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2013.04.16 21:28 BlackNuggets garden grove the town not sublime song

garden grove town in california not the god damn sublime song

2008.05.19 18:46 Sacramento Local News and Forum

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2023.06.03 06:51 ihatepeople59 Am I unlikely to vomit?

I’ve had a stomachache for almost 2 weeks and have a sore throat now (got one a few hrs ago) but haven’t thrown up. I already had a tummy ache somewhat but ate a burger and fries three hours ago now (it’s currently 9:49pm) and have felt kind of nauseous since but haven’t thrown it up. I’ve had chest pain throughout these past few weeks and have finally stopped having diarrhea. I’m about to go sit on the toilet and see if I need to use it. My throat feels funny and I’ve found at points during this time frame (I started to feel nauseous first last Monday) that when I burp I may taste smthn that tastes kind r like vomit to me. It’s like I can feel things moving around in my stomach and chest. I didn’t go to school last week but returned this week. How long will my body take to throw up if I need to?
I started to feel cold a few hrs ago and put some more clothes on. I suspect I am still dehydrated as my lips feel somewhat dry. For some reason swallowing feels odd or difficult.
My chest hurts or I’m experiencing some chest pain (not on my breast exactly but near ish to it) and feel v tired.
When I asked to go to the ER last Wednesday they suggested that I am dehydrated. My tongue looks better than it did, but my lips still feel somewhat dry.
I’ve occasionally had sharp stomach pain over last couple of days
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2023.06.03 06:51 Same_Peach1941 His journey.

I was reading a thread on marks channel vs GG from 6 years ago, and my point was …. Just look at this man now. Mark has openly admitted his persona from his past , and he shouldn’t have to just based on him choosing to do what he wanted to with his channel. He has moved on and Has completely changed his delivery, however his genuinely caring/giving personality with his public reach and his platform and has done so many things for community’s around the world As well as exploring his artistic side and has had overwhelming support from his fans. More than I can say for any current/past YouTuber I have/do watch. For someone who has watched him from the beginning and still sees the differences between the persona he felt like he had to play to the real mark shining through and now is genuinely himself. I honestly couldn’t be prouder to follow the life of the man he has become. We all realize the part of our selves that took time to grow. He’s truly shows what it means to move on from expectations and to a life he wants to live for himself as well as show is community what life can bring. If someone cannot see the true effort that he puts into daily life for himself , his personal andd public life … reevaluate. It’s not different than what we have to do in our daily lives, maybe even more .. talking from a homeschool/stay at home mom being the same age. Even with the differences in life. I definitely see the efforts he puts in with everything he does. No matter the content of that day/week. Im able to sit aside and realize the strength it takes to live that life … especially living the life I do.
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2023.06.03 06:51 Sudden_Humor Sora Unchained examined (from the old Goddess Project site)

I am not the original creator. Posted on the old GoddessProject fansite

Sora Unchained Examined to Unconsciable levels.
Part one of an as yet unknown number of posts listing assorted triva, observations, and other neat stuff from the Sora Unchained arc. I've been going back over my old posts on this series and collecting whatever I'd said about the stories while waiting for others to get their copies. Now I'm going to post them in chapter order along with whatever else I might have on that chapter. If anyone else wants to contribute, feel free. Afterwards I'm going to consolidate these posts into one article and post it for general information. If this works out well maybe I'll go back and do this for some of the other arcs.
Sora Unchained arc - Dark Horse Trade Paperback number 19/20 Issued Jan. 2005, To be Reissued Feb. 2012 Kodansha Tankouban Vol. 19 and 20
Part 1 - I Choose You, Sora. Dark Horse issue 105, Feb. 2004 release Let's Decide The New Chief Kodansha chapt. 119, July 1998 release Tankouban Vol. 19
Sora Hasegawa, closet debutant.
The cover illustration shows Sora wearing a "Lolita, Clash, Lolita Lempic... , Paris" shirt. While I'm still looking for details (My daughter seems to recall a punk/SKA group called Lolita Clash) it seems more likely this is a reference to a fancy french perfume label "Lolita Lempicka". It seems to be a fairly high end brand of fragrences with VERY fancy bottles. Further information is desired.
The idea of cheating when drawing lots is a common theme in manga and anime. It's been pointed out on other sites that Tamiya and Otaki are shown setting up poor clueless Keiichi to win the drawing for who gets to be the driver in the OAV's motorcycle contest, and cheating on such selection processes has been used in story plots in Sailormoon and Maison Ikkoku.
There are several ways this supposedly random drawing can be rigged, mostly by whoever sets up the lots in the first place. Hence the comments by the club members about irregularities by Sora's promoters and Keiichi's comeback line of "is this the face of a cheater?!" (Belldandy wouldn't cheat if life itself depended on it. She'd just be sure the right decision would come about.)
The untranslated names of the club members on the bottom of the Choosing Maze are Mitsuwa, Ishii, Hasegawa, Chikafuji, and Kawada. Exactly which name goes with which member other than Sora hasn't been firmly established, but I believe the one with the mustach is Kawada (kon) Suzuki (dou) and the large gentleman is Watanabe (based on wild speculation using information from the Hill Climb Motorcycle and Singing Contest stories). Exactly how this maze game works to select someone is something I'd love to learn, anyone know?
(Addendum - see next post)
Part 2 - The Shortcut To Winning. Dark Horse issue 106, Mar. 2004 release The Way Of Competition Kodansha chapt. 120, Aug. 1998 release Tankouban Vol. 19
The Racing Board shown is a real item. I found an advertisment and website for a Tanaka Paveracer, 40cc power cart that looks remarkably like the ones in the story.
The little creature Belldandy is using is called an Airbug Spiralee. It will be appearing in later chapters. Why Dark Horse felt the need to put an "and" in the name here is unknown.
A most important developement in this story is how a running theme that has existed throughout the series is made absolutely clear here. It wasn't really obvious at first, but a character trait BOTH Belldandy and Keiichi share is that they are gung-ho competitors and nothing makes them happier than squaring off against a new opponent. In the past, their pleasure in such competitions has been clouded by outside circumstances or unhappy results if they lose, but both Bell and Keiichi love a pure challenge they can devote themselves to totally. (This is first mentioned by Bell in the Anime Otoku story.)
This wasn't very clearly shown earlier in the manga, and many stories even made it seem as if Belldandy was rather timid about taking risks. (I know I thought that at first, and from the older posts on the subject I wasn't the only one.) That's why her occasional outbursts of excessive force or effort seemed so out of character. Actually, she's an all or nothing sort of competitor, who is just very choosy about what she decides to get involved in. Normally she tries not to upset things or push herself into situations, but when she decides to go for it (or she feels she's forced to), look out! This aspect of Bell's personality will become more noticable in the manga stories from here on, and if you go back and review the older stories I think you'll see what I mean.
Part 3 - The Director's Curse. Dark Horse issue 107, April 2004 release The Cursed Chief Kodansha chapt. 121, Sept. 1998 release Tankouban Vol. 19
If you didn't notice, Sora is still steering the racing board while riding tandem with Belldandy.
Belldandy HAS driven a go-cart before. She learned by copying Diana Lockheed's moves while racing her back in Winner Take All. However, this race WAS before Chihiro and the other current club members had joined the story.
This is also one of the story arcs where her competitive nature starts showing. (Observe her efforts to win in the races, fight off the sleep demon, and how she can ignore K-1's behavior without embarassment in order to get back on track.)
And for those of you following the TV anime, the next part of the arc (What A Miracle) is where we first see Tamiya in his cheerleader outfit.
It's interesting how Sora never questions just how Belldandy has such an accurate inventory of the interesting wildlife in the area in her head. (Especially as the animals in question would be in motion and not likely to be in the same places day after day. Well maybe the owl would, but otherwise how could a normal person know all those detail with such certainty?) Of course it is Bell saying it, and Sora was distracted.
Still its fun noticing how people just accept what Belldandy tells them without worrying about how she might know such things. (P. S. The Japanese text is just slightly less specific as to the racoons and owls locations, but more specific as to where the starlings are.)
Part 4 - Special Training Dark Horse issue 108, May 2004 release Crash Course Continues Kodansha chapt. 122, Oct. 1998 release Tankouban Vol. 19
The most fascinating aspect of this story is that it shows a 180 turnabout on the part of Bell's sisters. Skuld is going off on a rant about how Belldandy and Keiichi should always be together (at least as far as racing's concerned) , while Urd is saying (at least publically) that it's okay for them to do things apart.
We also haven't seen Skuld do the "PBTTT!" bit for awhile.
I try to not take sides in translation conflicts. I cannot speak or read any Japanese so I don't feel qualified to judge who's version is correct. (I do feel qualified to compare different versions however.) In this story however there are two places where the Dark Horse and independent translations differ in ways that I felt should be pointed out.
In the Japanese version, Keiichi is commenting on how Skuld and Urd are such sisters rather than Belldandy and Skuld.
More importantly, there's a joke in the sequence where the club members are preparing for Sora's next attempt to drive through them that Dark Horse left out. In the panel where the club member in the bandana is standing in front of the really large member, in the English version the smaller member is thinking, "Am I fast enough to dive for cover?" The Japanese version goes more like, "If I have to, I'll hide behind him... " That's what the arrow that Dark Horse left between them is refering to, and if they decided to remove the joke they should have removed the arrow.
Part 5 - Drive Dark Horse issue 109, June 2004 release Everybody Races Kodansha chapt. 123, Nov. 1998 release Tankouban Vol. 19
Not much trivia to report in this story.
The biggest discussion point here is how Dark Horse reinterpreted Keiichi's comments while he's practicing with Sora and what he and Belldandy say to each other that night in the temple garden. The Japanese text doesn't have him actually challanging Sora to follow him or making statements to Belldandy later that he thought he might have been considered as helping Sora. However, the drawings do seem to be depicting him doing just that, so in this case I think the Dark Horse/Studio Proteus version is closer to what Mr. Fujishima intended.
Part 6 - Miles and Miles Dark Horse issue 110, July 2004 release Keiichi's Distance, Hasegawa's Distance Kodansha chapt. 124, Dec. 1998 release Tankouban Vol. 20
Those stamps Tamiya, Otaki, and later Chihiro, are using at their check points are their signature stamps. The letters printed by them are their names.
Keiichi DOES have a Check Point list, his senpais are just choosing to stamp his face to aggravate him.
As a bit of speculation on my part, I'm sure you've noticed how Tamiya and Otaki put on hapi coats with the Whirlwind logos on them after they've stamped both Keiichi and Sora (so Sora and K-1 won't see them wearing them). Such coats are a form of advertising used by shops and worn by people employed by the shop to do things in public places. One of these things is handing out flyers and brochures at special events, which is what I think Chihiro is having them do for her after the racers have passed. More on this in the last story.
Part 7 - The Race Gets Hot, A Goddess Gets Hotter! Dark Horse issue 111, Aug. 2004 release The Race Begins! Goddess Acts Too! Kodansha chapt. 125, Jan. 1999 release Kodansha chapt. 126, Feb. 1999 release Tankouban Vol. 20
One can only wonder how Keiichi heard them tell Sora she might have to pay a toll.
As has been pointed out by many sources, the poster next to the locker room door for the sea slug society is the same poster found on the bulletin board next to the NIT-MCC recruiting poster put up by Keiichi in the movie. I believe this is the first example of a movie reference in the manga.
Urd and Skuld's assistance to Keiichi is interesting for a number of points, not the least of which is that it shows Skuld as probably being able to teleport and levitate the same as Urd. (She seems to have gotten there on her own, and later disappears behind her smoke cloud cover. It doesn't seem like she just ran away and does wind up in the tree with Urd. Now Urd may have been providing transport for both of them, but judging from their conversation I can't see them cooperating to that degree.
They both seem to feel they have a duty to help Keiichi, like he was family. Or to score points with Belldandy. Either way, Keiichi is now an insider in their world view.
The Freaky Potion - Stupid New Machine rivalry is finally firmly established.
Urd establishes the use of a kiss (first seen in the movie) as a method of passing on a spell to someone.
The car next to Belldandy in the parking lot where she's waiting for the race to end is a Caterham Super 7, the same car driven by Sena Wakabayyashi, Ken Nakajima's stepmother in You're Under Arrest. This is the first guest crossover between the two series that I'm aware of.
The conversation between Belldandy and the club members actual marks the end of Kodansha's chapter 125. Chapter 126 starts with the aftermath of Urd's kiss and Skuld's indignation at it. Chapter 126 is then split between Dark Horse issue 111 and 112.
For those (very) few readers who didn't get it, Keiichi is making steam train sounds (chuffa-chuffa! Whoo-woo!)
The trash stalls Keiichi lands in (marked flammable and non-flammable) is a recyling station. Wood and paper goes in the flammable side, plastics and metals are in the non-flammable side. Keiichi crashed in the side with the harder, sharper objects.
911 is not an emergency number in Japan. What Sora is refering to in the Japanese text are emergency procedure numbers in the community disaster response handbook. (There are guideline procedures for fires, floods, earthquakes, car crashes, injuries, heart attacks, etc.)
When Keiichi drives off the ledge and crashes into the recycling bin, he's saved from serious injury by Holy Bell spinning an air cushion for him to land on. But why was she there to save him in the first place? Belldandy is at the finish line in the parking lot, talking to the other club members and waiting for the race to finish, and Holy Bell should be with her. Unless . . .
Maybe Belldandy had already split off a copy of herself at the start of the race and had been keeping an eye on Keiichi, just in case. (The rules of competition are sacred, but she also has a prior commitment to take care of Keiichi.) Which is why she was in a position to dispatch Holy Bell just in time to save him. And also how she knew instantly that Urd had put a spell on Keiichi.
Which would mean she might also have known about Urd kissing Keiichi, but had dismissed it as just the method Urd used to get the spell into him. (So it was probably a good thing K-1 didn't finish saying "incredible kiss". Bell might have reconsidered just how harmless it was and gotten a little jealous.)
As an additional observation, I don't think that angels can be multipled, only the goddesses. As a seperate entity the angel would need to copied seperately and giving each mini-goddess their own angel would be just a bit too much power out there. Rather, I think its more likely that the angel can manifest itself through any one of the copies as needed. Thus, if mini-Bell needs Holy Bell to save Keiichi, she can summon her, but then Bell back at the parking lot cannot while mini-Bell is using her at the recycling center.
Part 8 - The Best Magic Dark Horse issue 112, Sept. 2004 release Aberrant Kiss The Strongest Magic Kodansha chapt. 126, Feb. 1999 release Kodansha chapt. 127, Mar. 1999 release Tankouban Vol. 20
Dark Horse issue 112 contains both Kodansha chapter 126 and 127 Chapter 126 is split between Dark Horse issue 111 and 112. Chapter 126 ends after Belldandy leaves Keiichi to fix his racing board and continue the race.
It was fitting that Dark Horse would celebrate its long established habit of recombining Kodansha manga chapters with its last two comic book issue releases.
When Belldandy and Holy Bell leave Keiichi after he wakes up, they transport themselves through a piece of chromed metal (a mirrored surface).
So Keiichi re-invents the motorized skate board with just the items in his pockets. Now that's a mechanic! I wonder if Mr. Fujishima wanted a chance to do a skateboard montage without making it look like that was what he wanted to do.
It's interesting to note that since the sign says "NO BIKES OR CYCLES" Keiichi is not actually breaking any rules since what he's riding doesn't fit either of those catagories.
As is revealed at the end of this story, a hidden sub-plot of this arc was how mercantile Chihiro can be. Her plot to use the Motor Club's race as an advertising stunt to sell the racing boards is foreshadowed by the scene in the first part of the story where we see how fast Chihiro can put on her "Salesperson Face" and Keiichi's comments on how she can "Turn It On." Later there are hints that she's doing something on her own behind the scenes, then we see she's got Tamiya and Otaki in Whirlwind coats at the check points, but doesn't want Keiichi or Sora to see the coats. Finally, at the end we discover they've been handing out sales brochures, that the race had been advertised as a sales stunt, and that Chihiro has already made a sign exploiting Keiichi's emergency conversion to a motorized skateboard as a sales feature.
This doesn't mean she wasn't honestly trying to help Sora and the NIT-MCC resolve their leadership crisis. It's quite obvious she was. It's just that its also being shown that she's not above using this as an opportunity to further her own mercantile efforts as well.
Kurthy133 Question and Answer
Tim, since you had some speculations about the cover illustration involving Sora's shirt in Part One of the Sora Unchained arc, I was wondering if you had any ideas about Bell's shirt in the cover illustartion of Part Two (39 hat and all.) It is much harder to read, but I figured that if anyone might know, it would be you!
While there might be some significance to the 39, I'm not aware of any. In general what she's wearing seems to be a fairly typical example of race crew wear.
In almost any motorized vehicle race (and many others as well) in Japan where there's enough money available for such things, the support team for a racer is dressed in similar, stylized, color coordinated, semi-casual clothes, often with the name of the sport, the racer's name or number, and the event or team's sponsers on them. (This is common for most professional sports around the world.)
What Belldandy is wearing seems pretty close to what other manga and anime characters I've seen wear at such events (including in the earlier AMG manga and OAV stories.) The board is a lap board where the driver's time is recorded for each lap and held up so the drivers can see how they're doing, Whatever that logo on the shoes is, it's probably a parody of some real sneaker label. And the visible lettering on her sleeve starts with a "G" and ends with "RT", the rest being to my eyes unreadable. While in no way defendable, I'd guess it reads "Go-Cart".
Now, did you notice that Belldandy seems to be wearing the same shirt while sitting on the motorcycle two stories later? The printing on the sleeve is either missing or not visible, but the shirt back has what appears to be "Team Hasagawa" printed on it.
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2023.06.03 06:51 chicken152425 Advice on resigning from a great company, but a difficult boss?

I have genuinely enjoyed my time working for my current company since joining in November 2021. Initially, I had a fantastic boss who not only supported me but also encouraged me to aim for a promotion when I expressed my interest. In August, I was fortunate to be promoted under a new boss at a different location.
Unfortunately, my experience with my new boss has been challenging as she has made it quite evident that she harbors negative feelings towards me. Over the past few months, I have felt constantly scrutinized and like she's trying to push me out of the company. Despite these difficulties, I made a commitment to myself to persevere and explore other opportunities within the organization.
However, in January, my boss informed me that I had to wait for four months before I could apply for another position. Disappointingly, in April, she extended the waiting period by an additional six months before I could even consider a promotion.
This situation has taken a toll on my mental health, and after careful consideration, I have made the difficult decision to resign. Coincidentally, I was recently presented with a great opportunity at another company, which I accepted yesterday. I took the time tonight to write a professional resignation letter expressing my gratitude for the opportunity to work for my current company. The letter also includes a three-week notice, and I plan to deliver it to my boss on Monday.
It is important to me to part ways on good terms and to ensure that I don't burn any bridges. I want to keep the possibility open for future reapplication, perhaps in a different location within the company.
Any advice or guidance on how to navigate this situation with professionalism and grace would be greatly appreciated.
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2023.06.03 06:50 lukeylukeluke2 A letter to my parents. I wonder if they/me are narcissistic. 50% me just shouting into the void 50% feedback appreciated. Was going to get Chatgpt to change it into a rap to keep you all interested but cba

I am currently attending therapy and my work with them has made me more conscious of uncomfortable feelings that have led to a feeling of resentment and loss that stems from my childhood.
What follows Is my account of my experience, feelings, interpretations, memories. Whilst yours might be different, I am telling you mine and how it is real to me, sometimes from the perspective of the child that experienced these things where things are a lot more significant than they might be for an adult and not even register.
I get that some things might be remembered wrongly
i currently pay to attend psychoanalytic psychotherapy therapy 14 hours a week, 5 days a week. This is following a near lifetime of attending various other therapies, medications and being imprisoned by various coping mechanisms I learned to help me survive since childhood.
I feel you have already acknowledged that you have let me down. Yet you still wish to be connected with me. I would like to be connected with you too but I feel angry.
I want to connect with you both, my siblings, people in general and even myself but it seems I am deeply angry/resentful for being presented in my childhood with an environment where I felt scared and ashamed of expressing my needs and feeling deprived of emotional connection. My physical needs were taken care of but emotionally I think that people were not present and short of temper, time, attention and other resources.
I felt bad, guilty, ashamed for having needs and even felt fearful that my body would express a want for its needs to be fulfilled (e.g. crying).
I feel that I am expected to trust the excuses of the absences, the uncertainties, the short tempers, the half families and have learnt to feel shame/guilt to feel unsure, insecure and resentful of fully emotionally connecting.
I have curiosity about what the family/work secrets are, I don't need to know them but the message that family secrets have is that your loyalty sides with protecting these things at the expense of trust with your son as inherent in secrets is a lack of congruence. And with a lack of congruence you get gaslighting; you get a lack of trust in both the people you depend on for your survival and development (both personal and social) and emotional intimacy, connection cannot exist in that environment.
I feel that through various bits of information this caricature of you being some sort of James Bond/secret service/military/government (whatever) character has been allowed to be associated with daddy however all I have experienced of him is me feeling him being a tyrant in my childhood and being a broken man waiting for god whilst mummy waits on him in my adulthood. Of course I would like to see my father as James bond but he is a fictional/exceptional character that is unrealistic to try to emulate and the feeling of me having to live up to that has caused issues in it's own right. For me, nothing I can do is good enough as it is in the shadow of this fictional character. If I take away the fantasy (IE what I feel like I have been led to believe) and I just look at what I have experienced, I don't see a James Bond, I see a failed inventor with very childish defence mechanisms including using stories and the art of ambiguity (like poetic CV writing) and the idea that the threat of physical violence is the only way to assert ones strength.
I gave up trying to get a convincing account of various anomalies as the responses I get are very far fetched and just begat more questions, it's utterly hopeless. For example, I feel that whoever these half siblings are, whatever grandiose reasons there might be to justify doing things the way they have been done, they on the other hand are humans, apparently your children, who might be afforded more dignity than they have, especially in the light of finding out that the person they consider is their natural father is rather than dead, has actually been living with another family in the next city.
All during this, I have felt alone, not actually stood up for. When I brought all this to your attention previously I was told "we're sorry, we have let you down, but this is how we were brought up ourselves" as if to absolve yourselves of any responsibility for either the past, present or future.
I find it troubling that I cannot get myself to talk about this stuff, to express my feelings, to criticize or to enquire. I find it troubling that I would feel guilt, shame, fear to do so.
When bringing up my experience of things and it happens to not be in a favourable light, instead of acknowledging these things, 'the messenger is shot' and I am told I am ungrateful and 'only remember the bad stuff'
I remember receiving wonderful gifts, I loved playing with Lego etc. I wonder what was going on at the time I started to receive gifts that were more challenging than I could deal with yet didn't get help with completing them. I felt alone, unsupported. I felt it set me up for failure.
I am curious what was going on around 1990 when according to my doctors notes it was reported that I was having mood and behaviour problems. I don't know if it is because of the death of granddaddy, the move to a new school and city, the birth of Leah, the birth of a half sibling, me being stuck on a school coach vomit comet or something else that I was picking up subconsciously through whatever was going on in the environment I was being brought up in.
I wonder why for as long as I can remember, even before socialising with other children I was seen as polite (fawning/walking on egg shells) and I was shy.
I wonder what might have lead me to being anxious about vomit. It has been proposed that it is a fear of the act of involuntarily expressing something that I cannot digest. For example, being shamed for crying.
My coping mechanisms of stonewalling, ignoring could be interpreted as narcissistic behaviours. However, I do these behaviours out of anger, and fear, the combination or which would be resentment. I choose these behaviours because I am fearful of expressing my needs either aggressively or assertively. I fear this because as a child, I believed that physical violence, spanking, or much worse was always a potential.
I remember people, particularly daddy getting offended at things whether they were disrespectful, neutral or innocent. The safest thing for me was to just shut up and hide.
The sound of screaming, slamming doors, the feeling of the stonewalling made me feel frightened, shocked. The physical symptoms were very uncomfortable and I experience these same symptoms whenever I hear a door slam, whenever someone is short with me, whenever I'm in a car and countless other situations.
I feel that daddy's attempts to assert boundaries with Lyndsay (if that was what was going on... I don't actually have any idea what was going on other than perhaps this to explain Lyndsay's horrifying screaming) were undermined by mummy withdrawing and ignoring him (going to bed, sulking). This is mummy's way of expressing her anger and manipulating daddy and others into getting what she wants. This technique is used by people who are up against people who cannot fight physically as they are physically weaker than the other person and cannot communicate assertively in this situation for whatever reason. I have learnt to do this myself and have learnt that this is called passive aggressive behaviour and is often associated with narcissistic behaviour.
With my father being away for most of the time, both physically and mentally, it was left to my mother to bring me up. In this situation I have learnt to be protective of my mothers needs, to make her happy, often at the expense of me expressing my needs as this would have led to a painful drain on her limited resources. Daddy's way of asserting his strength through what I perceived as an unspoken physical threat taught me that masculinity is disgusting and 'not the way' that you ingratiate yourself to women and not a way that leads women to feel safe and treated with respect. This however has lead me to neglect to develop masculine traits and this affects me in all types of my relationships. I don't think I ever learnt to be assertive, I learnt that having needs met would lead to conflict and that conflict requires aggression and winning rather than discussion and perhaps compromise. Thus I have bizarrely become spoilt as I have never had my expectations questioned and not learnt to be happy with compromise. I instead sulk. The tragedy is that I am spoilt yet left with nothing.
I feel my mother should have been the source for nurturing and through unconditional love I would be given an innate sense that I am worthy of love no matter what the world says otherwise and my father for feelings of harnessing the world through my strength of assertiveness.
Instead I feel love (or in this case, approval, or just 'not being chastised') was on condition that I am mummy's rock, I please her, I fawn by not asking too much of her, whilst my sister demands everything, resulting in me being fed scraps.
I feel perhaps resentful of the general feeling of unease I have due to not being fully protected from what was going on in the family environment
I am frightened of every member of my family. The feeling of someone snapping at me cuts me deeply to this day.
The fact that I have felt that I am only comfortable to express all this with the distance of an email, at the age of 41 after decades of intensive therapy that I have been too ashamed to confess to having is very telling about the severity/enormity/entrenchment of my feelings.
The feeling as a child of waiting as if it was an eternity, wondering if my dad would ever come back to share some real connection knowing over time that I would only find when he did come back, he wasn't 'there'. he was in a violent stupor, the shrieking from my sister would start followed by the choking oppressive withdrawing from my mother; the 'performative' playing 'happy families' once daddy had sobered up as if nothing had happened (look again at those Christmas home videos, my smile is a grimace, and it still is. I suspect Lyndsay's is too. Poor Leah, floating around, I assume genuinely happy as she hasn't yet had things subconsciously filter in); only for the cycle to be gone through again and again.
This doesn't even touch the feeling that I have of Lyndsay acting out her frustrations on me.
I think self-diagnosing her with some sort of personality is a way of excusing yourselves from her childhood environment having an influence on her behaviour. It also condemns her to a lifetime of her being the way she is.
I felt like I could not depend on my parents for my security and development and had a sense of pride in being independent compared to my siblings yet have realised that I am just as dependent on others as my sisters are, in fact I am hiding the fact that I feel my needs would be too much for people (perhaps where me being afraid of puking comes from as I can't control it). we just have different ways of dealing with being dependent. Fortunately for my siblings that means they get to grab everything (I'm sure they have their pitfalls), yet for me it results in me shooting myself in the foot and I get scraps or nothing. I wait for attention, I get proof that I am loved by waiting for the person to give it and feeling resentful at the person for them not reading my mind.
That time when I was crying in my room and daddy asked me "if there was ever anything wrong you would tell me right?" And I said "no". That was an act of defiance. I was furious (for being absent; for being temperamental (triggered to snap at people and take things as a personal criticism whether they were or not); for not being an inspiration; for having the expectations of someone who was qualified/deserved the benefits of being a father without actually fulfilling his responsibilities of being a father) with you by then yet also terrified. I feel what you were asking was for me to emotionally connect with you so knowing that that's how I have power over you.
I do not intend for this to be a slagging match. I wish to just communicate my experience of things and how I feel. And honestly right now I feel ashamed, guilty and scared for any number of the "Four Horsemen" to have their input for having dared to express my needs or to have criticized. I probably won't pick up any phone calls or texts for now and will respond to an email when I feel ready in order to avoid an emotional interaction that, whilst I wish I could bare, I cannot.
The damage is done, no one can go back in time to fix this and I am not sure that I will see anyone putting in the amount of work into finally curtailing this intergenerational trauma, if that's what it is as much as I seem to have devoted my life to. I have experienced what I have experienced and had developed the methods of coping that I had available to me at the time and I now feel trapped by them. I don't know what to do for the future. Perhaps I need to go through some grieving process and develop the confidence that I will be able to express my needs, the acceptance that I will not always get what I want and no longer sulk. I have become aware of my feelings of anger and fear, I have been resentful, now I am attempting to express my feelings. What happens next might depend on the response I get but I will need to do things at my own pace. As for if you want to do anything, that's up to you. I feel safer to not be dependent on yourselves, or others in general however, like I said, despite this, I am dependent on people whether I like it or not. This area I am hazy with.
I am still working on myself, perhaps my feelings might change entirely. As for how things could work going forward, I don't yet know, I am yet to work it out, but maybe this is a step out of a cul-de-sac and towards somewhere closer than us just mutually switching our brains off and staring at the same corner of the living room and me 'performing'.
I need to learn to be comfortable expressing my feelings and needs, even if this means I am being critical. Then I need to let go of resentment and the idea that although you want connection with me I feel it is later than when I needed it.
I am preoccupied with a painful, discomforting sense of emptiness, a sense of deprivation, a hunger, a longing that I constantly, in one way or another seek to resolve or distract myself from. I would like to one day no longer feel this however I'm not even sure if I will be afforded such a luxury and finally get on with my life.
submitted by lukeylukeluke2 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:50 throwawizayyay I have an intriguing business offer thanks to a certain “talent” that I am seriously considering for financial reasons. However, I would be a scumbag of the highest order if I took it.

I (M34) have been blessed with a wonderful life (not bragging, just being thankful). I have an amazing family, incredible friends, and have enjoyed my fair share of luck with some wonderful women.
At this age, I still don’t necessarily know if I believe in marriage. I have had some relationships, but nothing significant. So at the point in my life, I am enjoying things as a bachelor. I have a decent job and work really hard so I can afford the things that I want. I feel like some day, I may want a woman to spend my life with, but I haven’t met her yet. In the meantime, I have enjoyed a fair bit of dating and in some cases, spending the night.
Amongst my friend group, I am the only single guy. The group is essentially 8 girls and 6 guys,. 5 sets of guys and girls are couples, which leaves me and two single female friends (Bella and Marie). Significant others are always welcome in our group, and I have introduced my friends to quite a few women in the last decade. I have started to earn a reputation amongst the group as a “ladies man”. Some of the women I have brought around have lasted a few months, other a few weeks, and others a few days.
However, two girls in particular have played a role in my current predicament: Bella and Marie. Things, in both cases, got very intense very quickly in, Bella lasting 6 months, and Marie about a year. These “relationships” were largely sexual and the “relations” were frequent and spontaneous. Well, as you’d expect over the course of my involvements with both Bella and Marie, girls talk.
I was flattered to hear, through a few of the married guys in the group, that one night at dinner, both Bella and Marie described me as the “best sex they have ever had by some distance.” Again, I’m not bragging, but I do have some “talents” that have certainly helped me enjoy my bachelor days to the fullest. Well, apparently word spread fast, and out of nowhere an interesting offer came my way.
About two months ago, I lost my job through some tough layoffs and it broke my heart. It also destroyed my income for about 6 months. I was struggling to meet deadlines and make payments. I had drinks with Marie one night when things were really bad, and she could tell I was struggling. She cheered me up, and mentioned that I could make good money as a male prostitute. I laughed it off. Two weeks later, I got a text.
Tara, a girl from the friend group who has been dating Paul for a few years, is having her bachelorette party next month in Destin. Apparently, Marie and Bella have been presenting the girls with an option for ”entertainment” for the week. And the response to the proposition, from all the other women from the party, was a resounding “yes”.
Essentially, they want to “rent” me. Supposedly, every single one of women who are going on the trip has shown interest in sharing an evening with me due to the rave reviews from Bella and Marie. They are wanting to give me a room on the top floor of the beach house, away from everyone else. All week, day and night, I am to be available for “ anonymous visits” from the women. If the door is open, I’m available. If it’s closed, I’m either on break, recovering, or with someone. Some of these women are single, some are in relationships (with friends of mine), and some are married (also, in some cases, to friends of mine). There are 12 of them in total, all of them wanting to have sex with me and enter into a pact with there friends to keep it a secret.
Normally, I feel like this is something I would have never considered. However, the financial offer is great at a time when I really need it, and I don’t want to pass up a paid trip. I am confident about my ability to keep things strictly sexual, however, who knows about the others. Not to mention , doing this would make me the biggest piece of shit in history and could ruin lives and friendships. Regardless, I’m ashamed to say I am strongly considering it.
submitted by throwawizayyay to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:50 ancientdragons05 Women empowerment BS

have you guys noticed this show was all good and suddenly started pushing this woke women politics inside..
Currently in season 4. It was very obvious in season 3..
Like Lopez and nyla conversations.. And Lopez after pregnancy scenarios..
Like if you want to show empowerment show properly man., 1 time they show empowerment bs And next thing she says Wesley bought the fridge for the break room which also technically means I bought it 😏..
Slightly starting to hate this show for this kinda scenes
submitted by ancientdragons05 to TheRookie [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:50 teamblt05 19[M4F] trying to figure out dating still.

Hi, I'm a 19 year old dude from california trying to figure out life. I'm a pretty nerdy person usually playing video games in my free time or watching anime or youtube. Some of my favorite games are metroid and assassins creed. Some hobbies I like are reading (mainly books by rick riordan) and building things like figurines. I like listening to music whenever I work, some of my favorite bands are imagine dragons, fallout boys, and skillet. As you may tell from my post I'm a bit too honest about everything and dont really like to lie about stuff. Also a quick let down is that I hate peanut butter. When it comes to dating I'm a bit new at it. I never really had a crush before and hadn't really seen the point in dating through out most my life so I'm hoping someone out there can help change my view about it.
I'm a very optimistic person and always laughing ( some people think a little to much). I like to see life as collecting the good moments.
submitted by teamblt05 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


Before revealing the secrets of ‘how to start your own business?’, let me ask you some questions real quick –
  1. Are you thinking of starting your own business and then taking it online, but don’t know where to start from?
  2. You’re exhilarated to jump into the market with your products/services, without knowing the pros & cons of starting your own small business?
  3. You want to take your business online to grow it but lack knowledge of the Internet.
  4. You have no marketing strategies to elevate your small business to the international level.
If the answer to all of the above questions is ‘Yes’, you’ve come to the right place!
If you often wonder how to start your own small business online, Here, you’ll learn the simple yet major steps to start your own business, the steps which were followed by business tycoons. And you’ll also get to know if starting a business will work for you or not.

How to Start Your Own Business?

  1. First thing first – Come up with a good business Idea!
Learn from successful businesses and think of a good business idea first. An idea that can help you build a product or service that solves the problem, fulfills the need of not only local consumers’ but also global consumers.
Do researches before jumping into anything.
Not just a business idea but a good business idea is really important to stay & grow in the market and make profits because according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor, 25% of the new businesses startups don’t survive the first year, 31% drops out in the second, and only 50% of businesses make it to the third year in the market.
So, whether you’re setting up a business following your passion, or just to earn more money, you need to find & follow the right business idea and growth strategy so that you can launch your business online to make your brand recognized internationally.
Below are mentioned some easy startup ideas you can start with low investment-
  1. Do research on your business idea
Once you finalize your small business idea, it’s time to take the next step which is to see if your business idea is worth shooting.
For this, you can trust market research. Ensure to analyze your competitive businesses before starting your own business. Market research will help you to –
Important market research factors –
Search and pinpoint your target audience by studying the beneficiaries of your products or services. You should also consider the factors like age group, location, etc.
Once you come to know who your target audiences are, you can start surveys and talk to people directly to engage them. You can use any social media platform to engage with your audience. Social media is the perfect place to engage with your audience.
When you start your own business. Analysation of competitors’ products or services gives you a glance at the strategies and performance for you to find faults and improve your small business ideas accordingly.
  1. Form a good Business Plan
By making a business plan, you’re setting your current and future business goals. You can take notes from other successful businesses on how they do their business planning. By making a plan, you can make the required arrangements to give direction to your company.
A business plan is important because it helps you make efficient decisions for your business, to accomplish your goals by implying the best strategies.
Making a good business plan helps you also with-
  1. It’s Time To Make Your Business Official
Since you were working hard to finalize your business idea by doing market research, you must’ve found the answer to the most important question – What small business shall I start?
Once you decided on your niche and make the necessary preparations, it’s time to take your strategy to the next level and make your small business OFFICIAL.
To start your own business officially, or to make your small business official, the following points might help you –
These steps will help you to make a patent of your brand so that no one else can use your brand name.
When all these formalities are completed and your business is official, you can set up a small office for the physical and an online presence.
  1. Arrange Funds
How to start a business with no money?” Has this thought ever struck your mind? Well, it’s true that some businesses don’t need many investments but if you want to start your own business and make your brand recognized and popular in the market, you might need funding because funding is fuel to business growth.
Here, read some tips to get the funding for your business to maintain your hold in the market.
“From where I can get funds for business easily?”
BONUS: If you’re wondering “what business I can start with no money?”
Here is a short and effective business ideas list to help you out to start your own business with literally no money!
  1. Grow Your Business
Without building your small business up, you can never grow your wallet as well as your company. For which you’ll need time, money, hard work, and a good marketing plan to grow your business.
For centuries, The most common question of small business owners is “How do I grow my business?”
Before the internet, I might tell you several complicated different options or strategies to imply your business and pray for it to grow.
But in today’s time, traditional methods only work if you want to limit your business, Where the internet is a blessing for everyone, I can tell you a simple secret to grow your business not only locally but globally! Let’s sum up the solution in 2 words – Digital marketing!
Yes, simple yet powerful. To build your business, your brand needs a website and social media presence.
Feel free to contact us to discuss the marketing hacks and strategies to grow your business with Digital Marketing.
Moreover, if you want to add employees to your team, hire the best people who will support your tasks and lead you to your business goals.
Now, we’ll discuss the pros and cons of starting a business, to find out if it’s for you or not.



If you want to know about Google my business listings for your small business growth, this article might help you –
Google may monetize Google My Business Listings
Comment down your query and Q’s, or you can also contact us. We would love to hear from you!
Now, what’s next? You let us know in the comment section below.
Source: customized website development, best web designer company, affordable web development, affordable web development agency, web developer service, web designing solutions
submitted by zaclabtech to u/zaclabtech [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:48 Electrical_Clerk_665 Letting go of resentment 27M

I've been bottling up my feelings about my mother for as long as I can remember, but today I’ll try to let some of it go.
Growing up with a single mother and an older sister, my early years were pretty great. Despite my mom barely graduating high school, she always provided for us, and our involvement in the Jehovah's Witnesses congregation provided additional support.
Everything changed after a trip to California.
When we got back, my mom spiraled into heavy drinking, which had been an ongoing struggle for her since before I was born. She had gone through things before I was born that I don’t think she ever had the chance to deal with in a healthy way.
My older sister eventually moved away, leaving me alone with my mom. We stopped going to the congregation, and my mom lost her job.
For nearly two years, we hopped between different houses, with me sharing a room with her. I vividly recall trying to be a carefree child, playing video games, while she drank in front of me. I always believed it was my fault and that I had to be a better son.
Though we eventually found a new place, her drinking got worse, resulting in multiple hospital visits. I even had to drive her to the hospital myself when I was in 7th grade. That memory will forever be etched in my mind.
Eventually not long after I confronted her about her actions and, for two months, ignored her while we still lived together. At that point I was already cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry because I couldn’t count on her to do it for me all the time. We eventually got back on good terms when she finally quit drinking, but the love I once had for her was never quite the same.
In 2016, she suffered a major stroke from the years of alcohol abuse and poor health choices, leaving her disabled for the rest of her life. Today, she's just a shadow of her former self.
Now, I see my mother as a flawed human being who was doing her best, but I can't deny the resentment that lingers within me from those years of hell and the negative patterns I acquired during that time.
Even now, when I talk to her on the phone and hear her slurred voice due to the stroke, it takes me back to all those moments when she was drunk, and I wondered if she would be okay and when it would all end. I'm doing my best to let go of this resentment. It's not easy, but I believe that by acknowledging my feelings and sharing my story, I'm taking a step toward healing.
If anyone else has been through a similar experience or has any advice, I would appreciate your thoughts.
submitted by Electrical_Clerk_665 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:48 pplovesk A rather amusing theory about Bleaching that popped up on my YouTube feed


Main topic : “The mechanics/methodology behind the Bleaching Phenomena”

Summary :

PS. OP is planning to release their next video covering the topic "Tree of Emptiness" around August.
submitted by pplovesk to grandorder [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:47 Indiangernalist Assessing and Improving Food Processing Plant Layout and Design: The Role of a Food Processing Consultant

Assessing and Improving Food Processing Plant Layout and Design: The Role of a Food Processing Consultant


food processing plant
The layout and design of a food processing plant significantly impact its efficiency, productivity, and overall success. Food processing consultants bring their expertise to assist companies in assessing and improving the layout and design of these facilities. By optimizing the flow of materials, equipment placement, and workspace utilization, food processing consultants contribute to creating streamlined and safe operations. In this article, we will explore the importance of assessing and improving food processing plant layout and design and how food consultant play a crucial role in this process.

Maximizing Efficiency:

Efficiency is paramount in food processing plants to meet production targets and reduce costs. Food processing consultants analyze the existing layout and design to identify bottlenecks, inefficient workflows, and areas of waste. They then propose layout modifications that streamline the movement of raw materials, equipment, and personnel, minimizing unnecessary steps and reducing production time. By maximizing efficiency, companies can achieve higher output levels and optimize their resources.

Ensuring Food Safety:

Food safety is a top priority in any food processing facility. The layout and design of the plant can significantly impact food safety protocols. Food processing consultants assess the current layout to identify potential hazards such as cross-contamination risks, inefficient segregation of processing areas, or inadequate storage facilities. They provide recommendations for improving the flow of materials, implementing proper zoning for different processing stages, and enhancing hygiene practices. These measures minimize the risk of foodborne illnesses and ensure compliance with food safety regulations.

Enhancing Workflow and Ergonomics:

An effective plant layout considers the ergonomics and well-being of workers. Food processing consultants assess the placement of equipment, workstations, and amenities to optimize workflow and minimize physical strain on employees. By designing workspaces that promote safety, comfort, and productivity, consultants help reduce the risk of workplace injuries and enhance employee satisfaction. Improved ergonomics also lead to increased efficiency and lower staff turnover.

Scaling and Flexibility:

Food processing plants need to adapt to changing market demands and accommodate future growth. Food processing consultants evaluate the current layout and design to assess its scalability and flexibility. They propose modifications that allow for easy expansion, rearrangement of production lines, and the integration of new equipment. This foresight ensures that the plant can meet future production requirements and maintain its competitive edge.

Regulatory Compliance:

The layout and design of a food processing plant must comply with local and international regulatory standards. Food processing consultants possess in-depth knowledge of these regulations and ensure that the plant's layout adheres to them. They assess the facility for compliance with regulations related to zoning, sanitary requirements, ventilation, waste management, and accessibility. By working closely with regulatory authorities, consultants help companies avoid penalties, fines, and disruptions to their operations.


The layout and design of a food processing plant have a significant impact on its efficiency, productivity, safety, and compliance. Food product development offer valuable expertise in assessing and improving plant layout, considering factors such as efficiency, food safety, workflow, scalability, and regulatory compliance. By optimizing the plant's design, companies can achieve higher productivity, enhance employee well-being, meet regulatory requirements, and position themselves for future growth. Food processing consultants play a vital role in guiding businesses through this assessment and improvement process, contributing to the success and sustainability of food processing operations.
submitted by Indiangernalist to u/Indiangernalist [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:47 ApplicationSweaty798 Pregnancy loneliness

Just venting but being man pregnancy really amplifies loneliness. I’ve been dealing with extreme loneliness pretty much since the pandemic because I moved thousands of miles away from where I was born and raised and never was able to make friends where I currently live. My husband is an OTR trucker who is thankfully home on the weekends, but I’m still alone most of the week and don’t have really a community or much of a support system close to me besides his family(we live in his hometown). I have a very small, broken family and I’m also grieving that because I’m seeing other women’s families be so supportive and helpful and I won’t have that. My mom is sick and elderly and can’t really help much, my sister won’t speak to me, hasn’t for years regardless of me trying to reach out and doesn’t care about the pregnancy at all(she struggles with substance abuse issues and ghosted my wedding last year), I haven’t spoken to my dad since I was a kid and don’t know any of his family and my grandparents are dead and I have no other extended family, it’s just my mom and her boyfriend and my one uncle that live thousands of miles away. My husband has a large very loving family but his sister happens to also be pregnant at the exact same time as me(complete coincidence, we’re both FTM and both having the first generation of grandchildren) and she’s very much the priority, which is understandable. They’ve been helpful towards me and very loving so I don’t want to complain but it’s just how I feel. I lost my job and finding another job while visibly pregnant has been very hard. My other job didn’t really help me find friends or community and I have no friends where I live so I’m just alone. Right now my husband is at his sisters baby showeengagement party in another state and I’m back home babysitting our pets because we didn’t have the money to fly us both out and board our animals so I offered to stay home. I probably won’t even have a baby shower cause my friends and family are too poor to afford plane tickets and be expected to gift me anything and no one has offered to help me plan one anyway. I know things will get better and I’ve tried to make myself busy with projects and getting out the house to occupy my time but the loneliness still creeps up. I am excited to be pregnant and don’t regret it at all but I really wish I could have a “village” to help or just keep me company and since I don’t it makes anticipating things scary and isolating.
submitted by ApplicationSweaty798 to pregnant [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:47 Watskey Kind of sad to have to buy another suppressor in order to get a the same suppressor I bought last year from Silencer shop that is still DOA.

Whom ever is thinking on purchasing a suppressor through Silencer shop's dealers or any "LGS" keep regularly contact with them. Over the last year I have purchased and tried to transfer a Omega 9k suppressor only for it to be farther away then any point in the transaction. My mistake was buying it and forgetting about it until my form 4 approval email reminding me about it. during that time nine months passed which was the going average the eform 4's and my Local Silencer shop decided to move to a neighboring state 2 months prior.
By moving my, LGS FUBAR'ed everything to the n'th degree. Normally if a SOT moves between states they have to notify the ATF if the have any pending forms 4 but does have to include pending form 4 for suppressors if moving to another state that allows suppressor. Which is what he did. In the end, he was allowed to transfer to another state and void my form 4 after waiting 7 Months.
Currently, I have a form 4 approved but have to wait for my A-hole of dealer who doesn't even care if I get my suppressor to void my form 4 through the ATF and then get a form 3 to send it back to Silencer shop which in Turn has to do another form 3 to another dealer to even get started on another form 4. FUBAR.
Through out all this Silencer shop has been zero help. Absolute "ZERO HELP". Purchased through their website, used their dealer only to be told to contact the ATF. Yet to added salt to the wound I can purchased another suppressor of the same make from them and have it be cheaper and before I have the first one.
So if you are planning to purchase anything from silencer shop or a nfa item, keep on your dealers to reduce such problems like mine.
submitted by Watskey to SilencerShop [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:47 One_Company_3332 May move in with GF who's parents own her property. What am I in for?

I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post this so forgive me and tell me where to go if it is not.
My girlfriend and I have been talking about moving in together. We live in Southeastern, PA just outside of Philly. It's just talk now and we're not planning on doing this any time soon (i.e., not within the next year) but I've been thinking about the financial and legal complications it might bring because of our circumstances. I'm just trying to plan ahead. Any advice would be appreciated. So, here's the situation:
I currently live in a condo that is in my name and I've been paying the mortgage on for 8 years since I moved in. My girlfriend lives alone in a bigger townhouse about an hour from me. Her parents own the property and bought it for her when she became legally disabled and could no longer work outside the house with the idea that she'd never have to worry about housing. We've talked about a lot of hypotheticals - she could move in with me (but my condo is way too small for two people and three cats between us), we could buy a place near me since I work at a local university (but financially, we'd never be able to afford something bigger than my current condo on one income and her disability payments), I move into her townhouse and commute to work.
The last option seems to be the most realistic and we've talked about that. I'm not sure what to do though. Since I bought my condo, I've never seen myself living somewhere where I was a "tenant" again. We've talked about getting lawyers involved to create a cohabitation agreement before we would do this. Her father, who owns her townhouse, is her lawyer which I thought would be worth mentioning. I'd have my own representation separate from him in this scenario, of course.
Has anyone ever dealt with this sort of scenario? If so, what am I missing or not thinking of?
I've also thought about keeping my condo as a rental/investment property if I do move into her condo. I've never have a property like that so any advice on how that works or what I'd need to know would also be appreciated.
I just want to be prepared if and when the time comes. Thanks!
submitted by One_Company_3332 to RealEstate [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:47 bartoc4 Is this abuse?

Hi everyone. This is going to be a long post so I apologize in advance. My boyfriend and I are frequently having heated arguments that are escalating quickly. We have one year old twins with another on the way and I don't know what to think or do. My brain feels like a jumbled mess.
To help explain what is going I'm going to provide the most recent example of our fight from earlier today. I will try to be as unbiased as possible and explain my wrongdoings as well. I'm not sure if I'm the problem (or at least part of it), and I genuinely want and need help/advice.
Earlier this morning I was taking care of the boys when I got violently ill (morning sickness - but reallllllly bad). I couldn't keep anything down and was sticky all over with sweat, and I kept feeling dizzy.
Because of this I took a nap during the twins nap once I got them to sleep. The twins woke up before I did, and my boyfriend brought them downstairs. When I woke up I asked my boyfriend what time the boys woke up from their nap, and he answered "2pm" (which means they'd be due to go to bed at around 6pm). My boyfriend works from home and he went to the basement to work. I was taking care of the babies and playing with them until about 4 30. Then I set them up with some toys and turned or my laptop to study (I'm currently in college).
My boyfriend came upstairs about 15 minutes later (4 45) saying that the boys needed to go to bed and that they had been up since 1. I was confused and said "you told me 2pm earlier", to which he replied that he did NOT say that and he said 1pm (maybe I misheard him I honestly don't know or if he is just making it up for some reason, but why would he do that?). Anyway, I said "OK, I will get them ready in a moment." I finished the page I was reading so I didn't lose my train of though with my studies, and then I started to get the boys ready for bed.
Unfortunately I was anticipating having a whole extra hour, and was now needing to rush. I made the boys dinner and got them fed (by this time it was after 5), and then I went upstairs to grab them some pajamas. On my way back I had to make another stop to the washroom as I started getting sick again. I'm not sure how long it lasted for because I didn't check the time again until HOURS later (after the fight was already over).
Anyway, after getting sick I was changing the babies diapers and putting them in their pj's. The one took my phone out of my pocket and freaked out when I took it away from him, and then started flailing around screaming and wouldn't let me get a fresh diaper on him. I felt like I was about to puke and broke out in a sweat, and in what was certainly not my finest moment I yelled out "STOP MOVING AROUND!".
My boyfriend ran up the stairs and snatched the child away from me and instantly accused me of shaking him (I never would), and said the baby was acting like an abused child (he was rubbing his face into the pillow - but he does this when he is tired). My boyfriend then started on me about not having the boys in bed yet and "look what you're doing to them".
I have REALLY bad anxiety and post partum depression (I'm seeing a therapist bi-weekly to work on it and i'm also taking medication), and my boyfriends attitude and the energy he was projecting just instantly put me right on edge. I tried to explain to him that I was overwhelmed, exhausted and sick, and that I was doing the very best I could, but that I was getting ill and I thought I had more time before they were due for bed. He wouldn't listen to anything and just kept cutting me off and talking over me going in circles about my abusive and neglectful behavior and going on and on and on and on and onnnnnnn about how I didn't have the boys in bed on time yet.
At this point I felt my brain starting to break. I told him he was giving me an anxiety attack to which he replied "every time I give you the tiniest bit of advice you have an "anxiety attack"." I just felt so unheard and unloved. Meanwhile the baby was STILL screaming this entire time (and my boyfriend was yelling this entire time too and I think I was too trying to get him to hear me). He said "look what I get to deal with - you just make more and more work for me".
At this point I was feeling totally overwhelmed with emotions and was having really bad negative thoughts that my family might actually be better off without me. I went upstairs to get away and left him downstairs with the kids. He followed me upstairs with the crying baby and stood over me with the baby while I was crying hysterically and the baby was crying hysterically and he was saying "look what you're doing to our child!". I begged him to leave because I didn't want the baby to see me like that, but he wouldn't.
So once again I tried to leave. I exited the room and he was hot on my tail. I was so frustrated I knocked the first thing off the counter that I walked past (apparently it was his speaker which he claims is now broken). He then started freaking out even more because I broke his things, and I then threw my phone on the ground and also kicked a stool (the leg of the plastic stool broke when I did this, and he freaked out ever more).
At this point I felt so uncontrollable that I was lying on the ground sobbing just begging him to leave me alone and stop yelling at me and to give me some space. But he wouldn't. And he KEPT going on. I reminded him I was pregnant and that none of this was good for me or baby, and he said "oh who cares, you act like this even when you aren't pregnant. I am going to tell you what I think and feel."
I can't explain how low I felt. These were the thoughts running through my head: I'm an abusive mother, I'm a bad partner, my family would be better off without me, I create more work for my partner, I'm permanently broken, I'm a BAD mom, maybe an abortion would be best.
All of these thoughts were swimming in my head and I told my boyfriend I was having really dark intrusive thoughts and I kept picturing stabbing myself. I don't even remember what his response was, but it must not have been helpful because the next thing I did was grab my anxiety medication and I put the whole bottle in my mouth. My boyfriend shoved his fingers down my throat and made me puke everything up.
Then I went to the bathroom and laid on the ground and was so upset I started banging my head on the floor. He claims he grabbed me by the hood of my sweater and that a few hairs got caught. But it felt like he grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me up with so much force that i went from laying to standing. I bit him on the shoulder and told him to leave me alone.
Then he said he was going to call the police on me on started telling me how abusive I was (its not the first time I've been physical with him like that - but the situations leading up to it were all very similar to today. I've never been violent with other people before....). My panic attack continued to the kitchen floor where I was still sobbing and hyperventilating. At this point my best friend and roommate of over a decade came home, and he instantly asked me if I was okay. Rafael started telling him his one sided story of me being an abuser and showing the bite mark to my friend.
My friend took me outside and sat me down and started helping me to do breathing exercises. Meanwhile my boyfriend kept coming outside and saying he was going to call the cops. My friend got him to agree to wait 20 minutes before doing anything - but the entire time my boyfriend was outside yelling a mile per minute at me.
After the 20 minutes was over he told me I had two options - I could go to the hospital with him in his car or I could sit outside on the front lawn and wait for an ambulance to get me. I told him I was not leaving (my friend was with me now and had calmed me down from crisis mode). So my boyfriend called the cops (non emergency number).
While he was on the phone with them I looked at him and told him very seriously that our relationship was over. That there was no coming back from this. He then promptly started trying to persuade the person on the phone that everything was okay, and then hung up.
Once he was off the phone he tried to pick the argument back up, and I replied that I was taking a bath and that I did not wish to speak to him. I went into the bathroom and he forced the door open behind me and sat on the toilet yelling and continuing to go on about everything. I closed the curtain and he kept opening it to which I replied " I am not your girlfriend anymore, and I do not wish for you to see me named. At this point he told me he had videos of me having the anxiety attack and that he was going to call the cops back. I said "whatever, I'm taking my bath" and ignored him.
About 5 minutes later I hear him on the phone with them AGAIN. I hear the man on the other line say they are sending people over. I said loud enough to the man on the phone could hear "I am fine sir!" Then my boyfriend started flipping out again to the point that the man on the line told him to stop escalating the situation (I was being totally calm at this point).
For some reason my boyfriend once again decided to convince the person on the phone that everything is okay and he once again hung up. Afterwards he didn't say anything, but he stood outside the open bathroom door for 20 minutes before returning to the basement to work again.
A couple hours later he asked if I was okay and I said "no". Now it is after midnight and he is sitting next to me showing me the occasional funny video acting like nothing happened or something???
What do I do? We have children!! I want what's best for them. I've told him so many times that I need to be treated with love when that's happening, but he seems to think it's a manipulation tactic (he has downright said that I cry just to try to make him feel bad). I don't know how to communicate with him and he won't do therapy with me. I am all fucked up and I know this, but he has issues too... how can things get better if he refused to admit that? My friend calmed me down in 10 minutes. They reminded me I was loved and cared for, and helped me breathe.
My boyfriend says I don't listen to him... but I heard EVERYTHING. He is upset that I yelled with the baby (totally understandable it was completely inappropriate, but he HAS had his moments too), and he was upset about the babies being late for bed, he was upset that I was "crazy" during my panic attack, and he was upset about the bite. But all I was trying to communicate was that I am totally overwhelmed, sick and feeling unheard, unloved and not needed, and that I am doing the best I can... I don't think he heard any of those things...
Sorry for venting so much and for the post being so long. Any thoughts are welcomed....
submitted by bartoc4 to ToxicRelationships [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:46 RyderHammer NEVER, pick up the phone for a number you don't know...

Alright, I don't have much time, I am currently hiding in a cramped-up closet. I can hear it moving outside my room. You're most likely wondering how I got here, or why I don't have time. Well here is my story. One sunny California day, I was sitting on my lumpy couch with a new phone I had just bought. It had all the important apps I would spend most of my days on (Youtube, Tiktok, etc.) But I was too lazy to insert a SIM card into my phone. I was checking some Youtube, then over to TikTok repeat like what I always do. Eventually, I decided to put the SIM card into my phone so I can add my parents' numbers and my friends as well. I glance over to the counter where I had left the SIM and lazily get up from the couch as its leather detaches from my skin.
It's only a few steps from the couch but for some reason, it felt longer, maybe it was my laziness or tiredness but it felt as if you were walking up a never-ending staircase. Eventually, I reached the marble counter, but instead of the SIM card being there, there was nothing! "Must have misplaced it?" I thought, trying to come up with a reason. I closed my eyes for a long blink before jogging over to my closet, things always got lost in there. For some reason though, I couldn't shake off the feeling of being watched.
As I was miles deep into the pile of clothes I heard, a few steps away from me *BUZZZZ\* The very distinct sound of my phone ringing "Must be my imagination" I murmured. My entire body was covered by this point. Then I hear the same sound again, then again, then again. Eventually, I get fed up with the ringing and burst out of the sea of clothes. And trudge over to my still-ringing phone.
"19 Missed Calls" it reads. "Odd" I blurted out loudly. I pick up my phone with a sense of urgency. *BUZZZZ\* Another call rings in. I've seen enough horror movies to know to not pick up the phone. *RING\* It goes, I had got a text, "Let me in!" It read. I looked at my phone in fear, I have no idea why, but still, it sent chills down my spine. Just then an Amber Alert set off in my phone "Masked killer seems to be stalking around (they said my neighbourhood)" it read. I almost screamed. But I managed to stay calm and ran into my bedroom.
I ran so fast I almost knocked down a picture of my mom- we had just had her funeral last Tuesday. When I got into my room I closed my window and locked my door. *BUZZZZ\* my phone went, I decided to be a man and answered it, and all I could hear was low breathing, then another Amber Alert "Masked killer has been sighted outside of (they said my address)" My heart pounded, I ran into the closet I am in now, and here is where my story resumes, "Honey, come out now" A familiar voice says outside, another Amber Alert rings on my phone "Masked killer can replicate voices, STAY AWAY" it reads. I remember the voice now, it's my mom's. "Honey, it is ok" My mom repeats. I have to open the door now, goodbye. My mom is home...
submitted by RyderHammer to creekyhours [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:46 Ok-Consideration1608 questions about vce -from a yr 10

TLDR: hi, i'm in year 10 currently worried about year 11- idk if i should do bisman 3/4 next year, i haven't done the 1/2 so idk if that's something to worry about.
bisman: my school allows students to do 5 subjects in yr 12, including compulsory english and religion as a sixth subject (which doesn't even count towards our atar smh). so doing bisman early might help..? pissed we get less subject options. my grades are in a-a+ range for the elective, like 84-100%, but worried i'll do bad in it if i do it early. i looked at the past exam on the vcaa website and god that scared me lol. i'm not super smart, but i think i could get a decent study score since i put a lot of work into it, but im worried it'll distract from my other 1/2's next year.
lit: my lit teacher and head of english recommended me to do unit 1/2 for lit now. my school rarely allows anyone doing english subjects early, though i declined since it's my first year doing it as an elective + worried i'll do lit super hard for yr 12? i'm pretty passionate about english so i think it's not hard, my teacher gives me yr 11 work and corrects my work according to vce standard. it doesn't seem bad, but not sure if it gets marginally more difficult by year 12.
chinese: my biggest problem is deciding which chinese to choose, and i need to choose in less than a month. my chinese class is super small, and everyone's super good at it, in comparison i don't seem as good but i don't know how i measure to the rest of vic. (B-A average, occasional A+ on tests). not sure whether to do chinese second language or culture and society, second language scales up a lot so im leaning towards that but its super competitive and time consuming, whereas culture has english essays in it apparently so that's a plus for me though not as high scaling.(my schools apparently pioneers at culture so my teachers are trying to bait me into it since they got told i could do eng pretty well. and they might make the whole class (like 5 ppl minus background students) do culture since we'll probs get 40+ study scores in it (idk abt me though lol).
btw i dont do tutoring or anything so i try to study by myself or ask past pupils and friends around me for help (its a program at my school). also doing absolutely no maths/science subjects for vce cause i suck ass at it, like D+'s lol.
all the subjects im passionate about are the ones im planning to do for vce:
-english (A+ average)
-lit (A+ average)
-visual art (A+ average)
-vis comm ( A+ average)
-chinese (A average)
-maybe bisman (A average)
any tips for vce? how much u should study, etc? if my future atar's looking alright? thankyou! :)
submitted by Ok-Consideration1608 to vce [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:46 sohaibshaheen0 Ajman Free Zone: Empowering SMEs with Cost-Effective Solutions

Discover the Advantages of Choosing Ajman Free Zone for Your Business: Ajman Free Zone stands out as a leading free zone in the UAE, offering unique benefits for entrepreneurs and business owners. With its state-of-the-art international airport and recently completed USD 25 million marina project, Ajman has emerged as a thriving hub for international commerce. Here are compelling reasons why establishing your business in Ajman Free Zone could be the ideal choice for you:
  1. Flexible Visa Options: Ajman Free Zone provides tailored packages to meet diverse visa requirements. Whether you're a first-time entrepreneur or an established business, you can choose from executive office packages allowing up to 5 visas or smart office packages accommodating up to 3 visas.
  2. Cost-Effective Solution: Known for its affordability, Ajman Free Zone is particularly attractive to small and medium-sized enterprises aiming to optimize their budgets. License packages start at AED 11,000 to AED 32,000 for 5 visas.
  3. Streamlined Registration: Ajman Free Zone ensures a hassle-free registration process. After signing company documents in front of authorities, the remaining steps can be conveniently managed remotely. Typically, your company can be set up within as little as two days.
  4. No NOC Requirement: Ajman Free Zone eliminates the need for entrepreneurs to provide a No Objection Certificate (NOC) from their current employer. This makes it an appealing option for individuals seeking to establish a side business while maintaining employment.
  5. Diverse Business Opportunities: Ajman Free Zone welcomes a wide range of industries and enterprises, including a dedicated e-commerce license. This fosters collaboration and networking opportunities among entrepreneurs.
  6. Low Entry Barriers: Ajman Free Zone imposes no paid-up share capital requirement for company setup, and ongoing auditing or bookkeeping obligations are absent, making it easier for businesses to enter the market.
  7. Simplified Banking Process: The staff at Ajman Free Zone provides assistance in opening corporate bank accounts within the zone and offers guidance throughout the application process.
  8. Convenient Sponsorship for Dependents: Ajman Free Zone facilitates quick and straightforward visa issuance. Businessmen who meet the salary and savings requirements can sponsor visa applications for their dependents.
  9. Global Presence: With offices in Dubai, Russia, Pakistan, India, and the UK, Ajman Free Zone maintains an international presence, further enhancing its status as a truly global free zone.
In summary, Ajman Free Zone offers a multitude of benefits to entrepreneurs and business owners, including visa flexibility, affordability, simplified registration, no NOC requirements, diverse business opportunities, low entry barriers, streamlined banking procedures, convenient sponsorship for dependents, and an expansive international network.
submitted by sohaibshaheen0 to u/sohaibshaheen0 [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:45 atof45456 Idea for the next mirage

This game has many interesting items, impressive characters, and a great art style but I still find it lacking in challenge, I suggest that the game should raise the difficulty level by limiting the player's resources and putting more challenges, for example:
  1. Reduce the player's base max health by 50, if the base max health is =< 50 then don’t change it
  2. Monsters from different biomes will appear randomly
  3. The maximum amount of gold is 500 - 600
  4. The number of rolls is limited to 1 times per level but Peddler sells 1 more item
  5. The amount of gold in the draw & deposit machine -50%
  6. You can't receive hp from potions or any other items but you can heal 1 HP every 1-10 seconds depending on your regeneration stats (add health and armor regeneration stat)
  7. Limit the number of items used is 7, in imba mode is 25
  8. Max HP = 300
  9. Drinks have no effect, you can’t bring any items from the garden
  10. Hidden bosses or champions always appear at the end of each level
  11. Bosses have 1 projection bar like Universelove and Asurendra phase 3
submitted by atof45456 to OtherworldLegends [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:45 AutoModerator Where Can I Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Online Free on Reddit

‘Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse’ is finally here. Find how to watch The Marvel film Spider-Verse 2 online for free. Sony Pictures! Here are options for downloading or watching Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit, including where to watch marvel's latest live-action adaptation movies at home. Is Spider-Verse 2 available to stream? Is watching Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse on Peacock, Disney Plus, HBO Max, Netflix or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service.
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If you’re like just about everyone else on the planet who saw Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse in 2018 and loved it, you’ve probably been waiting for the sequel. You won’t be waiting long, as Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is finally coming out.
After a grueling five-year-long wait, Marvel fans everywhere will finally be able to return to the animated multiverse with Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. The upcoming sequel's predecessor requires no explanation, as Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse not only ensnared audiences and critics alike but also caught a prestigious Oscar win with a Best Animated Feature award. With "New York's one and only Spider-Man," Miles Morales (Shameik Moore), now becoming a household name, fans of the first film eagerly awaited the day they could see young Miles swing into the Spider-Verse again.
Where To Watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Online:
As of now, the only way to watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is to head out to a movie theater when it premieres on June 2, 2023. You can find a local showing on Fandango.
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Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Amazon, Vudu, YouTube or Apple, or become available to stream on Disney+.

Is Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse coming to Netflix?

Yes, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is coming to Netflix approximately in December 2023.
In 2021, Sony and Netflix signed a five-year deal that gave the latter exclusive first-pay-window U.S. streaming rights for Sony Pictures titles after their theatrical and home entertainment windows. Fans can expect to watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse on Netflix six months after the film’s theatrical release, thus in December 2023. The date seems reasonable considering that Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse dropped on Netflix on June 26, 2019, six months after its U.S. release on December 14, 2018. The pay-one window usually begins about nine months after a film’s theatrical release, but it might start earlier in particular cases.
This post will be updated once there is a 100% officially confirmed Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Netflix release date.

When Will Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse Be Available On Netflix?

Regarding when the film will be available on Netflix, the answer is less definitive. The first film, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, began streaming six months after its theatrical release. Based on this, it is safe to assume Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will see a similar gap between its cinematic and streaming releases. Given the film's theatrical release of June 2, 2023, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will likely begin streaming on Netflix in December 2023.
This tracks with some of Sony's bigger releases of 2022. Films like Uncharted and Bullet Train were released on Netflix six and five months respectively after their release in theaters. Of course, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse could have other elements that see it release before or after this tentative six-month period, such as underperforming or exceeding expectations at the box office. Although, based on Sony's track record - including that of the first film - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse can be expected on Netflix in the winter of 2023, likely December for a holiday release.

Is Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse coming to Disney Plus?

Yes, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is also coming to Disney Plus approximately in 2025.
Once the pay-one window runs its time and Netflix’s exclusive rights expire, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will be available on Disney Plus. The pay-one window might last as long as 18 months, which means it will be a while before Disney Plus subscribers can watch the much-anticipated sequel. Unlike in other countries, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse isn’t yet available on the Disney-owned streamer in the U.S.
American fans will have to wait until 2024 to watch Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and at least until 2025 for its sequel. We will update this post once there is an official Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Disney Plus release date.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse comes from a joint effort of directors Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, and Justin K. Thompson. The movie will swing into theaters on June 2, featuring the return of Shameik Moore as Miles Morales, Hailee Steinfeld as Gwen Stacy, and Jake Johnson as Peter B. Parker, among others.

Will Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Be On HBO Max?

No, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse will not be on HBO Max since it’s not a Universal Pictures movie. Last year, the company released its films in theaters and on the streamer on the same day. However, they now allow a 45-day window between the theatrical release and the streaming release.

Is Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Available On Hulu?

Viewers are saying that they want to view the new animation movie Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.

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There are a few ways to watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.
submitted by AutoModerator to SpiderAcrossVersehq [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 06:43 0210eojl Please be more careful

I’d like to preface this post by saying that I usually use my bike to get around, and I know that ideally in a world with better bike infrastructure that bikers would not have to take a lot of the precautions that they do/should currently.
I was just driving my sibling home from work and as I was making a lane change, a bike with no front lights came up on that same side, I stopped as I didn’t see her and she swerved a bit to avoid me, but didn’t have to. After this, she stopped in front of me and yelled that when I see a bike I have to stop (which I did). The problem is that it was late at night on a poorly lit road, there was no way for me to see a bike that did not have any lights on it. Additionally, being late in a big city, it is even more important to take these precautions with the amount of drunk drivers (I was not one).
I know that most of the time when a biker gets into an accident most of the blame can be placed on the car, and I should have checked more thoroughly, but biking with no lights is just so crazily unsafe.
submitted by 0210eojl to bikecommuting [link] [comments]