There are so many things I want to do and I just can’t do them.
I want to be a writer, but I can’t get myself to do it. I want to make YouTube content, and I’ve finished one video in 6 months.
Nothing I do seems to help. I’ve tried setting limits on the apps that distract me the most, but I’ll just override the limit or do something else that’s pointless and unproductive. I’ve tried goal management apps and lists but I just ignore them or forget they exist.
Depression meds made me want to unalive.
ADHD meds helped a little, but by the time I got home from work, they’d have already worn off and I’d be too tired to keep doing things. Then my provider stopped accepting my insurance anyway.
I’ve tried multiple therapists and they have not helped.
It’s not even just stuff I want to do, I can’t do the things I NEED to do. I’ll forget to eat for whole days sometimes, and if I do remember, I won’t have to motivation to make anything or even grab some chips from the cabinet.
How do y’all do it? Maybe this is more of a depression issue than an ADHD one, but… how do you do anything?

I was 18 when I met my fuck buddy, he was 29 years old at the time. I just went for the hookup but never had I thought this was going to turn out to go deeper than just fwb. He made me feel loved. He pulled my body into his arms and I felt the butterflies. He initiated the first kiss always. He held my hand first on many occasions. We had so much in common. About two years later, I was obsessing over him, wanted to be with him as often as I could and would always want to be with him. But he indirectly turned me down and said to me he never wants to be in a relationship with anyone. The dude was a player and I would always see him on Grindr looking for other boys to fuck. We were never in a romantic relationship but it felt like we were, and I would always cry in private, and I was always devastated. I wasn’t even his first choice and I allowed myself to be stringed along.
Anyways I still forgave him, and after awhile I started moving on from him. By this time, I wasn’t the skinny dude I once was and I became more fit and toned. Despite this, I still continued being friends with him, and we even had some sex there and then, but so much less. I joined the military and left my hometown last year and when I came back 6 months ago I was excited to meet him again. I was mainly looking forward to hanging out with him and catching up. He basically gained so much weight and I tried to not focus on that. I gave him a blowjob but i wasn’t into it at all, and i wanted it to be over. The passion wasn’t there anymore and i couldn’t even stay hard. This wasn’t the man i was attracted to. He suddenly wants me to be his and have casual sex when I come back to visit my hometown again this summer but Im clearly not interested engaging in any sexual activities with him anymore because he’s gotten larger.
As I reflect on this, I don’t know what to make of the situation. I let a lot of the bs fly, and after awhile I do appreciate our friendship but at the same time I ask myself, “Dam, is this really the guy I was crying for.” I don’t know how to go about this, but I don’t want any sexual relations with him, nor do I want to be his partner. How should I deal with this situation?

It's hard to start this so hopefuly this wont turn out all over the place. I am a 22 y.o. guy from germany and ever since I can remember while beinng not exactly introverted but not totaly extroverted either I am was unable to be with people around my age and I really dont know why.
I want to connect with people but feel like everybody my age does is: travel the world, drink alcohol, take drugs, smoke whatever they can get, party every second night, go to (gym, concerts/ raves and bars) and talk about politics. All of those things I dislike, never do or cant connect with.
So what do I do?
I love to talk about life, Poetry and Philosophy. Having meaningful conversations in general is nice. I play Chess. I am a night owl type and love to stay awake up to like 4 am - 6 am. When I read its usualy some mangas or life advice/ improvement books. I play the same 4 video games since years and cant get tired of them. (they are multiplayer games with no actual end. I do play different single player games ofc.) I write storys just for fun and not to publish them nessesarly. I work as a salesman (I actually do enjoy anything that has to do with talking to customers and selling stuff). When I have the time I build computers. I do watch anime and some main stream tv shows and movies. I visit friends and family a lot (I just dont really connect with them in the things they spent their time with. But I really like them and their personalitys and see that they except me the way I am). I like to have a balance between calm and collected and funny/ weird and outgoing. List goes on but thats the main things.
And as a side note I do take care of my body and would not say I look very out of the ordinary.
I have tried to find people in multiple of my interests and either I encounter huge age gaps. The people I meet only do that one singular thing but cant really connect with anything else I do. The activity is just not very fit to make friends and connections with it. People dont like me as a person which is fine since you cant like everybody. The community around that activity is very unattractive to me. Or there is nothing going on in the area that I live in where I could go too to meet people.
Am I really that much of an unordinary guy that I cant find anybody that remotely shares my interests. Am I just borring or could it be something I am just unable to see and have to self reflect on? I get so frustrated with people around my age and how so many of them surpress their problems, live a destructive life and consume whatever aids this lifestyle. I cant associate with the current way things are in this time.
And in all of this, going out and meeting people didnt help me so far same as much as my desperate search online. All I really look for is just somebody in person that connects with atleast 2 or 3 things I really like so that we could have a nice personal chemistry build up and hang out.
So what should/ can I do?
Thank you very much for taking your time and reading trough all or atleast most of this. Please excuse my bad english and probably a good amount of typos.

In Spot's backstory. he explains how he brought a spider from Earth 42 to 1610, which escaped and bit our Miles. In the short flashback, he shows the spider next to 42 Miles, with the braids. it is unclear whether the spider was radioactive at this point or not, but if it was radioactive before then I think this suggests that Miguel was wrong about Miles and that he truly was supposed to be Earth 42's Spiderman.
If it was already radioactive, then it being near Miles suggest that he was destined to become spiderman. It sort of appears like the spider was going to bite Miles before it was brought to 1610. It is possible that the canon for Earth 42 had Miles actually being bit instead of Peter. That same spider technically found a Miles and bit it as it was "supposed to".
The movie is purposely unclear about these details (as expected) but I think this could suggest that Miguel was wrong about Miles and that he truly was supposed to be there.

I was wondering how much Pizza Hut Delivery Drivers make hourly (Driving & In House Pay). Does tips really make $20-25 per hour like advertised? I think it's healthy to talk about wages and I couldn't really find a thread that had this information.
I have been working at Pizza Hut for a month as a driver, some good days, some not so good (depends on the shift and the days). This job is heavily based on tips and the paycheck isn't great.
I am located in Utah and make $7.25 per hour on the road and in house $10 per hour, around .30-40 cents for Rate Per Mile (POV). I wanted to see if all drivers get the state minimum wage when driving or if the tips balance it out. Normally I bring in $20-90 (depending on the shift and day). Everyone at my work (besides the highschoolers) have a second job, including me, so I do this a 3-4 days a week. The location isn't the best, it's in a small town that's pretty spread out (we deliver to three towns, 10 mins max range I believe).
It's a pretty easy job so I am not complaining, just wanted to see if I am breaking even. I love my coworkers and enjoy the work environment. Thank you in advance.

My best friend and I talked about this last night and they mentioned things that I had forgotten, probably as a trauma response. I get so angry that he has found success when he deserves nothing. I was young at the time of dating him and didn’t know how much he harmed me at the time. To start, I was 14 when I met him online. He was a little older, I think 16. When he turned 18, he told me he wanted to move to the same state as me and go to school. At the time I didn’t think it could happen, but sure enough he got accepted into a school 10 minutes from my house. He moved from Los Angeles to Pennsylvania with his entire family, including his schizophrenic father. Over the course of the first two years he was here his father would go on tangents about mass murder in front of me. I was horrified and I think this was the point I realized I made a mistake. Before I knew it, my ex (we will call him R), was describing in graphic detail how he planned to murder his father. I remember one time in specific where we went for a walk at a lake and he said “I wonder how many dead people are in this lake. Bet no one will ever find them.” When I turned 18, I started to make friends my age, who naturally wanted to party and have a good time. This was when the first set of “rules” were put into place. I wasn’t allowed to go out without him and I would never be allowed to drink alcohol or smoke marijuana in my life. If I chose to do so, he would retaliate against me. I had not intended to drink prior to 21, but he quickly informed me I would NEVER be allowed to. I mentioned that I had planned a trip to Las Vegas for my 21st (at this point, it was very far away) and he told me I would not be going. I agreed and let him convince me that it was for my own good. When I turned 21, my best friend, G, had came from where they now lived to visit. G warned R ahead of time that he smokes marijuana for anxiety (legal in his state) and planned to bring me some to help me with mine. R lost it and told me if I participated I would be “punished”. I ended up trying it, which resulted in him screaming at me in a hotel lobby and threatening to turn me into the police. My friend immediately began worrying about my safety and told me I needed to leave. Naturally, I ignored it. Then it got really bad. I discovered he was talking to a girl behind my back and was actively making plans to meet up with her for sex. She messaged me to tell me it was happening and promised me she didn’t know he was in a relationship. When I brought it to him, he told me he could not show me their chat because his phone “factory reset” and erased it, but he never tried to arrange their meet up. I told him that I knew what he was doing and he shoved me for the first time. Naturally, I kept quite and never told anyone. Overtime it progressed, until eventually he thrown me to the floor in my parents house and stood over top of me as I tried to stop him from killing his dad. For a moment I thought “this is when he kills me”. He raised his hand to me and stopped before bringing it down on me. To this day I will never know if he would have if my parents weren’t there. Finally he admitted to me he thought he was a psychopath. I didn’t know what to say, so I just asked him if he even loved me, as psychopaths typically aren’t capable of love. He said “I don’t know. Probably not”. That was the point that I planned my exit. I started seeing him less, which must have triggered something in him. Our entire relationship I remained a virgin. We had agreed to wait until marriage, though I do not personally hold that sentiment, it was a conservative belief of his. He bought me a “plan B” pill and told me that I owed him my virginity for staying with me. He came to my house unannounced (he stood in bushes near my house until I got home and followed me inside) and told me that I would be giving it to him. I was scared and I let him abuse me. Right as he was intending to complete the action, I told him no and I was not allowing him to go through with it. I don’t remember anything else about that night, but my friend recalls me calling afterwards crying saying that he had attempted to force me and was unsuccessful. He stormed out of my house and I thought I would never see him again. This was around the time I made a new friend. My friend and I were hanging out when I got a call from R’s dad telling me that R went missing and it was my fault, so I needed to help find him. I left my friend and immediately went looking with my mom. While we were out searching, I got a call to my cell phone from my grandparents home phone. It was R. He told me that I needed to go there “right now”. The ominous tone and the fact he has explicitly told me how he would kill people horrified me. We rushed there to find him sobbing on the couch. I didn’t know what to do and to this day I can’t help but to think that he was going to kill my grandmother and couldn’t go through with it. Eventually, we got him to leave with his dad and I never saw him again. What followed was text messages depicting how he would beat his parents with bats, trying to guilt me into meeting up with him and having sex, and other things of that nature. The last time we talked before I blocked him, he told me that he quit his job and threw knives at the workers, calling the homosexual manager he had a derogatory name and walked out. Skip to now, he is a big name in the Prog metal scene. A lot of my friends know who he is and love him and his music. I have friends that worship him not knowing what he had done. He told them all I cheated on him and treated him poorly, and says this to a lot of people he meets. I suppressed so much of it for so long. I want to come clean to everyone, but I know it would destroy Rs reputation and potentially result in him coming after me to harm me. He stole close to $5,000 of music gear bought for mutual use that he was supposed to give me half of (I bought it all, but didn’t want to enforce it and get injured.) I still live in a degree of fear of him as he knows everything about my family still. I just needed to vent after someone told me he was working with a member of the band “Of mice and men” and asked me if I regretted ending the relationship. He is a horrible person and deserves nothing. I hate that everyone he meets thinks that I am the bad guy when he abused me over the course of most of my youth and I just needed to talk about it.

Has there ever been a celebrity that you've just been absolutely obsessed with, wanting to do some roleplay with, but they're relatively obscure so it's hard to find someone who wants to? Well, you've come to the right place! Just tell me what celebrity, no matter how obscure or small they may be, and we'll come up with something!
I'll be entirely honest, I don't expect this to get many, if any, replies. It's a super niche audience, but I don't really care. I've been on the other side, and have decided why not give people the opportunity to do what I've wanted to do for many years! As such, if you also have a more mainstream celebrity, feel free to reach out as well. The keyword is "Mountain".
Im open for about any scenario, although I'd greatly prefer if it involved a female celeb rather than a male, but Im willing to discuss.
ALSO, to anyone who reached out to me previously and I didn't respond, I apologize! My chats were not working and so I had to clear them! Hopefully you'll consider reaching out again.

its 00:08am where im from, I just can't sleep, I just keep thinking about money and how im gonna get there. I'm 19 and I have around 75k to my name, im also at university and doing engineering. my main reason for this comment is "how do I do it?". I could dabble in stocks and shares but I dont know what to look for. im trying to find events to go to and learn and surround myself with people with a similar mind to me, but Its just not working. I've worked many hours to get to where I am and was fortunate that my crypto coin blew up but im sure that I won't get that lucky again and need a real way to make money. I've came up with the statement "follow where the rich put their money". I go to central London and I see these massive buildings and all these fancy cars and something in me just tells me I need it. whenever someone ask the question where do you see yourself in 5 years, my mind just goes black but one thing is that I just can't imagine myself being middle class or just enough to get buy and finally live my life at 60.

I just want to drop a post to express myself.
I feel so bored overall, I prefer deep amounts of solitude, learning, and experiencing things that are meaningful. Don't have a car, take the bus to work, and with the summer heat, I don't enjoy being out as much (don't do well with heat/humidity).
Looking back at everything, it is crazy to see just how many people in the world live out their lives in completely different ways. In high school, everyone is just stuck, unable to live and expand themselves. Now, as an adult, with our ever-increasing changing world, everything is constantly transitioning from one thing to the next. Extraverts have an easier time to just bandwagon all of these new things.
I just generally feel nothing, no value, in the modern society. I don't enjoy playing the game of dress up, don't enjoy talking about random topics, and find the whole game to be dull and empty. What I value above all, is the growth of ourselves, and the shared interest in whoever has the same vision or values. I want to inspire, lead a life that is challenging, and experience the passion, depth, and values of life.
Technology has rapidly transformed the entire world, both positive and negative. We have constant gratifications for anything, we can find any group to identify ourselves with, and most of the internet is used for purely hedonistic and cheap conveniences in life. This is in complete opposition with the value of depth and passion that I crave.
Yet, it was though this technology, that I was able to develop who I am now.

Reddit has been on the downhill for a long time, some of you may already know about it. But I'll go briefly about it.

What's wrong with reddit?

So much. From censorship (thanks to reddit's admins having absolute control over the website. (Need proof? All you have to do is visit RedditCensorship and WatchRedditDie), to not caring about it's users at all, and that's not just about the recent API changes that literally kills hundreds of 3rd-party apps (the major reason many even use Reddit in the first place) but many other ignorant changes in the past that reddit's users (us, ones that keep reddit alive) have been against, such as reddit's redesign and decision to pivot away from from old.reddit.com, heck there is a next new redesigned UI incoming, that is currently being A/B tested, guess what? It's worse than this, and nobody asked (I mean, the current redesigned UI already lacks many features like CSS from old.reddit.com, it seems like reddit wants to move again to an even worser "modern" redesigned UI).
In simple terms, reddit is a centralized, closed source big tech platform.

1. Centralized - Reddit Admins have absolute control over you in this website, they can anytime censor you.
2. Closed source - Reddit used to be open source, but yeah, speaking of reddit's downfall, they made reddit closed source, which means no more transparency.
3. Big Tech - They have simply become a yet another big tech corporation, they care about profits over users, soon they are planning to become a public company, hence the desperation to please investors will only get worse, and listening to us, the users? Even worse (as if it was any better before anyways).

How can Lemmy solve this?

1. Decentralization - Lemmy developers do NOT have absolute control over you. Got censored? You can always join another server managed by different admins or even self-host your own server. Your server, your rules.
2. Open source - Lemmy's complete development happens in-front of the public, fully transparent, fully and freely accessible to everyone, and yes, including the API. Open source also means public contributions are key to the platform, your voice will matter.
3. User-funded - Lemmy's main focus is not profit, and it is mainly user-funded through donations, similar to other popular projects such as Mastodon.

(23M) Every now and then when I'm over sleeping (usually depression naps throughout the day or oversleeping after my alarms wake me up, I'll have episodes where as I'm drifting in and out of sleep.
While I feel like I'm awake (I say feel because it's not easy to say undeniably that this isn't all just some repeating bad dream y'know?) I often find myself laying down and being very drowsy and as I feel my head begin to lul back, I get this fuzzy feeling in my head and hear a growing static noise that unless I stir enough, I will fall into a frozen state where I can't speak or move, I've tried moving during these slips, but it just feels like my arms are stuck to a glue trap while in reality, I can't move at all.
To free myself I usually just force myself to take deep breaths (I feel like I can't breathe but I'm sure I am atleast subconsciously) forcing 3 deep breaths or so usually will be enough to bring me out of it, however this usually repeats 4 or 5 times until I just pass out again, I frequently think about just sitting up and to stop sleeping but similarly to sleeping past my alarms, I simply let myself fall back asleep or back into the paralysis loop.
I do not have any horronightmare incidents at all during these episodes. No demons, memories, or other feelings/entities other than what I've described. I merely wish I could wake up and get out of bed, and consistently try to breathe deeply enough to prevent that static from growing.
Does anyone else experience this? I'm not going to claim it's chronic, it doesn't happen every day or even every week, but it can be that frequent when it's at its worst. I suppose it depends on my emotions and how many sad naps I take or how unmotivated I am to wake up

I remember after Obama became president, many black Americans saw this as an amazing moment in history and something that showed them anything is possible, that your skin color is not going to stop you from reaching your dreams. But then I was hearing the opposite, with the next president, with many people saying how scary it is that anybody can become the president, suggesting only very select and qualified people should be accepted.
Anyhow, I am curious if there is a word for such expressions with opposite double meanings because I want to find other expressions like it.

nowadays it's so easy to call yourself the thing you're trying to be, and in many instances that's all that's needed. fake it till you make it from there on out. thankfully, for things where it still really matters (law, medicine, engineering, etc.) some kind of formal schooling and accreditation is mandatory, but for many other things, the bar to entry is as low as merely referring to yourself as the thing, in this case a professional photographer.
what does it mean to be a "professional" anyways? is it just some arbitrary title that you can lay on yourself, when the timing feels right, after having just stuck it out for x-amount of years? or does some committee magically appear, bestowing the title on you in some grandiose ceremony? or is the lone metric these days simply getting paid to provide the service of photography?
i'm very interested to know.
myself, i was a college dropout who started shooting at the age of 19 without any formal training whatsoever (i used to think you HAD to shoot "at the lenses lowest number" to get good images). after a few months, maybe a year, of shooting mostly friends from high school, i shot a real model after reaching out over facebook. their agent liked the photos enough to invite me to shoot other models from their roster. from there, other agencies noticed and asked me to shoot their models, nothing for money yet. then some local + online magazines, small brands, etc. came, eventually even sketchy paid craigslist gigs. then less sketchy paid gigs, like for physiotherapists, real estate agents, etc. all in tandem which trying to "make it" as a fashion photographer.
it's now been about 12 years, and i've shot for various different magazines (no a-list, or even b-list, magazines, but some respectable ones), major record labels, various brands, and regularly still test shoot for pretty much all the major modelling agencies in my city.
but i still don't feel that i'm a professional, not even one bit, frankly.
i'm the first person to call on my bs- i know my charade.
i think my work sucks, doesn't matter how much some people might praise it. imposter syndrome, blah, blah, whatever, sure... i'm no great, that's objective fact. i'm so far from being the photographer i dream of being, from all perspectives- technical, compositional, etc.
but back to why i don't think... or, rather, how i know... i'm not a true professional...
it comes down to consistency, and my inability to provide it. this is my great big achilles heel.
i'm far too temperamental a photographer... in the sense that if not everything is entirely 100% to my liking, under my control, you, the client, will not get anywhere near my best.
my best is very dependent on how inspired i am by the subject, our chemistry, overall vibe of the session.
and that's horrible.
i should be able to deliver to the very highest of my abilities each and every time. especially the paid shoots. they deserve my very best- they're paying for it, after all.
looking at all the shoots where i wasn't inspired, you'd swear they were from a different photographer altogether- a novice; amateur; not someone with countless global publications under his belt.
i think it's a semi-regular thing photographers deal with. our websites, portfolios, are carefully curated selections of our very best work, while we don't showcase everything else.
but the fact that outside of the modelling agencies i've never had a return paid client really is telling and validating of my own aforementioned discovery; that i don't deliver to the highest level all the time.
the irony is, it's always the paid shoots... the shoots that don't put bread on my table... that get the very best of me... while the paid ones, again, may well've been shot by a highschooler on their first day of photography class- the disparity in quality of my work really is that wide.
so i'm wondering if the real pros here... which is a tricky title to navigate, partly because it's somewhat subjective, but partly because of the anonymous nature of this forum... anyways, i'm wondering if you real pros could share with me any tips on how you get the very best out of yourself every time, without fail, especially when it counts (on paid shoots).
it's something i've struggled with since pretty much when i began. i'd greatly appreciate any advice!

This is a project to record the daily reading of the Revised Common Lectionary. I hope to have many people reading so that we hear different voices from all over the map!
​
Please consider reading for a day or many days! Check out this Google sheet to figure out how! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ive9gdvd0lJ_-8VAD6r1QoIiSxfO_f-DvJ5hChue6IU/edit#gid=1869507444

Once again no matter how many games I play my battle pass tokens aren’t registering, I’ve tried multiple game mode across Hardcore and Normal Multiplayer, and the old fix of logging back out and logging in again does nothing?! Also out of the blue my weapons will reset back to no attachments for absolutely no reason! Has anyone had any joy fixing the battle pass issue? I’ve even tried turning the whole PlayStation off and back on again?!

So, I was searching for some topics on this subreddit and I found people talking about the TDEE calculator to see how many calories you need to eat or stay under. I went to the site, add my info [Male, 28, 150kgs, 190 cm] and the result said that my maintenance Calories are almost 4k with moderate exercise [3-5 times a week] I don't even reach that amount of calories, maybe 3k and even that I doubt. I'm on the process of weight loss and I feel that's way too much cal, am I wrong? Does this makes sense?

I rented a 2021 Triumph Tiger 900 GT Pro and loved it. One nice feature was setting the cruise control at 25mph to idle through the two mile journey from our neighborhood entrance to our house without unintentionally speeding.
Then I purchased a 2023 Triumph Tiger 1200 Rally Explorer and have discovered that 29mph is the lowest speed engagement for the cruise control. Nooooooooo!
Looking for someone who knows how to update the (ECM?) to tweak this setting. Or, for any ideas of how to hack it to work.

Finally got a ps3 to play mgs4. I’ve beat literally all of them including po and po+ except for acid and acid 2. 1. How to sneak up people easier? I notice you push joystick slightly to walk slowly but that is completely unreasonable. Like I could potentially get used to it but it’s just difficult to press is slightly? I have big hands or something. So is there like a “walk slow” button? 2. So many groups of people on the map are overwhelming. Is there an easy way to tell which ones want to kill you? It seems like the dark outfits are bad guys and the others are neutral.

I missed out on it last season and it doesn't tell you it's even a thing in game

Abt to Ord in less than 60 days time and like to maximise my 11b benefits. Thus, can I check how many days mc will be provided for ingrown toenail surgery and what’s the process and best hospital to go to. Thank!