Cognitive remediation therapy for anorexia nervosa |

I know that this sounds insane. But I will do what I can to make this as understandable as possible: I’m 15, intersex male and am 5’9 tall. I’ve been very effeminate all my life and I have a overtly feminine style and demeanour. My height has made me extremely insecure for a while now, as being small, petite and short is a main feminine beauty standard. Over years the insecurity has worsened and I would consider it the main cause for the development of my severe anorexia nervosa and BDD, along with multiple suicide attempts and countless loops of self-harm. I have tried everything to stop the pain but nothing works, I’ve been on antidepressants, talked to every psychiatrist and therapist, rationalized in every way, and it just doesn’t work. It’s too much for me to handle. Osteoporosis is a bone disease caused by very low bone density that can cause spinal fractures and compression that lead to up to 2.5-3.5 inches of height loss. That height loss would keep me from killing myself! And for some back pain I really don’t see what the downside here is. Ive been depriving myself of calcium and vitamin D, keeping my BMI under 18.5, keeping terrible posture, and lied to a bunch of medical professionals to get access to puberty blockers in order to lower my bone density. I know it sounds crazy but it’s really this or death to me. Can anyone relate?

I have severe arachnophobia. I've had it since I was young, and even though I don't have any trauma concerning spiders, it has gotten progressively worse over the years. When I see one (it doesn't matter how small), I'm paralyzed with fear. I can't even look at illustrations of them without shuddering. The phobia has gotten so bad that it now affects me daily. It's affected my ability to sleep and drive. It's taking a real toll on my mental health at this point. That said, summer is a nightmare for me.
I'm looking for referrals to treatment (any type) in Portland (ideally N/NW, but I'll graciously accept all suggestions) besides cognitive behavioral therapy. Exposure therapy is also a no-go.
I'm trying to steer clear of pseudoscientific interventions but understand that my options for evidence-based scientific methods may be limited. (I've had a couple of consultations with hypnotherapists, one of which was surprisingly transparent with me and indicated it would likely only "alleviate the fear by 10%.")
Any advice is also much appreciated!

I was put on two meds for my bipolar disorder that made me gain 90 pounds in two months. My stretch marks were so bad my skin ripped.
Now I'm off the meds and losing the weight. I've lost 30 pounds and have 60 left to go.
Ideally, I'd like to get the sagging skin that will be left over removed. I have a history of body dysmorphia and anorexia nervosa, and I feel like it would wreck me to see myself every day.
However, the surgeries are so expensive. I can't help but think that the money would be put to better use it put toward my boyfriend's retirement account, more of my ketamine infusions, or toward end of life giving to charity. On the other hand, I don't want to be distressed every day and feel like I have to hide my body.
I signed up for an eating disorder support group and am in therapy, but other emotional interventions haven't really done anything. I've felt confident when I've been fit and so ashamed when I haven't that there have been times I've cried every night.
I want to know, in simple terms, if you think it would be immoral to remove my loose skin after the weight loss. Thank you.

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of various forms of abuse including SA, mention of suicide in some detail, mention of death
PREFACE
I understand this is the internet and I cannot expect people to have grace or mercy on me for any of this. All I can do is ask that if you’re going to give me your input, that you try and be as kind as possible. My heart is hurting and I really don’t feel I am in a place to hear that I need to entirely -drop- this therapist right now. My background of abuse and trauma will hopefully explain why that is, but I am not ready to let go. I am mostly posting this to vent, but also hoping that if anyone does have any advice that could help me even just in the short term with coping, that it will be gently shared.
BACKGROUND
I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible but there’s a whole lot of history here. I am 27F, and I grew up in an unimaginably abusive home. Sex trafficking, severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from my father and my older brother (very patriarchal family), and a slew of very complicated and scary health issues including a liver disease and cancer. My family set me up to never be able to move out or live independently because they genuinely have viewed me to be their property. The severity of this can hopefully be summed up in just a few example:
Was never allowed to even get myself a glass of water in the kitchen or learn to cook Was not potty trained and had to rely on my mom to go to the bathroom into my teenage years Drinking only from sippy cups until teenage years Location monitored on my phone Every credit card transaction / finance watched closely Could not move away from college
My brother was allowed and able to do all these things, but I was not. My entire life, teachers and “adults” that were supposed to catch these things did not even bat an eye. They instead placed me in remedial classes and ESL assuming that I just had a learning disability or a language barrier (which I do not). When I told teachers in the past about my abuse, it was handled extremely poorly and no authorities ever got involved. My life felt worthless; meaningless. Like I could scream from the rooftops of my school that I was being abused and no one cared.
This past January, I did the unthinkable. I left my family and got my own apartment. Friends, therapists, coworkers, everyone who remotely knew me has been pushing me to do this for years and I genuinely thought I would die in my situation. I developed severe Stockholm syndrome so a huge part of my lack of leaving was due to my own internal thought patterns. I did it through the help of my current therapist, which is my… fourth? therapist that’s attempted to help. The last ones took advantage of how naive I was and hurt me (one of them has been arrested). This therapist, however, invested everything to get me out. He really wanted to see me free. And I am forever grateful for him.
MY CURRENT THERAPIST & BACKSTORY
I started seeing this therapist early in 2022 when I was still living with my family. I became severely bedridden and could not even go to the bathroom without my mom or dad escorting me. My anxiety and panic were at an all time high. I was on a leave of absence from work, and this therapist was the only reason I had for HAVING to get out of bed and forcing myself to drive, and most days I couldn’t even do that. He was patient, compassionate, and was willing to go to great lengths to help. Though mostly irrelevant, he’s 45M. He got into school for counseling later in life so when I started seeing him, he was just an intern under the director of the practice. At the time, the director of the practice was seeing an old time friend of mine (who happened to recently become my coworker). My friend had gotten concerned about why I wasn’t showing up to work and why I was struggling so much. I didn’t want to open up to her about it because I couldn’t open up to anyone at the time. However, my friend asked the director of the place if she knew anything about me. The director broke into my therapist’s file under the guise of “he is my intern, I can look at his stuff” and then relayed all of that information to my friend. It became an entire case against the state board and I fought tooth and nail to get that director in trouble. In the end, nothing was done and in retaliation, the director fired my therapist and I had to wait until my therapist found a new job in order to see him (he was pre-graduation by just a few weeks so he couldn’t ethically talk to me until he had another practice). During the worst moments of my life, I was without my therapist (no fault of his, and he checked on me frequently), but it was really only for a few weeks. To me that was a lot since I had been going 2-3 times a week, sometimes 4 because of my situation.
THE CRYSTAL AND THE SAGE
My therapist had gone out of town briefly and came back with a crystal he got. He told me when he purchased it he knew he wanted to give it to someone. And he said that it made him think of me and he wants me to have it. He said he wants it to be a reminder that he cares and others care and that it represents my truth to hold close. Months later, he went on another trip and said he got sage that someone gave him that was super special and he wanted me to have it. He was very invested in making sure I felt like he cares and has my back. I was never into spirituality in the same way as him so I respectfully accepted his kindness but kind of scoffed at him. It became more of a joke.
HOW MY BROTHER AND MY THERAPIST STARTED TEXTING
The director of the previous practice had tried to harass me with a fake number, as well as to my therapist. She wanted to try and get us to drop the case, I guess? When I continued to get texts from fake numbers, my therapist asked me to give him the number that was blowing up my phone. It turns out, timing was absolutely terrible. My brother (who moved out of state) was the one who started harassing me. My parents/brother allowed me to go to therapy to “work on my panic attacks” but they began hating the fact that my therapist was helping me become independent. My brother was outraged and texted me anonymously to kill myself. Because I still thought at the time that it was the director of the place, I went ahead and shared the number with my therapist. And that’s how it all began.
THE VIDEO THREATS FROM MY THERAPIST
Things got out of hand over the months. My therapist felt extremely protective of me and a “savior complex” kicked in. The reasoning for this is worth noting / important. My therapist lost his sister to suicide when they were young, and he also lost his father shortly after. His sister apparently had also been assaulted and my therapist had mentioned to me before how he views me as a friend, someone to protect, like a sister. He admitted his struggle with transference and said his main and only concern was to get me to move out of my family’s house. To take a leap of faith. He was desperate to do that. He offered to help me get an apartment near him so he could help me out, he offered to babysit my dog for me (my golden retriever is my emotional support animal that my parents have used as a bargaining chip), he offered to see me in therapy 5 times a week if I just moved. I just wasn’t ready. But my brother would not relent.
My therapist still does not know that I know this, but my brother showed me some of the videos my therapist sent him. Three separate threatening videos. In them, my therapist was shirtless with a ski mask on saying he was part of the FBI and that if my brother didn’t behave himself, that he would have his people come after him. My brother said that I was threatening him and that if I didn’t get this man to stop, it would be trouble. My therapist got extremely activated and decided to take it as a challenge.
My therapist also at some points asked my brother “how to assault me” because he wanted to know what my brother did/wanted him to admit it. But if an outsider saw the texts, it would seem like my therapist was asking to participate in assaulting me. It looked HORRIBLY incriminating.
THE MOVE OUT
I got the courage one night. Drove my dog over to my therapist’s house and moved in with a friend while I apartment hunted. My therapist was incredibly proud of me and poured so much love and care into my dog. I truly felt hopeful and optimistic and I eventually applied for my own apartment and got approved. Because of severe Stockholm syndrome and lack of knowing how to do ANYTHING, I would end up visiting home (somehow, they allowed that and I did not die!)
THE ASSAULT
Long story short (I am not super comfortable going into this part), people from the temple I was sex trafficked in (linked with my family), showed up and assaulted me at gun point in a van. I told my therapist. He was extremely upset on my behalf and called the police. He told me it was essential that I get restraining orders and that I stop going over to my parents house even if I have Stockholm syndrome. He said he could no longer be patient on that because I was actively being attacked. I told him I was still too nervous to go no contact and I could tell he was frustrated with me.
WHEN MY THERAPIST SECRETLY SAT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT
My brother / someone from the temple decided to start things up once he figured out the person he was texting earlier was in fact my therapist. He threatened my therapist and challenged him to meet up. My brother was bluffing but my therapist took it seriously. My therapist arranged to meet him outside my apartment at 9pm that night. I had a weird gut feeling so I texted my therapist that night and asked him not to do anything stupid, but I had no idea what he had up his sleeve. Without telling me, my therapist sat outside my apartment waiting for my brother (who never showed) to meet him. Why my therapist chose to meet him RIGHT OUTSIDE my new residence was extremely irresponsible.
I went to take my dog out to the bathroom that night and my friend and I were hanging out. She noticed a dark car with someone sitting and staring with a mask on. We walked closer and it was my therapist. I yelled at him because I was so worried he would’ve gotten shot or attacked and that he would get hurt as a result of trying to fight. My therapist apologized and was so embarrassed. He awkwardly said “you weren’t supposed to know about this…” and drove off full force. We hopped in my friends car and followed him to wherever he tried to run off to. He then promised me he would leave. About 20 mins later, my friend and I decide to go out to get food and we see him sitting in another part of my apartment complex still ready to fight. I was so upset that he lied to me multiple times and that he was risking his life. What would’ve happened if he got attacked? But my therapist apologized again and said “I just need to look him in the eye” implying he was ready to kill.
THE DREAMS ABOUT MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER
As my therapist had told me, his sister had passed away from suicide when they were young. He admitted to have transference in a way where he viewed me in a sisterly way. For a while, I continually had dreams about his sister and it was very weird. I told him I don’t believe in a lot of things like crystals or burning sage but that these dreams felt incredibly vivid. In the dreams, her sister was assuring me that my therapist was sent in my life to be the brother I couldn’t have. That he was sent to me as a brother, and I to him as a sister.
THE HOSPITAL
Just within the span of days after he showed up to my apartment, I was hospitalized due to complications with my liver, and I reached out to my family for help. My therapist was upset with me for interacting with my family at all. My therapist even visited me in the hospital and said that I don’t need to call my family for help and that I have him and my other friends who will have my back. After I was discharged from the hospital, I asked my therapist if I could take my dog back for at least a weekend (he took my dog in while I went to the hospital in order to help me. He said he would hang onto him while I recovered and caught up on rest). So when he gave me my dog for the weekend, out of guilt, I took my dog with me to visit my family. I just felt the need to run back. My dad manipulated me a lot about missing my dog so I felt obligated.
MY THERAPIST’S FRUSTRATION
I admitted to my therapist that I had taken my dog to my parents for the weekend (after I already gave him my dog back). My therapist was so upset about it. He had put so much love and time into my dog and helping me, and then I took him back to the hands of my abusers. This is when him pulling back began. He felt like he was doing all of this extraneous stuff for me and I was just taking steps back.
THE SUICIDE METHOD
As he got over his frustration a little bit, I became very suicidal to the point where I purchased a rope and planned it out. I made him the beneficiary of my bank accounts as a thank you to him for everything. He told me he would do what he could to help me. He said I could bring my dog back to him if I just need a life break. He didn’t know I had the rope but he knew I was thinking suicide. When I went back to drop my dog off, I admitted I had a rope. I gave it to him. He realized I was genuinely going to kill myself and was so grateful I told him the truth. He told me he would be there for me to help me through it. Showed me grace and compassion and everything.
THE MAJOR PULLBACK
No warning. No indication. My therapist immediately pulled back. Hard. He told me to call him later that week (I usually have therapy 3x a week but he was out of town), and so I did as he said and called him to update him. He immediately flipped out. “Ugh, I cannot be in anything extra to your therapy space. I am going through things on my own and I need to pull back. I can’t take calls any hour of the day anymore. I can’t take your dog. You don’t even listen to me anyway. You do what you want and go to your parents. So, I don’t know what to say. I am committed to you as your therapist but that’s it. If you feel suicidal outside of that, go to a hospital and get sedated.” I was absolutely crushed and felt so awful and guilty like I did something wrong. I didn’t want to bother him. I didn’t want to lose him. He made me feel loved and cared for (platonically, as a brother) and I felt so safe with him. Until this moment. He was very hung up on the fact that I kept going home to my family despite his efforts.
After calming down he explained how he feels like he needs to step back because his emotions shouldn’t affect my therapy and that he’s doing it to help me. But it felt very selfish. He over exerted himself by showing up to my apartment and sending threatening videos when I never asked for it, all because HE wanted to. And now he pulls back because HE wants to. None of his decisions were based on what I would feel, but what would best serve him.
THE RELAPSE AND THE DREAMS
Because my therapist stepped back so hard, I relapsed and said “screw it” / went back to my parents. I still had my apartment but I backslid majorly.
During this time I was so distraught. This therapist made me feel supported. And no, I didn’t attach onto him in an unhealthy way where he became my only hope. But he did feel like the brother I wished I had, and he felt like such a deep and important part of my life and I was devastated.
I started having dreams again about his sister and I cried. I felt like I was given this gift and then it was taken away.
THE BACK AND FORTH
My therapist began telling me that he thinks I should have additional support in this season especially while he “takes a break from extraneous stuff” with me. He said when he was younger and going through things, he had two therapists.
A week later I told him I found a second therapist and he said: “ummm I don’t know. I feel protective over that. Maybe don’t get a second one. Find a support group but I don’t want you seeing another one.”
I stood my ground and said I might still find one and he said “well then make sure the other one is a woman and is closely in touch with me.”
It felt very wishy washy and he did a lot of similar things like this for a while.
But when I listened to him and decided against a second therapist, he pulled back again. He said he wouldn’t take any more texts or calls outside of session once again and made me feel like an obsessed freak when I wasn’t even really doing much at all. Or asking for anything.
VISITING MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER’S GRAVE
My therapist is a famous author and singesong writer. Online, it’s very easy to find his sister’s name and I did some digging and found out where her grave is located. I was feeling really awful, like I was grieving the loss myself which is so incredibly psychotic. I know. But it more so felt like I was grieving the loss of this brotherly love I once felt from my therapist. But it’s been a couple months at this point and he still refuses to take texts or calls, and is very argumentative and angry in sessions. And I just wanted to take some flowers to the grave in private, not tell him, and just accept that he can’t be what I needed him to be for me.
MY FAMILY FINDS OUT
When I went to the cemetery, the place was huge. So I had to go into the office and ask for the location of his sister’s grave. They gave me a piece of paper with her name and grave location on it and I eventually just threw it in my wallet. My dad stumbled upon my wallet while I was at home one of the days and noticed the last name and asked me if I was still seeing my therapist. They don’t like him for obvious reasons. But I admitted to my parents that I do still see my therapist and that he’s more like family than they’d ever be. They abused me. But I stood in my truth. At the end of the day I will not deny that my therapist DID help me immensely and if that means I have to be abused for the truth, I’ll do it.
MY THERAPIST INSISTS ON INFORMATION
He knew that I was hiding something. I told him my family was abusive again but I didn’t say why. He spent an entire session saying he needs to know what happened. I said no multiple times and that I didn’t want to talk about it. He used language like “you have to tell me before you leave my office” and “if you care so much about me you’ll tell me.” He even told me he was going to take my hand and promise me that he won’t react. He held it and looked me in the eye and promised he’d meet me with compassion. I refused. He then asked me if I’ve been lying to him. Deceptive. It broke me and I felt like it was just such an insult. But I stayed strong and he apologized for bothering me about it.
Last week comes around and it feels like such a hindrance. He’s continuing to be short with me and not answer my texts, not taking emergency calls, and just… is continuing to be cold. I even texted him that I was genuinely feeling suicidal and he told me he can’t help me outside of session. Period.
So then after my latest session, I told him I’d text him what happened because I was too uncomfortable to say it. I told him I visited his sister’s grave, about the dreams, everything. I said I felt really hurt at his pullback and how it felt selfish.
He responded by gaslighting me endlessly and it absolutely crushed me furthermore. He responded as follows:
“Ok crystals and dreams? I don’t believe in them. I don’t believe that was my sister. I don’t know how I feel about you visiting her grave. I am not your brother and I can’t be your brother. And yes it was a nice gesture I guess but clearly you are focusing on the wrong thing. Let’s not talk about the weeds and the details. Let’s focus on you.” And completely shut down any further conversation about it.
In the past I have insisted and begged him to process him showing up at my apartment with me because I am still shaken up. He just always says “I never should’ve gotten involved like that but we are NOT going to talk about this ever again” and has always refused to hear how I felt about it.
He went back on vacation this past weekend and refused to take my call when I needed help, refused to text me, or anything. I called off work two days in a row because I was so devastated at his anger toward me and the gaslighting. It felt so unfair. I wanted to talk to him over the weekend because I was genuinely so hurt and felt like I truly lost him. He didn’t care.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
I had an appointment in person tonight. First in person one since I told him about everything. I am embarrassed and feel so guilty that I visited his sister’s grave behind his back. It makes me feel psychotic. But at least I was honest and didn’t wait until I got caught / did not gaslight him.
I have a major surgery tomorrow and he won’t help me with my dog. I’ve gone back to my parents for now until I am recovered.
I want to tell him how hurt I am but I have tried that. He never understands. I miss him. As a brother.
I ended up going to session and he asked me why I feel off in therapy. He literally said “other than me slightly having to pull back right now what have I really done?”
I don’t know if I ever can get him to see my side or my pain in this.
FINAL THOUGHTS / MISC
I was seeing him three times a week and one day he randomly cancelled my third session, and every week after “something came up” that day and he just kept canceling. Eventually he just exploded and said “I DO NOT work that third day anymore.” Without giving me any explanation or time to adjust or heads up. Like he clearly needed a break.
I was in the hospital just now for my surgery and I wanted so badly to reach out to him for support. I couldn’t. My heart hurts knowing that I once had this brotherly love in my life that I had lost.
Even now in session he uses the analogy of “if you were my sister” or “if you were my wife” after knowing I am clearly struggling with accepting he has pulled back. He used to say I am his friend over and over and now he just acts so cold. I know he’s trying to maintain boundaries. I know. But too late. He screwed with my emotions SO much.
I have horrible, horrible OCD and my brain keeps trying to do stupid things to fix this. I also keep asking myself over and over:
1. Will he ever take my dog back if I really needed him to? (obviously I can find other pet sitters but my brain is so hung up on —— if I asked him in an emergency situation, would he refuse?)
2. Will he ever stop ignoring my texts? I’ve reached out to him about being suicidal. About being in a state of panic. Previously, he would call me and stay on the phone with me while I got through an attack. I AM NOT EXPECTING THIS. I do not expect him to be available on demand. But his SUDDEN extreme pull back makes me think that I was the one that did something wrong.
3.Does this mean he emotionally does not care about me and my situation anymore? Did he just turn his emotions off? Did he ever even care? He would make me send him a text every day listing three things I am grateful for as a means to check in. He would also randomly send me quotes from books he was reading that he thought I could relate to. All facilitated by him. All of this has randomly stopped and it makes me feel like he hates me. Is it at all possible that this is a reflection of him not caring?
4.Is his pullback a temporary extreme and will he readjust and go back to being there for me? Or is this a permanent shift, likely? Can I expect things to even out or go back to him investing care and time? Again I KNOW the focus is on me having to do that for myself. I know I CAN move on from this if needed but I really, really began to love him (PLATONICALLY like family) and having him around. It breaks me so much. It was so important to me to have him.
I have been taking major time off of work and from seeing friend or leaving my house. I have completely self isolated. Refused medical treatment against doctor’s advice. Risked my job by calling off so much. Taking a leave of absence. Become bedridden. I know it sounds like I’ve become obsessed with fixing this situation and that seems psychotic and sad. But given my history with everything I have been through, this therapist had given me hope to feel like someone had my back. Losing him feels like a major major loss that’s soul crushing. Yes I have other people and no he cannot be my focus. But this is how I feel and I cannot help it. I do not want to be shamed for it. It just freaking hurts.
Again I know the majority of people will want to come at my therapist or me for doing wrong things. I know it doesn’t seem like this, but he really isn’t intentionally manipulative or gaslight-y, he’s just trying to regulate himself.
I have grace for him. And for myself. So please, please try and respond with compassion. I don’t want to lose him. But I feel like I kind of am.
What are your overall thoughts, in the most gentle way possible? Was I wrong for telling him the truth about the grave?

I grew up in a chaotic environment and am now hypersensitive to everyone's emotions. My partner had a bad day at work and is upset, but I cannot help him because I feel unsafe; my brain strongly believes he is upset at me or that conflict will begin (purely because when my parents were upset, they took it out on me.)
I have autism and feel emotions incredibly strongly, meaning cognitive behavioral therapy doesn’t work for me; no matter how hard I work to reword negative thoughts into positive, I just cannot escape the fear. How do I soothe my nervous system and fight-or-fight response when I sense other people have negative emotions?

Hiiii I was recently diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and was just very confused tbh. I went to treatment for ARFID and received that diagnosis but also received an anorexia diagnosis. Sure I definitely can admit I have disordered eating issues beyond ARFID alone but I'm overweight.
My treatment team's reasoning is that my behaviors coupled with the significant weight-loss landed me a diagnosis of anorexia. What holds me back is I don't believe my behaviors are anorexia and also I am overweight. Still technically obs, too. So how can I be diagnosed with anorexia?
I've asked my therapist and all that but she explained what I said above but my brain won't accept just that. Like it refuses to believe I have anorexia. It actually wants to laugh at that, but I'm sure that's toxic lolol.
Anyway yeah. Is this a real thing or not? Can you be diagnosed with anorexia and not be underweight?
Sorry if this question isn't allowed. Im genuinely feeling lost in treatment rn.

Hi, all.
It's been a pretty turbulent time over here. I was a nearly daily user of marijuana for about three years (mostly edibles, mostly around 10mg per day). I would partake in the evenings and weekends. I started doing it just for fun but slipped into daily use at some point during the pandemic for relief.
Well, recently, the weed became a SOURCE of anxiety for me -- I had a few panic attacks while under the influence. The first one happened when I was being intimate with my husband and I had issues with arousal. It's something that has never happened before in our 8 years together (almost 1 year married). It really shook me
Then, about a month later, again while under the influence, I had an unwanted/intrusive thought 'this happened because you are now unattracted to your husband'.
For some reason, I was unable to be rational about this (for example, recognizing that attraction isn't black/white, peaks and valleys during a relationship, and can be worked on).
The day after that thought I decided to quit weed cold turkey. That was exactly two months ago. And it's been SUCH a hard time. I also got COVID during that time and spent a lot of time ruminating. Unfortunately, I spiraled to thoughts like 'this is absolutely going to ruin my marriage', 'i'll never be able to be intimate with my husband', and similar thoughts. I have felt so incredibly depressed trying to get to the 'root' of the thought and making sense of it. I've totally obsessed over this issue instead of being able to let it go. Obviously, this hasn't helped. I'm sad all the time, and (I think, unfairly and irrationally) connecting my anxiety and depression to my husband. I even thought about leaving my husband, but I couldn't even articulate why I would want to do that. That thought also makes me sad!
I have started therapy, and I am also on week 4 of taking Zoloft. I have some benzos when things get bad. At the moment, my anxiety is really bad in the morning. Even if I am not actively thinking about the thoughts I've had, I'm anxious about how I'll be able to make it through the day. I sense a tiny bit of improvement, because there were days a few weeks ago where I was having light suicidal thoughts and was in bed literally all day. Now, things are definitely on my mind still. My psych believes that at some point during my three years of weed usage that I developed an anxiety disorder. Now, I'm really struggling without my sole source of relief.
I have done a lot of cognitive work -- reminding me that these thoughts aren't my own. That my husband is not the 'root' of these thoughts and that the thoughts are a symptom of my anxiety and depression. It helps a little bit but I am still so very sad.
As I sit here, I am on a bench watching the world go by. I'm trying to remain so hopeful that I can feel joy and relief again -- joy around by myself and around my husband. I want it so, so badly.
My question: is any of this normal? Does it make sense that you can feel detached from a partner when you are extremely depressed and anxious? I have noticed a little improvement, but can this get better? I'm so tired.
Happy to answer any followup questions. Hope this makes sense. Thanks in advance.

I want to start this off by saying I don’t have it, my friends is concerned that she has it. I’m not gonna give too much detail into this btw
I haven’t known this girl for long but basically she started talking about how she forces herself to vomit and because of her autism the feeling of food coming into her makes it harder to not do. She told me that it started at least 1 month ago where she would purge to just skip school but then she realized she could do it everytime she eats. Now, I have schizophrenia but I use to have an purging addiction (not anymore) and currently am suffering with anorexia nervosa so I tried my best to put myself in her shoes and give her a response. I haven’t slept in days so I don’t think I gave good advice but she said “that this was the second time she ever talked about it and appreciates the way I explained deeply”.
Although she said that she appreciated what I said I feel like if we ever have this talk again I should know what to say. How can I comfort her? How do I give advice?
Also, the way I stopped my purging addiction was by “waiting it out”. I made this friend that talked to me everyday no joke they would text and ft every second of the day, so that helped keep it off my mind. I feel as if giving that as her answer wouldn’t be good tho so idk what to do. I hope this isn’t dumb I just really want to help her out she’s a good person.

Hello everyone!
I’m (25f) at a breaking point with my OCD. I’m based in London. I am unable to leave the house and haven’t been able to for about three years. I am convinced everyone wants to harm me. I am up and down all night checking the doors and windows, crying at every sound, turning the lights on etc. My husband is touring the world as a singer and I am alone all the time. I have a very complicated relationship with my family so they are not around.
He was home last night and is obviously very scared for me. I was crying and sobbing because I thought someone was downstairs and he wouldn’t let me check and I screamed I was trying to save us all. Every morning I congratulate myself on living through the night and no one getting in to harm me. Rationally, I understand it’s not real but in the moment I can not rationalise.
I really need therapy. The issue is I looked at what sort I needed and a lot of online suggestions are inpatient. But I have a physical disability which has led to a frozen bowel and I’m unsure how well a facility would handle this. I also have anorexia. And I wouldn’t have anyone to look after my cat.
I was just wondering what sort of therapy people have tried and how well it has worked? I’ve also seen you can pay to have people come to your house every day and wondered if anyone Uk/London based has tried this? Very open to suggestions because I just want to get better.
Thank you!

Hi, I’m Jamie. Lovely to meet you! I'm about 6'1, blonde, Welsh, currently living in London and looking for someone to message and hang out with (virtually or irl ). Some quick things about me:

I love video games but have not been playing as many as I’d like to these days. To remedy this, I’ve recently bought a Steam Deck. I’m traditionally more of an RPG/FPS person but would also like to branch out a bit.
I’m working hard to try and get the next career goal, which is being able to work from anywhere I want. I already mostly work from home, but for a few reasons my job requires me to be in the UK. I want to be untethered though, so my next career move will focus on that 😎
Synthwave and cyber punk aesthetics to me are 🤤
I’m making a big push to improve my health and have been exercising consistently for around a year and a half now (swimming, running etc). For the last 6 months I’ve also been doing weights with a PT. Next up is starting on some flexibility doing yoga and/or pilates.
I love talking about history and politics. My ideological position is complicated to explain but probably best summarised as left of centre.
Currently getting into sword fighting. Partly because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Partly in case the apocalypse comes – think it’d be a useful skill to have (especially as we don’t really do guns in the UK...)
I’m moving in with my Mum over summer to give her some help. She’s recently inherited a large and somewhat shabby house in the countryside so I’m going to help redecorate and make it a nice place to live.
I don’t drink but do 420 (probs a little more than I should – but fixing that is lower on my to do list than other health things haha).
I'm very interested in Welsh language and history.
My number one form of therapy is long walks outside in nature. There is nothing more peaceful and restorative when it’s just you, nature and a path to follow :)

What am I looking for? Good question!

I’d like to make a new friend or two to chat with. I miss messaging back and forth with someone. It’d primarily though text but also like to hand out on audio and/or video occasionally.
I'd like to talk to people who share some of my interests. It'd be especially cool to find people who want to play some video games together, keeping each other motivated fitness wise!
Location isn't a big concern, but I’m primarily looking for people in the UK, Europe, Canada or the US. This is mostly due to cultural and time zone compatibility reasons so no requirement to be in/from those regions, so would be a plus I guess – but not essential

Hi, I’m Jamie. Lovely to meet you! I'm about 6'1, blonde, Welsh, currently living in London and looking for someone to message and hang out with (virtually or irl ). Some quick things about me:

I love video games but have not been playing as many as I’d like to these days. To remedy this, I’ve recently bought a Steam Deck. I’m traditionally more of an RPG/FPS person but would also like to branch out a bit.
I’m working hard to try and get the next career goal, which is being able to work from anywhere I want. I already mostly work from home, but for a few reasons my job requires me to be in the UK. I want to be untethered though, so my next career move will focus on that 😎
Synthwave and cyber punk aesthetics to me are 🤤
I’m making a big push to improve my health and have been exercising consistently for around a year and a half now (swimming, running etc). For the last 6 months I’ve also been doing weights with a PT. Next up is starting on some flexibility doing yoga and/or pilates.
I love talking about history and politics. My ideological position is complicated to explain but probably best summarised as left of centre.
Currently getting into sword fighting. Partly because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Partly in case the apocalypse comes – think it’d be a useful skill to have (especially as we don’t really do guns in the UK...)
I’m moving in with my Mum over summer to give her some help. She’s recently inherited a large and somewhat shabby house in the countryside so I’m going to help redecorate and make it a nice place to live.
I don’t drink but do 420 (probs a little more than I should – but fixing that is lower on my to do list than other health things haha).
I'm very interested in Welsh language and history.
My number one form of therapy is long walks outside in nature. There is nothing more peaceful and restorative when it’s just you, nature and a path to follow :)

What am I looking for? Good question!

I’d like to make a new friend or two to chat with. I miss messaging back and forth with someone. It’d primarily though text but also like to hand out on audio and/or video occasionally.
I'd like to talk to people who share some of my interests. It'd be especially cool to find people who want to play some video games together, keeping each other motivated fitness wise!
Location isn't a big concern, but I’m primarily looking for people in the UK, Europe, Canada or the US. This is mostly due to cultural and time zone compatibility reasons so no requirement to be in/from those regions, so would be a plus I guess – but not essential

I'm just soooo frustrated. I attended a primary care appointment this morning with a PCP I had never met. My regular PCP (whom I adore) is on an extended medical leave, but still available for occasional tele-health appointments. After significant weight loss in the last few months, my RD, therapist, and psychiatrist strongly recommended I contact my usual PCP, which I (reluctantly) did - she agreed that I needed bloodwork and, ideally, an in-person once over. I begged her to just order the bloodwork and not make me see someone else. She told me it had to be in person, and suggested one of her colleagues. The appointment was this morning and the new provider totally didn't get it - she congratulated me on the significant weight loss and suggested I lose MORE ("you're still overweight"). I explained in every way I can think of that the weight was lost quickly and through severe restriction and that my usual PCP, RD, therapist, and psychiatrist are all concerned about physical effects. New doc spent a long time trying to confirm that the psychological side of this is being appropriately managed and zero time exploring any potential physical effects. She said that as long as I'm working with an RD, there isn't any concern for vitamin deficiencies or the like and she didn't get it when I pointed out that working with an RD does not mean that I'm doing what she says. New doc ordered minimal bloodwork (CBC, CMP, Hepatic function, Iron - I recently had HgA1C, vitamins D&B12 w/ another doc, so she didn't repeat), told me the results and her notes would be posted in the patient portal, and dismissed me; she clearly expects nothing out of the usual and has no intention of follow-up. It's hard enough to work with a doc that you know, but to walk in to an appointment with someone I had never met and be completely dismissed, in fact encouraged to continue with extreme weight loss (she called it "extreme dieting") is maddening - why bother seeking help if this is how I get treated? I have a long history of ED behaviors, at times being dangerously underweight, but I also know it's very dangerous to lose weight rapidly, whatever weight you start at. New doc also used "Anorexia Nervosa, in remission" as one of her diagnostic codes for the visit - since I'm currently rapidly losing weight and not doing what my RD says, how is that "in remission?" Overall, just a really hard and frustrating morning...

Substantive Pathology:
The contemporary problems of psychological pathology are rendered out of the precocious hubris of early social pattern, taken out of the early values. A person of the deciding where forking out of his reserves of values, as a personal preface to his own in that his valid values are, brings his esteem of the position himself in, the sui generis to his thought. It is an unconscious process that stake from which his posture relays adventure that of his objective, it has become a goal. The virtual problem and the binary effulgence of his decision in decision qualified validly has none to impart but the dividend its value may meet, but the answer of course has personalboundary and alterity for its claim, that effect ramified from, valued to the procedural error toleave valid. This gross domestic product freely uses the demure goal tenets of envy in object.
Comparatively objective virtue vies with goals in the procedural advance that it is a small adventure, mostly a comparison in objective qualification of a priori empirical domain going through a constant scale that can be considered faithful to a problem answer soluble of virtu of the concept of the relationship, the quality of the content that can faithfully derive at theprecocity of profference. It is useful to imagine though the cognitive path as a fragmentary,comparative reality of the nuance of comparison in change of decameral gross domesticproduct and to consider the trial and error of society for the most part relegated to a problem category of conscious pluralism: the base substance of the personal a priori apprehension that a systemic answer processes indicate, inferences the survival of product to itself. Vicariouslearning is an imprecative visibile sign of the envy of the absolute in itself that apprehension vies with, in its negative substance, in its solution of surety to the abrogation whereof abject.
Abject given absolutes attract the etiological path qua unconscious path in Jungian drive and Durkheim himself would be useful here, elementary religious beliefs are geophysical arena inletrist ratio to the population of voices in distinct drives, and their gross domestic inflation. A suicidalite spectrum has an automatic religious perspectival goal of the answer, liken to vitiationfrom a materialism of the undercurrent of dialectic behavior therapy when adverted to the boundary of material substance: Durkheim’s elementariness. “They are short lived, they reach their climaxes speedily”-Marx, The Eighteenth Brumaire. Rather, short lived are the meanings and identifiers, in a fledged out familial piety reversal: apodeictic certainty on familiar business of the defining of the family. The unction of the avuncular cultural leader has its formidible caste in the espousal of the right at which age uses the apodeictic pastiche that has a serendipitous aegis, what we call the suicidality has its beginning in the capacity to render pain, that but the uncertainty is of a flare of unconconcious mneumotechnial birth and the birth itself of unconscious doing. The question if nature and nurture are, hyteres pato rapaultoqua malque pat, screwed in to the argoflaura of conceit to pathology in medicinal FT feedback can be reduced to area science of the nurturing in psychology, a field that can function in disease, but onethat purports to. If you imagine that a quarry of geobiletics, gene to paraphsychicphoney psychic qua phenotype as a nurture of ideogram it basically does not slide the proof out of evidentiality, that of use behavior. Dysregulation of use behavior qua behaves represents evidence, the graph of nature as a graphene has room and so the eidetic reduction is reversed, by conceit, that a quarry has even happened.
So if a person is condemned to suicidality in the spirit of r) by dint of grace he is graceless, or
To describe it is to describe a simple scenario where a person is transplanted by the mental health institution and given an outpatient service plan in the case of a residency that has all the seminar of the plan as a residency. “Maybe” the patient asks, “I am going to do (iii) from meds. Just because it renders a sensibility bias, a neurosurgical bias.”
The placebo positive relates to a person and he becomes the butterfly induced its program by the muttering of an inanimate developer, feedback from research-for-development projects, stakeholders of participatory impact pathway analysis transmogrify the literal network progenitor or founder’s myth in manageable language for analysis of the standard economy like a micro economy of Jungian distraction or proudhoun she is. R.P. (Viz. Kino) at the quantum rate of outflow integrability. Relating to my teeth or penetration is to be used.
I am right now acquiring a certification to perform social work in a mental health setting and by bringing to bear a bridge of credulity gap I want to intern in the field of prison education, reform, and discriminalization of penitency and usury of the ostensible code of penury in culture. I believe we are changing as a culture to approach a solution to popular rational time in crisis, to degrees unimaginable to political temerity of older decriminalable, untechnological hubris of the station of order to placeholders reached by the basic understandings of humanities and geophysical vocation.
I feel the arena of defense for the maladaptive choices which have been proclivity on cultural pegs is worth distributing unlaundered to a seat in possibility, health, and equipmental mentality via the sesine ad hoc of umbrella. I am in a position whereto receiving my degree, though invoked for incerative charges, and the decision of humanities it was to be a huge asset to total productivity geared technological meditations, facility to meditate as a world and release the hindrance of guilt for the peoples of my mental orbit. One day, not far away, demolitions will reach of poverty residencies to establish space pioneers that dwell there, whence TCM (tactical cost ministry or management) can enrich their replacement in wealth CAS. I know of fledgling solution within the spectrum of mental illness recovery as noise distribution FTF nanoscale engineering (binaural beats) — there may be encryption on Weyldlife Software where participation, revisional PDA thereof indice of education where the GDP is first world and first rate to educate (guilt is a feeling and like mental health service plans we decree the abstinence from feelings and why not abstain to abjection undressed to feel this certain way. Why not? Possibilites of crisis continue Origen to Dissolution in huge exuding exit strategies from a population using): This peopled expanse of time and the disease of third world abject and third party conflation of race manner grade in the stoke 10 percent exceeding hubris of thought about American Peer Services Inc. to options from fall population of voice human annuity and world order of familiar locomotive, this unthinking credulity gap to proffer a local waste and that of the crisis endemic to surviving vocation is the typical race matter in a divine physician-ship which showing wrong by that wrong with annuity, which of his persons standpoint redressed to take clinical action of his affordability of care on insistently and incipient: the universal camera looking into the speed thereof (actuated perceptive (Eng. IT) prehensile prosody in oscillator of tongue and tongue of race matters activities afforded. Faster than perception though stochastically printing our organum terrarum in a juxtaposition to the other strength whereas the taking of role to socially ambit a media of play, language defines experience, language is healing, connective, mean, and what is natal language or foreign birth language is a powerful version of the story of from, in positivistic murk, so we have a culture playing knowingly of the crisis of one another and brain drain of thinking, from SIM and intuiting extant the definition in a lexicon that ALL PEOPLE HAVE — and it is philosophical kintsugi or reason parameters to repress indice of repression ontology by self conscious as a philosophy of right quality of pyschology joisted into the hospice on we all share to whose key of reason, -What doe sit mean to overcome the world -How do we do it? -How does overcoming the world bless our lives his testimony of all people, Russel M. Nelson shares with the mental umbrella or mental appropriate internalization key, by internalizing institution=movitvation, internalizing emotion=powerful version of the SRI story, internalizes connectedness of experience. When we have an opportunity even as now to puncture the prison and espouse synthetic judgment to imprisonment in entrainment of property covenant with those thinking these problems outward, Binaural Wave Entrainment pegs a higher braket of injury-bridge intervention by interception, but what does remembrance that we do not have a native municipal burden of council within an peer group of illuminate detritus or debacle but a thriving direct market percentage of the dochyphric tool where parallel, systems, engage. The catalystic clarity of colonization in a world planets can be pushed out like huge Van Halen chord progressions kinetic oxyfrom a disc. Why not grab boldly hold probably its first question of criminology.
Precedent orientation Guilt is a feeling, like mental health concerns to every person regardless of disability, disease or background, coping work happens to presume the aesthetic of certain feelings while eliminating or empirically describing others out of range in the subtle that wants to feel a certain way; we all possess this right. Delta ~120–99 herz per osc.
Race is a determination of a categorical chain and a momentum the latter what genuinely and holist discrimination options take anthropomorphic of work and walk of life amid those chains to expose a bad vibration to the condition of mixed service of civic code quantifying the race where the psychology of circumstance circomlocution is race-crisis enabled about 70 to 75 percent of all race encounters. Alpha `12–40 herz per osc. The residual of meridian brackets are back log and as aesthetic of hubris the autonomous opposition in taking personal this ideological/repressive sensor. Theta ~30 herz per osc. In summary the feelings of guilt are cultural distinguished by racial matters that so as such race feels in meridian case, and adage of, and pressure to, entrance third world individuals. It is of note that in decompensated language and optimality and digitally members to observation would descent to third world country plasticity. The racial matters’ neurophysin ipsurti quantaquant licene binaural hallucinogen in Jungian drives out thereof calculus train of thought in POE vicarious to ei clique MRA, meridian responses resonate at socio humanitarian annuity. This is quite qualitative for feduciary market share, as a peer tool is a technological one, not indirectly but through happenstance to found education in incarceration as I describe my allegation of criminal charge for which to marker an understanding of technology in judgment of aesthetic appreciation to the ward.

My elderly mother loved her Primary Care Doctor, a very sweet, tiny Asian women. Dr.T could do no wrong. Yep, no wrong. As my Mom's memory and cognitive abilities began to decline, I started going with her to all medical appointments. I took notes, clarified instructions, and basically ran interference as needed. Like so many older folks, I couldnt rely on my Mom to remember what her doctor told her and it seemed wise to tag along. Oh, Lordy, am I glad I did.
Incident #1. My mother developed pain in her hip and while walking, too. Dr. T set her up for physical therapy for “arthritis.” The PT came out several times. Even at the first home vIsit, the PT was not convinced Mom had arthritis in her hip. He was convinced it was far more serious and he was uncomfortable with providing physical therapy. So! He called my Mom's sweet as pie doctor. She never responded to his concerns.
Second visit: the PT is now convinced it is definitely NOT arthritis and said no more physical therapy appointments until Dr. Sweetie Pie ordered an MRI. Dr. Filled With Sugar resisted, but just as I wore her down, my Mom ended up in the hospital. Before they could do the MRI -- which I insisted on, Mom's doctor had her scheduled for a PT appointment in the hospital -- despite knowing about the PT's concerns. I walked in Mom's hospital room as they were forcing her to get out of bed and walk. Mom was crying from the pain. Yes, I was pissed, and like the fire-breathing dragon I can be when roused, I pitched the proverbial fit and demanded they knock it off and get my Mom to the MRI room NOW.
As expected, my poor Mom's pain was from a fractured pelvis, not arthritis at all. Walking was the last thing Mom should have done.
Another issue: My Mom had osteoporosis and her bones began fracturing, one after the other. Unlike other doctors that treated elderly women with this condition, especially those that smoked, my Mom's fabulous oh so gentle-speaking doctor had never put her on Fosomax which would have helped.
So now, finally to the question about why doctors seem to ignore the healthcare needs of their elderly patients. My mother's highly rated, sweet as cherry Kool-aid had the answer when I asked once why she wasn't doing more for my Mom's now chronic pain. Basically, she said my Mom was old, and this was the best it was gonna get and what's the point? Yep, this bitch let my Mom suffer in pain for WEEKS, misdiagnosed her, dragged her feet, undertreated her for a common as shit old woman condition, which caused multiple fractures, and then had the nerve to shrug and tell me what's the point -- she's gonna die soon enough.
I made my Mom dump that doctor and i wrote a Yelp review about Mom's PCP, that sweet as anti-freeze, cold-hearted woman that had no respect for the elderly.

I don’t want to lose my relationship. I’m well aware I will if I don’t change. It’s almost like I have a blindness to my symptoms and how they are disordered or make my life worse. I do have a better ability to see how it could make other peoples lives worse. I struggle to care.
I’m in such a bad mood this morning and am being a bitch, but I’m so frustrated about this. I feel both self-aware and completely blind.
My symptoms have caused so many issues in my life. I was forced to go to residential treatment for anorexia, trauma, and NPD/ASPD for a total of 11 months a few years ago where I had to face this stuff. I’ve been diagnosed for almost 6 years and in therapy most of that time. Yet still I’m still so grandiose, entitled, and think the world should change for me and not vice versa. It’s slowly becoming aware of how severely narcissistic I am… I just wish I could make myself care more or feel ashamed of it or something that would prompt more change. I’m a malignant narcissist and want to force the world to either suffer because of me or change for me. In my mind I shouldn’t have to change, but at the same time I’m learning this doesn’t align with reality. Does anyone else relate?
I can take constructive criticism on this.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2743776/
So like I do... I heard about a brain thing today, that the anterior insula cortex (please forgive me if I get any of these words wrong) is less active in narcissistic people. And it mentioned that it has less blood flow and more grey matter in the left AI.
So I was curious because some autistic people are extremely empathetic and some struggle with that so I go and look up this part of the brain in relation to autism. What I found is that the AI has less connectivity than neurotypical people. Meanwhile our frontal lobes have a lot MORE connections.(also recently saw that autistic/ND people have much less synaptic pruning in childhood and have a lot more neurons, which is part of what makes narrowing attention difficult)
It does talk about how this affects awareness and affects responses to faces. I think for some people this could result in struggles with connecting to how other people feel or self absorption but like I said others have the opposite of that problem. I could see, just like conjecture, that part of the reason that some of us are so sensitive to others' feelings does have to do with that intense frontal cortex activity and how impossible that can make it to limit what you're aware of. But I guess it's a different kind of awareness of others or a different way of feeling their feelings in your body. And of course those of us who had to learn to assess everything about people and mask by performing emotional care-taking to keep safe definitely use a lot of intellectual or cognitive ways to do that.Personally I do a lot of analyzing people's feelings to connect, and when my feelings are hurt I want them to make me understand on an intellectual level, and my toxic relationships have been motivated by figuring someone out at times in addition to the emotions.
Sometimes I feel like I can know what someone's, like, ENTIRE deal is after knowing them very briefly. I used to be really vulnerable and unaware and dismissive of those observations when I was young but I'm in my mid thirties now and I can spot deception, and toxicity, and psychological hang ups, and pretty much any other vague thing about a person. If I know someone a little better I can know deeper things, that they've never told me, and I've realized lately that I need to pretend like I don't know these things and respond to *just* what someone is telling me more often when it comes to emotional connection/care. WHOOPS...
But ok. Oh man. When it starts talking about "The AI (Anterior Insula) appears to track the feelings and perceptions associated with bodily states" I JUST LAUGHED. LIKE YUP I can barely perceive myself. "tracks perceived thermal intensity" YUP can't regulate my body temperature, can't stop feeling hot once I'm hot."thought to play a role in the experience of emotion derived from information about bodily states" "participating in visceral sensory and somatic sensory roles" YUP managed to ignore pain conditions for at least a decade, broke the data set for a research study on pain perception, broke my leg and didn't make a sound because I was in a restaurant and didn't want to draw any attention, and because I couldn't tell I was in pain.
I've told my autism therapist many times that I can't sense my own body, and I don't feel things in real time. And even though I'm really good at understanding how other people feel and responding to their needs maybe that's more of a learned behavior or maybe I only struggle with feeling my own feelings! I also think that maybe, where it references brain activity when feeling pain or seeing a loved one's pain, that my interoception problem greatly changes my ability to perceive my pain but not my AI response to others' pain, that would be my theory.
I also thought the part that showed those with damaged AI having an easier time quitting smoking, super interesting!!! I've always been able to smoke without becoming totally addicted. Or it has been easier for me to stop than others.
I also think it's interesting that pain perception changing drugs like opiates don't change my perception. I don't think those receptors have much power in my brain to interact with pain.
This is all really interesting because lack of connectivity between my super active frontal cortex and the rest of my brain has seemed to be the problem for me and my mental health, completely.Nothing I learn in therapy seems to help translate to the parts of me that are actually creating the nervous system stress response, my freeze response, my now uncontrollable and widespread pain that I couldn't keep blocking out.
I know all this stuff about how to be better and nothing seems to connect to my body, which needs to do the real work. I can't think myself into doing better, and I really wish I could, because I know so much about how to do it!!! I don't have the ability to do much of my day-to-day anymore, it's just gotten worse as I got older, and I have these comorbidities with EDS and that affects your amygdala too and it's like...We know how much of this is purely neurological, and that neurology is making my brain feel like it's being attacked by a bear, nearly 24/7, except it's being attacked by overwhelm. And part of that is because of this, because I can't feel my own body, and my emotional responses to things get very delayed.And as much as I feel like I can connect to others, make them feel connection, I often don't feel like other people truly connect to me, or could respond to my needs through observation or even communication and maybe that relates to this too.Maybe part of that is not being able to feel emotional connections to people in the same way. Maybe I have this (neurotypical) idea of what it's supposed to be like and my emotions don't feel "the way they're supposed to" and I have to figure out what emotional connection feels like when it's so hard/impossible for me to engage in the sensory data happening in a moment.
Anyway there is a lot of cool stuff in this article/study that was really interesting for me, maybe you will enjoy it too.
PS I forgot to note that the study brings up autonomic responses like the GI tract which I know is also a huge thing for a lot of autistic people.

Like I can find all the papers and resources in the world about when to use respiratory-swallow coordination training, shaker exercises, CTAR, etc. But I haven’t used all of these before. Learned in grad school sure but never implemented so I am not 100% sure how. I have an idea but want to be sure I’m doing it perfectly. What are resources I can use to learn how to better provide these therapies? Same goes for various aphasia/cognitive therapies.
(To be clear I am comfortable with a decent amount of therapeutic approaches, just not all of them).

Cognitive remediation therapy for anorexia nervosa

Eating Disorders