FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Apparently, Krill did not check with law enforcement after the Rumors chapter…
Well shit…
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
The darkness around them was hot and stifling. Their breath had leached the freshness out of the crate hours ago, leaving them sitting in a stale muggy darkness. Sunny shifted in the near darkness, struggling to see with the single beam of meager light which filtered in from above.
Adam lay in her arms blacked out completely.
She let his upper body rest gently in her lower arms, while her upper arms searched through his blond hair –matted with dried blood– and across his scalp.
She swore she was going to kill the person who did this to him.
Didn't they know what a knock in the head could do to a human? Didn't they understand what a concussion meant?
He needed a doctor, he needed Krill, but the little physician wasn't with them now.
He was back on the Tesraki home planet with the ship.
And they were... well Sunny had no idea where they were.
It had all happened so fast, one moment they were walking through the streets, going through market vendor stalls and laughing about something stupid, and the next moment Adam was lying unconscious on the ground and her head was inside a bag.
She would have fought, but they threatened to hurt Adam if she did.
Perhaps if it had been some other person, she might have taken that chance, but she wasn't nearly willing enough to risk Adam for her own perceived vanity.
After the attack, they had quickly been carted off across the city and loaded into this crate. She had heard the sound of the docks and the roaring of engines. She had sat in here for hours as the ship passed in and then out of warp.
Wherever they were, they were miles away from home, with no one to come and same them.
And Adam was injured, likely concussed.
Worst of all is that she couldn't even see his eyes to check and make sure if he was ok or not. His breathing was relatively even, a slow expansion of his chest and ribs over and over and over again.
She adjusted herself, groaning softly as she attempted to stretch out her legs. Adam's body was dead weight in her hands as she moved him pulling him further onto her lap to where she could hold him with her right set of arms while examining his wound with the other two.
His head rested against her shoulder breath hot on her neck.
Good, she could make sure he was still alive that way.
The engine thrummed.
She had tried to break out of the box first thing of course, but that action had proven to be fruitless, as had screaming. The engine was much too loud. She had, of course, tried engineering her way out of the box, but without tools, space and with Adam's dead weight to work around, that had also been a fruitless option.
So, she sat in the dark and waited.
She was beginning to worry that Adam would never wake up when he finally began to stir.
Sunny sighed a deep sigh of relief.
"Adam. Adam, are you ok, can you hear me?"
For a horrible moment there was no answer, but then a groggy,
"Sunny... Where are we... Why can't I see?”
A hint of panic crept into his voice.
"Shh, you're ok we are just stuck in a crate, that's all."
"Oh that's good,"
He paused,
"Never thought I would say that about being stuck in a crate."
She sighed again in relief, glad to see that he was at least lucid and understood what was happening,
"Now hold on, what happened, and why do I have such a raging headache?”
She shifted slightly in her space as he adjusted himself.
The crate was small, so there wasn't really anywhere for him to go, so he just ended up resting more securely against her chest, head resting on her chest plate her lower arms wrapped around him to keep him in place.
"We were attacked, you were knocked out and I was threatened."
"And you didn't screw them up?"
"They were threatening to kill you. I only had so many options."
He grunted, and in the dark he sighed, turning his head so his cheek was brushing up against her,
"This has been a shit day."
That made her laugh. Leave it to Adam to make her laugh when their lives were in danger.
Nothing much they could do about the situation now, and they remained in darkness, curled up together under the roaring of the engine.
Both of them felt it when the ship came into atmosphere, growing more and more nervous as they felt their crate being shifted and moved. Their little sliver of light was completely gone now leaving them in complete darkness as they were jostled and jolted around inside the crate. Then there came voices, Tesraki, Drev, Burg, and another voice which was far less familiar to Sunny than any of the others.
She felt Adam go still in her arms.
"What?”
"Prodigum."
He hissed, the sharp crack of the spat word hissing through the darkness.
”Prodigum?”
Sunny didn't know much about that species. The only thing she knew for sure is that they had withdrawn from peace talks with the GA and were an outside entity. She knew they occasionally traded with the GA and that Adam had had some run-ins with them. Run-ins like human slave trade or… infant meat trade that gave him a serious hatred for their kind, which was uncharacteristic for his usual forgiving nature.
The crate jolted and rocked.
A distant thrumming filled the background, the lull of conversation, and then it went silent again.
The box jolted downwards.
"Here master, just as you requested."
"I assume you got a good specimen?"
Adam and Sunny leaned up against the walls of their crate trying to determine who or what was speaking.
"You will be most pleased with us master. Got you a real fine specimen we did, worth well over the asking prices. Will be the most exotic piece to your collection for sure."
There was a low sort of guttural rumble from the outside of the crate.
"I will be the judge of that. Open the crate."
There was some shuffling for a moment, a sharp snap and the sides of the box fell away. Sunny and Adam were forced to raise their hands against the light as bright purple and blue light assailed them from all directions. They blinked past the shade cast by their hands.
The room they stood in was strange.
They got the feeling that the open space was supposed to be some kind of meeting space or gathering room.
Perhaps even some sort of entertainment room with how large it was, two floors connected by wide arching ramps up either side of the wide room. The floor below them was a purplish sort of grey made even more so by the blue and purple lights from above.
Adam turned his head in a wide arc, his head raised towards the ceiling. Sunny followed his gaze, and was immediately horrified.
Overhead at least twenty cages had been suspended from the ceiling. Though most of them were either empty, three others were occupied.
Two sick, mournful looking humans and a bleached white skeleton.
"The fuck!?”
Adam turned his head, eyes narrowing towards the group that stood around them, and Sunny got her first good look at the Prodigum.
She was not pleased with what she saw.
It had to be the ugliest thing she ever saw, and that meant something with them knowing the Burg.
The creature was big, maybe a little taller than her.
It had a body sort of like a gorilla, if gorillas were absolutely hideous in every way.
Its back legs were short and stumpy, just one massive fleshy mass, holding up their incredible bulk. They had no neck to speak of, and their arms were absolutely massive, jutting ninety degrees from their shoulders and then ninety degrees again at the elbow. IF you were to have stretched out one of their arms it would almost have been one to two thirds’ times as tall as their own bodies.
Each arm was thicker than a man's waist, and instead of hands it had one long pointy spike.
When they walked, they walked on their wrists as if a human were to go to walk on their knuckles but have their wrist buckle leaving the spike to point back and up.
Its body was covered in an immense and pendulous collection of baggy folds which swung heavily from side to side as it moved.
There was no neck, and its large face was droopy, its horrific mouth a grotesque, sagging heap like a child was trying to melt a playdough smiley face in the microwave.
With two sets of eyes on either side of its grotesque head and the numbers spaghetti like protrusions, which dangled from its throat – writhing to and fro while also acting as the creature's hands – it was a grotesque and monstrous sight.
Sunny made a face. Adam grunted,
"Disgusting."
The aliens gnored them and kept speaking,
"And the Drev?"
"Consider her a bonus."
The big ugly creature grunted, expelling a burst of air from the two breathing tubes which sagged from either side of its neck, their ends opening and closing like the blowholes of a whale.
Adam shifted and stood unsteadily against Sunny's protests gripping the bars with white knuckled hands.
"You have no idea what you have just started, ugly!”
The Prodigum laughed, through it came out as wet gurgling snorts from its breathing tubes,
"Oh I know exactly what I have started… commander Vir."
Adam stepped back in shock, nearly tripping over Sunny in their tight confines.
The Prodigum leaned in close to the cage, the little spaghetti-like tentacles waving before the bars curling uncurling or wrapping themselves around cold steel.
Adam made a face.
"In fact, it was your presence which I requested personally."
He turned in his spot to look at the room around him, which Sunny was becoming to understand was far larger than she had originally assumed.
"I have many wealthy clients who don't settle for just anyone, commander. Your prestige will be a great selling point."
"What even is this place?"
"Many things, many things. It is a place of business, a place of frivolity, and a place where humans do what they are told."
His voice grew low and quiet. One of his large, spiked arms raised off the floor somewhat. The Spike brandished.
"And what exactly do you expect me to do for you?"
He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Why, the only thing humans are good for… I want you to sing!”
This time both Adam and Sunny were dumbstruck,
"You want me to do what now?"
"Sing, commander. You do know what singing is, don't you?”
Adam shook his head,
"You have got to be fucking kidding me. That's it!? That's why you kidnapped one of the most –not to brag or anything– powerful men in the GA. The guy with the firepower of an entire human fleet behind him, and you brought me here to be your cage canary!? To sing you little songs!!??"
The Prodigum grunted,
"That is precisely what I expect you to do, commander."
Adam proceeded to laugh in his face,
"You have got to be kidding me. Not only is this possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard of just in principle, but it is ALSO dumb because there are thousands of humans out there who can sing better than me. Sure, I can carry a tune, but I'm not Freddie mercury."
The Prodigum was not looking as bothered by the comments as he probably should have been. In fact, he almost seemed amused,
"This is not about your ABILITY to sing commander. Most nonhumans can't actually tell the difference between good and bad singing, they simply know it is something they cannot do. No, I didn't bring you here for your skill, I brought you here because of your importance. When my clients see you, they are going to understand what you represent... And that is my complete and total control, my absolute impunity when it comes to the law, and my ability to do whatever I want. You are a symbol of my power."
"Yeah, and you can suck a bag of dicks."
The Prodigum leaned closer,
"You will do what I want you to do."
A group of tentacles wriggled through the bars waving before their faces. Sunny saw it coming way before the Prodigum did, though he definitely should have seen it coming. The way the human's body tensed up, the way he grew still, the way his eyes drew to laser focus, the way that his knees bent and his hands curled at his sides.
And then he struck.
Like a cobra.
With one hand he reached out wrapping his fingers around a handful of the nasty wriggling tentacles before yanking hard.
The Prodigum screamed.
Sunny lunged forward to help all four of her arms shooting through the bars as Adam dug his fingers into the writhing tentacles.
There was an eruption of movement.
Adam craned his neck downwards, mouth open teeth poised to strike.
Everyone knew what a human bite meant.
And then there was an eruption of pain. Lightning coursed across her vision and Sunny found herself on the ground, legs twitching. She heard Adam yell, he was screaming through his teeth.
And then a dull thud.
The pain went away.
She looked over to find Adam sagging against the bars of the cage.
The Prodigum had retreated with his posse surrounding him…
He mewled with pain, a few of his face tentacles dripping blue onto the floor, others hanging limp and unusable.
The human began to laugh, despite the pain of the electric shock,
"Fuck-you."
With anger in his expression, the Prodigum looked up,
"Secure the Drev."
Sunny struggled to her feet as both her and Adam realized what was happening.
Sunny yelled for Adam to duck, but he was too late, a loop slipped over his neck tightening and pulling him against the side of the cage.
He choked and gasped trying to force his fingers under the loop kicking and struggling as the door was thrown open and Sunny was electrocuted again, before a group of others piled atop her securing her arms and dragging her form the cage, which was then shut.
Adam was let go, staggering to his knees, hands clenched around his throat.
He choked and gasped.
"I am going to make this very clear for you human."
Sunny was hauled upwards by the back of her carapace and suspended in the air.
"Do what I wish, or the Drev dies.”
Sunny struggled against their arms, looking back towards the cage where Adam knelt.
She wished he would tell them to go to hell, but she could see almost immediately by the expression on his face and the pain in his single green eye that the Prodigum had done it.
He had found Adam's weakness.
He had found humanity's greatest trait and their greatest weakness.
Their lo…yalty.
And now they were in his power.
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Does anyone experiences a tingling sensation all over their body and mostly scalp?? I feel a tingling sensation over both my arms, legs, neck, over the eyes and all over the scalp. The tingling sensation feels like a electric current running over the scalp and forehead and leg while doing any activity like speaking, reading, writing, sitting when somebody comes before me and in other social situations. At other times the tingling sensation becomes a heavy fog highly irritating over the scalp. The whole sensation is highly irritating and unpleasurable and unavoidable how much you try. I am having this tingling sensation and anxiety from past 8 years but due to ect(currently undergoing) and other medications(more than a dozen) the sensation index has improved by 65% to much relief but still there is a vast scope of 35% improvement. Currently I am on lamotrigine, desvenlafaxine, fluoxetine and maintenance ect(12 sessions completed, 13th coming). Has anybody or anyone in their acquaintance had similar tingling sensation spread all over the body(mostly where nerves are visible). If yes then how did they find relief and in what time? My nerves all over the body are hyper-responsive to my thoughts and constantly firing is how I perceive my problem. I have asked doctor for rtms but they say that is the last option and also not available at the treatment centre. I also perceive that anti convulsants like pregabalin and gabapentin can help reduce the tingling sensation over the scalp but I don't really know. I feel helpless always. But I have not lost hope. I am fighting, I practice mindfulness and constantly engage myself and I have faith in god. This is my present condition. Can anybody provide any help, any advice... BTW I am from India.

Hello, I am 31F, 2 years ago i suffered a heavy injury to my left eye, it caused blood clots on the retina. I was treated and these clots were dissolved. Doctor told me that my vitreous is now quite transparent and more liquid that it should be , like in an old person, but otherways only that I should avoid high pressure to it loke bungee jumping and similar stuff. My vision returned to normal and I went on with my life, but now once in few months I have a retinal migraine.
Should I be worried? It completely goes away after 10-20 minutes , but its quite scarry. It almost always happens at work when im looking at the screen.
Any comment will be highly appreciated.

Age- 24 years Height- 5' 7" Weight- 71kg Medicine- Divaa od 250(1-0-1), Risdone 0.5mg(0-0-1), Prodep 20mg(1-1-0), Briv 50mg(1-0-1), Lamitor 125mg(1-0-0), Ventab dxt 50mg(1-0-1/2) Smoking status- do not smoke Official diagnosis- dysthymia with major depressive disorder Past medical issues- Seizures in 2020, Serotonin syndrome in Jan 2022 due to self medication on maoi Location- Gujarat, India Treatment Hospital- K. J. Somaiya Hospital, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India Symptoms since- From 2015( total 8 years, perceived much relief but there is a scope of further improvement) Problem- high anxiety, sad feeling, tingling sensation over arms, legs, neck, legs scalp, eyes and forehead.
Does anyone experiences a tingling sensation all over their body and mostly scalp?? I feel a tingling sensation over both my arms, legs, neck, over the eyes and all over the scalp. The tingling sensation feels like a electric current running over the scalp and forehead and leg while doing any activity like speaking, reading, writing, sitting when somebody comes before me and in other social situations. At other times the tingling sensation becomes a heavy fog highly irritating over the scalp. The whole sensation is highly irritating and unpleasurable and unavoidable how much I try. I am having this tingling sensation and anxiety from past 8 years but due to ect(currently undergoing) and other medications(more than a dozen) the sensation index has improved by 65% to much relief but still there is a vast scope of 35% improvement. Currently I am on lamotrigine, desvenlafaxine, fluoxetine and maintenance ect(12 sessions completed, 13th coming). Has anybody or anyone in their acquaintance had similar tingling sensation spread all over the body(mostly where nerves are visible) or I am alone in this world suffering such weird tingling sensation. My nerves all over the body are hyper-responsive to my thoughts and constantly firing is how I perceive my problem. I have asked doctor for rtms but they say that is the last option and also not available at the treatment centre. I also perceive that anti convulsants like pregabalin and gabapentin can help reduce the tingling sensation over the scalp but I don't really know. I feel helpless always. But I have not lost hope. I am fighting, I practice mindfulness and constantly engage myself and I have faith in god. This is my present condition. Can anybody provide any help, any advice... BTW I am from India.

New celiac recently diagnosed in Feb 2023. Pre-diagnosis a big sign was my bloated/distended stomach (I was as even dismissed by loved ones and a doctor that this was “normal weight gain”). Post diagnosis I was doing pretty well on the GF diet and I am pretty careful to research everything that goes in my mouth —- still didn’t have a flat belly but nothing near the distension before.
Recently I foolishly had a lapse in judgement and thought a Tim Hortons iced cap would be ok, and I blew up like a balloon (looked easily 9 months pregnant). On top of that, shortly after that mishap after noticing continued bloating and keeping a sharp eye on my food/liquids, I figured out via online research and even calling the manufacturer that the iced coffee Ive been drinking every day (STOK Canada) is processed in a facility that also processes wheat (this product didn’t seem to bother me before but then all of a sudden it did, which makes me think the newest batch was definitely contaminated).
I don’t have accompanying gastro symptoms that everyone else gets- just mega extreme bloat which is CONTINUING now post-glutening going on a week now. It will subside a bit and then when I consume any food/liquid I blow up again.
Am I just sensitive now in general TO EVERYTHING from being glutened? This is so embarrassing and I’m at a complete loss. I am careful and research everything I eat. How do I fix this and how long can I expect it to take? It’s as if it’s truly hitting me now after initially taking the diagnosis so well that I will now have to live with a legitimate chronic health condition. 😢

i just lost my grandma to a brain tumour about an hour and a half ago. we found out about it exactly 1 week ago on june 2nd and had no choice but to move forward as her tumour continued to progress faster than ever. by the time we caught it the tumour had already grown to a 5 x 4 cm sized peach.. the worst part was we couldn’t even hear her speak for the last week of her life.
it’s like all her symptoms leading up to her death still doesn’t make sense.. 6 months ago she got cataract surgery and immediately after she experienced a loss of sense of taste.. couldn’t taste anything then couldn’t taste sweet things and everything was bitter. this went on for months and we were trying to help her. she began developing a hard time swallowing and started choking on food and liquid pretty much everytime she ate.
2 months ago began dementia-like symptoms: she couldn’t remember things, she’d ask a question then immediately forget she asked or that i answered. start saying inappropriate things like asking my 15 year old sister if she’s pregnant. the decline kinda just progressed at lightening speed from there. in those 2 months she slowly started losing strength in her legs, especially the right side of her body. she began to lose balance and fall frequently but never complained of feeling pain when she fell. we would find her laying on the ground beside her bed or chair or wherever, fallen and unable to get up.
she couldn’t walk without holding onto things and soon could hardly use her feet at all. she experienced loss of bowel and bladder control and put up a fight about everything including wearing her diaper. she was basically smearing poop on the walls and trying to shove poo down the sink. one of my last moments with her at home is of her standing in her diaper of poop trying to shove shit down the sink pipes.
we brought her into emergency shortly after that incident as she seemed unable to even sit up properly in her chair or hold up her hand to feed herself. she would be “well” and then suddenly extremely unwell. that overnight stay showed us a brain tumour the size of a peach and thus she was hooked onto a ventilator for the remaining week of her life.
after that she would just look at us, big eyed but we never will know what she could’ve been thinking about. i wonder if she even knew what was happening or that she was dying.. i assume she was experiencing delirium as last night when we were visiting she was seemingly a lot stronger and she waved us out of her way, when asked if she was trying to see what they were doing to the patient across from her she nodded yes. she was more interested in what they were doing to the patient across from her than of us! even if all she had to say was some random shit i would’ve loved to hear it one more time.
the only thing she never forgot how to do was pray. even with the ventilator on her windpipe she would pray and count prayers on her fingers using the lines on each knuckle. even in her state she would make us wash her feet for the fourth time in a row for her wudhu. she would pray for hours because she kept forgetting how many she’s done. she was so stubborn she wouldn’t listen to us. her faith was so strong for the entirety of her life all the way to the very end past delirium. i don’t know if i’ll ever meet a person as true to their faith in God as my grandma.
as for her diagnoses, we never really got one. a biopsy would take 10 days for results and with the size of it removal is impossible no matter what. this means she would suffer for those 20 days and have to heal from the incision taken for the biopsy and continue to be hooked onto a ventilator. chemotherapy to shrink the tumour sounded more torturous to her than helpful and we decided to settle into palliative care.. her tumour was pushing on her frontal and temporal lobe and pushing her brain up against the other side of her skull. she was a healthy women her whole life, but she was also very scared of doctors and illness and treatment. pains she felt leading up to her death she kept a secret, and they must have been intense pains. the only thing she had consistently was headaches her entire life.
and as for her death.. well we all gathered and our nurse took out the ventilator. we pretty much watched her struggle to breath and gargle for hours in her fluid filled lungs before she seemed to be breathing better. 5 hours later she passed in her sleep. we were hoping to be able to talk to her tomorrow.
i wanted to share her struggle over these past few months as it had come to us as such a shock, and if anyone had any experience with this stuff they’d like to share i’d love to listen. my grandma was incredibly strong and deeply complicated. she put up a good fight and never ever lost her faith in God. thank you if you made it this far

I think i am developing schizophrenia. Ever since i saw this UFO like thing in the sky at night i've been seeing things and hearing things. Things i have been seeing are like shadows and weird spazzy things in the corner of my eye, also like a light in the dark when i know there shouldn't be light there and one other thing that really concerned me is that i saw a clear orb fly around me and then it disappeared i was with my cousin who didn't see anything. the things i've been hearing have been weird too like a machine and a horn outside and when i checked theres no machine or horn there i have been really confused. should i see a doctor?

Just rewatching episode one after I finished the manga… the nurse that worked with our Doctor friend has eyes, mannerisms, and an attitude suspiciously reminiscent of Kana…
Now THAT would be a twist.

Hey everyone, happy Friday!
I wanted to share a frustrating situation regarding my father's eye-related issues. About a week ago, he went to an ophthalmologist who recommended laser treatment to address his itchy eyes. The problem is, my father also takes heart medication, and the doctor didn't advise him to stop taking it. As a result, he experienced bleeding in his eye and his vision has been impaired. Despite being prescribed numerous medications, his condition hasn't improved.
I've reached my limit with this situation and I'm considering escalating the issue to HAAD (Health Authority - Abu Dhabi). Does anyone have any advice on how to go about doing that?
A neighbor of mine suggested filing a complaint with the hospital first and then taking it to HAAD if there's no resolution.
I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or insights. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I'm a 27 year old woman. I was always insecure about my looks as a teen, and it was confirmed to me by just being very unpopular with boys/men and being straight up called ugly etc, but as a young adult I quickly got over it and ironically one day not long ago I had a mini glow up.
At around 25 I started just looking prettier for reasons that are beyond me, BUT my face is now very strange because it's both pretty or incredibly weird depending on very little.
And no this is not in my head, because I now am asked out by cute dudes fairly often (which is funny cuz I grew to identify as gay) but I also notice some men telling me they find me super attractive at first then being uninterested in a matter of minutes. Towing the line of being considered conventionally pretty and absolutely gross is kinda nuts to me.
So about my looks : I'm Moroccan so I have somewhat tan skin, thick black eyebrows, full lips, almond shaped brown eyes that I think are my best attribute, and ...drum rolls...a deviated septum on a hooked nose (yeah I got lucky lmao) + a deviated jaw but here's the fun bit : these two things do not look the same from any angle and they therefore make or break my attractiveness by an extremely long shot with moving my face just a bit. Some angles don't reveal these oddities at all and show a symmetric pretty face but turn me just a bit to the left or right and boom. And I know everyone looks different depending on angles but I'm talking about a critical difference. I can go from a solid 8 to a 2 in seconds because my nose and jaw are so asymmetrical that I can look like 6 different people in one photoshoot.
I don't dress particularly sexy and wear only eye liner so makeup doesn't weigh in that situation, I'm almost always bare faced.
Once again my self esteem is fine because I've learned to just accept it and feel confident anyway, plus i'm gay and women tend to not care as much about looks (not always but mostly). I really just posted this like a case study of my own face as in I think it's bizarre as hell.
I would post photos but I'm scared of breaking my anonymity so if you'd like to know, DM me cause I'd be curious to have a brutally honest opinion from someone I'm not close to.
Important clarification : I have a type 3 malocclusion so my jaw is prominent and also pointing left, and i also have a deviated septum. Both of these were told to me by a doctor so really not in my head.

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Pets

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Please post the pet or pets you currently have up for adoption, that you are zapping to adopt out, or that you wish to trade.
You do not have to post the name of the pet or the name of your account if you do not wish, but remember to check your reddit PMs if this is the only means of communication you are allowing!
Please update or edit your comments once you have found a new home for your pets.
If you want a pet, or are trying to adopt a pet out but want to give redditors first dibs, the /neopets Dream Pet List may be of some use!
For guides and resources, check out the following pages:
Pet Trading Guides
/~kalux - General Links and Resources
/~Erizolen - General PC Guide
/~pcguide - Another PC Guide
/~Danpo - Primary UC Trading Tier Guide
Pet Dream Lists
/~ZYDP - Zap Your Dream Pet
/~Eggso - UC Project & UFA UC Listing
/~Hootiolado - H.E.L.P's Dream Pet Listing
/~Moonsis3 - MOON's Dream Pet Listing
/~Clurisa - The Fortunate Ones Adoption and Dream Granting Agency
/~Joanna_Jean - ~Dream Pets~
Extra Paintbrush Clothes
/~Kyynator
/~Extrapbclothes
List last updated Aug 22nd, 2022
A little bit of everything
/~Petpage
List last updated Sept 4th, 2022

Rules

1. DO NOT mention /neopets or reddit on Neopets in any way.
2. Be excellent to each other, as always.

Hi all, I’m fairly new to this so I have massive respect and sympathy to everyone who has been battling for proper medical care and answers/diagnosis. I’ve had previous medical trauma issues so this has been triggering for sure. Some background- I’ll try to keep it brief. The last 4-5 months I have had symptoms consistently but now that I’m recognizing symptoms I’m realizing I’ve had some of these for years or longer. Basically since early February of this year I’ve had constant issues with overwhelming fatigue, nausea, headaches, tremors, blood pooling in my feet, hot flashes, clammy and cold hands and feet, GI cramps, anxiety dramatic decrease in appetite which resulted in weight loss. This all gets debilitating when standing or moving for prolonged periods of time which depending on the day can be minutes to hours. I can no longer work a full day so my schedule has been cut in half and even then Ive had to call in or leave early numerous times. I’ve had uncontrolled hypertension since pregnancy (5 years ago, hospitalized and induced early due to severe preeclampsia) which numerous medications over the years have not helped. Only the last several months have I also been getting some episodes of hypotension or near hypotensive readings- on the same day will have hypertensive readings at other times. My heart rate always increases when standing and I’ll have random surges of tachycardia that don’t seem to have an obvious trigger. My GP has had me do a lot of blood testing (regular chem panels including thyroid and adrenal) which were normal, echocardiogram (normal), upper GI endoscopy (normal), X-rays of chest and ultrasound of abdomen (normal), holter monitor (some infrequent arrhythmias and ectopy and multiple episodes of tachycardia and bradycardia but ‘normal’ to their standards). That all brings me to finally getting my TTT. I regrettably worked that morning and stayed too late and basically did not give myself time for my body to calm down before testing. My normal resting heart rate is at most 60 but they had recorded 84 as my resting BPM- I increased to the low 100s. My blood pressure increased from 124/90 to 148/115. My non raised hand and feet turned reddish purple and went numb and of course I got incredibly dizzy. I was told due to the heart rate increase not being high enough I tested negative for POTS. Of course this was a punch in the gut because I don’t see how this could be anything else. Could this still be pots but hyperadrenergic POTS? I’m asking for a redo but with catecholamine testing in addition but now waiting to hear back. I am so frustrated, no one understands what I’m going through and multiple doctors have made me feel judged so I don’t list all symptoms because I’m afraid it makes me look like a hypochondriac or like I’m trying to self diagnose. Hearing that because testing has been generally normal that ‘I’m fine’ is enraging in a way I find very hard to describe. Outside of bp and hr the symptoms are not readily testable and mostly subjective and therefore easily dismissed. I also haven’t mentioned to any of the doctors but I also have episodes where my skin gets really itchy (limbs, nose and eyes, scalp) which I always assumed was due to the opioid medication I’m on for a spine condition. But I also have a splotchy itchy rash I get on my hands every year when the humidity starts to increase late spring/early summer. Could just be weird allergies but the more I’m putting everything together the more I think I could have MCAS as well. For reasons listed above I don’t want to discuss it with doctors until I feel safe with someone who understands. Sorry for the long post, just looking for similar cases or advice because I feel so lost and frustrated going through this alone. Thanks for listening *edit: I was on propranolol for the last 4 years as part of hypertension treatment and was recently switched to metoprolol in the last three weeks

Hi all, I’m fairly new to this so I have massive respect and sympathy to everyone who has been battling for proper medical care and answers/diagnosis. I’ve had previous medical trauma issues so this has been triggering for sure. Some background- I’ll try to keep it brief. The last 4-5 months I have had symptoms consistently but now that I’m recognizing symptoms I’m realizing I’ve had some of these for years or longer. Basically since early February of this year I’ve had constant issues with overwhelming fatigue, nausea, headaches, tremors, blood pooling in my feet, hot flashes, clammy and cold hands and feet, GI cramps, anxiety dramatic decrease in appetite which resulted in weight loss. This all gets debilitating when standing or moving for prolonged periods of time which depending on the day can be minutes to hours. I can no longer work a full day so my schedule has been cut in half and even then Ive had to call in or leave early numerous times. I’ve had uncontrolled hypertension since pregnancy (5 years ago, hospitalized and induced early due to severe preeclampsia) which numerous medications over the years have not helped. My heart rate always increases when standing and I’ll have random surges of tachycardia that don’t seem to have an obvious trigger. My GP has had me do a lot of blood testing (regular chem panels including thyroid and adrenal) which were normal, echocardiogram (normal), upper GI endoscopy (normal), X-rays of chest and ultrasound of abdomen (normal), holter monitor (some infrequent arrhythmias and ectopy and multiple episodes of tachycardia and bradycardia but ‘normal’ to their standards). That all brings me to finally getting my TTT. I regrettably worked that morning and stayed too late and basically did not give myself time for my body to calm down before testing. My normal resting heart rate is at most 60 but they had recorded 84 as my resting BPM- I increased to the low 100s. My blood pressure increased from 124/90 to 148/115. My non raised hand and feet turned reddish purple and went numb and of course I got incredibly dizzy. I was told due to the heart rate increase not being high enough I tested negative for POTS. Of course this was a punch in the gut because I don’t see how this could be anything else. Could this still be pots but hyperadrenergic POTS? I’m asking for a redo but with catecholamine testing in addition but now waiting to hear back. I am so frustrated, no one understands what I’m going through and multiple doctors have made me feel judged so I don’t list all symptoms because I’m afraid it makes me look like a hypochondriac or like I’m trying to self diagnose. Hearing that because testing has been generally normal that ‘I’m fine’ is enraging in a way I find very hard to describe. Outside of bp and hr the symptoms are not readily testable and mostly subjective and therefore easily dismissed. I also haven’t mentioned to any of the doctors but I also have episodes where my skin gets really itchy (limbs, nose and eyes, scalp) which I always assumed was due to the opioid medication I’m on for a spine condition. But I also have a splotchy itchy rash I get on my hands every year when the humidity starts to increase late spring/early summer. Could just be weird allergies but the more I’m putting everything together the more I think I could have MCAS as well. For reasons listed above I don’t want to discuss it with doctors until I feel safe with someone who understands. Sorry for the long post, just looking for similar cases or advice because I feel so lost and frustrated going through this alone. Thanks for listening *edit: I was on propranolol for the last 4 years as part of hypertension treatment and was recently switched to metoprolol in the last three weeks

This has been a really hard struggle these past few months trying to figure out whats been going on, and its nice to finally have some sign of answers. After a move and a new and very thorough primary doctor, Lupus was something they pushed for testing and after many various specialist doctor visits including a rheumatologist, here we are! I've started taking hydroxychloroquine and hoping for the best over the next few months!
​
I guess too I'm really curious to know if anyone else out there has or knows anyone who has any symptoms that seem to affect cognitive function and things that are likely related to nervous system functions. I've been recently struggling with some new pre-syncope and full syncope episodes, full on dropping very frequently these past few weeks, almost for a month now. In general I feel a lot more out of touch with my thinking, like things are a lot harder to parse and understand...
The brain fog and outright confusion itself has been a very prominent issue since last summer just abouts, and it was at its worse with a few other symptoms (heavy fatigue and some joint pains) back when I had a job that had me working outside in the desert sun all day (very fun!). Its still fairly prominent these days though, which has led me to progressively be a lot more forgetful and inattentive than usual, and when I was known with some long time friends for being an incredibly organized individual its been... Hard to accept that's not quite the case anymore. That on top of some out of character I'd say behaviors its been a concern for a while.
I have had a CAT scan that did pick up something that was considered minor after some really bad episodes of fainting that I bit the bullet and went to the ER for, and I do have a neurologist appointment to talk in depth about these symptoms specifically but its not for another month. I really don't know if this specifically is lupus related, it could be some other various health issue, but I was curious on others anecdotal notes about anything similar, at least to not feel so alone in something so complicated.
​
Another thing is also wanting to ask if anyone has had any actual problems with vision loss on hydroxychloroquine specifically. I've always had bad eyes and have been legally blind for about 8 years now, but I'm still very grateful to have what vision I do have even if it is incredibly poor and have some heavy fears and worries about losing any more of it while trying to treat another condition... :( From what I've read its very uncommon and I have my eye doctor visits annually already because of the severity of my eyes already, so I'm sure if it does have any effect it'll be caught early enough, but that medication side effect does make me worried.
​
A last thing too is if there's anything anyone's learned from their doctors visits, both primary care and rheumatologist that might be a good idea to keep in mind to mention or inform doctors of in general during appointments? I'm not exactly the best at knowing what to mention at doctors appointments, though I think I've been getting better, so having some general ideas just seems like it may be good practice. At the very least I've gotten my doctors to finally listen to what I'm saying is whats affecting my overall quality of life, and not outright dismissing a lot of symptoms as purely anxiety anymore...! :'D
​
Oh gosh this was a lot more than I think I meant to type... Thanks for reading, if you did! I'm a little bit of a worry wart as things stand with it all being newly diagnosed, and its not something I really knew much of until fairly recently and its hard to try and understand what that means going forward as far as quality of life goes. :(

Intro: My partner has been fighting metastatic melanoma for a few years now, it’s at the point where they’re not going to “beat” it, we are just taking it day by day, week by week. Life is not fair. It is what it is.
We have had a 2 Emergency Department trips so far, so I’m writing this in hopes it helps people here plan for “in case we have to” to make things go significantly smoother in a potentially bad situation, especially one where you need to get to immediate medical attention.
Primary Healthcare Info – Keep a copy of these handy, in self-sent email and redundant stored elsewhere, a print copy is a great idea too

• Insurance cards
• PCP/Relevant Doctor Names
• List of Medications (+ times of administration and dosage) and allergies
• Emergency contacts
• Pharmacy information
• Personal ID, Credit Cards
• Spare n95 masks, hospitals can be really dirty and additional communicable diseases will make the situation much worse

Quality of Life stuff – When possible, consider storing these in a go-bag that can be immediately grabbed

• Clean comfortable underwear, socks, etc
• Favorite simple shelf-stable snacks
• Comfort items: stuffed animals, etc
• Spare glasses, hearing aids
• Sweatpants or pj bottoms, sweatshirt
• Tablet/Media-viewer, headphones and charger: hospital stays can get Boring
• Earplugs, eye mask to make sleeping potentially easier
• Toiletries, tampons, and any specific lotions and stuff you might need
• Logistical bags to keep stuff organized and consolidated

For you, the caregiver – This stuff can and should perhaps be included in your go-bag

• Spare keys attached to your primary keys. In case these are needed to be handed off during emergency to your support folks.
• Pre-planned emergency plan with friends – for care of kids, pets, home responsibilities, Document this stuff and go over it with your emergency help ahead of time.
• Phone charger, power bank - If you’re obstinate like me, consider replacing phones before their battery life nears “unusable”, we are extremely dependent on phones these days.
• Emergency work contacts saved in your phone, in case you need to take the day(s) off.
• Inflatable Neck pillow: if the hospital room has a chair, the kind of pillow you might bring on a plane might help you snooze comfortably in down-time.
• Notepad or notepad app for the phone – Lots of information you are going to want to record rather than rely on crisis-brain impaired memory
• Extra cash – for snack runs, for getting yourself lunch, etc
• Change of clothes and whatever necessary
• Water bottle, kinda hard to stay hydrated with crappy little hospital cups.
• Comfortable clothing (especially shoes and socks), and an extra layer if its cold

Any stuff folks have found useful, please feel free to chime in. Take care.
Further reading/similar topics https://www.reddit.com/preppers/comments/k0jhep/hospital_go_bag_advice/ https://www.mlkch.org/bring-to-hospital

Here is a possible story in the world of Rimworld:
The crash was sudden and violent. The escape pod had barely managed to escape the burning wreckage of the starship, but it was still damaged by the debris and the atmosphere. It spiraled out of control, heading towards a barren desert planet.
Inside the pod, three survivors were strapped to their seats, praying for a miracle. They were:

• Jade, a 25-year-old female space marine. She was strong, brave, and loyal, but also stubborn, abrasive, and trigger-happy. She had a passion for shooting and melee combat, and a hatred for pirates and raiders. She had a scar on her left cheek from a knife fight, and a tattoo of a skull on her right arm.
• Remy, a 32-year-old male doctor. He was smart, kind, and compassionate, but also nervous, neurotic, and squeamish. He had a passion for medicine and research, and a fear of blood and violence. He had glasses on his nose from poor eyesight, and a stethoscope around his neck.
• Lila, a 19-year-old female pop idol. She was beautiful, charming, and talented, but also vain, spoiled, and naive. She had a passion for music and art, and a love for fame and fortune. She had long blonde hair with pink highlights, and a piercing on her belly button.

They had been passengers on the starship, heading to a new colony on the rim of known space. They had different reasons for leaving their old lives behind, but they shared a common dream of adventure and opportunity.
They never expected to end up on this hellhole of a planet.
The pod crashed into the sand with a loud thud. The impact knocked them unconscious for a few minutes. When they woke up, they saw smoke rising from the pod's engine. They quickly unstrapped themselves and got out of the pod.
They looked around and saw nothing but sand and rocks. The sun was scorching hot, and the wind was blowing dust into their eyes. They had no idea where they were or how to survive.
They were scared and hopeless.
They checked the pod's computer for any signs of life or civilization. They found none. The planet was uninhabited and uncharted. They were alone.
They checked the pod's cargo for any supplies or equipment. They found some. The pod had carried some basic survival gear, such as food rations, medicine kits, weapons, tools, and materials. They also found some personal belongings that they had brought with them from the starship.
They were relieved and hopeful.
They decided to make the best of their situation. They agreed to work together as a team, and to use their skills and resources to build a colony on this planet. They hoped that someday they would be rescued or find a way off this planet.
They were determined and hopeful.
They started by building a shelter out of steel walls and wooden floors. They used some solar panels and batteries to power their lights and appliances. They used some beds and furniture to make their shelter comfortable.
They also built a kitchen where they could cook their food rations, a freezer where they could store their food rations, and a dining room where they could eat their food rations.
They were hungry and hopeful.
They continued by building a farm where they could grow their own food. They used some hydroponics basins and lamps to grow rice, potatoes, corn, and strawberries. They also planted some cotton plants to make cloth.
They also built an animal pen where they could keep some animals. They used some haygrass to feed them. They had found some animals near their shelter that they had tamed or captured. They had two muffalos that they could use for wool and milk, two alpacas that they could use for wool and meat, two chickens that they could use for eggs and meat, two dogs that they could use for companionship and protection, and one cat that they could use for companionship.
They were happy and hopeful.
They expanded by building a workshop where they could make their own equipment. They used some workbenches and machines to craft weapons, armor, clothing, and furniture. They also used some research benches and books to learn new technologies and skills.
They also built a hospital where they could treat their injuries and illnesses. They used some medical beds and vitals monitors to heal faster. They also used some drugs and medicine to ease pain and cure diseases.
They were healthy and hopeful.
They defended by building a wall around their colony. They used some sandbags and turrets to fortify their wall. They also used some traps and mines to deter intruders. They had faced many threats on this planet, such as pirates, tribes, mad animals, giant insects, and ancient killing machines. They had fought them off with courage and skill.
They also built a comms console where they could communicate with other factions. They used some radios and satellites to send and receive messages. They had made some friends and enemies on this planet, such as outlanders, spacers, raiders, and mechanoids. They had traded with them, allied with them, or fought with them.
They were safe and hopeful.
They dreamed by building a spaceship where they could escape this planet. They used some advanced components and materials to construct their spaceship. They also used some cryptosleep caskets where they could sleep until they reached their destination.
They had found a broken-down ship with the help of a friendly AI. The AI had told them that it could take them to a glitterworld, a paradise planet where they could live in peace and luxury. The AI had also told them that they had to defend their ship for fifteen days as other desperate inhabitants of the planet attempted to seize control of it.
They were ready and hopeful.
They started their ship, and waited for the countdown to end. They saw their enemies approaching from all directions, armed with guns, knives, bows, grenades, rockets, and flamethrowers. They heard their enemies shouting threats, insults, and demands.
They grabbed their weapons, and prepared for the final battle. They had rifles, pistols, shotguns, swords, clubs, spears, molotovs, frag grenades, and EMP grenades. They shouted words of encouragement, support, and love.
They were brave and hopeful.
They fought their enemies, and defended their ship. They shot them, stabbed them, bashed them, burned them, and blew them up. They killed them, wounded them, or scared them away. They also healed themselves, rescued each other, or buried their dead. They fought with skill, strategy, and teamwork.
They were strong and hopeful.
They won the battle, and secured their ship. They cheered, cried, and hugged each other. They thanked the AI, who congratulated them on their victory. They boarded the ship, and entered the caskets. They closed their eyes, and fell asleep.
They were happy and hopeful.
The ship took off, and left the planet. It flew through space, and reached the glitterworld. It landed safely, and opened the caskets. They woke up, and saw a new world. It was beautiful, green, and peaceful. They saw friendly people, who welcomed them warmly. They saw advanced technology, that fulfilled their needs. They saw amazing wonders, that amazed their eyes.
They were happy and hopeful.
They lived on the glitterworld, and started a new life. They built a new home, where they could live comfortably. They found new friends, who they could trust and love. They found new hobbies, that they could enjoy and learn. They found new happiness, that they could share and cherish.
They were happy.
The end.
Source: Conversation with Bing, 6/9/2023 (1) RimWorld on Steam. https://store.steampowered.com/app/294100/RimWorld/. (2) RimWorld - Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RimWorld. (3) RimWorld - Sci-Fi Colony Sim. https://rimworldgame.com/. (4) RimWorld review PC Gamer. https://www.pcgamer.com/rimworld-review/.

I'm not totally sure what to make of it, but my team has me constantly doubting myself and feeling pretty bad about myself.
3 months ago, I decided to go back to college. I start my classes this week. I left because of a severe mental health crisis 3 years ago. After almost 3 years of constant work on myself, I felt ready to try it again.
My psychiatrist and therapist said that they were on board. I also have/had to find a new job (the place went broke- I don't recommend trying to work at a startup). My psychiatrist wished me luck, and my therapist wrote a letter of support to my school. My therapist cautioned that I should start slow.
Things got really fucking awful as the situation panned out. I've been having a lot of trouble finding even a minimum-wage job. It's off-season (we're in a tourist destination that's also a desert- so business is only locals until about October), and most retail/etc want you to have 24/7 availability, when they have like 6-10 hours a week available for the position. Most places (about 70%) haven't even opened my resume, regardless of what kind of job it is. I've interviewed about 6 times, and each one said that they would let me know in a month+ (and that they had 20-60 candidates to consider). As far as school goes, I was going to just take math, but the school suggested I take intro to psych as a prerequisite to my plan to do full-time in the fall, so I'm signed up for 2 classes (the only thing I'm happy about in this situation).
When my psych asked about my job search, I said 2-3 sentences pretty similar to what I said above. His attitude did a 180. He said I was an unbearable, difficult, egocentric person, who felt entitled despite having no life skills. I admit that I've been through way, way too many jobs in the last 2 years, but we didn't find a med combo to battle the bipolar and ADHD that entire time. I didn't know what normal felt like until about last October. I was banking on this job lasting, but they went bankrupt. He said that it's my fault I was laid off, that I was unequipped to handle more than 20 hours a week of retail (which I've done before; my most recent job was $7/hour more pay than that, in an office and full-time). He suggested I "learn humility" by "working at Mc.Donald's as a cashier" for a year or more, before he would endorse me trying to better myself. Our appointments are normally 15-20 minutes, but he spent 1 hour 17 talking to me like this. He ended with demanding to speak to my therapist, because, "either you're impossible to work with, or your therapist is terrible at his job."
When I told my therapist about this, his attitude changed, too. He said he had been going too easy on me, and that he agreed with almost everything the doctor said. He started ragging on me for my life not being organized atm (unemployed, few friends, trouble with chores, etc etc). He said that anyone who agrees that I'm ready for school doesn't really support me, because anyone who did would tell me that it was a horrible idea. He said I should leave university and go to community College, taking less than half the credits I want to, and working maybe 10-20 hours a week at most. He said I was disordered, dysfunctional, have a victim complex, and I'm in a "24/7 crisis."
I told him at the next session that I was hugely discouraged and distressed by how they've been talking to me, and he doubled down. He said that he thinks I'm not even ready for a class, that I should take the easiest thing available or get a certificate for 1 class online. He said that I was permanently disabled by my mental health crisis in 2020, and that I needed to lower my expectations to be less than normal functioning/half of what I was doing before. I asked him why I would be unable to do what I did at 18, when I'm 6 years older, more focused, more serious, more thoughtful, calmer, and have been to therapy for years. He said that he didn't ever expect me to function. He said it's not if I fail, it's when I fail. He also asked, "So, will you tell Dr.X that I agree with him, or are you going to hide it from him?" (Then charged my credit card, because he's not on my insurance. LOL.)
Anyone close to me that I've told this stuff has been shocked. I really don't know what to do. Every interview has me depressed, and they seem to be going worse since that 1st appointment last month. It's hard to not seem desperate, and I guess there is something wrong with me if they all ghost me after saying they'll "let [me] know." I'm depressed, I have a hard time being intimate with my partner, I feel discouraged and unconfident, and I feel alone. Mostly, I'm embarrassed. My therapist said that me feeling "betrayed" is a sign of how disordered I am. Idk, though, I wouldn't talk to anyone like that, much less my client. They also told me that they "get it" and "relate to [my] failure." The therapist is a recovered bipolar man with a family and a master's. The psychiatrist gave the example of, "I got rejected from 10 medical schools. Fortunately, I was accepted into Harvard..."
I don't know what to do. I don't think the psychiatrist is a good fit (I met him in February). But my therapist? We've been working together for a year and a half. I thought he saw me making progress. I guess he thinks that I really am difficult and horrible, and said that he didn't work with me with the expectation that I'd ever function the way I want to. That I'm disabled, unstable, fragile, and incapable. A couple of people in my life are doubting me. "But what if they're right?"
The kicker is that my therapist met me at my lowest point. Failed meds (to the point of not recognizing myself and feeling cognitively impaired), failed jobs, no friends, and living with an abusive narcissist who was trying to destroy my relationship. I thought he'd be proud of where I am. I don't know what to do with the fact that he doesn't think I've improved at all, or that I'm likely to ever achieve what I want to. Meanwhile, I was on the honor roll from grade 8 up until my sophomore year of college. He said school and a small amount of work is "grandiose."
I see him tomorrow. I think about these appointments non-stop. I feel like I might not even know myself, or that I might be a delusional or shitty person. I feel sick all the time. I don't want to tell him any of my problems, and why would I? The last appointment, he used all of my struggles as ammo to back up his thoughts on me. And yet, I really struggle with mental health professionals. I don't want to open up my entire life to strangers again. And what if they turn out to be judging me like that, too? I have a lot of relationship trauma and trust issues, so trying to improve my life with my mental health team (which I thought of as my rock) treating me this way is kind of my nightmare. I feel really sick, and it's hard not to fall back on patterns of perfectionism and self-loathing. And I'm beating myself up too much. Oh, and I'm struggling with intimacy, so I feel inadequate for even my best friend/partner, and guilty about that.
Idk what to do. I don't know if I can tolerate this. It gets worse when I try to set boundaries or express my feelings. And I don't want to have to fake or hide things in therapy. I'm also a little terrified of the psychiatrist. He's violated my treatment goals before, and he recently suggested cutting my ADHD meds in half (I know that they don't work at all at that dose), and upping my sedatives, even though I told him that oversleeping is an issue. (he said the reason I slept 12-16 hours a day was just because I was lazy, despite me setting like 7 alarms. I literally can't open my eyes, and I've fallen asleep drinking coffee before). Also, when I was over-sedated, I was having trouble thinking, focusing, driving, staying awake at work, and had partial amnesia. I'm terrified that he'll go through with those ideas and sabotage my functioning when it's most crucial (my schooling is contingent on a good grade in my summer classes). Maybe I'm paranoid.
TL;DR: Psychiatrist and therapist seem to have changed their minds about me being capable of school (basically my dream since I was a kid). They think I'm insufferable, broken, and incapable, despite me feeling like I've improved a lot. I'm feeling doubtful, depressed, and so anxious that I feel sick. I don't feel safe opening up to them. I don't want to keep going to appointments, and I don't trust that doctor with my health and sanity. Idk

Okay I know that this sounds a little bit crazy but I have abnormally vivid dreams. When I say I'm not always the same gender or age sometimes I'm not on this planet I'm living other people's lives... And yes I know that they are dreams but like when I wake up I feel like I just did the physical labor that I was doing in my dream or I feel like I'm losing my family and I'll never get to see them again and I have these deep emotional sensations tied to my dreams... Okay so that's clarified most of the time my dreams are always completely different scenarios but there was a long time where I was having these recurrent ones. Well at least a recurrent theme because I would usually still be somebody different in each dream however I was always on the same planet or dimension whatever it was.
It was very much like Earth and the people look like humans but there was something about their eyes that let me know that they were not and the problem was if they realize that I knew that they were not the same as me then they would all start streaming at the same time and start chasing me trying to eliminate me. I had to be really careful not to look anybody in the eye in my dreams for the longest time because they immediately would know that I knew that they were not the same and that meant that I was an alien to them there was something wrong with me and they had to take me out.
On to the point.. I was getting ready for bed relaxing watching the good doctor and on a specific episode there was this actor who gave me extreme uncanny valley vibes exactly like the alien or interdimensional beings in those dreams gave me. I have never experienced that in my waking Life ever with anything or anyone to this extent. (To clarify gorillas and other great apes give me an uncanny valley sensation but that's it.)
I'm telling you there's something about his face that screams to me that he is not a human being... I do not have any mental illnesses other than depression, and I am autistic level 1. The autism might be contributing towards it. None of the heart medication that I am on would cause any of these sensations and I've been on these medications since July.
Am I the only one? Has anybody else experienced anything like this where they get uncanny valley looking at another human? I don't fall into the lizard people conspiracies or any of that I just feel like there's something completely different about him and you can see it in his eyes more than anything.

I essentially have problems moving around in space with full relaxation. I feel tingly feelings (like when someone scares you, fear tingly) along the back of my head, behind nose along back and neck. I have been out of mold for a while but can’t shake this state off. It comes and goes sometimes increases or is completely gone. I also have presyncope (content feeling like I will faint) it is like my mind glitches, brings me back, makes me feel unstable and like I’m gunna fall over and die or pass out but I never do. Doctors have no clue. I feel like when my head turns or if I spin around my body cannot handle all of the coordination. Is this cirs? Mast cell? Histamine? Lyme? Is this psychological? I also visually glitch items jump or twitch when I know they aren’t. I have a hard time focusing on one spot, my eyes shift around after 1 min in. This is all mold related. I’ve already had an mri and been cleared via tons of tests. I no long have a lot of mold symptoms. If anyone has experienced something similar to this please reach out or message. How to treat or even relieve some of this. Techniques to cope? I end up just pushing through the symptoms each time.

A few months ago I lost my phones memory card. It had 5 years worth of photos. I WAS VERY UPSET. My 6 year old knew this and was there while I was upset and while I was happy when it was found.
I put it in an unlocked lock box in my closet in a mini cardboard birthday box. Today I found the birthday box on the floor. I knew immediately my son was tampering with it because my hubby wouldnt have toyched it. The memory card wasn't in it. He lied and lied and FINALLY told me the truth. I promised I wouldn't get mad- and I held my promise. But BOY AM I FUMING. He flushed my memory card down the toilet.
My son is not a typical kindergartener. He is extremely well behaved and INSANELY SMART- always has been. Teachers and doctors are shocked by him. Sooo.. he knew what he was doing. 💔
What do I do to handle this situation.?? Also- he did see me cry and he got so upset and bawled his eyes out. How do I approach/discipline him in this situation? I'm not sure if I'm more upset that I lost all those photos or at the fact my son did this to me. I feel like he directly did this to hurt me because he knew exactly what he was doing and that's what hurts the most. 💔💔💔 I know he doesn't want to see my hurt, but that's just how I feel given I am so upset.