... and I feel amazing. I actually made it the whole weekend. I even went to a relative's graduation party yesterday & to a local hangout today for an event. Alcohol was flowing like rivers, but I had no urge to drink any of it. I had my Rtic cup full of ice water & I was good.
I even bought healthy food for the week today instead of alcohol & junk meals.
My mind is clear. I feel focused. I'm making better choices. It's like a weight has been lifted. I felt chained down for so long, but now I feel free. I don't want this feeling to ever go away.
Tomorrow will be one week sober. I'm determined to keep it going. Have a great week, y'all! ❤️

I went from thinking “I’m gonna crush these steps today” to “I don’t think I can walk back to my car”. I felt like hell. I went home early and forced water. Forced real food.
My disorder is pissed and screaming at me. I reached my GW and these acts of self-care go against everything I’ve been trying to achieve. I feel horrible for what I ate and for sitting on the couch now. But I have a fear of letting the ED rise to a medical intervention level. I’d be more pissed if I needed an IV and had to pay for that. That’s my main motivation. But I’m struggling to accept this was the right decision.

Hello
I'd like you to imagine that, in 2017, Activision did not publish Call of Duty: WWII but instead Call of Duty: Eternal. This is a story which is very much the same as what Call of Duty: WWII transpired as but with a couple of significant differences. For a start, it's not set during World War Two - it's set in a fantasy world with a 1940s/50s level of technology. A global war is raging between mankind and Orks, with the Orks having conquered great tracts of the world, and the story opening with the efforts by humanity to retake "Albion" from Ork occupation. I like to imagine the faces of Call of Duty fans when the first trailer came out and, seeing what looked like D-Day, got excited that at last the franchise was going back to its roots - only to see that the enemies are Orks and the main character is a Lenape woman.
To help with this imagining - below you'll find the full script for the first mission of Call of Duty: Eternal, based on the first mission of Call of Duty: WWII. The rest will gradually follow.
You might find it useful to follow along using this video - a walkthrough (no commentary, thank God) of the actual first mission in Call of Duty: WWII to help with visualising it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7y1bDQBEhA
Call of Duty: Eternal Mission 1 X-Day
Text slowly appears on-screen:
The world is bathed in flames.
The Ork clans, united for the first time in centuries, are on the march.
Man faces extermination.
A human skull is shown before an Ork boot comes down on it, shattering it.
Radio broadcast: With unmatched ferocity, the Ork war machine has launched its onslaught against the world… mankind faces the abyss.
The camera pans up on the Ork boot to show an Ork soldier as, behind him, Ork soldiers and tanks move through a devastated city.
Radio broadcast: As we brace for our darkest hour, we must summon our strength to be the bulwark against oppression.
Ork bombers are shown bombing London, recognisable for the Thames if not for the architecture. They are four-engine bombers, like B-17s, and the camera closes in on a propeller which shifts to a ceiling fan.
Radio broadcast: The Ork onslaught will be the greatest test we'll ever face.
The camera pans down from the ceiling fan Mona Kanti, a young Lenape woman and the protagonist, is shown joining the Imperial Armed Forces. She stands in a line in a recruitment office as a recruitment officer stamps her papers.
Radio broadcast: But face it and defeat it… we must.
To punctuate the “we must,” a sudden cut to black with the sound cut out. Then, we hear the voice of the Ork Primarch. A speech plays, meant to mirror FDR’s D-Day Prayer, with shots of the Ork war machine we’ve been hearing so much about.
Primarch: With this war we set upon a mighty endeavour.
Fade from black to show huge lines of Ork soldiers in formation, like big Nazi rallies, are shown.
Primarch: A struggle to restore our civilization…
Ork soldiers on one knee in this rally are shown, closer up, dressed in battle gear and their faces daubed in war paint.
Primarch: …and to set free a suffering people.
A view from the rear of the rally, with the vast architecture of the Primarch’s palace shown looming over it all, resembling the Palace of the Soviets.
Primarch: Our Sons. Pride of our Clans.
Another panning shot of the assembled Orks, this time from the side.
Primarch: May the Mother lead them straight and true.
An Ork mystic, on the balcony overlooking the assembly, blesses the troops with hands raised to the sky.
Primarch: The road will be glorious. Men's souls will be broken with the beauty of war.
A shot from behind the mystic, seeing the assembled troops stretching towards the horizon.
Primarch: In this time of fire and blood…
The face of one Ork soldier is shown up close.
Primarch: …we shall prevail.
With the slightest of grimaces, the Ork uses a knife – and, in the background, we see the others doing the same – to ritualistically slice his forehead and let blood trickle down.
The cutscene then shifts to the Imperial Navy ships, including battleships of a scale similar to the Super Yamato, that are heading for the beaches of Albion. Mona Kanti is writing a letter to her sister, Luna Kanti, and we hear her voice-over as we view shots of the fleet.
Kanti (narrating): Luna. Oh, I wish you could see this, sister. An armada from one horizon to the next. I turned sixteen too late to help free Ériu. But not Albion – and it’s gonna be tougher. Much tougher. You know, I think I could bear the blood, and the misery… and the Orks. But the waiting… well, that’s a whole other battle.
Inside the troopship living quarters. We are now in first-person as Kanti. Kanti is sat at a table, hanging out and talking with her squad-mates Kinsi Rei (female Somali; shaved head), Thea Adlai, (female Swedish; ginger, freckles, glasses) and Ren Tao (male Chinese). Ren Tao is eighteen – the others are all sixteen. Bunks are stretched out behind them and other soldiers, of all ethnicities and sexes, walk by throughout. Rei is holding court while playing with a knife, every now and then jabbing between her fingers.
Rei: So she asks me for my watch and I'm thinking, "what in the Nether do you want my watch for; your parents make like fifty times mine!" But I turn around, and I felt this punch. And it's cold like ice.
Some of the dialogue is drowned out by Kanti’s narration. Every now and then, Kanti glances down at her fingers as she snaps them, but whatever she’s trying to do with that isn’t happening.
Kanti (narrating): Believe it or not, I managed to make some half-decent friends in Basic. All scared as can be. But nobody’s letting on.
Rei keeps playing her knife game as she talks.
Kanti (narrating): I hated Rei when I met her – and now she's my best friend. Funny how that works. She's always looking for trouble. If there wasn't already a war on she'd be off trying to start one.
Rei offers her knife to Thea Adlai and, though we can’t hear her given the narration, seems to be asking her if she wants to try the knife game. Adlai refuses.
Adlai: Besides, I gotta keep all my fingers if I'm gonna take photo of the year.
Kanti (narrating): Adlai says she's gonna be a photographer for a fashion magazine. She’s got a good eye. Except when she takes off her glasses – then she can’t see shit.
Rei offers her knife to Kanti and Kanti turns to Ren Tao.
Kanti (narrating): Tao's the vet but, if I’m honest, he's what kokomi would call “a bit of a bumpkin.”
Ren Tao is tempted to play Rei’s knife game.
Tao: Okay, okay. Let's make this interesting.
Rei: It’s not interesting? Kanti – what’re you doing?
She says this in reference to Kanti’s finger-snapping.
Kanti (narrating): I swear I used to be able to do this…
Tao: So you keep saying.
Tao take off his talisman and dangles it in front of Rei.
Tao: Xu Yaling. Spirit of war.
Adlai: And sex, right?
Tao: Sssh. (Rei and Adlai laugh) He's had my back since Sabha. And, yeah, that’s real gold. (drops the talisman down on the table) Rei, three times in ten seconds, and he's all yours. (Sits back down)
Rei: I don't know.
Tao: Oh, you could always wimp out. That’s a choice, too.
Kanti: My money's on Rei.
Rei: Okay. Okay, I'm in.
Adlai: I can't watch.
Tao: I can.
Rei looks to Adlai.
Rei: Just time me when I tell you. Back to my story – me and my girls, we muscled our way into this chess game that the wrestling team had going. We had a bona-fide genius among us – but it was me playing. We worked out a system where she can signal to me what moves to make. You should have seen the Head Girl’s face when I took that pot. (To Adlai) You ready? That's what happens when you try to hustle a hustler. Now…
Rei plays the knife game while Adlai times her and wins the bet in a few impressive seconds.
Rei: Checkmate!
Tao: There ain’t no way!
Kanti (narrating): Tao had enough fight in him for two men.
Rei: Much obliged.
Rei offers to shake hands with Tao.
Tao: My mother told me never touch a Nube.
Rei doesn’t flinch but you can tell she’s ready to throw hands. Instead…
Rei: That's not what she said last night.
Rei winks and Tao shakes her hand.
Kanti (narrating): And enough bigotry for six.
Tao: Meh, who needs a stupid talisman anyway.
Rei: Apparently, you did. Here, have it back.
Tao: You won it.
Rei: It’s fake gold.
Tao: What? No, no, no, that’s as real as you or I.
Rei: A hustler always knows.
Tao: Ah, whatever, if it’s fake I don’t want it. I'm gonna get something better. A real trophy. You'll see.
Rei: Good luck with that.
Kanti snaps her fingers and finally produces what she wanted – a finger of flame, like a lighter, appears.
Kanti: I did it! Look, look, I did it!
Rei: Well, by Baphometh, isn’t that something?
Tao: That’s very pretty, Kanti. You’re ready to take on the Primarch, I should think.
Rei: She was always ready. Right Kanti?
Tao: You got any healing spells we could use or is it all evil magic with you?
Kanti: Well-
Rei: Oh, go on, tell him, Kanti! Tell him about that thing you can do!
Adlai: What thing?
Rei: And there’s no such thing as good and evil magic. Just good and evil people.
Kanti: It’s not that I can do it; it’s just that it happens sometimes. When someone’s dead I can kinda, you know, see into their past. But they have to of died recently. And I can’t do it with most people.
Tao: Well, we’re invading Fortress Albion, my friend. Good time to find yourself some corpses.
Rei: Maybe even your own.
Adlai: Hey, Kanti, do that spell again for the camera.
Adlai raises her camera then, seeing her watch, realizes that they are late for the mission briefing.
Adlai: Oh! Never mind, briefing’s at 18:00; we're gonna be late!
Adlai jumps up and runs from the room. The others also stand.
Tao: Run, little mouse.
Rei: I got us covered Kanti; don't worry about it (Showing the pendant to Kanti and winking). It is real gold.
As Kanti and Rei leave the living quarters, they encounter Khand, their turban-wearing sergeant, and in terms of personality very much a cranky sergeant stereotype.
Khand: Briefing's about to start; what in the Nether are you idiots doing?
Kanti (narrating): Then there's Sergeant Khand. He’s a sweetheart.
Khand: Oh, you think you're special, huh? The Orks are gonna eat you alive.
Rei: No, not me, sergeant. I’m high in salt.
Khand: Watch your lip, Rei. On me.
Khand leaves. The other two move to follow.
Rei: Since I'm obviously on a lucky streak, whatever happens, stay close. First Albion, then the Great Pale, then home in time for tea and medals. We got this, Kanti.
Scene fades out.
All of the 66th Infantry Division troops are on the deck of the ship as the rain pours down and Colonel Kitwana, a Swahili man, gives his pre-battle speech. As he does, we see the soldiers assembled watching him.
Kitwana: Today… we embark on an operation of unparalleled importance. To establish a beachhead in Albion… and roll back the Ork horde... that has terrorized the world since before many of you were born. We are all that separates the world from darkness. This is so much more than a chance to be heroes in our own lifetimes. If we prevail… our triumphs will be etched into the hearts and minds of a grateful world for untold generations. I'm talking about glory. True glory.
Kanti narrates her letter to Luna and soldiers begin to climb down the cargo net on the side of the ship into landing craft. These craft start making for the Albion coast.
Kanti (narrating): Colonel Kitwana can give a nice speech. His pep talk reminded me of the one Coach Pakwa gave us on our Mother’s Night game against Susquehanna. I'm sure you remember we lost by 67 points. (Focuses on Sokolov and Khand) Always looking over Khand’s shoulders is Lieutenant Sokolov. He's got him on a tight leash. But if Khand breaks free, we'll all get bit. Ever since I found my gift, I wanted to be like you, Luna. You've always been a tough act to follow. But I'll do my best.
Gameplay​
We are now in first-person again as Kanti.
Kanti (narrating): It's now or never.
Kanti is writing in her notebook, the photo of Luna pinned to a page, as their landing craft drives for the Albion shore. Kanti is interrupted by Rei.
Rei: Hey! I wish I was coming home to her!
Kanti: That’s my sister! Just wait ‘til we hit Lutetia. Enough girls for the rest of your long life.
Rei: I’m starting to realise how far away it is.
Kanti take a quick glance at her notebook and closes it before tucking it into her pack.
Sokolov: Remember. No digging in at the shore. You advance. You need to stay low and do not bunch up. Stick to your training and you're gonna make it through.
Khand: Most of you, anyway.
Medium bombers pass by overhead, resembling the Junkers Ju 88 (in this universe known as Dragons) on a heading towards Albion.
Tao: Alright! Give em hell, boys.
Text appears across the screen.
X-DAY Lùnastal 17th, 397 NE Rheged, Northern Albion
Rei: The beaches are meant to be flattened, right?
Khand: You sound scared, Private.
Rei: No, sir.
Khand: You should be.
Driver: Hey, you! You!
Kanti turns to look at the landing craft’s driver behind her.
Driver: Got a light?
Kanti: Sure thing.
Kanti snaps her fingers a couple times and produces the flame again.
Driver: Oh – you’re one of them.
Soldier: Never trust a witch.
As the driver lights his cigarette on her finger, a bullet hits the boat’s machine gunner in the throat; he falls, flailing, with blood spurting out of his neck like in a Tarantino film. Shells start to fall.
Driver: Bastards!
Sokolov: Everyone down!
Rei: This is it!
Ork artillery lands in the grey ocean all around, spraying the craft with water. Kanti crouches with the rest of the troops.
Soldier: Watch out!
Bullets bounce off the landing craft’s armour.
Soldier: This isn’t fun!
Driver: Five hundred yards!
Another shell lands nearby and sprays the craft with water. Kanti trips but is held up by Khand grabbing her arm.
Driver: We’re gonna have to pull off!
Sokolov: No, we stay on mission! You're taking us in!
Driver: We must have drifted! I can't see the landmark!
Khand: You heard the lieutenant. Full speed!
Sokolov: Incoming!
An artillery shells blows up the neighbouring landing craft.
Soldier: By the Gods!
Sokolov: Hold tight!
An artillery shell, again, lands near the boat.
Kanti: Damn it!
Driver: Two hundred yards!
Looking up, a Dragon bomber is visible coming down with an engine on fire.
Driver: Twenty seconds!
Sokolov: Remember the plan! Get to the seawall!
Khand: Ceres! Aradove! Get the bangalore to the wire, fast! Everyone ready? Here we go!
Sokolov: Drop the ramp!
Driver: There's no cover!
Khand: That was an order, damn you! Drop it!
The ramp drops just as a landing craft consumed with flames comes crashing into theirs.
Rei: Oh, shit!
Kanti is knocked off her feet by the impact. Looking up, she watches as machine gun fire from the clifftops chops down a number of soldiers on the boat now that the ramp has been dropped. One has his head blown off and his neck is left spouting blood over Kanti as others are also cut down.
Sokolov: Over the sides! Now! Now!
Kanti follows as the survivors climb over the boat’s side. She stays underwater for a few seconds before being helped to her feet by Sokolov, spluttering.
Sokolov: I got you, child!
Just behind him, the beach is consumed by fighting and the noise of war is deafening.
Sokolov: Get your head down and keep moving!
Sokolov leads Kanti out of the surf, a burning soldier falls screaming from another landing craft and into the water, while carnage reigns all around. Bodies are floating all about and the water is red with blood.
Sokolov: Kanti; on me!
Running through the sand as explosions go off all around, artillery can be seen curling from the Ork lines towards the beach. Sokolov and Kanti hit the deck in front of some Ork tank traps.
Sokolov: Demolition team is dead! Take the bangalore and get to the seawall! We need to clear a path to the bunkers!
Kanti temporarily looks away, back to the water, and witnesses the bloodshed of soldiers dying, and a number running out of a landing craft on fire, while a warship close to shore opens fire on the coastal defences. Sokolov gets Kanti’s attention.
Sokolov: Kanti!
An explosion goes off nearby, half-soaking Sokolov’s face with gore. Someone just blew up.
Sokolov: This is your job! You got that?! Now pick up the banger!
Kanti moves the severed arm of a dead soldier to retrieve the bangalore. She looks upon the dead soldier’s corpse and, suddenly, her vision fades away and she sees his memories. This is the first of the Internal Vortex collectibles which can be found throughout the game, whereby additional lore is provided through Kanti’s ability to tap into the memories of certain corpses (human and Ork). In this case, the accessed memory tells a brief story of the soldier (Private Omid Afshani) and how he was part of a traditional military family and all his brothers have already fallen, told he would be a general someday, how he was born on a ship evacuating Persia (which goes some way to explaining why the Imperial military is so multiethnic – the whole world evacuated to the Americas) and how his last letter home from the ship told of how “I can’t wait to hear the birdsong again.”
Afterwards, she returns to lucidity.
Sokolov: Kanti! Kanti! You with me?!
Kanti: Yes!
Sokolov: You can do this!
Sokolov stands and starts running up the beach. Kanti watches after him.
Kanti: I hope so, sir!
Kanti looks at the dead soldier that was carrying the torpedo bangalore, and with one hand closes his eyes.
Kanti: Sorry.
Kanti takes the body’s R7 Remi rifle (comparable to the M1 Garand) and proceeds up the beachhead, trying not to get killed. The machine gun nests in the clifftop fortifications will open fire on the soldiers then wait for a few seconds to reload. This will be the player's chance to move up to avoid taking damage. The player moves from cover to cover – tank traps, the wreckage of vehicles such as half-tracks and light tanks, and shell craters, mostly.
Khand: Hurry before they reload! Move it!
Sokolov: Kanti! This way! Hurry! Stop and you’re dread!
Tao: Shit!
Sokolov: Those MGs are killing us! Get off the beach!
Khand: Private Kanti – get to the seawall!
Rei: Get to the seawall! I’ll meet you there!
A couple of armoured vehicles – light tanks resembling Soviet BT-7s, here called LT-5 Termites – are now also moving up the beach and providing fire support. One blows up.
Sokolov: Keep low. When there’s a break in the fire, run for it!
There’s a break in the fire – you run for it.
Sokolov: Kanti, get the bangalore!
When Kanti reaches the seawall, which is made up of a big mound of sand lined at its top by barbed fire and burning gasoline, she falls against it. Her fellow soldiers fall in alongside her or are already there. A lot of wounded are also there, being treated by medics as machine gun fire flies over their heads. Rei falls next to Kanti, her face covered in dirt and blood.
Rei: Kanti! Use the banger; I'll cover you! After we breach, keep pushing toward the bunker!
Kanti: You’re covered in blood.
Rei: It’s not mine. Focus!
Kanti sets up the torpedo bangalore, made up of two cylindrical rods, with the second able to fit inside the first. Her handling is shaky and she drops one rod. Rei picks it up for her and gives it back.
Rei: We're nearly there!
Kanti pushes the torpedo bangalore into the seawall.
Rei: Pull it! Pull it!
Kanti: Fire in the hole!
Kanti scrambles backwards and the bangalore explodes, tearing a hole in the seawall for the soldiers to pour through, dirt pouring down like rain.
Sokolov: Weapons ready! Fix bayonets!
Kanti fumbles for her bayonet and fixes it to her rifle. You can now use this as a melee weapon against enemy infantry.
Rei: Ready to see your first Ork?
Sokolov: Attack!
Sokolov leads the troops through the hole – and many, though not Sokolov, are cut down.
Rei: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Sokolov: Push forward!
After passing through the hole, you are faced with a clearing sprinkled with tank traps and barbed wire. After that, trenches, and then the bluffs with fortifications spitting machine gun fire.
Rei: Into the trench! Hurry!
Soldier: Orks!
You now face your first Ork drones as you push towards the trenches. Once you get into the trench, you slowly clear it and a mortar position, presumably losing Health as you do. Once done, you turn a corner deeper into the trenches where Rei is located.
Rei: That wound looks bad! Here, take this!
Rei throws a health pack to Kanti. The player can now call on Rei, when the squad meter fills, to add a pack for a total of four.
Kanti: Many thanks!
The player moves through the trenches, clearing out Ork drones. Friendly troops leap across the trenches. The player then gets to the end of the trenches and reaches the bluffs covered by Ork fortifications. A slope goes uphill between the bluffs but machine gun fire pins the friendly troops down and makes it impassable.
Khand: We can't advance with those MGs firing on our position!
Sokolov: Hold tight. Fire support incoming!
Khand: Kanti, mark the target!
Khand throws a canister to Kanti. Kanti catches it and throws it uphill towards the Ork bunkers. Red smoke emanates. Sokolov is shouting into a radio.
Sokolov: Kestrel, target is lit up! Hit it now and hit it hard!
Radio: Roger, we have your smoke visual. Attack run inbound.
Explosions hit the MG bunker as rockets from a trio of dive-bombing jets which resemble de Havilland Vampires (in this universe called Banshees) come in and obliterate the fortifications. The jets pass by close overhead.
Tao: That's it! Let 'em have it!
Adlai: MGs are dead!
Kanti: (laughs) They tore them to shreds!
Sokolov: Get to the top!
You and your squad move up the hill – a wounded Ork, both arms missing, stumbles from the smoke and still tries to fight by biting at Sokolov. Sokolov shoots it down.
Sokolov: Crazy bastards.
More Ork infantry advance.
Ork: I shall wear your hide as a coat!
After defeating these Orks, the player advances to the top of the hill through which additional trenches burrow.
Sokolov: Kanti; I need you and Rei to take point and clear those bunkers! Go!
Rei: Had to be us!
You move in with your squad. There are five bunkers to clear. The first has a clearing full of mortar positions, where Ork infantry defend, and there’s more firing at you from inside the bunker itself.
Sokolov: Orks are dug in. Kanti, get a grenade in that bunker!
You break into the bunker and clear it out, including the machine gun post covering the beach.
Rei: First one’s down!
Sokolov: Bunker’s clear – everyone out.
You move on. Taking the adjoining trenches, you come across an Ork Officer – larger and more heavily armoured than the Drones you’ve been fighting so far – holding a human soldier by the neck. Assuming you shoot him in the head, the only non-armoured part, he’ll go down and the soldier is saved.
Soldier: Thanks! I owe you!
If not, and your bullets bounce off the Officer’s armour, he crushes the man’s neck in his hand and comes for you.
After that, you drive on through the trenches, killing a few more Orks, before turning and entering an underground bunker. Inside, the entry is covered by a machine gun post.
Khand: MG's pinning us! Someone toss a smoke!
You can do that, or you can perhaps kill the machine gunner. Up to you. Afterwards, you drive on through the underground bunker. It’s a bit of a catacomb full of dormitories and a radio room. Eventually, you clear it.
Khand: Bunker's clear. Let's go!
Sokolov: Everybody out, bunker's clear!
You head back outside, 2 of 5 bunkers complete. You continue through the trenches, meeting fresh Orks.
Rei: There’s artillery hitting the beach! The next assault wave won’t make it!
Khand: Keep pushing! That artillery is hammering our ships!
Kanti: On it, sir! Yeah, I can do this, I can do this…
You carry on through the trench. Some Banshee jet fighters screech overhead. Reaching the entrance to the next bunker, you see a friendly – Corporal Lieu – with an F3 Inferno – a backpack flamethrower. He fires it down the bunker at unseen enemy troops before being gunned down.
Kanti: I'm going in!
Rei: Careful!
You enter the bunker – you can pick up the F3 Inferno as you do, which doesn’t last long but which is fun to use.
Ork: Come, little men!
You clear the bunker. As you reach the machine gun post, you enter into a quicktime moment. Kanti gets ambushed around a corner by an Ork soldier, who grabs her by the throat and pins her to the wall, but she jams her combat knife into his neck. Falling from his grasp, she sees the machine gunner just as a shell from a ship offshore hits the bunker dead-on and blows it, and him, to smithereens. Rei appears from the dust and helps Kanti to her feet.
Rei: Shit! Fucking Navy. Don’t they believe in us?
Returning from the machine gun nest, some Orks have shown up to try and retake the bunker. Take them out and then the bunker’s cleared.
The next bunker is just a hop from this one – you enter, at first finding nobody, before discovering an Ork pinning an Imperial soldier to the wall.
Soldier: Somebody help!
You, I should hope, kill the Ork.
Soldier: Thanks! Oh, hey, a girl…
Kanti: You wish.
You drive into the bunker, in the heart of which is a mortar position, and take out the Ork defenders. With that, the bunker is cleared.
Khand: Move up, move up!
Everyone rallies at the big steel door at the end of the bunker.
Khand: Adlai. Tao. With me. Kanti, you and Rei clear the next bunker. Rally at the top of the bluff, and for fuck’s sake try not to get yourselves killed.
You interact with the big steel door and open it, before going with Rei down some more trenches.
Kanti: Alright, Rei. One more!
Rei: We got this!
You turn a corner into a clearing before the bunker. There’s Orks both defending it on the ground and a sniper on top of the bunker itself. After dealing with this, you head inside, Rei behind you.
As you enter the bunker, Kanti is ambushed by an Ork Major – she is thrown to the floor and the Ork stands over her, pulling out a knife.
Ork: Never did fear smell so sweet.
Rei jumps onto its back and holds onto him around the neck. The Ork manages to throw Rei onto the ground before stabbing her through the belly.
Kanti: Rei! Oh, shit, no!
The Ork soldier leaves the wounded Rei, knife still sticking from her stomach, and approaches Kanti.
Ork: Stand and face me, woman. Show some honour.
Kanti stands and fights the Ork, which through its superior strength easily ends up on top of her, taking away her knife and now pushing it down towards her with both hands. Then, Kanti’s hands light up and the flames return – her whole hands are on fire. The Ork roars in pain and surprise and backs away, looking at its burned hands, before Kanti runs at him as the flames go out and tackles him to the ground. The Ork is still stronger and goes back to throttling her – but they’ve fallen near Rei, who yanks the knife out of her belly and jams it into the Ork’s chest.
Ork: The glory…
The Ork dies. Kanti climbs off and approaches Rei, who suddenly brandishes a pistol.
Kanti: Whoa, Rei…
Rei: Duck!
Kanti does so and Rei shoots the unseen Ork which was behind her. Kanti looks back to Rei, who is dealing with quite a lot of pain.
Kanti: Come on, you’re okay, you’re okay.
Rei: I can't walk.
Kanti pulls up Rei’s uniform to see her stomach – the wound is gushing blood.
Kanti: Oh, shit…
Rei: That bad?
Kanti: It’s not great.
Rei: Would you mind getting me out of here?
An explosion, presumably artillery – Kanti looks down the bunker to see it shudder, rubble falling from the ceiling.
Kanti: Yeah, course, no problem Kinsi, just stay with me, okay? Can you do that?
Rei: I’m gonna have to try. Pulling that knife out was pretty fucking stupid, huh?
Kanti: No comment. Come on.
The player starts dragging Rei out of the bunker and outside. Across a pretty dangerous clearing are friendly lines.
Kanti: We've gotta get back to friendly lines!
Kanti starts dragging Rei across the grass
Rei: On your left!
Kanti shoots the Orks which appear from the left with her pistol and keeps going.
Rei: You’re gonna… have to tell me… how you did that fire thing.
Kanti: I will when I figure it out myself!
They keep going.
Kanti: Not much further. Just keep pressure on that wound.
Rei: I’m trying!
Kanti drags Rei to a wall of sandbags and clambers over them.
Kanti: We gotta take cover!
Rei, in what is pretty clearly a painful endeavour, follows suit and lays in the mud. With her pistol, Kanti faces the Orks now coming for them.
Ork: Tasty, salty man-flesh!
Rei: How many?
Kanti: Too many!
Once the Orks are dispatched, Kanti looks back down at Rei.
Kanti: We're clear! Come on!
Kanti starts dragging Rei through the mud.
Rei: You call that fuckin' clear?
They skirt the edge of the trenches – an Imperial soldier with a flamethrower is dousing a group of Orks in fire. They continue along the edge of the trench, which is lined with barbed wire and so inaccessible, at least for Rei.
Rei: I'm losing too much blood. I think. You need more than half, right?
Kanti: Just hang in there! I gotta find a clearing to get in the trench!
Kanti places Rei down as smoke canisters pop, obscuring the next Ork wave to come their way.
Ork (from somewhere in the smoke): The clan will feast on you!
Kanti: Keep your head down!
Rei: Did you get 'em?
Kanti: They keep coming! How many of these fuckers are there?!
After taking out four or five, Kanti turns back to Rei.
Rei: Watch out!
Rei, with her sidearm, shoots down an Ork drone running at them from behind.
Rei: Still got it.
Kanti: Now’s our chance!
Kanti keep dragging Rei along the edge of the trench, smoke from the Ork canisters obscuring everything. As she goes, an Ork grenade lands at her feet.
Kanti: Fuck!
Kanti throws grabs it and throws it away. She sees an open area in the trench.
Kanti: Bingo!
Kanti jumps down into the trench, up to her ankles in mud, then turns back to Rei.
Kanti: I got you!
Rei rolls off the edge of the trench and lands in the mud at Kanti’s feet. A few more Orks appear from the smoke and Kanti shoots them down. She then looks down at Rei, who’s on the edge of losing consciousness, and then looks down the trench where more Ork infantry are coming at them.
Kanti: Oh, give us a break!
Kanti takes them out. Then, she turns back to Rei and starts dragging her down the trench.
Rei: Oh, wow, I'm actually bleeding out.
Kanti: Just keep pressure on it!
Rei: I’m trying! I’m trying!
Kanti: Almost there!
They reach some concrete steps – a friendly soldier is at the top.
Soldier: Come on up here! Move, move!
Kanti starts dragging Rei up the stairs – the soldier runs down and helps.
Soldier: I got you!
Two Orks come around the corner – someone on the top of the stairs shoots them both down. They reach the top of the stairs and find themselves in the middle of a friendly improvised triage centre. Kanti lays Rei down, whose face is very dazed, as she flicks off her helmet, blood trickling from her mouth.
Kanti: Okay. Stay with me. Healer!
Nobody comes – everyone’s busy.
Rei: I need morphine. All the morphine.
Kanti takes out a syringe of morphine, pulls off the cap with her teeth, and injects Rei in the thigh. Rei’s breathing is strained and painful. Kanti puts a hand under her head as a pillow.
Kanti: You gotta hang on. Those girls in Lutetia are waiting for you.
Rei: Really?
Kanti: Of course.
Rei: I… uh… how about another look at your sister?
Rei manages a smile, sniggering through the pain, and Kanti laughs, too.
Kanti: You’re infuriating.
Rei: It's okay. I can't see shit. I'm just gonna rest right here.
Rei’s eyes close.
Kanti: No, no, no, you need to stay awake. Hey.
Kanti puts her hand against Rei’s face, slapping her awake, and Rei’s eyes open.
Rei: Mona…
Kanti: I'm here.
Rei makes eye contact.
Rei: Help me.
Kanti: I need a fucking Healer!
A Healer finishes treating a wounded soldier and rushes over, taking over from Kanti in trying to stop the bleeding.
Healer: I got this! Go!
Kanti looks back down at Rei.
Kanti: But… but I…
Sokolov appears, standing over them.
Sokolov: Kanti! He'll take care of her. I need you with me. (to others) Listen up! There's an Ork cannon just a little up the road. It's tearing up the beach – we’re gonna stop it. Let's roll!
Kanti looks back down at Rei, who’s reaching out to her. Kanti takes her hand for a moment.
Kanti: Just stay alive, okay?
For a moment, with Rei on the very edge of death, little flickers of her memories flash before Kanti’s eyes. We see her mother telling her she’s a disappointment, Rei sitting in a prison cell, and then being told by a recruiting officer that “the Army’s running out of men – we need some ladies ready to be heroes.” Then Kanti returns to lucidity and Rei’s face.
Rei: I promise.
Their hands part and Kanti stands, grabbing a rifle, and joins the rest of the squad.
Sokolov: Check your ammo and grenades!
Khand: You heard him! Up the road, now!
Kanti and the rest of the squad move out of the top of the bunker, along a field pock-marked with craters, then go onto a dirt road leading towards a farm.
Kanti: Moving up!
Khand: Let's move!
Sokolov: Be ready – these Orks don’t look like the surrendering type!
You keep moving up the road, finding some dead cows as you go.
Khand: Move fast! They're shelling the beach to shit!
You reach the target – a machine-gun nest is set up in a half-destroyed farmhouse and starts shooting at you as you appear.
Sokolov: MG in the hay loft! Take cover and take it out!
After taking out the machine gun, you keep moving up to fight Orks among the farmhouses and hay bales. A large artillery cannon is in the centre and you move to clear it and secure the area, moving in a couple of the farmhouses to do so.
Adlai: Where’s all the civilians?
Khand: In the Ork’s stomachs, probably!
Once you’ve cleared everything, silence seems to fall.
Soldier: Orks coming in from the south! A lot of them!
Sokolov: They’re gonna try to retake the cannon! We gotta hold this position!
Khand: Not a step backwards!
The squad defends the position as a couple waves of Orks swarm towards them. You can use the machine gun posts in the upper floors of the farmhouses to help fight them off.
Adlai: There’s too many of them!
Khand: Hold! Have courage!
Still the Orks swarm the field to the south – until explosions start to blow them away. Termite tanks appear from the left, their 45mm guns tearing through the Orks, which are either slaughtered or flee.
Tao: Our boys are coming in!
Adlai: Look at them scatter!
Sokolov: Alright, everyone. We mopped them up good. I don’t think they’ll be back.
Khand: Clear! Destroy that cannon!
Kanti goes to the cannon and crouches down behind it. An Imperial soldier appears next to her.
Soldier: Thermite!
The soldier carries a number of thermite charges inside his helmet like a bucket and empties them out in front of Kanti. Kanti lights one of them.
Kanti: Fire in the hole!
Everyone backs away – you probably should too – and the thermite explodes. The cannon is destroyed.
Sokolov: Excellent work, Kanti. Alright, everyone, rally on me to the assembly point. Khand, I'll need a casualty report. We lost so many.
Khand: But we took the beach.
Sokolov: What a price.
At the rally point, Rei is on a stretcher on the ground, a cigarette in her mouth as Tao is knelt next to her.
Rei: Kanti...
Rei tries to sit up and Tao puts out a hand to encourage her to lay back down. Given the pain on Rei’s face, that’s probably a good idea.
Tao: Man, I thought I'd seen everything…
Kanti: She gonna be okay?
Tao: Yeah. They taped her up pretty good.
Rei: I should’ve stayed on the boat.
Tao: Oh, now she tells us.
Kanti: Hey, what you did back there… I owe you. Big time.
Rei: I’d say we're even.
Kanti: We'll see this through.
Rei smiles.
Rei: To the end. I guess.
Kanti: Whenever that may be.
Sokolov and Khand walk by behind Rei; Sokolov addresses everyone. Kanti glances up at them, then back at Rei, who just gives her a knowing nod, then stands as she looks back at their superiors.
Sokolov: Beachhead's secured. We'll bivouac at the second hedgerow after the ridge. It’s not over, everyone.
Behind them, a couple of dead Orks are being examined. Adlai is taking photos of one while a soldier gently kicks the head of another.
Soldier: Stop kicking it.
Soldier #2: I don’t wanna.
Khand regards Kanti. There’s blood in his beard.
Khand: Welcome to the Smiling Sixty Sixth. You're a long way from home, farm girl.
Khand walks off. Sokolov watches Kanti, then approaches when Khand is out of earshot.
Sokolov: That’s his way of saying he’s grateful. You did well. Not bad for your first day.
Kanti: Thanks, sir. I, uh…
Sokolov puts a hand on Kanti’s shoulder.
Sokolov: You'll be alright, child.
Kanti: Yes, sir.
Sokolov pats her shoulder, nods, then walks off. Kanti looks down at her hands, covered in dirt and blood, which hold each other before slowly separating.
Kanti: Course I will.
The level ends.

Can anyone with experience in research psychology possibly come up with a summation of research on the nosology of BPD, as well as your opinions on the matter? It’s less a matter of laziness on my part and more to the fact that I do not have the time to educate myself beyond dilettantism and that from what I can glean: the metaphorical waters of this disorder are murky.
For example, here’s a study, published in 2018:
https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/45/1/106/4823553
and from the discussion:
“Today’s frequency of the BPD diagnosis may also be linked to restrictive criteria for schizophrenia, emphasizing psychotic symptoms of high severity levels. The BPD and SPD diagnoses (the latter only infrequently used) probably diagnose the subthreshold patients which would typically meet the ICD-8 and ICD-9 criteria for schizophrenia, including the pseudoneurotic pictures.”
Discussion and pointers would be much appreciated, thanks! 😊

I've been a nonstop working kind of guy for my whole life. When I was married nights and weekends were all about doing things to keep the wife happy. After she left I started drinking every night and working every day. I quit drinking 2.5 years ago, but kept working. I have a small business and there is always a customer with a problem.
This past year I've decided I need to learn to relax so I raised my rate for weekend work to the same as my shop rate. That cut out a lot of simple stuff that the customer could do. I also started telling my one customer that I'll be down to fix or repair his tools in the winter cause I'm fishing.
So that's what I have been doing to relax. That and naps.
My business is on the water on sort of a dead end cut on a river. Sometimes I fish off one of my docks, sometimes I'll find a freshwater spot. I'm not very good at it, I generally get tangles or catch a tree branch, but the important thing is I'm having a good time and I'm not working.
Last weekend I went out in the river in a canoe. I wasn't out there long because I caught a perch, a catfish, and an Eel. The Eel ruined the trip for me. It turned my fishing rig into a big knot and wrapped its slimy self around my arm while I was unhooking it. Nasty things... gives me the chills.
Today I decided to try again. It was a beautiful day with a cool breeze. Just perfect for being out on the water. I only caught one perch, but I caught a lot of catfish. They all get thrown back because I haven't learned to clean them so I can eat them yet. Maybe next year.
Anyhow, I had a blast, only reason I came back in was because I needed to pee. I was out there for 4 hours.
Wearing shorts.
In a canoe.
You know how you sit in a canoe with your legs spread out at the knees?
The sunburn on the inside of my legs is awful.
TL;DR went fishing in a canoe and sunburnt the inside of my legs

Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I often alternate between Catholic, Protestant and Orthodox churches.
Today's readings:
Numbers 11:16-17,24-29

The Lord said to Moses: “Gather to Me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and officers over them; bring them to the tabernacle of meeting, that they may stand there with you. Then I will come down and talk with you there. I will take of the Spirit that is upon you and will put the same upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, that you may not bear it yourself alone.” So Moses went out and told the people the words of the Lord, and he gathered the seventy men of the elders of the people and placed them around the tabernacle. Then the Lord came down in the cloud, and spoke to him, and took of the Spirit that was upon him, and placed the same upon the seventy elders; and it happened, when the Spirit rested upon them, that they prophesied, although they never did so again. But two men had remained in the camp: the name of one was Eldad, and the name of the other Medad. And the Spirit rested upon them. Now they were among those listed, but who had not gone out to the tabernacle; yet they prophesied in the camp. And a young man ran and told Moses, and said, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.” So Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, one of his choice men, answered and said, “Moses my lord, forbid them!” Then Moses said to him, “Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them!”

Joel 2:23-32

Be glad then, you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God; for He has given you the former rain faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you—the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. The threshing floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil. “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; and My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the Lord your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame. And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions. And also on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth: blood and fire and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be deliverance, as the Lord has said, among the remnant whom the Lord calls.”

John 20:19-31

The same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. So Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

John 7:37-52; 8:12

On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Therefore many from the crowd, when they heard this saying, said, “Truly this is the Prophet.” Others said, “This is the Christ.” But some said, “Will the Christ come out of Galilee? Has not the Scripture said that the Christ comes from the seed of David and from the town of Bethlehem, where David was?” So there was a division among the people because of Him. Now some of them wanted to take Him, but no one laid hands on Him. Then the officers came to the chief priests and Pharisees, who said to them, “Why have you not brought Him?” The officers answered, “No man ever spoke like this Man!” Then the Pharisees answered them, “Are you also deceived? Have any of the rulers or the Pharisees believed in Him? But this crowd that does not know the law is accursed.” Nicodemus (he who came to Jesus by night, being one of them) said to them, “Does our law judge a man before it hears him and knows what he is doing?” They answered and said to him, “Are you also from Galilee? Search and look, for no prophet has arisen out of Galilee.” Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

Today is the feast of Pentecost, and the end of the Paschal season which covers Easter, the Ascension and Pentecost. It is the culmination of the event of the resurrection.
In an earlier sermon we discussed why we say specifically “Christ is risen,” and not “Jesus is risen.” We said that it is unremarkable for a man named Jesus, or for instance Lazarus, to be resurrected; as we saw with the latter, this was only a resuscitation to life which still ended up again in death. It is a resurrection to earthly life. But to say Christ is risen has another implication altogether: resurrection to heavenly life.
By His resurrection Jesus teaches us three lessons. Let's review them.
First: Jesus rose from the dead with our very flesh. By His rising from the dead, which is our rising from the dead, Jesus demonstrates the inherent dignity of the human being, which not even death can keep confined. He demonstrates this further by His apparition to Thomas, displaying His very human wounds in His risen body, and by His glorious ascension to the right hand of God by which man is given his place right at the side of God. By His resurrection, Jesus displays the design of God for mankind: to elevate us above everything else.
Second: Jesus puts our humanity above the angels. Indeed, the angels were made to serve not only God but also man. See how the angels advised Abraham (in Genesis 18), saved Lot from Sodom (in Genesis 19), and guided Tobias (in Tobit). As stated in Hebrews 2:5-18, the world was not made to be ruled by angels, but to be ruled by human beings, which Jesus Christ fulfilled in His person. However, Lucifer, the devil, did not accept this, and inflamed himself with pride and revolted because he refused to serve man.
Third: “Christ” means the Messiah, the One sent by God Whom the Jews expected, and today still expect; our belief that the Christ has come as Jesus may be the only thing differenciating us from them, they who are our elder brothers in the faith. To say the One sent by God is risen is to say that God's promise, incarnated and recapitulated in this person, never dies; it remains with us forever, nothing can keep it away from us. This is why, during the Divine Liturgy, we answer to each other “Christ is in our midst—He is and ever shall be.” The Ascension does not contradict this: it is not the farewell of Jesus, but on the contrary the pledge of His everlasting presence. It is the fulfillment of His words in His last discourse (John 16:7): “If I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.”
The Gospel of John often speaks of the Paraclete, which is translated as the Helper but also means the Advocate, Defender, Intercessor. Jesus calls Him the Spirit of Truth. He is the mean by which His words after His resurrection will come true (Matthew 28:20): “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” The coming of the Holy Spirit is the permanent presence of Jesus with us. As He also told the Apostles (John 14:16-17): “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.”
Therefore the Lord sends us His Holy Spirit and remains with us forever, not in His physical presence but in His spiritual presence. Led and empowered and accompanied by Him, nothing is required of us, except for one thing: to know the Spirit. St. Seraphim of Sarov taught plainly that the aim of the Christian life is nothing else but the acquisition and intimate knowledge of the Holy Spirit. To this end, let us at least pray daily, morning and evening, from Pentecost to Easter, this prayer which during that time opens all our prayers: “Heavenly King, Comforter, the Spirit of truth, everywhere present and filling all things, Treasury of blessings and Giver of Life, come and dwell in us; cleanse us of every stain and save our souls, gracious One.” Let us also always keep everyday in ourselves the promise of Jesus' enduring and permanent presence in and with us, which becomes a fountain of joy and vivifying comfort and consolation for our troubles. Amen.

Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I often alternate between Catholic, Protestant and Orthodox churches.
Today's readings:
Numbers 11:16-17,24-29

The Lord said to Moses: “Gather to Me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and officers over them; bring them to the tabernacle of meeting, that they may stand there with you. Then I will come down and talk with you there. I will take of the Spirit that is upon you and will put the same upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, that you may not bear it yourself alone.” So Moses went out and told the people the words of the Lord, and he gathered the seventy men of the elders of the people and placed them around the tabernacle. Then the Lord came down in the cloud, and spoke to him, and took of the Spirit that was upon him, and placed the same upon the seventy elders; and it happened, when the Spirit rested upon them, that they prophesied, although they never did so again. But two men had remained in the camp: the name of one was Eldad, and the name of the other Medad. And the Spirit rested upon them. Now they were among those listed, but who had not gone out to the tabernacle; yet they prophesied in the camp. And a young man ran and told Moses, and said, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.” So Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, one of his choice men, answered and said, “Moses my lord, forbid them!” Then Moses said to him, “Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them!”

Joel 2:23-32

Be glad then, you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God; for He has given you the former rain faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you—the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. The threshing floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil. “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; and My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the Lord your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame. And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions. And also on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth: blood and fire and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be deliverance, as the Lord has said, among the remnant whom the Lord calls.”

John 20:19-31

The same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. So Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

John 7:37-52; 8:12

On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Therefore many from the crowd, when they heard this saying, said, “Truly this is the Prophet.” Others said, “This is the Christ.” But some said, “Will the Christ come out of Galilee? Has not the Scripture said that the Christ comes from the seed of David and from the town of Bethlehem, where David was?” So there was a division among the people because of Him. Now some of them wanted to take Him, but no one laid hands on Him. Then the officers came to the chief priests and Pharisees, who said to them, “Why have you not brought Him?” The officers answered, “No man ever spoke like this Man!” Then the Pharisees answered them, “Are you also deceived? Have any of the rulers or the Pharisees believed in Him? But this crowd that does not know the law is accursed.” Nicodemus (he who came to Jesus by night, being one of them) said to them, “Does our law judge a man before it hears him and knows what he is doing?” They answered and said to him, “Are you also from Galilee? Search and look, for no prophet has arisen out of Galilee.” Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

Today is the feast of Pentecost, and the end of the Paschal season which covers Easter, the Ascension and Pentecost. It is the culmination of the event of the resurrection.
In an earlier sermon we discussed why we say specifically “Christ is risen,” and not “Jesus is risen.” We said that it is unremarkable for a man named Jesus, or for instance Lazarus, to be resurrected; as we saw with the latter, this was only a resuscitation to life which still ended up again in death. It is a resurrection to earthly life. But to say Christ is risen has another implication altogether: resurrection to heavenly life.
By His resurrection Jesus teaches us three lessons. Let's review them.
First: Jesus rose from the dead with our very flesh. By His rising from the dead, which is our rising from the dead, Jesus demonstrates the inherent dignity of the human being, which not even death can keep confined. He demonstrates this further by His apparition to Thomas, displaying His very human wounds in His risen body, and by His glorious ascension to the right hand of God by which man is given his place right at the side of God. By His resurrection, Jesus displays the design of God for mankind: to elevate us above everything else.
Second: Jesus puts our humanity above the angels. Indeed, the angels were made to serve not only God but also man. See how the angels advised Abraham (in Genesis 18), saved Lot from Sodom (in Genesis 19), and guided Tobias (in Tobit). As stated in Hebrews 2:5-18, the world was not made to be ruled by angels, but to be ruled by human beings, which Jesus Christ fulfilled in His person. However, Lucifer, the devil, did not accept this, and inflamed himself with pride and revolted because he refused to serve man.
Third: “Christ” means the Messiah, the One sent by God Whom the Jews expected, and today still expect; our belief that the Christ has come as Jesus may be the only thing differenciating us from them, they who are our elder brothers in the faith. To say the One sent by God is risen is to say that God's promise, incarnated and recapitulated in this person, never dies; it remains with us forever, nothing can keep it away from us. This is why, during the Divine Liturgy, we answer to each other “Christ is in our midst—He is and ever shall be.” The Ascension does not contradict this: it is not the farewell of Jesus, but on the contrary the pledge of His everlasting presence. It is the fulfillment of His words in His last discourse (John 16:7): “If I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.”
The Gospel of John often speaks of the Paraclete, which is translated as the Helper but also means the Advocate, Defender, Intercessor. Jesus calls Him the Spirit of Truth. He is the mean by which His words after His resurrection will come true (Matthew 28:20): “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” The coming of the Holy Spirit is the permanent presence of Jesus with us. As He also told the Apostles (John 14:16-17): “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.”
Therefore the Lord sends us His Holy Spirit and remains with us forever, not in His physical presence but in His spiritual presence. Led and empowered and accompanied by Him, nothing is required of us, except for one thing: to know the Spirit. St. Seraphim of Sarov taught plainly that the aim of the Christian life is nothing else but the acquisition and intimate knowledge of the Holy Spirit. To this end, let us at least pray daily, morning and evening, from Pentecost to Easter, this prayer which during that time opens all our prayers: “Heavenly King, Comforter, the Spirit of truth, everywhere present and filling all things, Treasury of blessings and Giver of Life, come and dwell in us; cleanse us of every stain and save our souls, gracious One.” Let us also always keep everyday in ourselves the promise of Jesus' enduring and permanent presence in and with us, which becomes a fountain of joy and vivifying comfort and consolation for our troubles. Amen.

Can anyone with experience in research psychology possibly come up with a summation of research on the nosology of BPD, as well as your opinions on the matter? It’s less a matter of laziness on my part and more to the fact that I do not have the time to educate myself beyond dilettantism and that from what I can glean: the metaphorical waters of this disorder are murky.
For example, here’s a study, published in 2018:
https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/45/1/106/4823553
and from the discussion:
“Today’s frequency of the BPD diagnosis may also be linked to restrictive criteria for schizophrenia, emphasizing psychotic symptoms of high severity levels. The BPD and SPD diagnoses (the latter only infrequently used) probably diagnose the subthreshold patients which would typically meet the ICD-8 and ICD-9 criteria for schizophrenia, including the pseudoneurotic pictures.”
Discussion and pointers would be much appreciated, thanks! 😊

This post is about a couple of older and elderly women who vanished without a trace. I wanted to include women who disappeared without much of an explanation. When elderly people go missing, their disappearances can often be chalked up to a dementia-related event. I believe many elderly people who vanished with their cars may be in the bottom of lakes and rivers. Those who lived near wilderness may have gotten lost and died of exposure. Those who were picked up or hitchhiked could've been brought to a hospital where they were unable to communicate their true identity. The women I included went missing under more suspicious circumstances.
Mayme Hart Johnson - Disappeared June 12th, 2000 from Nashville, Tennessee.
Mayme is the first on the list and the reason I decided to do this post. On June 12th, 2000, Mayme Hart Johnson, a local historian, researcher, and teacher went missing from Nashville, Tennessee. Mayme, who was 85, lived in the 100 block of Bosley Springs Road in West Nashville with her son, Sam, in his apartment. At 6:30 am that morning, her son woke to find his mother gone. While he reported that he wasn't initially concerned because Mayme occasionally left the apartment around that time, he became alarmed when she didn't return by lunchtime. Where Mayme would go/what she would do at that time is not known. Richland Creek is close by to the apartments, but from what I've seen, it's narrow and a body would probably soon be found if it was in there, despite it being 28 miles long. Of course, there is always a chance she made it into a larger body of water that concealed her. A maintenance man from the Johnson's building told authorities that he had seen Mayme at 6:30 am the day she went missing. This was around the time Sam woke up. Whether this employee saw her outside the building, inside the building, near or on her apartment floor, or down the street is not mentioned. At the time of her disappearance Mayme was 5'5, 120 pounds, with brown eyes and gray hair, and last seen wearing pink pants and a pink blouse. Whether these were pajamas or not (possibly indicating a dementia-like episode, where she got up out of the house and left without telling her son or getting dressed) is, like many things in this case, unknown. Mayme, as I mentioned, was a historian and if you google her name you will find a few sites that show her body of work. In 1986, she published "A Treasury of Tennessee Churches". A search for Mayme was conducted in the Nashville area and extended to Huntingdon, TN, where her husband's grave was, and where she had been visiting the weekend before she vanished. There was also an aerial search of Eastern Maury County that took place in July 2000 after law enforcement came up with a theory that she could be a target of the I-65 rapist. I'm not sure where police got this idea from. The I-65/Days Inn Killer, now identified as Harry Edward Greenwell, murdered three hotel clerks (ages 21, 24, 34) in the late 1980s. He also sexually assaulted a 21 year old hotel clerk in 1990. While LE does believe he's connected to more violent crimes, I'm not sure how they link Mayme to him--if you know, please add your knowledge in the comments. After the aerial search, nothing was found linking anything to Mayme. In 2008 she was declared deceased.
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Helen Joyce Rawley - disappeared June 4th, 2003 from College Park, Maryland
Helen Joyce Rawley lived in a bungalow on the 4600 block of Knox Road in College Park, Maryland with her son. 75 year old Helen went by her middle name "Joyce" so that is how I'll refer to her. Seventy-five year old Joyce and her son, Tom, had lived together since the death of Joyce's husband of 48 years, Nelson, in 2001. Between 6:45 and 7:00 am on June 4th, 2003, Joyce was last seen by her tenant, a man who had rented a room at the Rawley home for the last eight years. Joyce was seen by him on her porch that morning as he returned home from work. Beginning the day after her husband died in February 2001, Joyce suffered two strokes four days apart. Because of the strokes, she was unable to talk and considered disabled because of her inability to communicate. In 2002, Joyce underwent chemotherapy and radiation for rectal cancer. She was on medication that made her tired and weak. She didn't go out anywhere by herself except to get the mail. Her mind remained "sound", according to her son. The day she went missing, her son returned home from his foreman job at 3:30 pm, and found the house empty with the lights off. Joyce's purse and wallet remained left behind in her bedroom, everything was in place, and there were no signs of a robbery. Police tracked Joyce's scent out the front door which she never used, and to the corner of the block. However, she went missing on a "rain-soaked" and "dreary" day and it's possible the bad weather could've washed away any more of her scent outside. Since the death of her husband who died unexpectedly in his sleep, and her two other sons who died together in a 1982 boating accident, Joyce's immediate family consisted of her remaining child Tom, who was unmarried and childless at the time of his mother's disappearance. If she had other family out of the area is unknown. She does have a beach house in Annapolis, Maryland, but had not visited there after she went missing. She was 75 when she disappeared, standing between 5'4-5'5 and 110 pounds. Due to her cancer, she wore a colostomy bag and was on several medications that she can't go long without. Fliers with Joyce's information went out, woods were searched, local bus drivers were notified and questioned if they had seen her, and hospitals had been checked. A helicopter flew over the city at night with a heat-detecting device. No sight of her was ever found. She had brown eyes and white hair and was last seen in a sweatshirt and slacks. She enjoys gardening, crossword puzzles, and reading. Police don't suspect foul play and Tom isn't considered a suspect (neither is the tenant who was the last to see her), but they aren't sure what could've happened.
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Maebell Dawson - disappeared January 3rd, 1998 from Jefferson Township, Ohio
68 year old Maebell Dawson had lived in a one bedroom apartment on the 2nd floor of the Martin Luther Manor Living Center on Liscum Drive for about a year when she went missing. Maebell was divorced, had two daughters, and had retired from a hospital housekeeping job two years prior. Maebell was close to her family, and when calls to reach her went unanswered for two days, by January 5th, her residence was checked. Nothing in the second-story apartment was missing or out of place. Her winter coat was draped over a chair, her wallet, credit cards, cash, and a check for rent dated 1/8/98 were all found in her purse on the table. Her bank account was never accessed again. There were no signs of forced entry, a struggle or robbery inside the apartment. LE does not believe Maebell was attacked from her apartment or lured from the premises, but they do believe foul play was involved. According to CharleyProject, suicide "has not been ruled out but has been deemed unlikely". In 1998, Maebell was between 5'4 - 5'6 and 180 pounds. She had brown eyes and gray hair, wore glasses, and was last seen in a tan jogging suit. She was last seen entering her apartment at 9:30 pm on January 3rd. Five and a half years after her disappearance, Maebell was declared legally dead.
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Norma Mae Maynard - disappeared February 3rd, 1979 from Boone, Iowa.
Norma Mae Maynard went missing in early February of 1979, just two weeks after the unexpected death of her husband, Carl, on January 19th. Norma and Carl had been married for three decades and Norma was deeply grieving the loss. Norma lived with her 30 year old son, and he was the last to see his mother. He stated that shortly before noon on February 2nd, he found a note from his 61 year old mother that stated she was on her way to Los Angeles, not to look for her, and that she'd get in touch again someday. The validity of this note (if seen by LE, if handwritten analysis was performed, etc) is not known. Norma's purse and a few items of clothing were missing, but her checkbook and jewelry were left behind. There was no sign of a break-in at the house. Her husband's pension which she lived off of and her bank account with savings was not touched. Norma was a shy woman who spent most of her time at home and had a regular routine. She didn't drive and her brothers stated that she had never been more than a few miles from her hometown. Her husband's funeral bill was paid for by a check dated four days after she vanished and signed by "Mrs. Carl Maynard". According to Charley Project, "The signature appeared to match Maynard's handwriting, and her son said she had signed a blank check and left it with him to fill in and pay the bill". The validity of this is not known either. A sighting of a woman matching Norma's description was seen by a local Greyhound bus station employee. The woman was boarding a bus bound for Los Angeles. Police are not sure of the accuracy of this sighting and consider it "shaky". Norma didn't drive but she didn't normally travel by bus, and why she allegedly went to Los Angeles is unknown: she had no friends or family there. Norma's son was not considered a suspect in her case, though some members of her family believe he was involved in her disappearance. He has maintained his innocence and has since moved out of state. Norma was 5'3 tall and weight 175 pounds, with blue eyes and gray hair. If she was alive today, she'd be 105. I believe someone close to her knows what happened and made up the story about her leaving for California. My second theory would be suicide, and she made up the California story so her family wouldn't worry.
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Yu Chin Goodson - disappeared March 25th, 2005 from Russellville, Franklin County, Alabama.
Yu Chin Goodson is one of the youngest on my list, and at 57, I wouldn't classify her as elderly, but she is an older woman with a lot of mental and physical issues, who went missing under mysterious circumstances like these other women. Yu Chin is an Asian woman suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, diabetes, and a heart problem which required daily medication. In 2005, she was living in group home for patients with mental disabilities in Russellville, Alabama. On March 25th, 2005, a witness claimed to see Yu Chin enter a small, older grey or silver car with a loud muffler. The car was headed toward the Decatur, Alabama area, which is where her son lives. Staff at the group home were informed that Yu Chin was gone, and within 15 minutes of her disappearance, the police were notified and a search for Yu Chin began. No trace of her was ever found. Her son, who lives in the Decatur area, was never contacted by his mother. There has been no mention of foul play, and authorities believe she could currently be homeless and living in shelters. At the time of this write up, she has been missing for almost twenty years and would be around 75 if still alive.
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Barbara B. Blount - disappeared May 2nd, 2008 from Holden, Louisiana
Barbara B. Blount was a 58 year old widow who lived on the same road as her children, kept in regular contact with her family and friends, and was active in her local church. It came as a surprise one morning when her nephew came over to visit her residence in rural Livingston Parish, Louisiana, and Barbara was nowhere to be found. A neighbor had just spoken to her over the phone, and Barbara had said she was cleaning out her kitchen cabinets. By the time her nephew had arrived for a visit, the front door was wide open, Barbara's phone was lying on the floor with the battery pulled out, her car was gone, and Barbara was missing. Besides for the unusual circumstances in the home, police didn't find any proof of forced entry. A few hours later in the late afternoon, the silver four door 2006 Toyota Camry Barbara owned was found a quarter of a mile from her home. It was found 25-30 yards off the main road and out of sight, hidden by trees. No trace of Barbara was discovered, baffling friends and family who described Barbara as a cautious individual who carried a gun when she went outside to milk the cows and didn't open the door to strangers. Waterways and woods were searched in attempt to find Barbara, but nothing was ever found.

Five months down. Seven months to go until another year when we can do the whole countdown again. Until then, we have five days of government meetings that you might consider attending, participating in, or perhaps turning into a dance remix. On the latter, I can provide the soundbites if you provide the beat. Anyway, more details are in my newsletter for today, but this is a series of blurbs customized for Charlottesville.
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• Earlier this year, a man filed an application with Albemarle County to operate a firearm storage business out of his home around Free Union. The permit is for a “home occupation” which has to be granted if it meets the technical requirements. Some neighbors got wind of the application and filed a petition and made an appeal to overturn the home application. On Tuesday, the Board of Zoning Appeals will take up their request. There are limits to what local governments can do but there are always avenues for groups to try to stop something. What will happen in this case? (learn more)
• (Edit: I'm seeking to get the timeline in place here per comment below - hold tight for fact-checking) When the West Main Streetscape was a $50 million project with four phases, the University of Virginia agreed in principle to pay $5 million to the city for the one in their sphere of influence. This was also due to pressure from former Mayor Nikuyah Walker who felt that the city should not turn over Brandon Avenue to UVA for free. Now the West Main project is dead, and the UVA commitment will go to the Fontaine Avenue Streetscape and the Emmet Streetscape. Council will take a vote on this Monday. Is that all UVA will pay for on the Fontaine Avenue project? The research park will be the location for the new biotechnology institute, a major driver of traffic and growth. Is this the sort of thing that gets talked about in the closed-door meetings that used to be public meetings? (learn more about the Council meeting)
• In the future there will likely be many more people on public water in Louisa County. At some point a plan to bring water from the James River to Zion Crossroads for both Louisa and Fluvanna will be implemented. But public water supplies depend on the availability of water. What happens if there is a drought? A standard response is to impose mandatory restrictions for customers, but right now Louisa doesn’t have the ability to do that legally. So there will be a public hearing to give them the ability to do so? (learn more)
• On the same topic, there’s a public hearing Monday at Charlottesville City Council for utility rate increases. For water and sewer, increases are proposed in part to cover the cost of infrastructure projects undertaken by the Rivanna Water and Sewer Authority. The RWSA handles that and then bills both Charlottesville and the Albemarle County Service Authority for wholesale services. The city and the ACSA then charge their ratepayers a retail price. (learn more in the staff report)
• On Wednesday, the Albemarle Board of Supervisors will have a work session on recent trends in the siting and permitting for utility-scale solar projects. They’ve hired the Berkley Group to write up a report and to discuss some of the issues. This was put in play as Supervisors were considering a major facility. There’s a lot to learn in the report. (read the report)

Some one-liners:
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• Both Charlottesville and Fluvanna County have new attorneys this week.
• Council will also be asked to approve $5.3 million to purchase the county’s share of CATEC, as well as to transfer $137,500 from funding set aside for housing vouchers to allow the public housing agency to purchase a single-family road on Harris Road.
• The new owner of Duner’s wants a new porch and that will go before the Albemarle Architectural Review Board
• We’ll get more details on Albemarle’s plans to buy 462 acres near Rivanna Station.
• Will Fluvanna County go ahead with service cuts for Jaunt that correspond with Supervisors’ decision to cut funding by ten percent for FY24?

Please ask questions! I will try to steer you toward more info and provide more context. Share with friends!

"show that the human form of the FOXP2 gene increases synaptic plasticity and dendrite connectivity in the basal ganglia. These results partly explain the enhanced capability of cortico-basal ganglia circuits in the human brain that regulate critical aspects of language, cognition, and motor control." Foxp2 Language Evolution
Cell FOXP2gene -(https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(16)31081-8?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982216310818%3Fshowall%3Dtrue)
Enk(Ea)i- twin Serpent , the creator of mankind was the Genius-Scientist who tries twice to create a civilized man, until Ninmah tells him that they must add their likeness. Thus creating the perfect Man. It is when he put speech in their mouths that Enlil is enraged claiming they make too much noise,as you'll see this was the 1st cataclysm.Enki is the protector and teacher of mankind. He is essentially a god of civilization, and it was natural that he was also looked upon as the creator of man, and of the world in general. Enki Teachings
SacredTexts After his involvement with the original genetic experiment, his compassion for the plight of the Homo sapien (Man the Wise) his role shifted his role from genetic engineer to that of a freedom fighter. Because of the Romans(Enlils offspring) ancient text were edited, altered ,the Garden of Eden describes Enki & Ninti creating humanity at Ea’s headquarters. The House of the God of Water,Wisdom, fertility, known as the Great Serpent, the Garden was his 'den'. Naturally, humanity Would be born in Ea-Den. You will see from the text cited here, that it was Enki who created & then immediately fell in love with his creation. He earned & embraced the nickname of "Trickster', because being the wisest he tricked the other "Authorities"(Elohim- or Council of Rulers) for humanity’s sake.
"The bodies of Adam and Eve were overlaid with a horny skin that was as bright as daylight, like a luminescent garment".
In Ancient India this is also the description given of the Serpent people, benefactors & genetic engineers of humanity. (Bioluminescent i.e. they spontaneously emit light due to a chemical reaction in their body. This would explain the so-called “jewels of the Naga” that illuminates the netherworld. Bioluminescence is found in many deep sea fishes and other marine organisms like jellyfish, algae, bacteria etc., who emit light from their bodies that make the seas glow and glitter. This occurs due to the presence of a light-emitting molecule called luciferin, which produces light when it reacts with oxygen. Many organisms also produce the catalyst luciferase,
In both Sumer & the Jewish text we see the key role of the woman, who did nothing wrong, quite the contrary it is she who breathes the soul or psyche into man. Bit Shimti - "House where the wind of life is breathed in" - Ninmah is the proud mother the "essence" of the blood of a young Anunnaki male was mixed with the egg of a female hominid. The fertilized egg was then inserted into the womb of a female Anunnaki. When, after a tense waiting period, a "Model Man" was born, Ninmah held the newborn baby up and shouted: "I have created! My hands have made it!"[
Enki boasted, “A Civilized man I have brought forth. A new kind of Earthling from my seed has been created, in my image and after my likeness. From seed they from food will grow, from ewes sheep they will shepherd. For Gods, and offspring henceforth shall be satiated.“
In Genesis, it is understood that the Serpent speaks,and was of equal footing wth "God". We saw in the Nag Hammadi, and other ancient texts from around the world. He was also most notable, because he stood on 2 feet like man, and was even taller. The Sumerian term Annun-Aki meant 'tall ones', the height of the Serpent was equal to that of a camel. Chap 3 of Genesis the argument is given that man can't be one of US. He must not be allowed to eat from the tree & live forever". Even here you see they're brothers.
"Enki, the Lord of abundance, of trustworthy commands, The Lord of wisdom, who understands the land, The leader of the gods, Endowed with wisdom, the Lord of Eridu"...
It has always been Enli, the archons who aim to "destroy mankind in his psychological function". Later, it's Enlil who tries to force the other Authorities to keep the secret from mankind.
"Come, all of us, and take an oath regarding the killing Flood!" But as all the others took the oath, Enki resisted firmly. "I refuse. Why will you bind me with an oath?" he asked, "Am I to raise my hand against my own humans?" Meanwhile, our father Enki understands the importance of love and kindness to the raising of consciousness, he acts with kindness in defending humanity and dealing with all the life on the planet.
Ninmah The Ninhursag , an mother of humanity is shown with humanity at her breast.The priesthood of Sumer & Egypt were Dolichocephalic, like mother. the Serpent Cults today still maintains the pure bloodlines that were mandated after the deluge.)
She was the goddess of the stony, rocky ground, the hursag. The H symbol, i described at all the sacred "navel' sites, especially Göbekli Tepe, Puma Punku, has the same meaning. The serpent always represents spiritual wisdom, life and healing. The first symbols of serpents were attributed to Enki or NU.DIM.MUD (Nudimmud), "He Who Fashions Thing and then Ninhursag.("Whose House Is Water") . Nag hammadi-Origin of our World
The text describes Ninti 'let fall a droplet of light, it flowed onto the water, and immediately a human being appeared, being androgynous. That droplet she molded first as a female body. Afterwards, using the body she molded it in the likeness of the mother, which had appeared. This was Eve of Life namely, the female instructor of life. Her offspring is the creature that is lord. Afterwards, the authorities called it "Beast", so that it might lead astray their modelled creatures. (The interpretation of "the beast" is "the instructor". For it was found to be the wisest of all beings.)"
"Then each of them cast his sperm into the midst of the navel of the earth fashioned man with his body resembling their body.His modelling took place by parts, one at a time. And their leader fashioned the brain and the nervous system. Afterwards, he appeared as prior to him. He became a soul-endowed man"
"when the Authorities (Yahweh) had saw Adam/Eve transgressed their rule it came upon them an earthquake and a great threat, to see the result of the help that was give. Their eyes were blinded by him so they were not able to do anything to him. They merely cursed him, since they were powerless. And everything that they created they cursed. There is no blessing from them. Good cannot come from evil."
"Since that day the authorities knew that truly there was something stronger than they. They would not have known except that their commandment was broken. They brought a great envy into the world only because of the immortal human."
Enki possessed the secret of me, 'culture, civilization', which is the genius of progress in knowledge to lead humanity. He invented civilization for the people and assigned to each his destiny. He created order in the cosmos. He filled the rivers with fish. He invented the plough and the yoke so that farmers could till the earth with oxen. In the most recent thread you see each ruler from Egypt to Pharoah carries the plough, the Serpent Priest would assist the Pharoah who was in charge of a successful harvest. "Master Servant " was the Pharoah
"Enki made the grain grow. He is the father of all plants.” Of course he wanted his children to eat from the Tree of knowledge, With the Tree of Knowledge humans had the chance to figure out everything on their own in time, to be as equal or better than him, as any parent wants for there child. . Had they eaten only from the Tree of Life, they would live but not have been more the wiser.
Why should acquiring knowledge be a sin?" (the original sin) and comparing it to modern day observations ought to wake you up to the fact that you live within societal system that was engineered by the members of "God" to empower themselves while keeping those who live within it ignorant
The sacred waters of knowledge had a double meaning, it represents both the creationof the human body(mostly water) & it is talking about the water carried by the Sages in places like La Mana, Ecuador. This water has amazing healing properties, it is apart of ritual today in the Llanganates for visiting initiates. Indigenous elders working with the scientific community have had fascinating results. Electrum Water Hiv nanoparticles Silver "he interaction of nanoparticles with biomolecules and microorganisms is an expanding field of research. Wis. In this work, we demonstrate that silver nanoparticles undergo a size-dependent interaction with HIV-1, with nanoparticles exclusively in the range of 1-10nm attached to the virus"
The Dogon call our Master Teachers, The Monitors, Nummo also meanw 'to make one drink'(water of wisdom). The Hebrews termed these Watchers as nun resh’ayin, meaning “those who watch.” In the Greek this is translated as gigantes or giants, a race that even the 907 B.C. writer Hesiod featured as being monstrous (due to their serpentine aspect no doubt). Now we can understand the role of the giants 2 seen across the world of ancient script in respect to the presence of the Watchers.
The Apkallu, these priest of Enki i wrote about in the last thread, the genetic, archaeologicalevidence has shown R1b-V88 & R1b-M269 were associated with agriculture, cattle domestication, metal working, language, geopolymer construction, everywhere a Pyramid or Navel was Built the Mende/Yoruba & the Austro-Melanesian Pacific Islander Ghost Hominids dna dna is found. The Aunu/Anu people migrated across the globe. Göbekli Tepe The human ummânū is attested in the Uruk List of Kings and Sages, while other references to bird-apkallū are legion
The purādu-fish apkallū is principally attested in Berossus.These seven were each advisers for seven different kings and therefore result in two different lists, one of kings and one of apkallu. Neither the sages nor the kings in these lists were genealogically related however. Apkallu and human beings were presumably capable of conjugal relationships since after the flood, the myth states that four apkallu appeared. These were part human and part Apkallu, and included Nungalpirriggaldim, Pirriggalnungal, Pirriggalabsu, and Lu-nana who were only two-thirds ApkalluKundalini is the spiritual energy or life force present in every human being, located at the base of the spine.
They were believed to have apotropaic qualities, guarding the home from evil.Sages FigurinesThe three types of apkallū are portrayed, with the human ummânū at far left, the Nisroc bird-apkallū type in the middle, and the antediluvian purādu-fish type at far right.3 Apkallu
Remember that it was the woman who was Pharoah, her consort became king. Egypt, like most of the most sophisticated ancient civilizations were ruled by women. Ninhursags the Goddess of the stony, rocky ground that masons use to spiritually ascend higher, the H at Göbekli Tepe & Puma Punku represents mother. 'As above(ninmah), So below(Enki)'. The underworld was never a negative place before the Romans. The Pyramid, the Great house was the Woman's house. Sumerian text speak of the foundation being the stone & the water just as the Pyramid text of Saqqara. The Sumerian E.KUR - "House Which is Like a Mountain." Pyramid was put under the patronage of Ninharsag.in hymns shes recognized as mistress of the "House With a Pointed Peak" - a pyramid. CoffinText 313:Horus says "I created my Eye in flame, I made my Eye a living serpent". Remember, the serpent he saw was bipedal, always. As Robert Monroe reported in the Gateway Experiments.
"House bright and dark of Heaven and Earth, for the rocketships put together; E.KUR, House of the Gods with pointed peak; For Heaven-to-Earth it is greatly equipped. House whose interior glows with a reddish Light of Heaven, a beam of energy of creation which reaches far and wide; Its awesomeness touches the flesh. Awesome ziggurat, lofty mountain of mountains - Thy creation is great and lofty, men cannot understand it"
'House of Equipment, lofty house of Eternity: Its foundation are stones [which reach] the water; Its great circumference is set in the clay. House whose parts are skilfully woven together; House, the rightness of whose howling The Great-Ones-Who-See-and-Orbit brings down the rest . . . Mountain by which Utu ascends. [House] whose deep insides men cannot penetrate . . . Anu has magnified it.
In the Testament of Amram 2 men who resembling Living Serpents were seen fighting over him in his dream-vision. Even in ancient Text later we see "battles of the Gods', but in the very beginning We see the genius, Enki described as a kind, amicable child ONLY gets aggressive when his brother comes to harm his creation. Most importantly, Enlil & his realized he was powerless when Humanity had Enki by their side. So, his campaign was to disconnect us from that knowledge starting with the Bible & the Inquisition, they killed,raped, burned all of the knowledge that had allowed mankind to thrive.. then stashes the rest away, keeping it from the people. Dagon Catholicism
-In Egypt Ptah as Ea/Enki (Sumer he's also a cthonic diety "The Artful Creator") and Ra as his Firstborn son.
After Anu, Enlil, Enki and Ninmah had fashioned the black-headed people, Vegetation that is fruitful they multiplied in the land... In the Edin they placed them..
The descendants of Ham ("He Who is Hot" and also "The Dark-Hued One").... correspond to the African nation-lands of Nubia, Ethiopia, Egypt, and Lybia as the core nations of African resettlement, again beginning with the topographically higher areas..They were the Dogon, Hopis ancestors.. The ancient Chinese or Bak tribesmen which dominate China today called the Elamites KASHTI. Moreover, in the Bible the Book of Jeremiah (xlxx,35), we read "bow of Elam". It is interesting to note that both Khaltam-ti and Kashti as the name for Elam, agrees with Ta-Seti, the ancient name for Nubia located in the Meroitic Sudan. Sumerians Had Dolichocephalic skulls Genetic Evidence for convergent evolution SE AsianElamites-Mandig](http://olmec98.net/ElamPersians.png) Semitic speakers of Akkad and the non-Semitic speakers of Sumer were both sag-gig-ga or "blackheads".Elamite language, is closely related to the African languages including Egyptian and the Dravidian languages of India. Alchemy as Taught by Children of Enki
Antediluvian Kings of Sumer were known as Kings of Kush".the major Kushite tribe in Central Asia was called Kushana. The Kushan of China were styled Ta Yueh-ti or "the Great Lunar Race". Along the Salt Swamp, there was a state called Ku-Shih of Tibet. The city of K-san, was situated in the direction of Kushan, which was located in the Western part of the Gansu Province of China.
Here we find the divine decrees presented by Enki to Inanna are those referring to lordship, godship, the exalted and enduring crown, the throne of kingship, the exalted scepter, the exalted shrine, shepherdship, kingship, the numerous priestly offices, truth, descent into the nether world and ascent from it, the music From the tree in the Mesopotamian depiction hang two pieces of fruit. To the right of the tree is the half-moon symbol of Ea; to the left is the planet symbol of Anu.
Lastly the pineal gland(pine cone). In India it is a stick of bamboo with seven knots… which represents the spinal column with its seven centers or chakras… It also indicated the spinal cord…while the serpents were symbolical of the two channels called in Eastern terminology Ida and Pinagala; and the fire enclosed within it was the serpent-fire which in Sanskrit is called kundalini." Even the natural behaviors of the pine cone have an esoteric meaning:
"as it ripens, the pine cone slowly opens to release its mature seeds."
This process is symbolic of the expansion of consciousness that accompanies the opening of the pineal gland and the awakening of the Third Eye. The metaphor is a valuable and stimulating mental lesson of an esoteric phenomenon that cannot otherwise be seen or explained since it occurs inside the brain..
The One sure way, and what's been happening wthin the last century especially is to keep knowledge away from the human race. If we as a collective are so ingrained in our beliefs, how can we ever be open to new ideas pertaining to the nature of reality?

Hello, and welcome to Music’s Biggest Night!
That’s right, it’s the GRAMMYs. The year is 1994 and our category is Best Alternative Music Album. We’ll be rating each of the five nominees on Indieheads, but before we get to the nominees, a quick word about rates.
Hey, quick question, what are rates?
Obviously, if you're familiar with the process, skip this. But if you're new, I'll explain so this doesn't seem like a wild block of text!
Rates are a subreddit game in which a user scores a group of songs on a scale from 1-10, with each individual also given a single 11 and a single 0 to be used exactly once per rate. They will then message their ballot to the rate host, who will tally up all the points and then reveal the final results over a weekend, eliminating songs one by one until the last track remaining wins the rate and bragging rights forever. While there's just a bit more to know, I feel this is the basics of what you'll need to understand what's going on. I do recommend this video made by our popheads brethren to get a fuller picture; while some of the info applies specifically to the way popheads do their rates, the overall format is similar.

Introduction

The GRAMMYs are awards presented by The Recording Academy of the United States to recognize outstanding achievements in the music industry. The name derives from the trophy, which is shaped like an old-fashioned gramophone. The awards celebrate a variety of categories, but we’re going to be looking at Best Alternative Music Album or, as it was called at the time, Best Alternative Music Performance. The question of what "alternative" really means can be debated forever, but the original intent of this award was to celebrate non-mainstream rock albums which were heavily played on college radio. The category first appeared in 1991, so in 1994 the award is still pretty new.
And now, let’s meet our nominees!

Belly - Star

Belly are the act here that seem discussed least frequently on Indieheads, so I’m excited to see what everyone thinks of them. By the time of starting Belly, Tanya Donelly (lead vocals and rhythm guitar) had already been in two other classic indie rock bands. She was a co-founder of Throwing Muses with her step-sister Kristin Hersch, contributing vocals and guitar for the band’s first decade, though she’d only get a handful of songs per album. Donelly would later start The Breeders with Pixies bassist and vocalist Kim Deal. The Breeders’ debut, Pod, featured Deal as the primary songwriter because existing record contracts prohibited the two from sharing primary writing credits. While they originally intended to alternate albums, Tanya had begun to form Belly by the time it was her turn to do a Breeders album. She recruited Fred Abong (bass) and brothers Tom (guitar) and Chris (drums) Gorman as they’d all known each other while going to high school in Rhode Island.
Belly co-produced most of their 1993 debut Star with Tracy Chisholm. Gil Norton, who’d previously produced Throwing Muses’ self-titled debut, produced four tracks, including singles "Gepetto," "Slow Dog," and "Feed the Tree." "Feed the Tree," one of the album’s highlights, would be the band’s highest charting hit, reaching 95th on the Billboard Hot 100 and topping the Modern Rock Chart. Star is an effective fusion of alternative rock with jangle pop, dream pop, "haunting" folk, and even some light country influences. At the 1994 GRAMMYs, Belly were also up for Best New Artist with Blind Melon, Digable Planets, and SWV, ultimately losing to R&B singer Toni Braxton. Belly released a sophomore album King in 1995 and Donelly released several solo albums before reuniting with the King lineup to release a third album in 2018. While Star may not have achieved the canonical stature of some of 1994’s other nominees, it is nevertheless a very enjoyable release from a strong songwriter who’d finally gotten the chance to make an album-length statement of her own.
Are Indieheads gonna feed the tree? Will this be an album to die for?
Tracklist:

1. Someone to Die For
2. Angel
3. Dusted
4. Every Word
5. Gepetto
6. Witch
7. Slow Dog
8. Low Red Moon
9. Feed The Tree
10. Full Moon, Empty Heart
11. White Belly
12. Untogether
13. Star
14. Sad Dress
15. Stay

Nirvana - In Utero

If you were wondering where "Heart Shaped Box" was in the Guitar Hero Rate, well I’ve got a treat for you!
Kurt Cobain (vocals and guitar) and Krist Novoselic (bass) met while attending Aberdeen High School in the late 1980s. They shuffled through various names, ultimately deciding on Nirvana because Cobain wanted a name that sounded beautiful and nice instead of mean and raunchy. In their early years, they worked with several different drummers, recording 1989’s Sub Pop debut Bleach with Chad Channing on drums. Channing left the band as they worked on their follow-up. Kurt and Krist met drummer Dave Grohl days after he’d moved to Seattle following the break up of his Washington DC band Scream. The addition of Dave solidified Nirvana’s classic lineup. The trio began seeking a major label to buy them out of their Sub Pop contract as they were dissatisfied with the label’s lack of promotion and distribution of their debut. They eventually signed with DGC Records per the recommendation of Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon. Upon signing, they began work on their major label debut, Nevermind, with producer Butch Vig. 1991’s Nevermind was an unexpected success, bringing grunge and alternative rock to the mainstream and even surpassing Michael Jackson on the Billboard albums chart.
In the aftermath of Nevermind’s success, Cobain felt he needed to reclaim his punk ethic. Wanting to depart from Butch Vig’s slick production (don’t worry, we’ll still be hearing from Vig a little later), he sought to work with Steve Albini. Albini was famous in the underground for his work as frontman for Big Black and various production work, including PJ Harvey’s Dry. He sent a copy of Dry to Cobain to give him an idea of the acoustics in his studio. Albini dismissed Nirvana as "R.E.M. with a fuzzbox" (more on R.E.M. soon!) but decided to work with them because he felt bad for them, recognizing them as "the same sort of people as all the small-fry bands I deal with." The band pushed for minimal label oversight and recorded In Utero quickly, wrapping recording sessions in as little as 13 days. The album was noisier and more abrasive than Nevermind, resulting in much dispute between the band, Albini, and the label. Cobain sought to make the kind of record he’d enjoy owning as a fan but began having second thoughts about the sound when listening to it at home. The press picked up on conflict about the album’s sound. The band denied this and DGC president David Geffen called Newsweek to explain they would release whatever Nirvana recorded. Behind the scenes, the band tried to fix the album’s sound in the mastering process, which Albini was strongly against. He’d later supply an alternate mix for the album’s 20th anniversary re-release. R.E.M producer Scott Litt was brought on to remix "Heart Shaped Box" and "All Apologies" which were intended to be the album’s singles.
In Utero was released in September of 1993 following a low-key release strategy which sent "Heart Shaped Box" as a promo-only single to various rock station formats but not Top 40. Walmart and K-Mart initially refused to stock the album due to its back cover and the title of the song "Rape Me." (A content note on that song, while it is interpreted as commentary on the invasive music press, it was intended to be a lyrically literal anti-rape song from the perspective of a victim. As this is a rate, you can score this song however you see fit, but I hope it goes without saying that everyone should please be respectful of this subject matter in their comments.) Despite In Utero’s abrasive sound and reduced mainstream promotion, the album still debuted at number one on the Billboard album charts and was well-received by critics. The music often hits harder and faster than Nevermind, containing more of the "punk" feel that Cobain was aiming for compared to the grunge of their early work and their Seattle contemporaries. Check out this MTV clip if you’d like to see how college students in 1993 received the album at the time. The band toured America shortly after In Utero came out. Their European tour that was cut short as Cobain suffered from a drug overdose. A couple weeks later, Cobain died by suicide. As with the subject matter of "Rape Me," I want to request that everyone is respectful of this in their comments, I will ask for edits (or omit comments myself) if they are inappropriate. Despite the tragic ending, Nirvana is still seen as one of American and alternative rock’s most important bands and In Utero remains highly regarded to this day.
Will our comments be all apologies? Are the results of this rate gonna be, uhhh, dumb?
Tracklist:

1. Serve the Servants
2. Scentless Apprentice
3. Heart-Shaped Box
4. Rape Me
5. Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle
6. Dumb
7. Very Ape
8. Milk It
9. Pennyroyal Tea
10. Radio Friendly Unit Shifter
11. Tourette’s
12. All Apologies

R.E.M. - Automatic for the People

If there’s a band who can rival Nirvana’s stature in the American alternative rock canon, it’s gotta be R.E.M. They are often cited as one of the first "alternative" rock bands and were important for the college radio format. Formed in Athens, Georgia in 1980, Michael Stipe (vocals), Peter Buck (guitar), Mike Mills (bass), and Bill Berry (drums) released 5 albums with independent label I.R.S. Records. This run of releases showed them evolving from a jangle rock sound to a louder, more anthemic sound on their final record for the label, Document. After "The One I Love" became their first mainstream hit, the band signed to Warner Brothers, kicking off a second act that resulted in yet another 5 album run of great music.
At the start of the 90s, R.E.M. opted out of touring and became a studio band. The band recorded demos for the songs "Drive," "Try Not to Breathe," and "Nightswimming" at Prince’s Paisley Park Studios while mixing their 1991 album, Out of Time. Out of Time was a huge success, arriving as alternative rock was becoming mainstream. It spawned the massive single "Losing My Religion" and even ended up winning the GRAMMY award for Best Alternative Music Album in 1992. After concluding promotional duties in early 1991, the band returned to the studio to continue work on what would become Automatic for the People. It is the fourth of six records the band would produce with Scott Litt. The band traded off instruments in the studio, with Buck playing the mandolin famously featured on "Losing My Religion," Mills playing piano or organ, and Berry playing bass. Initial attempts to make a harder rocking follow-up did not pan out, as the band found they were writing better without drums. The material began to take on a more melancholic tone. The lush orchestration of Out of Time is rendered in a somber greyscale, with arrangements contributed by Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones. Lyrically, the album muses on loss and mourning, prompting rumors that balding Michael Stipe was dying of cancer or AIDs. Luckily, he was not but that is the lens through which some critics and listeners received this work. The album also finds room for political commentary, most noticeably in "Ignoreland" which pushes against Republican politics of the time, but also in opener "Drive" which calls back to the group’s work with the Rock to Vote movement, for which they added a petition on the longbox packaging of Out of Time.
Automatic for the People released on October 5, 1992 (gotta love the GRAMMYs odd eligibility window) debuting at number 2 on the Billboard 200. Unlike its predecessor, it never reached the top spot, thanks to Garth Brooks. Six of the album’s 12 tracks were released as singles including "Drive," "Everybody Hurts" which has unfortunately been diluted through years of ironic use in comedies, the cryptic, Andy Kaufman referencing "Man on the Moon," and "Nightswimming," an emotional piano ballad that has become a fan favorite. The album was critically acclaimed upon release and, while perhaps not as fun as their jangle material, this nocturnal bummer is regarded by many as one of the band’s masterpieces.
Will everybody hurt? Are R.E.M. going to get a raw deal?
Tracklist:

1. Drive
2. Try Not to Breathe
3. The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite
4. Everybody Hurts
5. New Orleans Instrumental No. 1
6. Sweetness Follows
7. Monty Got a Raw Deal
8. Ignoreland
9. Star Me Kitten
10. Man on the Moon
11. Nightswimming
12. Find the River

The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

The Smashing Pumpkins formed in 1988 when Billy Corgan (vocals and guitar, he prefers William Patrick Corgan now though) met James Iha (guitar) while working at a record store in Chicago, Illinois. They performed as a duo with a drum machine, eventually adding bassist D’arcy Wretzky after meeting her at a show by the Dan Reed Network. Jazz drummer Jimmy Chamberlain was recommended by a friend of Corgan’s after the trio were booked for a show under the condition that they’d play with a live drummer instead of their drum machine. With Chamberlain on board, the band’s classic lineup had been formed and their sound began to shift in a harder rock direction.
Siamese Dream, the group’s 1993 sophomore album, expands on their 1991 debut Gish in every possible way. The band switched from Virgin subsidiary Caroline Records to Virgin itself. Butch Vig, who produced Nirvana’s massive Nevermind right after finishing work on Gish, returned to produce the follow-up. Where Gish’s $20,000 budget and month of recording time was "unprecedented" for Vig, Corgan and Vig spent four months on Siamese Dream and went $250,000 over budget. This is what happens when you let Billy overdub everyone else’s guitar and bass parts (something the rest of the band wasn’t particularly happy about) to get as many as 100 guitar parts compressed into one song.
The meticulous studio process paid off, as Siamese Dream was a bigger hit than Gish, peaking at 10 on the Billboard 200. The band’s influences from metal, dreampop, and shoegaze give the album a layered and unique sound compared to the grungier alternative music of the time. Singles "Cherub Rock" and "Today" have been featured in the Guitar Hero and Rock Band videogame series. While never released as a single, "Mayonaise" has become a fan favorite and won a Rolling Stone poll for best Pumpkins song, beating out singles from Siamese Dream. Judging from some early discussion since this rate was announced, some of you seem pretty excited to rate "Mayonnaise." While the double album follow-up Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness took the band to the height of their popularity, Siamese Dream is often regarded as their masterpiece and one of the best rock albums of the 90s.
Will we be sweet sweet to the Pumpkins? The rater in me is the rater in you, I’ll send this ballot over to you
Tracklist:

1. Cherub Rock
2. Quiet
3. Today
4. Hummer
5. Rocket
6. Disarm
7. Soma
8. Geek U.S.A.
9. Mayonaise
10. Spaceboy
11. Silverfuck
12. Sweet Sweet
13. Luna

U2 - Zooropa

Whoa hey is it U2sday??
Formed in Dublin, Ireland in 1976, U2 (Bono on vocals, The Edge on guitar, Adam Clayton on bass, and Larry Mullen Jr. on drums) have become the top-selling Irish musical act of all-time, with an estimated 170+ million records sold. Across the 80s, U2 evolved their early post-punk sound to the anthemic rock of The Joshua Tree. While touring America for that album, the band recorded Rattle and Hum, a hybrid live/studio record (and accompanying concert film) which documented the tour and the group’s fascination with American roots music. Despite the album’s commercial success, most consider it a misguided failure. Even Bono admitted at their final show for the album’s Lovetown Tour that "we have to go away and dream it all up again."
1993’s Zooropa catches U2 at their most adventurous. 1991’s Achtung Baby and its subsequent Zoo TV tour rebranded the band for the new decade. While they continued working with Unforgettable Fire and The Joshua Tree producers Brian Eno and Daniel Lanois, they updated their sound with influences from electronic, dance, and industrial music. On stage, they dabbled in irony to counter the sincerity of their 80s output with Bono playing characters such as The Fly and Macphisto. Emboldened by the critical and commercial success of this album and tour, they began working on a promotional EP during a break between Zoo TV tour legs. Despite working quickly in the studio, this EP expanded into a full-length album, requiring the band to travel between concerts and the studio in Dublin to finish working on the album during the first month of the Zooropa leg.
Zooropa finally arrived in July of 1993 and it shows the band doubling down on their early 90s ideas. The sound of the album, built from loops of soundcheck jamming and leftover sketches from Achtung Baby, ventures even further from traditional rock instrumentation and songwriting, bolstered by production from Brian Eno, Flood (moving from an engineering to production role), and The Edge, who received production credits for the first time. The fragmented nature of the album’s production is reflected in the eclectic tracklist which bounces between the multi-movement art-rock of the title track, dancefloor fillers like "Daddy’s Gonna Pay for Your Crashed Car," and ballads like "For the First Time" and "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)" Unique vocal choices like The Edge’s spoken-word rapping on lead-single "Numb," Bono’s falsetto on "Lemon," and a Johnny Cash feature on closer "The Wanderer" help the album feel more varied than U2’s previous material. The album’s lyrics often examine Zoo TV’s concepts of "sensory overload" and technology more explicitly than Achtung Baby.
While U2 are reluctant to acknowledge Zooropa now (likely influenced by the failure of 1997’s Pop, a rushed, mixed bag of an album that stretched audience’s tolerance for 90s U2 to a Rattle and Hum-like breaking point) the album was successful when it came out. Zooropa debuted at number one in several countries and finished ninth on 1993’s Pazz and Jop poll. It would also go on to win this GRAMMY award for Best Alternative Music album, with Bono shrugging on stage, shouting out Smashing Pumpkins, and promising to "the young people of America" that they will "continue to abuse our position and fuck up the mainstream" in his acceptance speech.
Will U2 stay the champions in our rate or will they be faraway so close to the top?
Tracklist:

1. Zooropa
2. Babyface
3. Numb
4. Lemon
5. Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
6. Daddy’s Gonna Pay for Your Crashed Car
7. Some Days Are Better Than Others
8. The First Time
9. Dirty Day
10. The Wanderer

Bonus Rate

While our rates often have a bonus, there is no bonus for the 1994 GRAMMYs since this rate is 5 albums instead of the usual 4.
Now, it’s time for the boring, but necessary parts:

Where to listen:

Spotify
Apple Music
Tidal Music
Rules - READ ALL OF THESE BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR SCORES

1. Listen to each song and assign each a score between 1 and 10. decimals are fine, but please refrain from giving decimal scores that have two decimal spots: giving a 7.2 is okay, but giving a 7.25 will give me a headache. This is because I'm using a computer program to parse the votes and print everything out (more on that later).
   
2. Yes, you have to listen to every song. We're all in this together. I will not accept your ballot if you have a score missing, because it will crash the program (more on that later).
   
3. Your scores should NOT be considered confidential. They aren’t. Feel free to shitpost about them in the general discussion threads whenever you feel like it - users over at popheads usually just talk about their averages of the albums and what 11 and 0 they gave (which I will explain on the next bullet point!)
   
4. You may give ONE song a 0 and ONE song an 11. This is ONE song TOTAL. Please reserve these for your least favorite and most favorite tracks; excessive sabotage ruins rate results and generally makes things less fun.
   
5. You can change your scores at any time! Feel free to PM me at any point after submission and I'll be happy to revise them for you.
   
6. I am using a computer program that the great and wonderful letsallpoo designed in order to parse these votes! While this will make things a lot more efficient and reduces errors on my part, this does mean that scores need to be sent in a very specific way. The easiest way to make sure your scores follow the necessary format is to use the pre-prepared link at the top & bottom of this post. PLEASE USE THAT. You can copy and paste it to a notepad file or something and fill in your scores there, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use that format to send in your scores.
   
7. Did a lot of copy and pasting here, so thank you thank you to all the raters of old, ily: roseisonlineagain; DolphLundgrensArms; R_E_S_I_G_N_E_D; stansymash; ClocktowerMaria; aerocom; themilkeyedmender; greencaptain; Crankeedoo; dirdbub; ThatParanoidPenguin; tedcruzcontrol; kappyko; FuckUpSomeCommasYeah; LazyDayLullaby; SRTViper; Whatsanillinois; NFLFreak98; freav; freeofblasphemy; RatesNorman; aPenumbra; idontreallycare4; p-u-n-k_girl; luigijon3; WaneLietoc; dream_fighter2018; darjeelingdarkroast; smuckles; PiperIBarelyKnowHer; welcome2thejam; imrlynotonreddit; kvothetyrion; thedoctordances1940; b_o_g_o; vapourlomo; and tons of people on popheads.
   

Formatting

Songs - This is correct:

Man on the Moon: 10

You may also and are generally encouraged to leave comments with your scores!
This is correct (single space after the score, no colon):

Man on the Moon: 10 Thankful Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice

Any of the following formats are incorrect:

Man on the Moon 10 Thankful Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: 10: Thankful Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: (10) Thankful Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: Thankful Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice 10
Man on the Moon - 10 Thankful Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: 10/10 Thankful Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice

Albums - This is correct (add a colon after the album's title on your ballot if you're making a comment on the full album):

Album: Zooropa: Wow this rules, i wish they'd uploaded this album to my phone instead

Due Date: July 9

Reveal: July 14 - 16

Finally, here are the links you'll need to start rating again:

SUBMISSION LINK

A Pastebin link of the ballot can be found here
If you want a reminder of what rates are coming up soon, here is the link to the announcement post for the current cycle, and if you want to learn about all the past rates we have done, here is the rate history spreadsheet.

"show that the human form of the FOXP2 gene increases synaptic plasticity and dendrite connectivity in the basal ganglia. These results partly explain the enhanced capability of cortico-basal ganglia circuits in the human brain that regulate critical aspects of language, cognition, and motor control." Foxp2 Language Evolution
Cell FOXP2gene -(https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(16)31081-8?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982216310818%3Fshowall%3Dtrue)
Enk(Ea)i- twin Serpent , the creator of mankind was the Genius-Scientist who tries twice to create a civilized man, until Ninmah tells him that they must add their likeness. Thus creating the perfect Man. It is when he put speech in their mouths that Enlil is enraged claiming they make too much noise,as you'll see this was the 1st cataclysm.Enki is the protector and teacher of mankind. He is essentially a god of civilization, and it was natural that he was also looked upon as the creator of man, and of the world in general. Enki Teachings
SacredTexts After his involvement with the original genetic experiment, his compassion for the plight of the Homo sapien (Man the Wise) his role shifted his role from genetic engineer to that of a freedom fighter. Because of the Romans(Enlils offspring) ancient text were edited, altered ,the Garden of Eden describes Enki & Ninti creating humanity at Ea’s headquarters. The House of the God of Water,Wisdom, fertility, known as the Great Serpent, the Garden was his 'den'. Naturally, humanity Would be born in Ea-Den. You will see from the text cited here, that it was Enki who created & then immediately fell in love with his creation. He earned & embraced the nickname of "Trickster', because being the wisest he tricked the other "Authorities"(Elohim- or Council of Rulers) for humanity’s sake.
"The bodies of Adam and Eve were overlaid with a horny skin that was as bright as daylight, like a luminescent garment".
In Ancient India this is also the description given of the Serpent people, benefactors & genetic engineers of humanity. (Bioluminescent i.e. they spontaneously emit light due to a chemical reaction in their body. This would explain the so-called “jewels of the Naga” that illuminates the netherworld. Bioluminescence is found in many deep sea fishes and other marine organisms like jellyfish, algae, bacteria etc., who emit light from their bodies that make the seas glow and glitter. This occurs due to the presence of a light-emitting molecule called luciferin, which produces light when it reacts with oxygen. Many organisms also produce the catalyst luciferase,
In both Sumer & the Jewish text we see the key role of the woman, who did nothing wrong, quite the contrary it is she who breathes the soul or psyche into man. Bit Shimti - "House where the wind of life is breathed in" - Ninmah is the proud mother the "essence" of the blood of a young Anunnaki male was mixed with the egg of a female hominid. The fertilized egg was then inserted into the womb of a female Anunnaki. When, after a tense waiting period, a "Model Man" was born, Ninmah held the newborn baby up and shouted: "I have created! My hands have made it!"[
Enki boasted, “A Civilized man I have brought forth. A new kind of Earthling from my seed has been created, in my image and after my likeness. From seed they from food will grow, from ewes sheep they will shepherd. For Gods, and offspring henceforth shall be satiated.“
In Genesis, it is understood that the Serpent speaks,and was of equal footing wth "God". We saw in the Nag Hammadi, and other ancient texts from around the world. He was also most notable, because he stood on 2 feet like man, and was even taller. The Sumerian term Annun-Aki meant 'tall ones', the height of the Serpent was equal to that of a camel. Chap 3 of Genesis the argument is given that man can't be one of US. He must not be allowed to eat from the tree & live forever". Even here you see they're brothers.
"Enki, the Lord of abundance, of trustworthy commands, The Lord of wisdom, who understands the land, The leader of the gods, Endowed with wisdom, the Lord of Eridu"...
It has always been Enli, the archons who aim to "destroy mankind in his psychological function". Later, it's Enlil who tries to force the other Authorities to keep the secret from mankind.
"Come, all of us, and take an oath regarding the killing Flood!" But as all the others took the oath, Enki resisted firmly. "I refuse. Why will you bind me with an oath?" he asked, "Am I to raise my hand against my own humans?" Meanwhile, our father Enki understands the importance of love and kindness to the raising of consciousness, he acts with kindness in defending humanity and dealing with all the life on the planet.
Ninmah The Ninhursag , an mother of humanity is shown with humanity at her breast.The priesthood of Sumer & Egypt were Dolichocephalic, like mother. the Serpent Cults today still maintains the pure bloodlines that were mandated after the deluge.)
She was the goddess of the stony, rocky ground, the hursag. The H symbol, i described at all the sacred "navel' sites, especially Göbekli Tepe, Puma Punku, has the same meaning. The serpent always represents spiritual wisdom, life and healing. The first symbols of serpents were attributed to Enki or NU.DIM.MUD (Nudimmud), "He Who Fashions Thing and then Ninhursag.("Whose House Is Water") . Nag hammadi-Origin of our World
The text describes Ninti 'let fall a droplet of light, it flowed onto the water, and immediately a human being appeared, being androgynous. That droplet she molded first as a female body. Afterwards, using the body she molded it in the likeness of the mother, which had appeared. This was Eve of Life namely, the female instructor of life. Her offspring is the creature that is lord. Afterwards, the authorities called it "Beast", so that it might lead astray their modelled creatures. (The interpretation of "the beast" is "the instructor". For it was found to be the wisest of all beings.)"
"Then each of them cast his sperm into the midst of the navel of the earth fashioned man with his body resembling their body.His modelling took place by parts, one at a time. And their leader fashioned the brain and the nervous system. Afterwards, he appeared as prior to him. He became a soul-endowed man"
"when the Authorities (Yahweh) had saw Adam/Eve transgressed their rule it came upon them an earthquake and a great threat, to see the result of the help that was give. Their eyes were blinded by him so they were not able to do anything to him. They merely cursed him, since they were powerless. And everything that they created they cursed. There is no blessing from them. Good cannot come from evil."
"Since that day the authorities knew that truly there was something stronger than they. They would not have known except that their commandment was broken. They brought a great envy into the world only because of the immortal human."
Enki possessed the secret of me, 'culture, civilization', which is the genius of progress in knowledge to lead humanity. He invented civilization for the people and assigned to each his destiny. He created order in the cosmos. He filled the rivers with fish. He invented the plough and the yoke so that farmers could till the earth with oxen. In the most recent thread you see each ruler from Egypt to Pharoah carries the plough, the Serpent Priest would assist the Pharoah who was in charge of a successful harvest. "Master Servant " was the Pharoah
"Enki made the grain grow. He is the father of all plants.” Of course he wanted his children to eat from the Tree of knowledge, With the Tree of Knowledge humans had the chance to figure out everything on their own in time, to be as equal or better than him, as any parent wants for there child. . Had they eaten only from the Tree of Life, they would live but not have been more the wiser.
Why should acquiring knowledge be a sin?" (the original sin) and comparing it to modern day observations ought to wake you up to the fact that you live within societal system that was engineered by the members of "God" to empower themselves while keeping those who live within it ignorant
The sacred waters of knowledge had a double meaning, it represents both the creationof the human body(mostly water) & it is talking about the water carried by the Sages in places like La Mana, Ecuador. This water has amazing healing properties, it is apart of ritual today in the Llanganates for visiting initiates. Indigenous elders working with the scientific community have had fascinating results. Electrum Water Hiv nanoparticles Silver "he interaction of nanoparticles with biomolecules and microorganisms is an expanding field of research. Wis. In this work, we demonstrate that silver nanoparticles undergo a size-dependent interaction with HIV-1, with nanoparticles exclusively in the range of 1-10nm attached to the virus"
The Dogon call our Master Teachers, The Monitors, Nummo also meanw 'to make one drink'(water of wisdom). The Hebrews termed these Watchers as nun resh’ayin, meaning “those who watch.” In the Greek this is translated as gigantes or giants, a race that even the 907 B.C. writer Hesiod featured as being monstrous (due to their serpentine aspect no doubt). Now we can understand the role of the giants 2 seen across the world of ancient script in respect to the presence of the Watchers.
The Apkallu, these priest of Enki i wrote about in the last thread, the genetic, archaeologicalevidence has shown R1b-V88 & R1b-M269 were associated with agriculture, cattle domestication, metal working, language, geopolymer construction, everywhere a Pyramid or Navel was Built the Mende/Yoruba & the Austro-Melanesian Pacific Islander Ghost Hominids dna dna is found. The Aunu/Anu people migrated across the globe. Göbekli Tepe The human ummânū is attested in the Uruk List of Kings and Sages, while other references to bird-apkallū are legion
The purādu-fish apkallū is principally attested in Berossus.These seven were each advisers for seven different kings and therefore result in two different lists, one of kings and one of apkallu. Neither the sages nor the kings in these lists were genealogically related however. Apkallu and human beings were presumably capable of conjugal relationships since after the flood, the myth states that four apkallu appeared. These were part human and part Apkallu, and included Nungalpirriggaldim, Pirriggalnungal, Pirriggalabsu, and Lu-nana who were only two-thirds ApkalluKundalini is the spiritual energy or life force present in every human being, located at the base of the spine.
They were believed to have apotropaic qualities, guarding the home from evil.Sages FigurinesThe three types of apkallū are portrayed, with the human ummânū at far left, the Nisroc bird-apkallū type in the middle, and the antediluvian purādu-fish type at far right.3 Apkallu
Remember that it was the woman who was Pharoah, her consort became king. Egypt, like most of the most sophisticated ancient civilizations were ruled by women. Ninhursags the Goddess of the stony, rocky ground that masons use to spiritually ascend higher, the H at Göbekli Tepe & Puma Punku represents mother. 'As above(ninmah), So below(Enki)'. The underworld was never a negative place before the Romans. The Pyramid, the Great house was the Woman's house. Sumerian text speak of the foundation being the stone & the water just as the Pyramid text of Saqqara. The Sumerian E.KUR - "House Which is Like a Mountain." Pyramid was put under the patronage of Ninharsag.in hymns shes recognized as mistress of the "House With a Pointed Peak" - a pyramid. CoffinText 313:Horus says "I created my Eye in flame, I made my Eye a living serpent". Remember, the serpent he saw was bipedal, always. As Robert Monroe reported in the Gateway Experiments.
"House bright and dark of Heaven and Earth, for the great ships put together; E.KUR, House of the Gods with pointed peak; For Heaven-to-Earth it is greatly equipped. House whose interior glows with a reddish Light of Heaven, a beam of energy of creation which reaches far and wide; Its awesomeness touches the flesh. Awesome ziggurat, lofty mountain of mountains - Thy creation is great and lofty, men cannot understand it"
'House of Equipment, lofty house of Eternity: Its foundation are stones [which reach] the water; Its great circumference is set in the clay. House whose parts are skilfully woven together; House, the rightness of whose howling The Great-Ones-Who-See-and-Orbit brings down the rest . . . Mountain by which Utu ascends. [House] whose deep insides men cannot penetrate . . . Anu has magnified it.
In the Testament of Amram 2 men who resembling Living Serpents were seen fighting over him in his dream-vision. Even in ancient Text later we see "battles of the Gods', but in the very beginning We see the genius, Enki described as a kind, amicable child ONLY gets aggressive when his brother comes to harm his creation. Most importantly, Enlil & his realized he was powerless when Humanity had Enki by their side. So, his campaign was to disconnect us from that knowledge starting with the Bible & the Inquisition, they killed,raped, burned all of the knowledge that had allowed mankind to thrive.. then stashes the rest away, keeping it from the people. Dagon Catholicism
-In Egypt Ptah as Ea/Enki (Sumer he's also a cthonic diety "The Artful Creator") and Ra as his Firstborn son.
After Anu, Enlil, Enki and Ninmah had fashioned the black-headed people, Vegetation that is fruitful they multiplied in the land... In the Edin they placed them..
The descendants of Ham ("He Who is Hot" and also "The Dark-Hued One").... correspond to the African nation-lands of Nubia, Ethiopia, Egypt, and Lybia as the core nations of African resettlement, again beginning with the topographically higher areas..They were the Dogon, Hopis ancestors.. The ancient Chinese or Bak tribesmen which dominate China today called the Elamites KASHTI. Moreover, in the Bible the Book of Jeremiah (xlxx,35), we read "bow of Elam". It is interesting to note that both Khaltam-ti and Kashti as the name for Elam, agrees with Ta-Seti, the ancient name for Nubia located in the Meroitic Sudan. Sumerians Had Dolichocephalic skulls Genetic Evidence for convergent evolution SE AsianElamites-Mandig](http://olmec98.net/ElamPersians.png) Semitic speakers of Akkad and the non-Semitic speakers of Sumer were both sag-gig-ga or "blackheads".Elamite language, is closely related to the African languages including Egyptian and the Dravidian languages of India. Alchemy as Taught by Children of Enki
Antediluvian Kings of Sumer were known as Kings of Kush".the major Kushite tribe in Central Asia was called Kushana. The Kushan of China were styled Ta Yueh-ti or "the Great Lunar Race". Along the Salt Swamp, there was a state called Ku-Shih of Tibet. The city of K-san, was situated in the direction of Kushan, which was located in the Western part of the Gansu Province of China.
Here we find the divine decrees presented by Enki to Inanna are those referring to lordship, godship, the exalted and enduring crown, the throne of kingship, the exalted scepter, the exalted shrine, shepherdship, kingship, the numerous priestly offices, truth, descent into the nether world and ascent from it, the music From the tree in the Mesopotamian depiction hang two pieces of fruit. To the right of the tree is the half-moon symbol of Ea; to the left is the planet symbol of Anu.
Lastly the pineal gland(pine cone). In India it is a stick of bamboo with seven knots… which represents the spinal column with its seven centers or chakras… It also indicated the spinal cord…while the serpents were symbolical of the two channels called in Eastern terminology Ida and Pinagala; and the fire enclosed within it was the serpent-fire which in Sanskrit is called kundalini." Even the natural behaviors of the pine cone have an esoteric meaning:
"as it ripens, the pine cone slowly opens to release its mature seeds."
This process is symbolic of the expansion of consciousness that accompanies the opening of the pineal gland and the awakening of the Third Eye. The metaphor is a valuable and stimulating mental lesson of an esoteric phenomenon that cannot otherwise be seen or explained since it occurs inside the brain..
The One sure way, and what's been happening wthin the last century especially is to keep knowledge away from the human race. If we as a collective are so ingrained in our beliefs, how can we ever be open to new ideas pertaining to the nature of reality?

Link to chapter on RoyalRoad
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“Ahh… That feels good… Right there, right there… Ooh… Thank the Lord…”
“Old man, could you be a bit quieter while I’m doing it?”
It was right after bath time, and Ayomide was busy with drying everybody’s hair as usual. “[Wind], [Wind], [Wind]…” A lack of towels and hairdryers made her magic essential in making sure nobody got a cold. The wind also doubled as a sort of massage, which was why old man Brown was making those odd noises of pleasure as written above.
Tater, who had been the first one to get his hair dried, was watching the two while he himself was trying to light a fire for the night. It wasn’t an easy process, he had to strike a steel kitchen knife to a piece of flint in hopes that the kindling would catch fire, which it sometimes refused to do. “Lady Orange, can’t you cast some fire for poor old me?”
Ayomide answered without thinking. “No, I cannot.”
“Why not? Ain’t you a magician? I thought you could do all kinds of stuff.” Tater had heard tales of magicians comitting many wondrous acts, yet Ayomide’s job of being a glorified drying machine seemed too ordinary.
Tater’s question had ignited Brown’s curiosity as well. “I’ve been wondering the same thing, young lady.”
The old man’s encounter and reckoning with ‘magic’ had not been easy, ‘thou shalt not suffer a witch to live’ made it pretty clear what the Lord thought about magicians. However, the ‘magic’ of Gemeinplatz didn’t have much to do with acts of magic mentioned in the Bible. Brown had concluded that this ‘magic’ was most likely a highly malleable, misnamed natural force of some sort (which could be used benevolently or malevolently like any other force) that hadn’t been present back on Earth. Thus, he himself avoided using the word ‘magic’, though he hadn’t yet found any other word to replace it.
“Right… I got taught this stuff by an old lady around ten years ago, so take this with a grain of salt.” She wasn’t exactly the best authority to give the obligatory exposition on magic, but Ayomide would have to give it a shot. “So, the world is apparently made of seven elements. Earth, water, air, fire, aether, light and dark.”
“I know earth, water, air, fire and aether to be elements, young lady, as devised by Aristotle. What might be the other two?” Brown had died around the time when the atomic theory was slowly gaining mainstream acceptance. The four (plus one, aether) elements were the best that Brown, an avid reader of the classics, had in terms of knowledge in physics.
“Right. The names of the other elements explain themselves. Light is, well, light. You know, the stuff that gives life to plants and animals, hence healing stuff is in the domain of light. Like what I did with the old man’s arm. And dark is, dark. The opposite of light. Disease, death, mind control, all that stuff.” Ayomide scratched her head, trying to think of more couth ways to elaborate on the elements. “Well, as I said, I heard about it all when I was a kid. So that’s all I’ve got on the elements.”
Tater seemed unsatisfied. “So, what’s that got to do with you being unable to light a fire?”
“I was getting to that point, kid. So, with this magic stuff, everybody’s attuned to different elements at different levels. That’s why you see different folks casting different things. Far as I’ve seen, I’m attuned to wind and light.”
“Interesting…” Brown’s mind was more at ease. It seemed that this ‘magic’ didn’t have any relation anything ungodly like the Devil himself or any other demons. A question popped up in his relaxed mind. “And why do you have to shout ‘wind’ every time you need to blow wind?”
“You don’t actually have to shout anything. Watch.” Ayomide paused, thinking really hard. Wind, wind, uhh… Let there be wind. Wind, wind, wind… [Wind]! A sudden breeze blew towards Brown’s face. “You need to envision what you want to bring forth. Shouting what you want to do just makes it easier.”
“We have to be careful around people then. Just gagging them might not do the job.” Brown seemed satisfied as he got up. “It’s getting late. You know what they say…”
Tater finished Brown’s sentence. “…early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. We don’t need to hear it for the umpteenth time, captain.”
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76th of Spring, 5859 A copper mine atop Mount Curry, Azdavay / Casamonu
Shinasi hadn’t expected to get himself employed again this suddenly and so soon. Of course, he wasn’t going to the copper mine just to get employed, he was under Brown’s orders to scout out the facility and formulate a plan to help the slaves escape with minimal casualties.
He had gotten on the road as soon as he had bid his farewells to the people of the cave. The road from the cave to the copper mine wasn’t too long; it was only around an hour’s walk. Shinasi found himself at the mine before the sun had properly risen.
One of the overseers tipped his hat in greeting. “Good morning, Shinasi was it?”
Shinasi tipped his helmet in return. “Morning. Yes, that’d be me.”
“The boss wants to see you, before you begin working.” The overseer pointed to the biggest building in the area. “He should be in the mansion.”
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Shinasi parted ways with this overseer, making his way to the door of the ‘mansion’. It was a pretty small building for a mansion, with only two floors. Guess this is the best you can get in the mountains. The noble who lived here probably wasn’t the richest. Shinasi proceeded to knock on the front door. He was greeted by a maid opening the door.
“I’m the new guard that Sir Algernon’s looking for.” All this formality had already made Shinasi begin to feel sick.
The maid took a disinterested look at Shinasi. “Leave your weapons at the door please.” Shinasi obliged and parted ways with his beloved spear and shield. “Come in.”
Shinasi was greeted by an indoors that, while definitely affluent, wasn’t too rich in decoration. Most of the items were made or decorated with copper, probably with the copper that had been gathered in the mine. There was even a bust of what Shinasi assumed to be the owner, he couldn’t read the inscription below it, of the mansion. The maid opened a door, wherein lay a thirtysomething in a sharp one-piece suit and bearing an even sharper mustache. Shinasi removed his helmet and held it over his chest, which was the standard way to greet a superior in Gemeinplatz. “Greetings, sir.” He even bowed down a bit to add a extra bit of sycophancy.
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Sir Algernon looked pleased with the actions of Shinasi. “Welcome, I see that you are a well-bred man Shinasi. It’s rare to find such adventurers.” He gestured towards a seat that sat in front of him. “Here, you may sit down. I am Sir Algernon Satō-Wang of Curry, and this is my wife, Leila. We have two children as well, though they’re currently a bit busy being tutored upstairs.” Shinasi had missed the woman sitting on the other side of the room, he bowed down to her as well.
Leila was fanning her face with a paper fan as she spoke. “I’m happy that he seems to be different compared to the other adventurer we called up, dear.” Shinasi noticed that her abdomen was greatly swollen, signaling that she was pregnant. Her outfit was equally as sharp as Algernon’s.
Algernon nodded his head in agreement. “Indeed, I have high hopes for him.”
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That’s a bit too much for a temporary worker, isn’t it… “Sir, please, you do not need to spend so many words of praise someone coming here temporarily.” Showing humility was a great way to warm up with the nobles, or that was what Shinasi had learned anyways.
“Temporary? Right, that’s what was told to you. After seeing you however, I believe you could have permanent employment. It’s hard to get good retainers up in these mountains.” Algernon switched to business mode, extending his hand toward Shinasi for a handshake. “Two libra a day, with accommodation and food taken care of and one day break every decameron?” He was a master at blitzkrieg, his krieg being flattery and business.
Two libra wasn’t bad, it amounted to somewhere around four loaves of bread. Shinasi didn’t think too hard about it while shaking hands with Algernon however, for he wasn’t here for a job. “Thank you so, so much sir.”
“Well, let’s celebrate with something to drink, shall we?” Algernon clapped his hands as loudly as he could muster. “Ekene! Ejike!”
The young maid that had greeted Shinasi at the door returned with a tray with teacups, along with a butler that looked to be her brother who carried a pot of tilia tea. Ekene, the sister, set the teacups while Ejike, the brother, began pouring tea into them without saying a word. While pouring Ejike’s hand slipped and the tea from the pot flew onto Algernon’s oh-so precious suit.
“What the- Damn you, dog!” The calm, businesslike demeanor of Algernon suddenly shifted to that of a savage. He was about to stand up to enact physical punishment, before Leila tugged on his suit. “Dear, be calm.”
Ekene and Ejike were watching their master in fear as he went back to business mode. “Right, I probably shouldn’t damage the slaves too much. But this is the kind of actions these uppity darkskins pull off when you don’t let me tutor them properly, woman. He paused to think of a punishment that wouldn’t make his wife too mad. “No food for you today. Now git!”
The siblings obliged and left the room posthaste. Algernon turned toward Shinasi to address his new employee. “You see, these darkskins are like dogs. You need to use brute force to get them to understand anything, or else they get uppity like they did just now. Don’t hesitate to get physical, as long as you don’t kill or permanently damage them. Got that?”
Shinasi tried his best to keep a poker face. “Yes sir.” He had never seen how masters treated their slaves. Algernon’s behavior seemed no different to how Shinasi had seen lords treat their underlings, to how they had treated his parents. “I’ll be sure to give them a good whack if they step out of line.”
“Good, good. I think we’ll get along well.” Algernon smiled toward Shinasi, with genuine warmth that seemed out of place after what he had just done and ordered to be done to his slaves. He seemed to genuinely value his retainers. “You should report to the head overseer, he’s the one responsible for you.”
“Understood sir. I’ll be taking my leave, then.” Shinasi added a few more words of gratitude and flattery as he got up and left the room. His heart was weighed down by heavy emotions as he did so. He had initially joined Brown mostly on a whim, intending to escape from Azdavay. The words he spent at the night encounter with Ayomide, they were mostly points he had copied over from the captain’s speech without much personal elaboration.
Now, however, Shinasi was slowly beginning to understand why he must do what he’d do. He made his way to the head overseer, with newfound determination slowly budding in his heart.

Race Information

• Name: Cork City Half Marathon.
• Date: 4th June, 2023.
• Distance: 21.1 kilometers (13.1 miles).
• Location: Cork, Ireland.
• Website: https://www.corkcitymarathon.ie/
• Time: 01:33:XX

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	01:29:59	No
B	01:34:30 (PB)	Yes
C	Just Finish	Yes

Splits

Kilometer	Time
1	4:02
2	4:07
3	4:12
4	4:09
5	4:12
6	4:16
7	4:15
8	4:16
9	4:19
10	4:11
11	4:20
12	4:14
13	4:20
14	4:15
15	4:03
16	4:21
17	5:07
18	4:50
19	4:47
20	4:57
21	4:59

Training

My main goals after coming off of a 01:39:00 half marathon training block were to increase my mileage (in this case, kilometerage?) and introduce more speed sessions. My plan was to build up to a peak of around 40-50KMs per week and sustain that for ten weeks before a two-week taper leading up to the race. I didn't follow any particular plan, but I used the principles of the Lydiard method to divide my training block into smaller focused sections. After a few weeks of base-building, I redesigned my training plan to incorporate all of the important sections (base/speed/hills) into each week, as building up safely from my previous average mileage of 15 kilometers per week would reduce the likelihood that my body would see any benefit from the late speed/hill training additions. After a while, I removed the hill training sessions and changed them to another base-building run, as the area I train in is quite hilly. I also included a training run at a half-marathon distance with a goal of 01:34:59 to see how much the training had helped halfway through. Even though I had, for the first time, a decently mapped out plan, my training block went absolutely terribly. I only sustained a peak mileage of 29KM for three weeks before notching up a grand total of 24KMs (around 15mi) in the six weeks leading up to the training. While other aspects of my life were grateful, I was feeling very, very under-prepared. However, the elevation chart for the race had less elevation changes than a 5KM run near my home, so I was fairly confident that at least the hills wouldn't destroy me.

Pre-race

I arrived at the start line well before the start time as Cork happens to be in the top one hundred most congested cities in the world, and the fancy collection of road closures would certainly not help alleviate this. I decided to run the HM in the Hoka Mach 5, and this was a very easy decision for me. They are my only running shoes. My nutrition plan prior to the race was to have a light breakfast and then take one gel around 40 mins before the firing of the horn, and then another at 50 mins into the race. I had bought a box of High-5 Energy Gel Aquas in the orange flavour when I first started running, but I'm sorry to say that I have become completely allergic to them. Even though I appreciate the consistency, the taste has just become absolutely disgusting and I find that as I consume more my stomach becomes less fond of them. They do now happen to be two months out of date, which could have exacerbated the issue, but I suppose that's how hard they have been for me to consume. My budget told me they were the best option, but my tastebuds and stomach have since disagreed. I lined up at the sub-90 mins marker and eagerly awaited the arrival of the pacers, as I decided that I would follow them rather than my watch. Unfortunately for me, my ability to be a pacer for my own race is just not there.

Race

The first 6 kilometers were just as every other race has been for me. My adrenaline levels were high, I was enjoying actually starting from a position where I could see the start line from the firing of the horn for once, and I was comfortably keeping up with the pacer. I felt very strong since my breathing felt nice and relaxed, whereas in training runs it can feel like being thrown into cold water sometimes... a bit of a panicked shock before settling down after the first 2 kilometers or so.
By the 7th kilometer, as the course started to undergo some elevation changes, so too did my confidence. During these next 5 or so kilometers, even though I managed to keep up with the pacer, I was working harder and this caused me to question my ability to see out the race in the sub-90 pace group. By the 10th kilometer, with still just more than halfway to go, I was seriously considering pulling back and waiting for the 1:40 pacer balloons to run past me so I could join them. However, I decided to keep going and try and stick with the pacer. While the local support throughout the course was a bit more sparse than other races I have done, I really enjoyed getting sprayed with water guns, and these little things really kept me going through the toughest portion of the race. I was also appreciative to have some sports drinks at the water stations that I could substitute for my expired gels.
After the 12th kilometer, we were getting past the worst of the small hills (and the hills in general). I had managed to stick with the pacer through all of the mental challenges of the previous 5 kilometers, and while I was still working harder than the first 6 kilometers, I was feeling much more in control and confident that I could maintain my desired pace for the remainder of the race.
Once we turned a corner around the 16th kilometer and I saw a straight 2KM stretch back into the city center, my mental stamina just dissipated into the heat of the day. I have generally no problem navigating through turns and rolling hills because there's at least some variation and unpredictability. However, seeing that straight road stretch as far as I could see caused my legs to slow down and slowly the balloon of the pacer started to slip further and further ahead, even though physically I probably could've kept up for a bit more, my mind decided that it was enough for today. With the heat, and the long stretch of road ahead, I slowed down to a walking pace to recover for a bit before starting to run again. I checked my watch and a PB was still on the cards. As the last few kilometers slowly ticked by, the prospect of getting a PB kept me going. My adrenaline levels picked up as onlookers lined the streets of the city center. Not only was it nice to have the streets empty of cars, but I felt like some sort of professional athlete having a large portion of the city watching you cross the finish line. Seeing 01:32:58 on the electronic board at the finish line as I rounded the final bend gave me enough energy to power through the last hundred meters, before the relief of finishing kicked in. I was probably more relieved to see the granola bars just past the finish line though.

Post-race

I was thrilled with getting a PB and placing within the top 200 overall and top 20 within my category, which I was really surprised by. I'm still somewhat pondering what I could have achieved had my training been more consistent, especially having hit a nice half-marathon time in training, but it seems the heat was really affecting everyone as I normally place around 400-700 overall. Even though towards the last five or so kilometers it was apparent my goal pace was slipping ahead of me, I kept going and tried to do my best to finish. One of my biggest running philosophies is/was to just not stop, even if you really want to (unless something is hurting of course!), because usually it's just your mind trying to convince you to quit even when you can do it. Well, I still agree with it in principle but can no longer preach what I don't practice I guess. I learned during the race that slowing to walk is totally okay, once you cross the finish line running! My mental stamina was really challenged, but I enjoy this aspect of running because even though it's torture at times, you're competing against yourself, which is quite rare in sports. I'm going to take a week off to recover before starting a new training block but first I need to design the new training block. I'm going to follow a pre-made plan this time as I also learned that homebrew plans don't really work (well, maybe if I'm more consistent). My focus is now shifting to another HM in October, and hopefully with better training (or realistically, some fancy new carbon-plated racers) I will finally hit my goal of running a sub-90 HM. Any advice (besides picking up some better gels and increasing mileage) would be really helpful and highly appreciated!
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