Hug gif cute

I (15f) have liked this guy (16m) for a while. I've always thought he was cute, but recently we've gotten a lot closer and it's developed into an actual crush. We are kind of friends, we hang out after school together sometimes (not alone, with a mutual friend usually), and we sit together at lunch. He's amazing. He's funny, extremely good looking, and never fails to make me laugh. I have a feeling he likes me back, could be because he's always play-flirting with me (he does this with all his friends) and he does stuff like putting his arm around me constantly, but it might be in a friend way and I could be just getting too ahead of myself.
Anyway, the main reason I suspect he likes me back is that a couple days ago, he asked a couple people (who I know he has a crush on) how much they'd kiss him for. Then he went ahead and asked me, which was really unexpected, so I just stood there staring at him like an idiot. I was tempted to say I'd do it for free, but it was around our friends and they'd make fun of me forever if I did say that. He seemed pretty desperate for an answer, and he asked me another three or four times, all through different times of the day. All the times I stayed silent, but I was so tempted to tell him I'd do it for free.
So, since we've been getting closer, I asked him yesterday if he would want to hang out sometime this weekend. He said he was feeling sick (I accidentally gave him a cold because we shared a sprite the day before and I was sick during that time), so I said no problem. Earlier today, I texted him and asked him if he was feeling alright and if he was able to hang out today. He told me he felt sick again, and then he said that he had to go shopping with his Mam that day. He apologized again, and I said it was alright and that I understood, but I was a little pissed.
Instead I hung out with my other friend, and we were walking down to playground in our town about an hour later (there's nothing to do in our town, we spend most of our time in the playground), and I saw my crush, walking with our mutual friend, into the playground. I was like "what the fuck" and I came up to him, jokingly saying "fuck you", though I was actually pretty hurt because he lied. He looked really guilty and said "yeah, I deserve that" multiple times, and tried to hug me as well, he said he was sorry but I'm still pretty pissed.
I know I shouldn't be so mad at him, because he did apologize and all, but I'm pretty mad because he told me he was sick and that he couldn't go out, when he could.
This isn't a proper vent, I'm not super pissed and it's not like my world is ending, but I'm just annoyed at him and every time I try to talk about it with my friend, she says I'm talking about him too much and that I should just calm down. She's right I guess, but I need someone to talk to.

These are some great episodes. You have Aviva, Heather, and Carole along with Lu, Ramona, Sonja and no B. Some thoughts:
It’s odd to see Carole going all in on, what clearly I’m sure production wanted from her, which was talking about being a princess, and constantly bringing up John and Caroline and their family. incredibly, from the woman who never showed any emotion, or even didn’t want to hug anyone, she goes off, crying at the mention of potential small plane issues with Aviva nonstop discussing it.
Sonja and Ramona are absolute gold beginning their run of effortlessly riffing off each other. Aviva screaming at them that they wanted her husband to leave which gets to the classic Take a Xanax! Sonja is upset at being called white trash so she looks it up in the dictionary & tells Ramona their picture better not be there😂
Both Lu one night and Sonja the next have their go with the pirate. Can anyone explain how the pirate was the boyfriend of Lu‘s longtime friend and yet both women allegedly slept with him? He is in a relationship and he’s 20 years younger than they are. WTH. Sonja explains she wouldn’t kiss the ground for anyone, but she was the night before, in the garden with the pirate🤣
Heather was good because she’s no shrinking violet and the same for Aviva. This time, of course we will have Dorinda. I hope and pray that she keeps her drinking in check for the week and her nasty side. If she does, she will be great. Kelly and Kristen will be interesting to see here.
I’m leaving out half of what happened. It’s so good. Definitely worth the rewatch.
Thoughts?
https://media3.giphy.com/media/QrNyxraNijb5S/giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d79vv6wdmvds3wlvsl0t0uv6wbstf8ks8wzqanlk6a&ep=v1_gifs_related&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

We have done it. The end of another school year! Before we jump into this last set of stories, remember to subscribe to ReddX, home of the best cringe content on YouTube. Promise, swearsies, it’s just a fact and it’s totally science. Go ahead and look it up!
I miss that intro a lot so I figured I’d just write it in. I waited until after graduation to post this because, with ManiBeard at graduation, I figured anything could happen. And it did. And with that, let’s jump into this last set of beardy tales (for this school year). Let’s a-go.

1. “No Place Like Home (Campus)”

I was in a pretty good mood because I found out that district was ticked off at admin for considering moving my Cave to a different room next year and because they keep using my Cave as ‘backup’ for state testing. Evidently, the district was unaware this was happening but after I had complained to Cook about the extent of it she went to the district and, well, I’m keeping my Cave next year right where it is, and testing use will be limited. I won without lifting a finger. Sometimes bureaucracy works. Not often, but it’s beautiful when it does.
Of course, that good mood was not to last…
On this day I had a meeting with all the other Graphic Design teachers at another campus. We will call it Clique High School (because ‘cult’ may or may not be YouTube-friendly).
The first thing you need to know is I have a history with CHS. Remember, all the way back in chapter 1 where I mention I was a substitute teacher at Standard High before they hired me as a teacher? Well, there was one part I left out because it was irrelevant to that story, but it becomes relevant here. It is true I did sub at SHS, but the part I left out was that for half of the 2020-2021 school year (Covid year), I was a long-term sub at another campus and that campus was Clique High School. To say it was a poor experience would be underselling it immensely. You could say that Elon Musk is well off but that doesn’t really express the massive mounds of money that malevolent menace truly had. Likewise, saying I had a poor experience at CHS doesn’t really express the absolutely traumatizing, terrible, troublesome experience that my life there. It got so bad that I would leave work, cry the entire 30-minute drive to SHS, pick up Beatle, and make him drive the rest of the way home because my eyes were sore from crying.
What did I do at CHS? Well, I was a long-term sub in ESL. That’s where I got my start with it. When I walked in at the start of that year I’d never had a high school classroom before, I had no lesson plans, limited access to the curriculum since I was a sub, and I was teaching virtually because Covid…and what did I do? I build a curriculum, bonded with my class, and wrote my own lesson plans (even though subs generally don’t write plans). Basically, I rebuilt their ESL program. I did apply for the job. After all, I was already doing all of the work for substitute pay. I may as well get teacher pay for being a teacher. Right? Wrong.
They did interview me for the job but then proceeded to yank me around for half a semester before finally saying they were going to hire someone else. Who? No idea. But not me. But they wanted me to continue to long-term sub and do what I was doing until they found someone. Honestly, when I didn’t get the job part of me was pissed because of all the work I put in, but part of me was relieved. You see, the culture at CHS isn’t like the culture at SHS. Their principal, whom we will call Mr. D (for reasons that will soon be clear), had been named the district’s principal of the year and his staff completely fawned over him…a staff mostly comprised of women. The male-to-female ratio at CHS was considerably more unbalanced than at SHS. What struck me as odd was that Mr. D did not seem to warrant such admiration. During my interactions with him, I got slimy car salesman vibes more than high school principal. I would come to find out that this went deeper than I knew.
Remember AVIDBeard? Yeah, to her credit she was the one that warned me. Mostly I think she saw a chance to gossip, but nonetheless. I was visiting SHS and telling the English dept. how much I missed subbing for them (they actually liked me at this time…this was long before EnglishBeard even worked there so certainly before that whole thing made me a pariah). They missed me too. Although honestly, they missed having a sub at their becken call. Let’s be real. Anyway, AVIDBeard was all too happy to jump in with gossip.
“Be careful over there Mandy,” AVIDBeard said.
“Why? What do you know?” I asked.
“I had a training over there once and this teacher that works there started freaking out because the instructor, who was also a teacher there, was late. She started to have an anxiety attack and when I asked her what was wrong she said ‘Daddy isn’t going to like this’,” AVIDBeard explained.
“What?!” everyone in the room asked at once.
AVIDBeard nodded, “I know! So I asked her, ‘you call your principal Daddy?’ and she said ‘of course.’.”
I raised an eyebrow. I was skeptical, to say the least. Even then I knew AVIDBeard was not a reliable source. But, on the off chance she was telling the truth I had to know. CHS wasn’t exactly full of friendly teachers. In fact, where everyone at SHS had been welcoming, it had been the very opposite at CHS. They treated me like an outsider they were skeptical of. I had managed to at least have somewhat of a dialogue with the librarian. She helped me to ensure that my ESL students had books in their native languages to read during the pandemic. I went to her one day to ask about scheduling some book pick-ups for the students (this was when teachers were on-campus but students were virtual).
“Hey, can I ask you something?” I asked after we had figured out scheduling.
“Sure, what’s up?” she asked.
“OK, so it’s dumb, but someone told me you guys call Mr. D ‘daddy’. Silly, right?” I said with a laugh.
She just blinked, “Who told you that?”
Her reaction caught me off guard. She wasn’t laughing. My eyes widened, “Um, I don’t remember, it just got mentioned in passing.”
“Don’t ask anyone else that question…just…don’t even mention it,” she said.
I blinked. I wanted out of this conversation, “OK, I won’t. I’ll just forget I ever heard about it.”
She nodded and turned away, “I have work to do. If you need more books let me know.”
I rushed back to my classroom. After that, the librarian was very cold toward me.
To this day I honestly believe that the reason Mr. D didn’t hire me was because I’m too strong-willed and I have a big mouth…neither fits well into a cult-like structure, which it is very obvious CHS is.
At the semester break, they hadn’t yet hired anyone and asked me to stay for the rest of the year as a long-term sub. Basically, they wanted to pay me sub pay for an entire year of teaching. I told them ‘no way’ and I begged the district and Mr. Principal to let me return to subbing at SHS. I didn’t even care that regular sub pay was less than long-term sub pay. I just wanted out…and it turns out it all worked in my favor because obviously Mr. Principal ended up hiring me for the very job that Mr. D rejected me from and I’m very happy where I am now. And I don’t even have to call Mr. Principal ‘daddy’. Gag! Say what you will about Standard High, but I’ll take it over CHS any day.
OK, I know that was a lot of backstory, but I truly need you to understand why I so vehemently loathe everything about CHS and moreover why even being there gives me a mild case of PTSD.
Alright then, where were we? Oh yeah. Meeting for Graphic Design teachers over at CHS. I was not happy about this because I hate being at CHS of course, but I also hated leaving my students with a sub this close to the end of the year. But, alas, there I was. I walked into the familiar, loathsome halls. Daddy was in the main hall greeting his subjects.
“Mandy? What are you doing here?” he asked as he looked me over. I was in full-school spirit mode. SHS staff shirt and matching school spirit Converse I had custom-made.
“Graphic Design meeting,” I said.
“Oh, you teach Graphic Design now?” he asked.
I nodded, “Yeah, I did so great at fixing their ESL program they gave me my true dream job and now I’m relaunching their graphic design program.” OK, so it was a bit of embellishment, but I wanted him to know that his loss was SHS’s gain.
“Shame…we have an ESL position open here at The Clique,” Mr. D said. That’s how he referred to his campus. Imagine if the school’s name was Blue Mountain High and he called it The Mountain. Yeah…cringey.
“Oh yeah? I heard Patty didn’t stay,” I said. Patty was who they hired instead of me. She ended up retiring after one year at ‘The Clique’.
“Yeah, well we hired Emmy to replace Patty and now she is leaving,” Mr. D said.
“Shame…yeah, I’m still at SHS and quite happy. I heard principals were turning to poaching from other high schools so I’ll save you the trouble. I’m not poachable,” I said, wanting to get away from him.
“You could have your old job in your old room,” Mr. D said in a tone that made me very uneasy.
“I have a perfectly lovely Cave. Besides, my husband works at SHS too and I like being on the same campus as the love of my life,” I said, pointedly.
“If you change your mind, let me know. Enjoy your meeting. Welcome back to The Clique,” Mr. D said as I quickly walked away to find the room Graphic Design was meeting in.
Now, this may come as a surprise to you all, but I am NOT a social creature. Truly. Beatle is my best friend and aside from Cali all my other friends are on the ReddX Discord (hence my desire to not get myself banned over there). And I am 150% ok with that. At that moment I wanted to be in my Cave more than anything. The pressure to be ‘on’ and social was beyond exhausting to me, especially this late in the year. But, always the professional, I mustered every bit of perky in me to be lovely to my other-campus counterparts.
This proved to be a challenge. One of them, more of a Karen than a Beard really, would not shut up about how amazing her campus was and how she never had issues with phones because her kids were so well-behaved. She also said she couldn’t post work early because they would have it done before they ever got to class. Oh, and of course she is teaching graphic design because she needed a break from her real job as an engineer. And oh, did she mention she is an engineer? Because she’s an engineer. She also went on and on about how she didn’t like the curriculum at another campus she was at so she complained and got 68 teachers from all over the country to back her up and they changed the whole curriculum to what she wanted. OK, whatever. I wanted to ask if everyone stood up and cheered too.
Another teacher was just insufferable. She kept asking for the same bloody stuff over and over even after being told it wasn’t in the budget. She didn’t know the cost of any of it, just that everything she wanted (think equipment and software licenses) was expensive and our budget is next to nothing right now. She didn’t even make arguments as to why we needed it. She just kept asking for the same stuff in the same way. All of it was stuff we didn’t need and most of us wouldn’t even use.
I contributed my thoughts on what I felt needed to be added to the curriculum, which was met with agreement. I really only had that one suggestion. The rest of the time I let them do their thing, which was woefully unorganized, disjointed, and overall a waste of time I could be grading papers. And so I decided that while they did their thing I would organize my Google Drive. As I was doing this I noticed something. I was still the owner on ALL the ESL files for SHS. Not just the ones I created…ALL OF THEM. If I were to hit delete SHS would literally have to start from scratch organizing their program with new teachers next year. But Ms. Dean did make clear I was to have nothing to do with ESL anymore. If I deleted the folders was that malicious compliance? Or just being a bitch for the sake of it? I still haven’t decided…I find the situation humorous, in not a bit morally ambiguous.
Ultimately, it was decided that 1 day wasn’t enough for our meeting so we would meet again one week later at the same place. I declined. I needed to be on my campus because I did have actual work to do. Grades would be due the day they wanted to meet. I wasn’t the only one. About half of the graphic design teachers agreed to meet again the following week and we would all be meeting again August 1st. So I get to start my school year back at ‘The Clique’. Lovely.
Yeah, this was a very real reminder that for all the beardery at Standard High, it could be SO much worse.

1. “Lunchtime!”

After that long mammoth of a tale that the last story was, here is a short one for you.
This happened the day after my meeting at CHS. Sonia wanted to end the school year with some team building so she asked Ms. Dean if they could have an off-campus team meeting at a nearby restaurant and grab some food. Ms. Dean told them no. Sonia then decided they would just order takeaway and do the same thing on campus. She reserved a conference room and everything.
So the day of the eat and meet came. Beatle had ordered some enchiladas and was looking forward to a hot meal during the workday. CovidBeard didn’t go because she said she wasn’t feeling well and needed to just go home early. I know that comes as a shock. Meanwhile, ManiBeard decided he would sit next to his bff, Beatle. ManiBeard hadn’t ordered any food because ‘the catering menu looked good, but nothing on the regular menu appealed to me’. What ManiBeard did have, however, was a bag of crackers. As Beatle tried to eat his food, ManiBeard both ate his crackers and talked at the same time. It didn’t take long for Beatle to realize that small bits of cracker crumbs were flying at him and his food. He shifted to the side to dodge the airborne particles that threatened to infect his space. It was here that ManiBeard declared he had signed his contract but still wasn’t sure if he would be back next year because he had until July 3rd to pull out of his contract and he really just didn’t want to make a commitment.
After the meeting, everyone went their own way, except ManiBeard, who cornered Beatle in the mudroom. I was in my Cave waiting for him when I got a text ‘SOS, I’ve been cornered! Mudroom!’
I sighed, “Come on Wee One. We have to go save Dad.”
Wee One chuckled, “Oh no.” She followed me faithfully as we headed downstairs.
“Oh, good, you’re here already. We gotta go Love. Wee One has that thing…see ya later ManiBeard!” I said as I grabbed Beatle’s arm as I passed and just kept walking.
The next day Beatle went into Sonia’s room for inclusion and she smiled at him, “Sure you got all the crumbs off?” she teased.
Beatle rolled his eyes, “Right?!”
Sonia nodded, “ManiBeard is why I don’t eat lunch in the workroom anymore. ManiBeard would walk over to me and just stand over me…like right over me…and talk while he ate which would just send food everywhere. One day he was eating some chicken salad and a piece of chicken flew out of his mouth and landed on my arm.”
“Oh bloody hell. That’s disgusting,” Beatle said before vowing not to be near ManiBeard eating ever again.

1. “Little Lies”

Ever since it was announced PastorBeard was the new dept head he had been walking around like a roster puffing out his chest. He had also been going out of his way to talk to Beatle, as if to rub in that he got the dept head job and Beatle didn’t. It was annoying, but I stayed out of it. I even played nice when PastorBeard stopped me in the parking lot one day and asked me about my weekend plans while I was waiting for Beatle.
“What are you plans this weekend, Mandy?” PastorBeard asked as he leaned against the side of my car.
“Oh, nothing major. Weekend chores. Beatle has some school work to get done and he’s going to put some snake repellant in the yard…I’ll probably clean the house and spend some time with my mum,” I said, trying to be pleasant as I could be. What I really wanted to do was to tell him he was a bastard that should never teach, let alone lead a dept.
“You should come to watch me on Sunday. I’m preaching his weekend,” he said with a smile. His tone came off like he intended it to be a flex.
I forced a smiled, “No thanks. Not my thing.”
“God isn’t ‘your thing’?” he asked, leaning towards me a bit.
I took a step back, “Not the same one you believe in.” I started absentmindedly playing with the Flower of Aphrodite pendant I wore around my neck.
“Are you Catholic or something?” he asked.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. People presumed since Beatle was Irish that we were a Catholic family a lot. Instead, I shook my head, “No. Actually, if you must know, I’m Pagan.”
PastorBeard looked taken aback, “Oh…I see.”
“So, while I appreciate the invite…not my thing,” I said again.
“You should come anyway. I’d love to look out on Sunday and see you there. And who knows? If you hear what I have to say you may change your mind about being pagan,” PastorBeard said with a cocky smile.
I looked around hoping Beatle and Wee One were going to be there soon, “I doubt it…anyway…um…I hate to keep you on a Friday.”
“I’m not in a rush. You’re fine,” he said, “Did you hear I’m the new dept head?”
“Yeah. I know,” I said, “Beatle told me. He applied to you know.”
“I know. They need someone that is a strong leader for the job though, someone that can guide the dept the way I guide the church. They can’t pick someone with a weak personality. A man should be able to lead…his church, his work, and of course his wife,” PastorBeard said pointedly.
“Uh huh…a good leader knows when to defer to those wiser than he,” I said as I saw Beatle and Wee One, “Love! Hey!” I waved.
Beatle saw PastorBeard and looked unhappy, “Hi PastorBeard.”
“Have a good weekend you guys. See you later Mandy…think about my offer,” he said as he went and got into his truck that sat on tires far too big for it.
“What was that?” Beatle asked when we got in the car.
I shrugged, “He was either hitting on me or he was just being a pompous arse…or both. Hard to say.”
And we went on our way.
The next work day Beatle walked into the workroom and saw PastorBeard in there talking to Vera (the assistant mentioned in chapter 26.)
“Just do your best to set them up for success,” PastorBeard told Vera as he walked out of the workroom.
Vera sighed.
“Are you ok mate?” Beatle asked her.
Vera shook her head, “We’re almost done. Almost there.”
“What happened?” Beatle asked.
“Well, only 2 of the kids in that group in the hall workspace need my help,” Vera said pointing to a group outside PastorBeard’s room, “The others are kids missing work and PastorBeard kicked them out of the classroom. I’m supposed to watch them and make sure they behave but they already told me they aren’t going to do anything.”
Beatle’s expression went dark, “You’re a SPED assistant. Not a babysitter.”
“I know, but I’ve never seen him actually help anyone. He doesn’t go around the room to help. Just tells them to be quiet and pokes them. I don’t know why he feels the need to touch them. He tells them if they need help they can go to him and he just sits at his desk the whole time…but no one is gonna go to him for help because they don’t like him,” Vera vented.
Beatle sighed, “You know he’s dept head next year, right?”
“Oh, I know. He told me no one else wanted it,” Vera said sadly.
Beatle blinked, “No ma’am. I interviewed for it.”
“That’s just what I heard,” Vera said.
“He lied,” Beatle shook his head.
What PastorBeard didn’t know is that Beatle had something else in the works…we weren’t sure it would pan out at this point (as of this writing we still aren’t), but Beatle wasn’t going to take PastorBeard’s crap lying down…and for that, I was proud of him.

1. “Wrapping It Up”

3.5 days till summer. Grades were due. I sat at my computer to adjust the grade book and turned on some music. Not even kidding, ‘The Final Countdown’ was on the radio (yes, I listen to the radio. Satellite Radio to be precise). It was the perfect music for working on my end-of-year checklist. I felt like I was in a movie and this was my montage music!
We reached the point in the year when all the teachers were just playing movies. For my part, I was letting them watch the Super Mario Movie. I had some happy students. I also wrote Wee One a pass to spend the day in my room. She was done with her work and wanted to help me with some Graphic Design work for next year’s launch (we are launching an on-campus design firm). She asked me which workstation she could work at and I did the worst thing a mum can do to her child. I sat her next to my baby neckbeard. She started working but within 10 minutes she came to my desk.
“Mom…” she started.
I looked at her. “Excuse me?”
She sighed, “I’m sorry…Ms. Mandy?”
“Yes ma’am?” I asked her.
“Can I sit on the other side of the room…it’s less claustrophobic and I have a friend over there…” she trailed off.
I chuckled and leaned in so only she could hear me, “You don’t appreciate sitting next to the baby neckbeard?”
She looked sheepish, “Not really.”
“Can you smell him?” I asked.
She made a disgusted face, “Sort of, yeah.”
“OK, yes, go ahead and move,” I nodded.
In the meantime, Beatle was texting me:
Beatle: Why does ManiBeard always start class with “How are we?” instead of “How are you?”?
Mandy: Because that’s what’s in his programming.
Beatle: LMAO! Point. I will not miss him this summer. You know he said he is only helping with graduation because he didn’t help with either dance. I thought it was mandatory that we do one of the 1 dances.
Mandy: Sigh. 1) yes it is and I bet they got on him and forced him to help with graduation and 2) why the hell would they let him help with graduation? That event is stressful enough without adding ManiBeard to the mix.
Beatle: He said he rather work graduation because it’s his favorite event because he gets to see the kids move on.
Mandy: But he’s a freshman teacher. He doesn’t know many if any, seniors.
Beatle: I know! Oh, CovidBeard is leaving.
Mandy: WHAT?! FOREVER?!
Beatle: I’m watching her class for the rest of the period.
Mandy: Oh, just for today.
Beatle: Yeah. Don’t get too excited.
Mandy: Damn. 3.5 days left. Heaven forbid she stick it out.
Beatle: Right?
And right about the time I was hoping my Beard encounters were over. At least until graduation…it happened. I had to email EnglishBeard. Why? Because I needed one of his students (who happened to be one of my most talented graphic design students) to come to my class the next day during his class. I cringed at having to interact with him. I asked Beatle if I should even bother. “We’re not doing anything, why would he say no?” Beatle asked. “He’s a beard.” I replied. “Fair.” Beatle conceded.
Finally, I took a breath and started to type: “EnglishBeard, if it is alright with you, can Sara come to my class during 5th period tomorrow to do some Graphic Design work? Thanks, Mandy”
2 hours later, he replied, “What work? Why should I send her to an elective? My class is core.”
I sighed, “It’s ok if you are doing something in class. I just thought it would be ok if you are just watching movies.” I replied.
“We are just watching movies, but my class is still a core class and yours is not,” EnglishBeard replied.
“You are correct. However, Sara is going to be in my Graphic 3 class next year and I want to get all my Graphic 3 students together for a meeting before the end of the year and the rest of them are in my 5th period. If you don’t want to send her that is fine,” I replied.
“Ok, that would be fine. I will allow it,” EnglishBeard finally said.
I sighed and wrote a pass to give to Sara.
Meanwhile, in the English 1 meeting, Beatle was dealing with his own Beard.
“And the Beard came back….CovidBeard came back for the meeting,” Beatle texted me.
“WHY?!” I texted back.
“IDK! I’m spraying Lysol when she leaves the room. She’s like ‘I’m sitting here sweating. I have no idea what I have.’ I guess she came back for attention,” Beatle replied.
I sighed as I typed, “Probably.”
Why did all these Beards have to come back? Why couldn’t this be last year when we had the mass exodus of Beards? That was nice. I liked that.
Maybe they would get less beardy over the summer?
Probably not.

1. “Graduation Day”

Have you ever sat through a graduation ceremony? If you have you know how dull they are. Being part of it is even worse. Graduation in Australia was quite different, but when I graduated from college in America Beatle practically had to force me into the cap and gown. It was not something I have ever liked…so the irony that I volunteer every year (except next year when Wee One graduates) is not lost on me. Mostly, I do it because I know it means something to the kids to see their teachers there. That said, I silently curse in my head the entire time while making sure to smile, be peppy, and congratulate even the most ungrateful of students. While I don’t look back on my graduation fondly, some of them might and I want to help provide good memories.
Graduation isn’t just on that day either. The day before we have to participate in graduation practice, which is just as awful, if not worse. I did entertain myself by watching ManiBeard however.
We all gathered in the practice gym to line up and then once everyone was in place we processed into the main gym. The practice gym was so bloody hot that I was sweating. It was so bloody hot that ManiBeard actually took off his cardigan for the first time all year. I have now confirmed he does have arms under it. Bloke never takes off his cardigan/coat…even when the outside temp is 100+ in Fahrenheit. I further observed only to realize that they had, for some reason, put ManiBeard in the same row as 2 of the baby beards I’ve been observing over the course of the year. ManiBeard was as clueless as one might expect and had no idea how to manage the kids and telling them when to stand, when to sit, when to walk, etc. He made it through graduation practice, but I was seriously concerned about the next day. I was also concerned because I saw the gown they set aside for Mani. It was huge! He was going to look like a puppy wearing his owner’s sweater. Let the chaos commence!
And commence it did. Shortly after lunch Beatle texted me “OZZY ISN’T COMING BACK! WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON AROUND HERE?!”
Remember Ozzy? The other Australian on campus? Yeah, evidently he said, “this really isn’t something I foresaw happening. It is something I needed to do. But please, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m excited to leave. I’m not. It’s actually been really hard packing up my things.” Ozzy had been around since the campus opened in 2016. It was a true shock to see him leave and Beatle was very distraught over it. Honestly, so was I.
After school Beatle barrelled into his classroom, “OK, mate, what the hell is going on?”
The conversation was private so I’m not going to detail it, but I will say that circumstances happened so that Ozzy had to go back to Australia. He was not happy about it. He said he thought he would retire from Standard High, but life happens. This was a blow, but we wish him the best.
I found out later that night that ManiBeard managed to out-beard himself. He did the beardiest thing he’d ever done.
“Did you guys meet today in E1?” I asked Beatle.
“Yeah, but it was more social than a meeting,” Beatle replied.
“ManiBeard? Social? How did that go?” I asked.
Beatle chuckled, “ManiBeard wasn’t there.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he miscalculated all his grades and had to redo them,” Beatle said.
I froze as I tried to register what he said. Finally I spoke, “But our gradebook is automated. We don’t calculate anything. We put in the number and bam…grades. How the hell did Mani manage to ‘miscalculate’ grades?”
“No idea, but admin wasn’t happy. They sent in Lana to guide him through it,” Beatle said.
I laughed, “Oh my god! After everything he did to keep Lana out of his room she ended up fixing his gradebook? The irony is too delicious! This has got to be the beardiest thing he has ever done. How the fuck do you miscalculate grades in and automated gradebook?!”
Beatle shrugged, “Talent?”
The next morning (THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL) an email started circulating from teachers that were worried about getting left at the arena we were holding graduation in. They wanted to ensure the bus wouldn’t leave them behind. Beatle and I watched as the emails flooded our inboxes. ManiBeard: “I need a ride too.” EnglishBeard: “Don’t leave me behind!” HistoryBeard: “I look like too much of an escaped inmate to safely hitchhike. Don’t leave me either.” MathBeard:I need the bus to get back to school.”
It was at that point I texted my brother to see if he could pick Beatle and I up after graduation. To be clear, we have to ride the bus over with students so taking our own car wasn’t an option…but riding the BeardBus home did not appeal to either of us. I like getting fodder for stories, but I’m not a complete sadomasochist. My brother agreed and I felt relief wash over me.
Beatle and I ended up combining our classes in my Cave for the last day because we bought breakfast tacos and donuts for the kids and it was easier to combine classes than to try to split the food. So, most of the last day was the kids eating and playing Mario Kart on our Switch. It was pretty fun. I did leave the kids with Beatle at one point so I could go down to Cook’s kitchen and do my department check-out stuff. When I say Cook had a professional kitchen that is not hyperbole. The culinary kitchen at Standard High is anything but standard. We’re talking a state-of-the-art kitchen that any head chef would be in awe of. It’s truly a thing to behold and for high school students? Yeah, it is pretty bloody great. Oh, and the cutting boards…let me tell you about the numerous cutting boards!
…I’m kidding Red! Just kidding!
But yeah, the kitchen is pretty great. Anyway, when I went into said kitchen, MediaBeard was in there doing his check-out as well. When he saw me he smiled and turned to me.
“Mandy, thank you so much for everything you did for me this year. It was a rough year and you had my back. I truly appreciate you, thank you,” he said as he hugged me.
I hugged him back, “Aww, mate…I got ya. Anytime. Next year will be better.”
When I said back in Chapter 1 that MediaBeard was certainly a Beard, but one of the ‘good’ beards, this is what I meant. Yes, he can be a bit…well…beardly. But, the bloke has a good heart. And I am glad he will be back next year. I’m going to try to mentor him now that I’m settled in graphic design. I am also glad he will not be Wee One’s teacher next year. She’s decided to take graphic design 3 and animation 1 which means she will have me as her teacher for 3 out of 8 periods. Come to find out she likes me as her teacher. And I’m pretty hard on her. She said I made her better. I must be doing something right!
Cook has 100% become my work Mum and I adore her. She plans to have a department soiree before school starts and for the first time ever I’m actually looking forward to going to a department function, solely because of Cook. She is amazing.
Finally, as long last, the 2022-2023 school year ended. All the non-senior students left and the seniors arrived.
Beatle and I scarfed our lunch down and headed to the gym… this is where graduation truly begins.
I put my gown on over my work clothes as did Beatle. We sat together and chatted for a bit before he went to his row to help organize kids. I was left sitting alone in my row as the students filed in. And, as I usually do in these situations, I started to observe my surroundings and live a bit in my own head.
I saw some teachers grouped up talking and laughing near me. For a moment I felt that loneliness I felt all through school (until I met Beatle). I had a moment of feeling like that ‘weird blonde kid’ again. I guess it never really goes away. It was a reminder that from the day we met (see SquirrelBeard for that story) Beatle has always been where I fit. Does anyone else ever have a moment of reversion like that? Where even as an adult you remember how it was to be an outcast at 15 or whatever? Maybe it’s just me? Maybe it’s because I work in a high school?
In any case, I snapped out of it and looked around. What caught my eye was a pair of BRIGHT crimson skinny jeans. And the wearer? ManiBeard. OF COURSE! He also had on a plain white t-shirt with the district logo on it that we got free at the start of the year and Van trainers. What was the dress code for this event that admin had explicitly given us the day before? Dress pants and a Polo or button-up for men or a suit for men, a dress or nice pants and shirt for women, dress shoes, and absolutely no jeans, trainers, or t-shirts. Yeah. For J’s part he had on black pants and a black button-up shirt with a tie. He looked good. It was also the first time he got to wear his Master’s hood at a graduation, which was pretty frickin cool too! I had on black pants and a nice shirt. I was not wearing a dress at graduation. Just, no. Anyway…ManiBeard…right…so he wore EXACTLY what admin said don’t wear. Cause…ManiBeard. And I was right, his gown made him look like a puppy wearing his owner’s sweater. It would have been cute if it was anyone but Mani. Instead he just looked robotic and lost. And, exactly like I suspected, he didn’t talk to any of the kids. He didn’t even congratulate them. Probably because he teachers 9th graders and didn’t know any of these kids and had no connection to them. Beatle knew a lot of them. These were the kids that he taught his first year as freshmen so he had seen them through all 4 years. It was emotional for him.
It was around this time I turned around and noticed paramedics in the hall. I later found out a student (one of mine actually) had a seizure. I had seen them roll a kid out of the building on an office chair but I didn’t know who under Mr. Principal told me later. As all of this was happening APBeard said they put a sign up sheet on the stage for any teacher that needed to take the bus back to campus after the ceremony. A bunch of teachers headed to the stage. One that looked like a textbook beard said, as he walked past me, “that would be all of us. Like any of us can afford an Uber with what they pay us.” I raised an eyebrow and looked the man over. “That has GOT to be HistoryBeard” I thought to myself. Beatle ran up behind me.
“See that bloke up there…the one at the sign up sheet right now?” Beatle asked me quietly.
“Yeah,” I said.
“That’s HistoryBeard,” he confirmed.
“I knew it! I knew that had to be him. Damn, he is a beard and it’s not even just on the inside,” I said.
Beatle shook his head, “No, he’s one that is beard inside and out.”
I shuttered as Beatle returned to his seat.
About 45 minutes later we boarded the bus and headed to the arena. I hoped everything would be smooth sailing from there, but that would have been WAY too easy.
So, I need to paint a bit of a picture here…have you ever been backstage at an arena? It’s not a huge space…and when you put a couple hundred people back there…it’s a tight fit. We were lucky to have a 2 inch radius around us. Personal space does not exist when you cram everyone back there. And we had to line up in order. Each row had a letter. It seemed everything was fine. My row was in order…but something felt off. That’s when I realized whoever set the signs up doesn’t know the bloody alphabet because instead of A, B, C, D, E, F, G it went A, B, C, D, E, G, F. I was in row F. I realized the error but I also wasn’t about to move anything without telling an AP. So I found an AP that said he had to find another AP and 3 APs later I was told to swap Rows F and G. I helped correct the signed and then we had to shift the rows with VERY little space. It was…something.
It was hot, cramped, and miserable. Beatle told me later some of the kids in his row snuck back into a supply room and were stealing popcorn. It was in the moments of being back stage I remembered why last year I said to myself ‘never again, I’m never doing graduation again’. I’m really not next year cause of Wee One and I’ll probably forget the year after and volunteer again. Cause teacher brain. Anyway, it was finally go time and we walked out, sat down, and the ceremony started. All done? Not quite.
For the sake of wrapping this up I’ll quickly list the crap that happened during the ceremony:

1. Someone in the stands called to a kid ‘you look like ET but we love you anyway!’ to which a graduate yelled back ‘you’re an asshole’. Classy.
2. ManiBeard was clueless and lost. He may as well have not even been there because he was mostly just in the way.
3. The boys decided it was great fun to pretend to fall on stage just before the got to Mr. Principal. This happened 4 times. A 5th pretended he was about to fall then twerked instead. Again, classy. Ladies and gentleman, our future.
4. A boy in the row in front of me turned around and was using his program to sword fight with a boy in my row. I gave them the ‘mom/teacher look’ and they both got a panicked look and said ‘sorry ma’am’ before sitting straight for the rest of the ceremony. Maybe Wee One is right. Maybe I am scary.
5. MediaBeard made the senior video and it was awful. I have a hard time believing he worked ‘in the industry’. Next year I’m going to see if he will let me do some graphic design templates for him. It will be part of my proposal to mentor him.

And then graduation was over. Beatle and I checked with Number One and were cleared to leave. Brother picked us up and we headed to dinner (where Brother once again came very close to getting the name BrotherBeard) and summer began.
And that concludes this year of School of Beards. If there is any demand I will be back in the fall because with all the beards returning I am sure to have a new batch of tales. I sincerely want to thank everyone that had come on this journey with me, Red for reading (and being a mate), and Beatle for supporting me and allowing me to share his stories. I mostly want to thank everyone that has listened to Red read these stories because that is the most amazing thing…hearing these stories read and getting his insight. I do appreciate it more than I can say. Keep an eye out for the rest of BowserBeard this summer and maybe a couple of one-offs.
Now, to end this year I decided to try my hand at my first parody song. Apologies if it’s not very good. Like I said, it’s my first one. I hope it doesn’t suck!
“BeardSchool’s Out” (Parody of “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper)
Well, we got no choice
But to hear the noise
Listenin to the beards’ voice
The poor girls and boys
Well, we can't escape ya
Can't find an out
And when they start to shout
Education’s in doubt
BeardSchool's out for summer
Beards go into slumber
Beardschool makes us shutter
No more Mani
No more English
No more preacher's judgment, yeah
Well, Mani can’t control his class
And Pastor’s got the Principal
And the students pay the price
We can't even think about next year
BeardSchool's out for summer
Beards go into slumber
Beardschool makes us shutter
No more Media
No more Math Emails
No more two-faced Dean
Out for summer
Out 'til fall
Do the beards have to come back at all
Beards go slumber
BeardSchool's out for summer
Watch the Beards lumber
BeardSchool’s out till August

So I’ve been down the rabbit hole, trying to chase every off-the-cuff reference, stray allegory, allusion, comparison, and tangent. I’m going to need you to bear (hug) with me for a bit because I think I’ve stumbled on some truly insane parallels between this show and the myriad of references it makes and it will take a lot of text to justify to you that I'm not crazy (or that I am, but at least I do my research).
This is a show that employs a ton of intertextuality and what the poet T.S. Eliot (someone quoted frequently throughout the series) calls “the mythic method”: essentially using historical, literary, and mythological allusions to draw parallels between characters on the show and characters throughout history (real and imagined).
This method helps the audience to build both conscious and unconscious associations with each of the characters and, ultimately, underscores the Roys’ (and humanity’s) damning commitment to making the same mistakes over and over again. The show seems to draw a lot from Greek mythology, Arthurian legend, biblical parables, Shakespearean tragedy, and modernist poetry (among many other things).
These networks of symbolism span from the earliest recorded history to modern celebrity culture and yet they reveal frighteningly unchanged elements in the stories they tell. The parallels of these references throughout the show serve to highlight the cyclical (the illusion of progress) and deterministic (the illusion of free will) nature of existence.
While I will be dipping in and out of the existing references, I want to call particular attention to the poetry of the aforementioned T.S. Eliot (who champions the mythic method) and John Berryman’s poem Dream Song 29 because I believe much of their work has served as a foundation for characters.
In the show, Frank makes mention of his poem “The Long Song Of J Alfred Prufrock” more than once. Outside of the show, Matthew McFayden (the actor who plays Tom) references the same poem to describe his character. Jeremy Strong (the actor who plays Kendall) says Eliot’s work The Four Quartets is a huge inspiration to his acting and character. A line from this particular work did strike me as being quite on the nose, which is why I continued to comb the poem for more (which it does deliver on):

"In my beginning is my end. In succession Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended, Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place Is an open field, or a factory, or a by-pass. Old stone to new building, old timber to new fires, Old fires to ashes, and ashes to the earth Which is already flesh, fur and faeces, Bone of man and beast, cornstalk and leaf."

This will probably be a monster of a post, so I will attempt to break down the following sections between poetic parallels, visual and dialogic symbolism of eternal recurrence, and an exploration of the historical and mythological allusions. Ultimately, I believe all of these clues point to the overwhelming conclusion that we will end where we began, in some way or another.
Circles & Cycles: Endless Recurrence & The Futility Of Progress
The show toys a lot with the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence, which postulates that “time repeats itself in an infinite loop, and that exactly the same events will continue to occur in exactly the same way, over and over again, for eternity.”
These eternal loops are symbolized visually with mirrors, water, fractal reflections; in the “uh-huh” and “mhmms” of repeated, near-palindromic dialogue; and in the show events that echo and repeat: in-air death scares, asynchronous business deals, family betrayal, weddings, retreats, implosions, family reunions, trauma bonding, baptism, funerals, etc.
In this understanding of time, there is no linear progress — or even progress at all. Time is cyclical. People are cyclical. As are the events that transpire. This is particularly interesting in a show like Succession whose title alone implies the phrase “line of succession.” Viewers would expect to see what comes next — who comes next — but as Logan himself yells, “Nothing is a line. Everything is moving all the time.”
Logan consistently evokes the circle shape in his speech, “Put a circle around him” he tells Shiv. “We’ve been circling for an hour, tell them we’re out of gas,” he complains in a moment of grim foreshadowing on his plane. “Crawl in a circle and close your eyes,” he shouts during the game of Boar on the Floor.
And he is the bright, burning nebulous center of this circle. He’s described as “carr[ying] his gravity. He's not a man, he's a f*cking planet.” And the people around him are described like satellites and moons. Characters exist in his orbit. And every complete orbit (or “revolution”) leaves characters in exactly the same place. There are motions, there is the illusion of progress, but the result is the same. Eliot again:

“every attempt Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure”

With this understanding, the show may just end where it begins. Not only in “nothing” happening, but in repeating the same events ad infinitum: A kid tries to take over the family business, they try to align with their siblings, they eventually backstab their siblings, they end out in the cold, and then they reunite, swear not to do it again, until it all repeats.
As most of us are aware, the show has made very direct mention of the John Berryman poem Dream Song 29. The names of the past three season finales (as well as the name of the upcoming fourth) are all direct excerpts from the poem, which deals with grief and sadness and the guilt of killing someone when you can’t even confirm there’s been someone killed at all.
Berryman consistently wrote about the guilt and grief he experienced from his father’s suicide. Berryman himself would eventually end up taking his own life, which on its own is a brutal reminder of the cycles of trauma. It also doesn’t feel insignificant that Berryman jumped off a bridge.
What’s really interesting is how each subsequent finale is named for a line that comes earlier and earlier in the poem. It also toys with this concept that things come full circle and end where they begin. This echoes Eliot’s essential thesis of the poem:

“What we call the beginning is often the end And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

But while the speaker of the poem comes to realize he has not murdered “nobody” by the poem’s last line; Kendall, moving through the poem backward, must reckon with the idea that he may have killed somebody even if they were a “nobody.” And while we may encounter this as a moment in which Kendall is genuinely despairing over his season 1 inadvertent murder, I believe we are far more likely to see Kendall embrace this moment.
We see "nobody" and "no one mentioned" a lot when it comes to Logan, who believes most people are "fungible as f*ck," and "pygmies" while he's "1,000 feet tall." When Kendall is involved in the accident, we see him echo "NRPI" or no real person involved.
The reason Kendall couldn’t live up to his father’s expectations is that he couldn’t be the killer his father needed him to be (even if his morality or basis of being a good person is off). This retroactive movement through the poem could be Kendall realizing he is, in fact, the killer his father always needed him to be, enabling him to take the necessary steps of seizing the crown on his own.
Allegories & Allusions: Mythic Comparisons & Determinism
It’s Shakespearean, like Roman says, “I kill Kendall, get crowned king, like we’re in f*cking Hamlet or something.” But it’s not just Hamlet, it’s King Lear, King Richard III, Coriolanus, Macbeth. And it’s not just Shakespeare, it’s Oedipus Rex, The Odyssey, The Waste Land, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Cronus devouring his children, Romulus killing Remus, Noah cursing his child for looking upon him naked.
The concept of the monomyth was popularized in "The Hero With 1000 Faces" and discusses throughout history, throughout different times and places, different cultures, different religions, different people have developed stories with relatively similar fundamental elements. The show is rife with allusions of stories that follow that same thread. Logan is Cronus who is King Lear who is Romulus who is who is. This is another form of endless recurrence: the inability to break the cycle. Or, in a very Hamlet reference, "maybe the poison drips through."
The themes of patricide, fratricide, and incest in particular are rampant. Rhea (like Rhea Jarell) in Greek mythology is both sister and consort to Cronus. Both are part of the first generation of aptly named Titan gods. Cronus overthrew his father Uranus and learns his children are fated to overthrow him. So he eats them as soon as they are born. Logan does refer to people as food a surprising amount throughout the show, varying from red meat to vegetables. He outright calls for blood sacrifice, which evokes the language of the gods.
Logan is referenced specifically as one of the last real American titans in his obituaries and eulogies. The language around him is frequently god-like. He's known as "the big man" or even "the big man upstairs." Tom tells Greg to "be his representative here on earth"; Roman asks the audience, "who is going to climb Mt. Olympus and be the next Dr. Zeus?" And that's where the myth gets interesting.
The only child not to be eaten is Zeus, who does end up killing his father and was surprisingly interested in marrying his mother. We're familiar with this plot formula through a different archetype: the Oedipus Complex, which we see referenced in the show with “Oedipus Roy,” “Oedipussy,” and “stabbing my eyes out.” The same story is repeated again in Hamlet with brother killing and brother and son yelling at his mother about her milky breasts (something Roman does to Shiv more than once). In the show when Logan says to Roman, “You may want to f*ck your mother but I don’t.” We know none of these stories end well. As Connor muses, “It’s not right to kill one’s father; history teaches us that.”
In the story of Romulus and Remus (whose mother’s name is also Rhea), the two brothers were initially chased out of their city as potential threats to the King (yet again). They were left by the river to die and were saved by the river god (important). After successfully overthrowing the kingdom that left them for dead, they agree to found a new city. They ultimately disagreed on which hill to found it and decided to have a bird-watching competition to see who could see the most omens indicating they had divine approval for the hill. Remus says he saw 6 auspicious birds but Romulus claims to see 12. Romulus kills Remus over this.
It should remind you of Logan visiting his childhood home with Ewan: “I saw a mistle thrush at the bandstand,” and the log book he kept as a child of birds he “saw” that Ewan would cross out if he didn’t believe him. It may also echo a part of The Four Quartets, “Other echoes/ Inhabit the garden. Shall we follow?/ Quick, said the bird, find them, find them,/ Round the corner. Through the first gate,/ Into our first world, shall we follow/ The deception of the thrush?"
There is much to be said about the themes of warring brothers. Also the themes of fathers worried their children would one day overthrow them who take action to thwart or murder their children, which inadvertently sets into motion the very outcome they fear. It happens over and over again in stories old and new. As Panhandle Pete says, “I push him, he pushes me, and around and around we go.” Or as Eliot puts it, “that the wheel may turn and still / Be forever still.”
Much of these works touch on a sort of determinism, or the slow crushing reality that every action you take — even if that action is an attempt to thwart your fate — will ultimately lead to the same inevitable ending. This is the illusion of free will on top of the illusion of progress. And Logan, in fearing his children would usurp him (and also disparaging his children for not being able to), set into motion his own death and his own messy succession.
It’s also a reminder that the greatest men in life are all the same when laid to rest:

"O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark, The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant, The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters, The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers, Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees, Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark…"

Structure & Symbolism: Water As Rebirth & Destruction
The show has very much been structured around Kendall, and we watch him move through bodies of water with what feels like different symbolism each time. Is he drowning, is he reborn? We witness Kendall at his lowest point face down in a pool and at one of his highest, splashing into the Pacific ocean. We watch a man drown. We watch Logan beg Kendall for water as they walk through Adrien Brody’s maze. We watch Roman clamor for water at the funeral when he needs to calm down. Poetry has long played with this life and death dynamic in water, like the sailors dying of thirst in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s The Rime of the Ancient Mariner who cry:

“Water, water, every where,. And all the boards did shrink;. Water, water, every where,. Nor any drop to drink. The very deep did rot: O Christ!”

This sub has noted Kendall’s connection to water, which has been represented over and over visually. But once you realize every metaphor, analogy, and simile he uses is water-based, you can’t unhear it. He calls his father “a tsunami of corruption” and describes things “as more precious than water”; he calls deals “choppy” and “dead in the water,” and asks to “help steady the ship”; he offers to “row back” on business deals, says timing is “high tide,” and that he has “bigger fish to fry.”
Logan is apt to use similar water symbolism, even telling Shiv that she’s marrying a man “fathoms” beneath her. As Rhea tells him, fearful of his own monstrosity, “I can’t see the bottom of the pool. I don’t know if you care about anything. It scares me.” ATN’s major scandal was “death cruises.” Even his operating nemesis is called “Sandy.”
In fact, there is mention of all elements and seasons — in particular, fire from Shiv, air from Roman, and earth from Connor. T.S. Eliot’s The Four Quartets confront these same themes and share some surprising similarities with show scene locations, dialogue, and plot points.
That’s because Succession is an allegory for the micro and the macro: the rise and fall of families, civilizations, monarchies, dynasties, and empires. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, the cycles rinse and repeat. Eliot modeled the four quartets on the 4 elements and the 4 seasons. And you can see even in Succession a similar manifestation of 4 elements. And, well, 4 seasons of the show. (And what occurs after 4 seasons? A full revolution around the sun, bringing you to where you began.)
Water seems to be at the root of it all. Even Ewan’s eulogy meditates on his and Logan’s journey on a boat. Even their abusive uncle is named Noah. In the show, we watch our nobody die by water, we watch our main character nearly die by water, and then we watch him revive in the ocean. As Kendall and his father wind their way through Adrien Brody’s circuitous Long Island home, Kendall remarks, “I think this leads to the ocean.” Because every path leads to the sea in some way or another.
The overarching narration from T.S. Eliot’s The Waste Land is the Arthurian Legend of The Fisher King. This story is told a million different ways with a million different outcomes, but always boils down to an injured or maimed monarch ruling over a dying land. Or as Ewan refers to his "empire of shit": “He’s built a wasteland and called it an empire.”
He’s looking for someone, anyone, to heal him, rescue the kingdom, and ensure the dynasty survives. This is the myth of the holy grail, which, in this show, can be seen as the throne: The original stories of the holy grail were not Christian/religious but they do employ a lot of the same mythmaking from earlier religions and mythologies to tell their stories and thus construct their new realties. As Eliot says in The Four Quartets:

"The whole earth is our hospital Endowed by the ruined millionaire, Wherein, if we do well, we shall Die of the absolute paternal care That will not leave us, but prevents us everywhere."

I believe Kendall (and the other children) represent the grail knights who try to save the king. (On the same level they stand in for the gods, the elements, or anything at all). When Christianity became more popular, these myths adapted to Christian overtones, but they still had the Celtic and pagan myths at their core: the grail becomes the chalice from the last supper.
That’s why Kendall’s easy comparisons of himself to Jesus feel less blasphemous than revelatory. Jesus is another hero archetype in the show’s mythology. He is willing to sacrifice himself, which Kendall must do in order to become the successor his father wanted. As he says, "this is a culmination of my life's journey to be crucified for you morons."
(It’s worth noting: In some legends, the knight saves the king; in others, he inadvertently destroys him. We know Logan dies, but it does feel less likely that Waystar Royco survives.) Drowning is a constant feature of Eliot's poems, but so is baptism and renewed life. It is difficult to determine the meaning of water in either instance, except that it doesn't discriminate as a life or death bringer, which is both beautiful and terrifying.
Parallels & Predictions: Piecing The Plot & Poetry Together
To repeat again, as this show is wont to do: “Crawl in a circle and close your eyes!” Logan Roy shouts during a game of Boar On A Floor. It’s an allegory, like many games on the series, and proudly says the quiet part out loud: Logan always wins. Here’s a little boar on the floor reference in The Four Quartets:

"We move above the moving tree In light upon the figured leaf And hear upon the sodden floor Below, the boarhound and the boar Pursue their pattern as before But reconciled among the stars."

We’ve seen the L.O.G.A.N. system at work many times and with many people. He dangles a carrot, a morsel of love, as each character attempts to play the game over and over while expecting different results. They are doomed to crawl in that circle, to play that blind game, as Logan angrily shouts, “It’s fun!” And this game doesn't end in death. The children still ask. "What would dad do?"
Games on Succession (which are a consistent refrain), it turns out, are rarely fun and are often designed to humiliate or inflict pain. The same goes when characters say “I’m just kidding” after an eviscerating remark. Logan thinks life is a game, and as he says, games should be taken seriously. And because Logan explicitly makes the rules, there is no winning, just trudging around the board, passing Go, and collecting $200. The games are essentially Sisyphean tasks that the kids wouldn’t be able to win even if they were actually competent enough to run the company. And yet they keep rolling the boulder. It’s endless. The repetition. It ends where it begins.

"Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning, Every poem an epitaph. And any action Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start. We die with the dying: See, they depart, and we go with them. We are born with the dead: See, they return, and bring us with them. The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree Are of equal duration. A people without history Is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern Of timeless moments."

Please also note the use of “the rose” and “the yew tree,” which are the names of Logan’s siblings Rose and Ewan, which derives from yew-tree. Other important name comparisons include Kendall’s association to spring/river valley; Siobhan’s nickname either a knife (Shiv) or Pinky (a variation of the name Rose); Roman’s connection to Romulus/Corialanus; Tom’s name meaning “twin” because there was already someone named Judas in the bible HELLO; Logan’s name meaning little hollow, which recalls another Eliot poem, The Hollow Men.
We know this show is a game, one that isn't fun at all, and one whose rules Logan made up. Even when there's a winner, there's no winner. So it's almost futile to play at all. That said, it’s impossible to make sense of any of it all without the ending — to confirm this ball has been rolling toward an inevitable conclusion, but given the show’s ending has probably occurred already, here are my thoughts:

• Kendall drowns

This may feel a bit on the nose given we’ve already seen this almost happen to “the Kurt Cobain of floaties,” but it would certainly be poetic. This could be sad (launched from a bridge); empowering (a la The Awakening); or metaphorical (a drug overdose). At some point Kendall says, "If dad didn’t need me right now I wouldn’t know what I would be for." The kids exist with Logan as their sun; they are moons, satellites, in orbit. And when their sun dies out, they repeat the motions in the cold, slowly losing their patterns and motions. The term is science is a rogue planet and the following lines from the poem remind me of Kendall and his broken, hollow stare.
“It would be the same at the end of the journey, If you came at night like a broken king, If you came by day not knowing what you came for, It would be the same, when you leave the rough road And turn behind the pig-sty to the dull facade And the tombstone. And what you thought you came for Is only a shell, a husk of meaning From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled If at all. Either you had no purpose Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured And is altered in fulfilment.”

• Kendall is king of the ashes

Any victory feels like it will be a Pyrrhic victory regardless when you've had to systematically take down everyone you love to achieve it. The same lines above can echo here "the purpose is beyond the end you figured/And is altered in fulfilment." A hollow victory. The Fisher King question Logan poses is, "Who can replace me?" Logan wanted each of his children to display the killer instinct. Kendall’s backwards journey through Dreamsong 29 may very well see him realize he is, in fact, the killer his dad always wanted — with open eyes. This will probably involve taking down his siblings. In this version, winning is a lot like losing, which feels very Succession.

• Mattson wins it all

These Shakespearean histories and tragedies rarely end well for existing houses. With Richard III (the-multiple-lineage-ending war of the roses) and Hamlet (the-whole-house-dies-but-a-norwegian-king-swoops-in-to-take-it-all dynastic struggle) references abound. We may just see a new house rise up and rinse and repeat. This would probably also occur if the kids take each other down and leave it open for another party. We saw last season that Roman thought he had an in with Mattson until it didn’t serve Mattson anymore. I see the same thing happening between Roman and Mencken. This puts Mencken and Mattson in a position to take over, which may make Mattson win it or…

• Mattson destroys it all

When Mattson is introduced, he is referenced as a trickster. Generally, in mythology, this character is quite intelligent or in possession of secret knowledge, and he uses it for trickery and commandeering situations. (Is that blood thing real???). Hamlet concludes with every major character killing the other with their own tragic flaws until a third party Scandinavian comes in to take the crown with no necessary action or bloodshed at all. We already know he's unscrupulous; what is his end game? It reminds me of one of his early lines to Roman, which would be an eerie foreshadowing:
“Success doesn’t really interest me anymore, it’s too easy. Analysis + capital + execution. Fucking, anyone can do that. But failure, that’s a secret. Just as much failure as possible as fast as possible, burn that shit out, that’s interesting.”

• Tom betrays Shiv

We’ve seen it happen before (which is why it should happen again). We’ve also seen Tom remove the thin veneer of his ambitions to the point where he almost feels like Richard III. He has played the fool, which is Shakespearean estimation, is often equivalent to the trickster. This would be a fun and distorted parallel to Shiv offering this job to him for Logan to offer it to her. This would probably happen in conjunction with Mattson winning. As I mentioned earlier, the name Tom means “twin” and the apostle Tom was only called as such because there were already one too many “Judas” in the mix. He's also from Minnesota (the twin cities!), so this is becoming very real, you know???

• Greg betrays Tom

While we know Tom has betrayed Shiv before, we also know Greg betrayed Shiv and Tom when he spoke to Geri in the first season about Tom having a press conference on cruises. He leads Tom to believe Shiv has betrayed him, getting one over on both of them. There may also be something with the Rule of 3 and being betrayed 3 times that feels biblical. The show also makes TONS of references to holding on to blackmail for opportune moments. Will we see something like this?
I’m not a big believer that Greg will fail so far upwards that he will win (this would feel like a betrayal in its own right), but do I believe there’s a world where Greg gets himself on a piece of paper with a question mark. Maybe???

• Geri finally beats Tom

This is my personal hope because I want the Tom and Jerry allusion to be real more than any other I put together (we love a good cat and mouse game). If Mattson wins, he needs a US CEO. Geri has collected a massive amount of dirt on everyone. And to call back to season 1’s interim CEO discussions, Shiv says, “I don’t like Geri. But I don’t hate Geri either.” It would feel particularly good given how much time and effort Logan spent clarifying Geri would be terrible at the position. Especially as Logan disparaging someone generally means he’s afraid of what they can do.
I’ll end at the ending. Or conclude where Eliot did on The Four Quartets:

"We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flames are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one."

PS. Given ‘Pinky’ is another name for ‘Rose’ does this mean Shiv wins??? JK let’s just watch the show tonight and laugh at our predictions in the morning.

Hello everyone!! This is my first time ever posting anything here so please excuse me if I do something wrong! It's going to be a long and quite sad post, I'm sorry. I need a little advice on figuring out what to do.
I'm 23yo and there's this amazing girl 22yo that I've been going head over heels for from the moment I first saw her, about a year ago. We work at the same place, live in the same apartment complex, same flat even, just different floors. She's a biker and she is the coolest and sweetest person I've met in my entire life yet. She's also got a cool undercut!! Obviously we've been talking a lot since we see each other a lot, but it's all friendly. Well, she's kinda flirty sometimes, and sometimes she hugs me like there's no tomorrow, but I doubt that it means anything.
I told her that I like people, I didn't specify genders, and she told me about her ex-boyfriends, nothing about the girls or other people she liked. But I think she's been showing some signs of maybe having a queer side or at least being open to the idea, I mean, she watched euphoria several times and loved it, that should mean something maybe??? Or not.. I really don't know.... She's a social butterfly, loves to go out, sometimes flirts with her girls-friends, but you know, this is what straight girls do, right? She's got a whole lot of friends and acquaintances that are probably so much better than me, and I am a boring introvert. But she's my inspiration and I want to take care of her, be there for her, be her strength, her happiness, her motivation, her confidence... I haven't felt something like that for somebody in a while.
I feel so stuck and confused and I really don't know what to do, or who to talk to. And I can't just let it out to my friends or family. I know they wouldn't judge me, but they will not be helpful. They'll probably just tell me that it's a phase and I'm gonna find a man to settle down with, eventually, but I can barely feel anything quite like this towards men, and I don't want to lie to my significant other and myself.
I tried to get rid of those feelings by avoiding her, searching for any flaws in her, distracting myself, really doing everything google told me to, finding new people to be my inspiration. I thought it was helping. We've been so distant lately, didn't talk for a couple weeks, but I met her today and almost broke down crying after we talked, because it didn't help at all. It just made it all worse because now I'm in this mindset that I'm all lonely, I'll never be able to freely love someone and I'll be stuck forever alone. Which never was a problem before, but now it seems to be... It's so bad that I lost joy in everything I loved before. It's like anything I do to cheer myself up is a completely useless waste of time. The only thing that helps is playing sims with my sapphic families. Also my best friend, but she has her own life, she can't be there for me all the time.
Another thing is, I might move out in a year or two to another, bigger city, an hour away from where I currenty live, so not that far. In this case should I even consider telling her? Should I just bottle it up tighter and move on, move out and forget all of it, let it go, find new people and never come back? Or should I confess to her and see what happens, maybe stay there, by her side? Or maybe if I confess and she doesn't reciprocate, I'll move anyway so what's the risk, right? But then we'll have to see each other for at least a year more and it will be awkward asf. Should I stop making a fool of myself or should I suck it up and ask her?
All I know is I don't want to lose her... But even if I tell her, even if it ever works out, it's never gonna go past being girlfriends. Because we live in a place where it's pretty much illegal to be openly queer. I wish I could just move out to another lgbtqia+ free country and never have to worry about it ever again.
Thank you so much if you made it this far! I'm so sorry for such a long and depressing post.. it's a whole damn essay... but I Really needed to let it out because I'm so used to running away from my feelings all the time. I think this time might be crucial. Being able to share my story feels like a blessing. Thank you.
​
P.S. We had a couple cute "cliche"-like moments happen, like the whole same apartment complex, same flat, same job thing, it's all a coincidence... We hung out a lot in winter, we would either skate on the community ice rink in the night, she'd always hold my hand and skate in rhythm with me, or we'd slide down a little iced hill together and look at the stars. I told her about a starfall in august, and she got so exited and said we should totally go see it together. She also suggested we go camping for a whole weekend in summer, just us two, like what?? well I totally agreed to that. I had an honor to bleach her hair once, we got piercings together after that, now planning to get a tattoo together one day, when we both have time and money. Also, we got drunk together with her friends couple times, and every time I turned to her, she was already staring at me of all people no matter who was speaking?? but maybe she was just worried because I was pretty wasted? There were some more things, but that's all I can remember from the top of my head.

District 8
Towards the end of the first day of reapings, it was 4 in the evening. The youths of District 8 were lined up in their age enclosures as the victor of the previous Games, Horus Greenstaff (Game 1) was shown a tour of the factories. Horus seemed bored as he looked around, and cut the meeting short to start the reaping.
Horus wished the odds be in the favor of all of the youths, a first which became a tradition for many kindhearted victors. He then reached into the female bowl, and removed the name of sixteen year old Zara Hoffman. A scream was heard as a girl with golden ringlets of hair and blue eyes was taken to the stage. Zara was embraced by Horus, who apologized to her. Zara worked in a sweater factory part time.
Meanwhile Horus was forced to reach into the male bowl, and he read aloud the name of Avon Creeley. A portrait was shown on the screen as peacekeepers walked into fifteen year old enclosure, and grabbed a boy who had been hiding with his friends. Avon had ebony skin and combed back dark hair, and he nervously shook Horus’s hand, who stared at the young boy in amusement. Avon worked in a belt factory forty hours a week.
Zara was visited by her elder brother Anthem, his wife, and their three children. Zara sadly clung to her elder brother’s shirt, and he tearfully told her that he loved her. He kissed her forehead before she was taken to the train.
Avon was visited by his elder sister, Crochetta, her husband, and their two sons. Avon told them both that he loved them, and promised to try and make them proud, before being taken to the train.
Zara and Avon walked onto the train, and saw a blonde woman sitting on a chair. She motioned the two of them over, and introduced herself as 28 year old Coutura Bell. She was a fashion designer who had learned fighting techniques, and she taught the two how to throw knives.
She seemed happy with both of them, and also taught them proper Capitol etiquette. When the train arrived at Snow Station, the two bowed and were polite.
The next morning, Coutura started on their outfits, cute pink and purple patchwork outfits with ruffles. She then turned on the television to District 4’s reaping, claiming that District 4 always performed well.
District 4
Horus quite enjoyed the tour of the beach, and was refreshed by the time he arrived for District 4’s reaping at noon. He reached into the female bowl, and removed the name of sixteen year old Oceanette West. A girl with ginger hair and blue eyes was taken to the stage, tears streaming down her face. Horus embraced her, before turning to the male bowl. Oceanette attended school, while her parents were fishermen.
Horus reached into the male bowl, removing the name of fifteen year old Steward Croft. A shorter boy with brown hair and blue eyes walked to the stage, and shook Horus’s hand. Steward did not seem to be upset, and simply smiled politely at Horus, who seemed impressed with the calmness that Steward had. Steward was in school, and also worked in a fish oil factory part time on the weekends.
Oceanette was visited by her parents, and younger sister Marinella. She hugged both of them, and promised to try and return.
Steward was visited by his parents and younger brother Finnos. He told them that he had a plan in how to win, and hugged his family. He was then taken to the train.
Upon entering the train, Oceanette and Steward met their mentor, a 40 year old former wrestler named Octopius Wilkinson. Kraken asked his tributes to show him how they used a trident, and gave them both corrections. He then taught them about various poisonous plants and fruits, and then how to stitch up a wound.
When they arrived at Snow Station, both tributes followed their mentor through the crowd, and posed for some pictures along the way.
When they arrived back at the apartment, they met their stylist, Hector Gaul. He chose to dress them in outfits that had bubbles on it, that were filled with water. The outfits were a bit heavy, but Steward and Oceanette managed it well.

Out here looking to satisfy the need for platonic affection. Just hugging being clingy with each other and doing cute hobbies together. We can pretend to date or just be really clingy friends. I don’t really like drama but I can listen to your chikas. If you want to feel like you’ve been married for 30 years then i’m you gal. I love the idea of staying in and just minding our own business.
About me: - Sleepy head (I wear pajamas more than other clothes) - Into different nerdy hobbies - Listens to random music genres but i’m into kpop, indie, pop, etc. - Asexual - Low maintenance
About you: - Be near u-belt (preferably can host, i’d like to be able to hang out together) - No preferences in looks, just be confident - Okay with cuddling sticks (yes i’m thin) - Can respect my boundaries and patient if I reply slow at times
Hmu if you wanna know more or for vibe check. I can cook if you have a place. I prefer if you’re around u-belt for ease because I don’t know how to commute.

Are you tired of having no one to discuss your triumphs and frustrations with? Would you like an awesome friendship that grows into a serious relationship? Want a cute voice messages and cuddles partner? If you answered yes to one or all of these, then keep scrolling!
GET TO KNOW ME:

1. My name is Mira. Everyone calls me this but my full name means princess.
2. I am a 5'5, ADHD functioning intelligent and intense African woman.
3. I love reading translated fiction, cooking and the terrifying aspects of the sci-fi genre.
4. The best description of my style and appearance would probably be 90s JCPenny catalog model meets intense hippie queen but with lots of sophisticated eyeliner, perfect lipstick and a dainty nose stud to match.
5. I am a cheery, considerate and sweet woman looking for somewhere to put all this love( because it's getting heavy)!
6. My last long term relationship ended platonically seven months ago and in that time, I've done all the mental/emotional heavy lifting required to be in a new and healthy relationship.

HELLO FUTURE FRIEND/PARTNER:

1. A sense of responsibility: I am looking for someone with a strong sense of responsibility. You are ideally a man who takes his words and actions seriously, like me... sorry short termers and flakes.
   
2. A great sense of humor: you are able to laugh at the silliest of situations, occasionally yourself and don't mind a woman who explains some of her jokes to you.
   
3. Attractive: Physical appearance is important for a good relationship, but I'm looking for someone who makes an effort with their health, hygiene and appearance.
   
4. An emotionally mature individual: I am hoping you are the kind of man who is too old and too mature for mind games and knows how to communicate his feelings. This means no passive aggressiveness, stonewalling or ending arguments in a tantrum.
   
5. Looking for a relationship/friendship: I would like to meet a man who is also ready to properly be in a relationship. Building a friendship first is good but I'm looking for a partner, not a chat buddy. Strictly in the market for a one woman man. Let's give each other cute nicknames and sign it on every cheesy thing we do.
   
6. Stability: I am currently juggling a job as an assistant with my goal of pursuing a masters' degree abroad early next year hopefully. Because of this, I am interested in a man who also enjoys his work and any hobbies. Let's learn from each other as much as possible.
   

BONUS POINTS:

1. Men with accents! I have been really into accents recently, with my favorites being Irish, Scottish, Scandinavian and really any others.
2. Distance is no obstacle: While I do not mind long-distance, I would also really like the goal of meeting sooner rather than not to exchange hugs, passionate kisses and compliments. I'd like to meet someone with a similar mindset.
3. You are white (umbrella term here so all welcome), Jewish, East Asian or South Asian I love men with beautiful eyes and a big smile.
4. You are older. I have been bitten by the bug and unfortunately only like men older than me even by a few years. Age is just a number but please don't be creepy or condescending.
5. You have a thing for women who are gentle natured, thoughtful, interesting and rubenesque (which is my favorite word currently, GOOGLE IT!)
6. You are intelligent, well travelled and an all round joy to be with.

Please tell me a bit about yourself with a picture of you attached. I look forward to your message and hope to build something amazing. XO

Shadow-Verse
The moans of the zombies seem to draw Blaze into sleep as he looks at Larissa.
A voice in the darkness speaks to him... "It's time." It says.
Suddenly he is falling and images of colorful world's and places flash in the darkness, some clearly, others blurred or missing pieces...
A different feeling envelopes him and everything goes black again...
Then there's light and noise as his memory plays out in the dreamscape.

 Non Hostile Invasion ... ... Heavy footsteps pound the dirt.... "Run... Keep going!" 

Dark energy rips through the air and punches through dead trees.
A female voice answers. "I can't!"
Several blasts rock the petrified forest as a steady drone of demons grows louder and louder by they second.
A younger male voice yells. "They are geTTING CLOSER!"
"WE CAN MAKE IT, DON'T GIVE UP!"
A large flaming demon rumbles by overhead and impacts the ground.
"IT'S GONNA BE OK! JUST DON'T!......"
....
....
Earlier that Day...
A week after Velzix is defeated by Shadow things in Hell are almost back to the usual. Mihrab smiles at her King as he kisses her cheek and laughs.
Velzix walks in at the same time. "Is that happy laughter I hear? My king I am disappointed." He says.
Shadow looks at him. "You wanna fighta bout it? Loser has to shut up and not complain anymore." Says Shadow.
Velzix declines as he continues with his report then leaves.
Looking at Mihrab, Shadow says. "Lets go for a walk around the lost zone of Purgatory."
She hugs him. "Its been awhile since we have been there." She says.
Mihrab nods. They both grab their weapons and head out into the woods.
After walking for about an hour they reach the edge of the area where souls are sent when they become corrupted enough to become a demon or monster.
One of the many unknown changes due to Shadow neglecting his duty long ago and not creating new demons on top of other things, eventually losing the full control of the ability as the new system was put in place by God's angels and was acceptable as an alternative. The energy to create being directed more to the Lost planes.
Tho Shadow did recently create a cute little fun loving demon fox named Spark and Mihrab Created the equally adorable and fun loving Ember.
As they walk through the Lost Zone Shadow sees many young demons aimlessly wandering around and some fight as they walk past.
Shadow looks over at a wolf like demon that's smaller than most of the others and stops in his tracks.
"MELIODAR!" He says excitedly.
Meliodar turns to him and sees him but doesn't move.
"Meli-dar!" Mihrab Shouts.
He looks around, then smiles and runs towards them.
Shadow looks at Him. "Where have you been son?" He asks Meliodar.
He looks around and notices the other demons staring at him.
"What is it?" Meliodar asks them and they all look away.
Shadow rejoices over finding their son Meliodar and the demons move away.
Meliodar looks up at his father. "I've been here the whole time. I thought you guys didn't want me anymore so I stayed out here." He says.
Shadow is shocked at his words and looks around again to see the rest of the demons still looking in another direction.
"Why would you think that?" He asks him. "We love you and we missed you."
His son who was conceived on Earth with Mihrab looks up. "Velzix told me, you hated me and that you said to stay out here alone." He says crying.
"He lied! We never wanted to get rid of you. We sent every demon we could to find you. Velzix had this part of Hell to search! That ingrate." He says.
Shadow and Mihrab hug their son tightly. "You're home now." Shadow says to him.
He looks up at his parents and asks. "Is that true? Did you send everyone to look for me?"
Shadow smiles. "Yes, we did. But we couldn't find you." He answers.
Meliodar looks at his mother and asks "Did you try to find me?"
She smiles at him. "We did. I'm so happy we found you!" She says kissing his forehead.
He looks back at his dad. "But why did you hate me? Why did you say to leave?"
Shadow looks around. "I never said that. Velzix lied to you son, we never hated you..." He pauses. He looks down and says to himself. "Velzix will pay for this." ....
....
On the way back to the castle Shadow, Mihrab and their son play chasing each other through the petrified trees.
It takes Shadow a second to realize that Meliodar's behavior has changed and he is more tame and playful when he had not been before.
Shadow smiles and wonders what to do next as he thinks about Heaven and Earth...
Shadow looks at Mihrab. "Lets go try and live in Heaven... But lets do it without violence and see how it goes. Earth didn't go well last time. Maybe our luck will change in Heaven" He says.
Mihrab hugs her husband and kisses him on the cheek. "That sounds strange but lets try it." They both laugh.
The three of them are almost to their kingdom and are met with the sight of Velzix and his followers attacking the castle.
Shadow stops motioning for his family to go back the way they came as a demon turns and sees them.
Shadow charges forward cutting it in half and the demon's body falls to the ground as several more rush at him!
He continues fighting until he is completely surrounded. Meliodar swiftly appears and rips through them making a path to escape as the three of them run....
10 million of Velzix's supporters roar in the distance as hundreds follow closely on their heels. ....
The three of them arrive at the Leviathan pit and have no choice but to travel through it as more demons appear coming from all three sides.
Mihrab looks around for the other enter-dimensional barrier leading out the other side as the pursuing demons hesitate to enter the pit.
She locates the exit. "There! We can go through here!" She shouts.
Shadow runs towards it as he grabs Meliodar and leaps to the side avoiding a Leviathan as it slams into the dirt, the void in its mouth violently sucking in material as it turns toward them.
Shadow and Meliodar are about to be eaten when the Leviathan Lilly bursts from underground sending the other Leviathan flying as she fires a powerful beam of energy.
Looking down at Shadow, Mihrab and their son Meliodar. " You had best keep your promise to me Mihrab." Lilly says and then leaves as they exit the pit.
Looking around they don't see any demons but continue to run as their war cry gets louder and louder.
Then a group of demons appears to the left and begins firing energy beams and blasts at them as they push harder to reach the portal room within sight on the horizon a dead straight path through Hell itself. ...
Shadow's heavy footsteps pound the dirt.... "Run... Keep going!" He yells.
Dark energy rips through the air and punches through dead trees.
Mihrab stumbles in front of him. "I can't!"
Several blasts rock the petrified forest as the steady drone of demons grows louder and louder by the second.
Looking back Meliodar fires a blast."They are getting closer!"
Shadows helps Mihrab up. "WE CAN MAKE IT, DON'T GIVE UP!" He shouts above the masses.
A large flaming demon rumbles by overhead and impacts the ground.
"IT'S GONNA BE OK! JUST DON'T!......"
The massive shockwave of its impact decimates the area knocking Shadow and his family off their feet....
Shadows shakes his head. "What happened!?" He asks out loud confused as he scans the area in disbelief.
He sees a strange being standing on the horizon. It is tall, covered in black armor and has a long spear that it points at him.
Looking more intently he notices the crest from King Arthur. One of his black knights having been cast down into Hell where he turned into a demon and should be imprisoned due to his power and selling his soul.
"Guess he is a demon now." Shadow thinks as he looks nervously at the gateway to the portal room then back at the knight as it charges it's spear with energy.
The knight fires and Shadow throws himself to the side as the attack hurtles towards him blasting away the already broken and splintered dead trees as it rips up the ground.
Seeing the power of the blast Shadow and his family brace themselves as it passes with the force of an explosion and impacts nearby creating a massive mushroom cloud that rises miles into the sky and the shockwave batters the area.
Shadow looks up in horror at the crater and realizes the ground is still shaking from the impact of the attack.
He turns and sees a small figure running toward him, as he watches he is filled with relief. "Meliodar!" He cries as he sprints towards him pointing at a high ridge line that the Knight can't see behind.
Mihrab appears beside Shadow holding an injured arm as another blast hits on the far side of the ridge.
Tho the shockwave is lessened by the landmass it hits them hard. They brace themselves as Splinters of wood and crushed rock scream by and then are sucked back up into the rising cloud of the explosion.
The sound of millions of demons shakes the ground as Shadow pushes debris off himself and Meliodar. Mihrab crawls from under the shattered trunks of dead trees groaning in pain.
Shadow moves to help her up and puts out his hand as the demons come into view.
Meliodar raises his head as a glob of dark energy forms in front of his mouth.
Launching his attack a rapid fire stream of dense energy spikes streaks towards the masses of incoming demons taking out 100's as the horde moves like a wave engulfing everything.
Every demon fighting to be the first ones to kill the royal family.
Shadow looks at the demons as Mihrab and Meliodar take off towards the portal room.
"Its a good thing they don't actually work very well together and are not organized." He thinks following close beside his Family.
The Black Knight appears above, massive raven-like wings protrude from his back and a rain of laser like beams fall as he attacks.
Shadow grabs Mihrab and Meliodar as he makes a barrier with his dark energy. The beams hit exploding violently and Shadow's barrier fails from the onslaught... The attack stops suddenly and Shadow stumbles shaking his head as his body screams in agony.
Grabbing his arm Mihrab pulls him into a sprint for the portal room as their son runs along side them deflecting blasts and projectiles with his cloak of dark energy.
Reaching the doorway they dive inside as the knight strikes once more, the blast destroying the portal structure as they vanish through it closing the portal. ...
Sitting inside the portal room Shadow and his family lay sore and exhausted.
Looking at the dark portal arc Shadow knows it will be a few days before it is fixed giving them time to rest.
With his body aching he crawls over to Mihrab and Meliodar wrapping them in his arms.
Looking at her as he brushes her cheek. "Are you ok?" He asks worried.
"I'm fine but I think we should wait until we heal until traveling again." She replies as they all pass into sleep...
...
...
Shadow is the first to wake the next morning. Looking around he sees the portal that leads to the gates of Heaven.
Mihrab and Meliodar sleep a few more hours as Shadow thinks about the plan...
....
..
After waking up fully Shadow, Mihrab and their son Meliodar move through the portal leading to Heaven.
A portal only Lucifer and the angels are permitted to use.
They land on a grassy field surrounded by the most beautiful white buildings and walk to the nearest one.
Shadow looks around and sees the building is a church. He scans the area finding no sign of anyone as they are all inside giving praise for the day.
Shadow covers his ears hearing them all and even dulling his own sense of hearing has no effect on how it stings his mind.
Tho Meliodar and Mihrab seem fine.
Suddenly the pain stops and Shadow feels a presence he knows from meeting only once when he was created and assigned a place.
He starts to turn to look.... A powerful voice calmly tells him. " Do not look upon me yet for thee shall surly perish....." It says and Shadow freezes obeying.
There is a noticeable shift in energies and then the voice says. "You may now turn around safely and state your business here. It better be good for it is unspeakable for a demon to enter this place uninvited." The voice says calmly.
"My name is Shadow. This is my wife Mihrab. We have come to speak with you God." He says and there is a slight pause. "We seek to live in Heaven by just asking you without violence so we can finally live in peace where our Love isn't hated."
God chuckles amused. "You know what? Why don't you go ahead and do that and see if I am willing to let you have it after doing that?"
Shadow looks at God. "Will you surrender peacefully to us and give us life in Heaven?" He asks God.
God laughs. "What kind of question is that? Of course I'll surrender to you!" He yells happily.
Shadow looks at him in confusion. "But why would you?"
"The reason is because you are a Demon. Demons are evil creatures that hate all life." God laughs. "I have been watching you for some time Shadow Seed. I find this turn of events amusing and you haven't heard my terms yet.... Somehow you seek to have it and try non violence. As well as claiming to Love another demon. I will say I am surprised by things you do but they are also not unexpected. For me to give you Heaven. You first have to be one of my protectors of the universes. All three of you will become half human half demon beings. You will keep your powers but you will lose a significant amount of it to hide you from demons as you go about this Path to Redemption." He pauses...
"You will also be given a secondary energy as well that will be weak in you but as you learn to us it, it's power will grow as well... You will also not die of old age, hunger or human illness, only sever damage can kill you and if you do die you will be reborn or remade at your choosing. You three will become Eturnals and in time you will fight to protect the humans you have conquered on numerous occasions..... I will call upon you later to Protect my human creations from the demons of Hell and other evil in the universe. And be warned that the demons of Hell are looking for you, stay hidden and work in secret avoiding the demons till you are strong enough to rival them." He says.
Shadow is speechless. He looks at his wife who is smiling at him.
He looks back at God and sees him laughing. "So what's the verdict? Do you accept my terms of surrender?"
Shadow genuinely smiles as he says."Yes I do and I surrender as well!"
Mihrab chimes in. "I accept this as well!"
Meliodar looks at his father Shadow who nods. Turning back to God Meliodar also agrees happily.
"Good, now one more thing, here is a sword that can kill anything. It is called an Eturnal Blade and I custom make each one." He says handing a blade to each of them.
"Thank you." They say together.
God then says. "One more thing being reborn you have a very high chance of... Forgetting past lives and who you really are due to the new brain that is different. Tho it will grow used to your soul and spirit bringing the memories back as they sync over time. The same is true for being made at an adult age, tho the memories come back significantly faster than when you are born."
He then raises his hand and transforms the three of them as he said he would. "Do you want to be born or to be created at the age of 35 and 20 for Meliodar?" He asks them.
They all agree to be born and Meliodar with spend time in a lower form of Heaven to learn a few things till his parents mature and bring him into the world.
"Very good! Now this is going to be very different to you... I almost forgot... Don't listen to the darkness within and if you hear it, refuse anything it offers you. This is unknown territory so heed my warning." God says and then there is a bright flash and everything goes dark for three of them.
God turns to the many angels watching. "Lets see if they can do it. If they can, who knows maybe there could be others as well." He says to them as some seem unsure.
....
....
Blaze wakes feeling as if he is full of energy and looks over at Larissa who is looking at him smiling. "I know that look. It's about time you remembered something.
Blaze nods. "We were king and queen of hell and even had a true son. Then were made part human." He says.
Larissa flinches as suddenly the room is filled with light.

First / Previous / Next
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March 19, 2019
I sat at the pool, haven't slept in days.
"What am I gonna do?" I asked myself,
"I have two kids to take care of, and... Oh Robert, why did you have to leave?"
"MOM?" I heard Miranda say through the echo of the room.
"He- here sweetie." I answered while waving her to come over.
"Mom?, are you alright?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm fine sweetie." I said as tears were still running down my face.
She just hugged me.
"I- I." snort "I miss dad." She said while starting to sob.
"Oh baby me too." snort "Me too."
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I sat in my room that was across from mom's, I had moved to the other room we had booked, leaving mom and Miranda in the other one.
I stared out the window, not even three days were enough to process what was happening, 'Did I really have a conversation with one of them?' I guessed my brain still hadn't processed the fact that they were alien invaders that overthrew us as the dominant species, feels like a dream, waiting to wake up any minute now, maybe wake up to dad dragging me out of bed for school.
"Yeah." I said softly to myself.
"I need fresh air."
I stepped out of my room and headed to the lobby, while making my way to the door it felt like I was walking through a ghost town, even though you could see humans and aliens they still felt like they weren't there.
'Yeah a certainly need fresh air.'
As I made my way to the main entrance, a marine that I hadn't noticed before stepped into my path, so I stopped.
"You can't leave yet, need to wait five more days." she said
"Ah come on I won't go far, I'll just stay at up there." I said while signaling at the bench right outside the door.
"Orders are orders." She said, all the while holding a rifle.
I was not about to get on their bad side and get marked as a trouble maker.
"Alright, alright, jeez." I said as I walked away back to the lobby, 'I'll try the courtyard then.'
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It was a sunny day, too sunny for my liking, so I sat in the pool chairs covered by the trees above, it was nice having that perfect mix of sun rays and shade, while also getting a refreshing breeze, not to cold for me to shiver, but enough to feel comfortable.
If anything the ships above made an interesting view.
A nap felt like the best idea ever, or it would have been have it not been for Delara "Patrolling" the courtyard.
"Hey Jeeryl." She said somehow butchering my name even more, I was used to it but this was a whole 'nother level.
"Hey Delara" I answered.
"What you doing." she asked as if she didn't wake me up from my nap.
"Trying to nap." I answered while covering my eyes with my arm.
"What is nap?"
'Seriously?'
"Short sleep." I answered, hoping that would satiate her curiosity.
"Can I sit?" she asked.
After evaluating my options I chose the best one available.
"Sure, but don't you need to be working?" I asked her,
"Don't think they would notice."
"Delara can I ask you something."
"Y- Y- yes." she answered, probably trying to come up with the word.
"How is Shil?" I asked, was really curious what the planet where a purple big tiddied orc came from looked like
"Oh its really pretty, with lots of oceans and beaches, though now there is a lot more buildings, but its really pretty."
"Here have picture." She said as she pulled out her 'phone?'
It was a selfie of her with other 5 older looking women and what looked like her siblings and her dad, on a beach, it was truly beautiful, with almost impossible blue water, though in a alien planet nothing is out of limits I thought.
"Is that your family?" I asked her while pointing at the other people in the picture.
"Yes" She answered as she started to name them.
"This is my mother Arnac, this is my father Urkal."
"And the rest?" I asked, maybe they were her aunties and cousins.
"Oh this are my other mothers and siblings, this is mother Tehrisa, mother Clavnia, mother Vespra, and mother Safra, and this are all my siblings." then she proceeded to tell me their names though I was still stuck in the fact that she had apparently 4 step mothers while also having a biological mom?
"Delara, can you explain something?"
"Ah- Yeah sure."
"Why do you have so many moms and a single dad?" I asked while pointing at them in the picture.
"Oh yeah, well, we Shil'Vati have male to female birth rate of 1 to 8, so it's really normal for a single male to have several wives."
"So you all live together?"
"Yes!" she said with a lot of enthusiasm.
"What about you?" she asked back
"Well- more recently it's me, mom, my sister."
"What about your dad?"
"H- He was- He was in the city that got attacked."
'Oh' Delara thought, 'Why why why why why, why can't you keep your mouth shut, you have this cute guy TALKING to you and you come and ask about his death father, WHY brain why are you like this? Of course that's why they were all crying that morning after that news broadcast, I assumed it was just because they lived there' was what when through Delara's mind, but then she saw him start to tear up.
'Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh nonononononono don't cry, please, Hope no one sees us, quick Delara think, YES."
"Jeryl, do you want hug?"
"Huh? oh no its not nece-" I couldn't finish as Delara hugged me, and by hugging I mean suffocating me with hear great assets, I mean it was nice, they were really soft.
"Don't you worry I'm here for you." Delara said.
"hmmmfh, fmmgh." Was all Jeriel could get out.
This was nice don't get me wrong, in any other circumstances this would be an ideal way to die, but now, he really missed oxygen.
With all the forces I could muster I was able to lift my face enough to say "Delara!"
'You dumbass you are suffocating him' I screamed in the back of my head.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry." Delara repeated hysterically.
\cough* *cough** "It's okay, just don't give me a heads up next time."
"Are you okay?" she asked while moving my face left and right.
"Yeah I'm fine, don't have to worry" I answered
*Ping*
"Oh shit." Delara said in Shil, as that's what I learned their language was called, they are not really original with names it seems.
"Have to go, it was good talking to you." she said as she rushed into the building
"Well... Great second interaction."
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March 21, 2019
Today was march 21st, and this guy was turning 18, this for sure was about to be a different birthday at least.
I got out of my room for the first time today to get breakfast, I had spent all of the previous day between my and mom's room, we talked, We did our best to make her laugh and to alleviate the situation, y'know what they say, laughter is the best medicine,
On my way to the elevator I met up with Miranda to get breakfast and then get sum up for mom, I was worried she didn't get out in all of yesterday, Miranda said she cried whenever she wasn't there with her, the only thing that seemed to calm her down was TV.
We got down to the lounge where we walked past a group of marines having breakfast, they all followed me with their gaze, some even turning around.
“That’s creepy as shit” said Miranda
"What is?" I asked
"That!" she said while pointing at a group of marines having breakfast.
"Don't you see how they look at you? Isn't it a least a little bit weird?"
“Maybe, but I honestly don’t mind it, it’s not like girls paid much attention to me before”
“Ugh.” Miranda rolled her eyes
“I mean it could be worse”
“Worse? How?” she asked
“Well I don’t know, they could be ugly.
“And hey if they want a piece of me, I’m not completely opposed to it, they are basically Sheeva from mortal kombat”
“First eww, second you don’t even know how old they are or let alone how their years are different to ours.”
“Or even their biology who knows if she’s a hundred.”
“You are just jealous there isn’t any guys.”
“Yeah why is that by the way?”
“From what I understand their birth rate is disproportionate so there a very little males compared to the number of females.”
“Well that explains why they are the way they are.”
“Elaborate.”
“That plus the fact that they are soldiers, if they are anything like our marines then they might be the horniest beings on the galaxy." Miranda said a little hyperventilated.
"Just- watch out, as much as I hate you I don’t want anything bad happening to you.”
“Alright mom." I said rolling my eyes
“Oh yeah by the way how is she doing? I couldn't see her yesterday.”
“A little better.”
“Stayed up late watching that cartoon that you used to watch when you were a kid.”
"..."
"..."
We stayed in silence thinking, both of us staring at the floor.
"What are we gonna do?" I asked.
"About what?"
"About this?" I said while signaling around us, "We are homeless, mom is jobless.
"Dad... y'know." I said trying to look elsewhere, Miranda did the same.
"You are out of school, and me well it's not like I can apply to UH anymore."
"We only have the things in our luggage, and who knows where they would send us, best case scenario the hotel allows us to stay, little worse scenario the aliens relocate us to a camp somewhere else, and worse case scenario we just get thrown into the street." I said while looking around us.
"Don't know, haven't really thought about it, talk about high school experience getting ruined."
"Huh, better get this up to her before it gets cold" she said.
"Right behind you."
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We got into the room as the door unlocked, mom was in the bathroom, so we opened the curtains and set the breakfast on the little table that was in the room.
"Good morning kids" mom said.
She had really bad bags under her eyes and looked tired as a whole.
"Above all to the birthday boy" she said while hugging me and giving me a kiss on the forehead which I had to lower myself for, I might not be tall but mom was 5'0 on the spot, if the aliens were intimidating for me you must imagine how it was for her.
"Thanks mom, we brought you breakfast."
We finished eating breakfast, when mom got up from the table and went to the bathroom, but she came with a muffin.
"Where'd you get that?"
"The lounge, woke up early today, though I asked for a candle but the hotel people told me they couldn't find any."
"Well that's ok, it's the thought that matters."
We split the Muffin into three pieces, to the protest of both Miranda and mom, then we just laid back watching the peak of Canadian animation, the tale of a kid fighting an evil alien purple sphinx cat, that wants to take over earth.
"I remember you would get up for school early just so you could watch it." mom said.
"Yeah I remember that."
I thought about mentioning that it was dad's favorite cartoon but thought better of it, thought I could see that it still came to her mind.
The rest of the day was uneventful, we just stayed up watching TV, talking about stuff trying to avoid talking about our situation as much as possible, or walking through the hotel floors and lobby, there weren't many people in the hotel so, many of the people you would find had purple skin or a lot of fur.
It was already getting late I said bye to the both of them and went into my room, but it being a relatively hot day, I decided for a change in plans, going for a swim, so I put my trunks on a lose shirt grabbed my book a towel and made a b line to the door and elevator.
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Today's shift had been as uneventful as all the previous ones for Delara, just walking around checking the perimeter, questioning any suspicious locals, which there weren't many of at the hotel they were posted at, but today was warm which was nice, it reminded her of Shil and her family, which reminded her of how much she liked to swim and that there was an outdoor pool, maybe she'll find Jeryl there again, and if she didn't she would still take a swim, of course she first had to consult it with Sergeant Lyria which said that she'll allow it but to keep it civil, whatever that meant.
So she went to her quarters, grabbed her standard issue bathing suit which wasn't very different from her normal workout clothes aside from the material it was made of, she put it on and headed out.
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Jeriel sat in the same chair where he sat before, thought now instead of sleeping he was reading, he wasn't a great reader but he tried to get better, either way he still couldn't understand how people read a four hundred something page book or books in a week, he felt you didn't enjoy the book that way.
It was also unreasonably hot, if there was anything that he still didn't get used to in the US is the bipolar weather, one day is freezing, the other is hot enough to make water boil.
So reasonably so he had his shirt off, he enjoyed the calm and quiet besides the little waterfall on the pool.
That until then again he heard from behind him.
"Hey there cutie."
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First / Previous / Next
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What would happen in the next chapter? come back Wednesday to find out.
This was it for today, hope y'all enjoyed it and as always comments are welcomed.

~ 1. Introduction ~
Here is a detailed description of my wishlist for a Mario Kart 9 or 10/X (if Tour is considered the 9th installment) I don't expect everyone to like all my ideas. This is just a wishlist. I obviously would be happy with any Mario Kart Nintendo decides to put out but in a perfect world, this is what I would want for it to be the best Mario Kart imo. I hope you enjoy.
*= Thoughts, Personal opinions, New ideas for modes, mechanics, driver outfits, vehicles, items, options, etc

• with numbered annotation⁰= Explanations on certain features

🔒= Locked. Must be unlocked by in game requirements or DLC
~ 2. Mechanics ~
~ Single Player / Multiplayer 》1P》2P》3P》4P》
Grand Prix》Class Optimization》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Circuits》Cup Select》 Class Optimization options: Engine: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》All¹》All Mirror¹》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》² Drift: Automatic》Manual》³ Items: Normal》No Items》 Camera: Normal》First Person》⁴
*¹ - All and All Mirror options are only available in Grand Prix. After a Circuit has been selected, It'll play each Cup in order of that specific Circuit.
*² - All race and battle modes will feature either a Solo Dash or the new Double Dash option similar to Mario Kart Double Dash for extra replayability and character combinations.
*³ - Even if not many people liked Automatic drifting, it was there for a reason for you to choose. Some liked it. Some didn't. It should be the player's choice.
*⁴ - Camera can also be changed freely during the race from the pause menu.
Time Trials》Driver(s) Select》Circuits》Cup Select》Course Select》 Race Solo》Race Against Ghost》View Ghost》Online Ghost》Upload Ghost Data》
• VS Race》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Customized Race》Circuits》Cup Select》Course Select》 Customized Race options: Engine Class: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》Frantic》No Items》No Items and Coins》Custom》 COM: Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro¹》 COM Vehicles (Solo)²: All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 COM Vehicles (Doubles)²: All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Courses: Choose》In Order》Random》 Race Count: 4》5³》8》12》16》32》64》All》 Laps: 1》2》3》4》5》⁴
*¹ - Added a Pro difficulty to make the CPU feel more of a challenge.
*² - Wanted to split the vehicle selections between Solo Dash and Double Dash drivers. Solo Dash drivers will now only select between Karts and Bikes and Double Dash drivers will only select between ATVs and new Buggy vehicles. *Buggys are essential similar to the designs of the Karts used in Mario Kart Double Dash. ATVs are now bigger in size to help fit the idea of 2 drivers on one vehicle.
*³ - The original Super Mario Kart had 5 courses per Cup so I brought that option back for custom races.
*⁴ - Wanted to make the option available for players. These courses will be excluded from Laps option and be set to default when selected: ⁿ⁶⁴ Wario Stadium, ⁿ⁶⁴ Rainbow Road, ᵍᶜⁿ Baby Park, ᵍᶜⁿ Wario Colosseum, ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Loop, ³ᵈˢ Maka Wuhu, ³ᵈˢ Rainbow Road, ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mount Wario, and ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Big Blue.
Battle》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Customized Battle》Course Select》 Customized Battle options: Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》Frantic》Skilled》Custom》 Round Time: 1 Minute》2 Minutes》3 Minutes》4 Minutes》5 Minutes》 COM: Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro》 COM Vehicles (Solo Dash): All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 COM Vehicles (Double Dash): All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Courses: Choose》In Order》Random》 Round Count: 3 Rounds》5 Rounds》7 Rounds》¹
*¹ - I shortened the rounds. Anything past 7 rounds is too much imo but that's just me. Also being a little bias cuz I'm not a fan of battle mode.
~ Online Play 》1P》2P》
Worldwide: Grand Prix*》VS Race》Battle》
Regional: Grand Prix*》VS Race》Battle》
Friends》Create Room
Tournaments》Menu. Menu options: Create a Tournament: Icon》Name》Rules》Time Settings》Other》 *Rules options: Mode: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》Balloon》Classic Balloon¹》 Renegade Roundup》Bob-omb Blast》Shine Runners¹》Coin Runners》 Shine Thief》Thunder Cloud Tag¹》Random Battle》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》No Items》No Items or Coins》Frantic》Skilled*²》Custom》 Round Time (Battle only): 1 Minute》2 Minutes》3 Minutes》4 Minutes》5 Minutes》 COM: No COM》Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro》 Vehicles (Solo Dash): All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 Vehicles (Double Dash): All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Camera: Normal》First Person》 Smart Steering: Smart Steering OK》No Smart Steering》 *Time Settings options: Frequency: Weekly》Daily》Fixed Period》 Start Day: Sunday》Monday》Tuesday》Wednesday》Thursday》Friday》Saturday》 Start Date: Dependent》 Start Time: Dependent》 End Day: Sunday》Monday》Tuesday》Wednesday》Thursday》Friday》Saturday》 End Date: Dependent》 End Time: Dependent》 Round Count: 4 Rounds》8 Rounds》16 Rounds》 Group Shuffling: Don't Shuffle》Every 4th Match》 *Other options: Player Rating: Any Rating》0-2999》3000-9999》10000-99999》 Public/Private: Open to Everyone》Code Required》
*¹ - Scroll down to Battle section for more info.
*² - Skilled Items for Battle mode only.
Search by Code Search by Type Active Tournaments

• • A Report button will finally be added to report cheaters/hackers/etc.
• • I'm thinking Solo Dash races will feature the usual 12 players (1st - 12th place) while Double Dash races features upto 16 players but 8 groups total (1st - 8th place).
• • Worldwide and Regional Grand Prix will be 2-12 racers (or 4-16 in doubles mode) in a 4-race Cup from any randomly displayed Cups. Cups are then selected based on player voting.
• • Create Room will now feature customized options such as Mode, Teams, Items, CPUs, and Vehicles similar to the Create a Tournament option.
• • For online, I'd also like for a better ranking system to prevent casual players from racing against competitive players and vice versa.

~ MKTV
My Replays. View saved replays from previous races or battles on and offline. * You can now save more than just 6 replays.
Online Replays*¹ View shared replays from others online
Spectate*²
*¹ - Should've already been added in the first place.
²* - View recent online races or battles replays. Earn coins by voting who'll be 1st. * Literally stole this idea from Smash.
~ Other Details

• • The race start intro and race finishes to retro courses will have a remake version of their original transitions along with a rearranged verison of their original theme from that respective retro course. Example for better understanding. * Mario Kart GP courses will have the current game's race start and finish transitions.
• • I somehow also want to incorporate a way that once the Retro Grand Prix is unlocked, the title screen will have remake versions of the original title screens from previous Mario Kart games similar to Mario Party Superstars. Example
• It would show different title screens at each start up similarly to how Mario Kart 8/Deluxe's title screens Example
  
• • Sometimes the CPU seems to make decisions that only seem to target the player regardless of placement. I want a smarter CPU for harder difficulties that won't just use an item just to use. If a CPU is holding a shell, they should use it logically or defend themselves with it logically.
• • I personally am fine with every other mechanic used in Mario Kart 8/Deluxe such as driving techniques used, amiibo settings, Stats, etc. Keep the same driving techniques even during Double Dash mode. I personally was not a fan of Mario Kart Double Dash's drift mechanic and would not want that function brought back.

~ 3. Characters and Vehicles ~
~ Characters
68 Total Drivers (including DLC) 32 Total Alternate Drivers. 100 Total Individual Characters.

• • Driver select screen, press R button to rotate between alternate drivers. Some drivers will have upto 9 different outfits to choose from.
• • I wanted the original 8 to be the starting roster.

~ Drivers
Mario》Metal Mario 🔒》Tanooki Mario 🔒》Fire Mario 🔒》Ice Mario 🔒》Dr. Mario 🔒》 - Mario (Classic) 🔒 - Mario (Builder) 🔒 - Mario (SNES) 🔒 - Mario (Sunshine) 🔒 - Mario (Tuxedo) 🔒 - Mario (N64)*🔒 - Metal Mario (Gold) 🔒
Luigi》Penguin Luigi 🔒》Fire Luigi 🔒》Gooigi*🔒》 - Luigi (Classic) 🔒 - Luigi (Golf) 🔒 - Luigi (Builder) 🔒
Peach》Pink Gold Peach 🔒》Cat Peach 🔒》Fire Peach*🔒》 - Peach (Wedding) 🔒
Yoshi - Light-blue Yoshi - Black Yoshi - Red Yoshi - Yellow Yoshi - White Yoshi - Purple Yoshi - Pink Yoshi - Orange Yoshi
Bowser》Dry Bowser 🔒》Meowser 🔒》 - Dry Bowser (Gold) 🔒
Donkey Kong Jr. - Donkey Kong Jr. (SNES) 🔒
Koopa Troopa》Koopa (Freerunning) 🔒》 - Red Koopa (Freerunning) - Blue Koopa (Freerunning) - Purple Koopa (Freerunning) - Gold Koopa (Freerunning) 🔒
Toad》Cat Toad 🔒》Captain Toad 🔒》 - Toad (Pit Crew) 🔒 - Toad (Builder) 🔒 - Toad (Astronaut) 🔒 - Toad (Blue)* - Toad (Yellow)* - Toad (Green)*
Donkey Kong 🔒
Wario 🔒 - Wario (Biker)*
Daisy 🔒
Birdo 🔒 - Birdo (Light Blue) - Birdo (Black) - Birdo (Red) - Birdo (Yellow) - Birdo (White) - Birdo (Purple) - Birdo (Green) - Birdo (Orange)
Baby Mario 🔒
Baby Luigi 🔒
Toadette 🔒》Peachette 🔒》 - Toadette (Explorer) 🔒 - Toadette (Builder) 🔒 - Toadette (Astronaut) 🔒
Paratroopa 🔒 - Green Paratroopa*
Diddy Kong 🔒
Bowser Jr. 🔒
Waluigi 🔒
Petey Piranha 🔒
King Boo 🔒 - King Boo (Luigi's Mansion)
Pac-Man 🔒
Ms. Pac-Man 🔒
Blinky 🔒》Pinky》Inky》Clyde*》
Dry Bones 🔒 - Dry Bones (Gold) 🔒
R.O.B. 🔒 - R.O.B. (Famicom)*
Shy Guy 🔒 - Light-blue Shy Guy - Black Shy Guy - Green Shy Guy - Yellow Shy Guy - White Shy Guy - Blue Shy Guy - Pink Shy Guy - Orange Shy Guy
Mametchi 🔒
Baby Peach 🔒
Baby Daisy 🔒
Rosalina 🔒
Funky Kong 🔒
Mii 🔒
Honey Queen 🔒
Wiggler 🔒
Lakitu 🔒
Don-chan 🔒
Baby Rosalina 🔒
Iggy 🔒》Roy》Lemmy》Larry》Wendy》Ludwig》Morton》
Link 🔒 - Link (Champion's Tunic)
Villager 🔒 - Villager (Female)
Isabelle 🔒 - Isabelle (Winter)*
Inkling Girl 🔒 - Inkling Girl (lime green) - Inkling Girl (magenta)
Inkling Boy 🔒 - Inkling Boy (purple) - Inkling Boy (teal)
Pauline 🔒
Hammer Bro 🔒》Boomerang Bro 🔒》Ice Bro 🔒》Fire Bro 🔒》
Monty Mole 🔒
Dixie Kong 🔒
Nabbit 🔒
King Bob-omb 🔒
Kamek 🔒
Chargin' Chuck 🔒
Poochy 🔒
~ Newcomers
Noki ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Noki (Green) - Noki (Pink) - Noki (Yellow)
Pianta ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Pianta (Pink) - Pianta (Yellow) - Pianta (Purple)
Professor E. Gadd ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Toadsworth ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Luma ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Luma (Blue) - Luma (Pink) - Luma (Green) - Luma (Cyan) - Luma (Red) - Luma (Purple) - Luma (Black) - Luma (Orange)
~ DLC
Sonic the Hedgehog ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Miles "Tails" Prower ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
King K. Rool ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Kaptain K. Rool*》
Krunch ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 * Would be an excellent choice for a surprise DLC character to those familiar w/Diddy Kong Racing
Zelda ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Sheik*》
Kirby ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
King Dedede ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Captain Falcon ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Samus ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Zero Suit*》
Geno ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒

• - there's plenty of room for more characters but I figured 100 was the perfect amount of characters, especially with the double dash feature with everyone potentially having a partner with no odd person out.

~ Vehicles
Available parts. The parts available are listed here in the order shown in the vehicle customization screen, with the following notation: ¹ = Changes color, depending on the character. ² = Changes color for the Koopalings. ³ = Changes color for Daisy, Baby Daisy, Rosalina, and Baby Rosalina. (DLC) = Part is only available as downloadable content.

• Personally, I would want a system that prevents everyone from choosing the best racer with the best vehicle parts. For example If Luigi is the best racer and his best vehicle is the standard kart with mushroom tires, and gold glider, obviously everyone will choose Toad and those exact parts to win races. I want everyone to choose their favorite racer and parts that make them comfortable to race in, and not just look at a list of the best racers and parts and just copy and paste that. I don't know how to fix this honestly but I'm sure someone could help with ideas to this to make everyone equal in a way on the track with their own individuality similar to what Mario Kart 7 did with their characters.

~ Karts (Solo Dash)
Standard Kart¹ 4-Wheel Cradle 8-Bit Pipe Frame¹ Apple Kart B Dasher Badwagon Barrel Train Biddybuggy (Buggybud)¹ Birthday Girl (Royal Ribbon)²/³ Blue Falcon Blue Seven Booster Seat (Baby Booster) Bruiser (Growlster) Brute Bull's-Eye Banzai Bulldog-W ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ Bumble V Cact-R Cact-X Cat Cruiser Cheep Charger Cheep Snorkel Circuit Special¹ Clanky Kart Classic Dragster (Nostalgia 1) Cloud 9 Crawly Kart Cucumber Dasher II Daytripper (Royal Racer) Dozer Dasher Dragonfly Dry Bomber Egg 1 Flame Flyer Gold Mantis Gold Pipe Frame Gold Standard (Gold Kart) Green Apple Kart Honeycoupe (Dragonetti) Hurricane Jet Cruiser Jetsetter (Aero Glider) Jumbo Jetter Kiddie Kart¹ Koopa Clown² Landship ² Light Dancer Light Tripper Mach 8 Mini Beast (Concerto) Mushmellow Offroader P-Wing Paintster Parade Kart Penguin Slider Pink Mushmellow Pipe Frame¹ Piranha Prowler Poltergust 4000 Power Flower Prancer Prop Kart Quickshaw ROB-BLS Rambi Rider Royale Shooting Star Sky Pop ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ Sneeker (Bounder)¹ Snow Skimmer Soda Jet Sports Coupe (Sports Coupé) Sprinter (B Dasher Mk. 2) Star Broom Steel Driver Streamliner Streetle Super 1 Super Blooper (Turbo Blooper) Surf Sailer Swift Talon Tanooki Kart Tea Coupe Tiny Titan (Rally Romper) Tiny Tug Tri-Speeder Wario Car Warship Wild Wing Wildlife Yellow Taxi Zucchini (Gherkin) Speed Star ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Whirlwind Sport ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Egg Mobile ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * Was inspired by this image I found. Source Reminds me of the Egg Mobile with Monster tires White Cat ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Dark Schnieder ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Car¹ ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * Source * the number in the center will be replaced by driver's logo Dragoon Kart ⁽ᵈˡᶜ * Source
~ Bikes (Solo Dash)
Standard Bike¹ Bit Bike (Nanobike) City Tripper¹ Flame Rider Hurricane Jet Bubble (Bubble Bike) Master Cycle Zero Mr. Scooty (Mr Scooty) Phantom Quacker ROB-LGS Shooting Star (Twinkle Star) Sugarscoot (Bon Bon)¹ The Duke Varmint Wario Bike Zip Zip (Rapide) Zipper Wheelie Bike ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Bullet Bike¹ Comet Dolphin Dasher Flame Runner (Bowser Bike)¹ Jet Bike Mach Bike¹ Magikruiser¹ Master Cycle Sneakster (Nitrocycle) Sport Bike¹ Yoshi Bike¹ Zinger Sting ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * just an idea I had for a new bike based off of a beta imagine for Donkey Kong racing. Source * the number in the center will be replaced by driver's logo. Bike version of the Prop Kart
~ ATVs (Double Dash)
Standard ATV (Standard Quad)¹ Bone Rattler Inkstriker Spear (Torpedo)¹ Splat Buggy Teddy Buggy Tyrant Wild Wiggler Hovercraft¹ ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
~ Buggys (Double Dash)
Standard Buggy ¹ Banisher Bolt Buggy Bullet Blaster Coach³ * Heart Coach/Bloom Coach from Mario Kart Double Dash DK Jumbo Fire Buggy¹ * Red Fire from Mario Kart Double Dash Goo-Goo Buggy¹ Koopa Dasher Koopa King Para-Wing Pipe Buggy¹ Piranha Pipes Turbo Birdo Turbo Yoshi Waluigi Racer
~ Tires
Standard (Normal) 8-Bit Standard Ancient Tires (Ancient Tyres) Azure Roller Bicycle Tires Blue Monster Blue Standard (Normal Blue) Button Capsule Crimson Slim Cushion Cyber Slick Drum Gold 8-Bit Standard Gold Tires (Gold Wheels) Heart Rings Hot Monster (Funky Monster) Iron Leaf Tires (Leaf Tyres) Metal Monster Mushroom Mushroom Off-Road Red Monster Retro Off-Road Roller Slick Slim Snorkel Tires Sponge Triforce Tires (Triforce Tyres) Wood (Wooden) Yoshi Tires
~ Gliders
Super Glider¹ 8-Bit Jumping Mario Beast Glider (Ghastly Glider) Bowser Kite Butterfly Sunset Cloud Glider Crimson Crane Droplet Glider Eggshell Glider Eggshell Glider Fare Flier Flower Glider Gold Glider Great Sail Hylian Kite MKTV Parafoil Oilpaper Umbrella Paper Glider Parachute Paraglider (Breath of the Wild) Paraglider (Parafoil) Peach Parasol³ Plane Glider Ribbon Swooper (Swoop) Waddle Wing Waluigi Wing Wario Wing Magic Carpet ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Wizpig Glider ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Example at 00:31 Tails Flier ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Knuckles Glider ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Gunship ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
~ 4. Items ~
× – Does not appear in Battle Mode.
~ Items found on the track
Item Box - Gives the player a random item. Items given are based on the player's distance from first place. * I would like for them to look either similar to how they looked in Mario Kart 64 or Mario Kart DS' design.
Coin - Gives the player a small boost and increase top speed when more are collected, up to a maximum of ten.
Rupee - The equivalent of a coin, used for Hyrule Circuit and Zelda related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Bell - The equivalent of a coin, used for Animal Crossing. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Cash - The equivalent of a coin, used for Splatoon related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Balloon ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Diddy Kong Racing related course. Source
Item Box (Capsule) ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Sonic related course. Source
Star Block ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Kirby related course. Source
Banana ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Donkey Kong Country / Diddy Kong Racing related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
Ring ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Sonic related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
Food ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Kirby related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
~ New Items
Coin Block ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * floats above player for a short time (10 seconds). Hop to collect upto 10 coins. Can only be obtained if player has 0 coins. Replacing the Coin Box item from Mario Kart Tour. Example
~ Returning Items
Banana Peel - When a kart hits a Banana Peel, it spins out. You can carry one behind your kart to protect yourself from a single attack. Can be thrown backward and forward.
Green Shell - Travels in a straight line and knocks over a kart it hits.
Red Shell - Red Shell Homes in on the closest kart in front of the player and knocks it over.
Feather - Causes the player to spin and leap in the air, providing a small speed boost upon landing, akin to a regular trick (characters will also perform a trick animation during the jump).
Mushroom - Provides the player's kart with a small speed boost.
Super Star - Provides the player invincibility from all terrain and items, and also giving a speed boost.
Boo - Unleashes Boo, who turns the player invisible for a brief time, making them impervious to enemy attacks, and steals an opponent's item. Cannot steal Special Items.
Coinˣ - Grants the player two extra coins and a micro boost.
Lightningˣ - Causes all opponents to drop their items, shrink, and drive slowly for a short time.
Fake Item - Looks just like an item box, but when you run into it, it knocks you over.
Bob-omb - Explodes after a short time when thrown or dropped, knocking over any kart in its blast radius.
Blooper - Sprays ink on all racers ahead and reduces their visibility. The racers hit also lose some of their traction while sprayed.
Bullet Billˣ - Transforms the player into a Bullet Bill, rocketing through the track with auto-pilot, and providing invincibility from all terrain and items.
Spiny Shellˣ - Targets the racer in first place, knocking over all other karts in its path.
Super Horn - Emits a radial shockwave hitting racers, as well as destroying all obstacles, including the Spiny Shell.
~ Special Items
Fireball (Red) - Three fireballs will revolve around your kart. They split up after they're thrown and go sliding ahead. These powerful pyrotechnics can take out multiple opponents at once. Drivers: Mario, Fire Mario
Fireball (Green) - Three fireballs will revolve around your kart. They split up after they're thrown and go sliding ahead. These powerful pyrotechnics can take out multiple opponents at once. Drivers: Luigi, Fire Luigi
Fire Flower - Allows the player to throw fireballs for a short time that cause other karts to spin out on impact. Drivers: Metal Mario, Fire Peach, Fire Bro
Ice Flower - Three balls of ice will revolve around your kart. Throw them all at once and they'll freeze any kart they hit, causing them to slide. Drivers: Ice Bro, Ice Mario, Penguin Luigi
Heart - This protective Heart revolves around your kart for a set amount of time, shielding you from attacks. Any item that hits the player becomes theirs to use. A cute and handy item. Drivers: Peach, Daisy, Villager, Wendy, Mametchi
Yoshi's Egg - This egg rolls down the road and home in on opponents. When they hit and break, they'll drop three more items. Drivers: Yoshi
Birdo's Egg - Homes in on the kart in front of you and crashes once it hits. Three more items will fly out when it breaks. Drivers: Birdo
Chain Chomp - This fearsome beast chases karts with reckless abandon, pulling the player behind it at breakneck speeds. Drivers: Baby Mario, Baby Luigi
Triple Mushrooms - Orbits the player's kart, providing them with three separate speed boosts. Drivers: Toad, Toadette
Golden Mushroom - Provides the player's kart with continuous speed boosts for a short time. Drivers: Captain Toad
Mega Mushroom - The driver grows bigger, which allows them to squash other racers by running over them, making them lose their items and slow down for a moment. Drivers: Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Wiggler
Poison Mushroom - A stationary item. Looks like a regular mushroom but If one is run into, the victim shrinks, as if hit by a Lightning. Shrunken racers who run into it revert to normal size. Drivers: Kamek * ngl, i didn't really know who to give this item to
Mushroom Cannon - A cannon designed to resemble a Mushroom. Continually shoots out Mushrooms in front of your kart for a set time. Drivers: Monty Mole, Peachette, Toadsworth
Triple Green Shells - Three green shells that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Koopa Troopa, Dry Bones, Lakitu, Koopa (Freerunning)
Triple Red Shells - Three red shells that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Paratroopa, Dry Bones, Lakitu, Koopa (Freerunning)
Bowser's Shell - An awe-inspiring giant shell! As it careens down the road, slamming and ramming into karts, it's the very image of Bowser himself. Drivers: Bowser, Bowser Jr., Dry Bowser
Triple Bananas - Three bananas that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Donkey Kong Jr., Dixie Kong
Giant Banana - Not only does this big banana spin out karts that hit it, but after being struck it breaks into three regular-sized Bananas. Drivers: Donkey Kong
Banana Barrels - Arm your kart with two fully-loaded barrels of Bananas! Continually shoots out Bananas in front of or behind your kart for a set time. Drivers: Diddy Kong, Funky Kong
Thunder Cloud - A thundercloud hovers over the recipient and strikes it with lightning after 10 seconds. The user shrinks to a very small size for 10 seconds, driving more slowly. Before this happens, the user has higher speed and acceleration while not losing speed when driving off-road, and may pass the cloud to an opponent by bumping into them. Drivers: Blinky, Pinky, Inky, Clyde * If there was absolutely no choice but to have the next Meta character, it'd be the Ghosts. Having one of the worst possible specials in the game should balance them out.
POW Block - The POW Block appears above the karts as a 2D image, warning players of its arrival, and causes any racer on the ground ahead of the user to spin out and drop their items. * Since wheelies are no longer a thing, it always spins out other racers unless they're in anti-gravity mode or during an in air trick Drivers: Mii, Don-chan
Super Leaf- Gives the player's kart a tail that can be used to deflect items, knock over opponents and collect coins. The tail will disappear after a moment or if the player is hurt. Drivers: Tanooki Mario
Lucky Seven - Surrounds the player with seven items that rotates around its kart. The player receives a Mushroom, Banana, Green Shell, Red Shell, Blooper, Bob-omb, and a Star. Drivers: King Boo, Pauline, Poochy, Nabbit, Chargin' Chuck, Pianta, Noki
Boomerang Flower - Can be thrown up to three times, hitting racers forward/backward and when it returns to its user after the first and second use. Driver: Boomerang Bro, Larry
Piranha Plant - Automatically chomps on obstacles and other racers, giving a short speed boost for each bite. Drivers: Petey Piranha
Double Bob-ombs - Two Bob-ombs will revolve around your kart. Throw them both at once. Drivers: Wario, Waluigi, Roy
Bob-omb Cannon - Continually shoots out Bob-ombs in front of your kart for a set time. Drivers: Shy Guy
Giga Bob-omb - After being thrown, it will explode after hitting a kart or bouncing 3 times. It has a larger blast radius than a standard Bob-omb. Drivers: King Bob-omb
Bubble - Briefly envelops your kart and protects you from damage for a set time. While in the bubble, you will get a speed boost and float in the air. Drivers: Baby Peach, Baby Daisy, Baby Rosalina, Lemmy
Dash Ring - Tosses out three rings in front of you along the track. Pass through them for a speed boost! Drivers: Rosalina, Luma, Ludwig, Honey Queen
Hammer - Throws multiple Hammers in an arc aimed at karts in front of yours. Drivers: Hammer Bro
Super Bell - A bell rings above the driver, knocking away nearby karts and items. The bell rings three consecutive times. Drivers: Cat Peach, Cat Toad
Capsule - Three colorful capsules surround your kart. They'll bounce at opponents when thrown. Drivers: Dr. Mario
Splat Bomb ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * Explodes after a short time when thrown or dropped, knocking and spraying ink on any kart in its blast radius and reduces their visibility. The racers hit also lose some of their traction while sprayed. Drivers: Inkling Girl, Inkling Boy
Magical Boomerang ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * Works like a Boomerang Flower that tracks closes kart infront of player like a Red Shell Drivers: Link
Magnet ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * a powerful magnet that pulls opponents towards the player Source Drivers: Krunch
Nayru's Love ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * will surround the racer's kart with a protective shield. Any items that hit this shield will be reflected back at the racer who used them. If a driver using Nayru's Love is attacked with an item such as a Lightning, the racer who used the Lightning item will take damage. Drivers: Zelda
Copy Ability ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * steals Special item from any racer. If no racer has a special item on them, it'll randomly generate a random racer's Special Item. Drivers: Kirby
Dedede's Hammer ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * driver using Dedede's Hammer, will swing it around for about 5 seconds. Any karts hit will be squashed, causing them to lose their item and speed momentarily. Drivers: King Dedede
Invincibility Shield ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * become invulnerable to all damage for a short time. Drivers: Sonic, Tails
Bombs ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * Think Double Bob-ombs, the original Triple Bananas and the Feather item. If used as a protective item, upon the explosion, the player will leap in the air, providing a small speed boost upon landing. Drivers: Samus
Geno Flash ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * works like a Lightning but doesn't strink opponents. Drivers: Geno

• - R.O.B. and Professor E. Gadd have the ability to obtain any special item, excluding Fireball (Green), Birdo's Egg, Lucky Seven, Nayru's Love ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾, Copy Ability ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾, and Geno Flash ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾

~ 5. Courses ~
~ Cups
161 Total Courses
Nitro Grand Prix Mushroom Cup》 Flower Cup》 Star Cup》 Special Cup 🔒
Retro Grand Prix 🔒 Mushroom 🍄 Courses : Shell Cup》Golden Dash Cup》Red Coin Cup》Blue Coin Cup》Banana Cup》Lucky Cat Cup》1-Up Cup》Gold Cup》
Flower 🌷 Courses: Leaf Cup》Turnip Cup》Freezie Cup》Metal Cup》 Lightning Cup》Rock Cup》POW Cup》Heart Cup》
Star ⭐️ Courses: Sun Cup》Moon Cup》Red Shell Cup》Thunder Cloud Cup》Wing Cup》Boomerang Cup》Coin Block Cup》Warp Cup》
Special 👑 Courses: Vanish Cup》Cherry Cup》Mega Cup》Tanooki Cup》? Block Cup》Spiny Cup》Shine Cup》Grand Cup》
World Grand Prix🔒 Lightning⚡️Courses: Egg Cup》Triforce Cup》Crossing Cup》Bell Cup》Propeller Cup》Fruit Cup》Feather Cup》Acorn Cup》Super Cup》World Cup》
Extra Grand Prix 🔒* Excellent idea to introduce courses from the Mario Kart GP series as well as new courses for DLC content
~ New Courses
Nitro Grand Prix: Mushroom Cup 🍄 1. New Mario Circuit 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Flower Cup 🌷 1. beach- or water-themed course 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Star Cup ⭐️ 1. ice- or snow-themed course 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Special Cup 👑 1. TBD 2. TBD 3. New Bowser's Castle 4. New Rainbow Road
~ Retro Courses
Mushroom 🍄 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Shell Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mario Kart Stadium 2. ᵈˢ Yoshi Falls 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Baby Park 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 1
Retro Grand Prix: Golden Dash Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Luigi Circuit 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Shy Guy Beach 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Sweet Sweet Canyon 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Dry Dry Desert
Retro Grand Prix: Red Coin Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Toad Circuit 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Moo Moo Farm 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Riverside Park 4. ʷⁱⁱ Toad's Factory
Retro Grand Prix: Blue Coin Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Luigi Raceway 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 1 3. ᵈˢ Cheep Cheep Beach 4. ³ᵈˢ Shy Guy Bazaar
Retro Grand Prix: Banana Cup 1. ᵈˢ Figure-8 Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ Moo Moo Meadows 3. ³ᵈˢ Cheep Cheep Lagoon 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Kalimari Desert
Retro Grand Prix: Lucky Cat Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 1 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Peach Beach 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Koopa Troopa Beach 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Thwomp Ruins
Retro Grand Prix: 1-Up Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Luigi Circuit 2. ³ᵈˢ Daisy Hills 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 1 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 1
Retro Grand Prix: Gold Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Peach Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Water Park 3. ʷⁱⁱ Mushroom Gorge 4. ᵈˢ Luigi's Mansion
Flower 🌷 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Leaf Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Mushroom Bridge 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Boo Lake 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Twisted Mansion 4. ³ᵈˢ Rock Rock Mountain
Retro Grand Prix: Turnip Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Mario Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Toad Harbor 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Choco Mountain 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 2
Retro Grand Prix: Freezie Cup 1. ᵈˢ Desert Hills 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Mario Circuit 3. ʷⁱⁱ DK Summit 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 2
Retro Grand Prix: Metal Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Mario Circuit 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Frappe Snowland 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Daisy Cruiser 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Shy Guy Falls
Retro Grand Prix: Lightning Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mario Circuit 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 2 3. ᵈˢ Waluigi Pinball 4. ʷⁱⁱ Wario's Gold Mine
Retro Grand Prix: Rock Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Choco Island 1 2. ᵈˢ Delfino Square 3. ³ᵈˢ Music Park 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Mario Raceway
Retro Grand Prix: POW Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Loop 2. ʷⁱⁱ Coconut Mall 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Cheese Land 4. ᵈˢ Shroom Ridge
Retro Grand Prix: Heart Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Toad's Turnpike 2. ³ᵈˢ Mario Circuit 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 2 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Waluigi Stadium
Star ⭐️ Courses Retro Grand Prix: Sun Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Snow Land 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Choco Island 2 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Yoshi Circuit 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Bowser's Castle
Retro Grand Prix: Moon Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Wario Stadium 2. ʷⁱⁱ Koopa Cape 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Yoshi Desert 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mount Wario
Retro Grand Prix: Red Shell Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Daisy Circuit 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Ribbon Road 3. ᵈˢ Mario Circuit 4. ᵍᶜⁿ DK Mountain
Retro Grand Prix: Thunder Cloud Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Sunshine Airport 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Sherbet Land 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Vanilla Lake 1 4. ³ᵈˢ Maka Wuhu
Retro Grand Prix: Wing Cup 1. ᵈˢ DK Pass 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Dolphin Shoals 3. ³ᵈˢ Neo Bowser City 4. ʷⁱⁱ Grumble Volcano
Retro Grand Prix: Boomerang Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Sherbet Land 2. ³ᵈˢ Wario Shipyard 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Royal Raceway 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 3
Retro Grand Prix: Coin Block Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Koopa Beach 1 2. ᵈˢ Tick-Tock Clock 3. ʷⁱⁱ Maple Treeway 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 3
Retro Grand Prix: Warp Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Piranha Plant Slide 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Mushroom City 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Electrodrome 4. ᵈˢ Airship Fortress
Special 👑 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Vanish Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 3 2. ʷⁱⁱ Moonview Highway 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 4 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Cherry Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ DK Jungle 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Broken Pier 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 3 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Mega Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Dry Dry Ruins 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Bone-Dry Dunes 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Banshee Boardwalk 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Vanilla Lake 2
Retro Grand Prix: Tanooki Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Wario Colosseum 2. ³ᵈˢ Rosalina's Ice World 3. ʷⁱⁱ Bowser's Castle 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: ? Block Cup 1. ᵈˢ Wario Stadium 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Koopa Beach 2 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Bowser's Castle 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Spiny Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Lakeside Park 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Dino Dino Jungle 3. ᵈˢ Bowser Castle 4. ʷⁱⁱ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Shine Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Cloudtop Cruise 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Yoshi Valley 3. ³ᵈˢ Bowser's Castle 4. ᵈˢ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Grand Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ D.K.'s Jungle Parkway 2. ᵈˢ Peach Gardens 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Bowser's Castle 4. ³ᵈˢ Rainbow Road
Lightning⚡️Courses 🔒 World Grand Prix: Egg Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Rainbow Road 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Berlin Byways 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Wild Woods 4. ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Yoshi's Island
World Grand Prix: Triforce Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 4 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Los Angeles Laps 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Piranha Plant Cove 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Hyrule Circuit
World Grand Prix: Crossing Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Luigi Circuit 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Sydney Sprint 3. TBA 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Animal Crossing
World Grand Prix: Bell Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Sky Garden 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Singapore Speedway 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Super Bell Subway 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Propeller Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 3 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Vancouver Velocity 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Ice Ice Outpost 4. ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Sky-High Sundae
World Grand Prix: Fruit Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Sunset Wilds 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ New York Minute 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Bangkok Rush 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Feather Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 2 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ London Loop 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Ninja Hideaway 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mute City
World Grand Prix: Acorn Cup 1. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Paris Promenade 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Merry Mountain 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Dragon Driftway 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Super Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Cheep-Cheep Island 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Amsterdam Drift 3. TBA 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Big Blue
World Grand Prix: World Cup 1. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Tokyo Blur 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Excitebike Arena 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Athens Dash 4. TBA
~ Extra/DLC Courses
Extra Grand Prix: Mario Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Mario Highway 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Mario Beach
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Mario Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Splash Circuit 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Tropical Coast
Extra Grand Prix: DK Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ DK Jungle 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Bananan Ruins
Extra Grand Prix: Extra DK Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bananan Labyrinth 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ DK Jungle
Extra Grand Prix: Wario Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Diamond City 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Snow Panic
Extra Grand Prix: Waluigi Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ² Stadium Arena 2. ᵃᵍᵖ² Waluigi Stadium
Extra Grand Prix: Pac-Man Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Pac Mountain 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Pac Labyrinth
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Pac-Man Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ PAC-MAN Stadium 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ NAMCO Circuit
Extra Grand Prix: Bowser Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Bowser's Castle 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Castle Wall
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Bowser Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bowser's Factory 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bowser's Castle
Extra Grand Prix: Rainbow Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Rainbow Coaster 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Rainbow Downhill
Extra Grand Prix: Yoshi Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ² Yoshi Park 1 2. ᵃᵍᵖ² Yoshi Park 2
Extra Grand Prix: Toad Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Peach Castle 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Kingdom Way
Extra Grand Prix: Don-chan Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bon Dance Street 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Omatsuri Circuit
Extra Grand Prix: Bowser Jr. Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Aerial Road 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Sky Arena
Extra Grand Prix: Inklings Cup 1. Splatoon themed course * Splat Circuit 2. Splatoon themed course
Extra Grand Prix: Sonic ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Sonic themed course * Twinkle Circuit Source at 1:00 2. Sonic themed course * Green Hill Zone related course
Extra Grand Prix: King K. Rool ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. King K. Rool/Donkey Kong Country related themed course 2. Diddy Kong Racing related themed course * Jungle Falls or Darkmoon Caverns Source 1 Source 2
Extra Grand Prix: Zelda ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Zelda themed course * Lost Woods 2. Zelda themed course
Extra Grand Prix: Kirby ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Kirby themed course * Fantasy Meadows (from Kirby Air Ride) Source 2. Kirby themed course * Meta Knight's Halberd or The Great Cave Offensive
Extra Grand Prix: Samus ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Metroid themed course 2. Metroid themed course
~ 6. Battle ~
In all games, the engine class of Battle Mode is fixed to 50cc. An exception is the Renegade Roundup mode where it is increased to 100cc.
~ Battle Modes
Balloon Battle》Team Balloon Battle》 Classic Balloon Battle》Team Classic Balloon Battle - Mini Bomb Karts return. Shine Thief》Team Shine Thief》 Bob-omb Blast》Team Bob-omb Blast Shine Runners Coin Runners (Coin Battle)》Team Coin Runners》 Renegade Roundup
Thunder Cloud Tag ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾* - Similar to Shine Thief but reverse. Think of it as Tag. A random player has a Thunder Cloud and must tag others to lose it from above their head. If the player holds the Thunder Cloud when the timer reaches zero, this process repeats until one player remains.
~ Courses
ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 1 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 2 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 3 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 4 ⁿ⁶⁴ Big Donut ⁿ⁶⁴ Block Fort ⁿ⁶⁴ Double Deck ⁿ⁶⁴ Skyscraper ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 1 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 2 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 3 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 4 ᵍᶜⁿ Cookie Land ᵍᶜⁿ Block City ᵍᶜⁿ Luigi's Mansion ᵍᶜⁿ Nintendo GameCube ᵍᶜⁿ Pipe Plaza ᵍᶜⁿ Tilt-a-Kart ᵈˢ Nintendo DS ᵈˢ Twilight House ᵈˢ Palm Shore ᵈˢ Tart Top ᵈˢ Block Fort ᵈˢ Pipe Plaza ʷⁱⁱ Block Plaza ʷⁱⁱ Delfino Pier ʷⁱⁱ Funky Stadium ʷⁱⁱ Chain Chomp Wheel ʷⁱⁱ Thwomp Desert ³ᵈˢ Honeybee Hive (Honeybee House) ³ᵈˢ Sherbet Rink ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Town ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Battle Stadium ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Sweet Sweet Kingdom ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Dragon Palace ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Lunar Colony ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Urchin Underpass ᵗᵒᵘʳ New York Minute B ᵗᵒᵘʳ Paris Promenade B Icicle Pyramid or Smokey Castle ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source 1 Source 2

I just want to start this off by saying my boyfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me, he’s my best friend. In no way did I ever regret meeting him and I’m DEFINITELY NOT mad at him for reading it, I'm more embarrassed.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 months, yesterday was our anniversary. This is also my very first relationship. I grew up in a very sheltered home environment and it led me to being a very shy and not so much of an outgoing person. When me and him meet in class, he immediately caught my eye. We would talk here and then constantly after I kinda broke my shell. We started dating and I was taken back because I would question myself EVERYDAY “why would he want to date me?” “does he even like me?” “what good am I doing him?” (you get the gist). I never told him about my thoughts because its really hard for me to express my feelings/thoughts.
So, I started writing it down in my journal. I mostly talked about how I felt unworthy of a guy like him, he’s VERY attractive and he doesn’t know it, he can literally pull ANY girl but he choose me. I questioned it everyday for the past 9 months. I know he loves me and I also love him with everything in me.
Yesterday (our anniversary), before he read it I wrote and reflected on our relationship, I wrote nothing bad honestly. I wrote everything I cherished about him and everything I love about him. After writing, I stupidly forgot to put it back where I usually keep it which is behind my dresser. This time I just left it on my bed. We had already had plans to celebrate at my house first and then we would go to the movies.
I was so busy looking for a good outfit to wear when he got here, while doing that I made a huge mess. He came over and came straight to my room, we kissed and hugged and he gave me my gift. He said my room looked like a tornado ran through it and he knows me so well and asked me if I was rummaging through my closet to find a cute outfit for him. I just smiled because I love how much he knows me. I told I was going to go get his gift from my moms rooms. (I had her gift wrap it for me lol) Anyway, as I came back into the room I could tell he was helping me out by hanging up some of my stuff but then, I saw him looking in my journal.
Like I said before, in NO way am I mad at him for looking in it. Mostly because I would’ve too. He looked at me with the most defeated face and I just froze. He asked me how long I’ve felt like this and I just couldn’t say anything. I hated how it must’ve made him feel. I locked myself in the bathroom and I started crying so bad that my chest started to hurt. I couldn’t believe what was happening. He came to the door and told me that he didn’t hate me, he’s just confused as to why I felt like that all this time. I unlocked the door and I told him I was sorry and that I love him. He told me he loves me too and I am good enough for him, if not perfect. I kinda just went silent the whole day because its so freaking embarrassing, but we did end up going to movies.
That was also awkward but he definitely made it better by telling me it’s okay and he’s not mad at me at all. Before parting ways, he told me that it doesn’t change anything between us and he wants to talk about it soon. He hugged me and we said bye to each other. What’s really killing me is that now this is gonna be something I have to live with. My favorite person in the world knows my thoughts about him in the worst way possible.
I'm scared of talking to him about it. If you guys made it this far, I'd appreciate some tips on going on about this.
edit: i fixed the spacing, i typed this on my phone horribly lmao

So. I’ll start from the very start. 2 years ago, I (25M) was at the gym working out where I find this cute pretty girl I barely knew from before. She was kind of a friend made through another friend. We were never too close. But we vibed a lot together. We were like-minded personalities. So when we met this time. We made sure to hit it off. We turned into full time best friends at this time. Did everything together. It started with gym. Then stretched on to me driving her home. We standing outside her home talking for hours. Mind me, even the cold harsh weather didn’t stopped us to be with one another. Then one day, she finally asked me to come upstairs with her. She lived with a couple of friends. I was a little weirded out (me being an introvert) didn’t liked much people around. But i still managed to do that as i wanted to be with this girl. It was pretty smooth. I was working nights at the time. I used to join them for dinner, leave for work, come back early in the morning, find this cute friend of mine sleeping, go to gym. We were enjoying our life. We used to flirt a lot over texts. But it was just texts. We never behaved that way in person. One day, I was at work and we were texting like usual. I mentioned to her that I wanted to kiss her. Surprise to me, she wanted the same. Unfortunately, we were not able to see each other for a couple of days due to being occupied elsewhere, it was my sister’s wedding soon and I had to take care of some arrangements. The very next weekend, I was just relaxing at home, when I saw her ping. She wanted to see me. I asked her to come over to my place this time. She was at work and said it was her last hour and it would take her another hour to reach my place. So, it was decided. She went off to do her work and I have no idea what struck my mind. I started to cook for her. Full professional chef style. I wanted to do this for my friend. 15 minutes before her arrival. I had prepared a four course meal and I was waiting for her now. Moments later, I got a text from her that her bus broke down and she will be taking a cab. So she would be here in no time soon. I quickly went to shower, got changed. She came in. She was really surprised as she didn’t knew that i can cook. At her place, she was the one who always cooked. She loves to cook but I can do it too. Back to my story, she was surprised. She told me that I was the first person ever other than her mom who has ever cooked for her. Her eyes got watery and she leaned in to hug me tight. I consoled her. Provided her with a tissue. She wanted to use the restroom. While she was away, I served the dinner. She was back with a smile on her face. We sat. Had dinner. Talked a lot about what happened over the past few days. It was amazing. After the dinner, we decided that we need some dessert. There was this place near my place that I knew she’d love. We went there walking. On our way back, she was getting cold. Me (A gentleman) took no time to take off my jacket and put it on her shoulders. She looked at me and asked why was i so nice to her. I just had a smile on my face. I couldn’t take my gaze off her. She looked perfect. In this moment, I forgot she was talking to me and just kept seeing her perfect eyes. She shook me a little. As I regained my consciousness, I see her laughing. I was so confused as all I saw were those perfect pearls that were her eyes. She got quite and kissed my lips. I felt the rush of hormones hitting my body and it was perfect. We somehow managed to get back home, it had started to rain by this time. We got back into the house. She took me by my hand to my bedroom and pulled me on top of her. We kissed sensually for atleast 20 minutes. It was a perfect date. It was almost 11 in the night. She wanted some things from her place and asked if I could drive her to home. I agreed. We went up there. We started making out in the staircase of her condo. We were there for another 10 minutes. Somehow managed to get to her place. We forgot what we were there for and just wanted to feel each other. So after making out for another 10 minutes, it was clear in our eyes that we wanted to have sex. I touched her breasts. So firm and beautiful. She was kissing my neck. At this point, we heard a loud bang on the door. It was so loud that we had to stop to find out what was happening.

So, my sub [F/21] and I [M/28] met through kink context, and just clicked romantically, and ended up dating shortly after. And, while I have some experience in romance, sex and kink, she is relatively new, being inexperienced and even at times ignorant. There has been multiple (2, but still that's technically multiple) instances where she has asked a guy, who has their hands on her bare tits, whether or not they were flirting with her. That innocence is absolutely adorable, but it does have some downsides.
Our dynamic is "poly-ish", where the understanding is we are each other's number 1 priority, and while experiencing and adventuring with others is acceptable, we have to make sure we keep the other party informed and consenting of what we're doing. Additionally, we look outwards specifically for experiences our partner can't offer. For example, she's a switch, and I'm not interested in pegging / CBT, so I'm actively wingmanning her to find a cute lil boy toy to try domming, and while I aim to practice my skills on her as frequently as her schedule and body allows, I have enthusiastic consent to practice on others to give her a break. I do have a trauma-based need for control due to some shit in my early life, but [rule 2]. But yes, I'm a bit of a control freak sadly, and while I'm sure my therapist and I are only a few years from fixing that, it is what it is for now.
So, I took a group of friends (my girlfriend, 2 other women, and myself) to experience their first sex club, playing watchover supervisor and helping keep everyone safe as well as wingmanning. Before going inside, my partner made a comment to me, "I'm feeling very anxious right now, please don't touch me inappropriately until I'm comfortable, okay?" - a 100% understandable request which I'm more than happy to oblige to.
We all head into the spa for a good hour and relax it up, meeting and chatting with a few people. Everyone is kind and welcoming, and it's a bit empowering having three ladies follow me around a sex club all night, even if I am pretty platonic with two of them. The looks were pretty fun.
Anyway, we're chatting in a group with some other guys making fun of some bad porn playing on the big screens (as you do), and I tried to gage my partner's comfort level for things happening, when really I just wanted to put my arms around her as I'm feeling a little insecure having guys flirt so directly with my partner, and her not recognising it and giving positive feedback to them. A hand gently around the hip is swatted away, a request for a kiss is denied, indirect and direct offers to find a private spot are declined, and I come to the conclusion that she's in a no-touch headspace, and can totally respect. So, I stop making offers.
One of the guys we were hanging out with was an off-hours staff member, young and relatively fit. He seems nice enough, and has a really attractive build, smooth skin, and great fashion sense. Before we head to the dress-down adult zone, she pulls me aside and asks "Hey, he has a really nice looking chest, and I just want to touch him. Is that weird? is that okay?" An experience I can't directly offer. I respond "Sure, ask him how he feels, just keep it above the waist, cool?" and she nods affirmatively.
Our entire troop is looking around and doing a tour, and the three of us end up alone in one of the rooms just looking around. She asks "uhh... help? can you ask please?" - she's clearly still having anxiety moments, but I can tell she's still excited, so I gotta wingman my girl. I turn to our tour guide and give him the situation, "Basically, you're pretty hot, and my girlfriend here wants to touch your chest and stuff because you're well built and have super smooth skin. How do you feel about that?" he gave some enthusiastic consent, and while I was hesitant to leave the two of them alone, I know my partner struggles in public situations, so the best thing I can do is give them a minute alone.
I go hang out with the others in our troop and we wander around in the dark, there's some dude being an inappropriate skeezeball so we have to deal with them at the same time, and as I walk past the locked room, I can clearly tell that things had now escalated beyond the original scope of what was initially propositioned. I don't interrupt them immediately however, as I clearly could hear that my partner was the one initiating further actions and physicality.
Eventually, dealing with the mounting stress of feeling out of control, as well as the need to report some predatory behavior to the event staff, I make the firm suggestion that she joins us at the bar, which after some time getting dressed again, happens, and we focus on reporting the aforementioned skeeze. I was hurt, but I was also proud of my partner for going outside of their comfort zone. Going to give them an intimate hug was met with discomfort though, which unfortunately got to me.
Our troop is heading to a McDonald's to decompress with a shake while we start sharing stories, and my partner is pressured into revealing what went down behind closed doors. Now, it was all relatively low-level stuff, she touched him, she asked to be touched back, she took off her clothes, she offered to kiss him, and my insecurities are ruining what should be a beautiful moment of my partner finding body confidence and exploring in a safe environment.
After a night of not having any of my affections, playful offers, serious offers or all non-strictly verbal acts of love shot down hours straight, a dude we just met not only got more than I did, but my blessings and consent were ignored and I felt entirely used, betrayed and disrespected from the culmination of everything.
Now, I don't necessarily blame my partner for this, and their assumption that my "anything above the belt" blessing was a lot more liberal than her touching him, just as my assumption that she knew what she wanted as she was asking for it may have also been potentially misplaced. And while I concede that she did not act with any intentions of mallice or disrespect, I still feel as if all of the effort I've laid out to try and be as clear as possible with how I can be comfortable with her enjoying experiences with others was essentially wasted by moments of negligence and absent-mindedness while focusing on the anxiety inducing flesh in front of her. Also, I straight up don't blame the guy at all, he was respectful and appropriate.
Our current plans involve working on our communication, and developing short-hands so we can communicate quickly and effectively exactly what we are comfortable with and what our intentions are, as well as chalking this up to a painful learning experience and having more fleshed-out hypothetical situations to use as references. Communication and reassurance is our main direction.
Any experts here want to throw in their two cents as to how we can avoid situations like this in the future, I'm welcome to hear good ideas. My friends haven't been great so far, with suggestions ranging from "just let her peg you bro and you're good", to "if you weren't such a pussy, some dude touching your girlfriend's tits wouldn't be a big deal", to the best worst take so far, "you're not poly, you just wanna cheat on her without letting her cheat on you." So... we have a pretty poor baseline for opinions and advice, hopefully y'all have some interesting insights. <3
Appreciations

Hello Cutie pies! I finally sat down to open all my lovely mail. I wanted to give enough time for the mail to arrive, so I could do a one big post ❤️ I dated the mail, so here is how it goes ❤️
4/21:
u/SNERDBOFF - What a lovely card! I am glad I was the lucky one you used this card for ❤️ the unpacking is not even done yet lmao. You know how that goes ❤️ thanks for writing to me <3.
u/melhen16 - thanks for the doggo card ❤️ there are still a couple things we have not found, but we are all here and that is all that matters ❤️ we are settling nicely tho. Thanks for thinking of us .
4/24
u/stephkempf - thanks for the lovely "HOME" postcard and for warming up my new mailbox and home once again ❤️ much love . u/BATTLE_METAL - hai! thanks so much for the lovely card. I enjoyed the birds on it, lately I have been bird watching in my backyard and this card just reminded me of mah birds. Thanks for thinking of me.
u/truthfulsnack - I loved the story behind your username! Thanks for the housewarming thoughts and for the lovely postcard.
u/ghostchild25 - Thanks so much for the postcard and the Hufflepuff sticker 😄 I loved it very much (tho I am a Ravenclaw...Husband says I would be a better fit as a Hufflepuff...who knows). Sending hugs!
4/25
u/thecaledonianrose - Hi sweetie ❤️ what a beautiful card you sent! Those butterflies sure made me happy. Thanks so much for the wonderful wishes, and for warming up my new mailbox. My mail person isn't that friendly, he also doesn't like dogs, so I am guessing I am not going to get that friendly with him, his loss though. Thanks for the cup'otea - I love spearmint
u/sable__ - Thanks so so much for the Mickey Mouse Postcard my backyard is much more inviting now, I have two very comfy chairs, my plants and a small table to have coffee in the mornings. I also got a Hammock to enjoy the weather. Thanks again!
u/littlemermaidxx - Thanks for the Postcard lil one ❤️ My new place and neighborhood are sure treating us pretty well. I love the community we have moved to, they are very welcoming and friendly. Sending hugs!
u/aepeyc - hi there! I loved the houses on the card you sent 😄 very cute painting. I hate seeing boxes when I move as well, but it doesn't all depend on me this time, so I have had to be a little more patient than usual. The place is looking better though, and I am starting to get used to it. Thanks for writing to me ❤️
u/PinkPengin - You are always making my days better. Just reading about you, or knowing you thought about me when you saw something close to a camper, makes me so so happy! Love you friend!!
u/Jdoodle7 - Dear sweet Jdoodle7 Ill be writing back because I would love to share w you about my animals and much more than that. Thanks for the lovely card. Thankfully, I am blessed to be a Stay At Home Wife 😄 so I take care of our home, and our animals. I will tell you all about them in my next correspondence ❤️ Thanks for warming up my mailbox ❤️
4/26
u/TigerLady13 - Hey sweeheart! Thanks for the lovely recipe 😄 wow so awesome of you to send me a recipe, I love cooking! My neighborhood is pretty awesome. People know me as the girl with the 2 big dogs haha, I walk them daily and most of my neighbors have smaller pets, so they know who I am 😄 sending hugs!
u/allthe_angels x2 - Hi lovely one! You made me 2 cards, I love homemade cards, nothing wrong with store bought, but I treasure homemade ones because I also make cards and I know they take time to make. I loved learning about your landlord, and the 20 labs. I have a lab myself, I cant imagine 20 babies all running around!! That is much like heaven! I Also saw the playlist card, Ill be sure to check out the songs pretty soon. Thanks for writing to me, I am always home and most of the time by myself, and reading you made my day ❤️
u/iheartcitrus - Thanks so much for your postcard! How was your move? Are you all done and unpacked? I hope it went smoother than my move. You never know how much stuff you have until you have to load it in a truck and it fills up faster than expect, lmao. Sending hugs!
u/FollowingTheBeat - Hi there! I loved the card you picked to send me, those flowers are very very pretty! You are right, I have set new habits in my new place. I cook much more than before, and I like coming down to the basement where all my crafts are 😄 organizing has made this area pretty neat, thanks so much for the stickers too!
4/28
u/MumbaGoesPainting - MUMBAAAA ❤️ hi lovely Mumba ❤️ I loved the card you made for me 😄 you painted a lovely penguin. Your mail always makes me happy. I hope you know you are not forgotten ❤️ Ill try to send something back very soon ❤️ thanks for brightening my mailbox
4/29
u/RosesareBLUEtoo - Thanks so much for your card 😄 I have moved at least 15 times that I can remember, I do not like feeling like I never settle, I am sure this isnt my last time moving, but I hope soon we can really set roots somewhere. Thanks for the wishes ❤️
u/lunarknight22 - Once again welcome to the sub ❤️ thanks for thinking of me and sending that lovely card. The gold accents on the birds are stunning. Thanks again!
u/primaryloon - Thanks for the lovely postcard! The first few days were totally rough, I do not do well with change in my life, so it was a little meh. However, like you said, the first pieces of mail help to make it feel like home. I am still organizing things, but it feels much better now. Thanks again 😄
5/1
u/birdiebennett x2 - Hey there lovely human ❤️ thanks for the card and the extra blank postcard ❤️ I love getting items to send to others ❤️ I am too a homebody, but I do enjoy being outside with a cup of coffee and my doggos, I have settled in well (or so i think), but still getting used to stuff. Thanks again for the lovely mail.
u/chibi_haiku - I love love love your handwriting !! its lovely, neat, and small!! Thanks for the lovely ice cream postcard 😄 its been not too hot, so I am happy to keep it cool for longer 😄 my backyard is looking cozier nowadays, so Ill enjoy it for you ❤️
u/unseenbowl - OH MY GOD..... I FREAKING LOOOOOOOOVEEEEEE THIS CARD! Thanks so much for picking such a lovely card for me! I do enjoy my backyard, lately I have been trying to grow some seeds, but I am known to kill plants 😦 so far my 2 little peppers I had at my previous place made it, they suffered but they are recovering nicely one is almost like ghost pepper and the other one is NuMex Suave Orange 😄 they are starting to show little flowers, so I am excited for that. Thanks again!
5/3
u/56Thorns - hey sweetie! Thanks so much for the card 😄 it is super cool! Are you coming for the pizza party? The koala you sent seems to be ready for it! Thanks for the wonderful wishes ❤️
u/KimKimMRW - I LOVED THE POSTCARD! I agree, it may feel a little creepy, but I loved it 😄 thanks for the wishes and love sent my way ❤️
u/VivereMomento - Thanks so so so much for the lovely letter, it was awesome to read about your goth wall of curiosities. I love goth architecture, so yay! 😄 Also, I am so happy you feel like you can do that now on your own place 🙂 . Your room sounds amazing to be honest, we have pitch back curtains, bedding and the furniture, but the walls are still white. Ill take my time to figure that out, this is an older home, so Ill see what needs to be done first. Thanks for the lovely advice, there are a bunch of Facebook Groups for the community where we give away things, and check for events. I am not sure of being part of the board or neighbors thingy. I don't even know if there's one to be honest, is a neighborhood mostly directed to live harmoniously and happily. Anywho, I loved your letter ❤️ thanks again!
5/5
u/BlacksmithEquivalent - I love seeing mail from you! I loved all the wishes and message you sent in that lovely card 😄 I must agree, it feels nice to just go and come as you please and have a space that's your own ❤️ thanks again for sending love my way!
u/omggallout - I loved that you shared with me TV shows that are fun and entertaining. I wish I could do extreme couponing like the show, but it is so hard to find coupons for me, and this area is even harder (more money wise/another income type bracket from where I lived before). I agree with you, If I ever did that, I wouldn't just keep it for myself, I would share and donate, and keep one or two things as back ups. Thanks for writing to me ❤️ I don't mind AT ALL about what you talked about, it gets pretty lonely here, so I enjoyed reading you ❤️
5/8
u/shipping_addict - Hi there! Thanks for your postcard 😄 I will be sure to look up the plant 😄 it seems like they last. Are they strong/resistant? I tend to kill plants, LMAO. Take care
u/Monetmonkey - Hi lovely one ❤️ I did find all my supplies finally! And i finally had a chance to sit down and read all the lovely mail and respond properly 😄 so here I am 😄 thanks for the stickers and washi tape 😄 I loved it all, and thanks so much for thinking of me and sending me sweet wishes and a beautiful card ❤️
5/15
u/CanaMeow x3 - Dear Lovely Cana, I have always been grateful for you ❤️ you always come to my rescue when I do not post the right thing/username. I enjoyed your mail so so much! Thanks for sharing with me your recent trip, the things you loved doing, and things you ate ❤️ I loved reading everything about you, I hope you know I enjoyed every bit of it. Your postcards are so lovely! I am definitely a cat person 😄 teehee 😄 so yes! Write more whenever you want! I wish I had a return address for you, to send you some mail, but I understand if you dont want to share it. Thanks for the love, the postcards, the stickers ❤️ they are all lovely!
5/20
u/GizmoDOS x2 - Thanks so much for the bookmark, your card, the note card, and the stickers! Thank you for the reminder to take a time to listen to my birds, I have many now, there are around 7 crows, 4 blue jays, and like 6 cardinals, there's other ones that I do not know the names, but I know they made a nest by my backyard door 😄 thanks for writing to me ❤️
u/rosiealeo1 x2 - aren't you the loveliest? OMG I loved your photo, the postcard, and the stamps 😄 thanks so much for picking that one for me ❤️ I love gothic architecture, so you nailed this one ❤️ I'll come over to jump in the pool with you, our community pool is a little too expensive teehee. Take care ❤️
As always, remember to stay awesome!
Love you all, and thanks for thinking of me ❤️ this made my months!
ok byeee ❤️

I need hugs. And a shoulder to rest on. Idk. I’m so exhausted. I want someone to listen to my rants. And just hug me tightly.
Ito lang intention ko. Wala ng iba pa. Me: chubby, cute, 5’2, working student You: working professional (basta can pay his own bills, I wont pay for anyone), 5’6 and up, cute, smells good, kind, not too thin since im chubby
Yakap pls pagod na pagod ako

The future seems so dark when I (22M) think about the fact that I will never ever find anyone like her (27F) and it hurts me so much when I realise that she doesn't think about me for one second outside the sessions but she knows that I think about her a everyday and my chances of ending up with her are 0.0000000....% something for the reasons we all know.
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To provide a little context, I started this therapy to work on my ocd, anxiety, fill the voids of the past, improve my social life. We have only had 3 sessions yet but the 4th one got cancelled and has been rescheduled for tomorrow. Between now and the last session (2 weeks), all these feelings have had a major impact on my mental health including physical wellbeing, loss of appetite, lack of energy to do anything, etc .
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I have also developed anxiety and fears which are weird in ways given that I am very well aware about the ethics, boundaries, psychological concepts, my past history, attachment issues and my own emotions. For example, does she have a boyfriend, is she married? What will happen to me if I am in a public space and see her holding hands with her boyfriend, it would be a nightmare. And when I think about what her boyfriend might look like, muscular, handsome, smart, tall, rich it triggers a whole set of negative emotions.
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I know very well that is none my business, therapists have their personal lives, but I can't help my own fantasies and fears. Fantasies like she giving me tight hug when I feel like crying during the session or me holding her arm when I am feeling anxious or scared. None of my fantasies are sexual in nature though.
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And the worst part is, we have only had 3 sessions yet, in the 2nd one I told her I experienced transference, yes I used that word, she acknowledged it but we didn't really discuss it. However, this is not entirely true, as I lost my head the first time I saw her profile pic and felt so excited that this cute girl is going to be my therapist and that I am going to meet her tomorrow, someone I can completely trust and feel vulnerable with.
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So I kinda tried to figure out what could be the potential reasons behind all this and made a list:

1. I have been desperate about seeing a psychologist for a long time, like more than 4-5 years I would say, until now, I have been gaslighting my own feelings and delaying things.
2. Low female interaction since childhood - Outside workplace or academia, I have never had any female friends since childhood, even if I had any, it would just be for small talk which I hated.
3. Attachment issues
4. I usually don't fall for attractive women whom I have never met, I always idealised my girlfriend to be understanding, compassionate and above anything else, trustworthy.
5. She is just way too cute

But I honestly couldn't come to a conclusion.
I don't know what to do, should I ask her for a referral? Should I stop going to the therapy?
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Edit: to make things worse, I browsed her linkedin and when I realised she is from an elite college, an A grade student, it not only made me question my own self esteem, it felt like she is so much out of my league.

I'm 26(M) Gf is (22) I am confused on what's cheating
We was together for 8months then she broke up with me . We still maintained contact. It was almost like we didn't break up. We still said "I love you" and "babys" you know, the cute stuff. Maybe a week and 2 days go by and she asks me to go to this little party. We kissed hugged, I thought everything was great. 2 days after she tells me she isn't feeling good. So I go to her place and just took care of her. Rubbing her, kissing her, giving her food Anything that she needed. Then I checked her phone while she was in the bathroom. She was txting another dude, full on. I was shocked but ignored it because how she was feeling. Then the guy txted her and the guy called her. She answered him, While I was there. I still continued to take care of her. Eventually I left, hours later he came by and then deed was done. We broke it off completely and then she comes back into my life . She said what she did wasn't cheating because we broke up but regrets what she did. Is it cheating ? Why doesn't she think it's cheating?