I see a lot of novelists on here, and lots of people, when giving advice, talking about publishing roadblocks to consider due to certain changes/additions/things the author wants to implement. From everything I've seen, traditional publishing companies are pretty scummy or at the very least take a massive profit margin and can be massively restrictive in a variety of ways. Additionally, I've heard they do not help with promotion, only distribution, and often book deals are hard to get anyway, unless you're already published or famous. And even if you do get a book deal, you now may have restrictions on what you can do with your own book and that they own some of the rights to the book.
I'm planning on self publishing my book through Barnes and noble (and maybe additionally Amazon for the ebook), and I'm curious why so many people are so committed to traditional publishing.

I am getting married in a small ceremony in Acadia National Park next year and was hoping to wear my natural curls. I was wondering if anyone on here lives near Bar Harbor, ME and has a salon or stylist they recommend that does bridal services!

My dad is trying to get his old MGB painted, but can't find anyone doing it anywhere near a reasonable price. Its so bad hes going to buy the gear and do it himself.
Now, he's awesome and will probably nail it, but I'd like to take a last stab and see if anyone knows anyone who can paint a car for a reasonable price. He's tried the Career Tech Center, all kinds of places, no luck.

So, I know this isn't strictly "home" improvement but I recently bought a farm house with an 80yo tobacco barn that needs a little TLC. I'm hoping I can get some input here since the methods used in a barn are similar to home building.
I'm in the process of replacing some joists and have an outer girt/board (I'm still getting used to the terms) over the runway that's partially rotted.
I'm pretty confident that it's not load bearing but wanted some outside input on the best way to replace the board.
The obvious choices I can see are:

1. Sister a good board on the inside of the existing board, cut out the rotted portion and replace it with a good board. Seems like the "easiest" but might be wasteful if the following would work...
   
2. Cut the existing board out starting at the center of one post and the center of the next post. Replace that entire section and reuse any good wood from the original board somewhere else. There are plenty of opportunities for this reuse.
   

My belief is that this board only exists to provide a place to nail down the siding and #2 would be the way to go.
Thoughts? Stones to throw?
Thanks in advance.
[After trying to post I found that I couldn't include pics. I'll post a link to some in a bit]
Link to pics https://www.dragonseye.com/photos/picture.php?/26063-20230610_113343/category/1132-barn

Panama clung to our bodies—Probably cut—Anything made this dream—It has consumed the customers of fossil orgasm—Ran into my old friend Jones—So badly off, forgotten, coughing in 1920 movie—Vaudeville voices hustle sick dawn breath on bed service—Idiot Mambo spattered backwards—I nearly suffocated trying on the boy’s breath—That’s Panama—Nitrous flesh swept out by your voice and end of receiving set—Brain eating birds patrol the low frequency brain waves—Post card waiting forgotten civilians ‘and they are all on jelly fish, Meester—Panama photo town—Dead post card of junk.’ Sad hand down backward time track—Genital pawn ticket peeled his stale underwear—Brief boy on screen laughing my skivvies all the way down—Whispers of dark street in Puerto Assis—Meester smiles through the village wastrel—Orgasm siphoned back telegram: ‘Johnny pants down.’—(That stale summer dawn smell in the garage—Vines twisting through steel—Bare feet in dog’s excrement.) Panama clung to our bodies from Las Palmas to David on camphor sweet smells of cooking paregoric—Burned down the republic—The druggist no glot clom Fliday—Panama mirrors of 1910 under seal in any drug store—He threw in the towel, morning light on cold coffee— Junk kept nagging me: ‘Lushed in East St. Louis, I knew you’d come scraping bone—Once a junky always spongy and rotten—I knew your life—Junk sick four days there.’ Stale breakfast table—Little cat smile—Pain and death smell of his sickness in the room with me—Three souvenir shots of Panama city—Old friend came and stayed all day—Face eaten by ‘I need more’—I have noticed this in the New World—‘You come with me, Meester?’ And Joselito moved in at Las Playas during the essentials—Stuck in this place—Iridescent lagoons, swamp delta, gas flares—Bubbles of coal gas still be saying ‘A ver, Luckees!’ a hundred years from now—A rotting teak wood balcony propped up by Ecuador. ‘The brujo began crooning a special case—It was like going under ether into the eyes of a shrunken head—Numb, covered with layers of cotton—Don’t know if you got my last hints trying to break out of this numb dizziness with Chinese characters—All I want is out of here—Hurry up please—Took possession of me—How many plots have made a botanical expedition like this before they could take place?—Scenic railways—I am dying cross wine dizziness—I was saying over and over “shifted commissions where the awning flaps” Flashes in front of my eyes your voice and end of the line.’ That whining Panama clung to our bodies—I went into Chico’s Bar on mouldy pawn ticket, waiting in 1920 movie for a rum coke—Nitrous flesh under this honky tonk swept out by your voice: ‘Driving Nails In My Coffin’—Brain eating birds patrol ‘Your Cheating Heart’—Dead post card waiting a place forgotten—Light concussion of 1920 movie—Casual adolescent had undergone special G.I. processing—Evening on the boy’s flesh naked—Kept trying to touch in sleep—‘Old photographer trick wait for Johnny—Here goes Mexican cemetery.’ On the sea wall met a boy with red and white striped T shirt—P.G. town in the purple twilight—The boy peeled off his stale underwear scraping erection—Warm rain on the iron roof—Under the ceiling fan stood naked on bed service—Bodies touched electric film, contact sparks tingled—Fan whiffs of young hard on washing adolescent T shirt—The blood smells drowned voices and end of the line—That’s Panama—Sad movie drifting in islands of rubbish, black lagoons and fish people waiting a place forgotten—Fossil honky tonk swept out by a ceiling fan—Old photographer trick tuned them out. ‘I am dying, Meester?’ Flashes in front of my eyes naked and sullen—Rotten dawn wind in sleep—Death rot on Panama photo where the awning flaps.

There are so many similarities between Harpocrates and Miquella that I’d find it hard to believe that FromSoftware didn’t take any inspiration from this god. So I decided to examine this deity to see if I could find anything interesting. All screenshots shown in this post in the Haligtree and Elphael were taken in-game without freecam, though many were in first-person with the FPS mod^[1], which was done to get a closer look at some of the symbols and iconography. I know not all of FromSoftware’s assets aren’t entirely original for dev purposes of course (Path of Exile assets reused for example) so I won’t be scrutinizing every symbol except for the more elaborate and relevant iconography.
Harpocrates is the Greek translation for “Horus The Child” (the Egyptian Hor-Pa-Khered)^[2], the famed Egyptian son of Isis and Osiris. In Plutarch’s (Greek philosopher) account of the couple, Isis “gave birth to Harpocrates, imperfect and premature…”, further described as “prematurely delivered and weak in his lower limbs”. To the Greeks, Harpocrates and Horus were not two separate deities, but “two degrees of evolution of the same god.” Very interestingly, Plutarch mentions Isis as “...the female principle of Nature, and is receptive of every form of generation, in accord with which she is called by Plato, the gentle nurse and the all-receptive…"
I believe we can make some parallels to Marika. Mention of generation and other female qualities bring to mind the role of an Empyrean, one who is capable of birthing new progeny as potential successors to the next age. The principle of Nature itself could be applied to the metaphysical laws of the Elden Ring in-game in my opinion.
Miquella was born malformed and is a savior figure for albinaurics and demi-humans who embarked on a pilgrimage to his Haligtree. Harpocrates was favored by the rich as a god of plenty, but was also loved by the masses. In Elphael we can see wheat, a symbol of abundance scattered throughout the area when exploring.
Harpocrates is commonly depicted standing or striding on an animal (such as a goose or a horse), with side locks^[3]. I was curious to see if Miquella is ever depicted with side locks but from the art of his kidnapping by Mohg and the teaser imager for the Shadow of the Erdtree, I’m not sure. The statues of Miquella at the Haligtree (by himself and with Malenia) don’t appear to depict him with any. It’s not really important, but it’d be cool if he did have them I feel. Miquella is shown in the dlc teaser riding Torrent so maybe his connection to our trusty steed was intentional by FromSoft if inspired by Harpocrates.
Terracotta figurines of Harpocrates often depict the young sun god emerging from a lotus flower, and according to this overview of a figurine, “The cornucopia, representing fertility and prosperity, is a Greek motif; however, the association of child-gods with agricultural bounty has Egyptian parallels as well."^[4] It’s interesting to me that the lotus flower is associated with Harpocrates, since we can immediately draw parallels between Malenia and her scarlet blooms. According to Plutarch, “...they portray the rising of the sun in this manner to indicate allegorically the enkindling of the sun from the waters.” when they speak of the sun rising as a new-born babe from the lotus. He is a god of the rising sun, represented seated on a lotus capsule.^[2]
In Egyptian mythology, the lotus is a symbol of life, the fecundative (fertile, or producing new offspring or growth) power of the Nile river, and was a source of food for not only Egypt, but the deltas of China and India (hence Brahma seated on a lotus) too. “By night it closes its leaves and submerges so deep under the water, that the hand cannot reach it. At dawn it directs itself eastwards to the light, and raises itself above the water and opens again.”^[5] Thus the lotus is a symbol for the birth and rebirth of the sun. “It is then one of the ways of introducing the dead to the divine life in the rebirth by the lotus, so that men after death can be reborn from the lotus as the gods.”^[5] From decay and death comes new life that bursts forth from the Scarlet Rot, and Malenia blooms as the goddess of rot at the roots of the Haligtree in a dramatic fashion.
Malenia’s name seems to mean “heir to the sun”^[6], which is very fitting seeing as the Golden Order’s gold has associations with it in my opinion.
“Shield of honor depicting a city crowned by the sun. It has seen better days. Much like the wear upon the shield, the Seat of the Sun is long faded away.” - Sun Realm Shield
These shields can be found from the beastmen skeletons in Farum Azula, though they are also found elsewhere in the Lands Between. Farum may very well have been the seat of the sun in ancient times. With Godrick also referring to a dragon as a “true-born heir”, I don’t feel the notion of the Greater Will being the sun is outlandish at all. We see a great light on the horizon while fighting the Elden Beast, and other celestial objects such as the moon are great powers in their own right.
He is depicted with his finger to his lips (a gesture to keep quiet about Sarapis being only human) and as such, was later called a god of silence. According to Plutarch though, the motion is actually little Harpocrates suckling his finger, as the motion in Egyptian means “eat” or “speak” and “Isis, in order to nourish him, puts the finger in his mouth instead of the breast.” Later depictions of Harpocrates as a deity of silence are Greaco-Roman, not Egyptian.^[5]
I didn't see a connection between Miquella and the later role of silence attributed to Harpocrates until I learned of the deity being associated with Mercury in the Renaissance-era. "The theme of silence is not just a Christian one: the association of wisdom with silence goes back to classical times, to writers such as Pindar, Euripides and Plutarch'."^[7] This is immediately significant, as not only have others put forward arguments of Miquella and Mercury in the alchemical sense, but Euripides' play The Bacchae in my opinion^[8], was the basis for the tragedy of Miquella, and the myths of Plutarch are a heavy focus in this post.
"During the Greek period, however, a mistaken interpretation of this gesture arose, namely that by it, Harpocrates commanded silence concerning divine mysteries. Renaissance mythographers and humanists accepted this explanation and Harpocrates appears as the god of silence in, amongst others, Gyraldus, Cartari and Valerian."^[7]
"Sometimes in Renaissance writing, the god Harpocrates was conflated with Hermes or Mercury, god of Eloquence, for a play on the rhetorical commonplace of eloquent silence."^[7]
As I have only recently stumbled upon this Renaissance-era connection, I will have to explore Mercury and the Cymbalum Mundi at a later time, since Plutarch's connections to sleep and dreams are another avenue I need to explore further in relation to Miquella, and putting both in this post would bloat it.
In Egypt, Horus the god was represented by a winged solar disc, symbol of the sun, which later gave rise to the cosmic “clipeus”, or world circle with its cosmocrater (ruler of the world) inside of it during Graeco-Roman times.^[5] Throughout Elphael and especially near the roots in the Haligtree, we find this symbol of two griffin-like figures underneath the Haligtree inside of a circle. It seems to me this visual was directly inspired by this depiction of Harpocrates inside of a solar disc (surrounded by an ouroboros), accompanied by two Agathodaemones, “noble spirits”, representing Isis and Osiris^[5]. Furthermore, in Elphael we can find more similar “noble spirits” depicted upside down. With this in mind, I’m comfortable with interpreting the symbol of the Haligtree over two Agathodaemones as Miquella, god of the world depicted inside, shown with his parents Radagon and Marika.
Very interesting that this imagery is seen when Miquella is inside his bloody cocoon. Note the pelvic bones that look similar to the “Agathodaemones” at the Haligtree, with the Empyrean literally inside of a new circle. In my last Miquella post arguing his tragedy mirrors The Bacchae^[8] , just as Pentheus’ gruesome demise seems a cosmic joke to Dionysus, Miquella’s aspirations of godhood have been turned on his head, becoming a literal surrogate to another god entirely. All of this symbolism at the Haligtree seems more thematic than indicative of some sort of convoluted plot by the Empyrean to let himself be Mohgnapped while having placed clues beforehand just for fun.
Later depictions of Harpocrates with Isis and Osiris according to El-Khachab^[5] seem to be Gnostic, “for in the mode of the Kabbalah, the two arms of God or the first cause, the infinite light, the Ensoph symbolize the second triad of the sephiroth, since the right arm is love, Chesed, and the left one is justice or strength, geburah. The former, Chesed, is the life-begetting principle, while the left arm represents might and from the union of the two comes tifereth, beauty or rather mercy, rachamzm, which is the eminent quality and principle of the Christian teaching,' and the assurance of the moral order of the world.”^[5]
“The first triad of the ten sephiroth, which are the qualities or the agencies serving as the media for the manifestations of God in the finite, represents Him as the Thinker of the universe. The second triad interprets Him as the moral power of the universe, and the third one represents the material universe;”^[5]
I’ve spoken of “Sophia” before in my Bacchae post, where I argued Sophia the archetype is present in-game as Marika, but also as the moral term; the self-knowledge of one’s place in the world, knowing the limits that compose human fate, and the assurance of moral order shown by El-Khachab relates to this idea, as the Order in-game is dictated by the Elden Ring. Every pistis Sophia (relating to the god) seems to have its own Horus, as shown in this image with the name Harpocrates at the bottom-left, only strengthening the notion that the Sophia and Harpocrates archetypes are represented in-game as Marika and Miquella in my opinion.
Back to Plutarch’s account of Isis and Osiris, I wonder if partial inspiration for the shadows in-game are from Isis finding the child of her deceased husband Osiris and sister Nephthys: “And when the child had been found, after great toil and trouble, with the help of dogs which led Isis to it, it was brought up and became her guardian and attendant, receiving the name of Anubis, and it is said to protect the gods just as dogs protect men." Plutarch also mentions the special Dog-star of Isis: Cyon (Sirius).
Another interesting tidbit are the mentions of the sisters Isis and Nephthys as “...the face of Isis on one side, and on the other the face of Nephthys [bottom of the circumference of the sistrum]. By these faces they symbolize birth and death, for these are the changes and movements of the elements.” This is in regards to the world as a sistrum (rattle of a snake), where all things in existence need to be shaken, rattled, never to cease their motion, but woken up and agitated when they grow drowsy and torpid.
I’ve argued before^[9] that Miquella’s unalloyed gold is immutable (unchanging) in a world that is fundamentally one of vicissitude (change between opposites), and the world described as a sistrum by Plutarch where things never cease their motion fits in quite nicely in my opinion. The sisters Isis and Nephthys being a dualism of life and death to me, bring to mind the Empyreans Marika The Eternal and the Gloam-Eyed Queen, life and death, in opposition. This doesn’t suddenly mean the GEQ is Marika’s sister, but I had always thought she was at least a Numen, since their longevity seems to make them good candidates for hosting the Elden Ring.
Plutarch also assigns Isis to Earth and Love to Osiris. For me personally, I assign Earth to Marika as the Elden Ring within her is “the wellspring of all joy” in the words of Enia and once bore fruit in the Age of Plenty, relating to Sophia. Radagon and Love are inseparable in my view, as he loved the perfection he sought above all else, and may have always loved Rennala even after leaving her in my opinion^[10] (though there's still much to debate about that in fairness). Overall, I strongly believe inspiration was taken from these myths.
As for Horus-the-Child, he is neither eternal, unaffected, or imperishable but “being ever reborn, contrives to remain always young and never subject to destruction in the changes and cycles of events.”^[5] (the sun that renews itself daily)
Most interestingly, Plutarch mentions the reason that Harpocrates was born frail, referencing Plato’s Symposium in regards to Love being the child of Plenty and Poverty. In the Symposium, Diotima showed Socrates “that Love was neither, but in a mean between fair and foul, good and evil, and not a god at all, but only a great demon or intermediate power... who conveys to the gods the prayers of men, and to men the commands of the gods.”^[11] This intermediate power in neoplatonic thought would be a demi-god. Miquella’s name seems to be “a variation of Miguella, itself a feminine version of Miguel, a name of Hebrew origin meaning ‘who is like God.’”^[6] The name fits his demi-god status quite well, but what of being born of Poverty and Plenty?
Diotima notes that Love, as the son of both, partakes of their natures and is full and starved by turn. “Like his mother he is poor and squalid, lying on mats at doors (compare the speech of Pausanias); like his father he is bold and strong, and full of arts and resources. Further, he is in a mean between ignorance and knowledge:—in this he resembles the philosopher who is also in a mean between the wise and the ignorant.”^[11] Plutarch says of the duo that “Poverty, wishing for children, insinuated herself beside Plenty while he was asleep, and having become pregnant by him, gave birth to Love, who is of a mixed and utterly variable nature.”^[2] He also speaks on their natures similarly since “...the son of a father who is good and wise and self-sufficient in all things, but of a mother who is helpless and without means and because of want always clinging close to another and always importunate over another. For Plenty is none other than the first beloved and desired, the perfect and self-sufficient; and Plato calls raw material Poverty, utterly lacking of herself in the Good, but being filled from him and always yearning for him and sharing with him.”^[2]
In Pausanias’ speech on Love in the same Symposium, he says there are two kinds; the first is noble, concerning the intelligence of man, “without wantonness or lust”, while the second is a more vulgar love, a love of the body rather than the soul, and of power and wealth.
Malenia is bold and strong like Radagon, while Miquella has inherited his father's talents for arts and resources. They are also afflicted with crippling weaknesses in turn.
I’d like to be very speculative right now about the true nature of the twins’ maladies, so feel free to disregard this next theory as mostly speculation. What if there’s another reason the twins were born malformed that has to do with their parents’ character rather than their relation (incest)? Radagon embodies Plenty in my opinion, through his journey of Golden Order Fundamentalism, mastering sorceries and incantations in his journey to be complete, having skills in crafts like sewing, and founding a school of thought that studies the Elden Ring through scholarly means. The love he practices seems to be a nobler one according to Pausanias, involving the intelligence of man in his journey for perfection.
I’ve argued before that Radagon represents the Intellect that comes into conflict with the Soul.^[10] Marika, the archetype of Sophia (who embodies the Soul) on the other hand, was chosen to be an Empyrean, having godhood thrust upon her because of her physical attributes (Numen, able to bear successors). She, like Poverty, clung close to another, Godfrey, relying on his strength to conquer the Lands Between, and dismissed him to serve her own ends. The love she pursued was more vulgar, loving the power that Hoarah Loux’s bodily strength brought her, not his mind, which is one of extreme amathia^[8] (self-ignorance resulting in cruel violence, barbarism). His love for Marika may have also been of the low kind, because I can't imagine any other reason his cave-man brain would choose Marika. The twins were born quite a while after her Age of Plenty (during Godfrey’s reign) ended, and her Erdtree was sick with sprouts afflicting it^[12], furthering her character as one of Poverty.
Elden Ring’s world is fundamentally one of vicissitude in my opinion^[9], (change between opposites and contraries) and I posit that the twins were subject to these forces when they were born because of their parent’s divine natures, with Miquella forever young (too little entropy, which could relate to the Law of Causality) due to the reasons Diotima and Plutarch said of Harpocrates, and due to what I choose to dub “The Law of Vicissitudes”: One cannot exist without the other, and as all things have their opposites and contraries, his twin Malenia was born with too much entropy in turn, afflicted by the influence of the Goddess of Rot.
Since this theory of Plenty and Poverty is very speculative, the fact of the matter is that the simplest explanation for the malformed twins is the self-incest of Radagon/Marika. At the very least, I believe it is still appropriate to view the Plenty/Poverty dynamic as thematically relevant in Elden Ring.
SOURCES:
[1] First Person Souls – Full Game Conversion
[2] Isis and Osiris by Plutarch
[3] Harpocrates and Other Child Deities in Ancient Egyptian Sculpture
[4] Harpocrates Plague and Figurine
[5] Some Gem-Amulets Depicting Harpocrates Seated on a Lotus Flower: To the Memory of My Great Friend Dr. Alexandre Piankoff
[6] The names, terms and language of Elden Ring (etymology/nomenclature study)
[7] SILENCE, HARPOCRATES, AND THE CYMBALUM MUNDI
[8] Miquella's story is based on the Greek tragedy "The Bacchae", and the "Sophia" that permeates Elden Ring
[9] Why the Flame of Frenzy can only be quelled in Placidusax's arena & the nature of unalloyed gold
[10] The Heroic Frenzy of Radagon
[11] Symposium, by Plato
[12] Misbegotten, Omens, and Grafting: An Origin Story

Saw this on FB from one of the people I know personally but don’t technically consider a friend. She’s always been a bit of a drama queen, but this particular post had me eye rolling so hard they nearly popped out of my sockets. And for context she is technically considered morbidly obese.
“Friends of [metropolitan area], mainly Springfield do NOT go to [Nail Salon] in Springfield! I have been fat shamed by my nail tech. She was rushing through my pedicure and didn’t even go all the way up to my knees on the scrubs and massages. I just feel punished for trying to get some self care. I’ve been shopping for a nail place for the wedding party and [Nail Salon] is NOT it! I know this to be true cause [Friend Name] was with me and she had a cheaper pedi and she was getting treated MUCH better than I was. 😓😭 drowning my sorrows in some sangria and guac before going home”

I thought it would be good for me to share my thoughts as a farewell to the Cradle series. It's a rather critical review, and I'm aware that this is not going to be very popular here, so let me preface this by saying that I think Cradle is undeniably a solid series, which I would wholeheartedly recommend. That said, I didn't enjoy the ending as much as I had hoped. In my opinion, the series started to feel off with Bloodline, and I've only recently been able to pinpoint why.
In short, everything felt too safe, somewhat focused on fan service, and rushed.
Remember the intense fights earlier in the series, like Lindon/Orthos vs. Harmony, where they only made it through with Dross' first combat report? Or Lindon's desperate struggle against Kiro, where he had to use every ounce of his strength just to survive and barely flee for his life? Even further back, there was Lindon's defeat in the duel against Jai Long, where he lost an arm due to being completely outmatched. These fights had a sense of real danger and tension.
Since Wintersteel, though, I can't recall a single fight that made me genuinely fear for the characters or think that they might actually lose and face consequences. The closest was the team Lindon vs. Monarch Shen fight, but even that ended without any significant repercussions. They certainly always appear to fight on the verge of death, confronting unfavorable odds and barely surviving, but they also almost always emerge unscathed (or unscathed in the grand scheme of things), and that's my biggest complaint. There can only be so many times when a character comes close to death but ultimately triumphs against all odds before readers start to perceive the "danger" as nothing more than artificial trickery employed by the author.
At some point, it felt like the books were written as if they were video game levels: defeat enemy #1434, loot corpse, advance, repeat. There was no doubt that team Lindon would overcome all the Monarchs, defeat the Dreadgods, and ascend. I kept waiting for a twist, a major loss, or something unexpected to grab my interest, rather than another drawn-out battle where Lindon inevitably prevails.
The Monarchs and even the Dreadgods felt incredibly weak in Waybound. Lindon easily defeats Northstrider, a centuries-old Monarch with a baby presence of his own. I was actually interested when Northstirder appeared to be easily thrashing Lindon with his centuries of experience. But of course, no. It was all just a ploy, and Lindon actually had absolute control from the start. The other Monarch fights weren't much better- Malice escapes from Lindon with her tail between her legs, Shen is overwhelmed by penance arrows and is forced to flee almost immediately. Three other Monarchs—Sha Miara, Emeriss, and the Eight-man Empire—end up siding with Lindon, further diminishing the challenge for the team. The Dreadgods couldn't compare to Lindon- he could match two of them plus a Monarch.
The best way to put it is that there was no gravity to any of those fights. It's like they were written solely to elicit a "hell yeah!" response rather than to put readers on the edge of their seats.
I understand that this is a matter of personal taste, but I genuinely wish the series as a whole had been less light-hearted and safe. I wish Will had been bolder, willing to deceive and surprise us. What if the Monarchs ended up being right in maintaining the status quo, and Lindon, as a result, had a crisis of motives in the middle of Waybound? What if Mercy sided with her mother, forcing Lindon to reevaluate their friendship? Or perhaps, upon ascending to one of the Vroshir worlds, Lindon discovers that the Abidan were not as noble as they seemed, setting up a rivalry between him and Ozriel in a future series? I know none of these ideas necessarily align with the spirit of the books, but I can't help but feel that Will played it too safe, too straightforward, without offering anything that had the slightest chance of dividing the fanbase.
But even disregarding everything I mentioned above, I still don't think the wrap-up was that good. First of all, part of Eithan's purpose for returning to Cradle was to find exceptional sacred artists who could go with him to the 'end,' whatever that may be. The thing is, though, as Ozriel, he has already supposedly reached the 'end,' being the strongest known entity in the universe (according to Suriel's Presence). So where does that put him in relation to the team? Where is the struggle if he can demolish anything that truly threatens them at any point? Is he part of the Executioner program, leading the team to save dying worlds?
The final chapter doesn't make any of that clear because everything is rushed. If Eithan is part of the Executioner program, is he veiling his true powers to avoid disrupting the flow of faith or whatever? But then, how much power is he allowed to bring on those missions? I assume there's a threshold of power beyond which one's interference with fate becomes too disastrous. But doesn't that mean the team has to stop growing at some point, never reaching the power level of a Judge so they can keep functioning as Executioners?
Yet, that seems to contradict the entire point of the series, which is eternal self-improvement. It appears that Lindon and Yerin have settled down and had a child. So is that the end of their path? I suppose "We will never stop" was only meant for Cradle, not beyond.
Another minor gripe: As much as it was satisfying getting to see Lindon trouncing Li Markuth, I couldn't help but cringe at the blatant fan service. It had a certain poetic charm, with Lindon concluding his journey in Cradle the way it all began, but the logic behind it was questionable. Why would the Mad King concern himself with someone as weak as Li Markuth? And why would he send him back to Sacred Valley? The showdown between them was undeniably cool, but it felt jarring that there was no mention of Lindon's family's reaction.
Shortly after, Lindon ascends without saying his goodbyes to anyone, only to find himself in an enemy world, promptly rescued by Fury. I couldn't help but wonder what the purpose of it all was, considering it led to nothing. I was sure he would fight the Silverlord, to show us how he compares to strong enemies beyond Cradle. That was such a missed opportunity. Also, was he fighting a class two fiend shortly after ascending or was that after a time skip?
I reckon a good fix for most of those problems would've been to add another book. It'd give enough screen time to properly wrap up the characters' stories and delve into the Abidan plot in a more satisfying way.
Anyway, this is getting pretty long, so I'll stop my rambling here. It kinda sounds like I hate the series, but that's really far from the truth. I absolutely love those books. I just feel like they didn't quite nail the landing.

I'm a 28F currently dealing with a revenge obsessed ex-boyfriend (36M) who has been stalking me online for at least 2 years now and is hell bent on destroying my life. Basically I was his first GF in 7 years at the time and prior to the girl before me who cheated on him he claimed he never had a GF except girls who thought he looked like Harry Potter in middle school. He is 36 and doesn't have a lot of experience with women so the break up is apparently still difficult for him to process even though its 3 years later and we have not spoken except me asking him profusely to stop doing this stuff.
At the time we were dating a few years ago I was dealing with some identity issues during our relationship which I was honest with him about, (identified as bisexual at the time, but was questioning my sexuality). We had some disagreements about it and he would always ask why he couldn't stay over early on in the relationship (~1 month into it). I ended up breaking things off with him after roughly 4 months because I felt like we weren't compatible and also because I had lost my job at the time and was dealing with personal issues on the side (severely depressed, was in therapy for it).
We were friends for a short time after the breakup until things started getting VERY weird. He began circling the road next to my apartment several times per hour EVERY DAY. At the time I considered it strange but had a limited knowledge of technology other than basic CS classes I had taken in the past. The internet would randomly shut off for 30 mins - 1 hour for no reason. I would later find out in the logs the router was being hit with DOS attacks several times per day.
I would also see my documents on Google Drive opened by strange usernames of fake accounts, and eventually had a remote access trojan on my laptop after he sent me photos of us through Google Photos which I suspect he used to infect my computer. He would backspace while I typed, open and close windows, click random things on the screen, and straight up mess with me for several hours per day every day for MONTHS.
Then eventually the computer crashed and would never start again. It was a $1500 Macbook Pro. My new car also mysteriously got something poured in the fuel tank and after a few weeks and several hundreds of dollars of new parts no mechanic could fix the car. My apartment was broken into repeatedly with subtle signs of forced entry but nothing stolen. Examples: Pry marks on the inside of the front door, side door and back door, personal care items like body wash, underwear or bras stolen or moved, coming home to find personal documents like medical records, tax records, and bank info layed out on my bedroom floor shuffled around. I filed police reports each time it happened but couldn't prove it was him.
My car has also been broken into a few times now with my dashcam broken off the mount, hidden under the passenger seat, stick figures taking a dump drawn on my windshield, and nails in my back tire and spare tire. I believe he put a GPS tracker on the car because I have heard someone outside opening and closing the car door but nothing was stolen. So far no mechanic has been able to find a tracker and I couldn't either.
I had to stop using the wifi at my apartment because every device I use on that network gets hacked (multiple different laptops, 2 kindles, and 3 cell phones). I found a keylogger on my M1 Macbook Pro (~$2000) which he also placed persistent malware on and I can not get rid of despite wiping the hard drive 8 times since this January. He defaced my professional website I was trying to use to get a job twice (first time put a pic of nude child and set his hacker username as my bank account number, added a redirect link which I stupidly clicked on and then it downloaded some sort of spyware or RAT onto my device, 2nd time he put up 2 women doing the deed also nude).
He has had remote access to this computer for an unknown amount of time and I can not afford to replace it. My cell phone also booted up into safe mode the next morning and the background was changed on my work/school email account. I tried taking my computer to a repair shop and they claimed if he does have a RAT on it, it is likely hidden on the recovery partition and they weren't able to find it or get it off my computer. This is a $2000 M1 Mac and he already destroyed my previous Macbook Pro which cost me $1500.
I also had to buy a new cell phone after I kept getting creepy phone calls and phishing texts from unknown numbers. When he put the new keylogger on my computer recently I saw where he made a folder which he named the digits of my new phone number. I had just bought a brand new Samsung Galaxy and he already got the new phone number for it and hacked it. He kept enabled the camera and microphone and while I was eating turned on the camera and started recorded me while I was eating. I factory reset the phone and he was still able to control the camera and mic on it.
I have reported him to the FBI IC3 unit 6 times now in the last year and now he is getting cocky about it and knows he will get away with it so he keeps doing it. He knows I am broke with no money and can't afford a new computer, to move away, or to keep buying a new cell phone every month and he seems to get off on trying to destroy my whole life. I have not spoken to him in 3 years now and we do not talk at all. I sent him a FB message telling him to stop explaining to him I have been going through a lot since my sister died a few years ago and just want to be left alone. He keeps doing it and won't stop.
He also recruited my crush who I never mentioned to him to help him with the hacking (my crush is a system admin) and now my crush won't speak to me at all and hates my guts. I have no idea what he said to my crush or how he got them to come after me but they have been going full on nuclear and won't stop. I caught him staking me out a few days ago at the gas station across from a wifi hotspot I was using where he was just sitting there for an extended period of time watching me. Then when I started drive near him he inched his truck like he was thinking about if he was going to follow me or not. He also knows when I come and go at night and drives by my apartment minutes after I get home at different times.
This guy seems to think I owe him something and has a serious problem. I also find it creepy that he knows about my crush and is actively getting the crush to help him do this stuff just to hurt me. He just keeps doing all this and will not stop. While I am not the type of person to do anything crazy back, the police have done nothing and in terms of the hacking there is not a lot they can do. This is pushing me to the brink of self destructive thoughts because every time I turn my computer on I can't do anything without him snooping. He has access to my computer, my phone, possibly my apartment and car. What can I do to at least expose this guy. I don't think he is ever going to stop until he kills me and this has got to stop.

I'm a 28F currently dealing with a revenge obsessed ex-boyfriend (36M) who has been stalking me online for at least 2 years now and is hell bent on destroying my life. Basically I was his first GF in 7 years at the time and prior to the girl before me who cheated on him he claimed he never had a GF except girls who thought he looked like Harry Potter in middle school. He is 36 and doesn't have a lot of experience with women so the break up is apparently still difficult for him to process even though its 3 years later and we have not spoken except me asking him profusely to stop doing this stuff.
At the time we were dating a few years ago I was dealing with some identity issues during our relationship which I was honest with him about, (identified as bisexual at the time, but was questioning my sexuality). We had some disagreements about it and he would always ask why he couldn't stay over early on in the relationship (~1 month into it). I ended up breaking things off with him after roughly 4 months because I felt like we weren't compatible and also because I had lost my job at the time and was dealing with personal issues on the side (severely depressed, was in therapy for it).
We were friends for a short time after the breakup until things started getting VERY weird. He began circling the road next to my apartment several times per hour EVERY DAY. At the time I considered it strange but had a limited knowledge of technology other than basic CS classes I had taken in the past. The internet would randomly shut off for 30 mins - 1 hour for no reason. I would later find out in the logs the router was being hit with DOS attacks several times per day.
I would also see my documents on Google Drive opened by strange usernames of fake accounts, and eventually had a remote access trojan on my laptop after he sent me photos of us through Google Photos which I suspect he used to infect my computer. He would backspace while I typed, open and close windows, click random things on the screen, and straight up mess with me for several hours per day every day for MONTHS.
Then eventually the computer crashed and would never start again. It was a $1500 Macbook Pro. My new car also mysteriously got something poured in the fuel tank and after a few weeks and several hundreds of dollars of new parts no mechanic could fix the car. My apartment was broken into repeatedly with subtle signs of forced entry but nothing stolen. Examples: Pry marks on the inside of the front door, side door and back door, personal care items like body wash, underwear or bras stolen or moved, coming home to find personal documents like medical records, tax records, and bank info layed out on my bedroom floor shuffled around. I filed police reports each time it happened but couldn't prove it was him.
My car has also been broken into a few times now with my dashcam broken off the mount, hidden under the passenger seat, stick figures taking a dump drawn on my windshield, and nails in my back tire and spare tire. I believe he put a GPS tracker on the car because I have heard someone outside opening and closing the car door but nothing was stolen. So far no mechanic has been able to find a tracker and I couldn't either.
I had to stop using the wifi at my apartment because every device I use on that network gets hacked (multiple different laptops, 2 kindles, and 3 cell phones). I found a keylogger on my M1 Macbook Pro (~$2000) which he also placed persistent malware on and I can not get rid of despite wiping the hard drive 8 times since this January. He defaced my professional website I was trying to use to get a job twice (first time put a pic of nude child and set his hacker username as my bank account number, added a redirect link which I stupidly clicked on and then it downloaded some sort of spyware or RAT onto my device, 2nd time he put up 2 women doing the deed also nude).
He has had remote access to this computer for an unknown amount of time and I can not afford to replace it. My cell phone also booted up into safe mode the next morning and the background was changed on my work/school email account. I tried taking my computer to a repair shop and they claimed if he does have a RAT on it, it is likely hidden on the recovery partition and they weren't able to find it or get it off my computer. This is a $2000 M1 Mac and he already destroyed my previous Macbook Pro which cost me $1500.
I also had to buy a new cell phone after I kept getting creepy phone calls and phishing texts from unknown numbers. When he put the new keylogger on my computer recently I saw where he made a folder which he named the digits of my new phone number. I had just bought a brand new Samsung Galaxy and he already got the new phone number for it and hacked it. He kept enabled the camera and microphone and while I was eating turned on the camera and started recorded me while I was eating. I factory reset the phone and he was still able to control the camera and mic on it.
I have reported him to the FBI IC3 unit 6 times now in the last year and now he is getting cocky about it and knows he will get away with it so he keeps doing it. He knows I am broke with no money and can't afford a new computer, to move away, or to keep buying a new cell phone every month and he seems to get off on trying to destroy my whole life. I have not spoken to him in 3 years now and we do not talk at all. I sent him a FB message telling him to stop explaining to him I have been going through a lot since my sister died a few years ago and just want to be left alone. He keeps doing it and won't stop.
He also recruited my crush who I never mentioned to him to help him with the hacking (my crush is a system admin) and now my crush won't speak to me at all and hates my guts. I have no idea what he said to my crush or how he got them to come after me but they have been going full on nuclear and won't stop. I caught him staking me out a few days ago at the gas station across from a wifi hotspot I was using where he was just sitting there for an extended period of time watching me. Then when I started drive near him he inched his truck like he was thinking about if he was going to follow me or not. He also knows when I come and go at night and drives by my apartment minutes after I get home at different times.
This guy seems to think I owe him something and has a serious problem. I also find it creepy that he knows about my crush and is actively getting the crush to help him do this stuff just to hurt me. He just keeps doing all this and will not stop. While I am not the type of person to do anything crazy back, the police have done nothing and in terms of the hacking there is not a lot they can do. This is pushing me to the brink of self destructive thoughts because every time I turn my computer on I can't do anything without him snooping. He has access to my computer, my phone, possibly my apartment and car. What can I do to at least expose this guy. I don't think he is ever going to stop until he kills me and this has got to stop.

As the title suggests - I have terrible feet. For years I’ve been struggling with terrible athletes foot, fungal nails and now ingrown nails too. I feel like everything I’ve used (Vicks Vaporub, anti fungal powder, canesten, epsom salt baths) hasn’t worked. Since WFH the problem has got a bit better as I can have bare feet more often but it’s still nowhere near sorted. To top it off I’m also flat footed with feet so wide they’re practically square (painful and hard to buy decent shoes). I desperately want to have nice feet and be able to wear sandals and I’m now well into my 6th year of not being able to do this confidently😔
In this situation who do I go see to fix the issue? I’m in the UK and I feel that this isn’t the kind of thing I’d waste gp’s time on. Do I need to find a local foot clinic or podiatrist??
Please help ! 👣

I recently finished Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford. It was a fascinating telling of the Mongols and their history that shears away centuries of confusion about the Mongols and their culture, and its influence on human civilization in the centuries since.
One question I have after reading the book is, how did the Mongols deal with their wounds on the battlefield, given their strong taboos against touching blood? Indeed, the most noble death (at least given to some deemed "too important" to die in a disgraceful way) was to execute someone without spilling blood, like being crushed or drowned. (Or, as the author notes several times, rolled up in carpets and seemingly danced on/walked on to death.)
Weatherford's book goes into a lot of detail about the engineering and battlefield tactics that the Mongols either pioneered or otherwise adopted from other cultures that allowed them be so successful militarily, economically, socially, etc. And he describes how eager the Mongols were to adopt practices that "just worked" from other cultures.
So, what did Mongol medical care on the battlefield look like? Were the more advanced medicines and medical practices of the Near East and China compatible with the Mongols? Was this one area they did not borrow from conquered peoples?

I (27F) have been with my partner (69M) for 1.5 years now. I am very, very much in love with him. He says he is in love with me. I know that he does love me and cares about me a lot.
I've always had clarity as to what I wanted in a relationship, and marriage is one of those things. I've never wanted to date a guy for years on end without a promise of a longer-term commitment. There is no question in my mind that I could marry this man, and that we could be happy. But whenver I discuss the topic with him, I start having doubts.
He's a widower, and I've asked "do you ever see yourself getting married again?" He said he "thinks he could", but it would "require a major adjustment" (i.e. selling the house that he and his late wife lived in for years, getting rid of most of "their" things, adjusting to living with someone new). He said that if he marries again, he would want it to be me; but he also says "we're happy as we are."
He's also made a lot of statements about he doesn't want me to "throw my life away on an old man" or "be a young widow". I can't tell how much of his hesitance to remarry is based on worries for me, or if he's just uncomfortable with the idea of change, or both. Not gonna lie, I'm hurt that he doesn't seem as eager to commit as I am; he is having his cake and eating it too right now. I would've assumed older guys would be more likely to want commitment.
I've thought through all the issues that can and will arise (his declining health, me shouldering more responsibilities as he ages, potential decline in sex life, etc.) and I truly would rather go through all that with him, as his wife who is madly in love with him, than a mediocre marriage with someone my age.
I'm starting to get antsy with not knowing where this is going. We've talked about moving in together, and he says he's on board with it, but whenever I try to discuss details--where to live, house vs. apartment, etc.--he starts acting anxious and says we'll have to take "small steps" and "we'll get there eventually." It's not that I want to nail him down to a hard timeline, but I just feel like I have no sense of direction for where this is headed. My feelings for him are intense and I need to know that they're going towards something, if that makes sense?
I want to have another talk with him in the near future about "where we're going". Is it too soon in the relationship to tell him flat-out that I want to marry him eventually? Should I lay it all out now, or wait for him to take more initiative towards moving in together to prove he's serious?
I guess I'm just looking for advice/opinions/empathy. My family is very much against this relationship, and only a few of my friends know, so I don't have a support network to discuss these things with.\\
​

I’ve loved avenged sevenfold for a long time now, been my favourite band since I was 7yo. I’m 20 now, and they’ve stayed my favourite throughout the years. So maybe I’m biased. But this is the best band of all time (in metal/prog/rock/etc). They go above and beyond what anybody else is doing, with the beautiful story telling and godlike musical talent, the branding, the concept, everything. I know they’re not for everyone, but even my 74yo grandmother loved acid rain and (d)eath. When I showed her wish you were here and as tears go by, she thought they were better then the originals. Anybody I’ve ever met who says they don’t like avenged sevenfold, I’ve changed the minds of simply by showing more of them. A7X has such a diversity in their records and the the tracks within, it’s crazy. They’ve done nearly every kind of music you can do with a guitar bass ands drums, and fucking beautifully. I wish they would do more covers, because they nail them every time. But I’m also happy to just let them cook at this point, they’ve never disappointed me.
Needless to say, LIBAD absolutely blew me away. I love them all, but Mattel easier and cosmic all especially hit home with me. Nobody is still probably my favourite song of all time though, so there’s that. We love you is a song i wouldn’t want to hear everyday, but not because it’s bad. It’s just so weird and I don’t want it to lose that weirdness. I cried over cosmic, happy and sad tears at the same time. Game over made me wish I was in a mosh pit, then made me cry within like a minute from mosh mode(lyrics are insane). (O)rdinary is a perfect blend of avenged sound and daft punk, and I fucking love it. Listen to it everyday.
Idk why I wrote all that, smoked some weed and wanted to rave about avenged sevenfold lmao. What are your thoughts on the new album?

I knew I shouldn’t have told Ava about the bugs when I saw her reaction. I just don’t know what I was thinking. Ava had severe entomophobia. Every corner of our house was bug spray and the sickening scent of lemongrass in our bedroom I couldn't ever forget. She always dumped bottles and bottles of lemongrass essential oil into our bedroom humidifier and went into hysterics whenever she saw a bug. I got used to it eventually, but I can’t believe I forgot and slipped up. I think I really messed up…
Matthew, as usual, was rambling about another awful fact he read up on in the office. “Did you know? There are microscopic bugs living on your skin…” I sighed. He was at it again. I continued typing another email to an impatient client. “You can only see them under a microscope. They’re kinda transparent and are covered with scales."
I cringed at the thought and went back, typing louder, signaling to him to stop. He didn’t seem to notice. “It has an elongated body and its front segment has eight legs and a mouth, look at this” He showed a clearly uneasy intern, Sam, something on his phone. She tried to back away but he continued to talk.
“They come out of your skin’s pores when you sleep to mate, isn’t that cool? Then they’ll go back into your skin to lay eggs,” He grinned comically at an obviously tense Sam. She made a run for it, saying she had some important work to do. Somehow, what he said couldn’t leave my mind all day. It started to feel like they were crawling on my skin. I’m sure I was being paranoid.
Bugs on my face? Is Matt kidding around again? He sure did love making the interns uneasy with his creepy facts and stories and now it was getting to me. I sighed and gave in to my urges, leaving a client hanging. Stabbing at my keyboard more aggressively than expected, turning heads, I hesitantly searched up, ‘Are there bugs on your skin’ and clicked images. Their little faces looked revolting. These creatures lived on my skin? They lived everywhere on my skin? I recoiled from my screen. My stomach turned and churned like a butter factory. Sticky, oily, greasy. Oozing from the walls, the floors, my pores. Near impossible to get rid of. The little hideous face that stared back at me looked like it was giving a smug smile. A smile of accomplishment. It was foreboding something. I could feel it. Chills ran down my spine as I shut my laptop.
I returned to work but it kept flashing back to my mind. When I was replying yet again to that incessant client, on the drive home and mid conversation with my wife.
“And how’s that annoying coworker of yours? Has he stopped rambling about weird stuff?”
“Oh he’s been unbearable today. Usually he talks about urban legends and those stupid things to scare gullible kids and stupid teenagers but today he was rambling on about some disgusting bugs living on our skin. Ugh, I can’t take it anymore, I can't stop thinking about them! It’s as if I can feel them crawling on my skin!” I stopped mid way when I saw my wife’s expression change. She sat frozen, eyes on me. I tried to stop her as she grabbed her phone and furiously typed. She dropped her fork, repulsed. Bile rose up in my throat. “I-I’m not hungry anymore.”
My stomach dropped. Regret instantly gripped my heart. I put our untouched food on our plates in some storage containers and went to our bedroom to check on Ava. I knew she needed some alone time when she was stressed.
“Ava? I’m sorry, are you alright?” The bedroom door opened with a long creak. Foreboding. Ava was nowhere to be seen. What did I do this time? I really messed up. I went to check in the other rooms. A nude Ava was frantically scrubbing at her skin. She was rubbing her skin with so much force. Her skin was red and raw. “Ava! Stop! Ava, please, please stop,” I tried to pry her hands off the loofah but she just started scratching at her skin. “I can feel them! Ryan get lost! Just let me!” She violently scratched at her skin till her nail marks were etched in them as I struggled to restrain her. “Ava please, you’re going berserk! I’m so sorry for telling you but I assure you they are harmless, just please stop, you’re hurting yourself!” She yelled as she tried to break off my grasp. “They’re everywhere! They’re on me, in me, I think even under my skin! Ryan just fucking let go! I have to get rid of them. I can feel them everywhere!” Those words struck me. I can feel them everywhere.
I finally managed to calm Ava down. I gently applied moisturizer on Ava’s irritated skin and kissed her forehead, watching as my wife finally drifted off to sleep. I hoped this mania would stop soon. I shouldn’t have told Ava about the bugs. I can feel them everywhere. My fingers reached out to scratch my skin. I was getting itchy. I drew my hand back. What was I thinking? This was another one of Matt’s dumb facts. Why was it affecting me so badly?
It was even worse when I came back home the next day. “Ava? Ava where are you?” The living room and kitchen were both empty when I arrived home. The faulty light bulb in the kitchen flickered. Foreboding.
I couldn’t deny I was apprehensive walking around in my house of 7 years looking for Ava. I felt lost in the house I could walk in blindfolded. A stranger in my own home. Ava usually bought pizza for us on Fridays when she got off from work but there was nothing on the dining table. Or did she tell me to get dinner today? Maybe she mentioned that she was gonna work overtime? Why was I so nervous? She could have gone to sleep early, after all it has been an exhausting week for the both of us.
Scrubbing. Dread filled my veins. My heart was thumping twice as hard as my body felt like it was pushing through water instead of air. I tried not to scream when I registered the horrifying sight that met me in our room. The love of my life, my Ava, looked like a stranger. My eyes ran over to what she was using to scrub her skin. Sandpaper. Small bits of her skin lay on the floor. Chunks of hair which I assumed was torn from her head were scattered among the blood and skin. “A-Ava…” She gave me a demented, wide smile. She was barely a mirror of her past self. Her adorable round eyes were now red and sunken, with deep eyebags. Her warm, comforting smile looked menacing. “THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!”
Ava went into the bathroom. I wished that I stopped her but I was petrified. Fixed to the ground. I was glued to the floor. I was afraid of the monstrous figure that was once my lovely wife. Skin lying all over the floor, bones poking out of her skin. A sharp blade lying on the ground as I scanned the hills and valleys carved in her skin. The smooth skin of hers I used to caress was now plucked and dug into. I held back tears as I pictured her destroyed self. She didn’t even bother looking at me. She just continued slaughtering layer after layer of skin off. I was suffocating at the grisly sight before me. It was as if it had grown arms and were wrapping itself around my throat, gripping me harder and harder. I caved in. I dashed to the bathroom. Maybe I’d be an olympic winner if they recorded how fast I sprinted. “AVA STOP! AVA PLEASE FUCKING STOP!”
Ava turned her head toward me, slowly. Mechanical. Like those robots that felt so artificial, so strained. Her eyes were two holes. I held back a scream as I saw her eyes lying on the floor in a deep red pool of blood “I can see them everywhere.They are everywhere.” She cackled erratically. A long, hard laugh. I backed away. She reached out for me, giggling like a child. “Ryannn, look at me! They’re dying. They’re gonna be gone right? Right, Ryan? They’re everywhere but I’ll get rid of them.” Her bloody arms wrapped around me as she turned me around to look at her hideousness. Her mangled face pressed against mine. I screamed louder than any banshee for help, pleading for her to stop.I thought it was all over for me.
"They get stronger when we fear them,” a foreign voice emanated from her and echoed in my skull. Ava collapsed into a bubbling mass of blood and organs. Eaten from the inside. Her organs torn to shreds and filled with enough holes to make anyone trypophobia retch.
I’ve been feeling really itchy recently. They’re everywhere.

Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died…
…when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell...
...to lay the queen of beauty’s laurel in Lyanna’s lap.
https://preview.redd.it/95pwuazoe85b1.jpg?width=551&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e87e1d95f172a847411dcfa70440ffe6270a4c4c
He could see it still: a crown of winter roses, blue as frost.
Ned Stark reached out his hand to grasp the flowery crown, but beneath the pale blue petals the thorns lay hidden.
https://preview.redd.it/trpwm2gxg85b1.png?width=962&format=png&auto=webp&s=aada9b3bc346f2eb376580e1a6cf296c2f0c2276
The phenomenon illustrates the power of unconscious inferences and implicit assumptions in perception.
This is the final part of a series exploring the hidden motives and actions of the main players during Robert's Rebellion, named LBJ in reference to the influence of Lyndon B. Johnson and the Vietnam War on GRRM's views and writings on war. LBJ also indicates considerations over whether Lyanna + Bobby B = Jon Snow. Previous installments include:

• Rhaegar Had To Be A Warrior
• Why Did Rhaegar Crown Lyanna?
  • Ice, Ice Baby?
  • Political Suicide?
  • Was She 'A Very Kinky Girl'?
• The Forging of Lightbringer: Blue Flowers & Narrow Visors
• Rhaegar Mistakenly Crowned Lyanna
• I am not fond of fishsticks, but when fish is served, I eat it.
• All is fair in love and war...
• Kingsguard Loyalty
• Southron Ambitions & Lies
• The Return of the Prince: Éowyn at the Trident
• Mirror on the Wall: King Robert vs. Queen Cersei
• The Horned Demon of the Trident

This series presented a case that, like LBJ's administration lied to the public about the Vietnam War, including by exaggerating reports of an attack on U.S. ships to coerce Congress into granting broad authority to escalate the war, the winners of Robert's Rebellion implemented a falsified propaganda campaign in service to their personal and political ambitions. They capitalized on Rhaegar's mistake at Harrenhal to form a believable lie that the crown prince abducted Lyanna, when in fact both she and Rhaegar were taken by rebel allies, with Rhaegar being tortured for the crime of crowning Robert's betrothed queen of love and beauty despite the presence of his pregnant, Dornish wife. The Kingsguard at the tower of joy betrayed the Targaryens, and they granted Robert access to the tower and Lyanna after his loss at Ashford, meaning Robert may be Jon's father. And yet either of Lyanna's guards, Arthur Dayne or Oswell Whent, may have had an affair with the she-wolf, and so not even Lyanna herself was necessarily certain of Jon Snow's paternity.
This part will show how Ned's thoughts and actions are consistent with this scenario.

Ned's Dangerous Secrets

Lord Eddard Stark is defined by his love for his family and his sense of honor and justice. He prizes loyalty and abhors the killing of innocent children, but these values are often challenged by the harsh realities of the world he lives in, leading Ned to dishonor himself in ways that haunt him. Ned Stark thus epitomizes the concept of the human heart in conflict with itself.
Our first glimpse of Lord Stark's internal conflict is in Bran's first chapter. Reading between the lines, it's apparent that Ned beheaded an innocent man, as Gared was not truly a deserter but had been chased south by a hungry, pregnant direwolf. Bran doesn't reveal what Gared said to defend himself, but it's easy to imagine he explained about the direwolf, which to Ned would come off as a lie or a slight against his house, given that direwolves hadn't been spotted south of the Wall in 200 years. Lord Stark also failed to heed the omen of the antler in the direwolf's throat; besides superstitiously signaling the danger of House Baratheon, it served as a sharp lesson that sometimes absurd, seemingly unbelievable things do happen, and so it's important to do due diligence before doling out harsh penalties. The Starks are conditioned to judge deserters harshly, however, which is why Arya murders Dareon the singer, even though his desertion was justifiable given that he had been placed at the Wall on a false accusation of rape. Neither Arya nor Ned conduct proper investigations, and so despite their good intentions, they both perpetuate injustice. Likewise, Ned staunchly supported Robert during the rebellion, and though he had very good reasons to do so, he failed to question the underlying assumptions and so unwittingly participated in perpetuating injustice.
Ned continues to dishonor himself at the Trident with his daughters, when he places loyalty to King Robert over truth and justice. Despite Ned’s desire to protect innocents, he cowed to Robert’s judgement, permitting Mycah's death and executing Lady himself, though he knew they were blameless. It’s thus easy to see how Bran’s vision of the Trident involves not only Robert’s black mountain of a shadow, but also his father’s shadows, represented by an ashen hound and a man armored in gold, indicating the dark and light sides at war within Lord Eddard Stark; some lights cast more than one shadow.

He looked south, and saw the great blue-green rush of the Trident. He saw his father pleading with the king, his face etched with grief. He saw Sansa crying herself to sleep at night, and he saw Arya watching in silence and holding her secrets hard in her heart. There were shadows all around them. One shadow was dark as ash, with the terrible face of a hound. Another was armored like the sun, golden and beautiful. Over them both loomed a giant in armor made of stone, but when he opened his visor, there was nothing inside but darkness and thick black blood.

- A Game of Thrones Bran III
Ned’s personal demons are rooted in Robert’s Rebellion. When Robert tries to convince Ned to support the assassination of Daenerys and her unborn child, the second time, Ned protests that the purpose of the rebellion was to put an end to the murder of children.

“Whereas Daenerys is a fourteen-year-old girl.” Ned knew he was pushing this well past the point of wisdom, yet he could not keep silent. “Robert, I ask you, what did we rise against Aerys Targaryen for, if not to put an end to the murder of children?”
“To put an end to Targaryens!” the king growled.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard VIII
This may reference the Defiance of Duskendale, a tax dispute which escalated to King Aerys’s abduction and imprisonment, significantly contributing to his mental decline. Once Aerys was freed by Ser Barristan, he ordered the Darklyns and Hollards wiped out, except for young Dontos at Barristan’s request, and there were children among those slain. This act sent a signal to other nobles, putting them on notice that a whole family and their goodkin, down to innocent children, would be mortally liable for the misdeeds of a few.
So when Rhaegar blundered at Harrenhal, whataboutism dictates that the whole Targaryen dynasty was thus liable. This human tendency towards scapegoating and revenge is reflected in the people of Duskendale blaming Denys Darklyn’s Myrish wife Lady Serala for influencing his actions, leading them to mutilate and burn her alive. The grisly fates of those linked to the Defiance would incline Robert and his allies to ensure the abduction and imprisonment of Lyanna and Rhaegar was conducted with utmost secrecy, to protect their own families from the dragon’s retribution.
The reference to child murder may also relate to suspicions surrounding the untimely deaths of Aerys’s offspring, and it could reference the deaths of Brandon’s companions, depending on their ages. If the latter, it underscores Ned’s diminished resentment towards Aerys for executing his father and brother. It’s possible Ned felt that his wolf-blooded brother overreacted by riding to King’s Landing to threaten the life of the crown prince.

“It has a name, does it?” Her father sighed. “Ah, Arya. You have a wildness in you, child. ‘The wolf blood,’ my father used to call it. Lyanna had a touch of it, and my brother Brandon more than a touch. It brought them both to an early grave.“

- A Game of Thrones Arya II
After Brandon and Lord Rickard were executed and Aerys demanded the heads of Robert and Ned, Ned could then justify rebelling against the throne not only to preserve his own life, but also to prevent the Mad King from extending his vengeance to wipe out both House Stark and Baratheon, down to innocent children. Ned's sense of honor is able to override his sense of loyalty in response to direct threats to innocents and his family, yet he lacks the moral and cognitive flexibility to defy kings who abuse their power to indirectly harm their subjects.
So for instance, Ned justly speaks out against and attempts to resign over Robert's assassination plans, despite the real danger of a Dothraki invasion. Yet Ned does not show the same zeal for preventing the indirect threat of the crown failing to pay its debts, even though this failure would induce lenders to fund wars against the Seven Kingdoms. The ethics of economics are perhaps more complex than murder, and so it's easy for Ned to be talked into allowing the expensive Hand's Tourney to go forward, rather than educating himself well enough to recognize that the crown's debts have the potential to harm the populace far more than any dragonspawn could.

He did not have to like it, though. And come spring, when the time came to repay all that gold, he would like it even less. Tycho Nestoris had impressed him as cultured and courteous, but the Iron Bank of Braavos had a fearsome reputation when collecting debts. Each of the Nine Free Cities had its bank, and some had more than one, fighting over every coin like dogs over a bone, but the Iron Bank was richer and more powerful than all the rest combined. When princes defaulted on their debts to lesser banks, ruined bankers sold their wives and children into slavery and opened their own veins. When princes failed to repay the Iron Bank, new princes sprang up from nowhere and took their thrones.
As poor plump Tommen may be about to learn. No doubt the Lannisters had good reason for refusing to honor King Robert's debts, but it was folly all the same. If Stannis was not too stiff-necked to accept their terms, the Braavosi would give him all the gold and silver he required, coin enough to buy a dozen sellsword companies, to bribe a hundred lords, to keep his men paid, fed, clothed, and armed. Unless Stannis is lying dead beneath the walls of Winterfell, he may just have won the Iron Throne. He wondered if Melisandre had seen that in her fires.

- A Dance with Dragons Jon IX
Consider Ned’s unwillingness to defy Robert when he points out the atrocities committed by the Targaryens.

“Nonetheless,” Ned said, “the murder of children … it would be vile … unspeakable …”
“Unspeakable?” the king roared. “What Aerys did to your brother Brandon was unspeakable. The way your lord father died, that was unspeakable. And Rhaegar … how many times do you think he raped your sister? How many hundreds of times?” His voice had grown so loud that his horse whinnied nervously beneath him. The king jerked the reins hard, quieting the animal, and pointed an angry finger at Ned. “I will kill every Targaryen I can get my hands on, until they are as dead as their dragons, and then I will piss on their graves.”
Ned knew better than to defy him when the wrath was on him. If the years had not quenched Robert’s thirst for revenge, no words of his would help. “You can’t get your hands on this one, can you?” he said quietly.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
Ned does not hold the Targaryens collectively responsible for the deaths of his loved ones, insofar as he’s unwilling to use the Mad King’s unjust actions as an excuse to perpetuate the murder of Targaryen children. Ned is appalled that Robert condones the killing of children and he casts Robert’s hatred towards the dragons as irrational.

Ned did not feign surprise; Robert’s hatred of the Targaryens was a madness in him. He remembered the angry words they had exchanged when Tywin Lannister had presented Robert with the corpses of Rhaegar’s wife and children as a token of fealty. Ned had named that murder; Robert called it war. When he had protested that the young prince and princess were no more than babes, his new-made king had replied, “I see no babes. Only dragonspawn.” Not even Jon Arryn had been able to calm that storm. Eddard Stark had ridden out that very day in a cold rage, to fight the last battles of the war alone in the south. It had taken another death to reconcile them; Lyanna’s death, and the grief they had shared over her passing.
This time, Ned resolved to keep his temper. “Your Grace, the girl is scarcely more than a child. You are no Tywin Lannister, to slaughter innocents.” It was said that Rhaegar’s little girl had cried as they dragged her from beneath her bed to face the swords. The boy had been no more than a babe in arms, yet Lord Tywin’s soldiers had torn him from his mother’s breast and dashed his head against a wall.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
When Robert reveals continuing trauma over his defeat of Rhaegar, his vengeance unsatisfied, Ned is oddly silent.

In my dreams, I kill him every night,” Robert admitted. “A thousand deaths will still be less than he deserves.”
There was nothing Ned could say to that. After a quiet, he said, “We should return, Your Grace. Your wife will be waiting.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard I
Ned is disturbed by the notion that Robert would still hate Rhaegar.

Suddenly, uncomfortably, he found himself recalling Rhaegar Targaryen. Fifteen years dead, yet Robert hates him as much as ever. It was a disturbing notion …

- A Game of Thrones Eddard VIII
Ned’s feelings towards Rhaegar are neutral at worst, whereas he often acknowledges and excuses Robert’s faults, such as his uncontrollable rage and lust. If Ned believes Rhaegar is Jon’s father and that Lyanna willingly left with him, his charitable feelings towards Rhaegar might make sense. But then Ned should also realize Robert’s hatred of Targaryens is rational based on the official narrative involving kidnapping, rape, and murder committed by the dragons. If Ned instead suspects Robert is Jon’s father, it reconciles both his neutral feelings towards Rhaegar and incredulity over Robert’s hatred, as he knows Rhaegar’s only ‘crime’ was crowning Lyanna.
Ned is adept at suppressing bitter memories, so the absence of direct thoughts on Robert’s complicity in Lyanna’s abduction shouldn’t be construed as proof that it didn’t happen; Ned doesn’t think about Rhaegar’s complicity either. It’s noteworthy that we see Ned bury thoughts about the circumstances of Jon’s birth in the barrowlands, which are burial grounds:

“Would that we could,” Ned said, “but we have duties now, my liege … to the realm, to our children, I to my lady wife and you to your queen. We are not the boys we were.”
“You were never the boy you were,” Robert grumbled. “More’s the pity. And yet there was that one time … what was her name, that common girl of yours? Becca? No, she was one of mine, gods love her, black hair and these sweet big eyes, you could drown in them. Yours was … Aleena? No. You told me once. Was it Merryl? You know the one I mean, your bastard’s mother?”
“Her name was Wylla,” Ned replied with cool courtesy, “and I would sooner not speak of her.”
“Wylla. Yes.” The king grinned. “She must have been a rare wench if she could make Lord Eddard Stark forget his honor, even for an hour. You never told me what she looked like …”
Ned’s mouth tightened in anger. “Nor will I. Leave it be, Robert, for the love you say you bear me. I dishonored myself and I dishonored Catelyn, in the sight of gods and men.”
“Gods have mercy, you scarcely knew Catelyn.”
“I had taken her to wife. She was carrying my child.”
“You are too hard on yourself, Ned. You always were. Damn it, no woman wants Baelor the Blessed in her bed.” He slapped a hand on his knee. “Well, I’ll not press you if you feel so strong about it, though I swear, at times you’re so prickly you ought to take the hedgehog as your sigil.”
The rising sun sent fingers of light through the pale white mists of dawn. A wide plain spread out beneath them, bare and brown, its flatness here and there relieved by long, low hummocks. Ned pointed them out to his king. “The barrows of the First Men.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
No one objected to Doran locking Arianne in a tower, nor were people too concerned when Baelor locked his sisters in the Maidenvault. Westerosi men treat women as property, and so Ned could forgive Robert for imprisoning his sister, especially as they were betrothed.

A storm of rose petals blew across a blood-streaked sky, as blue as the eyes of death.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard X
Robert Baratheon is a blue-eyed, death-dealing Storm Lord; this passage shows that Ned is at least subconsciously aware of Robert’s culpability in Lyanna’s presence at the tower of joy. It's also widely misconstrued as depicting blue rose petals, when it's actually fairly clear that the sky is blue and the rose petals are red, streaking the sky like blood...
Robert’s genuine grief over Lyanna’s death may permit Ned to absolve Robert of blame; this grief is the reason Ned gives for their reconciliation, after the deaths of Elia's children drove a wedge between them. Interestingly, Robert’s own death scene parallels Lyanna’s death: a bed of blood, squeezing hands and a weak smile, protecting Robert’s bastards, promise me Ned…

Robert took his hand, fingers squeezing hard. “You are … such a bad liar, Ned Stark,” he said through his pain. “The realm … the realm knows … what a wretched king I’ve been. Bad as Aerys, the gods spare me.”
“No,” Ned told his dying friend, “not so bad as Aerys, Your Grace. Not near so bad as Aerys.”
Robert managed a weak red smile. “At the least, they will say … this last thing … this I did right. You won’t fail me. You’ll rule now. You’ll hate it, worse than I did … but you’ll do well. Are you done with the scribbling?”
“Yes, Your Grace.” Ned offered Robert the paper. The king scrawled his signature blindly, leaving a smear of blood across the letter. “The seal should be witnessed.”
“Serve the boar at my funeral feast,” Robert rasped. “Apple in its mouth, skin seared crisp. Eat the bastard. Don’t care if you choke on him. Promise me, Ned.”
“I promise.” Promise me, Ned, Lyanna’s voice echoed.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XIII
vs.

“She should be on a hill somewhere, under a fruit tree, with the sun and clouds above her and the rain to wash her clean.”
“I was with her when she died,” Ned reminded the king. “She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father.” He could hear her still at times. Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses. Promise me, Ned. The fever had taken her strength and her voice had been faint as a whisper, but when he gave her his word, the fear had gone out of his sister’s eyes. Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black. After that he remembered nothing. They had found him still holding her body, silent with grief. The little crannogman, Howland Reed, had taken her hand from his. Ned could recall none of it. “I bring her flowers when I can,” he said. “Lyanna was … fond of flowers.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard I
Once Ned realized that the rebels lied about Lyanna and Rhaegar's disappearance, outing the truth was unthinkable. Too many had already fought and died based on a malicious lie, and the truth would thrust the realm further into rebellion. Ned had a duty to protect what family remained to him, including both his newborn son Robb and Jon Snow, the son of his beloved sister. Yet notice how Ned stopped visiting Robert and never sent envoys to King’s Landing to leverage advantages for the North, despite his favor with the king. It’s as if Ned was avoiding Robert. So perhaps ‘promise me Ned’ was about keeping Jon’s parentage a secret, as Robert might stupidly try to legitimize his son by his beloved Lyanna, raising dangerous questions.

And when you have it, what then? Some secrets are safer kept hidden. Some secrets are too dangerous to share, even with those you love and trust. Ned slid the dagger that Catelyn had brought him out of the sheath on his belt. The Imp’s knife. Why would the dwarf want Bran dead? To silence him, surely. Another secret, or only a different strand of the same web?

- A Game of Thrones Eddard VIII
Ned cannot tell Catelyn the truth of Jon’s parentage because she’s a political climber and may support his legitimization for her own children’s sake. If Jon is the heir to the throne, Arya or Sansa could be married to him. Robb’s claim to Winterfell would not longer be under threat, and he could leverage diplomatic advantages as Jon’s ally. The Tully creed of "Family, Duty, Honor" has imbued Catelyn with fatal blindspots when it comes to advancing her children's interests.
Jon is hidden when Robert comes to visit, consistent with preventing the king from making a connection between Jon's birth and Lyanna's death.

“I glimpsed him once at Winterfell,” the queen said, “though the Starks did their best to hide him. He looks very like his father.”

- A Feast for Crows Cersei IV
Jon takes after his mother Lyanna, and he more closely resembles Robert than Rhaegar, with his dark brown hair and almost black eyes. Varys tells Tyrion he knows of eight bastards fathered by Robert, all black of hair; he says nothing of their eye color, and Varys is manipulative, so it would be unwise to take him at his word. If Maggy the Frog’s prophecy is correct, only about half of Robert’s children are accounted for; others may not resemble Robert so closely. Having a subset of children who resemble you does not guarantee they all will, and it’s not uncommon in real life for people to have a legitimate child who looks different from their siblings. Arya is an example of this, as all her full-blooded siblings take after Catelyn while she’s the only one who looks like Ned.
Ned’s research into couplings between Lannisters and Baratheons show black-haired offspring, and so he assumes the gold will always yield to the coal. There’s no evidence that he also assumes the cold will yield to the coal, that Baratheon seed is dominant over Stark genes. Ned misconstrues how genetics works, and we shouldn’t assume Martin doesn’t understand this. In the real world, it’s possible to have a history of a certain genetic outcome which is broken once enough new blood enters a lineage. In fact, fair-haired Laenor and Laena Velaryon, whose grandmother was Jocelyn Baratheon, demonstrate that Baratheon genetic traits can be diluted.

The seed is strong, Jon Arryn had cried on his deathbed, and so it was. All those bastards, all with hair as black as night. Grand Maester Malleon recorded the last mating between stag and lion, some ninety years ago, when Tya Lannister wed Gowen Baratheon, third son of the reigning lord. Their only issue, an unnamed boy described in Malleon’s tome as a large and lusty lad born with a full head of black hair, died in infancy. Thirty years before that a male Lannister had taken a Baratheon maid to wife. She had given him three daughters and a son, each black-haired. No matter how far back Ned searched in the brittle yellowed pages, always he found the gold yielding before the coal.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XII
Some think Ned hid Jon’s lineage because Robert would kill Jon if he suspected he was Targaryen, despite Ned’s surprise at Robert’s commitment to murdering Targaryen heirs and despite Ned insisting Robert wouldn’t harm his loved ones.

Ned shook his head, refusing to believe. “Robert would never harm me or any of mine. We were closer than brothers. He loves me. If I refuse him, he will roar and curse and bluster, and in a week we will laugh about it together. I know the man!”
“You knew the man,” she said. “The king is a stranger to you.” Catelyn remembered the direwolf dead in the snow, the broken antler lodged deep in her throat. She had to make him see. “Pride is everything to a king, my lord. Robert came all this way to see you, to bring you these great honors, you cannot throw them back in his face.”

- A Game of Thrones Catelyn II
Ned’s concern for Jon’s life didn’t prevent him from allowing Jon to take a dangerous vocation at the Wall. Sending Jon to the Wall makes even more sense if his potential claim to the throne would cause a political upheaval. This may be true whether he’s Robert or Rhaegar’s son, though it’s more important to keep this secret if he’s the son of Robert, as it has greater potential to damage Ned’s allies. The fact that Ned was willing to lie to Jon about what the Night’s Watch really is, sending him to a bleak, cold penal colony, is in line with Ned being an unwilling liar whose honor falls short when it threatens to undermine his king.

The thought of Jon filled Ned with a sense of shame, and a sorrow too deep for words. If only he could see the boy again, sit and talk with him … pain shot through his broken leg, beneath the filthy grey plaster of his cast. He winced, his fingers opening and closing helplessly. “Is this your own scheme,” he gasped out at Varys, “or are you in league with Littlefinger?”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XV
Ned recalls Lyanna’s misgivings about Robert’s nature and the promises he made to her after visiting Robert’s bastard by a girl so young he was afraid to ask her age (a girl who incidentally resembles Sansa in age and hair color).

“Robert will never keep to one bed,” Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm’s End. “I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale.” Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. “Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.”
The girl had been so young Ned had not dared to ask her age. No doubt she’d been a virgin; the better brothels could always find a virgin, if the purse was fat enough. She had light red hair and a powdering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, and when she slipped free a breast to give her nipple to the babe, he saw that her bosom was freckled as well. “I named her Barra,” she said as the child nursed. “She looks so like him, does she not, milord? She has his nose, and his hair …”
“She does.” Eddard Stark had touched the baby’s fine, dark hair. It flowed through his fingers like black silk. Robert’s firstborn had had the same fine hair, he seemed to recall.
“Tell him that when you see him, milord, as it … as it please you. Tell him how beautiful she is.”
“I will,” Ned had promised her. That was his curse. Robert would swear undying love and forget them before evenfall, but Ned Stark kept his vows. He thought of the promises he’d made Lyanna as she lay dying, and the price he’d paid to keep them.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard IX
The king buys and lies to virgin whores and he fathers bastards like it’s a competition, but Ned could excuse Robert fathering a bastard on his sister because they were betrothed, after all, and the gods fill men with lust.

She had smiled then, a smile so tremulous and sweet that it cut the heart out of him. Riding through the rainy night, Ned saw Jon Snow’s face in front of him, so like a younger version of his own. If the gods frowned so on bastards, he thought dully, why did they fill men with such lusts? “Lord Baelish, what do you know of Robert’s bastards?”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard IX
Ned thinks about Jon Snow in relation to Robert’s bastards and lusts, then contrasts Robert to Rhaegar who wasn’t the type to visit brothels. Ned thinks that he hadn’t thought of Rhaegar in years; if Jon was Rhaegar’s, wouldn’t Ned think about him more often? This also establishes Ned as not particularly self-aware, as he does in fact think about Rhaegar on page before this.

There was no answer Ned Stark could give to that but a frown. For the first time in years, he found himself remembering Rhaegar Targaryen. He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard IX
Ned’s friendship with Robert conditioned him to excuse male adultery, and so if R+L=J, he could excuse Rhaegar’s unfaithfulness to his wife. While Ned may hold himself to a higher standard in his own marriage, he can forgive a man for acting on his natural urges.
Ned does not extend his charitable take on adultery to Cersei, whose crime is not so different from what Lyanna is alleged to have done. Lyanna did not commit incest as Cersei did nor did she forsake her own marriage vows, yet if Ned believes Rhaegar is Jon’s father, he’s accepted that his sister broke her betrothal and disregarded the crown prince’s marriage vows, leaving two young children without their father, and bore a bastard. If Jon is a Targaryen, his lineage may legally permit him to commit incest, which Cersei would see as hypocritical.
Ned’s reaction to Cersei’s infidelity is partly informed by the importance of inheritance and legitimacy in their feudal society. Noble Westerosi women are conditioned to place their duty to their families ahead of their own lusts, a standard which is not imposed on men as seriously. It’s much easier to confirm a child’s mother than it is to establish paternity, which is why women are held to more strict sexual standards. Ned’s frigid sexual relations with Catelyn may even convince him that women are less driven by lust than men. Even so, Ned’s reaction to Cersei’s infidelity was primarily motivated by bias against House Lannister and loyalty to Robert. Consider that Ned hates Jaime, who killed a man who murdered Ned’s family, because vows involving loyalty to one’s king are very important to him.

His sword helped taint the throne you sit on, Ned thought, but he did not permit the words to pass his lips. “He swore a vow to protect his king’s life with his own. Then he opened that king’s throat with a sword.”
“Seven hells, someone had to kill Aerys!” Robert said, reining his mount to a sudden halt beside an ancient barrow. “If Jaime hadn’t done it, it would have been left for you or me.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard II
Ned is inflexible about his sense of honor when applied to the Lannisters, whom he views as child murderers and oathbreakers, yet Ned bends his ethics for his family and king. For instance, he hates Tywin for his role in the murders of Rhaegar’s children, yet remains loyal to Robert who also condones the murder of children.
Ned took Theon hostage to keep Balon in check, and would have executed him in service to his king. He essentially held a child mortally liable for his father’s actions, which is the same justification Ned uses for rising against Aerys. So would Ned have followed through with executing Theon, despite defying Robert over the assassination of Dany and her unborn child?

Even inside fur-lined gloves, Theon’s hands had begun to throb with pain. It was often his hands that hurt the worst, especially his missing fingers. Had there truly been a time when women yearned for his touch? I made myself the Prince of Winterfell, he thought, and from that came all of this. He had thought that men would sing of him for a hundred years and tell tales of his daring. But if anyone spoke of him now, it was as Theon Turncloak, and the tales they told were of his treachery. This was never my home. I was a hostage here. Lord Stark had not treated him cruelly, but the long steel shadow of his greatsword had always been between them. He was kind to me, but never warm. He knew that one day he might need to put me to death.

- A Dance with Dragons The Prince of Winterfell
Ned also lies for his family, making his indictment of the Lannisters somewhat hypocritical. He claims his wife abducted Tyrion on his orders, when he had in fact ordered her to go home and prepare the north for war. He does not hold Catelyn responsible for the deaths of his men, which Jaime ordered in retaliation for Tyrion’s abduction, no more than he held Robert and his own allies responsible for the indirect consequences of abducting Lyanna and lying about it, including her death and the deaths of his father, brother, and countrymen.

“Pycelle swears it will heal clean,” Robert frowned. “I take it you know what Catelyn has done?”
“I do.” Ned took a small swallow of wine. “My lady wife is blameless, Your Grace. All she did she did at my command.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard X
If Ned’s mind had not been clouded by the milk of the poppy, he may have had the foresight to understand the danger he placed his own family in by informing Cersei of the discovery of her children’s illegitimacy. He gave them a chance to flee out of concern for the lives of innocents, but sadly, Ned's sense of justice is unable to account for the indirect consequences of actions (except when applied retroactively to people he dislikes) and his mercy backfired. The meeting between Cersei and Ned in the godswood reveals that he would bend his ethics for his own children’s sake.

Ned thought, If it came to that, the life of some child I did not know, against Robb and Sansa and Arya and Bran and Rickon, what would I do? Even more so, what would Catelyn do, if it were Jon’s life, against the children of her body? He did not know. He prayed he never would.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XII
Ned is thus the type of man who would willingly dishonor himself, lying or even allowing innocents to be killed, for the sake of protecting his own. Even Ned’s final act was a lie, choosing to dishonor himself to protect Sansa.

Her father raised his voice still higher, straining to be heard. “I betrayed the faith of my king and the trust of my friend, Robert,” he shouted. “I swore to defend and protect his children, yet before his blood was cold, I plotted to depose and murder his son and seize the throne for myself. Let the High Septon and Baelor the Beloved and the Seven bear witness to the truth of what I say: Joffrey Baratheon is the one true heir to the Iron Throne, and by the grace of all the gods, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.”

- A Game of Thrones Arya V
Lord Eddard Stark embodies a simple truth, that the road to hell is paved with the best intentions. He is as grey as the direwolf on his sigil, a man who chose lesser evils out of a genuine desire to do good, who nonetheless perpetuated injustice. Let Ned serve as a lesson to readers, the lesson he should have taken from the dead direwolf in the snow: the man who passes the sentence might swing the sword, but apply due diligence first, and reserve harsh judgement unless guilt is certain. This lesson should be balanced against the understanding that failure to act can be just as harmful as decisive action, as was the case when the quiet wolf allowed the expensive Hand's Tourney to go forth despite the crown's massive debts. Ultimately, even the best among us will be tested with impossible moral dilemmas, and so it's important to have the capacity to show ourselves and others flexibility and forgiveness.

The damning conclusion? That the United States government had escalated the war all the while knowing that it was on the losing side of the equation. The report also confirmed that JFK’s administration had helped to overthrow and assassinate Ngo Dinh Diem, the leader of the South Vietnamese government, which America supported. If our own government had no faith in our allies and our capabilities, then why the hell, readers of the Times and the Post wondered, were we still sending our men to be killed in Vietnam?
Support for the war at home was eroding daily; the protests were increasing, with voices calling, louder and louder, for an end to the conflict. Rebellion was brewing even from within the “silent majority.” Most of the POW/MIA wives had been in this camp for years. They had been trained to be strong government and military supporters, but they were now completely disgusted with Washington politics. Their suspicions about the war and those leading it were confirmed. McNamara was now right up there with Cora Weiss as a target of their ire. They knew to be wary of antiwar figures, but McNamara? Wasn’t he supposed to be on their side?
The Nixon administration was not implicated in the Pentagon Papers, though the president was incensed to see classified government reports leaked to the public. Instead of seeing the papers as a potential help, separating his administration’s policy on Vietnam from those of JFK and LBJ, “the leak of the Pentagon Papers brought forth a profound paranoia in Richard Nixon… The ultimate manifestation of this drive was the White House Special Investigations Unit, informally referred to as the Plumbers, whose first assignment was to raid the offices of Ellsberg’s psychiatrist. Later, members of the group would carry out one final mission, the Watergate break-in, which ultimately cost Nixon the very thing he had sought to defend: his presidency.”

- The League of Wives: The Untold Story of the Women Who Took On the U.S. Government to Bring Their Husbands Home Heath Hardage Lee
Look here to see this series in its full audio/visual glory with greater detail.

In the last 6 months I dove headfirst into the world of nail polish and through this sub found out about Bee's Knees Lacquer. I tried Syria, a beautiful sparkly red, realized it didn't chip even though I washed my hair immediately after it had dried, and realized I was now loyal for life to a brand that was no longer regularly producing polishes lol.
I was fortunate enough to by chance see posts on this sub about the liquidation sales they had in March and May the day of the sale, but once I realized these might be sporadically happening I didn't want to chance finding out about one too late or not finding out at all. So I did it. I logged into the facebook account I haven't touched since I made it 5+ years ago and I joined the Bee's Knees Buzz group.
But what was this? A group where you could buy BKL polishes at reasonable prices? I cautiously posted a request for The Mask, a polish which I was almost able to get at the May sale and broke my heart I didn't prioritize. And almost immediately I received an offer!
Soon I was constantly refreshing the page, hoping someone would post a 'for sale' listing for a polish I wanted and I managed to pick up quite a few I thought I'd never be able to have. I'm not even going to start on the Nearly No Rules Nail Polish Sales group. I put up my In Search Of list and within 2 hours I'd gotten more offers than I had on the weeks it was up in the BKL trades group (but it's definitely harder to get polishes listed for sale since most are bidding wars and the ask prices regularly go to $100 a bottle)
While it was definitely a bit scary at first messaging strangers and sending money to them, everyone's been really kind and it's been so much fun looking at what other people have in their collections. So I guess TLDR, I love the facebook swap groups (but also hate how much I've spent through them LOL)