh … ohoho! Very well. The both of you may rejoice. I will brave the darkness and scour the depths! Whatever reagents may be recovered within, I will extract for the sake of this kingdom!”
“Ooooh ...”
Coppelia began clapping her hands. The alchemist joined her after a moment's confusion. The applause was neither necessary, nor particularly fervent.
I accepted it nonetheless, smiling as I pointed at the ladder.
“Coppelia, please attach the ladder to the well. You may hold it steady while I descend into the depths.”
“I'll do better than that. Why, with a determination so fierce, how could I abandon a heroine to brave the unknowns on her own?”
“Me too! I'll join you. I told you I'll show you the way. I can't just leave you to explore on your own. I can help identify anything that may be of use.”
And just like that, my valour had roped willing servants to my side!
Not that I allowed surprise to leak onto my carefully crafted expression. Indeed, drawing the weak and the unwilling to my cause was a principle effect of my royal status, whether I proclaimed it or not!
“Ohhoho! Then let us make haste! Even as we stand, the livelihoods of those around us perishes beneath the evening glow!”
“Right!”
With enthusiasm which I already viewed as uncharacteristic, Coppelia skipped over to the ladder, then effortlessly lifted it over her head. The alchemist and I ducked as she swung it violently over the well with little heed to our heads.
“Hiee?! W-Watch where you display your brutish strength! I only have one head, and it's my life's goal to keep it on my neck!”
“Got it!”
Twirling it like a dancer with a baton, she gave a playful smile as she plunged the ladder down the well.
One thing was for certain. There was a bottom.
And one not as far as the unnatural darkness would suggest.
A frail splash echoed upwards, betraying the shallowness of the water. I peered down the opening once again, wincing as I failed to discern where the ladder vanished from view.
“Okay~” said Coppelia with a musical hum. “Lead the way, Lady Heroine.”
I frowned as I looked up.
“I'm not a Lady. I'm a Pri—ack-hack-ack-ughh.”
“Wow, you even have hacking coughs in your titles? You kingdoms really like your fancy names, huh? Where do I get one like that?”
After almost being caught out by the most fiendish of questions, I recollected myself and smiled with grace.
“The … The Kingdom of Tirea's peerage system doesn't allow those without hereditary claims to a noble birthright assume a title. It is not something you can 'get', with the sole exception of a royal proclamation.”
“… And how do I get one of them?”
I willed myself not to tut. Such a coarse question would never be levelled at me had she known who I truly was. As such, I would allow the tactlessness.
“Through significant contribution to the kingdom,” I answered, before reaching for the top rung of the ladder. “Should you wish to begin climbing that staircase of sweat and tears, I suggest you begin by making me a pot of chamomile tea.”
Indeed, as the feats I intend to perform will doubtless be recorded in the annals of our history, even the smallest contribution by those who aid me will be viewed with generous lenses … especially if they offer me hot beverages on demand!
I gingerly lifted myself across the rim of the well and planted my feet onto the ladder.
“I'm terrible at tea making,” she said, a black stain now inked on her history. “But I make up for it with my charming disposition and ability to ask questions at the worst times. For example, how are you going to see down there?”
I paused, already several steps down.
“M-My! Have no fear … that won't be an issue!”
Clearly, she believed me so focused on the task ahead that I'd neglected a vital practicality in achieving it. Understandable. But I was no clumsy genius fated to trip over her masterworks and journals. I was simply a genius.
And that meant being able to hop over every hazard even before I saw it!
For indeed … I did have a method for piercing even the darkest night.
“Voila!”
Starlight Grace shone as I carefully drew it from my sheath, one hand still gripping the ladder.
All of a sudden, the overwhelming darkness below was pierced by a light so radiant that it seemed to rebound within this small space. Each pearl of moisture was illuminated against the stone, shining like little stars painted against the damp surface.
In legends past, Starlight Grace's splendour was such that this artifact alone could pierce the foul blackness which shielded the Witch of Calamity once plaguing our fledgling kingdom. Noble as our ancestors' hearts, tenacious as the towns they founded and virtuous as the heavens which shone upon their labour, Starlight Grace was the symbol of the kingdom's spirit …..... and also my reading light.
Truly, my sword was astonishingly convenient!
What need did one have of candles and fireplaces when I was gifted the light of the heavens themselves? Yes, Starlight Grace could fell the hordes of darkness, but more importantly, it allowed me to finish the page turners that raced against my need for sleep.
I pointed my sword towards my feet.
A murky, shallow surface of water was illuminated at the bottom of the revealed well. Not one, but several buckets shorn of their rope were lying half-submerged amongst a wet collage of algae and foliage.
What were once leaves and florets of wheat blown from the fields above now formed its own habitat. I chose not to think about what ghastly species of caterpillars had opted to make their home within that mass of virulent green.
Above me, I heard a hushed gasp. I glanced up at my captivated audience.
“A-Amazing ...” murmured the alchemist, her eyes wide.
“I know,” added Coppelia, no less stunned. “I would've put money on there being at least one dead body down there.”
I redirected my gaze back down.
“If you still wish to make that wager, then you're free to.”
“Really? Will you bet against me?”
I narrowed me eyes at the pit of algae.
“No.”
“Shame. There's definitely something dead down there. So, going down?”
With that, Coppelia tapped the top rung of the ladder with her foot. I parted my lips, ready to discuss with her the non-existent notion of hurrying a princess when the alchemist let out a gulp so audible that it echoed within the well.
“Such a magnificent sword … How did you come to acquire it?”
“It was gifted to me as a young child. Not a day has gone by where I haven't had it by my side.”
“I see … then it's no wonder my father gave the task of delivering Apple to you. You must be a highly accomplished swordswoman to have earned his respect so swiftly.”
“N … Naturally! It's said that … warriors may take the measure of one another more keenly than even a merchant and their wares. My righteous soul and exemplary skill at arms is revealed to any who care to look.”
The alchemist wore an expression of fervent agreement as she studied the sword in my grip. For my part, I pressed it up against the side of the ladder as I began to climb down the well.
It was not the most dignified of activities, but I was saving the kingdom. I could easily spin this unbecoming descent into a far grander tale once the time came to pay off the bards and the minstrels. Why, this was something that would earn me the adoration of the masses! Most princesses only climbed up, and yet here I was, descending even deeper than where their knees fell as they grovelled towards me.
My, wasn't I just a princess of the people?
In moments, I heard, and felt, my far more fearful comrades finding purchase on the ladder. Accepting my natural role as leader, I led the descent with grace and maturity, never once noticing how disgustingly slimy this ladder was, or wondering how much fire would be needed to erase the smell of algae from my clothes afterwards.
“You spoke of dangers,” I said upwards, past Coppelia's graceful figure as she practically slid from rung to rung. “Aside from tunnel bats and tripping over one's feet in the darkness, what other dangers can be expected within the waterways?”
“I … ah, it's quite slippery isn't it? Um, I'm not sure. I would expect monsters to reside in the dark and wet conditions. But from what I know of the well, the only things other than tunnel bats to escape are water slimes and strangler crabs.”
“Creatures that even a newly trained soldier would be expected to readily dispatch. Is that all?”
“I believe so. It's the unknown that concerns me. But so far, I've seen no records to suggest that anything more sinister resides here. I think it'll be fine. Maybe. Probably. I would traverse these caverns myself, but, well … I don't have a glowing sword.”
The alchemist's voice faded with something between shame and embarrassment.
Of course, for an ordinary citizen, even common monsters were beyond them. Slimes, crabs and bats failed to worry me. After all, I had Starlight Grace. And more pertinently, I had a clockwork doll with enough arm strength to propel me to safety if and when required.
Still, I wondered why I could feel goosebumps beginning to appear?
And hmm … what was that ominous groaning in the distance?
“Hey, hey, Juliette?”
I glanced up and frowned. It was one thing for to be spoken to so casually, but the way Coppelia did it with such a blasé smile would have sent tutting hurtling her way in any other context.
Curiously, I didn't find it entirely displeasing. Perhaps because the handmaids who'd served my family longest were permitted in private to refer to us with a degree of informality. It was, in a limited capacity, refreshing.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Well, I just had this thought,” she said, animatedly pointing at her own head. “If we're not actually sure what's beyond this highly suspect well, would it not be prudent to pause, take stock of our limited supplies, re-evaluate the purpose of this hastily arranged venture and perhaps seek even just a little bit of information before ploughing head first into the uncharted darkness?”
I paused to consider a crack in the stone, then waved away Coppelia's concerns.
Really now! Nitpicking over plans is what my brothers and sisters did. And look where that had gotten them. Assigned to ghastly roles filled with royal duties and obnoxious responsibilities, without a minute to spend on their own whims.
That was not the life of luxury I intended to live.
… Moreover, time spent planning was time spent not doing! My livelihood was at stake and I had a long list to go through. I was here to hurry, not to worry!
Thus, I shrugged and continued climbing. But not without giving my answer.
“Ohhohohoho!! Darkness? What need do I have to fear the darkness? Indeed, it is the darkness who should fear me!”
I raised Starlight Grace ever so slightly, drawing on the last gasp of sunlight peering down the well to reflect off its radiant edge. A prism of blinding light momentarily lit up the entirety of the well, before falling solely against the bottom of the well once more.
“Ooooh …”
Coppelia applauded, not even requiring her hands to hold herself steady against the ladder. I accepted it with good grace.
That's right. I had nothing to fear!
For I was the Third Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea. And that meant even this darkness belonged to me. If it troubled me, I'd find a way to tax it!
And yes, that included the strange groaning in the distance too.
​
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He's really gone for good. My friends son lives down the hall from him. We talked last week and I told her what happened. I thought she had misunderstood me when she said he moved out with his girlfriend that she met one time. I thought she was talking about her son. I didn't ask her in the moment, she moved on quickly and told me about her mom's recent passing after a long illness, and that's way more important than my obsession. I figured I could bring it up again when I saw her Thursday. But she was sick, so I didn't see her. Aga But it's been hard to get out of my mind. So yesterday I got the idea in my head to just drive thru the lot of his complex, to see if I see his truck. I decided to go after work, because he gets up early and is usually in bed early, so it was a safe assumption he'd be home. My friend advised me not to. She asked what it would accomplish. She said that if I know where he is it would be a temptation to try to see him, and then I'm back in the trap I was in 2 months ago. Except this time it would be with the knowledge that there's a woman who believes this man is faithful to her. With the knowledge that he's been lying to me since the beginning. I am so weak when it comes to him. I can see that now, now that I finally figured out the game he's been playing. I can see everything I dismissed in my desperation to find someone good. Beginning with his boast about remaining faithful til he moved out of the house he shared with his ex, that she seemed to be trying to push him into cheating, so she could be the innocent victim in the marriage. Fucking lying piece of shit. He's been sneaking around and lying to this girl for 2yrs, and I'm supposed to believe he wasn't messing around on his then-wife??? I believed him when he said he was broken, that the last few years with his ex were really bad. I have years of experience working with clients in the mental health field. I've heard a lot of very sad, tragic stories. I've worked with people who are trying to recover from loss. The end of a marriage is a loss. It's a loss of an entire future that you had assumed you'd spend with your spouse. It's the end of the dynamic you've become accustomed to with your children. Can completely uproot multiple lives. I've had training in trauma-informed care. Meet people where they're at, not where you want them to be, where you think they should be. Let them set the pace for their recovery. When he told me his version of the breakdown of the marriage, I felt a ton of sympathy for him. Abusive relationships are very hard to recover from. Every boundary he set, I told myself it was because he doesn't feel safe to let his guard down. I had this image of him - yes, now I can see the image I had was completely fabricated by me. But this image - older, conservative guy with old-fashioned values. He treated me so different from anyone else I've known. Complete honesty - I had a lot of suspicions that I overlooked. I have a little self & awareness, and I know what triggers my PTSD, and I know my shortcomings. And one is repetitive thoughts patterns. When an insecurity got stuck in my head, I'd call him out on it. And all he ever said - all he ever needed to say - was you're overthinking, stop overthinking. And I know it's huge problem I have, I overthink until I convince myself I've found evidence to support whatever belief I had. Of course, I trusted him completely, and allowed myself be completely vulnerable with him. Big fucking mistake that I have made many times in my life, you'd think I'd learn. But yeah so it's in the back of my mind for a week now. I meant to talk to my therapist about it yesterday, but we are working thru a lot, and it slipped my mind. Last night I explained the conversation to another friend. Her very wise advice was to stay away. She said if I know where he is, I keep the door cracked open a little. She said it's not going to give me any answers, and it won't give me any closure. I in my infinite wisdom thought it would be the opposite - if I don't know where he is, I know it will never be an option. She said don't do it... I did it anyway. Never in the entire time since we met have I gone hunting him down. The times here & there when we weren't really talking much, when it was infatuation, before it became love, I never went looking for him, never felt the need to check up on him, to show up unannounced at his house, to look thru his phone. He made me feel so secure in us. I've never felt that way with anyone. And after it grew into love, I still never felt the need. I knew he had hang-ups, I knew he was far from perfect, and there were a couple things thru the last few months that I was having trouble letting go of, having trouble explaining it away. But I know I overthink. And when I called him out on these things, I get told I'm overthinking. But no. I wasn't overthinking, I was actually just THINKING. And he was gaslighting. So anyway after being advised not to, I drove to his place after work last night. I got there around 10:pm. He gets up super early for work, and usually crashes pretty early. But there's a lot he kept from me. Maybe he crashed early from being exhausted by living 2 separate lives. But anyway it would be a reasonable assumption that he'd be home snoring away. And I drove thru the lot twice. No sign of his truck. Last night - after having the 1st really good, clear-headed day I've had in almost 2 months, I came home and sat in my car sobbing, like it's a fresh ending. It's not a fresh ending. It's a confirmed ending. My head - fucking with me like always - says well I used to mostly see him on Mondays and Thursdays, and yesterday was Wednesday. Maybe Wednesday is a night he stays with his chosen one. So maybe I should go by on one of those nights. Like maybe tonight after work. I know I shouldn't. I know my friend was most likely talking about him and not her son. I don't understand why she wouldn't have told me when it happened. We don't catch up often, but I feel like if she saw him moving out and in with a woman, maybe she should have said something? But the woman spent 3 months watching her mother slowly wither away, that takes precedence over everything. She had no obligation to say anything about it to me. The last time I talked to her he never came up, we talked about her recent breakup and her mom. I'm not upset with her. I get it. Are you reading this? If you are, please tell me NOT to go by again. Not to go by ever. Yesterday was a good day. I felt GOOD. I felt well-rested, optimistic, energetic. I listened to music that wasn't angry music. I've avoided listening to anything sad, but I did listen to a lot of loud, angry music. Yesterday I listened to upbeat music that makes me want to dance. Please. Tell me not to go. If I don't know where he is, I feel like it's more permanent.