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I am a comedian and I use Trello to organize my jokes. Currently, I use columns for topics (ie: dating jokes, family jokes, pop culture jokes, etc) and to create set lists for different shows (ie: "June 16th comedy show") and I use cards for individual jokes/tags (single set-up and punchlines).
I'd like to organize the cards (individual jokes/tag) into "bits" (bits are groups of individual jokes/tags that tell a story) and be able to move those bits (which would include multiple cards) across columns (ie: take a group of related jokes in the "family jokes" column and move them to the "June 16th jokes" column, and keep the order. What is the best way to do this? I am using the free version of Trello, but I'm willing to upgrade for this functionality.
I've tried using Trello attachments, but it just attaches the related card, but they don't move together, which is not helpful for organizing.
Also, if you have any other tips/tricks to optimize Trello for comedy purposes, please let me know!
I have noticed a pattern of weird behaviors from women I date that I met online that are BBWs. I say this because it has only happened with BBW women and not others.
I notice they either cancel on me right before meeting, their excuse is always "I don't feel good" and then there is never a follow up get together, if we do set one, it never happens.
Another one is "I am busy with work" and then I never hear from them again, unless I contact them first, but we still never get together, and this is before even meeting them in person.
Then there are 3 other rare instances...one was in 2020 where I was talking to this BBW for awhile, she was very flirty and initiated a lot of flirting first....we ended up meeting and she was a bit cold. I then text her 2 days later after not hearing from her and told her I did not think we were a good fit and I advised her to not flirt or invite guys to her house anymore that she has not met in person.
The 2nd weird incident was about a year ago (but this was not from someone I met online, this was from a meetup). This BBW I was only friends with, but she thought it was more I guess. She said the reason she stopped responding to my texts was because she "knows" I have been talking to different women. I told her those women were only friends and that I treat her the same way I treated them. I said there was nothing going on with them....and I said "You make me uncomfortable and your text is very childish and it is best that we don't talk anymore" and she starting acting like a "victim" and saying I thought you were a good guy...and then said "you know there was something going on here, let's be honest" and I took the high road and decided not to play her childish game and blocked her number.
And then another BBW I met, we talked awhile and conversation was good, but when we met she seemed to not be as outgoing, she was nice, but there was no connection like on the internet or phone. Then a few days later she text me saying that "she needs to work on herself and is not ready to date at this moment, and that she even removed her dating profile" I told her I understood and that she can contact me if she needs to anytime.
Then last weekend I got another weird situation with a BBW from online. We agreed to get together later in the evening for a drink and perhaps food, she said it would be easier for her to get together with me after she was done driving for Uber because she will already be out. So I said sure if that is easier for her we can get together later that evening or night. Then two hours later she cancels on me using the "I'm not feeling well and I don't think i'll be good company tonight" and then gave no other alternate time or day to try to get together again in their text ...this was literally two hours after we got off the phone when she suggested getting together tonight would be easier.
So 4 weird BBW situations, 3 of them from online.
I never had women do this before but it feels very childish. These women are in their 30s and 40s. Feels like they are making an excuse like a kid does to a teacher when they say "My Dog ate my homework" or "My temperature is too high to go to school today".
The only thing I can think of is they are doing this because they are insecure with themselves and rejecting me first before I reject them. But I would have not rejected them, but in their minds I think they think I would.
Now I'm not overweight or anything and I'm decent looking guy, but I am feeling they are so insecure with themselves that they have to push others away be3cause they think they won't get hurt. Why else would they do this? Often times before even meeting in person?
Can someone else explain this or perhaps verify it is an insecurity on their end because they are afraid of rejection from someone else? This feels very weird and also childish behavior.
Wasn’t sure what sub to post this in as we are actually (not by choice) child free currently. But it seems like other parents may have the best insight for this situation.
My husband and I (29 and 32) bought our house a year and a half ago. We love the neighborhood and it’s very family friendly. One side of our house is very close to our neighbors and our backyard is just separated by a 8ft fence. The family is nice and they are older parents with an 11 year old boy. We don’t even end up having much small talk with the parents and usually all keep to ourselves. However, the boy is very social and goes up and down our street talking to literally anyone that gives him attention, whether you have kids or not. With us being the closest proximity to him, we seem to be his first pick most of the time. We have been busy with many intense house renovations, mainly in the backyard where we had tools strewn about. The other day he kept playing with the axe even though we said that was off limits and he continued to rummage through things and pester us non stop for over an hour. The parents were home and I was trying to speak loud enough for them to intervene, but they never have. This type of situation has persisted multiple times despite attempting to tell him to kindly go away. My last straw was when I was in the garage for one minute just to throw something away and then he must have spotted me from the street at just the right time because the next thing I know, he was in my face yelling “BOO!”. I’m already easily frightened so I screamed loudly and instinctively put my arms out nearly pushing him on accident. He laughed about it but I sternly told him that this is something he CANNOT just come and do, and I stormed inside.
I asked if he was doing anything this summer and he said no, which means this is going to continue most likely and I need to know how to set some boundaries. It’s not as big of a deal to me when he is just talking to us from the other side of their fence (although they have a deck so he essentially towers over us and can see everything), but it’s more so a problem when he will just walk right up to our gate and let himself in our backyard. He also rings our doorbell frequently just to either mess with us or tell us something random.
Clearly he is a lonely only child and the parents don’t want to step in. I don’t want to be on bad terms with their family, but obviously he is getting on our nerves. He’s old enough to know boundaries, so what is the best way to go about this?
We met online when we were younger, when I was 18 I moved in with him. We lived with his parents, it wasn’t too long before I became pregnant with my son who is now 4 years old today. And just recently had our daughter who is 3 months. We still live with his parents. I stay home caring for our son and 3 MO daughter while he works a part time job at a feed store for barn animals. He gets paid a little over minimum wage so we barely make it by, and he owes a lot of people money, mainly his parents. He has it easy at work though, he drinks, smokes pot, plays on his phone a lot of the time, and gets paid under the table so we still get food stamps. Illegal, I know. I’ve pressed him about getting a better job since money is always an issue, he had an opportunity to work for Tesla making $25 an hour but refuses because quote “they slave their workers, I wouldn’t get time off, and what’s the point of working extra hours if it’s only going towards groceries” but he says this about every job that requires any actual effort, and would rather mooch off the government while he can. When he’s home he doesn’t do much other than play his playstation and yell at his son because he doesn’t want to deal with parenting more than half the time. When he does help, he acts like because he mowes the lawn every 3 months or help with the dishes 1 time of 10, he’s done his share of chores. He asks me if I need help with anything, and when I tell him what he could do to help he’ll do it but acts like it’s a problem or throws a fit, so I would rather just do everything by myself instead of listening to him complain or half ass rush it. He gaslights me constantly and makes me feel like I’m crazy, says something disrespectful like calling me a stupid bitch then somehow turns it around on me and makes me feel like I deserved it while also telling me he’s “sorry but I was being rude”. I feel like I’m walking on my toes, always on edge, have to watch my tone and how I say things because I don’t want to accidentally rub off the wrong way when I have no intentions to. He acts like everyone around him has a problem when in reality he is the only one with a problem. When we get into disagreements he has to raise his voice over mine and if I say something back that he doesn’t like he’ll say something disrespectful or degrading to me, then try to apologize minutes later and somehow twist it by putting words in my mouth or saying I acted a certain way when I didn’t, while also apologizing and making me feel like I’m absolutely nuts. One minute he’s loving, buying me flowers, helping around the house without making it a problem, helping me cook, spending time with our son, then the next he’s a different person that I don’t want to be around. Yesterday he called our son a little cry baby bitch and an idiot, and I absolutely lost it, he told our son he was sorry then gave him a hug, but that doesn’t give him the right or excuse. I recently found out that he’s been selling drugs (meth is one of them) on the side at his job for pocket money when he gave me more than he normally gives me each week. He acts like because he gives me 70% of his earnings that I should be grateful, so if I tell him I don’t like something (such as drinking on the job) he’ll go “you try working, paying for gas, and taking care of everyone but yourself then start talking. Life fucking sucks, you will never understand how hard it is”. Somehow my son has a closer bond with his father than he does with me, so I always feel like maybe I’m the one that’s doing something wrong. I’m unhappy, I constantly feel drained and like I don’t have the energy to be the best mom I can be, and my son is constantly pushing me away. I feel like this is all my fault. I’m starting to detach from reality, I don’t know what I like or who I am anymore. I have daily panic attacks, can never think straight. My husband tells me he knows he has problems, sometimes he’ll talk to me with tears in his eyes about how he wishes he could just be and feel normal and how sorry he is and how he just wants us to be happy but he doesn’t know how to get through life because of his own childhood trauma and personal demons, and that he can’t be fixed and no one understands, and I pity him. He’s never been able to hold down a job, he talks back to the managers or is disrespectful or constantly calls in to stay home to zone out on video games because he can’t handle the real world or letting someone have more control than him when it comes to work. I’ve known him long enough to know he has issues, and I believe he does love us, but I cannot constantly hold his hand through everything and let him demean me and everyone around him like this because he has issues. I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m the one taking responsibility for his actions or hurtful words. I’ve told him to get counseling, but he says no one understands, and he laughs at the idea of talking to a professional. I can’t help him. I don’t know if I love him anymore, I care about him as a person and deep down wish he would change. What do I do? Please help me open my eyes and tell me what I need. I don’t know what I need anymore
Hello! It's my first time posting in any subredit so first of all, sry for my english if it's bad or not, and pls i hope this post reachs someone cuz it's a hard choice and i need help with it.
So i wanna move from my beloved Xiaomi POCO F3 (snapdragon 870) to the samsung z flip 3, the problem is, after watching a lot of youtube reviews about gaming on this phone (no I don't want to use this phone just for gaming, only around 1/2 hours per day) i noticed the performance ain't the best... The only problematic game I want to play on this phone is honkai star rail, if someone plays this game on the Z Flip 3 can u tell me how's the performance and avg fps u get in medium/high settings?
Another thing i forgot to mention, i want ur honest opinion... Is it worth it to buy the Z Flip 3 in 2023?
was very different on the inside than it was on the outside. The outside was painted a dark, rusty red and kept simple to help blend into the void of space. It was large, sure, about a kilometer and a half long, but it was also bulky in a sleek way, two words that shouldn't have fit together but did
in this case. The ship had a lot in common with those of tilfish design; substantial in tonnage for its purpose but still practical and efficient. But it was also clearly pieced together from several salvaged tilfish ships by humans, making it thinner and and more predatory in nature than what you'd normally see constructed by the aquatic insectoids.
The inside, however, well that was a different story. It was a warm orange color throughout, and filled to the brim with things you wouldn't expect to see inside of a warship. The first place she saw just down the hall when she entered the ship was the dining hall. The dining hall was actually more like a very large dining room, with dozens of wide circular tables that were bolted to the floor surrounded by elegant dining chairs. Two red vintage soda machines sat side-by-side next to a series of glass-door fridges containing all sorts of drinks from soda to bottled water. A buffet was to the far side of the hall, next to a pair of push doors leading to the kitchen. A few dozen members of the crew were already seated, most of them being Arxur and Humans, although she spotted a few Gojids and Harchens in the mix. Babushka Polina hobbled past them back to the kitchen while mumbling about something, a Venlil wearing an apron opening the doors to the kitchen for her before following her inside.
Everybody was chatting and socializing, dinner apparently not having been served yet. She preened her feathers nervously, scared of what would be served. Even if it wasn't a sentient, the idea of these predators tearing apart a live animal terrified her. She didn't want to be here to observe their eating practices, even if she had seen some outliers. Would they even serve anything other than meat? Sure, Song Lui had served her vegetables, but these people were very different; they had different accents, skin tones, names, clothing, and probably a different culture. She couldn't assume they would act the same as Song Lui, as it would be both foolish and unbecoming of her.
She felt Sargen's clawed paw squeeze her shoulder in a vain attempt to comfort her. "Whatever you think is going to happen, it wont. Just sit down and relax, and I promise I'll be right next to you."
Silijima took a deep breath in the vain attempt to calm down. "What will they be serving," Silijima hissed, the panic in her voice readily apparent. "I don't want to be eating meat from some carcass like a predator. I know that the predators on this ship won't eat me
, but that still doesn't change the fact that they eat like predators."
Sargen just chuckled. "You really don't have a clue. Let's just go sit down, I'll introduce you to some of my coworkers before Igor gives his speech and Babushka announces the beginning of the feast."
Silijima fidgeted but relented, allowing Sargen to steer her into the dining hall and to a table with a few crew members along with a tall, white bottle containing some kind of potent and clear liquid; alcohol maybe? Their presence didn't ground her at all, rather it only made her even more anxious, but she pulled herself together and shooed Sargen away before sitting down. The largest of the humans, practically a giant in size and only a few inches shorter than Tarlim himself, looked at her and she nearly jumped out of her feathers. He was young, but still mature enough to seem jaded, and he had a mop of messy black hair that covered his dark hazel eyes. His lip was scarred, and his neck had a few nasty scars as well that reached down under his loose t-shirt and onto his chest. He was muscular and toned, reminding Silijima of a tree trunk you'd find on her homeworld, and his arms were the size of bridge cables. He was sitting in a larger chair than usual, probably because any normal chair would've seemed comically small in comparison, and probably break under his weight.
"Who's your little friend, Sargen? Is she the new blood?"
Sargen nodded. "That she is. This is Silijima, our newest hull engineer and weapons maintenance coordinator." Sargen gestured to the truly massive human gently. "Silijima, this is Haran, also known as Goliath. He's one of our assault specialists and heavy gunners."
Silijima waved meekly, and Haran nodded. "She doesn't seem too confident. Lucky for us she isn't a grunt."
Sargen scowled at Haran, obviously not happy with how he spoke about Silijima. Silijima, on the other hand, wasn't too offended; she understood she wasn't exactly confident even if she was a trained soldier.
"Haran, please try to show some respect; she's our newest crew member."
Haran shrugged. "I didn't mean to offend, just pointing out that she doesn't exactly have nerves of steel."
"No, no; it's fine," Silijima interjected. "Don't worry about it, Sargen, I know what he means." And she did.
She wasn't brave at all, or at least she didn't think she was brave. Sure, she had fought before, but she was just an engineer. Her combat experience was limited to assisting the ship guard in defending the more vulnerable parts of the ship. It wasn't her job to go out of her way to be face to face with predators, and thus she wasn't used to it. In fact, that was one of the reasons why she was able to last so long inside civilian society after her temporary discharge; most of her fellow soldiers were desensitized to predator glares, a surefire symptom of predator disease, while she was merely capable of reacting in time to not be gutted by an Arxur.
Haran simply nodded. Next to him was a tall, youthful and pale-skinned human with brown hair and green eyes. He gave Silijima a friendly human snarl and a small wave. "It's good to meet you, hun, I'm Timothy."
Silijima imitated him, waving her wings nervously. "It's nice to meet you too, Timothy. What's your role on the ship?"
Timothy chuckled for a moment before responding. "Oh, me? My job's pretty boring. I'm just the quartermaster, essentially the guy who manages the ship's stores and assigns rooms."
Sargen nodded behind her. "Timothy's a good man; he helped me through some hard times and he still does from time to time."
"Yep, I try to help everyone on the ship when I can; Sargen is just special to me because he's one of my close friends." Timothy then turned his attention to Sargen, who seemed to shrink under his carefree gaze. "That reminds me, Sargen, you missed dinner last night. What's that all about?"
"I… something came up." The enormous Gojid stuttered, obviously nervous.
"Oh really? Well, we have a few days before our next assignment. You should come over tonight."
Sargen didn't seem too amused by that idea. "Timothy, you don't have to invite me over every week."
"Oh, but we do," Timothy countered. "Sargen, when you're at home on the station you subsist off of takeout and whatever junk food you pick up at the insta-mart. Me and Madison want to make sure you eat at least one
healthy meal every week."
Sargen grumbled for a moment, but didn't resist causing Timothy's smile to only grow. "Good, I'll expect you to be there. Siijima ,hun, you're invited too if you want to join us. We don't serve meat at the table when our crew members join us for dinner, I promise."
Timothy's kindness shocked Silijima. Inviting someone over for dinner on Nishtal was only done for business or if the individuals in question were good friends. For Timothy to invite Silijima, a relative stranger, over for dinner showed that he truly saw her as a potential friend. "I would be honored, but I wouldn't want to intrude on whatever… this is."
Haran snorted in amusement at Silijima's synopsis of the odd relationship between Timothy and Sargen, obviously having experienced this conversation beforehand.
"Nonsense," Timothy replied, "We always make extra, and any friend of Sargen's is a friend of ours."
Silijima didn't say anything in return, but Sargen spoke in her place. "Timothy, let's just get through lunch before you start inviting people to dinner."
Timothy shrugged, a smile on his face. "I understand. Just make sure you come tonight; Gabbie misses her Goji
Silijima had never seen a Gojid blush so deeply before. "Please don't use that name in public, it's degrading."
Timothy made a face that implied he obviously wasn't going to respect Sargen's request, causing the Gojid to fume.
To the right of Timothy was a Venlil female. She didn't wear anything except for a simple pearl necklace, but her fur was meticulously combed and groomed. She gave Silijima a soft, motherly smile, a smile that put her at ease.
"Don't mind the boys, dear, they're just acting like fools as usual. My name's Varka, one of the resident nurses under Dr. Kaczemeric." Venlil stuck out her paw, and Silijima was confused until she remembered to take Varka's hand. Varka simply giggled, obviously amused by Silijima not being used to human social norms. "It's nice to meet you too, dear. Why don't you sit down next to me? Carphano and I are probably less intimidating than our human friends."
Varka gestured to the final crew member at the table, a male Harchen with a scar across his face. He waved as well, his side facing eyes droopy and full, as if he hadn't had much sleep recently. "My name's Carphano, communications officer, nice to meet you."
Silijima sat in between them, the feeling of being amongst a group of species she was familiar with making her feel much more comfortable. Sargen and Timothy were still arguing quietly, while Haran watched with an amused look on his face. Suddenly, she heard the loud and repeated clinking
of a spoon against a glass. Across the dining room, Igor stood on a podium made from inlaid mahogany, a bright snarling smile plastered on his face. "Friends! Today is a good day! In the past week, we made history!"
The entire dining hall went silent at the sound of his voice. This must be a man that commanded their respect.
"Five days ago, we returned from what may just be the greatest group liberation in Commonwealth history. Thirty two cruiser-class cattle ships were captured, their prisoners saved and their guards captured or killed. Today, the Coalition has finally given us the exact number of cattle liberated, as well as our cut of the spoils!"
The entire dining hall was dead silent, the anticipation palpable. Finally, Igor gestured to a man next to him, a shorter human with a thin brown mustache and olive skin. The man passed him a paper, which Igor opened like a giddy child receiving a birthday card. Finally, he read the contents, his snarl only growing.
"The final number of liberated cattle was… one hundred and twenty-two thousand, three hundred and seventy four; the largest liberation in history."
The entire room broke into cheers, aliens of all races holding each other and yelling. It was pandemonium, but Silijima couldn't help but join the crowd, both the news and her herd instincts causing her to join in with triumphant squawks. The idea of saving over a hundred thousand sentients from slavery was so incredible that it invoked a euphoria inside of her that she hadn't felt for a long time.
Igor gestured for the crowd to quiet down, and as they did so he spoke up again. "We must remember, however, that this was not only our doing. We must congratulate our comrades who assisted us, all seven ships, their crews and captains, as well as mourn those who were lost while fighting for the freedom of others." With that statement, Igor held up a small glass of the clear liquid, as did many of the crew members. Then, he shouted at the top of his lungs "mortem tyrannis et oppressoribus!"
Before downing the liquid in a few gulps and slamming the glass onto the podium with a loud thump.
The rest of the crew followed suit, the largest arxur to the tiniest dossur drinking and shouting the motto Igor had proclaimed. Silijima didn't have a glass, so she just watched expectantly, waiting for Igor to continue.
"Now, for the part all of you have been waiting for; payroll. Even after the Coalition took their cut, and we split the profit eight ways, we made out like bandits. Needless to say, you'll all be getting the maximum bonus on top of your commissions."
More cheering, even louder this time. Silijima didn't blame them; Igor seemed like a good boss if he was giving out the maximum bonus for a job well done. Even Sargen had a bright smile on his face, as if he was already planning on what he was going to spend the money on.
"And finally, our future work; we won't be taking part in any liberation fleets any time soon. Instead, the Coalition sees fit to assign us on a defensive rotation, so it should be a calm few weeks. This means that if you've been on a few back to back missions, you should go home and rest for the month. Spend time with your family, or vacation planetside for all I care; God knows you all need it after our last victory. The rest of you; be prepared to take off on Friday and be space-born for at least a week at a time. And be prepared for a fight; NeoSec has detected a small Farsul fleet in the area, at least five thousand ships. Nothing cataclysmic, mind you, but still a worthy challenge."
There was murmuring now, people discussing the change of pace and whether they liked it or not. From the corner of her eye, she saw Sargen practically pouting, arms crossed and eyes refusing to make contact with Timothy's. Timothy, to his credit, seemed very pleased with himself.
"So hun, what brings you to our little slice of chaos?" Asked Timothy, eyes twinkling. He took another sip of his drink, a bottle of soda so green it almost looked radioactive. He seemed really nice, like a preacher, but without any of the feelings of hesitation she'd get from speaking to one. He lightly tapped the wedding band on his ring finger against the neck of the green glass bottle, causing it to make light clicking noises.
"I uhh… I wanted to get away from Nishtal. Too much is going on there for me to be comfortable with."
Timothy nodded. "That explains why you came to the Commonwealth, but not why you decided to become a Corsair. It's not an easy life, you know."
Silijima pondered his query for a second before responding. "Military life is all I know. When I finished secondary school I joined the navy because I had nothing better to do, but now that I'm out I can't imagine any other life. Sure, it's hard, and especially dangerous, but without that certainty and structure that I get from being on a warship, I feel lost."
Timothy nodded, his face becoming a little somber. "I understand that feeling. I'm ex-military, although I didn't see much combat. Getting out is the hardest thing I've ever done, although I'm pretty sure I never really left the service, I just changed who I served."
Silijima nodded. "It's refreshing to talk to someone who understands. That life… it changes you, and not for the better. Everyone at home, well, they're scared of me, they say I'm diseased and it's a matter of time before they throw me into some clinic where they drug and shock me until my brain melts. Even the people I served with, if they weren't already taken away for 'treatment' then they're too terrified to say anything because we don't know who we can trust."
For the first time since she had met him, Timothy didn't seem amused or amicable. He had a deep frown on his face and his eyebrows were bent downwards, an expression she had been told meant anger. She backed away a little, but he held up his hand. "I'm not mad at you, it's just the idea of an entire society treating those who risk their lives to protect them like dirt is despicable. On earth, we celebrate our heroes, not vilify them."
Silijima nodded. "In a perfect world maybe, but I'm used to it."
"But that's the problem; you shouldn't have had to live like that, in fear of the same people you swore to protect… it's not right."
"Maybe, but what's done is done. I left Nishtal and now I'm here, so maybe I can experience that respect for once."
"You don't have to hope, because I know
you will. The people here are different, even the former feds, you'll see."
And with that uplifting though, dinner began. Polina and her assistants, two Venlil and a Sikvit, rolled out massive wheeled tables filled to the brim with different steaming pots, pans and bowls containing all kinds of food. To her dismay, there was meat on the table, but there was also a section entirely dedicated to vegetarian dishes, and it was even longer than the table dedicated to meat.
Some of the naval staff ran up to help, with Polina shooing them away stubbornly. They simply ignored her and helped anyway, rolling the tables to the far wall next to the kitchen. Soon, a massive feast was gathered, with over two dozen tables of all sorts of human delicacies.
The crew quickly made their way to the tables, forming lines at each. Plates, bowls and cups were passed out by the kitchen staff, and soon people began piling their plates high with all sorts of food. Sargen had two whole bowls of what seemed to be a deep red colored stew, which she first foolishly assumed was blood, but quickly realized was just the liquid taking on the red color of the beets and cabbage. Timothy had a bowl of hearty cabbage stew that she had learned was called Schi
and a shallow plate of small, ear-shaped dumplings on the side called Pelmeni
, swimming in a fragrant broth and topped with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of black pepper. There were other dishes, so many that Silijima couldn't count them all, but she was introduced to many of them by Timothy when he led her up there to get her a plate. There was all sorts of vegetarian dishes for her to try, ranging from cold soups like Svekolnik, Okroshka
all sorts of salads with based on salted pickles and beetroots, several variations of hot soups like Schi
and Borscht, Vareniki
dumplings, farmers cheese shaped into cakes and shallow fried and so much more. Timothy insisted on making sure she got her fill, so he made her plate for her, filling her a bowl of Svekolnik and some Vareniki dumplings on the side with Smetana
and black pepper. Only then did he let her sit down, after he quickly said grace, of course. Silijima didn't know what saying grace meant exactly, but she guessed that it involved them thanking their strange human God for their food, which felt anything but predatory.
Timothy took a bite of his Pelmeni. "So, how're you liking the station so far? Anything peak your interest?"
Silijima chuckled. "Everything, actually. This place is so unique and alien compared to anything in the Federation; it makes me think about what my species would be like if the Federation hadn't erased our old culture."
Timothy gave her a small smile, but she could tell he was troubled. "And you don't mourn for that lost culture?"
Silijima paused, thinking about his question. "I suppose I do sometimes. The idea of us being freer and less… inane with our thinking really strikes me as a wonderful change of pace. I could never see myself as an omnivore… no offense!"
But Timothy wasn't offended. "I don't blame you for not suddenly being enamored with omnivore; the same happened with cloned meat on earth. A bunch of elites tried to make cloned meat the rule and not the exception through all sorts of government restrictions and subsidization schemes. All these rich influencers and wealthy magnates who can still afford to buy the real thing, and still do to this day mind you, told us how we were supposed to live and what we were supposed to do, that we were supposed to sacrifice while they enjoyed every luxury imaginable. To this day it doesn't sit well with a lot of people on the station."
Suddenly, Silijima's mouth dried up and her appetite disappeared. "You guys don't clone meat here?"
Timothy shook his head. "Nope, not a single pound. In fact, it's been lawfully and democratically voted into illegality by the citizens of the station, to protect our cattle farmers planetside. Most humans on earth aren't vegan and vegetarian by choice; it's really expensive to buy meat because of meat cloning, and that was before the war and the deals with the Arxur. Now you have to be vegan because of the massive decrease in available cattle. That doesn't stop the rich from eating their fill though."
Silijima looked away, internal disgust battling moral indecision. On one hand, the idea of eating love cattle was far more disgusting to her than cloned meat, but on the other hand she understood his metaphor clear as day; it was about the Commonwealth and the Federation. "You support cattle farming not because it's better, but because it benefits humans more."
"It's not about 'you' or 'me', Silijima, it's about 'us' and 'them'. At the end of the day, a government is supposed to represent everyone and see to their requests, not what the government thinks they need or want. That also means everyone should be equal under that representation, and not that the rich and wealthy should receive all the attention and benefits while the lives of you and I get harder and harder. Sadly, people had to learn the hard way that when you give governments the right and the power to provide you with everything, suddenly they provide you with nothing. Medical care, for example, started out as a right after the satellite wars. It quickly became a privilege for the 'good citizens' who voted the right way, and said the right things, and if you didn't suddenly you got a bill in the mail for hundreds of thousands of dollars for your daughter's chemotherapy, stating that you had waived your right to state-sponsored medical care the moment you chose to practice your right to free speech in a way that was deemed unsavory
by the UN." Timothy looked straight at her, his eyes boring into her soul, and she quickly realized that he was speaking from experience.
"What are you getting at," Silijima stated hastily, nervous over Timothy's sudden change in tone.
"What I'm getting at, Silijima," he stated, his eyes downcast as he ate another dumpling, "Is that rights shouldn't come with caveats. Just like you shouldn't be punished for coming back a changed woman after you dutifully served your people, I shouldn't have my daughter used against me for practicing what should be a universal right. Unchecked power is a cancer, and the Commonwealth was created to prevent that from ever coming into being."
Silijima mulled over what he said. Would humans really do that to each other in the name of power? Deprive each other of basic rights? Silijima was used to the Federation deceiving her people, but what punches had humanity pulled in the name of retaining power.
"Timothy, if I may ask, what is humanity really
Timothy chuckled. "What made you think I implied we were any different from what the UN had shown you?"
"The reveal of my species' former omnivory, and your statement about caveats and free speech. You made it sound like humanity was hiding something."
Timothy sighed, obviously weary. "It isn't humanity that's hiding anything, Silijima; it's the UN. They want you to think that they were all these wonderful, misunderstood balls of cloud fluff. In reality we're assholes. We hate each other with a passion and we're not afraid to show it. War, racism, misogyny and misandry, prejudice; we'll find a way to hate each other even if it's impractical because we need some great enemy to battle or otherwise we'll start asking questions, questions that will be of a detriment to the UN. The rich and powerful used this for a long time to make us forget we were fighting a class war and not a culture war. They made us enemies of each other because of how strong our convictions could be."
Silijima's heart sank. She had guessed as much.
But Timothy wasn't done. "Before you start judging us too harshly, I'd like to add that the pendulum swings both ways. Humans, we often hate each other, but we can be even more passionate. We love, we love, and we protect those who dedicate themselves to our cause with a fury like no other. And even though we have problems with race, we are equally able to see beyond it when the reality of how petty it is is presented to us. And to me, Silijima, you aren't a Krakotl; you're family, and there's no bond stronger than family."
Silijima considered whether she liked that or not. Then she realized that her standards had been far surpassed. These strange primates had been everything she hoped for and more. She figured she could pull a human and looked past race from now on.
"I'd like that," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'd like that very much."
Timothy smiled again, that bright, mischievous smile, and for once she wasn't alarmed or frightened. She was comforted. "I'm glad you do. But there's something else I wanted to tell you. There's a city from my old nation, and at the entrance of that city stands a great statue. Most of it was obliterated during the bombing, but one piece remained; the plaque. It read as followed;"
Then Timothy spoke poetry that reached into Silijima's soul, and her tears became unbearable. She cried as he spoke it, as if they were the words she wished to hear all her life, a promise that could set her free. "Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. “Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”"
"We took the plaque with us when we fled, I helped carry it myself," Timothy said, a shadow of a smile formed on his lips, as if he was reminiscing the moment, "they're still demanding it back to this day, which is why we welded it to the wall behind the seats of our council chambers; the UN doesn't deserve it back, they lost the right to speak those words long ago. But the message is universal; you are welcome here, as is your family, and you will not be silenced or suppressed. We want you at your best, and we are willing to deal with your worst. All we ask is that you have an open mind, and do the same for us."
Silijima nodded, tears streaming from her eyes. "I can do that."
Timothy's smile grew even brighter, and he wrapped his arm around Sargen's shoulder, pulling him in close. "Then I'm sure me and my family would gladly welcome you, isn't that right Sargen?"
"Hmmmkmfh?" Sargen said, confused and with his mouth full of borscht. Silijima laughed, and for the first time in years the stress that had built up in her chest was gone. She was free. She was where she belonged.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I'm back. This is officially the end of the first Gunbirb Saga. I won't be focusing on Silijima for a while because I'll be focusing on other places, and other topics. The Galaxy of Interloper is even bigger than the standard NOP galaxy, and I've got so much to show you (; I posted the first chapter of the next Part prematurely: that was a mistake on my part but I was dying to write more about Dojur and his consolidation of power. The next five or so chapters will be of a very different tone than the first five, much darker but also filled to the brim with Arxur and Dominion worldbuilding about culture, religion and daily life. If you like what I've written so far, and you like my terrible writing and my inane worldbuilding, go check out other stories that I've written: Waking Dreams
: An insane pokemon/bleach crossover, and my first real attempt at writing something. It's a long story that's nowhere near finished, and it's got the deep worldbuilding that I'm not really known for [: The Spider's Stronghold
: Another insane fanfic crossover between Pathfinder and PJO, primarily Jason-centric. Take that as you will. I also just wanted to thank everyone who either helped with this story or gave me support in the form of art (That would be u/BushBacon69 ) Or simply taking the time to comment ( u/A_Tank_With_Internet, u/AcceptableEgg5560, u/bltsrgewd
, and others.) Thank you all; without the motivation you all have given me, I wouldn't have finished this fic.
Been using a Maschine Studio for a few years now and decided to get a Mk3 to save some space, use the onboard I/O, and - what I thought was most importantly - be able to use the touch strip to strum chords.
Setting the strip to 'note' mode and the pads into 'keyboard' mode strums through a scale as expected, but it's not behaving how I expected it would in 'chord' mode.
What I expected: Pressing a chord pad and swiping the touch strip would arpeggiate the notes in the chord one-by-one as I moved through the strip.
What is happening: Pressing a chord pad and swiping the touch strip anywhere just sounds all of the notes in the chord at once.
Is this the best it can do? What am I missing? Why would the strip just sound all the notes at once when pressing the pads by themselves can already do that?
I was really hoping to load up my Omnichord VST and strum away. Right now it's not letting me do that. (Maybe I should have never sold my ISLA Kordbot -- it could do that)