Ihsa all conference football 2022
2012.02.16 02:13 IAMJesusAMAA Allsvenskan
Allt om Svensk fotboll. Välkommen!
2010.08.12 19:00 Football Manager Forums - FootballManagerGames
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2010.07.24 01:25 Measure76 Go Hawks!
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2023.05.28 20:45 I3ULLETSTORM1 [USA-TX] [H] RX 6700 XT, Ryzen 5 3600, DDR4 16GB 3200 MHz, Surface Book 2 Laptop, Xbox Elite Series 2 Controller, 80% Cherry MX Blue Keyboard [W] PayPal or Local Cash
Planning a trip so I'm looking to get a bit of extra cash at the moment. Timestamps and multiple pictures are provided for each item.
Each item will be shipped for free, and I'm flexible on the prices. I'm local to DFW (76140), so if you're in the area I'd much rather just meet in person and give you a better price so neither of us have to deal with shipping and PayPal fees. Plus I need to leave the house more lol
|Item ||Description ||Price |
|RX 6700 XT XFX SWFT309 ||Bought this around a year ago for a friends build, never ended up using it so I have been using it since Sept. 2022 for purely gaming. Swapped to an older, slower GPU since I don't game as much nowadays ||$280 Shipped OBO |
|Ryzen 5 3600 ||Also bought it for friend's build but never used it. Has been sitting in its holder for around a year. I don't have the original box or stock fan ||$70 Shipped OBO |
|Crucial Ballistix 2x8 GB 3200 MHz CL16 DDR4 (Micro E-Die) ||Very good RAM. I managed to overclock these sticks to 3600CL16 and used it for a very long time. I upgraded to 32 GB though so I don't use these anymore ||$40 Shipped OBO |
|Microsoft Surface Book 2 i3 7300u 8GB RAM 256GB SSD Windows 11 Home ||Was girlfriend's but she gave it to me for school. Unfortunately it is too slow for the stuff I do so I have not used it for a while. It is not in the greatest condition ever, but it is 100% functional and the battery is surprisingly still very good. I do not have a Surface Pen ||$210 Shipped OBO |
|Xbox Elite Series 2 Controller ||Contains all of the original accessories and box. It is in a fantastic condition, however the warranty is expired. Minimal stick drift ||$90 Shipped OBO |
|Cooler Master MasterKeys S Cherry MX Blue 80% Keyboard ||My first mechanical keyboard which I haven't used for a long time. The keyboard still functions perfectly, however the keycaps are noticeably worn. Has some O-Rings installed which can easily be removed ||$45 Shipped OBO |
Feel free to ask any questions or even additional pictures if you'd like. Thank you for checking out this post :)
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to hardwareswap [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:45 Big-Research-2875 Prokaryotes Cell Structure
Prokaryotes ar the foremost varied and widespread organisms on earth, and ar thus classified as a result of they need no outlined membrane-bound nucleus.
Prokaryotes comprise 2 separate however connected groups: the bacterium (or eubacteria) and therefore the archaea (or archaebacteria). These 2 distinct teams of prokaryotes diverged early within the history of life on Earth. The living world thus has 3 major divisions or domains: bacterium, archaea and eukaryotes .
The bacterium ar the normally encountered prokaryotes in soil, water and living in or on larger organisms, and embrace escherichia and therefore the Bacilli species, moreover because the eubacterium (photosynthetic blue-green algae).
The archaea chiefly inhabit uncommon environments like salt brines, hot acidsprings, bogs and therefore the ocean depths, and embrace the sulphur bacteria and therefore the methanogens, though some ar found in less hostile environments. Prokaryotes Cell Structure
Prokaryotes typically place size from zero.1 to 10 μm, and have one amongst 3 basic shapes: spherical (cocci), rod-like (bacilli) or helically rolled (spirilla). Like all cells, a prokaryotic cell is delimited by a cell membrane that fully encloses the cytoplasm and separates the cell from the external surroundings.
The cell membrane, that is concerning eight nm thick, consists of a lipoid bilayer containing proteins. though prokaryotes lack the membranous subcellular organelles characteristic of eukaryotes,their cell membrane is also infolded to make mesosomes.
The mesosomes is also the sites of DNA (DNA) replication and alternative specialised protein reactions. In photosynthetic bacterium, the mesosomes contain the proteins and pigments that lure light-weight and generate ATP (ATP)The binary compound cytoplasm contains the macromolecules [enzymes, courier polymer (mRNA), tRNA (tRNA) and ribosomes], organic compounds and ions required for cellular metabolism. additionally inside the cytoplasm is that the prokaryotic ‘chromosome’ consisting of one circular molecule of deoxyribonucleic acid that is condensed to make a body referred to as the nucleoid.To protect the cell from mechanical injury and force per unit area, most prokaryotes ar encircled by a rigid 3–25 nm thick cell membrane .
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to Thinkersofbiology [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:44 Calm-Water6454 How do I move past the doubt?
This is going to be a ramble from someone who feels like they should have their shit together and doesn't. I'm supposed to be starting T next week. . .
I am struggling with imposter syndrome and doubting my identity. Following a nearly two year long gender crisis, I started identifying as nonbinary in January 2022, and then a trans man January 2023. I know that I don't like not having controll over my presentation. I don't like being shoved in the box of woman/girl because of the way I look. But I still love things like dresses and skirts and being feminine. But she/her feels weird. It feels wrong. But it didn't feel wrong for a long time, for 24 years of my life!
And I did have curiosity about what it would be like to be a boy. Was curious on what having a penis would be like, and eventually decided that penises were just the better kind of genitals.
But mostly, I admired people like feminine gay men and femboys. People who could be bold, and feminine, and men all at the same time. Woman empowerment felt important, but I could never feel empowered as a woman. I felt weak, and scared, and was a constant people pleaser.
Now I'm on the cusp of getting what I want, testosterone, and I'm suddenly doubting everything. Could I be happy living as a woman? Do I want to use the men's restroom? Or do I just not want to be told which one I have to use? Do I want to be viewed as a man? Or do I just want control over my own body? Mostly, I wish I could be androgynous. I wish my body was gender neutral, so I could dress as masc or as fem as I wanted and be read the way I wanted to at the time. I want to be the boy in the dress who sometimes people are surprised is a boy, but are not disbelieving when I tell them I'm a boy. I want to be masc and fem enough that no one is really sure what my gender is and waits to see which bathroom I walk into. And then part of me wants to fuck with people, by switching which bathroom I go into every time.
I just tired of my body being so painfully "woman". But I don't want to be fully masculine either. . . So that leaves me the question of how do I get what I want? And is what I want even possible?
submitted by Calm-Water6454
to FTMfemininity [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:41 Emerald_Aussie School of Beards Chapter 27: “BeardSchool is Out (for Summer)!”
We have done it. The end of another school year! Before we jump into this last set of stories, remember to subscribe to ReddX, home of the best cringe content on YouTube. Promise, swearsies, it’s just a fact and it’s totally science. Go ahead and look it up!
I miss that intro a lot so I figured I’d just write it in. I waited until after graduation to post this because, with ManiBeard at graduation, I figured anything could happen. And it did. And with that, let’s jump into this last set of beardy tales (for this school year). Let’s a-go.
- “No Place Like Home (Campus)”
I was in a pretty good mood because I found out that district was ticked off at admin for considering moving my Cave to a different room next year and because they keep using my Cave as ‘backup’ for state testing. Evidently, the district was unaware this was happening but after I had complained to Cook about the extent of it she went to the district and, well, I’m keeping my Cave next year right where it is, and testing use will be limited. I won without lifting a finger. Sometimes bureaucracy works. Not often, but it’s beautiful when it does.
Of course, that good mood was not to last…
On this day I had a meeting with all the other Graphic Design teachers at another campus. We will call it Clique High School (because ‘cult’ may or may not be YouTube-friendly).
The first thing you need to know is I have a history with CHS. Remember, all the way back in chapter 1 where I mention I was a substitute teacher at Standard High before they hired me as a teacher? Well, there was one part I left out because it was irrelevant to that story, but it becomes relevant here. It is true I did sub at SHS, but the part I left out was that for half of the 2020-2021 school year (Covid year), I was a long-term sub at another campus and that campus was Clique High School. To say it was a poor experience would be underselling it immensely. You could say that Elon Musk is well off but that doesn’t really express the massive mounds of money that malevolent menace truly had. Likewise, saying I had a poor experience at CHS doesn’t really express the absolutely traumatizing, terrible, troublesome experience that my life there. It got so bad that I would leave work, cry the entire 30-minute drive to SHS, pick up Beatle, and make him drive the rest of the way home because my eyes were sore from crying.
What did I do at CHS? Well, I was a long-term sub in ESL. That’s where I got my start with it. When I walked in at the start of that year I’d never had a high school classroom before, I had no lesson plans, limited access to the curriculum since I was a sub, and I was teaching virtually because Covid…and what did I do? I build a curriculum, bonded with my class, and wrote my own lesson plans (even though subs generally don’t write plans). Basically, I rebuilt their ESL program. I did apply for the job. After all, I was already doing all of the work for substitute pay. I may as well get teacher pay for being a teacher. Right? Wrong.
They did interview me for the job but then proceeded to yank me around for half a semester before finally saying they were going to hire someone else. Who? No idea. But not me. But they wanted me to continue to long-term sub and do what I was doing until they found someone. Honestly, when I didn’t get the job part of me was pissed because of all the work I put in, but part of me was relieved. You see, the culture at CHS isn’t like the culture at SHS. Their principal, whom we will call Mr. D (for reasons that will soon be clear), had been named the district’s principal of the year and his staff completely fawned over him…a staff mostly comprised of women. The male-to-female ratio at CHS was considerably more unbalanced than at SHS. What struck me as odd was that Mr. D did not seem to warrant such admiration. During my interactions with him, I got slimy car salesman vibes more than high school principal. I would come to find out that this went deeper than I knew.
Remember AVIDBeard? Yeah, to her credit she was the one that warned me. Mostly I think she saw a chance to gossip, but nonetheless. I was visiting SHS and telling the English dept. how much I missed subbing for them (they actually liked me at this time…this was long before EnglishBeard even worked there so certainly before that whole thing made me a pariah). They missed me too. Although honestly, they missed having a sub at their becken call. Let’s be real. Anyway, AVIDBeard was all too happy to jump in with gossip.
“Be careful over there Mandy,” AVIDBeard said.
“Why? What do you know?” I asked.
“I had a training over there once and this teacher that works there started freaking out because the instructor, who was also a teacher there, was late. She started to have an anxiety attack and when I asked her what was wrong she said ‘Daddy isn’t going to like this’,” AVIDBeard explained.
“What?!” everyone in the room asked at once.
AVIDBeard nodded, “I know! So I asked her, ‘you call your principal Daddy?’ and she said ‘of course.’.”
I raised an eyebrow. I was skeptical, to say the least. Even then I knew AVIDBeard was not a reliable source. But, on the off chance she was telling the truth I had to know. CHS wasn’t exactly full of friendly teachers. In fact, where everyone at SHS had been welcoming, it had been the very opposite at CHS. They treated me like an outsider they were skeptical of. I had managed to at least have somewhat of a dialogue with the librarian. She helped me to ensure that my ESL students had books in their native languages to read during the pandemic. I went to her one day to ask about scheduling some book pick-ups for the students (this was when teachers were on-campus but students were virtual).
“Hey, can I ask you something?” I asked after we had figured out scheduling.
“Sure, what’s up?” she asked.
“OK, so it’s dumb, but someone told me you guys call Mr. D ‘daddy’. Silly, right?” I said with a laugh.
She just blinked, “Who told you that?”
Her reaction caught me off guard. She wasn’t laughing. My eyes widened, “Um, I don’t remember, it just got mentioned in passing.”
“Don’t ask anyone else that question…just…don’t even mention it,” she said.
I blinked. I wanted out of this conversation, “OK, I won’t. I’ll just forget I ever heard about it.”
She nodded and turned away, “I have work to do. If you need more books let me know.”
I rushed back to my classroom. After that, the librarian was very cold toward me.
To this day I honestly believe that the reason Mr. D didn’t hire me was because I’m too strong-willed and I have a big mouth…neither fits well into a cult-like structure, which it is very obvious CHS is.
At the semester break, they hadn’t yet hired anyone and asked me to stay for the rest of the year as a long-term sub. Basically, they wanted to pay me sub pay for an entire year of teaching. I told them ‘no way’ and I begged the district and Mr. Principal to let me return to subbing at SHS. I didn’t even care that regular sub pay was less than long-term sub pay. I just wanted out…and it turns out it all worked in my favor because obviously Mr. Principal ended up hiring me for the very job that Mr. D rejected me from and I’m very happy where I am now. And I don’t even have to call Mr. Principal ‘daddy’. Gag! Say what you will about Standard High, but I’ll take it over CHS any day.
OK, I know that was a lot of backstory, but I truly need you to understand why I so vehemently loathe everything about CHS and moreover why even being there gives me a mild case of PTSD.
Alright then, where were we? Oh yeah. Meeting for Graphic Design teachers over at CHS. I was not happy about this because I hate being at CHS of course, but I also hated leaving my students with a sub this close to the end of the year. But, alas, there I was. I walked into the familiar, loathsome halls. Daddy was in the main hall greeting his subjects.
“Mandy? What are you doing here?” he asked as he looked me over. I was in full-school spirit mode. SHS staff shirt and matching school spirit Converse I had custom-made.
“Graphic Design meeting,” I said.
“Oh, you teach Graphic Design now?” he asked.
I nodded, “Yeah, I did so great at fixing their ESL program they gave me my true dream job and now I’m relaunching their graphic design program.” OK, so it was a bit of embellishment, but I wanted him to know that his loss was SHS’s gain.
“Shame…we have an ESL position open here at The Clique,” Mr. D said. That’s how he referred to his campus. Imagine if the school’s name was Blue Mountain High and he called it The Mountain. Yeah…cringey.
“Oh yeah? I heard Patty didn’t stay,” I said. Patty was who they hired instead of me. She ended up retiring after one year at ‘The Clique’.
“Yeah, well we hired Emmy to replace Patty and now she is leaving,” Mr. D said.
“Shame…yeah, I’m still at SHS and quite happy. I heard principals were turning to poaching from other high schools so I’ll save you the trouble. I’m not poachable,” I said, wanting to get away from him.
“You could have your old job in your old room,” Mr. D said in a tone that made me very uneasy.
“I have a perfectly lovely Cave. Besides, my husband works at SHS too and I like being on the same campus as the love of my life,” I said, pointedly.
“If you change your mind, let me know. Enjoy your meeting. Welcome back to The Clique,” Mr. D said as I quickly walked away to find the room Graphic Design was meeting in.
Now, this may come as a surprise to you all, but I am NOT a social creature. Truly. Beatle is my best friend and aside from Cali all my other friends are on the ReddX Discord (hence my desire to not get myself banned over there). And I am 150% ok with that. At that moment I wanted to be in my Cave more than anything. The pressure to be ‘on’ and social was beyond exhausting to me, especially this late in the year. But, always the professional, I mustered every bit of perky in me to be lovely to my other-campus counterparts.
This proved to be a challenge. One of them, more of a Karen than a Beard really, would not shut up about how amazing her campus was and how she never had issues with phones because her kids were so well-behaved. She also said she couldn’t post work early because they would have it done before they ever got to class. Oh, and of course she is teaching graphic design because she needed a break from her real job as an engineer. And oh, did she mention she is an engineer? Because she’s an engineer. She also went on and on about how she didn’t like the curriculum at another campus she was at so she complained and got 68 teachers from all over the country to back her up and they changed the whole curriculum to what she wanted. OK, whatever. I wanted to ask if everyone stood up and cheered too.
Another teacher was just insufferable. She kept asking for the same bloody stuff over and over even after being told it wasn’t in the budget. She didn’t know the cost of any of it, just that everything she wanted (think equipment and software licenses) was expensive and our budget is next to nothing right now. She didn’t even make arguments as to why we needed it. She just kept asking for the same stuff in the same way. All of it was stuff we didn’t need and most of us wouldn’t even use.
I contributed my thoughts on what I felt needed to be added to the curriculum, which was met with agreement. I really only had that one suggestion. The rest of the time I let them do their thing, which was woefully unorganized, disjointed, and overall a waste of time I could be grading papers. And so I decided that while they did their thing I would organize my Google Drive. As I was doing this I noticed something. I was still the owner on ALL the ESL files for SHS. Not just the ones I created…ALL OF THEM. If I were to hit delete SHS would literally have to start from scratch organizing their program with new teachers next year. But Ms. Dean did make clear I was to have nothing to do with ESL anymore. If I deleted the folders was that malicious compliance? Or just being a bitch for the sake of it? I still haven’t decided…I find the situation humorous, in not a bit morally ambiguous.
Ultimately, it was decided that 1 day wasn’t enough for our meeting so we would meet again one week later at the same place. I declined. I needed to be on my campus because I did have actual work to do. Grades would be due the day they wanted to meet. I wasn’t the only one. About half of the graphic design teachers agreed to meet again the following week and we would all be meeting again August 1st. So I get to start my school year back at ‘The Clique’. Lovely.
Yeah, this was a very real reminder that for all the beardery at Standard High, it could be SO much worse.
After that long mammoth of a tale that the last story was, here is a short one for you.
This happened the day after my meeting at CHS. Sonia wanted to end the school year with some team building so she asked Ms. Dean if they could have an off-campus team meeting at a nearby restaurant and grab some food. Ms. Dean told them no. Sonia then decided they would just order takeaway and do the same thing on campus. She reserved a conference room and everything.
So the day of the eat and meet came. Beatle had ordered some enchiladas and was looking forward to a hot meal during the workday. CovidBeard didn’t go because she said she wasn’t feeling well and needed to just go home early. I know that comes as a shock. Meanwhile, ManiBeard decided he would sit next to his bff, Beatle. ManiBeard hadn’t ordered any food because ‘the catering menu looked good, but nothing on the regular menu appealed to me’. What ManiBeard did have, however, was a bag of crackers. As Beatle tried to eat his food, ManiBeard both ate his crackers and talked at the same time. It didn’t take long for Beatle to realize that small bits of cracker crumbs were flying at him and his food. He shifted to the side to dodge the airborne particles that threatened to infect his space. It was here that ManiBeard declared he had signed his contract but still wasn’t sure if he would be back next year because he had until July 3rd to pull out of his contract and he really just didn’t want to make a commitment.
After the meeting, everyone went their own way, except ManiBeard, who cornered Beatle in the mudroom. I was in my Cave waiting for him when I got a text ‘SOS, I’ve been cornered! Mudroom!’
I sighed, “Come on Wee One. We have to go save Dad.”
Wee One chuckled, “Oh no.” She followed me faithfully as we headed downstairs.
“Oh, good, you’re here already. We gotta go Love. Wee One has that thing…see ya later ManiBeard!” I said as I grabbed Beatle’s arm as I passed and just kept walking.
The next day Beatle went into Sonia’s room for inclusion and she smiled at him, “Sure you got all the crumbs off?” she teased.
Beatle rolled his eyes, “Right?!”
Sonia nodded, “ManiBeard is why I don’t eat lunch in the workroom anymore. ManiBeard would walk over to me and just stand over me…like right over me…and talk while he ate which would just send food everywhere. One day he was eating some chicken salad and a piece of chicken flew out of his mouth and landed on my arm.”
“Oh bloody hell. That’s disgusting,” Beatle said before vowing not to be near ManiBeard eating ever again.
- “Little Lies”
Ever since it was announced PastorBeard was the new dept head he had been walking around like a roster puffing out his chest. He had also been going out of his way to talk to Beatle, as if to rub in that he got the dept head job and Beatle didn’t. It was annoying, but I stayed out of it. I even played nice when PastorBeard stopped me in the parking lot one day and asked me about my weekend plans while I was waiting for Beatle.
“What are you plans this weekend, Mandy?” PastorBeard asked as he leaned against the side of my car.
“Oh, nothing major. Weekend chores. Beatle has some school work to get done and he’s going to put some snake repellant in the yard…I’ll probably clean the house and spend some time with my mum,” I said, trying to be pleasant as I could be. What I really wanted to do was to tell him he was a bastard that should never teach, let alone lead a dept.
“You should come to watch me on Sunday. I’m preaching his weekend,” he said with a smile. His tone came off like he intended it to be a flex.
I forced a smiled, “No thanks. Not my thing.”
“God isn’t ‘your thing’?” he asked, leaning towards me a bit.
I took a step back, “Not the same one you believe in.” I started absentmindedly playing with the Flower of Aphrodite pendant I wore around my neck.
“Are you Catholic or something?” he asked.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. People presumed since Beatle was Irish that we were a Catholic family a lot. Instead, I shook my head, “No. Actually, if you must know, I’m Pagan.”
PastorBeard looked taken aback, “Oh…I see.”
“So, while I appreciate the invite…not my thing,” I said again.
“You should come anyway. I’d love to look out on Sunday and see you there. And who knows? If you hear what I have to say you may change your mind about being pagan,” PastorBeard said with a cocky smile.
I looked around hoping Beatle and Wee One were going to be there soon, “I doubt it…anyway…um…I hate to keep you on a Friday.”
“I’m not in a rush. You’re fine,” he said, “Did you hear I’m the new dept head?”
“Yeah. I know,” I said, “Beatle told me. He applied to you know.”
“I know. They need someone that is a strong leader for the job though, someone that can guide the dept the way I guide the church. They can’t pick someone with a weak personality. A man should be able to lead…his church, his work, and of course his wife,” PastorBeard said pointedly.
“Uh huh…a good leader knows when to defer to those wiser than he,” I said as I saw Beatle and Wee One, “Love! Hey!” I waved.
Beatle saw PastorBeard and looked unhappy, “Hi PastorBeard.”
“Have a good weekend you guys. See you later Mandy…think about my offer,” he said as he went and got into his truck that sat on tires far too big for it.
“What was that?” Beatle asked when we got in the car.
I shrugged, “He was either hitting on me or he was just being a pompous arse…or both. Hard to say.”
And we went on our way.
The next work day Beatle walked into the workroom and saw PastorBeard in there talking to Vera (the assistant mentioned in chapter 26.)
“Just do your best to set them up for success,” PastorBeard told Vera as he walked out of the workroom.
“Are you ok mate?” Beatle asked her.
Vera shook her head, “We’re almost done. Almost there.”
“What happened?” Beatle asked.
“Well, only 2 of the kids in that group in the hall workspace need my help,” Vera said pointing to a group outside PastorBeard’s room, “The others are kids missing work and PastorBeard kicked them out of the classroom. I’m supposed to watch them and make sure they behave but they already told me they aren’t going to do anything.”
Beatle’s expression went dark, “You’re a SPED assistant. Not a babysitter.”
“I know, but I’ve never seen him actually help anyone. He doesn’t go around the room to help. Just tells them to be quiet and pokes them. I don’t know why he feels the need to touch them. He tells them if they need help they can go to him and he just sits at his desk the whole time…but no one is gonna go to him for help because they don’t like him,” Vera vented.
Beatle sighed, “You know he’s dept head next year, right?”
“Oh, I know. He told me no one else wanted it,” Vera said sadly.
Beatle blinked, “No ma’am. I interviewed for it.”
“That’s just what I heard,” Vera said.
“He lied,” Beatle shook his head.
What PastorBeard didn’t know is that Beatle had something else in the works…we weren’t sure it would pan out at this point (as of this writing we still aren’t), but Beatle wasn’t going to take PastorBeard’s crap lying down…and for that, I was proud of him.
- “Wrapping It Up”
3.5 days till summer. Grades were due. I sat at my computer to adjust the grade book and turned on some music. Not even kidding, ‘The Final Countdown’ was on the radio (yes, I listen to the radio. Satellite Radio to be precise). It was the perfect music for working on my end-of-year checklist. I felt like I was in a movie and this was my montage music!
We reached the point in the year when all the teachers were just playing movies. For my part, I was letting them watch the Super Mario Movie. I had some happy students. I also wrote Wee One a pass to spend the day in my room. She was done with her work and wanted to help me with some Graphic Design work for next year’s launch (we are launching an on-campus design firm). She asked me which workstation she could work at and I did the worst thing a mum can do to her child. I sat her next to my baby neckbeard. She started working but within 10 minutes she came to my desk.
“Mom…” she started.
I looked at her. “Excuse me?”
She sighed, “I’m sorry…Ms. Mandy?”
“Yes ma’am?” I asked her.
“Can I sit on the other side of the room…it’s less claustrophobic and I have a friend over there…” she trailed off.
I chuckled and leaned in so only she could hear me, “You don’t appreciate sitting next to the baby neckbeard?”
She looked sheepish, “Not really.”
“Can you smell him?” I asked.
She made a disgusted face, “Sort of, yeah.”
“OK, yes, go ahead and move,” I nodded.
In the meantime, Beatle was texting me:
Beatle: Why does ManiBeard always start class with “How are we?” instead of “How are you?”?
Mandy: Because that’s what’s in his programming.
Beatle: LMAO! Point. I will not miss him this summer. You know he said he is only helping with graduation because he didn’t help with either dance. I thought it was mandatory that we do one of the 1 dances.
Mandy: Sigh. 1) yes it is and I bet they got on him and forced him to help with graduation and 2) why the hell would they let him help with graduation? That event is stressful enough without adding ManiBeard to the mix.
Beatle: He said he rather work graduation because it’s his favorite event because he gets to see the kids move on.
Mandy: But he’s a freshman teacher. He doesn’t know many if any, seniors.
Beatle: I know! Oh, CovidBeard is leaving.
Mandy: WHAT?! FOREVER?!
Beatle: I’m watching her class for the rest of the period.
Mandy: Oh, just for today.
Beatle: Yeah. Don’t get too excited.
Mandy: Damn. 3.5 days left. Heaven forbid she stick it out.
And right about the time I was hoping my Beard encounters were over. At least until graduation…it happened. I had to email EnglishBeard. Why? Because I needed one of his students (who happened to be one of my most talented graphic design students) to come to my class the next day during his class. I cringed at having to interact with him. I asked Beatle if I should even bother. “We’re not doing anything, why would he say no?” Beatle asked. “He’s a beard.” I replied. “Fair.” Beatle conceded.
Finally, I took a breath and started to type: “EnglishBeard, if it is alright with you, can Sara come to my class during 5th period tomorrow to do some Graphic Design work? Thanks, Mandy”
2 hours later, he replied, “What work? Why should I send her to an elective? My class is core.”
I sighed, “It’s ok if you are doing something in class. I just thought it would be ok if you are just watching movies.” I replied.
“We are just watching movies, but my class is still a core class and yours is not,” EnglishBeard replied.
“You are correct. However, Sara is going to be in my Graphic 3 class next year and I want to get all my Graphic 3 students together for a meeting before the end of the year and the rest of them are in my 5th period. If you don’t want to send her that is fine,” I replied.
“Ok, that would be fine. I will allow it,” EnglishBeard finally said.
I sighed and wrote a pass to give to Sara.
Meanwhile, in the English 1 meeting, Beatle was dealing with his own Beard.
“And the Beard came back….CovidBeard came back for the meeting,” Beatle texted me.
“WHY?!” I texted back.
“IDK! I’m spraying Lysol when she leaves the room. She’s like ‘I’m sitting here sweating. I have no idea what I have.’ I guess she came back for attention,” Beatle replied.
I sighed as I typed, “Probably.”
Why did all these Beards have to come back? Why couldn’t this be last year when we had the mass exodus of Beards? That was nice. I liked that.
Maybe they would get less beardy over the summer?
- “Graduation Day”
Have you ever sat through a graduation ceremony? If you have you know how dull they are. Being part of it is even worse. Graduation in Australia was quite different, but when I graduated from college in America Beatle practically had to force me into the cap and gown. It was not something I have ever liked…so the irony that I volunteer every year (except next year when Wee One graduates) is not lost on me. Mostly, I do it because I know it means something to the kids to see their teachers there. That said, I silently curse in my head the entire time while making sure to smile, be peppy, and congratulate even the most ungrateful of students. While I don’t look back on my graduation fondly, some of them might and I want to help provide good memories.
Graduation isn’t just on that day either. The day before we have to participate in graduation practice, which is just as awful, if not worse. I did entertain myself by watching ManiBeard however.
We all gathered in the practice gym to line up and then once everyone was in place we processed into the main gym. The practice gym was so bloody hot that I was sweating. It was so bloody hot that ManiBeard actually took off his cardigan for the first time all year. I have now confirmed he does have arms under it. Bloke never takes off his cardigan/coat…even when the outside temp is 100+ in Fahrenheit. I further observed only to realize that they had, for some reason, put ManiBeard in the same row as 2 of the baby beards I’ve been observing over the course of the year. ManiBeard was as clueless as one might expect and had no idea how to manage the kids and telling them when to stand, when to sit, when to walk, etc. He made it through graduation practice, but I was seriously concerned about the next day. I was also concerned because I saw the gown they set aside for Mani. It was huge! He was going to look like a puppy wearing his owner’s sweater. Let the chaos commence!
And commence it did. Shortly after lunch Beatle texted me “OZZY ISN’T COMING BACK! WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON AROUND HERE?!”
Remember Ozzy? The other Australian on campus? Yeah, evidently he said, “this really isn’t something I foresaw happening. It is something I needed to do. But please, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m excited to leave. I’m not. It’s actually been really hard packing up my things.” Ozzy had been around since the campus opened in 2016. It was a true shock to see him leave and Beatle was very distraught over it. Honestly, so was I.
After school Beatle barrelled into his classroom, “OK, mate, what the hell is going on?”
The conversation was private so I’m not going to detail it, but I will say that circumstances happened so that Ozzy had to go back to Australia. He was not happy about it. He said he thought he would retire from Standard High, but life happens. This was a blow, but we wish him the best.
I found out later that night that ManiBeard managed to out-beard himself. He did the beardiest thing he’d ever done.
“Did you guys meet today in E1?” I asked Beatle.
“Yeah, but it was more social than a meeting,” Beatle replied.
“ManiBeard? Social? How did that go?” I asked.
Beatle chuckled, “ManiBeard wasn’t there.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he miscalculated all his grades and had to redo them,” Beatle said.
I froze as I tried to register what he said. Finally I spoke, “But our gradebook is automated. We don’t calculate anything. We put in the number and bam…grades. How the hell did Mani manage to ‘miscalculate’ grades?”
“No idea, but admin wasn’t happy. They sent in Lana to guide him through it,” Beatle said.
I laughed, “Oh my god! After everything he did to keep Lana out of his room she ended up fixing his gradebook? The irony is too delicious! This has got to be the beardiest thing he has ever done. How the fuck do you miscalculate grades in and automated gradebook?!”
Beatle shrugged, “Talent?”
The next morning (THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL) an email started circulating from teachers that were worried about getting left at the arena we were holding graduation in. They wanted to ensure the bus wouldn’t leave them behind. Beatle and I watched as the emails flooded our inboxes. ManiBeard: “I need a ride too.” EnglishBeard: “Don’t leave me behind!” HistoryBeard: “I look like too much of an escaped inmate to safely hitchhike. Don’t leave me either.” MathBeard:I need the bus to get back to school.”
It was at that point I texted my brother to see if he could pick Beatle and I up after graduation. To be clear, we have to ride the bus over with students so taking our own car wasn’t an option…but riding the BeardBus home did not appeal to either of us. I like getting fodder for stories, but I’m not a complete sadomasochist. My brother agreed and I felt relief wash over me.
Beatle and I ended up combining our classes in my Cave for the last day because we bought breakfast tacos and donuts for the kids and it was easier to combine classes than to try to split the food. So, most of the last day was the kids eating and playing Mario Kart on our Switch. It was pretty fun. I did leave the kids with Beatle at one point so I could go down to Cook’s kitchen and do my department check-out stuff. When I say Cook had a professional kitchen that is not hyperbole. The culinary kitchen at Standard High is anything but standard. We’re talking a state-of-the-art kitchen that any head chef would be in awe of. It’s truly a thing to behold and for high school students? Yeah, it is pretty bloody great. Oh, and the cutting boards…let me tell you about the numerous cutting boards!
…I’m kidding Red! Just kidding!
But yeah, the kitchen is pretty great. Anyway, when I went into said kitchen, MediaBeard was in there doing his check-out as well. When he saw me he smiled and turned to me.
“Mandy, thank you so much for everything you did for me this year. It was a rough year and you had my back. I truly appreciate you, thank you,” he said as he hugged me.
I hugged him back, “Aww, mate…I got ya. Anytime. Next year will be better.”
When I said back in Chapter 1 that MediaBeard was certainly a Beard, but one of the ‘good’ beards, this is what I meant. Yes, he can be a bit…well…beardly. But, the bloke has a good heart. And I am glad he will be back next year. I’m going to try to mentor him now that I’m settled in graphic design. I am also glad he will not be Wee One’s teacher next year. She’s decided to take graphic design 3 and animation 1 which means she will have me as her teacher for 3 out of 8 periods. Come to find out she likes me as her teacher. And I’m pretty hard on her. She said I made her better. I must be doing something right!
Cook has 100% become my work Mum and I adore her. She plans to have a department soiree before school starts and for the first time ever I’m actually looking forward to going to a department function, solely because of Cook. She is amazing.
Finally, as long last, the 2022-2023 school year ended. All the non-senior students left and the seniors arrived.
Beatle and I scarfed our lunch down and headed to the gym… this is where graduation truly begins.
I put my gown on over my work clothes as did Beatle. We sat together and chatted for a bit before he went to his row to help organize kids. I was left sitting alone in my row as the students filed in. And, as I usually do in these situations, I started to observe my surroundings and live a bit in my own head.
I saw some teachers grouped up talking and laughing near me. For a moment I felt that loneliness I felt all through school (until I met Beatle). I had a moment of feeling like that ‘weird blonde kid’ again. I guess it never really goes away. It was a reminder that from the day we met (see SquirrelBeard for that story) Beatle has always been where I fit. Does anyone else ever have a moment of reversion like that? Where even as an adult you remember how it was to be an outcast at 15 or whatever? Maybe it’s just me? Maybe it’s because I work in a high school?
In any case, I snapped out of it and looked around. What caught my eye was a pair of BRIGHT crimson skinny jeans. And the wearer? ManiBeard. OF COURSE!
He also had on a plain white t-shirt with the district logo on it that we got free at the start of the year and Van trainers. What was the dress code for this event that admin had explicitly given us the day before? Dress pants and a Polo or button-up for men or a suit for men, a dress or nice pants and shirt for women, dress shoes, and absolutely no jeans, trainers, or t-shirts. Yeah. For J’s part he had on black pants and a black button-up shirt with a tie. He looked good. It was also the first time he got to wear his Master’s hood at a graduation, which was pretty frickin cool too! I had on black pants and a nice shirt. I was not wearing a dress at graduation. Just, no. Anyway…ManiBeard…right…so he wore EXACTLY what admin said don’t wear. Cause…ManiBeard. And I was right, his gown made him look like a puppy wearing his owner’s sweater. It would have been cute if it was anyone but Mani. Instead he just looked robotic and lost. And, exactly like I suspected, he didn’t talk to any of the kids. He didn’t even congratulate them. Probably because he teachers 9th graders and didn’t know any of these kids and had no connection to them. Beatle knew a lot of them. These were the kids that he taught his first year as freshmen so he had seen them through all 4 years. It was emotional for him.
It was around this time I turned around and noticed paramedics in the hall. I later found out a student (one of mine actually) had a seizure. I had seen them roll a kid out of the building on an office chair but I didn’t know who under Mr. Principal told me later. As all of this was happening APBeard said they put a sign up sheet on the stage for any teacher that needed to take the bus back to campus after the ceremony. A bunch of teachers headed to the stage. One that looked like a textbook beard said, as he walked past me, “that would be all of us. Like any of us can afford an Uber with what they pay us.” I raised an eyebrow and looked the man over. “That has GOT to be HistoryBeard” I thought to myself. Beatle ran up behind me.
“See that bloke up there…the one at the sign up sheet right now?” Beatle asked me quietly.
“Yeah,” I said.
“That’s HistoryBeard,” he confirmed.
“I knew it! I knew that had to be him. Damn, he is a beard and it’s not even just on the inside,” I said.
Beatle shook his head, “No, he’s one that is beard inside and out.”
I shuttered as Beatle returned to his seat.
About 45 minutes later we boarded the bus and headed to the arena. I hoped everything would be smooth sailing from there, but that would have been WAY too easy.
So, I need to paint a bit of a picture here…have you ever been backstage at an arena? It’s not a huge space…and when you put a couple hundred people back there…it’s a tight fit. We were lucky to have a 2 inch radius around us. Personal space does not exist when you cram everyone back there. And we had to line up in order. Each row had a letter. It seemed everything was fine. My row was in order…but something felt off. That’s when I realized whoever set the signs up doesn’t know the bloody alphabet because instead of A, B, C, D, E, F, G it went A, B, C, D, E, G, F. I was in row F. I realized the error but I also wasn’t about to move anything without telling an AP. So I found an AP that said he had to find another AP and 3 APs later I was told to swap Rows F and G. I helped correct the signed and then we had to shift the rows with VERY little space. It was…something.
It was hot, cramped, and miserable. Beatle told me later some of the kids in his row snuck back into a supply room and were stealing popcorn. It was in the moments of being back stage I remembered why last year I said to myself ‘never again, I’m never doing graduation again’. I’m really not next year cause of Wee One and I’ll probably forget the year after and volunteer again. Cause teacher brain. Anyway, it was finally go time and we walked out, sat down, and the ceremony started. All done? Not quite.
For the sake of wrapping this up I’ll quickly list the crap that happened during the ceremony:
- Someone in the stands called to a kid ‘you look like ET but we love you anyway!’ to which a graduate yelled back ‘you’re an asshole’. Classy.
- ManiBeard was clueless and lost. He may as well have not even been there because he was mostly just in the way.
- The boys decided it was great fun to pretend to fall on stage just before the got to Mr. Principal. This happened 4 times. A 5th pretended he was about to fall then twerked instead. Again, classy. Ladies and gentleman, our future.
- A boy in the row in front of me turned around and was using his program to sword fight with a boy in my row. I gave them the ‘mom/teacher look’ and they both got a panicked look and said ‘sorry ma’am’ before sitting straight for the rest of the ceremony. Maybe Wee One is right. Maybe I am scary.
- MediaBeard made the senior video and it was awful. I have a hard time believing he worked ‘in the industry’. Next year I’m going to see if he will let me do some graphic design templates for him. It will be part of my proposal to mentor him.
And then graduation was over. Beatle and I checked with Number One and were cleared to leave. Brother picked us up and we headed to dinner (where Brother once again came very close to getting the name BrotherBeard) and summer began.
And that concludes this year of School of Beards. If there is any demand I will be back in the fall because with all the beards returning I am sure to have a new batch of tales. I sincerely want to thank everyone that had come on this journey with me, Red for reading (and being a mate), and Beatle for supporting me and allowing me to share his stories. I mostly want to thank everyone that has listened to Red read these stories because that is the most amazing thing…hearing these stories read and getting his insight. I do appreciate it more than I can say. Keep an eye out for the rest of BowserBeard this summer and maybe a couple of one-offs.
Now, to end this year I decided to try my hand at my first parody song. Apologies if it’s not very good. Like I said, it’s my first one. I hope it doesn’t suck!
“BeardSchool’s Out” (Parody of “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper)
Well, we got no choice
But to hear the noise
Listenin to the beards’ voice
The poor girls and boys
Well, we can't escape ya
Can't find an out
And when they start to shout
Education’s in doubt
BeardSchool's out for summer
Beards go into slumber
Beardschool makes us shutter
No more Mani
No more English
No more preacher's judgment, yeah
Well, Mani can’t control his class
And Pastor’s got the Principal
And the students pay the price
We can't even think about next year
BeardSchool's out for summer
Beards go into slumber
Beardschool makes us shutter
No more Media
No more Math Emails
No more two-faced Dean
Out for summer
Out 'til fall
Do the beards have to come back at all
Beards go slumber
BeardSchool's out for summer
Watch the Beards lumber
BeardSchool’s out till August
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2023.05.28 20:40 eulalie_pop Logan made Succession a circle, not a line, and we're about to watch it end where it began
So I’ve been down the rabbit hole
, trying to chase every off-the-cuff reference, stray allegory, allusion, comparison, and tangent. I’m going to need you to bear (hug) with me for a bit because I think I’ve stumbled on some truly insane parallels between this show and the myriad of references it makes and it will take a lot of text to justify to you that I'm not crazy (or that I am, but at least I do my research).
This is a show that employs a ton of intertextuality and what the poet T.S. Eliot (someone quoted frequently throughout the series) calls “the mythic method”: essentially using historical, literary, and mythological allusions to draw parallels between characters on the show and characters throughout history (real and imagined).
This method helps the audience to build both conscious and unconscious associations with each of the characters and, ultimately, underscores the Roys’ (and humanity’s) damning commitment to making the same mistakes over and over again. The show seems to draw a lot from Greek mythology, Arthurian legend, biblical parables, Shakespearean tragedy, and modernist poetry (among many other things).
These networks of symbolism span from the earliest recorded history to modern celebrity culture and yet they reveal frighteningly unchanged elements in the stories they tell. The parallels of these references throughout the show serve to highlight the cyclical (the illusion of progress) and deterministic (the illusion of free will) nature of existence.
While I will be dipping in and out of the existing references, I want to call particular attention to the poetry of the aforementioned T.S. Eliot (who champions the mythic method) and John Berryman’s poem Dream Song 29
because I believe much of their work has served as a foundation for characters.
In the show, Frank makes mention of his poem “The Long Song Of J Alfred Prufrock” more than once. Outside of the show, Matthew McFayden (the actor who plays Tom) references the same poem to describe his character. Jeremy Strong (the actor who plays Kendall) says Eliot’s work The Four Quartets
is a huge inspiration to his acting and character. A line from this particular work did strike me as being quite on the nose, which is why I continued to comb the poem for more (which it does deliver on):
"In my beginning is my end. In succession Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended, Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place Is an open field, or a factory, or a by-pass. Old stone to new building, old timber to new fires, Old fires to ashes, and ashes to the earth Which is already flesh, fur and faeces, Bone of man and beast, cornstalk and leaf."
This will probably be a monster of a post, so I will attempt to break down the following sections between poetic parallels, visual and dialogic symbolism of eternal recurrence, and an exploration of the historical and mythological allusions. Ultimately, I believe all of these clues point to the overwhelming conclusion that we will end where we began, in some way or another. Circles & Cycles: Endless Recurrence & The Futility Of Progress
The show toys a lot with the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence, which postulates that “time repeats itself in an infinite loop, and that exactly the same events will continue to occur in exactly the same way, over and over again, for eternity.”
These eternal loops are symbolized visually with mirrors, water, fractal reflections; in the “uh-huh” and “mhmms” of repeated, near-palindromic dialogue; and in the show events that echo and repeat: in-air death scares, asynchronous business deals, family betrayal, weddings, retreats, implosions, family reunions, trauma bonding, baptism, funerals, etc.
In this understanding of time, there is no linear progress — or even progress at all. Time is cyclical. People are cyclical. As are the events that transpire. This is particularly interesting in a show like Succession whose title alone implies the phrase “line of succession.” Viewers would expect to see what comes next — who comes next — but as Logan himself yells, “Nothing is a line. Everything is moving all the time.”
Logan consistently evokes the circle shape in his speech, “Put a circle around him” he tells Shiv. “We’ve been circling for an hour, tell them we’re out of gas,” he complains in a moment of grim foreshadowing on his plane. “Crawl in a circle and close your eyes,” he shouts during the game of Boar on the Floor.
And he is the bright, burning nebulous center of this circle. He’s described as “carr[ying] his gravity. He's not a man, he's a f*cking planet.” And the people around him are described like satellites and moons. Characters exist in his orbit. And every complete orbit (or “revolution”) leaves characters in exactly the same place. There are motions, there is the illusion of progress, but the result is the same. Eliot again:
“every attempt Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure”
With this understanding, the show may just end where it begins. Not only in “nothing” happening, but in repeating the same events ad infinitum
: A kid tries to take over the family business, they try to align with their siblings, they eventually backstab their siblings, they end out in the cold, and then they reunite, swear not to do it again, until it all repeats.
As most of us are aware, the show has made very direct mention of the John Berryman poem Dream Song 29
. The names of the past three season finales (as well as the name of the upcoming fourth) are all direct excerpts from the poem, which deals with grief and sadness and the guilt of killing someone when you can’t even confirm there’s been someone killed at all.
Berryman consistently wrote about the guilt and grief he experienced from his father’s suicide. Berryman himself would eventually end up taking his own life, which on its own is a brutal reminder of the cycles of trauma. It also doesn’t feel insignificant that Berryman jumped off a bridge.
What’s really interesting is how each subsequent finale is named for a line that comes earlier and earlier in the poem. It also toys with this concept that things come full circle and end where they begin. This echoes Eliot’s essential thesis of the poem:
“What we call the beginning is often the end And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”
But while the speaker of the poem comes to realize he has not murdered “nobody” by the poem’s last line; Kendall, moving through the poem backward, must reckon with the idea that he may have killed somebody even if they were a “nobody.” And while we may encounter this as a moment in which Kendall is genuinely despairing over his season 1 inadvertent murder, I believe we are far more likely to see Kendall embrace this moment.
We see "nobody" and "no one mentioned" a lot when it comes to Logan, who believes most people are "fungible as f*ck," and "pygmies" while he's "1,000 feet tall." When Kendall is involved in the accident, we see him echo "NRPI" or no real person involved.
The reason Kendall couldn’t live up to his father’s expectations is that he couldn’t be the killer his father needed him to be (even if his morality or basis of being a good person is off). This retroactive movement through the poem could be Kendall realizing he is, in fact, the killer his father always needed him to be, enabling him to take the necessary steps of seizing the crown on his own. Allegories & Allusions: Mythic Comparisons & Determinism
It’s Shakespearean, like Roman says, “I kill Kendall, get crowned king, like we’re in f*cking Hamlet or something.” But it’s not just Hamlet
, it’s King Lear, King Richard III
. And it’s not just Shakespeare, it’s Oedipus Rex
, The Odyssey
, The Waste Land
, Thus Spoke Zarathustra
, Cronus devouring his children, Romulus killing Remus, Noah cursing his child for looking upon him naked.
The concept of the monomyth was popularized in "The Hero With 1000 Faces" and discusses throughout history, throughout different times and places, different cultures, different religions, different people have developed stories with relatively similar fundamental elements. The show is rife with allusions of stories that follow that same thread. Logan is Cronus who is King Lear who is Romulus who is who is. This is another form of endless recurrence: the inability to break the cycle. Or, in a very Hamlet reference, "maybe the poison drips through."
The themes of patricide, fratricide, and incest in particular are rampant. Rhea (like Rhea Jarell) in Greek mythology is both sister and consort to Cronus. Both are part of the first generation of aptly named Titan gods. Cronus overthrew his father Uranus and learns his children are fated to overthrow him. So he eats them as soon as they are born. Logan does refer to people as food a surprising amount throughout the show, varying from red meat to vegetables. He outright calls for blood sacrifice, which evokes the language of the gods.
Logan is referenced specifically as one of the last real American titans in his obituaries and eulogies. The language around him is frequently god-like. He's known as "the big man" or even "the big man upstairs." Tom tells Greg to "be his representative here on earth"; Roman asks the audience, "who is going to climb Mt. Olympus and be the next Dr. Zeus?" And that's where the myth gets interesting.
The only child not to be eaten is Zeus, who does end up killing his father and was surprisingly interested in marrying his mother. We're familiar with this plot formula through a different archetype: the Oedipus Complex, which we see referenced in the show with “Oedipus Roy,” “Oedipussy,” and “stabbing my eyes out.” The same story is repeated again in Hamlet with brother killing and brother and son yelling at his mother about her milky breasts (something Roman does to Shiv more than once). In the show when Logan says to Roman, “You may want to f*ck your mother but I don’t.” We know none of these stories end well. As Connor muses, “It’s not right to kill one’s father; history teaches us that.”
In the story of Romulus and Remus (whose mother’s name is also Rhea), the two brothers were initially chased out of their city as potential threats to the King (yet again). They were left by the river to die and were saved by the river god (important). After successfully overthrowing the kingdom that left them for dead, they agree to found a new city. They ultimately disagreed on which hill to found it and decided to have a bird-watching competition to see who could see the most omens indicating they had divine approval for the hill. Remus says he saw 6 auspicious birds but Romulus claims to see 12. Romulus kills Remus over this.
It should remind you of Logan visiting his childhood home with Ewan: “I saw a mistle thrush at the bandstand,” and the log book he kept as a child of birds he “saw” that Ewan would cross out if he didn’t believe him. It may also echo a part of The Four Quartets
, “Other echoes/ Inhabit the garden. Shall we follow?/ Quick, said the bird, find them, find them,/ Round the corner. Through the first gate,/ Into our first world, shall we follow/ The deception of the thrush?"
There is much to be said about the themes of warring brothers. Also the themes of fathers worried their children would one day overthrow them who take action to thwart or murder their children, which inadvertently sets into motion the very outcome they fear. It happens over and over again in stories old and new. As Panhandle Pete says, “I push him, he pushes me, and around and around we go.” Or as Eliot puts it, “that the wheel may turn and still / Be forever still.”
Much of these works touch on a sort of determinism, or the slow crushing reality that every action you take — even if that action is an attempt to thwart your fate — will ultimately lead to the same inevitable ending. This is the illusion of free will on top of the illusion of progress. And Logan, in fearing his children would usurp him (and also disparaging his children for not being able to), set into motion his own death and his own messy succession.
It’s also a reminder that the greatest men in life are all the same when laid to rest:
"O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark, The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant, The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters, The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers, Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees, Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark…" Structure & Symbolism: Water As Rebirth & Destruction
The show has very much been structured around Kendall, and we watch him move through bodies of water with what feels like different symbolism each time. Is he drowning, is he reborn? We witness Kendall at his lowest point face down in a pool and at one of his highest, splashing into the Pacific ocean. We watch a man drown. We watch Logan beg Kendall for water as they walk through Adrien Brody’s maze. We watch Roman clamor for water at the funeral when he needs to calm down. Poetry has long played with this life and death dynamic in water, like the sailors dying of thirst in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
“Water, water, every where,. And all the boards did shrink;. Water, water, every where,. Nor any drop to drink. The very deep did rot: O Christ!”
This sub has noted Kendall’s connection to water, which has been represented over and over visually. But once you realize every metaphor, analogy, and simile he uses is water-based, you can’t unhear it. He calls his father “a tsunami of corruption” and describes things “as more precious than water”; he calls deals “choppy” and “dead in the water,” and asks to “help steady the ship”; he offers to “row back” on business deals, says timing is “high tide,” and that he has “bigger fish to fry.”
Logan is apt to use similar water symbolism, even telling Shiv that she’s marrying a man “fathoms” beneath her. As Rhea tells him, fearful of his own monstrosity, “I can’t see the bottom of the pool. I don’t know if you care about anything. It scares me.” ATN’s major scandal was “death cruises.” Even his operating nemesis is called “Sandy.”
In fact, there is mention of all elements and seasons — in particular, fire from Shiv, air from Roman, and earth from Connor. T.S. Eliot’s The Four Quartets
confront these same themes and share some surprising similarities with show scene locations, dialogue, and plot points.
That’s because Succession
is an allegory for the micro and the macro: the rise and fall of families, civilizations, monarchies, dynasties, and empires. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, the cycles rinse and repeat. Eliot modeled the four quartets on the 4 elements and the 4 seasons. And you can see even in Succession a similar manifestation of 4 elements. And, well, 4 seasons of the show. (And what occurs after 4 seasons? A full revolution around the sun, bringing you to where you began.)
Water seems to be at the root of it all. Even Ewan’s eulogy meditates on his and Logan’s journey on a boat. Even their abusive uncle is named Noah. In the show, we watch our nobody die by water, we watch our main character nearly die by water, and then we watch him revive in the ocean. As Kendall and his father wind their way through Adrien Brody’s circuitous Long Island home, Kendall remarks, “I think this leads to the ocean.” Because every path leads to the sea in some way or another.
The overarching narration from T.S. Eliot’s The Waste Land
is the Arthurian Legend of The Fisher King. This story is told a million different ways with a million different outcomes, but always boils down to an injured or maimed monarch ruling over a dying land. Or as Ewan refers to his "empire of shit": “He’s built a wasteland and called it an empire.”
He’s looking for someone, anyone, to heal him, rescue the kingdom, and ensure the dynasty survives. This is the myth of the holy grail, which, in this show, can be seen as the throne: The original stories of the holy grail were not Christian/religious but they do employ a lot of the same mythmaking from earlier religions and mythologies to tell their stories and thus construct their new realties. As Eliot says in The Four Quartets
"The whole earth is our hospital Endowed by the ruined millionaire, Wherein, if we do well, we shall Die of the absolute paternal care That will not leave us, but prevents us everywhere."
I believe Kendall (and the other children) represent the grail knights who try to save the king. (On the same level they stand in for the gods, the elements, or anything at all). When Christianity became more popular, these myths adapted to Christian overtones, but they still had the Celtic and pagan myths at their core: the grail becomes the chalice from the last supper.
That’s why Kendall’s easy comparisons of himself to Jesus feel less blasphemous than revelatory. Jesus is another hero archetype in the show’s mythology. He is willing to sacrifice himself, which Kendall must do in order to become the successor his father wanted. As he says, "this is a culmination of my life's journey to be crucified for you morons."
(It’s worth noting: In some legends, the knight saves the king; in others, he inadvertently destroys him. We know Logan dies, but it does feel less likely that Waystar Royco survives.) Drowning is a constant feature of Eliot's poems, but so is baptism and renewed life. It is difficult to determine the meaning of water in either instance, except that it doesn't discriminate as a life or death bringer, which is both beautiful and terrifying. Parallels & Predictions: Piecing The Plot & Poetry Together
To repeat again, as this show is wont to do: “Crawl in a circle and close your eyes!” Logan Roy shouts during a game of Boar On A Floor. It’s an allegory, like many games on the series, and proudly says the quiet part out loud: Logan always wins. Here’s a little boar on the floor reference in The Four Quartets:
"We move above the moving tree In light upon the figured leaf And hear upon the sodden floor Below, the boarhound and the boar Pursue their pattern as before But reconciled among the stars."
We’ve seen the L.O.G.A.N. system at work many times and with many people. He dangles a carrot, a morsel of love, as each character attempts to play the game over and over while expecting different results. They are doomed to crawl in that circle, to play that blind game, as Logan angrily shouts, “It’s fun!” And this game doesn't end in death. The children still ask. "What would dad do?"
Games on Succession (which are a consistent refrain), it turns out, are rarely fun and are often designed to humiliate or inflict pain. The same goes when characters say “I’m just kidding” after an eviscerating remark. Logan thinks life is a game, and as he says, games should be taken seriously. And because Logan explicitly makes the rules, there is no winning, just trudging around the board, passing Go, and collecting $200. The games are essentially Sisyphean tasks that the kids wouldn’t be able to win even if they were actually competent enough to run the company. And yet they keep rolling the boulder. It’s endless. The repetition. It ends where it begins.
"Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning, Every poem an epitaph. And any action Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start. We die with the dying: See, they depart, and we go with them. We are born with the dead: See, they return, and bring us with them. The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree Are of equal duration. A people without history Is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern Of timeless moments."
Please also note the use of “the rose” and “the yew tree,” which are the names of Logan’s siblings Rose and Ewan, which derives from yew-tree. Other important name comparisons include Kendall’s association to spring/river valley; Siobhan’s nickname either a knife (Shiv) or Pinky (a variation of the name Rose); Roman’s connection to Romulus/Corialanus; Tom’s name meaning “twin” because there was already someone named Judas in the bible HELLO; Logan’s name meaning little hollow, which recalls another Eliot poem, The Hollow Men
We know this show is a game, one that isn't fun at all, and one whose rules Logan made up. Even when there's a winner, there's no winner. So it's almost futile to play at all. That said, it’s impossible to make sense of any of it all without the ending — to confirm this ball has been rolling toward an inevitable conclusion, but given the show’s ending has probably occurred already, here are my thoughts:
This may feel a bit on the nose given we’ve already seen this almost happen to “the Kurt Cobain of floaties,” but it would certainly be poetic. This could be sad (launched from a bridge); empowering (a la The Awakening
); or metaphorical (a drug overdose). At some point Kendall says, "If dad didn’t need me right now I wouldn’t know what I would be for." The kids exist with Logan as their sun; they are moons, satellites, in orbit. And when their sun dies out, they repeat the motions in the cold, slowly losing their patterns and motions. The term is science is a rogue planet and the following lines from the poem remind me of Kendall and his broken, hollow stare.
“It would be the same at the end of the journey, If you came at night like a broken king, If you came by day not knowing what you came for, It would be the same, when you leave the rough road And turn behind the pig-sty to the dull facade And the tombstone. And what you thought you came for Is only a shell, a husk of meaning From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled If at all. Either you had no purpose Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured And is altered in fulfilment.”
- Kendall is king of the ashes
Any victory feels like it will be a Pyrrhic victory regardless when you've had to systematically take down everyone you love to achieve it. The same lines above can echo here "the purpose is beyond the end you figured/And is altered in fulfilment." A hollow victory. The Fisher King question Logan poses is, "Who can replace me?" Logan wanted each of his children to display the killer instinct. Kendall’s backwards journey through Dreamsong 29
may very well see him realize he is, in fact, the killer his dad always wanted — with open eyes. This will probably involve taking down his siblings. In this version, winning is a lot like losing, which feels very Succession
These Shakespearean histories and tragedies rarely end well for existing houses. With Richard III
(the-multiple-lineage-ending war of the roses) and Hamlet
(the-whole-house-dies-but-a-norwegian-king-swoops-in-to-take-it-all dynastic struggle) references abound. We may just see a new house rise up and rinse and repeat. This would probably also occur if the kids take each other down and leave it open for another party. We saw last season that Roman thought he had an in with Mattson until it didn’t serve Mattson anymore. I see the same thing happening between Roman and Mencken. This puts Mencken and Mattson in a position to take over, which may make Mattson win it or…
When Mattson is introduced, he is referenced as a trickster. Generally, in mythology, this character is quite intelligent or in possession of secret knowledge, and he uses it for trickery and commandeering situations. (Is that blood thing real???). Hamlet
concludes with every major character killing the other with their own tragic flaws until a third party Scandinavian comes in to take the crown with no necessary action or bloodshed at all. We already know he's unscrupulous; what is his end game? It reminds me of one of his early lines to Roman, which would be an eerie foreshadowing:
“Success doesn’t really interest me anymore, it’s too easy. Analysis + capital + execution. Fucking, anyone can do that. But failure, that’s a secret. Just as much failure as possible as fast as possible, burn that shit out, that’s interesting.”
We’ve seen it happen before (which is why it should happen again). We’ve also seen Tom remove the thin veneer of his ambitions to the point where he almost feels like Richard III. He has played the fool, which is Shakespearean estimation, is often equivalent to the trickster. This would be a fun and distorted parallel to Shiv offering this job to him for Logan to offer it to her. This would probably happen in conjunction with Mattson winning. As I mentioned earlier, the name Tom means “twin” and the apostle Tom was only called as such because there were already one too many “Judas” in the mix. He's also from Minnesota (the twin cities!), so this is becoming very real, you know???
While we know Tom has betrayed Shiv before, we also know Greg betrayed Shiv and Tom when he spoke to Geri in the first season about Tom having a press conference on cruises. He leads Tom to believe Shiv has betrayed him, getting one over on both of them. There may also be something with the Rule of 3 and being betrayed 3 times that feels biblical. The show also makes TONS of references to holding on to blackmail for opportune moments. Will we see something like this?
I’m not a big believer that Greg will fail so far upwards that he will win (this would feel like a betrayal in its own right), but do I believe there’s a world where Greg gets himself on a piece of paper with a question mark. Maybe???
This is my personal hope because I want the Tom and Jerry allusion to be real more than any other I put together (we love a good cat and mouse game). If Mattson wins, he needs a US CEO. Geri has collected a massive amount of dirt on everyone. And to call back to season 1’s interim CEO discussions, Shiv says, “I don’t like Geri. But I don’t hate Geri either.” It would feel particularly good given how much time and effort Logan spent clarifying Geri would be terrible at the position. Especially as Logan disparaging someone generally means he’s afraid of what they can do.
I’ll end at the ending. Or conclude where Eliot did on The Four Quartets:
"We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flames are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one."
PS. Given ‘Pinky’ is another name for ‘Rose’ does this mean Shiv wins??? JK let’s just watch the show tonight and laugh at our predictions in the morning.
submitted by eulalie_pop
to SuccessionTV [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:40 Barn_Brat Every other period is painful
Hi all! I’ve just found this sub and realised it’s the perfect place to ask my question.
My period is pretty regular but every other one is incredibly painful. January, March and May have been horrifically painful to the point of being sick but February and April have been fine. This started after having my son June 2022 and when my period came back (August) meaning my September one was the first one that was this painful.
My doctor seems to have brushed it off but it’s really disruptive to my life. Thank you in advance
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to Periods [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:39 FariasWheel FS; $170 BMWT
2023.05.28 20:35 Necessary_Ship_3202 Why is VBONE a $50B coin?
Before you disregard this idea, read my thesis.
Vitalik's huge dong +
(Unique and hilarious + Proven meme)
Vitalik with a huge dong is the ultimate power symbol. Vitalik created programmable money so he's a giga nerd = Star Trek captured. He is a billionaire so business and money chasers = captured. He's a humanitarian so granola and WEF = captured. He's autistic so Rainman enthusiasts = captured. Lastly, and most importantly, his giant trouser snake makes him the ultimate Chad. All other crypto bros are beta. Vitalik has it all. Add the fact that Dog coins are the only memes that have cracked the top 10 in market cap and there’s no need to say more.
The Team and origin story
A group of previous collaborators in the crypto space that include a full stack dev, two professional marketing consultants and a VC decided in the summer of 2022 that the ultimate MEMEcoin should be created. It wasn’t until a picture circulated around Twitter depicting Vitalik Buterin with a huge bulge in his pants did the inspiration for the theme arrive. VBONE was born!
VBONE is a DEFLATIONARY reward token. VBONE has no buy tax and a 10% sell tax. All of the sell tax is reflected as VBONE back to all VBONE holder wallets. This process happens automatically inside of your wallet. You never have to claim these rewards. This tax is also reflected to a burn wallet that contains 42% of the VBONE supply. Note that they also sent Vitalik.eth 0.69696969% of the total supply. These burned tokens can never be retrieved so all reflected tokens there are permanently lost. This means that the total VBONE supply decreases over time making VBONE deflationary. Thus, VBONE is a deflationary reward token that grows right in your own pocket. Of course, just as importantly, VBONE is all about Vitalik’s huge Johnson rod.
Ethereum fees are unsustainable. At $5 to send an erc20 token and $50 to trade on a dex, Ethereum is unusable for most people looking to enter a coin. The next bullrun will result in $80 erc20 transfer costs and $1000 to swap on a dex. VBONE is on Binance Smart Chain (BSC) which is cheap and fast. It's easy to onboard as evidenced by this being the second largest layer 1 blockchain. BSC coins, including memecoins like Baby Doge, pumped in 2021 as Ethereum became prohibitively expensive. I expect an even stronger trend in the next bull market. VBONE is also bridging to Shiba Inu's new layer 1 blockchain (Shibarium). This is a smart play to access a hyped event and a well-aligned, very large (1.3M+) community of potential VBONE holders.
The VBONE smart contract is public and certified on BSC scan. The code is audited by a leading audit company (Tech Audit). In addition, the admin keys are burned/ownership of the smart contract is renounced so the contract can never be changed. VBONE was launched on a Pinksale fair launch so that anyone could join and contribute. The Lp was locked by Pinksale automatically for 274 years at the end of the fair launch. The team also locked all team tokens on Unicrypt according to a vesting schedule (3,6,9,12 months). Importantly, the team also hired 24/7 telegram mods on day 1.
VBONE has the best website (vbone.io) that I've ever seen. This includes non-crypto. This should give you confidence in their competency since they have such weight to the most publicly facing aspect of VBONE. The memes are also the best and most numerous I've ever seen. They serve as fuel for engagement within the community and as tools for recruitment for members outside of the community. Efforts have involved sponsored tweets from large influencer accounts (250k-700k followers), 4chan/biz banner ads, ads on Telegram Raid bot posts, shill contests but the master stroke thus far has been a Binance Live AMA hosted by Cryptotrails (90k+ TikTok followers). A Binance Live AMA hosted by a large influencer on the Binance app itself is typically something that is only observed for hyped projects with large raises. This shows that this team is CONNECTED with major players and will swing for the fences. VBONE marketing is financed from two sources: initial marketing funds raised during the Pinksale fair launch as well as the ecosystem wallet that receives sell reflection tax like all wallets do and thus will grow. Additionally, VBONE has the most polished, aesthetic and professional whitepaper that I've read in a long time.
There is no formal roadmap. However, the team regularly gives updates ongoing activities in their Telegram group and Tweets from the official VBONE twitter account daily. The team says that this is a marketing project and that marketing opportunities are fluid and change enough to preclude a strict format. The team has shown that they are spending big resources to attract KOLs and super active accounts from other projects. These valuable members are seeds for recruiting dozens of new members and accelerating the network effects of growth. The team is also reaching out to other projects to collaborate or barter in order to gain access to value outside of the VBONE team’s own expertise. One such example is their recent partnership with noiseGPT. They reached out to noiseGPT to seek their assistance in creating a custom celebrity AI-generated voice for their meme needs (guess who?). Subsequently, the VBONE team has also hinted at another partnership. These partnerships are real boons to expanding VBONE’s influence and community beyond what they can accomplish alone. How do you attract the eyes of your target audience? This is crypto so give out your coin as a marketing device. That’s why the VBONE team is setting up a claim drop for Shib holders. Don’t worry if you hold VBONE, the total claim is only for 0.1% (100B) of the VBONE supply.
Take home message:
I’m loading my VBONE bags because this is going to melt faces.
submitted by Necessary_Ship_3202
to u/Necessary_Ship_3202 [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:34 britishpunk149 I found out my ex boyfriend emotionally cheated on me during our relationship in the most hurtful way
I (18f) started dating my ex boyfriend (18m) in February of 2022. It was always a fun time when we hung out, and we shared the fact that this was our first serious real relationship. For a bit of backstory, in the past i have struggled a lot with my mental health, and different disorders but went to counseling to deal with it. I used to be extremely irritable and negative all the time but the therapy really helped. It makes me proud to know that I'm a more positive person now and i have grown. But this is where the issues started to show themselves within this relationship. He was the sweetest guy ever, he had this cat that he just adored and it melted my heart, within about 7 months though the sweet mask started to slip. He had done some things at the start of our relationship that got him expelled, and led to me having to miss 2 weeks of school due to the fact that everyone in the bathrooms was calling me terrible names. The thing is, i had nothing to do with what he did, it was all him and i was just dragged into it because i was his girlfriend. He didn't apologize about this until i asked if he even felt bad months later. He honestly didn't see anything wrong with what he did or how it affected me. At our 7th month mark he told me that if we had never started dating he would've killed himself. This was also around the time that the complaining started. He would complain about everything. If we had to walk somewhere, he would start complaining about how much he hated walking. If it was hot out he was complaining about global warming. If it was cold, he would start going on about how we have the worst climate. You get the point. At this exact point though, he was essentially love bombing me. He would tell me how he wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. How he loved me so much. How he would never fall out of love with me and how i was the only girl he would ever love. It was nice to hear those things, i won't lie, but god it was almost sickening. I actually was thinking about breaking up with him sooner than i did, but i thought we could make it work, and after his comment about killing himself, i got worried that if i did break up with him, he would end his life. I stuck with it. It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that we broke up. Things weren't working and i just couldn't allow myself to be that emotionally drained. We did remain friends. He was really upset when we first broke up, but told me he was over it. He is a huge pothead, but always swore he would never do anything that wasn't from the earth, so nothing but shrooms or pot. Even then in the whole time that I've known him, he has only ever smoked pot and nothing else. Yesterday i was at work and he texted me, but there was nothing i could put together in the sentence. It was just words, and i started to get a bit worried. I asked him if everything was okay and he said he was fine. but it continued for another 20 minutes then stopped. I got off work at 4 and headed over to a little family gathering to celebrate my uncle's birthday, he passed 3 years ago. While i was there, my ex called me but as i was with my family i simply declined it as i was enjoying myself and thought everything was fine. When i got to the car with my brother and bestfriend i checked my phone. I had 30 texts from him and some were from his mom asking me what kind of drugs he had taken. My stomach dropped. I rushed my brother home then went to his house to see what was going on. His mom had taken him to the hospital and i told her that he always said he would never do anything other than pot. I started ripping through his room to try and find what he had taken, because we weren't dating, but i still loved him. I really do still. He was the sweetest guy. As soon as i found a dime bag with some playboy bunnies on the outside i knew it wasn't just pot. I instantly texted his mom about the bag and said i would try to find out what was in it. He had left his phone on the bed, and i still knew his password and so i logged in and started searching. We have always been very trusting, during our relationship we had no issue with us going on each others phones. At this point the tears were flowing. This was a guy who i had just broken up with not even 2 weeks ago, and here i was trying to figure out if he had taken something that could've been laced, or something that could kill him. In our area there is so many people who die just due to their shit being laced. So I started trying to figure out what exactly he had taken as my bestfriend who was still with me was seeing if she could find anything else. In his messages there was an unsaved number and it was the last person he had texted other than me. I started going through the messages to see if they had mentioned what he had taken but it was just him cancelling on her because they were due to hangout that day. I knew i couldn't be upset because we were broken up, but i continued reading to see if maybe it was mentioned there. The further i scrolled, i found her calling him pet names, and they were hanging out on days where he said he was hanging out with his guy friends. She texted him telling him that she missed him and he didn't even mention it. I was heart broken, this started before we broke up. he was telling me how he wanted to get back together and yet here he was hiding hanging out with this girl. If he had told me about her i honestly wouldn't have cared, i trusted him, but he never did. The most heartbreaking sobs started coming out and i called the girl asking if i knew what he had taken, if it was laced, and i mentioned i was his ex and we broke up not even 2 weeks prior, and she apologized as she said she had no idea. He claims he told her, but why would she lie. And if it was nothing why did she apologize. I have hurt in my heart just writing this. Finally i found out that he had taken LSD and forgot that we had broken up, forgot about this accident he was in just weeks prior, didn't know where he got the drugs, and was terrified to go into his room. I have never felt heartbreak like that. I was sitting there sobbing as i thought he was going to possibly die, just to find out that there was another girl, who he had been talking to for over a month, so since before we broke up. He walked in after getting back from the hospital and i started sobbing even harder, i started yelling asking how he could do this to me. Not only scare us like that by taking drugs from someone he had never met, but also doing drugs he swore he would never do. And talking to that girl too. I have never collapsed from sobbing like i did last night. I cried until my voice was hoarse and i couldn't make anymore noise. My heart aches. I am so upset about it because i loved him. I had sex with him. He saw my naked body and i am a very private person. He had seen every part of me, and still did that to me. I just don't know what to do. Because i do love him, but if he really loved me would he have done this? I just really needed to get this out. I just have no clue what to do, i know that i should probably just stop talking to him, like everybody is telling me to, but i still love him, i think i always will and i just miss the guy that he used to be.
submitted by britishpunk149
to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:31 matrixmg1 GTA 5 ALL FIRE TRUCK Location GTAV 2022
2023.05.28 20:29 puppyworm My story as a recovering neet
Copied directly from NEET
as I thought this might be a good place to post my journey as well! Edit: I just realized due to a comment I received on this post that many people will assume I'm a woman. I'm simply a gay man lol. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey. I don't really have anyone to share this with, so I hope it's okay if I share it here. I'm a recovering neet and I just want to put this out there. Maybe it can serve as some inspiration for others looking to get out of neetdom or something. Anyways.
I would've dropped out of high school if I had gone to a regular one. Thankfully I ended up going to an alternative school because my mental health was so poor, and they supported me really well.
After I graduated I got a retail job and it sucked to hell. Quit after a couple months. Fall was coming up so I decided to go to community college. Did that for a year as my mental health was once again rapidly declining, and then I just... Stopped attending.
I did nothing until I was 23. It was great at first. Thankfully my dad is very soft in the heart and while he would verbally worry about me, he also probably would have let me live with him doing nothing for the rest of my life. I loved playing video games all day and sleeping into the evening.
But as time went on, it started kind of sucking. I had no money, I stopped getting enjoyment out of doing anything other than playing games, my social anxiety got 500% worse, I gained a lot of weight, and worst of all, my relationship with my boyfriend was deteriorating.
I was in therapy for a bit, but she had to drop me due to her clinic no longer accepting my dad's insurance. My boyfriend, who lived with me and my dad, was kind and patient, but I could tell his patience and hope for me was wearing thin after a few years of me doing absolutely nothing to help myself.
At the end of 2021 (I think), I got on some meds that actually work pretty well for my anxiety. I also tried shrooms a few times, which made me realize a some things.
Firstly, that my greatest wish of moving out wasn't going to happen if I didn't do anything to make it happen. We wouldn't be able to live off my boyfriend's salary alone. Also, I wouldn't want him to have to work that much.
Second, that was what led me to the realization that my lack of drive was putting some strain on our relationship. Of course, he doesn't think not having a job is a bad thing, as evidenced by the fact that he stayed with me all throughout my ~4-5 years of neetdom. It's more about how he would have to work so much to sustain us if we ever wanted to leave.
And third, I... Wanted to do more than survive. I wanted to be able to afford to do things like take trips and eat sushi and live in a decent place. I'm a big Disney parks fan since I grew up with my parents taking me all the time, so I want to be able to keep going even into my adulthood. I know that sounds stupid to a lot of people, but it's important to me and part of what motivates me (I'm just autistic lmao don't worry I loathe Disney as a company)
During the summer of 2022, I decided (to the delight of my dad and boyfriend) that I would go back to community college. I signed up for one math class to ease myself back in.
To my surprise, it wasn't as bad as I remembered. The people around me were younger than me, but I'm still pretty young still and am often mistaken for a teenager, so that wasn't a problem for me. I didn't really socialize. The atmosphere of my college was too high school-like for me to feel comfortable socializing.
But the class itself was... Lowkey kinda fun? I realized that I actually enjoy learning math. And that was when, after also researching anxiety-friendly well paying jobs, I decided I would transfer to a university, where I would major in computer science and get a job programming or something like that.
I took another class in the winter, applied to the university as a transfer, and after some hassle, I'm incredibly happy to say that at 24 years old, I'm starting at the university this fall! My then boyfriend, now fiance and I decided we want to get married, AND we're moving out of my dad's house since the school is across the state. My tuition is being funded by grants and the housing is being funded by my wonderful, generous fiance, and we'll be moving out in less than a month!!
One of the weirdest things I've realized is that I was so, SO bored when I was neeting. Having things to do in the real world, goals to attain, actually made me feel like a real person. Like I wanted to go out into the world and like, do something. I also feel like I can enjoy video games and stuff a lot more now.
I'll always be supportive of neets, those who are neet by choice and those who aren't, and I'll never judge anyone for being one. But that life isn't for me anymore. I'm happy to have my tax dollars go to a neet who needs it more, and once I'm working, I want to let my fiance decide what he wants to do. If he wants to play vidya all day, that's fine, the goal is to make enough money for him to be able to do that. And if he wants to pursue college or something, I'll be able to support him financially.
Him and my dad are literally the only people in my life right now. My social anxiety got so bad as a need that I ended up cutting everyone off. I hope trying to make new friends ends up being worth it. And in college, I'll be sure to take on less of a workload/take breaks if I need to. I don't want to go back to the way things were.
Anyways, I know this is long as shit, and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it. Let me know your thoughts, questions, etc if you have any. Much love and wishing the best for everyone.
(Also just want to add that I realize how lucky I've been here. I'm by no means trying to say it's easy to stop being a neet, or that you should even have to at all. In a world where machines could do much of the work, there's no reason to force people to work if they don't want to or can't. I'm antiwork. My happiness lies not with becoming a wagecuck, but in being able to support my partner and be able to do things like move out and afford to go on vacation. Everyone finds their own happiness in life. If your happiness is being a neet, more power to you!)
submitted by puppyworm
to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:29 Environmental-Cup352 Lexapro taper
I want to share with you my lexapro taper in the hopes that this can help inform your Dr on a taper schedule (in case they are not aware of a good taper). Yes, bring these taper examples to your dr to see if it is right for you.
Backstory: I have been on escitalopram (lexapro/cipralex) for over 3 years (started May 2020) for issues with sleep and baseline anxiety likely exacerbated due to lack of sleep (very stressful job). Originally, I started on 5mg daily, then increased to 10mg daily after about 6 months.
Since starting this med, I have had intermittent issues with side effects ie. Dizziness, confusion, visual issues, fatigue, nausea, anhedonia, lack of motivation etc; yet, these things were more welcome than the sleep disturbance and anxiety, until recently.
In Feb 2023, I took a genetic test (Personalized Prescribing) that showed my body doesn't respond well to escitalopram. This, coupled with 24 hrs of continuous brain zaps during early covid infection in March 2023, formed the writing on the wall. It was time to shed the pharmaceutical straight jacket. I needed to be free from what was clearly no longer helpful.
Doses and tapering:
I was on 5mg since spring 2022. In April 2023, I reduced to 2.5mg daily x 2 weeks, then 1.25mg daily x 2 weeks. Now, I am taking 1.25mg every other day and will do this for 2 weeks. After that, I will do 1.25mg every 3 days for 2 weeks. Then every 4 days for 2 weeks and then, depending on how I am feeling, I may stop the escitalopram entirely or do 1.25mg every 5 days etc. This is very slow and probably unnecessary for some, but I am really sensitive to meds and shifts in my body, so I like to go slow.
A friend of mine who got off escitalopram a few months ago tapered like this:
Original dose 15mg. Reduced dose to 10mg and stayed there for minimum 2 weeks. Then reduced to 7.5mg x minimum 2 weeks. They continued to taper 2.5mg every 2 weeks minimum. After the end of the 2.5mg 2 week segment, they stopped the med entirely. They told me they felt brain fog and some other tolerable symptoms for about a week after and then they felt pretty much back to baseline.
This same friend had a bad withdrawal experience before they did the more reasonable taper above: their dr suggested going from 10mg to 5mg in a week or two. Then going from 5mg to nothing after about 2 weeks. This dr advice landed my friend in intolerable withdrawal for 5 days until my friend called their drs office and got better advice.
A good rule of thumb is to reduce dose by 2.5mg or less--if you're like me--every few weeks or more.
If you're looking to get off escitalopram and are afraid of withdrawal symptoms, talk with your prescriber about a gentle or slow taper.
submitted by Environmental-Cup352
to lexapro [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:29 JamesMaysTicklyToes 2 of the other 13 in Europe
We can be all proud of this achievement unless you’re a wolves/ palace fan or if you hate villa or Brighton
But both of those fantastic teams will be playing Thursday nights. Well deserved too, easily the 2 best sides from the other 13.
(Newcastle won’t get a mention because they’re UCL bound as the richest club in football but a great season for them too)
Hope both villa and Brighton fans can celebrate freely for what’s a first for the seagulls and a return for the villa.
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to TheOther14 [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:28 Perpetual-Person Doesn't look good for City in the CL final, they couldn't even score against Brentford, what are your thoughts?
2023.05.28 20:28 Turskibur I’m retiring my Idaho dynasty.
| || |
All of the things included in the picture + Kibbie dome being number 1 toughest place to play. Other teams tremble in fear when they have to go to the Kibbie dome. submitted by Turskibur to NCAAFBseries [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:27 h0llywoodstuntdriver Meet other people in Tech, Data and Finance
Hi everyone, I moved to OC a few months ago and now that I’m a bit settled, I want to meet other professionals in Tech / Data / Startups / Finance to learn and network. Are there any popular conferences or meetups or clubs etc. where I can go to meet?
Im ok traveling to LA or SD occasionally if that’s where all the conferences happen.
submitted by h0llywoodstuntdriver
to orangecounty [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:27 Supportfarmers Long distance relationship 26M/26F , need Advice
Need help :(
New to this subreddit. Anyways, Me and my girl met on call of duty 3 years ago. At that time she had a boyfriend, we were just friends. Then we got into a little argument and didn’t speak for like a year. Then, December 2022, I met her again on the game and we started clicking again. On January 1st, 2023, I asked her to be my girlfriend and all. Everything is going great and all. Then, on April 28th 2023, I went to go see her for the first time (flew 15 hours from the plane). She was everything we talked about, nice to talk to and all. So, one night, she went to go shower and left her phone in the room. I figured why don’t I see what’s going on.. everything was good so far, it’s everything that I know of (keep in mind that we share screens to watch movies so she sometimes even shares her screen to show her photo gallery or messages). But like, I saw a hidden folder, I unlocked it with her password and saw my pictures only and her sexy pics ;) ,one picture of her with this guy and the picture was of her kissing him on the lips at this music festival 21 days after we started our relationship.. she has never told me about this. I even remember her showing me pictures of her staying at her besties (female) house and we FaceTimed too. This gotta be a random guy that she met at the music festival.. she did tell me that she was drunk that day too.. I was speechless when I saw the picture because she told me that she doesn’t cheat and that she has been cheated on in the past with her ex two times. Anyways, when she came back to the room after the shower, I pretended like I didn’t check her phone because I don’t like arguments and she doesn’t like it either.. she finds it toxic and psycho. So I don’t do that for the sake of our relationship. She’s going to another music festival in two weeks with her besties (females that also have boyfriends), and I kind of beat around the bush and was like “are there usually any simps that u meet at the festivals?”, she said yes there is many but I usually stay with the girls and don’t give them attention. Then I was like “have u ever kissed a guy in a festival before our relationship or during our relationship even if drunk?”, she said “during our relationship, I have not”. In my mind, I was so bothered cause she lied to me… but anyways, I went to visit her for 3 weeks during that time and came to find that out. Again, I don’t want to confront her about this cause I’m scared and I know that she will say “that’s so psycho, why did u go through my phone while I was showering?? You know I don’t like psychos cause my ex was psycho and I don’t want to be with another psycho”. She has another festival in 2 weeks.. I don’t even live close enough to her to be going to festivals. It costs alot too (festival, plane tickets).
Wanted to share it with you guys and tell me with you guys think? You guys think she kisses that guy because she felt like this relationship wasn’t that serious at the time?
submitted by Supportfarmers
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:27 Hot_Supermarket5322 24 [M4F] Australia/Anywhere - Cute guy seeks situationship
Hey, I'm at a point where I'm sorta just stuck and have no idea what to do or if I even want to do anything at all and it's really difficult, so rn I just want someone that I can vibe with for a while or maybe have it be a long term thing, idk. We'll see how it goes. Let's voice call and watch videos, play games, text at stupid hours of the day and do \*other\* stuff together of course. Basically, I just want a "situationship" type thing that can hopefully give us both some joy during what is a really shitty time rn.
Anyway, here's a bit about me!
I'm shy at first but open up quickly if I like you. Very talkative about my passions, could talk someone's ear off about football or a video game but I tend not to because I don't want to bore people haha. I have a lot of self doubt and I'm on the spectrum with a terrible habit of hyperfocusing on meaningless things that give me joy, aka my hobbies! Collecting, playing games, following football/soccer and basketball. Also a somewhat cynical F1 fan. I'm quite cute and I'd also hope that you're good looking too, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I guess I know my worth in that sense. However, I'm not everyone's cup of tea so I'd be happy to swap selfies with you right away. I wouldn't want to waste time if there isn't a mutual attraction.
So uh yeah, idk what else to say really. I'd prefer you to be 21+ and I don't care what timezone you're in. I will say that if you have a Canadian or American accent, you go to the front of the line so if you've read this far it'd be best to let me know if you have one of those lmao. Thanks for reading and have a great day.
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to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:24 practicallybert r/TheOther14 Predicts the 2022/23 Premier League: Reviewed
Welcome back all! For those of you that don’t remember, I posted a poll for subscribers to submit their predicted Premier League table
. We are now back to review the predicted results to the final results! Once again, thanks to all 279 participants that submitted their results, I hope to see more for the 2023-24 campaign. For now, see the predicted table vs. results below as well as fun facts!
|Position ||Predicted Club ||Avg. Finish ||Actual Club ||Points Total ||Predicted Club Difference |
|1 ||Manchester City ||1.11 ||Manchester City ||89 ||– |
|2 ||Liverpool ||2.03 ||Arsenal ||84 ||-3 |
|3 ||Tottenham ||3.50 ||Manchester United ||75 ||-5 |
|4 ||Chelsea ||4.28 ||Newcastle ||71 ||-8 |
|5 ||Arsenal ||4.35 ||Liverpool ||67 ||+3 |
|6 ||Manchester United ||5.47 ||Brighton ||62 ||+3 |
|7 ||West Ham ||7.05 ||Aston Villa ||61 ||-7 |
|8 ||Newcastle ||8.39 ||Tottenham ||60 ||+4 |
|9 ||Leicester City ||9.06 ||Brentford ||59 ||-9 |
|10 ||Aston Villa ||9.84 ||Fulham ||52 ||+3 |
|11 ||Wolves ||11.06 ||Crystal Palace ||45 ||-2 |
|12 ||Brighton ||11.16 ||Chelsea ||44 ||+6 |
|13 ||Crystal Palace ||11.18 ||Wolves ||41 ||+2 |
|14 ||Leeds ||14.37 ||West Ham ||40 ||-5 |
|15 ||Southampton ||14.51 ||Bournemouth ||39 ||-5 |
|16 ||Brentford ||14.93 ||Nottingham Forest ||38 ||+7 |
|17 ||Everton ||15.08 ||Everton ||36 ||– |
|18 ||Nottingham Forest ||15.30 ||Leicester City ||34 ||+2 |
|19 ||Fulham ||16.68 ||Leeds ||31 ||+9 |
|20 ||Bournemouth ||17.92 ||Southampton ||25 ||+5 |
once again win the title, making it three seasons in a row. 86% of all participants predicted a three peat for the Cityzens. With Arsenal
and Manchester United
rounding out the top three, only ONE entry correctly predicted this top three in order. As for getting the top four correct (without the proper spot), NO ONE predicted this. Only one entry had Newcastle
in the top four, going to show there was little faith of their project generating Champions League football so quickly.
Speaking of projects, Brighton
and Aston Villa
made mid-season manager changes that completely turned each club on its head, both sides finishing 6th and 7th, respectively. 7.8% of entries had Aston Villa finishing 7th, and 0.0% had Brighton finishing 6th. Only 2 entries predicted Brighton making European football, emphasizing their 12th place projected finish. 28 people slotted Villa to finish somewhere in the top 7, 10.03% of all entries.
We had a lot of wild finished compared to projections, as only two teams were finished in their projected finish, Manchester City
in first and Everton
in 17th. Fifteen of the twenty teams finished three or more slots away from their projections, and ten of those teams were five spots or more away from projections. The biggest range were nine positions off, seeing Fulham
finish 9 spots higher than their projected 19th while Leicester City
finish nine spots below their projected 9th place finish, and unfortunately saw them get relegated.
Speaking of relegation, the final results were wild from the projection. For only the fourth time in Premier League history, all three newly promoted teams survived the drop (and with ease, nonetheless). Only 7 projections of all 279 avoided picking Bournemouth
, and Nottingham Forest
for relegation, a whopping 2.51%! The entry of those closest to guessing the relegation order right had Leicester City
in 18th and Leeds
in 19th….but had Manchester United
in 20th and Nottingham Forest
winning the league so do with that what you will.
On the actual relegation, we say goodbye to Southampton
, and Leicester City
as they will get to enjoy Championship
instead of this sub. In the order above, here are the following projections for relegation of each club: 22.2%; 26.2%; 1.4% (just four entries!!). Safe to say many thought the Foxes would replicate their top half finish from the prior season instead of being in the relegation scrap. Liverpool
experienced quite the drop off, falling to 5th and by a decent margin. 1.8% of all entries had Liverpool missing a Champions League spot, total of five entries. Meanwhile, West Ham
had a polarizing season. Coming off a seventh place finish, they are currently prepping for the Europa Conference League final next week. If you told any Hammer supporters prior to the season about this, they’d be over the moon! However, they found themselves too close to the drop zone for a while and ended the year seven places below their projected, locked into 14th. 47.3% of projections had them experience some sort of European hangover (finishing outside the top 7), so the majority of fans thought they would replicate their league success. Eyes on the three newest European participants next season to see if they can avoid this issue.
And that is all for the 2022-23 season! Thanks again for the 279 participants who took part this season, hoping to be an even stronger turnout for next season. To all Leicester, Leeds, and Southampton fans, hope we see you all back up here soon. But for now, a big welcome to Burnley, Sheffield United, and Luton Town to the sub! Next season begins on August 12th, it will be here before you know it! Enjoy your summer, lads.
submitted by practicallybert
to TheOther14 [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:23 dreamingofislay Feis Ile Day Two Recap (5/28)
| || | submitted by dreamingofislay to Scotch [link] [comments]
Following up on yesterday's recap of Lagavulin Day
/day one of Feis Ile 2023, day two of the festival was another cracking day, although we deviated from the main event schedule.
Douglas Laing Peat-zeria Rare Tasting
Today is Bruichladdich day, now known as Rock'ndaal (the new name they coined in 2022, which carried over to this year). Hopefully, our fellow Redditors here on Islay can offer thoughts on Rock'ndaal 2.0. We skipped it because Bruichladdich was a little too crazy for our taste in 2018. Of all the distilleries, they throw the biggest party, which feels almost like a small music festival/rock concert. It gets very crowded, especially with the frenzy to get their special bottlings. Great for people who want a more high-octane experience, but not for us, at least not this time around.
Instead, we did a Douglas Laing old & rare tasting and then headed to Bunnahabhain distillery for the legendary Warehouse 9 tour. Our impressions and notes:
- The peripheral events outside of the big distillery open days are underrated. We pretty much didn't even know they existed during our first visit, but we're making more of an effort to try them out this time. Independent bottlers like Douglas Laing and others throw some small events or tastings and showcase some exceptional drams. For instance, my tasting today was a 120-pound/$140 ticket (most expensive one I got this trip) but was an absolute tour de force featuring two pours of 37-year-old and 40-year-old Port Ellen, along with several other spectacular whiskies.
- Douglas Laing's global ambassador Dougal is such a knowledgeable, chill guy, and getting to hang out with him for a few hours drinking such special whiskies has got to be the highlight of the trip so far.
- Peatzeria (in Bowmore) has to be one of the best restaurants on Islay. Got takeout from there for dinner last night, and did the Douglas Laing event there at lunch, and I suspect another few meals during the trip are going to come from Peatzeria. Met the owners at the tasting, and they are lovely people!
- Take many small 1-ounce or 2-ounce bottles with you if you're coming to Feis Ile. Why, you ask? At any tasting or event, if you have a delicious whisky but don't want to finish it, take it to go! This is eight straight days of drinking, so it's critical to keep a level head (a bad hangover could mean losing out on an event or at least not enjoying it). At most events, I fill up some sample bottles with what I don't drink, label them to remember it, then bring them home and can enjoy great whisky later in the evening after a big dinner or a refreshing run. Pacing is critical.
- Despite their fame and iconic status, Highland cows are a rare sight in Scotland. Driving around in 2018, we noticed tons of cows and sheep, but none of the Highland variety. Well, we broke the streak today. On the small road from Persabus up to Bunnahabhain and Ardnahoe, less than a mile up the road, there are big pastures that had actual, real-life Highland cows. Major trip highlight to find some of these cuties - I'd even bought socks with Highland cows on them as a souvenir two days ago, so I was thrilled to see them in real life.
The elusive Highland cow
- Another animal note: Islay has white swans that live out in its ocean bays, which struck me as so unusual and fascinating (didn't think they would like saltwater). Back in 2018, there was a swan living outside of Laphroaig who one distillery team member named Gary. This time, we spotted a swan couple outside of Lagavulin and another - or perhaps the same one - outside of Bunnahabhain.
- Confirming earlier Reddit reviews, the Bunnahabhain Warehouse 9 tour is a delight and one of the best experiences on Islay. The tour host, Katie, was funny and charming, and she can talk all day about the ins and outs of Bunnahabhain (which, to be fair, is her job!). The new visitor center's been open for about three years now, and the facelift they've done has made Bunnahabhain a much more attractive site than in bygone days. They also have the best views on Islay, with a stunning pebble beach looking over the bay to the Paps of Jura and, in the far distance, the mountainous Isle of Mull.
The legendary Warehouse 9
- Bunnahabhain's gift shop is also one of the best laid out and designed on the island. One thing I particularly loved, and wished every distillery did, is that Bunnahabhain sells individual sample bottles of about 15-20 expressions, including not just its main bottlings but also the single casks offered on the Warehouse 9 tour, past Feis Ile expressions, and other special visitor shop-only bottles. We left the gift shop with samples from the 2018, 2021, and 2023 festivals, along with the 25-year-old, all for very reasonable prices (e.g., 15 pounds for the 25, which is a 400-pound bottle, and costs even more, around $600, stateside).
The drams I've tasted today include: Old Particular Bunnahabhain 15-year-old
(Douglas Laing, 48.4%) - This was a cool treat because it was an entirely ex-bourbon unpeated Bunnahabhain, a rare find from that mostly sherry-aged house. Floral, fruity, waxy, with maritime notes - could have told me Tobermory or Old Pulteney and I'd have been none the wiser. Big Peat Feis Ile 2023 Smokehouse
(Douglas Laing, 48%) - Big Peat has always been on the sweeter side of the Islay spectrum, and this one's no exception, layering on a Rioja red wine finish to a double-digit-aged Big Peat base. I know Ardbeg just released an expression called BizarreBQ which is supposed to have big BBQ notes, so I'll be interested to compare with this one. Going to pick a bottle up as soon as I see it back home. XOP Caol Ila 40-year-old
(Douglas Laing, 54.2%) - This is where the tasting took a step up from excellent to legendary. Old Caol Ila gets so soft and pleasant, almost perfumy, with loads of musk and ambergris complementing a very fruit-forward core of pears and tropical fruits. XOP Port Ellen 37-year-old
(Douglas Laing, 52.6%) - All these old whiskies drink like a dream, with no alcohol prickle left after so many decades of maturation. Port Ellen is pretty unique for an Islay whisky, for better or worse. It lacks the muscle and rough edges (some would say, the sex appeal) of a young Laphroaig or Ardbeg, but adds some fresh-baked biscuits, creamy maltiness, and a very warm, spicy smoke that isn't quite like anything I've had before. Stunning whisky. XOP Bowmore 25-year-old
(Douglas Laing, 54.2%) - After having so many ex-bourbon whiskies, this majestic sherried Bowmore was the perfect change-of-pace. Rich, nutty, the ideal dessert dram; like a fruitcake and a glass of mocha blended together. Surprise dram, Port Ellen 40-year-old
(Douglas Laing, 57.3%) - Since I had to run early, Dougal was nice enough to pull out the end-of-tasting surprise a little early and gave me a to-go pour of this whisky. Haven't tasted it yet, but I know what I'm doing tonight ... Bunnahabhain W9 2006 Manzanilla
(58.6%) - Katie did not tell us what we were drinking until we tried each dram first, a great way to avoid biases/preconceptions. This one drank like a lightly sweet but mostly dry sherry profile (we did know it was Manzanilla because this particular one has it written on the barrel), with champagne-like notes of cereal grains, nuts, and some orchard fruit. Was shocking to me that it was such high ABV, would have guessed 47-48% blind. Bunnahabhain W9 2009 red wine cask
(57.7%) - Wonderful example of a red wine finish. Banana cream was a distinct scent that came to mind, and this was a sharp contrast to the first whisky because it had real bite and sharpness, with strong oak tannins on the finish. Bunnahabhain W9 2009 sherry refill + 3-year Amarone finish
(61%) - Pretty sure I've never had anything finished in Amarone before. Amarone's a wine made from dried grapes, and I don't know much about it, although the winemaking technique sounds like Vin Santo. This one was a classic house style heavily sherried dram, although the Amarone added some creaminess and a very sweet maraschino cherry note. Bunnahabhain 2004 Moine (peated) oloroso
(53.9%) - One of the best drams of the day, and that really is saying something after the day I've had. "Glazed ham" was Katie's tasting note suggestion, and that's spot-on. This is a luscious and meaty whisky with some savory cooking smoke to it. Bunnahabhain 2004 Moine (peated) PX
(51.8%) - Free pour at the gift shop after our tasting, while we were buying bundles of other 3 cl sample bottles. It's funny that we tried this right after the previous oloroso peated expression from the same distillation year. This one was sharper and sweeter, and the balance of the finish and the peated spirit wasn't quite there, although we're really splitting hairs. A great dram, if not quite at the level of some of the Warehouse 9 whiskies we'd just enjoyed.
The night is young here, and I'm sober thanks to my driver's dram/empty sample bottles system, so may post more notes as the evening goes along. Attending Feis Ile and being in Scotland/on Islay are some of our all-time favorite experiences, and it's been so nice to be back and have those same feelings revived or redoubled our second time around. Slainte!
2023.05.28 20:23 taintmoun How to get daily option data exported to CSV excel
I am interested in doing backtesting for my specific strategy and not sure how to even start using thinkorswim ondemand. The specific strategy involve in SPY 1-DTE as part of day trading (position open and close in a day).
Preferrably, I want to download all the option data SPY including 30-50 strike prices for both call and puts between 01/01/2022 and 12/31/2022.
Once I have CSV files, I think I can use python coding or VBA to run the tests but to get the raw data is not easy for me.
Can someone shed lights on how to start? I am aware that real time data base API is available, but it seems like that I have to run 930 TO 400 (EST) all the way between 01/01/2022 and 12/31/2022, which would take exactly the same time just to run the backtesting.
I am also aware that CBOE sells the data in excel CSV files, which is basically 5-10 $ per each trading day, and if that's the very last resources, I will, but I am here if there is free way to download without sacrificing too much time.
submitted by taintmoun
to thinkorswim [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 20:22 puitje 29 [M4F] - Belgium/Anywhere - Scroll no further!
I assume we're all here endlessy scrolling through the different posts trying to find that one person to vibe with.
The main reason is because we're either extremelly bored or lonely.
My job is to try be that person to tick both those boxes off.
Lucky for you, I got a lot of attention to give.
So to tell you a bit more about myself.
As the title says, I am a 28 year old living together with my cat in Belgium.
Sadly one of my cats passed away in April, so I'm left with Stella.
I have a fulltime job and I've been active for around 6 years in the IT-sector.
When I get home from work, I like to unwind doing all kind of stuff, for example:
- Watching Formula 1 / Football
- Going for an evening walk
- Goofing around with my cat
- Trying to get better at cooking
- Scrolling on Youtube and ending up on the weirdest videos
- Playing some video games
- Take well deserved naps
- Listen to music
- Socialize with friends
So if any part of the post seems appealing to you, don't hesitate to reach out!
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Looking forward hearing from you.
submitted by puitje
to r4r [link] [comments]