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Think Like A Man Of Action, Act Like A Man Of Thinking

2008.10.27 15:12 Think Like A Man Of Action, Act Like A Man Of Thinking

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2023.06.09 08:58 CursedHarrenhal A Guide to Jon Snow's friends & foes in the Night's Watch in TWOW (Spoilers Extended)

Im trying to predict what's gonna happen with everyone at Castle Black in TWOW. I have ideas, but one problem keeps coming up; we dont know how the brothers of the Night's Watch will respond to Jons murder.
I believe Jons murder will cause a lot of division in Castle Black; between the NW vs the Wildlings, the NW vs Mel & Selyse... but it will also cause division WITHIN the NW. Some seem to support Jon, others appear not to. For the majority of the NW, theres no indication one way or another. But I wanna know who's on which side, so heres what I've come up with so far:
JONS ALLYS
- Ghost
- Dolorous Edd
- Hareth (Horse)
- Rory
- Satin
- Iron Emmet
- Leathers
- Jax
- Arron
- Emrick
- Pyp
- Grenn
- Toad
ANTI-JON FACTION
- Bowen Marsh
- Wick Whittlestick
- Othell Yarwyck
- Septon Cellador
- Alf of Runnymud
- Left Hand Lew
- Ser Alliser Thorne
- Mully
- Fulk, the Flea
This list only includes NW brothers who are still alive by the end of ADWD. It's hard to say who supports Jon and who doesn't with certainty. So let me give a brief explanation for each of these guys and why I think they will be either pro- or anti-Jon:
PRO-JON FACTION
- Ghost - Obviously he's on Jon's side. He arguably IS Jon. And yes.. Ghost is a brother of the NW
- Samwell Tarly - No explanation needed. But Sam is far away, in Oldtown, so he's irrelevant to Castle Black in the TWOW opening
- Edd Tollett - No explanation needed. But Edd has been sent to Long Barrow along with Iron Emmett, so he isn't at Castle Black either.
- Hareth (Horse) - Horse is guarding Jon after the Shieldhall speech, right as the assassination is about to take place. If Jon trusts him enough to guard his life, this probably indicates Horse will stay loyal to Jon:
Horse and Rory fell in beside Jon as he left the Shieldhall. I should talk with Melisandre after I see the queen, he thought. If she could see a raven in a storm, she can find Ramsay Snow for me. Then he heard the shouting … and a roar so loud it seemed to shake the Wall. "That come from Hardin's Tower, m'lord," Horse reported. He might have said more, but the scream cut him off. (Jon XIII, ADWD)
- Rory - The same goes for Rory, he was with Horse guarding Jon as the assassination took place. I wouldn't be surprised if we learn in TWOW that Horse or Rory were killed in the assassination attempt. But if they survive they'll probably be Team Jon
Val, was Jon's first thought. But that was no woman's scream. That is a man in mortal agony. He broke into a run. Horse and Rory raced after him. "Is it wights?" asked Rory. Jon wondered. Could his corpses have escaped their chains? (Jon XIII, ADWD)
Jon saw the flash of naked steel a few yards away. His own bowmen nocked arrows to their strings. He turned in his saddle. "Rory. Quiet them." Rory lifted his great horn to his lips and blew. (Jon V, ADWD)
- Satin - Seems to be close with Jon. Is picked by Jon to go on missions. Jon defends Satins positions as his personal steward and squire after Edd. Satin is the only one of Jon's friends who doesn't get sent away to the Shadow Tower. Satin also adopts the old gods, indicating his closeness with Jon. Also it's clear the anti-Jon faction hates Satin. Satin probably has the most evidence of anyone to show he'll support Jon. Satin's whereabouts at the time of the assassination are not known
His friends laughed—Grenn, Toad, Satin, the whole lot of them. (Jon III, ADWD)
Septon Cellador spoke up. "This boy Satin. It's said you mean to make him your steward and squire, in Tollett's place. My lord, the boy's a whore … a … dare I say … a painted catamite from the brothels of Oldtown." And you are a drunk. "What he was in Oldtown is none of our concern. He's quick to learn and very clever. The other recruits started out despising him, but he won them over and made friends of them all. He's fearless in a fight and can even read and write after a fashion. He should be capable of fetching me my meals and saddling my horse, don't you think?" (Jon VIII, ADWD)
Whatever Satin may have done in Oldtown, he is our brother now, and he will be my squire. (Jon VIII, ADWD)
- Iron Emmett - He is picked to be the master-at-arms for Castle Black. He spars with Jon. He is selected for the mission to the weirwood in ADWD. There isnt solid proof he would support Jon, but he seems to be a prime candidate as an ally. He was sent to Long Barrow with Edd Tollett, so he isnt at Castle Black
- Leathers - Leathers almost certainly supports Jon. Leathers is a Wildling who became a brother of the NW. Jon makes him the master-at-arms after Emmett. The anti-Jon faction does not approve of Leathers appointment
"Is it true that you mean to replace Emmett with this savage Leathers as our master-at-arms? That is an office most oft reserved for knights, or rangers at the least." "Leathers is savage," Jon agreed mildly. "I can attest to that. I've tried him in the practice yard. He's as dangerous with a stone axe as most knights are with castle-forged steel. I grant you, he is not as patient as I'd like, and some of the boys are terrified of him … but that's not all for the bad. One day they'll find themselves in a real fight, and a certain familiarity with terror will serve them well." (Jon VIII, ADWD)
"How many men are enough?" he asked Leathers. "A hundred? Two hundred? Five hundred? A thousand?" (Jon XIII, ADWD)
- Jax - The same as Leathers. Jax is a Wildling who joins the NW. He isn't mentioned as often as Leathers, but given that Jon's murderers were in large part motivated by Jon's relationship with the Wildlings, I imagine any Wildling NW-brother will have to be pro-Jon
- Arron & Emrick - Two brothers from Fair Isle who are recruited by Jon. They both swear their oaths before the Weirwoods, even though they were born following the Faith of the Seven. There is little information about them, but what little we have seems to suggest they may be pro-Jon
- Pyp, Grenn & Toad - These guys are Jon's friends who he sends away to the Shadow Tower. They are certainly pro-Jon, but they aren't nearby enough to matter
ANTI-JON FACTION
- Bowen Marsh - Stabbed Jon
- Wick Whittlestick - Tried to slash Jon's throat
- Othell Yarwyck - The First Builder of the NW. He is one of the leaders who is increasingly antagonistic towards Jon leading up to the assassination. He was seen at the Shieldhall meeting, standing near Bowen Marsh. Almost persuaded to support Janos Slynt for Lord Commander in ASOS. He doesn't attend the Thenn-Karstark wedding
As for Borroq, Othell Yarwyck claimed the woods north of Stonedoor were full of wild boars. Who was to say the skinchanger would not make his own pig army? (Jon XIII, ADWD)
But others had chosen to absent themselves to show their disapproval. Othell Yarwyck and Bowen Marsh were amongst the missing (Jon X, ADWD)
"I summoned you to make plans for the relief of Hardhome," Jon Snow began. "Thousands of the free folk are gathered there, trapped and starving, and we have had reports of dead things in the wood." To his left he saw Marsh and Yarwyck. (Jon XIII, ADWD)
- Septon Cellador - A part of the council that becomes increasingly antagonistic towards Jon's command. There's not a lot of evidence to support him being anti-Jon, except he hates the Wildlings and assoiactes with the anti-Jon faction
"These are godless savages," said Septon Cellador. "Even in the south the treachery of wildlings is renowned." (Jon XI, ADWD)
- Alf, of Runnymudd - Alf appears to be heartbroken when Garth is killed by the Wildlings. Some have theorized this indicates Alf and Garth may have had a gay relationship, but there is no other evidence for this. Alf is seen hanging with Bowen Marsh during the Shieldhall meeting. He likely blames Jon for the death of Garth. He is one NW brother I feel certain hates Jon
"Who is it?" asked Owen the Oaf. "Not Dywen, is it?" "Nor Garth," said the queen's man she knew as Alf of Runnymudd, one of the first to exchange his seven false gods for the truth of R'hllor. "Garth's too clever for them wildlings." "How many?" Mully asked. "Three," Jon told them. "Black Jack, Hairy Hal, and Garth." Alf of Runnymudd let out a howl loud enough to wake sleepers in the Shadow Tower. "Put him to bed and get some mulled wine into him," Jon told Three-Finger Hobb. (Melisandre I, ADWD)
Othell was surrounded by his builders, whilst Bowen had Wick Whittlestick, Left Hand Lew, and Alf of Runnymudd beside him (Jon XIII, ADWD)
- Lefthand Lew - There is no evidence for him being anti-Jon... except he is standing with Bowen Marsh and the anti-Jon faction during the Shieldhall speech. I have no idea what his beef with Jon is, but I feel certain he is with Marsh
Othell was surrounded by his builders, whilst Bowen had Wick Whittlestick, Left Hand Lew, and Alf of Runnymudd beside him (Jon XIII, ADWD)
- Mully & Fulk, the Flea - Right before the Shieldhall meeting, Jon is told by Mully and Flea that Ghost is acting aggressively. This is obviously a warning that Jon is surrounded by enemies who will try to kill him. But it could additionally indicate that Mully and Fulk the Flea are specifically Jon's enemies. This is the only potential hint I could find that might suggest Mully & Fulk are on either side
"That'd be sweet, m'lord," said Fulk the Flea, "but your wolf's in no mood for company today." Mully agreed. "He tried to take a bite o' me, he did." "Ghost?" Jon was shocked.
- Spare Boot, Kegs, Halder, & Albett - These men are part of part of Othells builders. The builders are seen with Othell and Bowen Marsh in the Shieldhall
- Ser Alliser Thorne - Alliser hates Jon, but he isn't at Castle Black right now. Although I predict Ser Alliser will return and maybe even be elected new Lord Commander in the beginning of TWOW, some theorize he may even seek justice against Jon's conspirators
CONCLUSION
Please tell me what you think of my list! I'd like to hear arguments about why should anyone be added or removed from either list?
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2023.06.09 08:23 Any_Suspect_6736 Best Stores That Sell Wigs Near Me

Best Stores That Sell Wigs Near Me
Hair is what makes women look attractive and adorable. Hairstyle makes or breaks women. There are plenty of various hairstyles that you can try to lift your facial structure or allow you to attend any events or occasion. There are so many best stores that sell wigs near me: particularly Paula where you can get high quality hair wigs and hair pieces at reasonable prices.
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2023.06.09 07:55 lilpretzelstickz EM withholding inherentance (further explanation)

If you don't remember me, my last post was "buthurt because I don't like being scared" It seems as though the most Important part was left with not much explanation. My mother, is currently withholding my inherentance from a recently deceased family member. She is not incharge of the will. She has done this before with my savings when she was kicking me out.
I had a savings account in my name, inher account as this account was made when I was a child. Since then all the money put in that account had been for the purpose of my usage. My mother and I had verbally agreed with the bank that when I am 18, I can claim it as mine and receive a card for it. I turned 18, and my birthday is near Christmas so the banks were closed. 4 days before the banks opened again, my mother moved everything to a new account because "the interest is better" when I asked about our agreement, and whether or not it applied to this account she "didn't remember" and thinks that I'm "financially irresponsible." One month later, my mum gives me 5 days to move out. She said that if I do not find a house, she won't give me my savings, and I'll "waste away In a motel and then be homeless."
I don't know when is a good time to remind you I'm autistic, but I feel like now might work. There's not alot of things I can comprehend, like the fact I still have codependency with her, and why she would do this. It really hurts and further pushes a narrative I'm beginning to believe is that she doesn't love me.
I found a place, despite the short time limit and she gave me a couple more weeks and gave back my savings -600$ because I couldn't afford to pay her rent the last few weeks. The town I live in has a rental housing crisis, so I had to move out of town. And I cannot drive so this was a very challenging step.
The inherentance. She recenty let me know about an inherentance from a family member who passed away. She told me she had put it into a shares account which I had completely forgotten about, on a platform where you can make kids account under adult accounts. (Created when i was 17) I asked her whether or not I can withdraw this as I am 18, she said no, because sane old, "not financially responsible" I told her I would use it to buy a computer, she has asked how it could "increase income" and I told her about the ways I can, and that I need one for my small business (I called it company in last post probably poor choice of words) so that I can do alot more admin, as I am struggling to afford paying someone to do it for me, (hopefully by the end of this year it can pay for itself.) She said again that it didn't matter and I needed to prove to her I am financially responsible. I am unsure of how to do this, as I do not live with her and-ITS MY MONEY. Money intended for my use. I will speak to a lawyer about this, I've also submitted a question to the shares platform about what they can do in this situation.
TL;DR:stop clicking on long posts if you aren't going to read them.
Thank you for the support yall, I feel very validated with your supportive responses. I will update you all when I can, and also if you want I can talk about my traumatic childhood and my manipulative extended family
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2023.06.09 06:34 Total_Enthusiasm2234 Tank water and gutters

In a semi rural 2 story rental in Aus and my gutters are blocked and overflow.
Real estate told me it's my responsibility to pay someone to have them cleaned. I didn't leave all the trees near the house.
Surely there's something I can do
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2023.06.09 06:13 dr_gmoney Thank you to the guy at the NJ Currents show tonight who...

...helped me carry my buddy who passed out.
We were waiting in between Like Moths to Flames' set and Currents and my buddy says "woah I feel kind of funny", starts swaying and then goes down.
In a heartbeat, one of you beautiful fuckers gets under his arm, with me on the other side. We have to clear our way through the entire crowd. And god knows my tiny ass was not lifting my fair share, as my friend is 100% dead weight at this point.
So we get near the merch table and call for medical staff. Just as my friend comes to and is dealing with medical staff, I think to thank whichever one of you that god sent down from Heavener. But just as quickly as you swooped into our lives, you were gone.
So I have no idea who you were. My friend is okay, we got help outside by the medics. I got to Currents play 2 songs from afar and we left early. So thank you.
"Save a life at what cost." - Currents
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2023.06.09 06:03 Objective_Campaign82 Sins of the Father Ch36 (Hellworlder pirates 2)

Standing and moving still brought the Arbiter a lot of pain. But the Law’s grim enforcer couldn’t let anyone see that weakness. Especially not with the pirate before them and the very same assassin who had nearly killed them weeks before beneath that pirate’s foot.
The Arbiter had only just been cleared for light duty and decided to spend that time with the Officers in charge of watching the pirates Demon ship. They weren’t ADCU since those officers couldn’t be wasted on a simple stakeout. The Arbiter however had been assured the Officers in charge there were the best they had. But not two minutes within the stakeout tent the Arbiter had learned that the pirate Captain had slipped past the officers assigned to tail her. And more disturbingly that every pirate who left the Astaroth had slipped their tails with disdainful ease.
The utter lack of concern had further stoked their fury. According to the officer on duty every pirate that left eventually made a mess of something and stirred up a minor disturbance. And that only a few that left were unaccounted for. 
The complete lack of awareness for how shady and suspicious all that should have sounded baffled the Arbiter’s mind. They knew crime and violence didn’t come so naturally to other species as it did for the Arbiter’s human mind. But the failure to make such a basic connection that the pirates were creating distractions so that other pirates could do their work covertly, screamed at incompetence.
That led to the Arbiter learning that all the officers in charge of the overwatch operation were actually low level beat cops and file clerks. Looking into the system used to select these officers the Arbiter learned that they weren’t just incompetent, but so incompetent that the staggering number of negative reports had confused the filing system and had placed them into the highest bracket of trusted officers. The system was made to calculate negative values but couldn’t properly place such incompetent people into their proper bracket because there wasn’t a bracket appropriately low enough to place them into. So instead it simply went past the lowest level and placed them into the highest level.
And of course such poor officers couldn’t simply be fired because the officers workers union would make a fuss. Which meant the SS couldn’t replace these idiots with any slightly more intelligent sapients.
The bureaucratic idiocy was so infuriating that the Arbiter had lashed out at a nearby pole before they could think better of it. The pole snapped at the impact, fell over, and collapsed half the tent with it.
After that little outburst the Arbiter decided to take a walk and calm down. Only to stumble upon the missing pirate captain locked in a life-or-death battle with the very same assassin who had ambushed them just weeks before.
The Arbiter hadn’t been there for the start of the fight, but simple deduction was enough to reason that the assassin had likely initiated the conflict. They had mentioned Astarte’s name on the night of the attack. And the Pirate had no reason to seek out and attack the assassin.
During that fight The Arbiter had barely survived their encounter with the assassin. The assassin’s prosthetic modifications presented a gap in power that the Arbiter just couldn’t bridge. But despite fighting what should have been a one sided battle, the pirate was doing surprisingly well. In fact if the Arbiter was any judge, Astarte seemed to have a slight advantage.
Not in speed, power, or endurance. The assassin’s mechanical body was simply too powerful for a human to matchup. But in skill Astarte out matched the mechanical assassin.
Astarte dodged and weaved without effortless ease, getting past the assassin’s guard to strike at their, or her, mechanical body. If the assassin hadn’t been a machine then Astarte would have won by now, even with the gap in power.
Rachel felt slightly ashamed at her own poor showing against the assassin when compared to Astarte’s fight. The shame then quickly burned into anger as the Arbiter gripped the rifle at their side and pulled it out to try and shoot the assassin. Unlike the Arbiter had been that night, Astarte was wearing that ridiculous dark red armor and had a sword like she was some sort of space samurai. The Arbiter had done well that night, and their lack of superior weaponry had been their only flaw. One that had been amended with the addition of a more powerful pulse rifle.
They tried to line up a shot on the assassin that wouldn’t hit Astarte, when Astarte began to speak. “You wanna know the funny part. Greyson didn’t even care that you were gone.”
Wait, did these two share a past. The Arbiter guessed that old saying about birds of a feather was true. Who was Greyson? Some sort of man they had both known?
“Didn’t even question me about. Just said ‘Zera’s gone, now you will guard my back’” the pirate continued. “Then not even a week later I was second in command and got to sleep in his comfy bed.” The pirate gave her attacker a sloppy lascivious grin.
“And then you killed him like the deceptive whore you are!” the assassin spat, her attacks becoming sloppier with more openings.
Where these two quarreling over a man? The Arbiter felt bile rise into their throat. Two of the deadliest human women they had ever seen fighting over some man they had known. Pathetic. No man was worth that. Especially not whoever this Greyson bastard was given how quickly he had let the pirate into his bed after his first girlfriend disappeared.
Wait, Greyson, pirate, dead. Were they talking about the infamous human pirate, Byron Greyson? The one who had been a menace to the Femeri system, who was responsible for the disappearance of over thirty thousand humans and the deaths of many more? The one whose headless body had turned up one day aboard the drifting remains of the Black Saint? It couldn’t be, right?
But the rise of the Astaroth and Astarte had happened shortly before Greyson’s mysterious death. It seemed too coincidental.
“Of course I did, I refused to be the latest women he ruined and dumped into the gutter. Face it, your days were numbered. If it wasn’t me it would have been him.” The pirate said with a derisive sneer.
A bit callous and mercenary, but if they were discussing Greyson then likely not inaccurate.
The assassin however didn’t see that logic. “LIAR!” she screamed as she flew into a rage.
Then the Arbiter saw the reasoning behind Astarte’s taunts. This assassin was dangerously unhinged, and Astarte was using that to bait her into a trap.
The next sequence of attacks was too fast for the Arbiter to follow. A sword hilt to the face, followed by something launching out of the assassin’s arm. Then somehow Astarte had her other arm in her grip and flipped the assassin over a shoulder. With the assassin on the ground, Astarte quickly pressed one leg to their back, and with the arm in hand began to pull. The assassins sudden ultrasonic scream made the Arbiter vison darken at the edges, and maybe caused their ears to bleed a little.
Then the arm came out with a pop and the screaming stopped.
The pirate looked at the arm for a second, before lifting it above her head and swinging it down into the assassin’s head. The loud conk of metal on metal was enough to startle the Arbiter out of her awe and terror.
The barrel of their pulse cannon lifted up with Astarte centered in its sight “FREEZE!” the Arbiter roared with all their might.
Astarte paused mid swing, looked towards the Arbiter, and then raised both of her hands above her head. As well as the assassins severed arm. “It was self defense.” The pirate said quickly.
The Arbiter could have sworn they saw a flash of red. But it happened so fast that they weren’t sure if it was really there. And if it was then why would the pirates eye flash red?
The eye crossed by a gruesome scar. Did the pirate have a glass color changing eye?
No, her eyes were both clearly moving around and focusing on things like they should. Could it be cybernetic? Those were supposed to be impossible, too complicated to properly miniaturize with current technology.
It was something to investigate.
The Arbiter had been so focused on Astarte that they hadn’t been watching the assassin close enough. In a movement the Arbiter hadn’t seen the assassin threw Astarte off her back before popping up to her feet. Astarte went down onto the ground and the assassin lurched forward to attack her downed foe. But before she could reach the pirate three quick blasts from the Arbiters rifle stopped her in her tracks.
One had winged her side, another went wide. But the third had caught her right where a liver should have been. The assassin stuttered, but wasn’t dead. They dodged the next shot by ducking and then the second by somehow leaping ten meters into the air and onto a window seal. The assassin looked down on the two women and was clearly judging their chances at victory. But with an, admittable impressive, one-handed springlike flip Astarte was back on her feet, sword ready for another round.
The assassin’s strange mechanical face scowled before another impossible jump sent her over a nearby building and out of sight.
The Arbiter relaxed once the assassin was gone, but Astarte didn’t. The pirate turned, grabbed the Arbiters gloved hand, and pulled her into a jog down the open alleyway. “Come on, there’s an open lot nearby. Can’t jump us from there.” She said without looking back as she dragged the Arbiter along.
For a stunned few seconds Rachel stared at the strong hand grasping her own smaller one. But then the Arbiter saw the logic in Astarte’s worry and forced their hand to release the pirate and ran alongside her.
A few times the Arbiter had noticed a thin humanoid shadow leap between the buildings above them, but a quick turn down an alley from Astarte had them moving away from the incoming ambush from the assassin chasing them via roof tops. In no time at all they made it to an open loading dock for a nearby warehouse. Astarte ran into its center and scanned the roof tops, the Arbiter followed suit.
The Arbiter and the Pirate stood back to back, each searching for any signs of the mutual foe.
“There!” Astarte shouted while pointing her finger at a roof top.
The Arbiter stared up, but couldn’t see anything. But following the pirate’s direction they raised their rifle and shot at the edge of the building Astarte had pointed at. The blasts landed and then the crouched figure of the assassin rose up and backed away.
How had the pirate seen her? The Arbiter spared her a glance and saw a second flash of red before the pirate shifted her head.
“You should call for backup.” The pirate stated while still scanning the roof tops.
“To arrest the assassin?” the Arbiter asked before they could think better of it.
Astarte snorted. “Wouldn’t trust any SS to arrest a dead log, let alone Zera. But more witnesses might scare her off.”
Two things stood out in that statement, the assassin’s apparent name, and “SS, is that supposed to be short for station security?”
“Schutzstaffel actually, its just a strange coincidence they line up” the Pirate joked wryly.
The Arbiter scowled “You think the Station security are like the Nazi’s?” The Arbiter’s lessons about the various evil factions during Earths history had left her with nightmares for years. Crucifixion, death by a thousand cuts, blood eagles, and the like had disturbed their six-year-old mind. Their lessons had spent weeks on all the evils humanity inflicted upon each other, all the way until First contact.
“If the kinky boot fits.” Astarte said while examining the Arbiter’s own black boots.
The Arbiter swished their cloak to hide their boots, and the pirates gaze snapped back up to the rooftops. The Arbiter made the call, and the idiots in charge of the tent said they would need a few minutes to ‘locate’ their rifles and arm shields. Why they had to be located in the first place confused the Arbiter? They couldn’t be so incompetent as to not know where their weapons were, right?”
Tense minutes past before Astarte let out a sigh of relief. “I think she gave up.” she then shot the Arbiter an accusing glare “I almost had the bitch. If you hadn’t interfered we wouldn’t have to worry about her coming back.”
"You expect me to stand by while you committed murder?” The Arbiter growled, now stepping back from the pirate and reaching for a set of cuffs.
The pirate frowned, then glanced up as if recalling a distant memory. “I… ugh felt my life was in imminent danger, and feared for my life while facing down a clearly aggressive and violent deathworlder with a weapon. I used whatever objects I could find at the time…I carry no weapons and was forced to use ceremonial objects in crude, and ugh…unusual ways for self defense. I did not think retreat was possible so I acted to end the threat” she said in a bland staccato rhythm of everyone reciting words from memory. Her words obviously citing several different laws pertaining to self-defense.
The Arbiter felt an eye twitch. “The law pertaining to Deathworlder assailants was not intended to include Deathworlder victims.” The Arbiter said slowly.
Astarte shrugged “Union vs. Trevor Philips established that the enforcement of the law was done by the letter of the law, not the spirit. By that ruling and precedent I acted reasonably and was within my rights for self-defense. Any attempt to detain me would result in punitive measures from my legal representation.”
In all their time on the ADCU the Arbiter had never encountered a criminal so well versed in the intricacies of Union law. Some loop holes were well known, and easy for Officers to circumvent in order to attain an arrest. But the Arbiter hadn’t encountered something like this before.
The Arbiter looked down and noticed the sword she still held, red blood from the pirate running down its blade. “So that sword isn’t a weapon?” The Arbiter asked pointedly.
The feline smile that covered Astarte’s face sent shivers up their spine. “My dear officer, as you can notice I am of half Japanese heritage, a hafu if you will. I am dressing in the traditional fashions of my people. The armor, the katana, and the wakizashi are all hallmarks of the samurai I am descended from. None of these are worn for anything beyond cultural heritage. And for that matter, my crew wear the same to honor my ancestry.”
The Arbiter sighed. Astarte’s defense, though blatantly false, was airtight. Arresting her now would only give her ammunition to legally strike back. And with the recent backlash of the Deathworlder crack down the Arbiter could doom Judge’s career. It had been a celebrated move of the last chief, but the knock-on effects of it had resulted in several months of rioting, looting, and political discourse in the heart of the Union. The last chief was forced to step down and Judge took his place and was still trying to reverse the damages. Which was hard with all the precincts fighting him on it. Those officers had too many friends torn apart by Terran criminals to ever let that grudge go.
“Then you may leave the arm behind and be one your way.” The Arbiter ordered.
Astarte blinked, “the arm?”
The Arbiter pointed to the severed arm still within the pirate’s grasp “That is evidence in an on going investigation. LEAVE. IT. BEHIND” The Arbiter explained, growling out the last words slowly. Just because Astarte had likely saved the Arbiter’s life with some quick thinking didn’t erase the fact that she was a person of interest/suspect in the same case.
Astarte glanced down at the severed arm and blinked as if surprised she was still holding it. Then tossed it carelessly onto the ground. “All yours, make sure to check for bugs before plugging it in.”
“Bugs?”
“Computer viruses hidden in its OS. Thing could have all sorts of things hidden within.”
“And how do you know?”
“I don’t. It’s just the sort of thing I would do myself. Try loading it onto a separate server. Oh, and check for small explosives.”
“Danm Deathworlders” the Arbiter growled as they now considered the severed arm on the ground next to a small splatter of Astarte’s blood. She was right, Deathworlders were known for their tricks and traps. Humans especially. During one investigation a load of seized morphine from an illegal clinic had been stored next to an unstable chemical that reacted poorly to the jostling of the transport and destroyed the evidence in a fiery explosion.
Astarte chuckled “Glass stones Arbiter.”
“What?”
“Glass stones, it’s a human malaphor of sorts. I’ll leave the details for you to figure out. Good luck with tracking down Zera, I’d recommend starting with the prison records on Union Station Parox.” She said as she turned aways and strode off. Walking in the opposite direction of the arriving officers, half of which were missing their weapons or shields.
The Arbiter let out a sigh as she observed the most incompetent idoits she had ever seen strut onto the lot without a care in the universe.
“You called us Sir.” The lead Voral said.
The Arbiter took in a deep breath “Yes I did. Ten minutes ago.”
“It was a long walk.” The officer said defensively, no care for the Arbiters growing anger.
“Its only a few hundred standard meters. But that doesn’t matter I encountered an assassin in the midst of their crime. That’s their arm.”
The Voral looked panicked and began to look from side to side.
The Arbiter felt an involuntary eye twitch and clenched her fist. “The assassin is gone.”
The Voral relaxed “So you want us to secure the evidence?” he asked.
That had been the Arbiters plan, but now seeing them mill about aimlessly they changed their mind. “No, secure the area and stay out of CSI’s way. Understood?”
The officer looked offended. “Sir, its just an arm. We don’t need to wait around for CSI, one of my men can bag it right now.”
Patience wearing thin the Arbiter marched right into the Voral’s face. The fact the Officer loomed over her by two meters did little to diminish the Arbiter’s menacing aura. “AM. I. UNDERSTOOD?”
“Yes Sir.” The cowed Voral officer answered with a nervous buzz of his wings.
“Then go.”
Ten minutes later six medium shuttles from the CSI unit, and two small shuttles from the ADCU were on the scene of the lot and in the alley where the Arbiter had stumbled upon Astarte. Edict and Prosecutor began to jump along the rooftops, recreating the assassin’s movements and collecting more evidence.
The assassin’s arm, and the dried sample of Astarte’s blood was collected. As well as fragments of what looked to be a broken glass eye with a micro camera.
They lost the assassin’s trail after they ducked into the inner hull of the station and escaped across the pipes, wires, and support structure of Unity.
Thirty minutes after that they departed for the central precinct. The Arbiter within the darkened confines of the ADCU shuttle felt safe enough to take off the hood. Caleb and Bartolv did the same. They noticed her pensive mood and didn’t disturb her.
It wasn’t lost on her that Astarte knew exactly who this assassin was. And if she hadn’t left those pretty blatant clues about how to identify her then then Rachel would be trying to acquire a warrant to bring her in for questioning. But that still left her with a lot of questions.
And despite the answers she might get, she had the sinking feeling it wouldn’t be enough to see the whole picture. How big was this whole thing?
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2023.06.09 05:59 1000000students SAUDIS

'Saudi Arabia First': Trump Lets Saudis Dictate US Foreign Policy--17 Saudia Arabian nationals executed 9/11 --At least 3000 Americans died and billions upon billions of damage to New York, the Pentagon and a plane nose diving in Pennsylvania on 9/11 FIRST RUSSIA NOW SAUDI ARABIA--DID TRUMP EVER HAVE ANY PLANS OF COLLUDING WITH AMERICA??
'Saudi Arabia First': Trump Lets Saudis Dictate US Foreign Policy--17 Saudia Arabian nationals executed 9/11 --At least 3000 Americans died and billions upon billions of damage to New York, the Pentagon and a plane nose diving in Pennsylvania on 9/11
  1. Trump chose Saudi Arabia for his first foreign presidential trip In May 2017
  2. Trump praised a Saudi blockade on Qatar--preventing the movement of goods and services to that country--why is this a big deal? Our Military has its largest Middle Eastern base in Qatar--Trump sided with another country against American interest--AGAIN!!!!!!!
  3. Trump resumed sales of precision-guided bombs to Saudi Arabia--They were suspended by Obama over concerns about civilian deaths from Saudi-led coalition airstrikes in Yemen, Which has been engulfed in the world’s largest humanitarian catastrophe.
  4. Trump steered clear of condemnation of Saudi conduct in Yemen war--hundreds of innocent civilains have been killed by Saudi bombs
  5. Trump And Pompeo Enabled A Saudi Cover-Up Of The Khashoggi Killing--Following the uproar over Khashoggi's disappearance in 2018, Trump tweeted that he had "no financial interests in Saudi Arabia." But--Trump bragged about his business dealings with the Saudis during a 2015 campaign rally in Mobile, Alabama--“They buy all sorts of my stuff. All kinds of toys from Trump. They pay me millions and hundred of millions"
  6. December 2018, Trump administration threatens to veto a UN resolution drafted by Britain demanding accountability for war crimes in the Yemen conflict and for Saudi Arabi
  7. Trump Administration approved transfer of sensitive nuclear technology to Saudi Arabia in two cases after Khashoggi's death--never mind that 17 Saudi citizens carried out 9/11 which killed thousands of Americans on home soil--details have been kept secret despite Congress demanding answers---WTF
  8. Trump blocked bipartisan congressional resolution demanding end of U.S military support for the Saudi-led genocidal war in Yemen
  9. Trump and Pompeo did not include Saudi Arabia on an annual blacklist of countries recruiting child soldiers
  10. Trump blocked 3 congressional bills that would have stopped over $8 billion in arms sales to Saudi Arabia
  11. Kushner may have offered valuable U.S. intelligence, that helped the crown prince to round up and torture dissidents in Saudi Arabia who opposed the goverment there--Saudi crown prince bragged that Jared Kushner gave him CIA intelligence about other Saudis saying 'here are your enemies' days before 'corruption crackdown' which led to torture and death https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5575395/Saudi-crown-prince-brags-Jared-Kushner-handed-U-S-intelligence.html
  12. The FBI reportedly stopped a Saudi plot to kidnap a YouTuber on US soil after he criticized Mohammed bin Salman over Jamal Khashoggi's killing https://www.businessinsider.com/fbi-thwarted-saudi-plot-kidnap-regime-critic-on-us-soil-2020-1
  13. Saudi Air Force member kills 3 at U.S. Navy base--Trump says nothing https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/saudi-air-force-member-who-killed-3-u-s-navy-n1097641
  14. Saudi royal family does seem to have a special relationship with Trump, who has repeatedly bucked bipartisan congressional majorities to block the Kingdom on topics ranging from its disastrous war in Yemen to the murder of Jamal Khashoggi.
  15. The manager of Trump’s hotel in New York credited a timely stay by members of the Saudi Crown Prince’s entourage (though not the prince himself) with lifting revenue there by 13 percent in one quarter of 2018--the bump came after two straight years of booking declines for the property
  16. Saudi lobbyists spent $260,000 at Trump’s hotel in DC back in December 2016 during the transition
  17. Saudi Kingdom itself spent $190,273 at Trump’s hotel in early 2017.
  18. Alwaleed bin-Talal, a member of the royal family purchased the 282-foot yacht "Princess" for $20 million in 1991 after the boat was repossessed from Trump (Trump was nearing bankruptcy at the time) And he sold it at a loss: $20 million. The Saudis also purchased Trump's financially troubled Plaza Hotel for $325 million in 1995
  19. In 2016, the New York Daily News reported that the Saudi government also purchased the entire 45th floor of the Trump World Tower, for $4.5 million, in June 2001. Given annual fee fares for the building at the time, Trump also was paid $5.7 million by the Saudis between the purchase and 2016, the paper reported.
  20. A real estate company Cadre partly owned by Trump and Kushner, has received $90 million from Saudi Arabia in 2018--how is this Fucking legal?
  21. Saudi Crown Prince--the guy who ordered the killing of American journalist Jamal Khassoggi, Boasted That Jared Kushner Was “In His Pocket”
  22. Embassy Staffers Say Jared Kushner Shut Them Out of Saudi Meetings--This is not how American foreign policy is conducted
  23. Saudi shooter in Florida air base attack had "significant ties" to al Qaeda yet somehow--he was allowed into the United States in 2017-- non-citizens are normally prohibited from buying handguns, He used a loophole to legally purchase his weapon from a dealer in Pensacola https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/saudi-air-force-member-who-killed-3-u-s-navy-n1097641
  24. 4 of Trump's 7 Vetoes Were To Protect The Saudis https://www.senate.gov/legislative/vetoes/TrumpDJ.htm
  25. Trump Bragged About Serving Up American Troops to Saudi Arabia for Nothing More Than Cash Conservative Rep. Justin Amash, who was a Republican until recently, responded to Trump’s remarks, saying, “He sells troops” https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-brags-about-serving-up-american-troops-to-saudi-arabia-for-cash-936623/
  26. Trump-Bro Julian Assange Outed Gays, HIV+ People, and Rape Victims in Places Where They Could Be Killed like Saudi Arabia-- WikiLeaks has leaked info on gay men in Saudi Arabia, which has the death penalty for homosexuality https://www.fastcompany.com/4017692/wikileaks-has-leaked-info-on-gay-men-in-saudi-arabia-which-has-the-death-penalty-for-homosexuality
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2023.06.09 05:56 Objective_Campaign82 Sins of the Father Ch35 (Hellworlder pirates 2)

The Battle You Can Never Win
Years ago, aboard a poorly maintained ship, in a dimly lit cargo hold with stained mats haphazardly thrown on the ground, a young girl glared at the old man before her. Her breath came in ragged heaves, her clothes were stained with sweat, and her exposed skin was covered in welts from the older mans bamboo blade. She was on the ground while the man was standing up straight, his breathing only slightly faster than normal but otherwise gave no hint that only moments before he had been swinging his practice sword like a demented blender.
The girl tried to stand but instead fell back down. “Why, the fuck are you making me do all this.” She growled at the man. Earning her a quick smack to the side for her foul mouth and impertinence. “Fuck!” she cursed, earning another strike in the process.
She continued to glare at the old bastard, most people usually flinched under her hateful glare. Especially the weak prey-like Xenos, they always coward at her wrath. But the old bastard didn’t. He just watched her with a calm and patient gaze.
The man was silent for a while before he sighed and looked to the pipes and looses wires along the ceiling. “You ask why I make you train? Why I push you unlike all the others? The better question is why you resist my teaching?” he looked down at her again. “You are taller than most men, you are naturally stronger than a girl has any right to be, and your fire is enough to melt iron. And yet you resist my attempts to polish those advantages. By all rights you should seek every chance to better yourself. And yet you don’t.”
“What’s the fuckin point? Like you said, I’m strong, and being already human makes me faster and tougher than everything out there. So what’s the point in training with stupid swords?”
He frowned, but didn’t strike her again for her foul mouth. “You are stronger than most creatures in this galaxy. But not all. The Kaydic are as strong as a grizzly, and if they get a good charge going they can pass through brick walls like they were wet paper. The Balikstro are faster on four legs than we can ever be on two. Any Uplifted Mammaloid could easily disembowel you with a careless swipe. And that isn’t mentioning the true monsters out there like the Aunviry.”
“Okay, yeah they’re all better. So what’s the point in training if they’re always going to be better than me? I’m only human.” She whined as she felt the growing bruise on her side.
“Because you don’t train for the battle that you can win, but for the battle that you’ll always lose. Because on those days the only thing that will keep you alive is training, good reflexes, and hardened combat experience. They are how you will win the battle you can never win.”
“That doesn’t make sense old man.” The girl snarked.
The air cracked, a brown sword blurred, and the girl let out a yelp as her ass was struck by a Shinai.
The old man who decided to be her mentor continued. “And the only way you get there is by training every day until your hands bleed and your legs give out.”
The girl glared at the old man, but she saw the sense in the words. Even if she hated the old man and his stupid sword. “Fine, but can we call it here. I have a cargo shift tomorrow.”
He looked down at her hands a tilted his head. “Your hands aren’t bleeding yet.” He said blandly as if remarking on the weather.
Daisey groaned, but got up anyways.
The old bastard Mizuno really did make her work until her hands began to bleed before letting her crawl off to her hammock in the sweltering space above the engine bay. She only got a few hours of sleep before the ship docked with the pirate capital and she had to spend the next ten hours moving cargo off the Black Saint.
And after that, when she had finally gotten to sit for a few minutes Mizuno found her and dragged her back to his ‘dojo’ for another round.
She had hated it at the time. Hated him. Hated the shitty rusty ship. Hated almost everyone one onboard. And hated those stupid bamboo swords.
But in time the pain paid off, and those skills that had been beaten into her the hard way saved her life when Greyson’s crazy bitch of a lieutenant tried to kill Daisey in some back alley on Parox. And later those same skills allowed her to best the men she had eventually called Sensei instead of Bastard.
~~~*~~~
It was strange to feel nostalgic for a time where everything sucked, and you hated everyone around you. But fighting Zera again brought back those bittersweet memories. She had hated Mizuno so much back then, but the man who had decided to mentor her eventually became one of the most influential figures in her life. Aster may hate her father and everything about him, but she couldn’t ever hate the heritage he had unwittingly tied her too. Because it was the same culture Mizuno had loved with all his heart. Warts and all.
Zera fought like a deranged beast. Slashing and stabbing with wild abandon. But while she had received some training to polish out her blind aggression, she never took Mizuno’s philosophy to heart. Greyson had ordered Mizuno to share his teaching with Zera just like he did with Daisey. But where Daisey, now Astarte, had accepted his ideas of training for the battle you’ll always lose top heart.
Zera hadn’t.
Zera learned how to cut better and how to save her strength. But once she had learned that she used her strength and youth to overpower Mizuno-sensei in sparring matches. While Daisey had restrained her own strength where she could so as to better learn Mizuno’s skill and techniques.
Even when after she had fought off Zera and took her spot as Greyson’s right hand she still trained until her hands bled. Even when she left the Terran Pirates and drifted around with her mother she trained. And when she met Karega and got a ship of her own she continued to train for the battle she would never win.
It was that mindset that let her finally surpass her old mentor during their final battle on the central Temple of Temple city. The very same mindset that let her match blows with a vile abomination like Kazlum and his brood. A literal battle she had no right ever winning. And it was the same teachings that she would use to beat this cyborg blast from the past.
Zera’s metal exterior was too tough for Astarte to cut. And it was highly unlikely that Astarte would ever exhaust her. But while she failed to land any actual wounds on her opponent, Zera the Butcher couldn’t land any on Astarte.
Zera aimed her mantis like blades at the kinks in Aster’s armor, but Aster’s reflexes and agility was enough to dodge and deflect Zera’s attacks.
But time was not on her side in this fight. Human endurance was legendary and superior to anything any other biological species could replicate. But no amount of sweat or anaerobic exertion would ever match the ceaseless movements of a machine.
Zera also had plenty of tricks hidden within her robotic limbs. The extra power in her legs had nearly bowled Astarte over when she triggered it as their blades were crossed. A third use had allowed her to dart to Astarte’s and strike at her thigh. Zera had found a kink in her armor, but a single step back had spared Astarte from any real damage.
Her leg felt warm and sticky as blood trailed down. But it was only a flesh wound and nothing that would hinder her mobility.
That attack had finally allowed Astarte to see exactly how Zera kept leaping forward. Somehow she was building up energy in her leg which could be released. A joint opened around where a bulging calf should have been and allowed her to double the length of her leg and gave her explosive forward momentum when used right. In the heat of battle Astarte couldn’t make heads or tails of the mechanism, she saw wires, tubes, and what looked like a hydraulic valve thing. She didn’t need to understand it at the moment though, right now knowing there was a way past the tough metal shell and into some more vulnerable internals was all that mattered.
The assassins’ arms also had a similar ability. But instead of explosively doubling the length of her arm Zera could have curved blade on her forearm launch forward in a powerful stabbing motion. Astarte dodged one of those attacks and saw the blade punch through the concrete of a nearby building. Zera had been stuck in the wall for only a second as she used the leg extension to pull her out and launch her back into melee with Astarte.
Zera also had a wider range of motion than Astarte was used to seeing in a human shoulder joint. When Astarte had rolled under a swing and came up for a slash at her exposed back the other arm was capable of swinging a full 180° backwards and deflecting her blow.
The way the arm had rotated in the joint had unnerved Astarte. She would have shivered in horror if had been given a moment to do so.
Those tricks had surprised Astarte the first time she saw them. And only quick thinking kept her alive. But once she saw them, she was capable of accounting for them and making her plans around them. She had fought enough alien opponents to know how to compensate for strange physiologies. The Aunviry for example had been far stranger to deal with than this borged-out human woman.
Sparks rang from their clashes and Astarte began to look for any more surprises. But as the fight stretched on Astarte began to suspect that Zera had already played her hand. And if she was reserving something then it was probably something she could only do once. With the factors accounted for, Astarte began to plan her actual counterattack, no more probing.
She couldn’t do much about the powerful arm attacks besides dodge, and couldn’t hope her armor could take the hit. The legs presented a weak point, but not one easy to get at. She would have to bait Zera into a launching attack and then sidestep fast enough to stab into her leg. A risky maneuver.
She thought about the full rotational ability in the arm joint. She didn’t know much about engineering, but she remembered some of Alwen’s lectures on the shoulder joint area after the Battle for the Confederacy. Alwen had to reset several bones in that region and she had taken the time to explain everything instead of just doing it. It was a complicated joint, and already prone to coming out of its socket. Did enhancing that range of motion come with any added structural weakness?
It was an idea.
As the fight drew on Astarte began to feel Zera speed up as her strikes became more and more sure. Astarte realized there was another blatant weakness that Zera had carried with her from the days she was fully human. Her mind.
Zera had a mercurial temper, plenty of triggers, and was highly unstable. And Astarte knew how to use all that to her advantage.
“You wanna know the funny part.” Astarte said in between blows. “Greyson didn’t even care that you were gone.” She taunted in between breaths. There was a reason most real combat didn’t have witty banter or heart felt speeches between foes. Every breath counted and wasting it on speaking was stupid. But she judged it to be worth the effort.
“Didn’t even question me about. Just said ‘Zera’s gone, now you will guard my back’” Astarte teased. “Then not even a week later I was second in command and got to sleep in his comfy bed.” She gave Zera a sloppy self-satisfied grin.
In reality Daisey hadn’t wanted to be Greyson’s guard, nor sleep in the same bed as a forty something man with the reputation for fucking anything with a hole and a heart beat. But she had little choice in the matter if she wanted to stay alive and keep working with the Terran Pirates.
The assassin’s eyes flared “And then you killed him like the deceptive whore you are!” she roared with another predicable jab.
“Of course I did, I refused to be the latest women he ruined and dumped into the gutter.” Astarte countered as she side stepped the blow. She was really glad Mizuno-sensei drilled her foot work so often, it was paying dividends at the moment. “Face it, your days were numbered. If it wasn’t me it would have been him.”
“LIAR!” Zera roared as she overextended again.
It didn’t offer Astarte the opening she looking for, so instead she went for a different sort of weak point. No matter how much her body changed there was one place that had to stay mostly organic.
No one fucked with the brain, not the Toy man, not the Union, and not the people who rebuilt Zera. It was too delicate to touch and far too complex. Just wiring in an advanced cybernetic eyeball to the optic nerve had caused a knock-on effect in Astarte’s head. And that was just a peripheral change.
The hilt of Tenken rammed into Zera’s face, smacking the same place she had dented earlier. There was a thud, like the sound of a dropped metal can, and then the sound of shattering glass. Zera stumbled back and put a hand up to her face where Astarte’s strike had warped the metal enough to loosen up her left eye out of its artificial eye socket. The eye had fallen and shattered at Astarte’s feet, and it now leaked a white fluid.
Zera looked up and Astarte saw the strange deformed metal plate of her face all scrunched up on one side. Half her lip was pulled up in a permanent smile while the more mobile part of her face scowled. She charged right back at Astarte and her right arm splint down the middle, Astarte saw the prongs of a stun weapon race towards her just as the other arm came up for a slash at her face. Astarte stood her ground, took the prongs, and lifted arm to intercept the blade.
The electricity didn’t feel like waves of fire like she had expected, but instead like all her muscles just got pulled at once. She felt her knees go weak as they wanted to buckle. But she gritted her teeth, remained on her feet, and took the pain. This was nothing compared to when she caught in that Egh’ahd sneak attack, nor when she fought Kazlum and had been bitch slapped across a whole room. This was a pain she could handle.
And compared to the electricity coursing through he the Mantis blade in her arm was nothing.
With one arm occupied in tasing her, and the other wedged into the bone of her forearm Astarte knew she wouldn’t get another chance like this. She grabbed the bladed arm with her other hand and with a twist of her hips, threw the Cyborg over her shoulder.
The assassin hit the ground with a thud and Astarte moved foot on her back.
The blade in her arm cut back upwards, got caught in the plates of her arm guard, and snapped off by the hinge. The pain in the arm grew too much to bear so she let that arm fall limp as her other arm held onto the assassin now beneath her feet and pulled. Zera let out a scream that hit the far range of human vocal cords and dipped into a sound only possible in dogs, dolphins, and machines. It even began to stutter like a corrupted audio file.
Even her voice was fake.
Then there was a pop and rip, and the arm came clean off.
Astarte stood there holding the still clothed arm in her hands as white fluids leaked out of the cyborgs open joint. Astarte glanced to the fake arm in her hands then down to the struggling cyborg, and with little hesitation lifted the arm and proceeded to beat the womans head in with her own arm.
Or she would have if a heavily distorted voice hadn’t interrupted her bludgeoning.
“FREEZE!”
Astarte turned to stare at the cloaked black figure of the Arbiter aiming a pulse rifle right at her.
Astarte then raised her hands above her head, still holding the prosthetic arm. “It was self defense” Astarte said to the unwavering gaze of the Arbiter. A flicker of her eye into the Ultraviolet showed the scowling face of a much-recovered Rachel glaring at both of them.
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2023.06.09 05:29 RuleThis2042 After 2 years in a rent-controlled unit, landlord requests a 25% rent increase

Seems like it's an old story at this point. I’ve read so many of them on reddit, wondering if it would happen to me, and it has. Emails are pasted below with identifying info removed.
First, I requested to have my wife added as a resident of the condo. Condo management kicked it back to my landlord for approval, which I didn’t think was required. Landlord tells me that they need to increase my rent due to their increased costs and financial troubles, sort of as an exchange to approve my wife’s occupancy, threatened to potentially occupy the unit themselves, however they moved overseas months ago. I’ve just refused, but I offered to help them out with a temporary payment outside of the tenancy agreement. Of course I’d like to continue living here. The emails fill in the details up to now. Looking for advice.
_________
Hello,
Congratulations on your marriage.
The first step is for us to receive approval from your landlord to add your wife as an additional resident in the unit. They are copied here and can do a “reply-All” to this email, or they may provide a Lease Amendment if they wish.
When we receive their approval, then we will send you the registration forms and information to get your wife setup on the system.
Thank-you.
Sincerely,
Property Administrator
__________
Thank you property administrator, Hi Landlord, I hadn't mentioned this because my understanding is that it's only for logistics at the condo (picking up packages, calling security, management etc.) After reviewing the LTB's Landlords, Tenants, Occupants and Residential Tenancies Interpretation Guideline 21 and seeking professional advice, I determined that my wife is considered a "spouse of the tenant" and occupant of the unit, but there's no requirement for her to be on the lease. The legal relationship of landlord-tenant remains between you and me. I hope to have your blessing to ease this process with the condo management.
All the best, Tenant
_________
Dear Tenant, First of all, I wanted to extend my heartfelt congratulations on your recent marriage. I sincerely wish you and your spouse a lifetime of happiness together. I am writing to discuss an important matter regarding the approval of your spouse as a resident in our system. While you are correct about the existing rules and regulations, I would like to request a favor before granting this approval. During my vacation overseas, I received the unfortunate news that I have been diagnosed with cancer. As a result, I had to prolong my stay here to undergo treatment. This unexpected turn of events has had a significant impact on my businesses in Canada, causing a disruption in my income. Furthermore, I have been faced with increased maintenance expenses and mortgage costs, which have put me in a financially burdening situation. Given these circumstances, I must reluctantly ask you to consider an increase in rent. Let me clarify that I have never requested a rent increase beyond the guidelines set by the government. Our longstanding relationship and the fact that you have been living alone have been key factors in maintaining our good rapport over the years. However, considering the current situation, it has become unavoidable to raise the rent or consider moving into the unit myself. I am hopeful that with your recent marriage and the added financial support from your spouse, you would be able to assist me by paying the revised rent amount. I want to emphasize that this decision has not been made lightly, and I understand the inconvenience it may cause you. The proposed new rent amount is $2700.00, effective from July 1st, 2023. This revised amount takes into account the increased maintenance expenses and mortgage costs that I am currently facing. To provide you with further context, I have attached information on the recent rental prices of neighboring units. This data shows that the offered amount is both reasonable and below the current market price. I genuinely value you as a tenant and appreciate the care you have taken of the property throughout your tenancy. I understand that this rent increase may impact your budget, and I am more than willing to address any concerns or questions you may have. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding in this matter. Sincerely, Landlord
__________
Hello Landlord,
I'd like to say again that I'm sorry to hear about your health and business challenges. I have close family and friends with cancer. I know how painful that has been for my loved ones. And, like you, my wife and I are adjusting to higher mortgage costs on a property while our income has not kept pace. For that reason, I must decline your request for a 24.1% increase in rent following a 2.5% increase two months ago.
A tenancy agreement contract comes with risk for both parties, and I had to factor that risk into my financial plan. I sought a rent controlled unit to mitigate it. I believe that rent controls in Ontario exist to protect renters from sudden increases in rent. They are not to be simply dismissed when the landlord wants to pass their unexpected financial burden onto their tenant.
I'm not sure if you were implying a quid pro quo: approval of my wife's occupancy in exchange for increased rent. I may have understood that, but that would be inappropriate under the law and its interpretation in Ontario. My apologies if I misunderstood. I am also concerned about you stating that a key factor in our “good rapport” is my residing alone in the unit. I pay for the right to occupy the unit, and as long as I don't violate overcrowding bylaws, I may have other occupants. The law is quite clear on this. I believe that the good rapport we have shared is based on each of us fulfilling our obligations under the contract, our courteous and timely communication, and our willingness to help one another on occasion beyond the terms of our contract.
I hope to share my perspective with you in the next two paragraphs. Though you may see your previous rent increases to the guideline maximum as a good faith gesture, I see them as simply following the law. In fact, you increased the rent as much as you possibly could. A good faith gesture would have been an increase below the guideline or no rent increase at all. I write this not because I expected zero rent increase, but so you understand what I hear when you say, "Let me clarify that I have never requested a rent increase beyond the guidelines set by the government." You are stating that you've never requested something that you are not allowed to request, which I don’t consider to be a favour. Now you are requesting that very thing.
I acknowledge and appreciate that you have never invaded my privacy, and you have always been respectful in your communication with me. I have given you that, and more. I have gone beyond my responsibilities as a tenant on many occasions, saving you money by avoiding the need for expensive contractors and property management. You’ve only sent someone once: a plumber after I spent my time and money trying to fix the problem. As far as I know, you’ve only been to the unit once yourself during my tenancy, which was with the plumber. When the unit above leaked and destroyed the front closet, you never came. I dealt with building management, and I donated my labour to fix the water damage to the wall and the coat rack. I have repaired and repainted all the walls of your unit with the original paint at my expense. I have stripped and re-caulked your bathtub because it was growing mould and had gaps that were allowing water to get under the tub. There have been other issues that I can assure you other landlords would have been called to address: HVAC problems, neighbouring balcony leaking problems, clogged drains, noise problems and more. You dismissed your property manager and moved to the other side of the globe. If that’s not recognition of the value I provide you, I’m not sure what is. I think our good rapport is based on my many gifts to you in the form of my time and money. It is based on me dealing with problems that landlords are legally responsible for.
Your request to increase my rent by nearly 25% with 23 days notice of the first new payment is inappropriate in the extreme. It is 10 times the annual rent increase guideline. It follows a rent increase of 2.5% only two months ago. And, it's 1/4 of the minimum 90 days notice for a legal rent increase. I realize this is a request, not a notice, nevertheless it is an enormous increase with little warning, and it’s attached to the threat that you will evict me if I don't agree. It is an unreasonable demand that puts me under duress, and that would cause me undue hardship. I also have no guarantee that you would not do the same thing again later if I acceded to your demand.
Ultimately, I understand and respect your right to occupy your unit. I imagine that you understand and respect my need to verify that occupancy for the required period after my hypothetical eviction. I am in a position to verify who is living there, whether the unit is rented again or not, and to pursue any legal action that would follow.
With all that said, if you would allow me to do a detailed review of your finances, I would consider agreeing to a rent increase. This would have to occur with at least 90 days notice, in accordance with a legal rent increase.
Alternatively, I would be amenable to a temporary extra monthly payment to help you get through these difficult health and business circumstances. There would be no change to our tenancy agreement. We could at both parties’ discretion revise and renew the agreement at the end of its period. I would be happy to put such an agreement into writing.
I would like us to speak on the phone or an online platform like WhatsApp because I feel we can come to an agreement that is legal and beneficial to us both. I fear that a contentious end to our relationship would be very taxing financially, emotionally, and time-wise. Nevertheless, I believe strongly in what is right, in my rights as a tenant, and in your responsibilities as a landlord. I am prepared to see whatever process we enter to the very end.
Regards,
Tenant
submitted by RuleThis2042 to legaladvicecanada [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 04:58 Quirky-Bug359 When do we stop being scared?

I’m 7dpo and the zip up sports bra is killing me. It’s so freaking uncomfortable to have to have to wear it 24/7. I went to target to try and find some softer sports bras / support bras but they weren’t front zip ones. It was the regular kind you pull over your head.
Well I went to the try on rooms and nearly had a panic attack. I had to lift my arms to try and pull it down and I started to sweat thinking I was going to pop a stitch. (I have that medical tape that’ll peal off and it’s own plus dissolvable stitches)
When did you stop panicking about opening a stitch? I know it’s so early in my post op life and I need to chill out. Anyway, when did you all stop freaking out?
submitted by Quirky-Bug359 to Reduction [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 04:48 Routine_Butterfly_68 crowd disappointment / general disrespect - phoenix

hey all. i attended the phoenix show a few days ago and had kind of an abysmal experience with the crowd and people there (and venue) so wanted to vent briefly + share my experience + thoughts (if that’s allowed).
i wanted to be near the front of pit, so i got to the venue around 10:30am and ended up being 75th in line. some people near the front were passing around a sharpie and we were doing our own little number system (which we weren’t expecting the venue to honor, it was more so people could leave the line and come back). anyways the waiting was fine — everyone ahead of me was super nice, a ton of people were passing out water bc of the phx heat, and the venue let us in to go to the bathroom and refill water bottles.
the main issues came when we started to get into the actual security lines an hour before doors - there wasn’t a lot of communication, and a bunch of people cut the line completely and were like “your numbers don’t mean anything now do they 🤣” and were just generally extremely nasty.
the venues method was extremely disorganized - we fought our way thru five different security lines, there was no separate line for bag check, and we had to go to another table inside to get pit wristbands. then, we didn’t know where to go, so half of us went to a door on the left and half went to a door on the right. i was like 10th in my line, but they opened the other door way earlier, so when we got in, the barricade was full alrwady (and people in line with me who had been there all night didn’t get it).
i got a spot in the second or third row right in between lucy and juliens spots. then things proceeded to get worse. i’m approx 6ft tall when wearing my docs (which i obv was) and some shorter girls stood behind me and immediately started complaining. they were saying they were going to hit me in the head and elbow me once the show started, and repeatedly kept saying how much they hated tall people. every time i would slightly turn my head, one of them would lift up their phone and i felt like they were taking pictures of me. i have no idea if they were but it was miserable and i have no idea where those pictures are now which scares me.
once the show started, it was mostly all good. bartees was good and the boys were awesome, but during the entire show there was one or two people near me (on barricade) who were screaming at the top of their lungs every single word, so i could barely hear the artists. i get being excited, and singing along, because singing along is one of the reasons i typically love the pit. but this was just screaming, and it never stopped. except it did stop during please stay and favor! the pit was genuinely absolutely silent during favor i was the only one singing and it made me kind of mad. i also got pushed back to fourth/fifth row during the show because someone elbowed their way thru near the end and then was touching me the whole time.
this all mainly boils down to lack of concert etiquette, and i know it’s mostly the phoebe fans because when i saw lucy last october i got there 1.5 hrs before doors and got barricade, and everyone was really nice and i never felt stressed or pushed like i did on tuesday. there’s not much i can do about it but i just wanted to share my experience. the screaming and then the phones being held way up in the air were mainly my problem, because i’m tall and i still couldn’t see much. if you’re in the first or second row, you don’t need to hold ur phone over ur head and block the entire crowd. that’s just my opinion tho!
the boys were still awesome, and i’m excited to see them again in the fall and be a bit more removed from that action - i’m lucky i get that opportunity for a redo <3
submitted by Routine_Butterfly_68 to boygenuis [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 04:14 SnooPets9021 Bridesmaid causing stress - vent

One of my bridesmaids, my cousin who I’m very close with, is driving me a little crazy. And I hate typing that because I love her to death.
She’s in an open relationship, which is great and seems to work for her. We had an engagement party with all the wedding party members a few months ago and she hit it off with a groomsman, who is also in an open relationship. Great, awesome, good for them. I’m all for good people sharing good times as long as it’s consensual. They hooked up. It didn’t go well.
Apparently his partner was upset from the beginning. Now my cousin tells me that her partner is also upset, after the fact. Apparently her partner is considering not even coming to the wedding now (which is unfortunate because I really like her) and I’m getting the sense that she (my cousin’s partner) blames me. Which I guess is fine if she needs somewhere to place blame that isn’t herself or her partner. But it’s a little frustrating because I never wanted or encouraged them to get together and it has caused some tension within my own relationship because FH is not a fan of the situation at all. Apparently his groomsmen is also claiming that he “caught feelings” for my bridesmaid. Which is also frustrating because as I understood it, they are both emotionally committed to their partners but have situations where they can sleep with others in a purely physical context. So it’s none of my business but he keeps dragging my FH into it by venting to him and then my FH is all tense but doesn’t want to talk to me about it because it involves my cousin.
Now we have a bacheloette coming up where we are renting a place in the city near us with all the bridal party members. My cousin is stressing out about everything from the cost, to what everyone will eat and when, to what appliances and dish-ware will be in the house. My partner and I are covering significant portions of the cost and planning energy - we are buying all the food and alcohol to stock the rental house for the weekend, we found and rented the location and house with approval and input from the group, FH will be cooking dinner for everyone on the first night. My sister (MOH) is putting together a weekend plan that is specific enough that we have a few options for meals, activities, and entertainment without it being so stringent that everyone will feel forced into activities they might not enjoy or be able to afford. My stance from the beginning is that if anyone can’t or doesn’t want to participate in anything for any reason, there’s no judgment from us.
One bridesmaid declined to attend completely due to other commitments, a groomsman will be leaving early due to a work thing, and a few people have opted out of certain activities that they aren’t interested in or don’t want to pay for, which is more than fine. It’s a group of 20 total so my hope is that splitting up into smaller groups won’t be weird.
Months ago my cousin told me that she wanted to take a more significant role in the planning and was prepared to take on larger costs because she’s a few years older than me and my siste MOH and can handle additional responsibilities.
She just called me and had a lot of vague concerns about “everyone’s” ability to stay fed and hydrated and well rested through the whole weekend. She doesn’t know the rest of the group. So far, everyone has told me and my MOH that they’re down for the plans that have been proposed (which include a ba club night - something I specifically requested). Most of my friends and I are all in our mid-20’s and enjoy city nightlife (maybe because we feel COVID stole our early 20’s? Idk.) My cousin wants to change all the plans around and keeps saying that she thinks we (me, my partner, and my MOH) “don’t understand how to plan for such a large group” and that we “don’t realize that everyone will get cranky if they’re too tired or hungry”.
We have built in rest time to the schedule, all meals, and as I said, FH and I are buying all the groceries/ food to have in the house for the weekend.
It feels like she basically wants to sleep and lounge around a box of pizza all weekend. Now she’s giving me one word answers and silence so I can tell she’s upset. Our plans were communicated months ago and she kept saying she was totally on board and that she wants to make sure the weekend is “everything I want it to be.” But now it feels like if we do anything other than what she wants, she’ll be upset.
My general feeling is that we are all adults, not 5 year olds, and if someone needs time or wants to opt out of an activity they can do that. A number of people already have, so I feel like I’m not being unreasonable. Everyone else has praised us on how this whole thing seems so fun and feels so inclusive and welcoming.
But who knows. Maybe I’m a bridezilla who shouldn’t ever want to have fun in my life.
submitted by SnooPets9021 to weddingdrama [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 04:12 RuleThis2042 After 2 years in a rent-controlled unit, landlord requests a 25% rent increase

Seems like it's an old story at this point. I read so many of them on reddit, wondering if it would happen to me, and it has. I'll just paste the emails here with identifying info removed. Wish me luck. I'd appreciate any advice if you can. This is obviously a throwaway account.
First, I requested to have my wife added as a resident to the condo this week:
_________
Hello,
Congratulations on your marriage.
The first step is for us to receive approval from your landlord to add your wife as an additional resident in the unit. They are copied here and can do a “reply-All” to this email, or they may provide a Lease Amendment if they wish.
When we receive their approval, then we will send you the registration forms and information to get your wife setup on the system.
Thank-you.
Sincerely,
Property Administrator
__________
Thank you property administrator, Hi Landlord, I hadn't mentioned this because my understanding is that it's only for logistics at the condo (picking up packages, calling security, management etc.) After reviewing the LTB's Landlords, Tenants, Occupants and Residential Tenancies Interpretation Guideline 21 and seeking professional advice, I determined that my wife is considered a "spouse of the tenant" and occupant of the unit, but there's no requirement for her to be on the lease. The legal relationship of landlord-tenant remains between you and me. I hope to have your blessing to ease this process with the condo management.
All the best, Tenant
_________
Dear Tenant, First of all, I wanted to extend my heartfelt congratulations on your recent marriage. I sincerely wish you and your spouse a lifetime of happiness together. I am writing to discuss an important matter regarding the approval of your spouse as a resident in our system. While you are correct about the existing rules and regulations, I would like to request a favor before granting this approval. During my vacation overseas, I received the unfortunate news that I have been diagnosed with cancer. As a result, I had to prolong my stay here to undergo treatment. This unexpected turn of events has had a significant impact on my businesses in Canada, causing a disruption in my income. Furthermore, I have been faced with increased maintenance expenses and mortgage costs, which have put me in a financially burdening situation. Given these circumstances, I must reluctantly ask you to consider an increase in rent. Let me clarify that I have never requested a rent increase beyond the guidelines set by the government. Our longstanding relationship and the fact that you have been living alone have been key factors in maintaining our good rapport over the years. However, considering the current situation, it has become unavoidable to raise the rent or consider moving into the unit myself. I am hopeful that with your recent marriage and the added financial support from your spouse, you would be able to assist me by paying the revised rent amount. I want to emphasize that this decision has not been made lightly, and I understand the inconvenience it may cause you. The proposed new rent amount is $2700.00, effective from July 1st, 2023. This revised amount takes into account the increased maintenance expenses and mortgage costs that I am currently facing. To provide you with further context, I have attached information on the recent rental prices of neighboring units. This data shows that the offered amount is both reasonable and below the current market price. I genuinely value you as a tenant and appreciate the care you have taken of the property throughout your tenancy. I understand that this rent increase may impact your budget, and I am more than willing to address any concerns or questions you may have. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding in this matter. Sincerely, Landlord
__________
Hello Landlord,
I'd like to say again that I'm sorry to hear about your health and business challenges. I have close family and friends with cancer. I know how painful that has been for my loved ones. And, like you, my wife and I are adjusting to higher mortgage costs on a property while our income has not kept pace. For that reason, I must decline your request for a 24.1% increase in rent following a 2.5% increase two months ago.
A tenancy agreement contract comes with risk for both parties, and I had to factor that risk into my financial plan. I sought a rent controlled unit to mitigate it. I believe that rent controls in Ontario exist to protect renters from sudden increases in rent. They are not to be simply dismissed when the landlord wants to pass their unexpected financial burden onto their tenant.
I'm not sure if you were implying a quid pro quo: approval of my wife's occupancy in exchange for increased rent. I may have understood that, but that would be inappropriate under the law and its interpretation in Ontario. My apologies if I misunderstood. I am also concerned about you stating that a key factor in our “good rapport” is my residing alone in the unit. I pay for the right to occupy the unit, and as long as I don't violate overcrowding bylaws, I may have other occupants. The law is quite clear on this. I believe that the good rapport we have shared is based on each of us fulfilling our obligations under the contract, our courteous and timely communication, and our willingness to help one another on occasion beyond the terms of our contract.
I hope to share my perspective with you in the next two paragraphs. Though you may see your previous rent increases to the guideline maximum as a good faith gesture, I see them as simply following the law. In fact, you increased the rent as much as you possibly could. A good faith gesture would have been an increase below the guideline or no rent increase at all. I write this not because I expected zero rent increase, but so you understand what I hear when you say, "Let me clarify that I have never requested a rent increase beyond the guidelines set by the government." You are stating that you've never requested something that you are not allowed to request, which I don’t consider to be a favour. Now you are requesting that very thing.
I acknowledge and appreciate that you have never invaded my privacy, and you have always been respectful in your communication with me. I have given you that, and more. I have gone beyond my responsibilities as a tenant on many occasions, saving you money by avoiding the need for expensive contractors and property management. You’ve only sent someone once: a plumber after I spent my time and money trying to fix the problem. As far as I know, you’ve only been to the unit once yourself during my tenancy, which was with the plumber. When the unit above leaked and destroyed the front closet, you never came. I dealt with building management, and I donated my labour to fix the water damage to the wall and the coat rack. I have repaired and repainted all the walls of your unit with the original paint at my expense. I have stripped and re-caulked your bathtub because it was growing mould and had gaps that were allowing water to get under the tub. There have been other issues that I can assure you other landlords would have been called to address: HVAC problems, neighbouring balcony leaking problems, clogged drains, noise problems and more. You dismissed your property manager and moved to the other side of the globe. If that’s not recognition of the value I provide you, I’m not sure what is. I think our good rapport is based on my many gifts to you in the form of my time and money. It is based on me dealing with problems that landlords are legally responsible for.
Your request to increase my rent by nearly 25% with 23 days notice of the first new payment is inappropriate in the extreme. It is 10 times the annual rent increase guideline. It follows a rent increase of 2.5% only two months ago. And, it's 1/4 of the minimum 90 days notice for a legal rent increase. I realize this is a request, not a notice, nevertheless it is an enormous increase with little warning, and it’s attached to the threat that you will evict me if I don't agree. It is an unreasonable demand that puts me under duress, and that would cause me undue hardship. I also have no guarantee that you would not do the same thing again later if I acceded to your demand.
Ultimately, I understand and respect your right to occupy your unit. I imagine that you understand and respect my need to verify that occupancy for the required period after my hypothetical eviction. I am in a position to verify who is living there, whether the unit is rented again or not, and to pursue any legal action that would follow.
With all that said, if you would allow me to do a detailed review of your finances, I would consider agreeing to a rent increase. This would have to occur with at least 90 days notice, in accordance with a legal rent increase.
Alternatively, I would be amenable to a temporary extra monthly payment to help you get through these difficult health and business circumstances. There would be no change to our tenancy agreement. We could at both parties’ discretion revise and renew the agreement at the end of its period. I would be happy to put such an agreement into writing.
I would like us to speak on the phone or an online platform like WhatsApp because I feel we can come to an agreement that is legal and beneficial to us both. I fear that a contentious end to our relationship would be very taxing financially, emotionally, and time-wise. Nevertheless, I believe strongly in what is right, in my rights as a tenant, and in your responsibilities as a landlord. I am prepared to see whatever process we enter to the very end.
Regards,
Tenant
submitted by RuleThis2042 to TorontoRenting [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 04:02 FinkMusic Parking a Truck downtown.

Was wondering if anyone knew where I could park a work truck near 17th ave and 8th street sw. Over night parking (8pm-6am)
It's a 3500 but is registered above the "light truck" weight and is therefore considered too heavy. It erks me as I see 20ft box trucks parked along my street, or big lifted dually 3500's that are much much larger than my work truck.
Is there an exemptionor permit I can apply for?
If not; Is there a spot downtown that I could park regularly?
Do I need to park on truck routes?
Trying to avoid adding 2 hrs travel time to my work days.
TIA🛻🛻
submitted by FinkMusic to Calgary [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:23 Irohsteadcf 26 [M4F] #NYC explore around the city maybe ?

Been a smidge lonely lately and figured Reddit might be able help. Essentially looking to have fun around the city with a cutie. Some type of consistent fwb would be nice. Movie nights , museums, sending shitty memes, going out dancing (can’t dance lol) are up on the menu and more!
I work in LI but live near Manhattan. I like to stay active by lifting or playing basketball. Defiantly consider myself a foodie(Middle eastern, Italian, Spanish food are some of my favorite). I’m traveling to Spain this summer for the first time and can’t wait to stuff my face. Like everyone else I enjoy listening to music and watching shows. Always Sunny, The boys, GoT, better call Saul to name a few. Artist from Van Hallen, Linkin Park, Nas , Fred again, Pink Floyd. Highly open to suggestion cause who doesn’t need new music/shows am I right? I like weed, sneakers, sour candy and game a little too.
I’m 5’9 177lbs athletic build with black hair, brown eyes and a beard.
Ideally I’m looking for someone who is 24+ hwp. Please send a pic I’ll send one back! Tell me about yourself too!
submitted by Irohsteadcf to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:49 Vision-Quest-9054 The Forgotten Family

The Forgotten Family
By Vision-Quest-9054
With trembling hands, Liam gingerly lifted his father’s reading glasses off the surface of the small upstairs office desk. He knew he couldn’t keep his father, Gordon, waiting very long lest he fly into another rage. Gordon’s request was simple: retrieve the glasses within ten seconds or face the consequences. With his arms stretched out before him and both hands cupped together, holding the reading glasses, the pale-faced twelve-year-old boy descended the narrow staircase. “It’s all right,” He reassured himself. “It’s just a few steps down. I won’t fall this time.” Liam took another cautious step. And another. The musty odor of rotted wood and decay permeated the air with each creak of wood. The last five steps were in sight, giving the boy a sign of relief. The relief was short-lived when Liam’s left foot fell upon a small wet slippery patch of mildew, throwing him off balance. With a shriek, the boy painfully tumbled down the staircase and onto the main hardwood floor. Dazed and throbbing with pain from head to toe, Liam slowly raised himself up from the ground to meet his father’s furious gaze.“You careless little shit! Look what you’ve done!” Liam’s father, Gordon, pointed to the broken glasses on the dusty wooden floor. “You never take care of people’s possessions! You’re wreckless…!” “It was an accident!” Liam attempted to plead with him only to be sharply interrupted. “No, it wasn’t; there are no accidents in my home! I do not tolerate carelessness!” Gordon grabbed Liam by the ear and dragged him outside to a wooden shed in a barren corner of the backyard. “This will only hurt a little!” A smile formed across Gordon’s olive-skinned face as he tore off Liam’s shirt and seized a horsewhip before lashing out. “Please. No.” The boy pleaded in a weak sobbing voice as he hugged a nearby tree and forced his eyes shut. His cries of pain echoed to heaven as the whip tore into his bare flesh. To distract himself from the pain, he reminisced of the good past times when his mother was there to watch over him. There was also the soft, comforting nature of his sister, Marija (Maria), who was always there to console him amid physical discipline. His mother and father had been divorced for some years. Unlike many abusive fathers and husbands, Gordon was not an abuser of drugs or alcohol. Because of this, Liam had difficulty identifying the root cause of his father’s violent temper. He wasn’t sure if it was a form of mental illness or a history of intergenerational abuse. He recalled the time when Sonja, the wife, and mother of the family, was forced to leave. Liam remembered her tearful departure from their home. By their old countries’ laws, it was required for a father to retain custody of his children in any divorce proceeding. The loss of Sonja was a devastating blow to Liam’s morale. Tearfully gritting through the pain, he asked himself why these laws remained mandatory, for he did not understand the court ruling in Gordon’s favor. Why was it upholding such archaic separation policies? He longed for his mother’s touch, warmth, comfort, and protection from harm.
When the flogging was finished, Gordon put the whip in its place near the shed and glared once more at Liam. The boy fought back the tears in his eyes as his heavier middle-aged father seized him by the shoulders and pushed him against a tree. Liam winced as his lacerated skin clung to the bark. “You’re staying outside! Toughen up and stay put. That should learn ya.” With a grunt, Gordon wiped the sweat from his jet-black hair and mustache before shuffling back into their small, dilapidated home. Liam staggered forward to gather an old, dirtied shirt strewn across the tiny backyard to replace the previous one Gordon had just torn from him. Though It was one of his father’s more oversized shirts, it would have to suffice against the freezing crisp evening air. Struggling to fit himself into the dirty rag amidst the painful sting of his open back wounds clashing with the cold breeze, he shifted his woeful gaze towards his once vibrant family house. The house was practically a cottage, with only three main rooms. The tiny office space located in an upstairs loft was Gordon’s space. Beside his desk lay a small cot for him to rest upon. Liam and his sister, Marija, shared a filthy blanket on the hard floor near the main entrance. The last room was the kitchen. There was a broken outhouse behind the cottage for toiletry usage. The family had lived an impoverished lifestyle ever since Liam was born. Sonja managed to work for a minimum wage, while Gordon could not hold down a job due to his violent outbursts in the workplace. Once their mother was separated from the family, living conditions deteriorated even further. Food and clean water became ever more scarce with each passing day. Liam and Marija’s misery, including inadequate food and shelter, was compounded further by their father’s physically abusive nature. Once their mother was forced to leave, the beatings became almost routine.
“Are you okay?” Liam flinched as a familiar voice abruptly ended his thoughts. Marija’s soft gaze met with her brother’s. The ten-year-old girl’s blonde hair shifted in the breeze as her gentle blue eyes welled up in tears. “I’m not okay!” Liam choked as he, too, broke into tears. The siblings shared a sympathetic embrace until Liam broke the silence. “We have to get out of here.” “Oh no! Don’t do it!” Maria begged him frantically. “ You know what Father would do to you if you tried to do that. Last time when you tried to run away, the police caught you and brought you back here. Father was outraged! I thought he was going to kill you!” “I know,” Liam began. “But we can’t stay here forever. You must come with me! I can’t go alone.” Marija gave him a skeptical look as he continued. “We have to stay together, Marija, even if it means running away! We can’t go on living like this.” “No, I won’t do it.” She refused. “Father will really punish me. He will do the same to you.”
A foreboding memory entered Liam’s mind at that instant. Yes, he remembered it all too well. The flight from home, the missing person report filed by one of the ‘good neighbors’ to the local authorities, the manhunt, Liam’s capture, and the agonizing torment inflicted upon him by his father as a reward. As if reading his mind, Marija shuddered with fear. “Father spoke of the many punishments I would suffer too if you ran away again. Just think of what he’ll do if he catches both of us. The neighbors in our village keep watching us. They wait for us to move because they always side with father. They always hated us just like they hate Mother for leaving Father behind.” “Shit.” Liam cursed while banging his clenched fist against the dirt ground. Marija put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I guess you’re right.” He conceded. “If we ran away, the police would bring us right back.” “Let’s go gather some firewood,” Marija suggested.
The brother and sister’s crunching footsteps through the fallen leaves broke the silence of the quiet forest as they ventured several meters beyond their property. The outer layer of the forest was ripe with dead branches strewn across the forest floor. A shard of dried brittle bark was perfect for kindling. Gordan had returned outside to keep watch over the children. Perched in a rocking chair, he smiled as he struck a match against the sole of his shoes to light a cigar. With a few puffs of smoke into the dusk air, he reclined in his seat while maintaining a menacing gaze. Peering over her shoulder with bundled sticks in her arms, Maria shook her head. “Father will always watch us like a hawk. I could never run away.” The cold crisp air stung Liam’s cheeks as he gathered firewood. The sound of trees shifting and shuffling in the slow breeze juxtaposed with dark overcast clouds provoked an almost disquieting ambiance. A growing sense of dread slowly worked its way into Liam’s chest. “Why should this evening be any different from any other typical evening?” He thought to himself.
Darkness had fully set in. With a sigh, Liam looked into the fire they had built; it's radiating luminescence gave him a sense of comfort and warmth. It did not cause harm unless touched. Rather than fear or rage, the entity was known for its stoic nature against adverse conditions. To him, it was almost like a distant friend. “You and I, we are alike.” Liam struggled to divert his focus towards the flames, away from the rippling pangs of hunger in his belly, the sight of Gordan greedily finishing a cooked fish fillet, and his sister shivering in the breeze. “No food, no shelter, and no clean water for you for the rest of the night!” Growled Gordon as he approached the doorway of the cottage. Marija nervously followed him since she was allowed to sleep inside that night.
Liam shivered in the cold night air as Gordan shut the door with a bang. Starvation was nothing new to him. The small family was forced to fast from meals almost every day intermittently. Liam closed his eyes and shielded his face against the frigid air with both arms. Despite being exposed to the harsh hands of nature, he knew he would not be subjected to his father’s excoriating demeanor or his brutish chastisements in this temporary environment. Here, in the presence of nature, he could find a place of refuge. Finally drifting into a dream state, he found solace in his temporary departure from the real world. The visions he saw contained imagery of long-past memories almost forgotten, memories of his mother, Sonja’s intervention in times of distress. These visions were often interrupted by an overshadowing figure, a creature of practically enormous proportion that lacked any distinguishing features upon its form. It was initially difficult to decipher this being’s nature and purpose. The creature was truly amorphous in its appearance and was solely defined by a malevolent blackness that composed its entire form. It descended upon his parents with incredible swiftness and agility. The being enveloped Gordon, transforming his outer appearance to that of a raving madman, foaming at the mouth. His eyes changed from black to gray, then to a reddish-blue tint. Overcome with a fit of rage, he attacked Sonja with a stone and proceeded to bludgeon her to death. Liam pleaded for Gordon to stop but to no avail. The specter departed from Gordon and approached Liam with a summoning voice. “There is nothing left. Take refuge in me.” Though petrified with horror and trepidation, Liam found the tone of its voice alluring for reasons unknown. In its inhuman voice, he found purpose, however incredulous that may have seemed to him at first. Liam had witnessed this recurring nightmare since he was three years old. The increasing frequency of this dream coincided with his father’s growing cruelty over the years. He hypothesized that this nightmare was, in fact, a cruel joke played upon him by his subconscious mind, given its constant interaction with the outside world. Its poor interpretation of his adverse social environment was quite unreassuring at best.
The sharp crack of a twig caused Liam to jolt awake from his near-unconscious state. He sat upright to observe his surroundings. Squinting throw the darkness, he could make out the silhouetted figure of his sister in the moonlight. Marija rushed over to Liam and sat by his side.“I brought you some food.” She said in a soft low voice. “Where did you get it?!”Liam inquired. “I stole it from a neighbor’s house.” She explained. “Don’t ask me how I did it! Just take the food that I brought you.” Marija dropped a small sack next to Liam and hurried away. Liam unwrapped the food sack to find a loaf of bread, an apple, a baked potato, a vine of grapes, and a small slice of cake. Overcome with relief and hunger; he eagerly ate every bite. Finishing the meal, he turned on his side to feel a soft blanket beside him. “Bless you, Marija.” Liam thought with a smile while unfolding the blanket and wrapping himself in it. The overhead moonlight slowly faded behind the oncoming black clouds.
The following day, Liam awoke with a sudden jerk. Gordon was holding Liam by the arm. “Happiness and warmth all night, huh? When I gave her strict orders to stay inside, your sister brought you food and a blanket!” The older man cried out in anger. Gordon back-handed Liam across the face and dropped him. He marched into the cottage and returned with Marija, dragging her by the hair. The girl begged, pleaded, and screamed as Gordon threw her delicate form up against a tree. “Stealing?!” Gordon roared as he grabbed Maria by the wrist. “Mrs. Jacevich told me that she saw you taking food in her kitchen last night. This is what I raised? You are lying, thieving little bitch! You were told to stay inside! You will both pay the price!” Pinning Maria down to a tree stump with his elbow, Gordon snatched up a nearby rod and pointed it at Liam. “I’ll deal with you in a minute.” Gordon raised the rod and struck Marija in the face twice. He pivoted towards Liam and kicked him in the stomach, knocking him to the ground. Gordon continued striking Marija with the rod again and again as she screeched. Griping in pain, Liam supported himself with his hands and got up off the ground. “Stop!” He shouted, running towards Gordon. With a quick fist swing, Gordon struck Liam hard in the jaw. The boy lost his balance and collapsed to the ground again. Still determined, Liam charged forward a second time. Gordon swung the rod, knocking Liam off his feet a third time. Blood trickled down Liam’s face as he staggered to his feet, his wounds throbbing. The excruciating sensation of burning pins and knives coursed through his body. Through the pain and disorientation, Liam could vaguely make out a terrifying manifestation; Gordon’s pupils’ color began to alter into gray, black, blue-tinted red, and a plethora of illusory shades and tones he had never seen before. No. It wasn’t real. The disorientation was causing him to visualize images that were not there…
Gordon stood tall and began laughing like a madman. “The price for your crime will be paid in full. God damn you both!” Liam stared in horror as Gordon tossed aside the rod and drew out a long sharp knife. Raising it above his head, he trained it upon Marija’s throat. “Never again will you burden me and the people of our society. You are not my flesh. You are worthless! To hell with you both.” This couldn’t be his father. For the first time in his life, this man was threatening murder. Whatever was happening, it had to be stopped. A whistle in the wind and a whispering command inexplicably restored a vital amount of physical energy to Liam’s body. Up! Save her life. Extirpate the threat. The transcendental experience lasted for but a second. Channeling his hatred alongside this newfound energy into strength, Liam made one last desperate charge forward. Gordon’s mouth dropped as Liam managed to catch him off guard. Slamming into his thighs, Liam pushed Gordon off balance into a backward summersault down a small knoll leading into a neighbor’s yard. Recovering for a minute, Gordon partially rose to his knees before coughing up a mouthful of blood and collapsing to the ground. Liam staggered backward in shock at what he had just seen. The long knife’s handle jutted upwards as the red blade remained buried in Gordon’s chest. The last expression on Gordon’s face was one of horror and disbelief as the life slipped out of his eyes.
Liam climbed up the hill to meet Marija as she sat on a tree stump, crying hysterically. “It’s okay,” He said reassuringly. “It’s all over.” Liam held her in a total embrace before stealing one final glance over the hillside. Mrs. Jacevich emerged from her house to see her next-door neighbor’s lifeless body. She puckered up her lips and screamed before turning her frantic gaze towards Marija and Liam. “Help! Help! Murderers! Murderers!” The women cried out and pointed in their direction. Within seconds, neighbors were rushing to the scene. “Let’s get out of here!” Liam snapped. Hand in hand, the siblings hastily fled into the woods.
“Let’s rest first.” Suggested Marija. Knowing that they had been traveling by foot for hours, Liam nodded in agreement as he sat down on a nearby rock. “All right.” The two sat quietly for a moment watching the birds sing in the conifer trees. “Why did Mrs. Jacevich accuse us of murdering father?” Said Marija taking a breath. “You know that Mrs. Jacevich is father’s biggest ally, right? They might have been having an affair. It’s her word against ours. We won’t stand a chance. Our country has no fair laws.” Answered Liam. Hello. I’m here. Follow my voice. A message softly whispered through Liam’s mind. “Did you hear that?” Marija nodded in surprise. “Yes, I heard it too.” Keep moving forward and go left. A bit unnerved, Marija anxiously glanced at her brother. “Liam, I don’t think we should follow it.” “Wait.” He interrupted her. Listening attentively, Liam experienced a euphoric sensation manifesting in his mind and heart. “It’s telepathy. And I think it might have been the voice that helped me stop Dad from killing you!” “What?! No, Liam! This isn’t right!” Marija seized his arm in a panicked act of protest. Her brother gently but firmly took hold of her hand to lead the way. “Marijah. Please. You need to trust me on this. Would I ever lie to you?” Marija shook her head reluctantly as she followed her brother’s lead. You’re almost there. After circumventing a cluster of shrubs and spruce trees, they came upon a clearing. Before them was a vast hillside complete with a paved road and five medium-sized houses interspersed along the roadside. Dirt pathways interloped between each house and the main throughway. The two looked on in sheer astonishment at such a scene. “I’ve never seen a paved road before,” Liam commented. The telepathic voice continued its instructions a second later—the fifth house along the road. You will find me there…
A sizeable white home with a single gable and double-paned window rested atop the roof, which loomed over the approaching children. The yard was small but adequately spaced for a vegetable garden. The front porch railing was a contrasted yellow meringue. A thin, familiar blonde-haired woman smiled at them from the front porch. “Mom!” They both exclaimed in unison. Marija and Liam hurried into Sonja’s outstretched arms. “Is it really you? How is it possible? How did you reach us?” Liam was rambling excitedly. Sonja smiled again as Marija buried her face into her mother’s long wool dress. “You will find out soon enough. In time, you will know. I am just so overjoyed to see the two of you for the first time in years. You’ve both grown up so fast.” Between tears and laughter, mother and children continued their embrace. Sonja’s face fell saddened at seeing gashes and scratches on Liam and Marija’s faces. “My God, what has Gordon done to you? Both of you come in.” Sonja ushered them both into the Fourier. “I need to give you both medical attention and food. Ladies first.” She took Marija by the hand and led her into a small bathroom. From the corner of his eye, Liam noticed the same grey-blueish-red tint that he thought he saw in Gordon’s eyes. Another sign caught his eyes: a small trail of black soot leading into the main bedroom. The smell of mildew emanated across the halls. Liam shook his head in disbelief. “This can’t be right,” He thought to himself. Smelling mildew, mold, and rotting wood in a poorly maintained house was typical. However, this home’s interior showed no signs of deteriorating organic matter.
Sonja and Marija stumbled out of the bathroom slowly and methodically. Though Marija’s wounds had mysteriously vanished, her eyes were notably different. Her once vibrant blue eyes appeared to have an absence of color. Everything about her seemed different. Her pupils had faded from blue to gray and now dark black. Sonja’s eyes mimicked a similar pattern. She smiled and beckoned for Liam to come forward. “It’s time we have a look at those scrapes and bruises on you.” Liam took a step back. “Who are you?” Sonja tilted her head slightly and responded in a calm tone. “Liam, it’s mom. I’m here to help you. Are you all right?” He took another defiant step back. “No! I can see right through you just like I started to with Dad. Who are you?” Silence ensued as Sonja’s smile quickly faded into a disquieted expression. “Your eyes are different. Her eyes are different. Who the hell are you? What have you done to Marija?” Liam demanded once more. At this, Sonja’s tone shifted to a firmer one. “So now you see who I am. Unfortunate.” “Where’s my real mom?” Liam shouted. Sonja tilted her head once more. “She once lived here. She inherited the house from your dead aunt. But I have claimed her mind as my own. She and I are one, just as your sister shall be.” With a swift stroke of its hand, the being impersonating Sonja drove an incorporeal blackened hand through Marija’s head. A brilliant flash of light was immediately followed by Marija’s lifeless body crumpling to the floor, her eyes now pure white and devoid of color or pupils. Liam cried out in disbelief. “This can’t be real! You tricked us. It was a trap! You stole my mother and sister’s minds. You destroyed who they were!” “No.” The entity began. “They were absorbed. Did I not save you both from a tortuous existence? I cannot absorb you if you are deceased. Your mind must be whole when I consume it. The world will seek you out. It will destroy you. I provide refuge from the world.” Liam backed himself to the entrance door. “No,” He objected. “You must have been the cause of father’s madness. It all makes sense now. Maybe you were the affliction, the sickness. You destroyed my family.” “Your presumption is correct.” The being interjected. “However, your parents invited me in. They made a covenant so that their lives would see improvement. Every time they relinquished an ounce of willpower, I became stronger. The world offers you no hope. The void is your refuge.”
Within seconds, Sonja’s human form disintegrated into ashen soot and mildew. A dark, amorphous mass emerged from her place. Within seconds, it fully enveloped Liam’s head, torso, and legs as he struggled and kicked with every fiber of his body. Each desperate act of defiance the boy made was countered by the entity’s overwhelming vigor and might, which facilitated An intoxicating atmosphere, one that offered no respite, a blinding trajectory devoid of light, and a suffocating preternatural aroma poised to extinguish even the sanest person’s consciousness. The entity had lured his parents into a false state of comfort and hope, only for these emotional beliefs to be extirpated upon the revelation of the entity’s true nature. With his final parting thoughts, Liam wondered why so many men and women in the world could be seduced by the lies, deception, and feelings of despair that satiate this otherworldly being’s appetite, but most of all, how many more souls would unknowingly make a covenant with such an entity? Regarding those who embrace its false promises, their fate is sealed: In nihilum.
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2023.06.09 02:38 lcelerate Petrine is a pretty competent general

Introduction

Petrine is often an overlooked villain due to the fact she is underneath both Ashnard and Black Knight in terms of Daein's hierarchy and power. Most people notice how ruthless she can be as that is quite apparent but often overlook how cunning she is. She is often referred to as the same archetype as Narcian and Valter, the crazy evil general you must fight before late game which makes her come off as less competent than she truly is.

Chapter 5

Petrine is introduced after Daein fails to capture Princess Elincia and while it is ambiguous it is implied, she will execute the leader for his failure. This shows she's very ruthless, arguably to the detriment of Daein's army as fighting to the death isn't always better than a tactical retreat. However, it is Daein army's motto, and we know Ashnard is Daein's leader so one can argue she's compelled to obey his orders and is arguably being more ruthless than she otherwise would be.
Petrine: “What? What did you just say? I think I must be hearing things. I thought you said, “They got away.””
Dakova: “Ge-General Petrine. I am deeply ashamed. By my honor…”
Petrine: “Honor? I care nothing for your pathetic honor. Have you forgotten the Daein army’s motto? Success or failure, life or death. Hey, you! Get this trash out of here!”
Daein Soldier : “Yes, ma’am! Move it, you.”
Dakova: “W-wait! General Petrine, have mercy…”
Petrine: “Dog’s breath! I’m surrounded by worthless imbeciles. Ena!”
Anyway, Petrine is quick to ask Ena for advice on where the Greil Mercenaries are heading. Once Petrine is told they are heading to Gallia, she quickly takes the initiative to hunt them down. While this could be reckless compared to waiting for Ena to gather intel. However, one could argue this is actually smart despite her arrogant overconfidence due to the fact they must be defeated before they arrive to Gallia.
Petrine: “Tell me which way we should move to catch these mercenaries and the girl.”
Ena: “…The Crimean capital, Melior, is already under King Ashnard’s control…The remnants of the Crimean army are neglible…Which means the only place left for the princess to turn is south, to the kingdom of Gallia.”
Petrine: “Hah! So the girl, like her dead father before her, seeks the friendship of those hairy devils, eh? What an absolutely stupefying world we live in.”
Ena: “If she gains sanctuary in Gallia, capturing the princess will become that much more difficult….The mercenaries she has escorting her are a powerful group, not one to be taken lightly. I will gather intelligence on them as quickly as…”
Petrine: “It’s not necessary. I will head up the pursuit of our wandering princess.”
Ena: “General Petrine, you will go…yourself?”
Petrine: “If we know where the princess and her band are headed, there’s no need for subtlety. I’ll just hunt them down and kill them. Mercenaries? Hah! What’re they to me? Remember, I am General Petrine! No matter who I face, I have never failed, nor will I ever! Ha ha ha…”

Chapter 6

So Petrine had already taken the initiative of sending scouts to track them and figures out they are making their way through the forest in Crimea near Gallia. We learn how Petrine was angry with Ena being her tactician, but she still ended up asking her for advice in the previous chapter which goes to show that despite looking down on her allies, she gives them a fair chance.
Daein Soldier: “…And that’s when we lost track of them. I assigned a squad to pursue them and returned so I could give you this report.”
Petrine: “Understood. You may step down.”
Petrine: “So Princess Elincia is making her way through the forest to Gallia…Ena!”
Petrine: “It appears your advice was sound. Well done. You have earned my praise.”
Ena: “Thank you.”
Petrine: “When the king assigned me a tactician, I wondered what I had done to lose his trust. When I saw it was a young girl,I burned with anger at the king’s judgment. Still, it’s worked out better than I had expected. Keep up the good work.”
Ena: “Of course.”
Petrine: “Now then, it’s time for the hunt to begin.”
Soren forms a plan to send Greil, Shinon and Gatrie as an elite diversionary force to distract the Daein army waiting for them at the edge of the forest which could allow the main force to cut through the weakened Daein force that is guarding the point of exit.
Greil: “Hold it right there, everyone. We’re coming to the edge of the forest. Form up. Combat positions.”
Titania: “I don’t suppose our Daein pursuers were willing to let us just slip away.”
Soren: “There is no doubt that they will attack again. Without knowing their numbers, it is difficult to advise a course of action.”
Greil: “Take your best guess, Soren. With the limited information we have, what is the best way to proceed?”
Soren: “…Some of our group cannot fight. If we are caught, we’ll have a difficult time defending them and attacking the Daeins. I propose we separate into two groups: a small fighting force to engage the enemy and buy the main group some time, and the rest of us–who will escort the princess to Gallia at full speed.”

However, the plan fails due to the Daein army being concentrated in the location where Ike's force emerges preventing Greil from distracting them at a different point. Petrine being the overall commander of these troops as well as promising to begin the hunt must have been able to deduce where the main force would emerge allowing her to foil Soren's diversion strategy. In summary, she shows that she's good at predicting the movements of her enemy.
Ike: “So they’re waiting for us after all…”
Soren: “There are…more of them than I’d imagined there would be. I thought they would have been spread out across the forest border…I didn’t expect to see so many in one place.”
Ike: “Do we rethink our strategy?”
Soren: “No, we’ve already split up. It’s too late to reconsider now.”

Chapter 7

Ike is looking for his father in a fort but ends up getting ambushed by Daein soldiers. Soon after, Petrine shows up and orders Ike to give Elincia up or die but good thing is that Ike had already managed to send her to Gallia by the end of chapter 6 although she doubts he's telling the truth.
Petrine: “Ha ha ha…Found you at last. You provided more entertainment than I thought you would.”
Ike: “Who are you?”
Petrine: “Me? I am General Petrine, and my arrival marks your doom. Lament your fortune,dear children, for all hope is lost. You will not leave this place alive.”
Soren: “Petrine…of the Four Riders of Daein?”
Ike: “Do you know her, Soren?”
Soren: “If she’s who I think, then she’s one of the four generals who are King Daein’s most trusted confidants. She is said to wield a flame lance of terrible arcane might.”
Petrine: “Ha ha ha…You’ve heard of me? Why, I’m flattered. I’ll try to make this easy on all of you. Give me the princess, and do it now. If I roast the girl along with you curs, I won’t be able to present her head to His Majesty.”
Ike: “Sorry to tell you this, but the princess isn’t here. She’s been in Gallia for quite some time now.”
Petrine: “What…nonsense is that? Do you expect me to believe you? There’s no way mercenary scum like you could get past my troops!”
Soon Greil shows up and calls her out on her arrogance.
Greil: “They say that blind arrogance sows the field of its own destruction. Something tells me they were talking about you.”
Petrine: “Who–“
He challenges her to a one on one duel which proves to be too tantalizing as she does like to fight against strong opponents even though she was smart enough to know it was a ruse.
Greil: “You said your name was Petrine, is that right? Listen up. This place is nowhere near big enough. There’s not enough room for a true contest between the two of us. I’m going elsewhere. You coming?”
Petrine: “Do you actually think I’m going to fall for such a simple ruse?”
Greil: “You and I, we’ve got more power than the average person. We don’t come across a chance like this too often. I’d like to flex my muscles without any distractions getting in the way. You?”
Petrine: “Ha ha…You really do know how to sweet talk a girl, don’t you? All right, I’m coming.”
Greil: “Over here.”
Greil was right that Petrine was too arrogant but despite Petrine being on the verge of defeat, it sounds like she has a plan to turn things around.
Petrine: “Dog’s breath! Who are you, man? You look like a common sellsword, but you fight like a demon!”
Greil: “What’s wrong? Ready to surrender?”
Petrine: “And admit defeat? Me? Dont’t be absurd…”

Well Petrine's reinforcements show up and box the Greil Mercenaries in which shows why she was so confident in taking on Greil. She had a contingency in place in case Greil proved to be too strong which goes to show while she can be quite arrogant, she thinks ahead.
Daein Soldier: “Here they are! Over here!”
Ike: “Blast. Enemy reinforcements! Father! Let’s get out of here! There are too many–“
Greil: “…Looks like I’ve got no choice.”
Petrine: “Ha ha ha ha…So now, the tide has turned, hasn’t it?”
Petrine: “All troops, attack! Kill them! Kill them all!”
Greil: “Hm…Looks like our luck’s run out.”
Ike: “Father!”
Greil: “You have to survive this, Ike. I’m not going to lose you, not in this place. Are you ready?”
Ike: “Yes, Commander!”
Petrine: “You’ve nowhere to run. Curse whatever gods you hold, for they have abandoned you!”
Granted, she did end up getting her army ambushed from behind by the laguz foiling her strategy.
Ike: “What was that?”
Daein Soldier: “B-b-beasts! Gallian beast soldiers!”
Daein Soldier: “R-r-run! We’re going to be torn to shreds!”
Petrine: “Stand your ground, all of you! Don’t panic! I will personally slaughter the first man to turn his back on the enemy!”
Daein soldier: “Noooo!”
Daein Soldier: “B-b-beasts!”
Petrine: “Pfeh. Worthless cowards, one and all.”
Ranulf: “Attention, Daein soldiers! Leave this place at once! If you do not comply immediately, you will face Gallia’s full strength!”

To her credit, originally she did not know that Elincia had already gotten away to Gallia to call for help, let alone fast enough for Gallia to mobilize troops and reach them in time. Even Ike was surprised at Elincia and the laguz showing up despite him knowing that Elincia had reached Gallia.
Ike: “Princess Elincia…Why did you return here?=”
Ranulf: “The princess came and requested Gallian aid for your mercenary company. That is what brings us here.”
Petrine shows a lot of bravery and is willing to continue the fight even when her underlings flee which may sound dumb but those are Ashnard's orders. It goes to show he's more of a dumb brute than she is. Anyway, much like how the Greil Mercenaries were saved by the laguz, Petrine is saved by the Black Knight and he promises to convince Ashnard to explain her retreat.
Petrine: “Threaten me all you like. It’s not going to frighten me off. If I leave, His Majesty will have me executed. I’d rather die here in battle, with my honor intact.”
Black Knight: “Withdraw, General Petrine.”
Petrine: “The Black Knight…”
Black Knight: “As for your king, you have nothing to fear. I’ll explain things to him. Take your men and go.”
Petrine: “Tsk! All troops, fall back!”

Chapter 19

When Ike invades Daein, Petrine decides to hire Naesala to fight alongside Daein to counter the invasion. She pays part of the cost upfront while promising to pay the rest afterwards, striking a balance between Daein's interests and Kilvas' interests. All of this goes to show she too is quite pragmatic and cunning.

Naesala: General Petrine, Kilvas will always stand at Daein's side... As long as we receive our payment, of course.
Petrine: If gold is all it takes, then may our friendship never end. See to it that your performance warrants such consideration! Homasa! Come here!
Homasa: Yes.
Petrine: Work with King Kilvas and put a stop to Crimea's army. No screw ups! Or else!
Homasa: Leave it to me, General.
Petrine: I will not suffer another failure, King Kilvas. You must finish them, and do so quickly...Are we clear? Arrr! I am sick to death of being made a fool by that Crimean floozy and her pathetic band of sellswords!
Naesala: And the remaining portion of my fee?
Petrine: Don't worry, we have it ready. You'll get paid when the job is done.
Naesala: As long as we're clear on that point, everything's settled. Well then, I'm off.

The same Naesala was so cunning he managed to outwit Morris, one of Daein's commanders, into creating an enemy with Begnion so that he can steal both of their treasures while they fight amongst each other.
Norris: Grrr...Look at this mess! I paid you good money to help me outmaneuver everyone else and catch the Crimean princess's ship first. Everything seemed to be going exactly as we'd planned. But now, we're being attacked by a squad of pegasus knights! We're flying no flags! We've stripped our armor of any crests! They should have no clue who we are! Why are they attacking us!?
Naesala: Call it a miscommunication...One of those unfortunate misunderstandings that seem to happen now and again.
Norris: You deceitful...King Kilvas! I wouldn't be surprised if you'd planned this treachery from the start!
Naesala: Such unkind words! You wound me. I would never intentionally lie to you. And as proof, I bring good news. I have it on unshakable authority that the ship that just sailed up alongside Begnion's carries the Crimean princess.
Norris: Oh...But unless we can break through the Begnion ranks, there's nothing we can do...
Naesala: Would you care for some assistance?
Norris: And what would it cost me this time?
Naesala: You learn quickly, my friend. Let's see, you'd be receiving my own royal assistance, so...double--no, triple rates. ---------------------------------------------
Naesala: We should take advantage of the confusion of battle to help ourselves to the cargo. These humans seem interested only in fighting their fellow men. If they can't be bothered to defend their treasure, I think it fair to say they've lost their claim to it.

Naesala does betray when Reyson talks to him which does foil Petrine's plan. However, Naesala does forfeit his right to gold. Furthermore, Naesala only betrayed her because Reyson joined Ike's army and because Naesala needed to make up to Reyson for selling him to Oliver. Petrine is not privy to these two facts so its not like she made a blunder due to oversight/miscalculation on her part.
Reyson Oh, yes! Friends! In fact, we're such good friends that you sold me to that foul, bloated man!
Naesala I didn't really sell you! Besides, I planned on rescuing you right away. You were just impatient and flew away on your own, so--
Reyson Are you blaming me?
Naesala No, no! Well, maybe... I mean...It was I who was in the wrong. On all accounts.
Reyson ...
Naesala No one was hurt in the end. Come on, smooth those ruffled feathers. All right?
Reyson Leanne is alive.
Naesala Yes, Tibarn's attendant told me. That's wonderful news. When he sees her face, I'm sure King Lorazieh will begin to feel better at once. Things are really looking up, aren't they, Reyson?
Reyson ...I suppose that... If you hadn't deceived me and taken me to the forest... We might not have discovered her... So, I will forgive you. Just this once!
Naesala Reyson! Oh, that's--
Reyson WITH...conditions. Will you accept them?
Naesala ...What are they?
Reyson Pull your troops from this battle. Now. And never again enter into combat against your fellow laguz.
Naesala Oh, come now, Reyson. That's asking too much--
Reyson What will you do, then? Will you continue to fight the Crimean army to which I'm in service?
Naesala Very well. You win, Reyson. I'll leave and take my soldiers with me. However, I cannot say what the future will bring. I have the fate of my nation to consider after all.

Chapter 20

Once Ike's army approaches Talrega, Petrine forms a clever yet devious strategy to slow him down and exhaust the army. Also, this shows she understands how much of a threat Ike is and isn't going to underestimate him unlike a lot of other villains who only lose because they underestimate the heroes and toy with them.
Shiharam Yet, that's... General Petrine! If we do this thing, Daein will suffer.
Petrine It's for the good of the country. Besides, it's only one territory! Stop mewling like an old woman.
Shiharam I hear you, and yet...If the goal is merely to stop the Crimean army, this is not necessary. The strength of my troops will suffice to--
Petrine The last idiot who told me that ended up on a corpse pile! Now listen to me, and listen well. No matter how passionate you are when you tell me you'll defeat Crimea, I'll never pin my hopes on a bunch of foreigners. All you have to do is stop their forward progress. That's all. My plan will accomplish this.
The strategy was the flood the area which turned the ground into mud making it hard for ground units to traverse the terrain. What makes the strategy even more effective is that Shiharam's army is mostly wyvern knights who fly so it doesn't impact them as much as Ike's army.
Bengion Soldier General Ike! Sir, we've got trouble! The road ahead is blocked by water!
Elincia What? How can that be?
Bengion Soldier Perhaps a local river has flooded. The whole region is soaking wet.
Ike Is the road completely impassable?
Bengion Soldier No, sir! We can move forward, but the water's turned the ground to mud. And the water is still flowing at a tremendous rate, sir! This is going to cut back our speed dramatically.
Soren This is the work of Daein. They thought to impede our progress in order to gain some time for themselves. And they've succeeded.

While Ike certainly wins the battle, it has slowed him down due to him distributing his supplies to the refugees of Talrega who have lost their homes in the flood along with the fact it was a hard fought battle due to the terrain conditions.
Ike: Soren. Take a portion of our supplies and distribute it among the locals.
Soren: What? Are you serious?
Ike: Our opponent is the Daein army. We've no quarrel with these people.
Soren: Ike, I know you feel for these people, but this is war! We don't have--
Ike: I don't know what it will accomplish, Soren. But, moving on without lifting a finger is something I cannot do.
Titania: I understand. I'd rather regret something I had done than regret taking no action at all.
Elincia: I would like to help, too. Perhaps I can aid the injured.
Soren: ...Idiocy...
Petrine: Well, that's that. We gained some time by flooding the river, but it won't hold them for long. I knew that foreign cur was useless... It looks like the decisive battle will be fought near the capital.

Chapter 23

Petrine makes a last stand on the bridge that connects Daein and Crimea. She has modified the bridge with traps which makes it hard for you to advance. A lot of people complain that the bridge chapter is annoying due to the pitfalls but that's the point, Daein is supposed to be annoying to fight. It's also good for psychological warfare as it can cause panic in the army as many soldiers get trapped. This psychological manipulation is made even more potent when Petrine orders her army to kill off the enemy one by one, thereby making the enemy troops panic as they are picked off one at a time.
Petrine: So they're finally here, are they? Has the work on the bridge been finished? And your answer had better be yes!
Daein Soldier: Y-yes, General! Do you think it will work?
Petrine: Sometimes the simplest of traps offer up the best results. Lure the enemy in, and then finish them off one by one. Got it?

Petrine sends Haar to flank the enemy from behind once Ike's army has been lured in thereby effectively sandwiching his army on a booby trapped bridge.
Petrine All right, Haar! Time for you to go to work.

Haar ends up defecting when Jill talks to him but Petrine anticipates this and has a bunch of her henchmen fight alongside Haar to keep tabs on him which goes to show she anticipated Haar defecting. This goes to show she has great predictive capabilities and plans far in advance.
Haar: The ones responsible for General Shiharam's death, are the Daeins. I pretended to return to the fold so I could get close to General Petrine...I'm just waiting for my chance. But I think they may be on to me. My unit's a bunch of tough guys who serve as Petrine's watchdogs. Plus, I've been ordered to charge the Crimeans head-on. It's Daein's way of killing two birds with one stone.
Jill: Don't do it! Come fight by our sides! If you're looking to kill Daeins, then we share the same goal!
Haar: Jill... I, um... I don't trust Crimea anymore than I do Daein. I'm sick to death of serving countries.
Jill: Captain...
Haar: Still... I can't abandon the daughter of the man to whom I owe so much... Guess I'm changing sides again.

Now Petrine does lose the fight but one of the reasons she loses is that at last minute, Lucia decides to ambush Petrine's army at the edge of the bridge in Crimea when Ike's army also gets near the edge, this pincer proves to be too much. There is no shame in losing to the combined efforts of Lucia and Ike when Lucia herself is a great tactician and we all know Ike is a brilliant general who has a brilliant strategist at his side.
A unit is near the end of the bridge
Lucia: Is that the Crimean army? ......................................... Two turns later
Lucia: Are you ready to fight?! Are you ready to die?! We must give our all to protect Princess Elincia!
Crimean Soldier: My fellow Crimeans! Now is the time we stand and fight for the life of our homeland!

Conclusion

While Petrine may have failed to prevent Ike from reaching Crimea, she does show to be a formidable general regardless and her failure is made even less bad when you consider most of Daein's soldiers were in Crimea. Three of the four riders of Daein are fought on Crimean soil as well as Ashnard himself. Daein's best soldiers were in Crimea and they were more numerous too.
Overcoming many hardhsips, Ike and company finally arrive in theDaein capital of Nevassa. However, much to their dismay, King Ashnard is nowhere to be found. According to intellegence reports, the king is in Crimea's capital of Melior, preparing to wage war against Gallia. In addition, at least half of the Daein army, including its most elite forces, remain unharmed and at his side.
Petrine might be arrogant and reckless, but she does take the threat seriously and plans accordingly.
submitted by lcelerate to fireemblem [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:11 totalstatemachine Detailed trapper guide

Detailed trapper guide
Much like many others who saw the developer Q&A from yesterday, I was disappointed when they announced no significant changes coming for their poster boy killer, the trapper. The trapper is an outdated killer and I question the logic of leaving him untouched simply based on kill rate and accessibility for newer players.
However, despite popular opinion here and elsewhere, I believe the trapper is still a very viable killer provided you know how to play him. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen people claim you need to go full on basement trapper to have a decent result, you cannot win vs good survivors with the trapper, etc etc….none of which I find to be true.
Before we go any further though, you might be asking, who am I and why should you listen to me? Well, I’ve been a trapper main for many years and my win rate tracks north of 70% last I checked. I have played trapper against survivors of all skill levels, including members of competitive teams and I am ranked just outside the top fifty in the world in trap catches. I make no claims to being the ‘best’ trapper player nor would I ever do so – I simply have confidence in my ability to play this killer with a reasonable amount of success.
Without further ado, let’s get started!

Builds

Making a good perk build for the trapper is relatively simple – unless you’re going for a more ‘fun’ build, you need perks that will address his shortcomings.
That’s why my first pick is the longtime trapper standard, Corrupt Intervention. Corrupt gives us time at the start to set traps without having to worry about gens popping left and right. Even if you get a down relatively early and the perk expires, you still got value for having some time to set up traps and denying survivors from spawning in on gens.
Trapper could also use some help chase wise, as at the end of the day he is primarily an m1 killer and there will be times when your traps don’t work as well as they would like. Therefore, my second pick is Save the Best for Last. Trapper has no m2 attack to conserve stacks, but we can gain additional stacks by hitting survivors out of traps they step in and if the obsession steps in one, we can simply lift them out and lose no stacks at all. This perk gives him some much-needed lethality and provides us with something to lean on when we’re forced to play machete boy.
Trapper also needs some more active slowdown, as his best time is in the mid or late game and it’s extremely helpful to slow the game down. That’s why I finished my build with Pop Goes the Weasel and Jolt. Jolt is a very good trapper perk and pairs well with our chase perk, STBFL – if a survivor steps in a trap, we can hit them out to both get a stack of STBFL and proc Jolt, and since your traps will usually be near areas with generators (more on this later), we can more consistently get value from this than other killers. Pop Goes the Weasel is certainly not the perk it once was but having run it for some time I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the value provided. It works best on gens with fair bit of progress, but coming across such well progressed gens as trapper is rather common (unfortunately). It is also getting a solid buff to bring the regression up to 30% of current, which is nice.

Addons

The trapper is a very addon dependent killer. Without them, we have two traps on hand, they arm somewhat slowly and can be disarmed with no real penalty to the survivors – and, oh yeah, this is without mentioning that you must go around collecting all of them. That’s why, in my opinion, our best addon choices are ones that make our traps more dangerous or allow us to progress through the map without having to constantly rearm traps in the process.
My personal favorite trapper addon is the Iridescent Stone. Iri stone mitigates one of trapper’s biggest weaknesses and allows us to ‘set and forget’. It is also a lifesaver on maps where hiding your traps is impractical and you’re forced to use them more for pallet or loop denial.
My second choice would be the Honing Stone. While this addon does little if we herd survivors into traps (we’re already there to grab/hit them, after all) you will have many situations when someone away from your location steps into a trap. In many scenarios, you will not be able to get there fast enough – after all, they could escape on their first attempt! Not with this they can’t. Anyone that frees themselves will go into the dying state, and even if they do call out for a teammate to assist them, that’s still taking another survivor off gens to assist their teammate. While not perfect, sometimes this addon can turn around games that were otherwise looking like a surefire loss.
So, you might be asking, why not the Trapper Sack? I completely understand those that wish to take it. Having all your traps on hand from the beginning is a gamechanger and makes certain maps where our trap spawn RNG is so punishing, like Borgo, much more manageable. It is a very powerful addon. The drawback of not being able to pick up your traps, however, can be considerable with my style of playing trapper, so I don't personally prefer it.

Gameplay

This is where the meat of this mini guide will be. Keep in mind this is just how I play trapper – others may have their own successful styles, and that’s to be expected!
Setup phase
As you spawn into the map, the best thing to do at the start is identify the side of the map with the most generators. It may seem like an obvious statement, but we don’t want to place traps where survivors have no reason to be. Once we’ve done that, we can start trapping up strategic loops and/or strong structures in this area. One mistake I see a lot of newer trappers make is overcommitting to this phase. Having one gen pop while you set up is normal, sometimes two. If a third gens pops by the time you’ve finished, however, you’ve left yourself with little room for error – your better hope your grand plan works. For this reason, I find it best to set around three reliable traps in the beginning. The rest you can set either during chase or after hooking survivors (not within their field of vision, of course – we don’t want our traps being called out immediately).
Trapping pallet loops
Traps placed in loops will often be your bread and butter. For a common pallet loop, I suggest trapping off to the side of the loop rather than placing a trap right in the path of the pallet, ideally within some foliage, if available, or the side facing away from an object like a generator or a hook. When that survivor comes to the loop, we can then herd them around the loop and into our trap. Survivors like to hug loops tightly, and we can take advantage of this. If you’re on a map like The Game, however, you will often have little choice but to drop your trap in the path of the pallet – hardly ideal, but even if they abandon the area rather than stepping into the trap, we can sandwich them into a hit and deny use of the pallet. It is very important that we don’t place the trap in the middle of the pallet, however, as survivors can then just drop the pallet directly over the trap and vault over. You must carefully place the trap at the ‘lip’ of the pallet not only to avoid this, but also to cover the path sufficiently so survivors can’t worm their way around the trap (argh, so frustrating!) when running the loop.

Trap placed on side of pallet loop
Trapping jungle gyms
There are a few ways we can attack the jungle gym. Often the front of the jungle gym will have a small patch of grass leading from the pallet side back to the open area towards the window, and we can catch survivors here. My personal favorite, however, is to trap the corner coming from the window vault going towards the pallet. Quite often, survivors will hug this loop after vaulting and step directly into the trap.

Jungle Gym front trap

Jungle gym corner trap
Trapping shack
The shack can be a strong structure to trap. There are many ways we can trap the shack, from placing the trap at the window, just before the pallet door or on the window side of shack within foliage. However, if the shack pallet is still up, I recommend simply placing the trap at the pallet door. This may seem too obvious, but many survivors, especially at higher levels of play, are quite wise to traps being placed on the side of shack and will avoid grass or foliage like the plague with plenty of room to still make the window even if you’re in chase. Using the trap at the pallet door gives them no choice but to deal with it, and it can prove especially strong assuming we’ve taken the iri stone addon.
Faking traps
Baiting the survivor into thinking we’re going to trap an untrapped pallet, for example, can be quite useful. If you’re chasing a survivor and they come across a rather strong pallet to play, start the trap setting process and cancel it after about one second. Quite often, survivors will bail rather than take a chance at being stuck at the loop, and we can chase them to a less favorable area. Addons such as the Trapper Gloves and Fastening Tools speed up our trap setting speed and make it more difficult for survivors to tell if we’re simply faking it or committing to setting the trap, and there will be occasions when a survivor gets overly confident, and the trap will be set before they abandon the loop.
Survivors downed within a pallet
Survivors going down inside a pallet or crawling underneath an undropped pallet is quite common in DBD. This makes most killers think twice about picking up lest they get a pallet dropped on their head. As a trapper, though, we have a trick up our sleeve. By trapping the most vulnerable side of the pallet, we can deny pallet saves or in our best case scenario, even catch a would-be rescuer unawares and into the waiting jaws of our trap!
Hidden/clipped traps
These are the sneakiest and sometimes most controversial traps. There are certain areas where traps will clip into or under the environment and make them essentially invisible. Finding locations for these is a lot of fun, but keep in mind that these could be patched out or erased when maps are redesigned, so enjoy them while you can.

Under wood pile on Pale Rose ship

Under floorboards at the shrine on Sanctum of Wrath
Hidden in the rubble pile stairway on Midwich
There are many more tips, tricks and analysis I could give, but this guide is meant to be an introduction into basic gameplay for the trapper. I am working on a more extensive guide that will cover every map in DBD, perk choices, alternate builds and so on, but this will take some time. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope it inspires a few of you to pick up ol’ Evan for a couple games if nothing else. Happy trapping!
submitted by totalstatemachine to deadbydaylight [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:03 bagelworshipper Is there numbness and paresthesia after a breast lift? Is it unavoidable?

To those who have had a breast lift, what are your results like? Are sensations normal and can you breastfeed?
Although I’m only 22, my nipples are very low and my boob shape is nearing tubular. I’m on a weight loss journey of over 40 lbs (just started). I have lost 30 lbs in the past but gained half of it back. I also did cross country for 3 months and no one informed me about the importance of wearing a supportive bra, so despite constantly wearing underwire bras with complete support all the time, the sagging is still there.
I am really worried about numbness and paresthesia in the area after surgery. Can someone explain their post-op experience and if feeling is back to normal?
submitted by bagelworshipper to PlasticSurgery [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:17 yunniCC Looking for sublease from now to Sept 1st

I will be interning in Santa Clara this summer. I’d like to find a sublease near SCU from June 10 to September 1. If anybody knows a discord server for rental in this area, could you send me the link as well. Thanks.
submitted by yunniCC to SCU [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:06 Responsible-Brush-72 Respect Charlie, aka, Chalice (Alters)

Everyone's stuck at an intersection. Except me. I'm living three lives. Stuck at three intersections. I'm an Alter. I'm transgender. I'm a middle brother of three...
I just want to be who I am. I want my folks to have their little dream and be proud of me. I want to be myself. But the only way I can ever be myself...
...is when I'm her.

Introduction

Charlie is just your average teen, but he never felt like himself. Like an alien to his own life.
Never, that is, until he started taking estrogen, and, more interestingly, until she discovered that she was an Alter: a person with a genetic mutation found in 1 of every 50 million people. With the ability to ride on gravity waves and teleport via quantum tunneling, Charlie became the world's latest and greatest superheroine: Chalice.
Note: Many of her speed feats appear to simply be the same as her teleportation/quantum tunneling feats, with the only difference being how it is portrayed. For the sake of simplicity on my end, I've decided to put these feats in either speed or teleportation depending on the way that they're portrayed

Strength

Striking
Lifting

Durability

Blunt Force Trauma
Heat/Energy

Speed

Travel Speed
Reflexes/Attack Speed

Flight

Quantum Abilities

Teleportation/Quantum Tunneling

Vision-Based Abilities

Equipment

Weaknesses

submitted by Responsible-Brush-72 to respectthreads [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
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