If you’re leaving intending on going NC, consider taking this checklist and updating your account so no mail, calls, or email is going to the narc, make sure to update any and all things you subscribe to. Just gives them a plausible reason to contact you or get in the middle of your life if something is sent to them.
Government Offices and Documents: Post Office Drivers License Vehicles Registration Voter Registration Social Security Administration Passports Department of Revenue
Utility and Service Providers: Electricity Provider Gas Suppliers Cabel/Satellite Provider Water Company Trash Removal Service Internet Provider Cell Phone Provider
Financial Services and Documents: Bank/Credit Card Companies Loan Agreements (mortgage, auto, federal) Insurance Company (homeowners, auto, etc.) Financial Advisor Accountant Lawyer Mortgage Broke Real Estate Agent
Employment and Education: Employer(s), Employee(s) Clients/Business Relationships Insurance (health, life, dental) Pension and Other Retirement Accountants Current Colleges or Educational Providers Alma Maters (and associated organizations) Child Care Provider Child’s School and After-School Activities
Family, Pets, Groups, and OTHER: Health Care Providers Pharmacies Veterinarians Pet Insurance Company Pet Tags Churches Community Groups Memberships (gym, wholesalers, library) Reward Programs Subscriptions (online, direct mail) Return Addresses Labels/ Business Cards Friends and Family

I 22F finally decided that it was time to get an IUD after years of terrible birth control pill side effects and contemplation. I finally have insurance from my job and it was the perfect time to get it.
When I told my friend my story as we are avid listeners of THT, we just knew Morgan needed to hear it.
A lot of my friends have IUDs and I heard that the procedure is painful but I thought I had a high pain tolerance and it would be fine. I brought my mom with me for support and to be my ride home. Mistake or blessing...
I made sure to drink a lot of water, ate a good breakfast, got a good night sleep, took my ibuprofen and did everything they asked of me.
I got to my appointment and was quickly ushered into the exam room. I was told to put the gown on and lay on the table. My feet were up in the stirrups and I was thinking I was ready for what was about to come.
When the time came for the insertion I was met with the most intense wave of pain I have every experienced in my life. I was used to having really bad period cramps but this was next level. I laid there squeezing my moms hand as it felt like my insides were being ripped apart and at that moment I knew it was bad when my doctor said "this is what it feels like to have a baby". Near the end of it, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. I was fanning myself aggressively. My doctor then says "its normal to feel a little light headed". NO BABE I'M ABOUT LITERALLY PASS OUT. As the torture was finally over (or so I thought) she proceeds to tell me post procedure instructions, but honestly I couldn't even hear her because I thought I was going to pass out, throw up and shit while simultaneously having the worst cramps of my whole life. As the doctor was leaving I asked her if she could get me a bucket because thought I was going to throw up. The doctor returns with a super small basin the size of my two hands. She leaves the room again and I'm just there with my mom and the basin and at this point I turn onto my side thinking im going to be sick but nothing came out. I just continue to lay there for about 10 minutes... until I get the urge that I REALLY need to shit. So, the goal here was to get up, remove my gown, put my clothes back on and go to the bathroom. When I attempted that, I instantly threw myself back on the bed because I really thought I was going to pass out. Announcing to my mom "Holy shit I'm going to pass out". The urge to shit now has me with my elbows on the bed unable to stand up straight, clenching my cheeks together so I do not shit. Keeping in mind that I am still wearing a patient gown with my whole ass out. I knew that I needed to make some moves here, somehow I needed to get to a toilet. As I try to stand up again, I realize there is no way I am getting my clothes back on. So I think, fuck it, I will just walk down the hallway to the bathroom in my gown. All I cared about in this moment was getting this demon out of me. Thinking back on this now.. I wish I tried a lot harder to make it to the bathroom.
"Mom, hand my that basin. I need to shit.. now"
In my state of debilitating pain, I full on squated on the floor like a cave man holding the basin under me and my mom steadying it with her foot as I proceeded to release the most enormous shit I have ever taken. it did. not. stop. Every time I thought it was going to stop more just kept coming. The only thing I could say as it kept pouring out of me was "I'm so sorry" and "oh wow" on repeat. The basin quickly filled and I had no choice but to continuing shitting on the floor. Bless her heart, my mom kept trying to tell me it was okay and grabbed some paper towels and started cleaning the mess I had made. You think in this moment I would be humiliated after shitting on the floor like a dog and releasing the most vile smell into the atmosphere but I did not care. I only felt relief.
As my mom is trying to wipe my ass because I literally did not have the capability, my doctor walks in and my mom announces:
"She had an accident. She crapped".
Eventually after having a sip of water I was able to leave the clinic. Leaving behind most of my dignity, a soiled gown and an exam room that needed a complete sterilization. Needless to say, I am forever indebted to my mom and I will never be returning to that doctors office.
If you're looking for some advice about getting an IUD, please remember this post and please consider having it done under sedation.

i have some questions about course selection and graduating, im a fifth year student picking up some extra courses to tailor my degree to my post grad program because the admissions departments prefer you’d have credits in certain subject areas and im not sure where to start with mac courses. i already know what mandatory courses i need to graduate so i’m not sure if i’m better suited asking the science or careers guidance office. i was also wondering if anyone had used drop in services or was able to make an appointment recently, i’ve found mixed things online about whether they’re open. thanks!

I already wrote a reddit posts about this which got over 30k views and a couple hundred responses (thank you to all who gave their input and advice). For those who didn't read it this is the short version. There's a Nigerian man in KL sexually assaulted and impregnating tourists with hopes of getting a visa/citizenship elsewhere and is also trying to pay local women to marry him. His main target is American and Australia women as he deems these passports as more valuable. He arrived in Malaysia on a student visa 4 years ago but has been told recently he has to leave. To avoid leaving these are his desperate attempts to find a way to stay or return so he can continue with these scams with his friends.
I unfortunately am one of those people he assaulted. Most women from what I've gathered run for the hills back to their country but I bought at ticket back to track him down. I've also hired a lawyer and a private investigator. Thus far we have been able to trace every hotel he goes to where he hunts down and assault tourists. We also see he makes frequent visits to money transfer places or other luxury apartments where he and his friends run these investor scams. We ran his car, of course under someone else's name. We ran his phone and it was a burner.
The million dollar question is what is his real name? So my question to all of you locals is what forms of ID are given to those in Malaysia? In the states we simply have a drivers license and a passport. If you are new immigrant to the US you receive a green card. What forms of identification would he have been given to have residency here that would require his real name? And what situations are you ID'd? In the states we are ID'd at clubs, bars, checking into hotels, hospitals or doctors offices and when we get pulled over. We are CONSTANTLY having to show our ID in the states for security purposes but I'm wondering if that's the case here and if so, where?

Anybody know this clown? Even found his address. I’m a Brigadier General in the United States Air Force Reserve serving full time at a joint reserve naval-USAF Reserve/National Guard military installation in Ft Worth, Texas. I was TDY to S.C. And at my brother’s house while he was on a business trip to Atlanta. He asked me to talk to this clown he booked an appointment with regarding some life insurance and had him on speaker phone. The plan sounded like garbage but the most disturbing thing was this guy started hitting on my brother’s 14 year old granddaughter who was at the house. It was awkward as he kept looking at her funny and asking questions like how school was and stating she was beautiful. He even touched her. I took the guy to the side afterwards and he denied doing anything but had this smirk on his face. He said he’s genuinely nice to everybody but he knew from my mannerisms, that I was not buying his shit.
Off topic, I know he said he has a wife and bragged how he carried 4 cell phones and she only knew about one. I would love to find out who the wife is and tell her a thing or two about him.
The jerk seems to remove all his poor ratings for his business (MediCarolinas) and since about March, a little after this occurred, I have attempted to post a 1 star rating with this explanation 5 times and each time, my review has gotten deleted. Look up the business on google and you will see he has all 5 star ratings… hmmm? He also (unlike other businesses do) thanked any of his eaters. Even major chain restaurants do that or apologize to the ones who leave low ratings.
I’ve had years of experience as a general officer sitting on court martials for suspected pedophiles and many acted the same way this guy did. Guess what? They all were also found guilty with unanimous evidence.

I am a South African citizen. I live in Scotland where I am doing a PhD in a STEM subject at one of the top 20 ranked universities in the world. Often during the course of my PhD I am required to travel to mainland Europe for conferences. I also have family who live in France and are French citizens.
Every time I need to travel to the EU I am required to get a Schengen visa. To do this I have to:
-Fill in a form and pay 80 Euros. -Provide evidence of my identity by including my passport (and a copy, with copies of every visa I've ever received), and my British biometric residency permit (and a copy). -Pay a photography company 10 pounds for passport photos to go on my visa. -Provide evidence of my student status from my university -Provide 3 months bank statements to prove I have enough money to travel. -Provide evidence of my travels including: - Bookings of flights to and from the EU. - Bookings of hotels for every night I will be staying - Bookings of all the train trips I will be taking during the trip. -Provide a letter of invitation from the person or organisation I will be visiting.
In addition to all this the visa application is processed by an external contractor (usually VFSGlobal or TLScontact) whose only job as far as I can gather is to take my documents and drive them down the road to the embassy of the country I will be applying to. For this they charge me 32 pounds.
The appointment slots at these companies are almost always fully booked and one has to make appointments months in advance to get in, something utterly impossible when I am only invited to a conference a month or so beforehand.
If you are successful in your application you are generally granted a visa precisely for the period you need to travel for, give or take a day. If you attend a 3 day conference in France, you are given 4 or 5 days validity on your visa. If, after you come back you find there is another conference in Germany in 2 months you have to begin a new application. It once happened to me that I was lucky and got 6 months but this has never again happened to me since.
I'd like to contrast this with what happens if you want to visit the EU on a "more desirable passport". Americans, Canadians, New Zealanders, Singaporeans, and yes, even the British after Brexit, do not have to apply for a visa to visit mainland Europe. If you hold one of these passports you can just show up at the border and immediately be let in for a period of 90 days.
Furthermore, EU citizens are not required to apply for visas when travelling to my home country, South Africa. Somebody holding a French or German passport can show up at an airport and immediately get 90 days allowed travel in South Africa with no caveats.
In addition to this is the incompetence of the visa organisations. On my most recent trip to France there was an error on the website where I applied for my visa, which meant I paid the 32 pound fee but no appointment was given to me. I phoned the call centre and was told that I should start a new appointment and my money would be refunded. So far it hasn't been. I booked a new appointment and spent an additional 32 pounds. On the day of my appointment I arrived at the visa office only to find there was an error and my visa application had been registered as a "spousal visa" instead of a tourist visa. This was partly my own fault as I had selected the option "family visit" when applying for my visa as I was travelling to visit my aforementioned French family members. What I wasn't aware of was that "family visit" is only an applicable category when you are visiting parents, children or spouses and not uncles, aunts and cousins as I was. I was told that my application would therefore be invalid and I would have to make a new application, which I did. Overall I ended up paying 96 pounds for the services I received instead of 32. I am still waiting for an appointment confirmation and I hope that my appointment will be soon enough that I don't have to cancel my trip.
I am irritated not only at the organisation for messing me around but also at the EU/Schengen member states who've seen fit to implement such draconian visa laws. I am also frustrated at the injustice of being treated differently simply because of the passport I hold.
Rant over. (Actually I've decided I might submit this as a letter to a newspaper lol).
PS: I am aware of the difference between the Schengen area and the EU but I use them interchangeably in this post simply for convenience.

Hi my husband had a liver transplant September 2022. We finally got him into the dentist and honestly I'm pissed off. So if you're pre or post transplant you need medical clearance from your liver team prior to any treatment from another doctodentist. So we made my husband a dentist appointment of course he needed medical clearance to get the work done. The dental assistant front office got that clearance within days because she flat out lied to the transplant doctors saying he was in pain and proceeded to say they had him on 2 rounds of antibiotics because of this. Also told my husband if they ask to lie to them and tell them this as well. He's got another surgery coming up for stents this month and I'm honestly scared that these life saving treatments could be hindered because of this dental office. We're in So Cal do you think we have a malpractice case? I know if it interferes with his surgery we will for sure but they were so okay with this it makes me worried about others as well. This is not okay with me.

Posting a full update here! After getting an in person appointment today for DOT of 6/3 (tomorrow), I have secured my passport!! More accurate timeline below and more about my experience at the Los Angeles Passport Agency:
4/21: Mailed my passport renewal (DS 82) with routine service and 1-2 day shipping for delivery
4/24: Arrived to Irving TX processing center
4/26: DOS received application and it’s in process
5/22: Realize I need to expedite so I call the NPIC number and they take my card information. They tell me to call back starting 5/26 for an in person appointment. I got my first passport as a teen so had no idea what these appointments were and that they were so hard to get
5/26: I call NPIC and of course they say they don’t have any appointments. My application is still in process at the New Orleans passport agency (locator 42). This is the Friday before Memorial Day so I figure not much else to do until after the holiday.
During this weekend I start to comb through Reddit threads and this is where I learn I can contact my congressmen to help with the passport process (I never knew they could help with this sort of stuff)
5/30: I email and call my congressmen’s office (Jimmy Lopez in LA) and fill out their forms. They get back to me same day and say they will put in the congressional inquiry and if that won’t speed up the process they will try and get me an appointment. I also call NPIC to check on appointments and none avail still. I also call locator 42 directly and tell them NPIC marked my app as urgent, that I got a congressional inquiry and my DOT is 6/3 but the customer service agent is extremely unhelpful
5/31: I call my congressman’s office again and let them know how unhelpful locator 42 is and they end up getting me an appointment to go in person to my local passport agency in LA on 6/2. Even though I mailed in my old passport with my application and don’t have access to my birth certificate, the guy in the office assures me to go the appointment and just bring anything I have that could work as proof of citizenship. Folks on Reddit threads also calmed my nerves since ppl said they just went with other things other than their birth certificate and were able to still be seen.
6/1: I try one last ditch effort to call locator 42 and I actually get a really nice lady who says she’ll do what she can and she marked my app as urgent but that it probably won’t make much of a difference since the next day is Friday/ the weekend is coming up and my travel is so soon.
6/2: Day of in person appointment in LA! Had a 7:30am appt. I brought my filled out DS-82 app (renewal), copy of my previous passport, passport photo, State ID (mine is from NY state), flight and hotel confirmation, and for safety I brought my apartment lease and SSN card lol but I didn’t need those in the end. I arrived at 7:20 and the line was already long. They didn’t let ppl in til closer to 8am. The line moved so slow it wasn’t until 10:30am that I was seen. At the last minute I was diverted away from the line going inside the building and through security and to one of their windows they use for will call outside. I give in my documents and am told to come back between 1:30 and 3. I come back around 12:45 and the line for pick up is even longer. I get to the front around 2:30p and they tell me my passport isn’t ready yet so I have to go inside. Inside there’s a room full of people waiting for their passports to print. I wait on a smaller line and when I get to the front they take my receipt and tell me to wait in the waiting area for then to call my name. They call my name around 4pm, hand me my passport and I’m off!
Hopefully this is helpful for someone out there as I was losing all hope. This thread definitely helped keep me sane and I wish everyone the best of luck if they are trying to get their passports, keep pushing through!

A Nevada Assembly committee has approved a Senate-passed bill that would create a new working group to study psychedelics and develop a plan to allow regulated access for therapeutic purposes.
The Assembly Health and Human Services Committee advanced the legislation from Sen. Rochelle Nguyen (D) in a voice vote on Friday, less than a week after it cleared the full Senate. It now heads to the floor, where members may take it up as early as this weekend before it’s potentially sent to the governor’s desk.
Nguyen told committee members that she first learned about the benefits of psychedelics from constituents who raised the issue with her.
“The people that come to you are not people that look like they’re out of a Woodstock video…but they are first responders,” she said. “They are firefighters, they are police officers, they are veterans and they are people that don’t traditionally fit the bill of someone that you would think of when we talk about mushrooms or psychedelics.”
Representatives of the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department and the Nevada Sheriffs’ and Chiefs’ Association testified in support of the legislation before the Assembly panel.
“This is something that we need to support. It is something that is coming, and we should be on the forefront of it—not in the middle of the pack or behind,” the sponsor said, referring to similar reforms advancing in other states. “And without this bill passing, I worry that we are behind.”
As introduced, the measure would have legalized psilocybin and promoted research into the psychedelic, as well as encouraged studies of MDMA—but it was significantly scaled back by a Senate committee.
The bill as revised now focuses on forming a Psychedelic Medicines Working Group to examine the use of entheogens “in medicinal, therapeutic, and improved wellness.”
The sponsor had acknowledged that the legislation would likely be amended during an initial committee hearing in March, stating that she would be amenable to changes and primarily wanted to initiate a conversation in the legislature about psychedelics reform.
Under the bill as currently drafted, a 15-member working group would be established under the state Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), tasked with studying the science of psychedelics “including but not limited to” psilocybin and psilocin in overall wellness and the treatment of mental health conditions such as PTSD, substance use disorder and major depressive disorder, and during end of life care.
The group would further need to look at federal, state and local laws governing the therapeutic use of psychedelics and then develop an “actionable plan on how to enable access to therapeutic entheogens and compounds…that are safe, accessible, and affordable.”
They would be required to submit a report to the legislature with their findings by December 31, 2024.
Members of the working group would include the state attorney general, director of HHS, director of veterans services and president of the Nevada Board of Pharmacology, or their respective designees. Another four members would be appointed by majority and minority leaders of each legislative chamber. Seven more members who meet certain criteria would be appointed by the governor.
The governor would need to select a military veteran with personal experience with psychedelics to treat post-traumatic stress disorder, a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist with a background in substance misuse treatment, a federally registered psychedelics researcher and a representative of a Nevada tribal government, among others.
“We appreciate the committee’s support this afternoon and look forward to a vote in the affirmative by the full Assembly over the weekend,” Scot Rutledge, partner at Argentum Partners, told Marijuana Moment. “Given the current dynamics of this session, we are pleased to see continued bi-partisan support for this critically important working group.”
Nevada is joining a rapidly growing list of states where legislators are pursuing psychedelics reform this session as interest in the therapeutic potential into entheogenic substances expands.

Hello all, this is my first time posting. I hope I'm doing it right.
I (43m) am trying to set up a irrevocable trust for my dads (77m) property, I did my research and I feel this is what's best for me, my dad wanted to do a quick claim deed and I told him that, that would screw me in taxes. where we are there in no inheritance tax, and a will tends to take a while through court.
I reached out to a local attorney, requesting a irrevocable trust. they call me back that day and I spoke to a gentleman and he had some questions, but one question he was skating around which I answered before he asked. "My dad is of sound mind.". Then I asked for a ballpark cost. and he said that it was going to be between $800-$1500, 15 being with somewhat complicated paperwork. Later on I made the retainer labeling it irrevocable trust and made an appointment for 6 weeks later.
Upon the time of the meeting, my dad and I went in to see what they needed, and to find out how much money they needed. This time it was a different person who walked us through a few choices she was the the owner of this branch (there are 2 branches). My dad asked about the quick claim deed and she confirmed what that would do to me. he answered questions about my sibling and their birthdays. She asked about other assets and my dad said that this was about the property and it was to be transferred to me, she proceeds to give us 2 options a deed ($1300) or a trust ($4000). they were laminated and I asked to take a photo and she said that was okay. a bit shocked over the price, we left and when I got home I looked at the photo and it was a (revocable trust) not a (irrevocable trust) which I was quite specific about.
I wrote back to the law office about cost on a irrevocable trust and there was a mistake and we were quoted a revocable trust. about and hour later i get a response, and it goes like this.
Attorney; what's this for?
Me; (thinking, "ummm") such and such property, leaving my name.
Attorney; I know that, why do you want that?
Me; (thinking, "are you kidding me? do I have to go into it?) I explained how much money I put in his place ($20,000+), the risk of me relocating out here, protection against creditors and that this was my requirement for what I'm doing for him.
Attorney; The problem is that it only protects against debts after the trust. not the debts before.
Me; That's fine, we'll take care of that
And that's it, I haven't heard from her. its been a few days and I feel like she just made the appointment for the retainer. they have nothing but 5 stars on the reviews but there are only 40 reviews.
I want a quote, but I get the feeling that she just wants to blow me off. Is this normal?
edit to add- I was clear with my dad what a irrevocable trust is, and he was okay with it. he hoped I could obtain the property sooner, but I'm cool with waiting.

My old post is linked above. I was freaked out that I wasn’t going to get my passport in time as I never listed DOT on my application, didn’t pay for expedited ANYTHING and was just going with the flow. Well, say whatever politically you must about Tom Thillis’ office, their help with passports slays. I reached out last Friday, got an immediate reply and filled out the form. Waited until Tuesday to reach back out and had no update. Wednesday they replied saying Locater 35 got back to them and was processing my case. Just checked and it’s shipped! The whole time it said processing until today. Keep in mind I signed up for email updates and never received a damn thing lmao. I also left two voicemails for location 35 and told them my situation in the hopes they’d listen and find my app. Expected arrival date for passport is Monday! 🥳🥳

When have they not created controversy?
The language debate has been going on for centuries, and yet, it still manages to garner a lot of attention even today. Whether the attention is positive (rarely) or negative (mostly), it’s there, and I think we need to slow down a little and look at everything we’ve got before giving an opinion.
Many of the complaints are about the fact that anglophones are being refused certain rights or are outright being discriminated against when it comes to receiving provincial services in Quebec. I can’t speak about individuals (because we all know there are some assholes out there, no matter who we’re speaking about), but I can explain the law. And that’s what this post is going to be about.
This series of posts will contain:
- An explanation of the language law (Bill 101 and its recent update, Bill 96), as well as what it means for anglophones, allophones and francophones. (this post)
- An explanation of the OQLF (Office Quebecois de la langue française) as well as what it can do and cannot do. (this post)
- A review of the different language laws of the past (ever wondered what Law 17 was about? Or about what happened in Manitoba during its creation, and after? And what about those laws that Prince Edward Island passed, but of which we don’t have any physical evidence?)
- A little look at Quebec’s position in the past (not a history lesson of course, but I think it can help people understand the province’s position today)
- A link to the different resources I used, if you’d like to read them yourself (a warning however: many will be in French. You can always use Google translate, but please be aware that it may not convey the original meaning)
Moreover, a disclaimer: I am NOT a lawyer or a political analyst, or anything; I’m merely a random person who decided to do some research. I do think my research is accurate, although it is most likely not complete and superficial. I wish I could dig deeper and give you all an amazing analysis, but that’s simply impossible with my current skills. However, I do hope you learn more from this, just like I did, and that it pushes you to investigate further! Don’t hesitate to comment and ask questions, though I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to answer them all.
I’d like to add that this text is greatly influenced by Wikipédia, so I won’t claim to be the only author of it. However, any translations are my own. In relations to that, please forgive any mistakes that may appear in this text; English isn’t my first language, and though I do claim to be bilingual and to have a general great understanding of the language, I do sometimes forget certain terms, unfortunately.
With that said, let’s jump in!

The controversial Bill 101 and the even-more controversial Bill 96

The first ‘ancestor’ of Bill 101 is Bill 63 which was passed at the of the 1960s in an attempt to solve a conflict opposing French Canadians and Italian immigrants in St-Leonard, or at least, that’s where it started; the conflict then became a provincial-wide issue, and the government was pressured to react to it. While it was supposed to promote the use French, it mostly let allophones have access to English schools, which, considering the time…they took advantage of. Can’t blame them, but it did kind of ruin the purpose of the law.
In the 1970s, the Union nationale (who had passed the law) lost to the Liberals of Robert Bourassa, who then decided to attempt to create a new law in 1974: Bill 22 (again, ‘ancestor’ of Bill 101). They somehow managed to make everyone angry. People who supported the use of only French were mad that English could still be used at work without any limits, and people who supported the right to choose were mad that children needed to pass an English knowledge test before being able to be admitted in an English school. It did, however, make French the official language in the province. But the Liberals were hit hard and lost the elections in 1976.
The winners of the election of 1976 were the Parti Quebecois, the creators of Bill 101. The law is passed in 1977, and while a majority of francophones are happy (an approval rate of 80,6%), anglophones are not. That’s because, by making French the reference language in Quebec, English loses its status of sometimes-dominating language in some neighborhoods, and messes with the linguistic balance (mostly in Montreal). Thus, we have the exodus of anglophones; around 83 000 anglophones choose to leave the province during the mandate of the Parti Quebecois. Many left due to fear and frustration, although it’s worth noting that that’s the sort of speech many anglophone newspapers used at the time.
But was the law really that bad? Did it justify so many people being scared and leaving? Well, we have to look a bit more at Bill 101 to understand. Let’s look at it title by title:
Title 1: Has 9 chapters that say that French is the official language of legislation, justice, administration, parapublic organisms, work, trade & affairs and finally, teaching.
Title 2: Defines 5 fundamentals rights that all Quebecers have, namely.
- Everyone has a right to receive communication in French from all governmental branches, professional orders, employees associations and enterprises established in Québec.
- Everyone has a right to speak in French during deliberative assemblies.
- Everyone has a right to work in French.
- Everyone has a right to be served in French and to be informed in French.
- Everyone admissible to studying in Quebec has a right to receive their education in French.
Title 3: About the linguistic officialization, toponomy and francization of civil administration and enterprises
Title 4: It establishes the Conseil supérieur de la langue française.
Title 5 & 6: Defines the provisions and penal sanctions, as well as various transitional provisions.
Now that we’ve established the different titles, let’s take a look at the different provisions:
Langue de la législation et de la justice (Language of legislation and justice) :
Bills and regulations within the National Assembly, the tribunals and the Quebecois judicial system need to be printed, adopted, and sanctioned in BOTH FRENCH AND ENGLISH. Both versions have the same judicial value. State regulations need to be in both languages, but those from municipalities and school service centers don’t necessarily have to be.
Moreover, in a judicial context, it is a person’s right to express themselves in either French or English, orally or on paper.
Langue de l’administration (Language of the administration):
The government, the ministries and other organisms of public administration need to be designated by the French denomination, and their publications, communications, contracts and display also need to be in French. Moreover, administration employees need to have an appropriate knowledge of French.
Langue des organismes parapublics (Language of parapublic organisms) :
Enterprises of public utility, professional orders and their members need to offer their services and the texts destined to the public in French. They must also freely provide a translation of texts that concern them. Communications with the State, moral people and their members is also in French unless there’s an exception. If you want to be a member of a professional order, you must have an appropriate understanding of French.
Langue du travail (Language of work) :
French is the usual and normal language of work. Employers and unions need to communicate with the employees in French and write their collective conventions in French. Promotions and work offers must also be written in French. An employee cannot be penalized because they don’t have sufficient understanding of a language other than French or require the knowledge of a language other than French to get a job (unless, of course, knowledge of this language is necessary for the job).
Langue du commerce et des affaires (Language of trade and affairs) :
French is mandatory for; containers of a product, wrappings, documents, inscriptions, catalogues, brochures, leaflets, commercial directories, softwares, games, toys, adhesion contracts, contracts and documents attached to them, job application forms, purchase orders, bills, receipts, public displays, commercial publicity and names of businesses (for the last 3, there are some exceptions; for example, certain businesses that have already registered their name with the Canadian government don’t have to add French to their name. Some still choose to).
Langue de l’enseignement maternel, primaire et secondaire (Language of maternal, primary and secondary education) :
French is the language of all three of those. However, children who have at least one Canadian parent who received most of their schooling (primary or secondary) in English in Canada can have access to English schools (Canada clause). For higher education, cegeps and universities need to have a usage and quality policy on the French language.
Various provisions:
French and another language can be used side by side if a certain law doesn’t require the exclusive use of French. This affects the redaction of texts or documents, where French can be used with either one or multiple languages. However, French needs to be at least as EQUALLY visible as the other language(s).
Linguistic officialization:
Ministries and organisms related to the public administration can create committees to evaluate shortcomings when it comes to the use of certain terms. They can suggest the use of more appropriate terms or expressions, who then need to be suggested or normalized by the OQLF. Once that last part is done, those terms/expressions then become mandatory in the public administration.
(Skipping toponymy because this is getting long, but there’s basically a Commission that takes care of all the names of places and the Charter defines their competencies)
(Same for the francization of the administration and enterprises)
Conseil supérieur de la langue française (Superior Council of the French Language) :
The Charter defines their role and their composition. Their role is to advise the minister responsible for the French Language (it’s currently Jean-Francois Roberge, the previous minister of Education).
For sanctions, to quickly go over it: 600$ to 6000$ for physical people and between 1500$ and 20 000$ for moral people (double if they do it again).
And we’re done with the most technical part of this post! We still haven’t gone over Bill 96, but believe me, it’ll be way shorter than that. But we’re still not done with Bill 101, so let’s keep going.
Anglophone and Indigenous minorities have, of course, certain rights that are recognized by the Constitution. Therefore, those rights must be respected and that’s what the Charter does. For example:
- When laws are published in both French and English, both versions are equally valid.
- People can speak to the tribunal in English.
- Judgements can be made available in either French or English, if someone asks for a translation (depends on if the judgment was first released in French or English)
- The law doesn’t apply to Indigenous reserves, but to the local Indigenous language outside of it. That means that outside of the reserve, local Indigenous languages are submitted to the legislation, same as English or any language other than French.
Of course, ever since its adoption, the law was the subject of many controversies and invalidations by the Supreme Court of Canada. Therefore, the Quebec government was forced to change the law accordingly. Other times, the provincial government chose to change without being forced to (like with Bill 96). To go over them quickly:
Law 178: Superior Court of Quebec invalidates dispositions that mandates French as the sole language that can be used on displays. The decision is confirmed in 1988 by the Superior Court of Canada. Robert Bourassa (Quebec Liberal Party) is therefore forced to act and chooses to change the law so that French is still mandatory outside, but can be used alongside other languages inside, as long as it is predominant. He uses the derogation clause. Nobody is happy once again, for completely different reasons, and 3 ministers decide to resign a few days later.
Invalidation of article 73: Now, children from anywhere in Canada can now have access to English schools (before, it was only if their education had been mostly in English in Quebec). The Constitution of 1982 now made it a right for any Canadian to receive education in the minority language of the province. The requirements of the Charter still apply, but now, to a Canada-wide scale. That right is then added to the Charter with Law 86.
Law 86: Without being forced to, the government passes a law that ends the mandatory use of only French in commercial displays. Bilingual displays are authorized if French is visibly dominant. The law also makes sure that judicial services are offered in both French and English, which wasn’t the case before.
- Why it wasn’t the case: When the law was first adopted, it made it so that bills tabled at the National Assembly had to be written in French and trials had to be conducted in French, unless both parties agreed for it to be done in English. Camille Laurin (the father of the law), and the council of ministers knew that those provisions would go against the Constitution (the British North America Act), but that they wanted t o protest against the fact that only Quebec had to provide those services in both languages, as all the other provinces in English Canada were exempted (therefore, only English was fine, no French version was mandatory). The Supreme Court invalidated these articles, and thus, the law was changed.
The next important change is with Bill 96, but before we get to that, we`ve just got a few parts parts left.
Other Countries
Did you know? Other countries were inspired by Quebec’s language policy:
The Baltic countries; to protect their respective languages against Russian. Some complained about a one-way bilingualism, in which, for example, Lithuanians learnt Russian and Lithuanian, but Russians only learnt Russian because there wasn’t a need for them to learn Lithuanian. Mart Rannut, vice-doyen of research at the department of psychology at Tallinn University, in Estonia, has even said (about Bill 101), that it has << touched 1/6 of the planet >>.
Catalonia: The legislation in Quebec had a big impact during the sociopolitical debate about the protection of Catalan against castellan in Spain. Catalan was made mandatory in public function because of a law inspired by Law 101.
China: The country was inspired by the law when they wrote one of their decisions, whose goal was to promote standard mandarin.
Israel: English is perceived as a threat against Hebrew, although for now, the Quebec law has only influenced linguists and a few politicians.
Wales: Law 101 had a big impact in Wales too, but unfortunately, couldn’t be implemented the same way it was in Baltic countries, as Gaelic speakers are a minority in the UK. Colin H. Williams, a professor and researcher at the Gaelic department at Cardiff University, said that many lessons can be learnt from Quebec’s experience.
Porto Rico: A law adopted in 1991 made Spanish the only official language of this place. It was inspired by Law 101. It was repealed in 1993.
Did you expect China to be there? Me neither honestly. According to the same Tallinn researcher, many Soviet countries were inspired by Quebec’s law. However, I haven’t done much research about this, so I won’t go deeper into this (although it’s very interesting to learn about).
Before going further, I’d like to explain the role of an organization that is often mentioned in the media. The so-called ‘language police’, whose role I’ll explain. I’ll also talk about some of the limits they have, as well as a particular incident that many people keep bringing up.
The OQLF (Office québécois de la langue française) :
The OQLF was created in 1961, although it didn’t have as many responsibilities as it does now. Those were expanded in 1977, with the adoption of the Charter of the French language. Because, yes; the OQLF was there way before Law 101.
The organization has many responsibilities, including:
- Making sure the Charter of the French language is respected.
- Keeping an eye on the evolution of French in Quebec and giving a rapport to the minister at least every 5 years.
- Making sure that French is the language used at work, during communications, for trade and affairs. Taking the measures they deem necessary to make sure French is promoted.
- Must help define and elaborate francization programs as is foreseen in the law.
- Can assist and inform compagnies, organisms, and more about better words/terms they can use to make sure they stay up to date with the development of French in Québec.
- Can receive observations and suggestions about what could be done better to develop French and apply the law. Those can then be taken to the minster.
- Must establish the necessary research programs to the application of the law. Can conduct studies they deem necessary for those programs.
- Can conclude agreements and participate in projects with any person or organism.
- Can conclude agreements with a different government than the one in Québec, one of its ministries, and international organization or an organism that is linked to that government. That is possible as long as it follows the law in place in Québec.
While the OQLF’s more ‘active’ role is often the most highlighted, it’s far from the only one they have. And they don’t spend all of their time treating complaints either; finding more appropriate French words, following the evolution of French in the province, assisting compagnies and answering their questions and cooperating with different organizations is what they do the most often.
But since receiving, treating, and acting upon complaints is what they’re most known for, let’s address that.
Most years, the OQLF receives a few thousand complaints. Those complaints are sent by Quebecers who feel like their right to be served in French in Québec is affected. However, the OQLF doesn’t act upon all of these, and even then, most of the complaints they act upon are solved rather quickly. Most don’t make the news.
Many complaints are ignored and considered to be invalid. Others were already solved by the time the OQLF could intervene. Sometimes, the products were immediately taken off the shelf. Finally, sometimes, the complaints were made too late, and could not be treated.
For the fines, those don’t happen too often. For example, in 2006, they were only 127 fines that were given, between 250$ and 5000$.
All in all, there’s not really much ‘police’ in that. And that’s mostly the reality.
Some incidents did get out of hands of course (like the famous Pastagate incident, for which the OQLF admitted having been ‘overzealous’ and for which the head of the organization at the time, Louise Marchand, resigned), but it’s really not common. For most cases in which the complaint was appropriate, compagnies or people simply correct the mistake.
Now, for the part many were probably waiting for, the very, very controversial bill adopted in 2021…

Bill 96

I’m sure everyone (or at least, those who follow the news) remember the multiple debates that happened (and are still happening) about this law adopted around 2 years ago. Articles were written, protests were organized, Indigenous people weren’t happy; it was messy. Some misinformation was even spread around, like the idea that anglophones wouldn’t be able to receive medical services in English anymore (which, to be clear, isn’t true).
What is the truth? What are the lies? What should you be angry at? All the answers you might be seeking are here.
A mini disclaimer before we start this section: I am merely human, and therefore, have an opinion on this subject which I’ve researched as much as I could. Of course, I’ll give you all the facts so that you can then make a decision yourself, but there are some things I personally disagree with (or agree with) that might be more obvious than others. Anyway, let’s start.
What did Bill 96 include?
When it was first introduced, the bill provided for the creation of a French language commissioner (whose designation would have to be approved by 2/3 of the National Assembly) as well as for the creation of a ministry of the French language.
It amended the Charter to change and include certain things:
- Laws can still be adopted in both languages, but when there is a misunderstanding between both versions, the French version will prevail.
- All judgements given in English will have to be translated in French.
- The knowledge of a language other than French cannot be required during the nomination of a provincial judge, unless the justice minister deems it necessary.
- Regulations don’t have to be written in English anymore, because the requirement of bilingualism (of the British North America Act of 1897) didn’t include regulations.
- For schools, English cegeps now have a limit, and can only accept 17,5% of the entire Québécois student population. Non-anglophones students will also have to complete the French exam (mandatory in French cegeps) to receive their diplomas. The student quota doesn’t apply to universities.
- Enterprises that have between 25 and 49 employees will need to obtain a francization certificate, just like enterprises with more than 50 employees. Law 101 will also apply to federal enterprises.
- Bilingual municipalities have their bilingual status removed if their population isn’t mostly anglophone anymore. However, they can ask to maintain that status with a resolution. As of today, all 48 municipalities concerned with this part of the law have adopted such a resolution to keep their status.
- Civil status documents obtained in English in a different Canadian province must be translated. Before, only documents written in a language other than French and English were concerned (so, mostly documents from other countries)
- The preliminary of the Quebec Civil Code is modified to say that it is now interpreted in harmony with the Charter of the French language, and not only with the Quebec Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms.
- Modifies the Profession Code to say that an inability to maintain an appropriate knowledge of French constitutes a derogatory act to the dignity of someone’s profession.
- Modifies the Constitution of 1867 to add the recognition of the Québécois nation and French as its sole official language. Uses the derogatory clause.
- Makes it so that after 6 months, an immigrant will have to communicate with the government in French.
- Gives the power to inspectors in charge of the application of the law to penetrate, at any reasonable hour, in any place aside from a house, where an activity concerned by the law is happening.
Those are most of the changes included in Bill 96. However, the law still has some limits. For example:
- Article 133 of the Constitution of 1867 (concerning the bilingualism of Quebec and the Canadian parliament) cannot be modified without the authorization of the Canadian parliament. Therefore, the part that was added (French is the sole official language of Quebec), is technically not valid. However, I don’t think the federal government intervened as of now (or plans to), so it’s there.
- For article 530 of the criminal code, the protected right to be heard in common law doesn’t actually say that the judge must speak English or even just understand it (the stoppage Société des Acadien c. Association of Parents). However, later, with a different stoppage (R. c. Beaulac), it was declared that the tribunals have to be institutionally bilingual to make sure both official languages can be used. Since criminal law is under federal jurisdiction, Quebec’s attempt to create a unilingual judicial system could meet some obstacles. However, the use of the derogatory clause by the province complicates things.
- It is still a right to receive medical services in English. While Quebec could have attempted to eliminate that right, it didn’t. Same goes for 9-1-1 (fun fact: only Quebec and New-Brunswick are forced to give 9-1-1 services in the minority language of their province. None of the others do), even though Indigenous people and anglophones were worried about that.
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Bill 96 certainly goes further than the previous version of Bill 101 did, and that has many people worried. I myself don’t completely agree with some of the changes here. But let’s not fall into misinformation, because that helps absolutely no one. Fear and panic are also emotions we should avoid acting upon, no matter if we agree or disagree with the law. And please, no Nazi comparisons; they did much, much worse and I think it’s clear to all (or at least, I hope it is) that the Quebec government is absolutely not on the verge of committing a mass genocide. Accusations like that will only make people go on the defensive and are an obstacle to dialogue. We’ll get nowhere, still be mad and frustrated, and continue the cycle for even longer.
It may sometimes look like this debate will never end, like francophones and anglophones are destined to forever disagree when it comes to language, but in the end, nothing is eternal. I’m sure we’ll get somewhere one day, even if that day is years away.
Anyway, that’ll be it for part 1! Stay tuned for part 2, where we’ll take a look at the different language laws that were once in place in other provinces: Ontario, Manitoba, British-Columbia, even the territories had some! I’ll also do my best to write about the current language laws in the other provinces and compare the situation of Franco-Albertans and Fransaskois (for example) with the situation of anglophones in Québec.
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Sources:
- Wikipédia (https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charte_de_la_langue_fran%C3%A7aise) for most of my information (the site is well-organized and I mostly followed their organization)
- OQLF website (https://www.oqlf.gouv.qc.ca/charte/changementslegislatifs/?gclid=CjwKCAjwrpOiBhBVEiwA_473dKae6mSlJbQPGLgRox_ACQLIs3VDA263wB5RiIMCgE4ubyVlAUOTchoCnZUQAvD_BwE) mostly concerns labour laws
- The Canadian Encyclopedia (https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/farticle/loi-101) bit of history and legal obstacles

Hello loves!
So this post is long & has nothing to do with the consumption of sweet sweet marijuana, but this thread has such inclusive & thoughtful members and ya girl needs help. I work in an office of about 8 women, and I work directly under this white woman we’ll call T. Today at work one of our clients no-showed for their appointment, and they happen to be a black family. Afterwards, T went off on a tangent while I was in her office and it was one of the most inconsiderate things I’ve ever heard. Having never met these people, she called them ghetto, “hood trash”, and a handful of other offensive things. I think she saw something in my face, because she backed off and started saying “don’t get offended!” (the client has another appointment scheduled for next week ((not entirely sure why) so I really just said “well we’ll see if they show up next week I guess.” And walked away as I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I recognize that I didn’t handle it the best, but I definitely don’t want T thinking she’s got an ally in me when it comes to bigotry. I wasn’t really encouraged to speak up for myself, so I’m trying to learn. How would you all approach the conversation? Is it “worth” bringing it back up on Monday now that we’ve left the office for the weekend? What is a “good” way to respond when coworkers are saying blatantly racist things like that? I also work directly under her, so I’m worried she will make my life hell if I confront her?
Any feedback is appreciated!

Saturday:
Durham Craft Market - Saturday 08:00 AM @ Durham Central Park - Durham
The Raleigh Market - For the thrill of the hunt! - Saturday 09:00 AM @ N. C. State Fairgrounds - Raleigh
Shop & Play Saturday at Phillips Farms of Cary: Kids' Summer Kick-Off with NC Eat & Play - Saturday 09:00 AM @ Phillips Farms of Cary - Cary
FREE HIIT class @ Crabtree Valley Mall w/ Princess from Fit Factory! - Saturday 09:00 AM @ Fabletics Crabtree Valley Mall - Raleigh
West Point Park Tours (4 start times) - Saturday 10:00 AM @ West Point on the Eno - Durham
Spring Kiln Opening at Mark Hewitt Pottery - Saturday 10:00 AM @ Hewitt Pottery - Pittsboro
Saturday Slowdown at RambleRill Farm in Hillsborough: shop at farmers' market, meet goats, have a picnic - Saturday 10:00 AM @ RambleRill Farm - Hillsborough
Summer Sol - Vinyasa Flow w/ Live Sound Journey & Zero Proof Cocktails - Saturday 10:00 AM @ Raleigh Rose Garden - Raleigh
1st Annual International Children's Day at the City of Raleigh Museum - Saturday 10:00 AM @ City of Raleigh Museum - Raleigh
Ever After: Fairytales, Food & Flowers - Saturday 10:00 AM @ Fred Fletcher Park - Raleigh
"Cultural Infusions": An Art Collective Art Exhibition - Saturday 10:00 AM @ Triangle Cultural Art Gallery - Raleigh
Open Farm Visit to Sunrise Community Farm - Saturday 10:00 AM @ Sunrise Community Farm Center - Chapel Hill
The Original Downtown Raleigh Murals and Public Art Tour - Saturday 10:30 AM @ 300 S Salisbury St - Raleigh
Yoga at Hi-Wire Brewing - Saturday 11:00 AM @ Hi-Wire Brewing at Golden Belt - Durham
Historic Raleigh Trolley Tours (1-hour long; 4 start times) - Saturday 11:00 AM @ Mordecai Historic Park - Raleigh
Wilson Pride Market - Saturday 11:00 AM @ Fayetteville Street - Raleigh
Flight Day at Dix Park - Saturday 11:00 AM @ Dorothea Dix Park, Big Field - Raleigh
The Market at NCMA - Saturday 11:00 AM @ North Carolina Museum of Art - Raleigh
Flight Day at Dorothea Dix Park - Saturday 11:00 AM@ Dorothea Dix Park — Big Field - Raleigh
FlushFest -- West Hillsborough's Homemade Music and Film Festival (admission by donation) - Saturday 12:00 PM @ 711 Eno Street, West Hillsborough - Hillsborough
flART Market - Saturday 12:00 PM @ ArtPost - Durham
Record Show - Saturday 12:00 PM @ Durty Bull Brewing Company - Durham
Art-n-Soul Market - Saturday 12:00 PM@ Waverly Place - Cary
Art-n-Soul Market @ Mystic Farm & Distillery - Saturday 12:00 PM @ Mystic Farm & Distillery - Durham
Rescheduled: Bond Brothers' Mid-Town Square Spring Festival - Saturday 12:00 PM @ Bond Brothers Beer Company - Cary
Raleigh's International Food Festival - Saturday 12:00 PM @ City Plaza - Raleigh
53rd Annual Bimbé Cultural Arts Festival - Saturday 1:00 PM @ Rock Quarry Park - Durham
Doughnuts with Dads at Book Harvest - Saturday 1:00 PM @ Durham Bulls Athletic Park - Durham
Live music - Saturday 2:00 PM @ Gizmo Brew Works - Raleigh
Away Home - Workshop Offering (part of NC State's TheatreFEST) - Saturday 2:00 PM @ Thompson Hall (NC State) - Raleigh
The Carrboro Really Really Free Market - Saturday 2:00 PM @ Carrboro Town Commons - Carrboro
Live music: The Stagger Brothers - Saturday 2:00 PM@ Carolina Brewery - Pittsboro
The ComedyWorx Show Matinee - Saturday 3:00 PM @ ComedyWorx - Raleigh
19th Annual Beaver Queen Pageant - Saturday 3:00 PM @ Duke Park - Durham
Saturdays in Saxapahaw Outdoor Concert Series - Saturday 3:00 PM @ Saxapahaw Post Office - Saxapahaw
Jazz + Art Market - Saturday 3:00 PM@ Artmosphere Community Arts Center - Clayton
Summertime Beer Fest - Saturday 3:00 PM @ Clouds Brewing Tap Room - Raleigh
Live music - Saturday 6:00 PM @ Gizmo Brew Works - Raleigh
The ComedyWorx Show - Saturday 6:00 PM@ ComedyWorx - Raleigh
Music at Mill Bridge - Saturday 6:00 PM @ Mill Bridge Nature Park Amphitheatre - Wake Forest
Music on Main - Saturday 6:00 PM @ The Streets at Southpoint - Durham
Live music: Maverick Rose - Saturday 6:30 PM @ Southern Peak Brewery - Apex
1st Annual Bad Prom For A Good Cause - Saturday 7:00 PM @ Tobacco Road Sports Cafe & Brewery - Raleigh
Metropolitan Community Church - Saturday 7:00 PM @ St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church -
Live music: LowderStill - Saturday 7:00 PM @ Nickelpoint Brewing Co. - Raleigh
Pride Dance Party at Gizmo Brew Works - Saturday 7:00 PM @ Gizmo Brew Works - Chapel Hill
Live Music - Saturday 7:00 @ 20 West Franklin Street Plaza - Chapel Hill
Live music: Thomas Hinds - Saturday 7:30 PM @ Oaklyn Springs Brewery - Fuquay-Varina
Glitter Hour: Amateur Drag and Queer Stage Show - Saturday 8:00 PM @ Ruby Deluxe - Raleigh
Summer F.L.I.N.G. Game Night - Saturday 8:00 PM @ 93 Rock Quarry Rd - Raleigh
Afrobeats, HipHop, Dancehall - Saturday Nights (1st Saturday of Each Month) - Saturday 10:00 PM @ Nafkot Lounge - Raleigh
Social Club: Saturday Night Social - Saturday 10:00 PM @ Social Club - Raleigh
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Sunday:
The Raleigh Market - Sunday 09:00 AM @ Raleigh Market (at N.C. State Fairgrounds) - Raleigh
Free Pop-Up Yoga in Wake Forest with SoulFULLY YOURS - Sunday 09:30 AM @ Horseshoe Farm Nature Preserve - Wake Forest
A Place at the Table's "pay what you can" food truck rodeo - Sunday 11:00 AM @ A Place at the Table - Raleigh
Board Game Sundays - Sunday 12:00 PM @ Gizmo Brew Works - Durham
Spring Kiln Opening at Mark Hewitt Pottery - Sunday 12:00 PM @ Hewitt Pottery - Pittsboro
Black Farmers' Market - Sunday 1:00 PM @ Southeast Raleigh YMCA - Raleigh
Community Build Day for Durham Art Parade: Art on a Stick - Sunday 1:00 PM @ The Scrap Exchange - Durham
Youth Aviation Academy Program at John Chavis Memorial Park - Sunday 1:00 PM @ John Chavis Memorial Park - Raleigh
Historic Raleigh Trolley Pride Ride (3 start times) - Sunday 1:00 PM @ Mordecai Historic Park - Raleigh
Durham Really Really Free Market - Sunday 2:00 PM @ Lyon Park - Durham
Open Mic Hosted by Michael Brennan - Sunday 2:00 PM @ BMC Brewing - Pittsboro
Durham City of Medicine Walking Tour (pay what you want) - Sunday 2:00 PM @ Raleigh Convention Center - Raleigh
Live music: Gypsy Railroad Band - Sunday 2:00 @ Nickelpoint Brewing Co. - Raleigh
Historic Houses on the Move - Sunday 2:00 @ Bombshell Beer Company - Holly Springs
Beer, Bacon, and Bluegrass - Sunday 3:00 PM @ Oaklyn Springs Brewery - Fuquay-Varina
Open-Mic Night - Sunday 3:00 PM @ Gizmo Brew Works - Raleigh
"Pay What You Can" for tickets to Corpus Christi by Terrence McNally, presented by St. John's Six Sundays in Spring concert: Sensory Expressions - Sunday 3:30 @ E. Carroll Joyner Park - Wake Forest
Indoor Yoga at the Chapel at Dix Park - Sunday 3:30 @ Dorothea Dix Park - Raleigh
Freeman Round House Summer Event Series: Karaoke with Mia Harris - Sunday 6:00 PM @ Vollis Simpson Whirligig Park - Wilson
Sunday Salsa Social -- lesson and dance - Sunday 6:30 PM @ Triangle Dance Studios - Durham
Sunday Night Live Music - Sunday 7:00 PM @ Southern Village - Chapel Hill
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MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of various forms of abuse including SA, mention of suicide in some detail, mention of death
PREFACE
I understand this is the internet and I cannot expect people to have grace or mercy on me for any of this. All I can do is ask that if you’re going to give me your input, that you try and be as kind as possible. My heart is hurting and I really don’t feel I am in a place to hear that I need to entirely -drop- this therapist right now. My background of abuse and trauma will hopefully explain why that is, but I am not ready to let go. I am mostly posting this to vent, but also hoping that if anyone does have any advice that could help me even just in the short term with coping, that it will be gently shared.
BACKGROUND
I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible but there’s a whole lot of history here. I am 27F, and I grew up in an unimaginably abusive home. Sex trafficking, severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from my father and my older brother (very patriarchal family), and a slew of very complicated and scary health issues including a liver disease and cancer. My family set me up to never be able to move out or live independently because they genuinely have viewed me to be their property. The severity of this can hopefully be summed up in just a few example:
Was never allowed to even get myself a glass of water in the kitchen or learn to cook Was not potty trained and had to rely on my mom to go to the bathroom into my teenage years Drinking only from sippy cups until teenage years Location monitored on my phone Every credit card transaction / finance watched closely Could not move away from college
My brother was allowed and able to do all these things, but I was not. My entire life, teachers and “adults” that were supposed to catch these things did not even bat an eye. They instead placed me in remedial classes and ESL assuming that I just had a learning disability or a language barrier (which I do not). When I told teachers in the past about my abuse, it was handled extremely poorly and no authorities ever got involved. My life felt worthless; meaningless. Like I could scream from the rooftops of my school that I was being abused and no one cared.
This past January, I did the unthinkable. I left my family and got my own apartment. Friends, therapists, coworkers, everyone who remotely knew me has been pushing me to do this for years and I genuinely thought I would die in my situation. I developed severe Stockholm syndrome so a huge part of my lack of leaving was due to my own internal thought patterns. I did it through the help of my current therapist, which is my… fourth? therapist that’s attempted to help. The last ones took advantage of how naive I was and hurt me (one of them has been arrested). This therapist, however, invested everything to get me out. He really wanted to see me free. And I am forever grateful for him.
MY CURRENT THERAPIST & BACKSTORY
I started seeing this therapist early in 2022 when I was still living with my family. I became severely bedridden and could not even go to the bathroom without my mom or dad escorting me. My anxiety and panic were at an all time high. I was on a leave of absence from work, and this therapist was the only reason I had for HAVING to get out of bed and forcing myself to drive, and most days I couldn’t even do that. He was patient, compassionate, and was willing to go to great lengths to help. Though mostly irrelevant, he’s 45M. He got into school for counseling later in life so when I started seeing him, he was just an intern under the director of the practice. At the time, the director of the practice was seeing an old time friend of mine (who happened to recently become my coworker). My friend had gotten concerned about why I wasn’t showing up to work and why I was struggling so much. I didn’t want to open up to her about it because I couldn’t open up to anyone at the time. However, my friend asked the director of the place if she knew anything about me. The director broke into my therapist’s file under the guise of “he is my intern, I can look at his stuff” and then relayed all of that information to my friend. It became an entire case against the state board and I fought tooth and nail to get that director in trouble. In the end, nothing was done and in retaliation, the director fired my therapist and I had to wait until my therapist found a new job in order to see him (he was pre-graduation by just a few weeks so he couldn’t ethically talk to me until he had another practice). During the worst moments of my life, I was without my therapist (no fault of his, and he checked on me frequently), but it was really only for a few weeks. To me that was a lot since I had been going 2-3 times a week, sometimes 4 because of my situation.
THE CRYSTAL AND THE SAGE
My therapist had gone out of town briefly and came back with a crystal he got. He told me when he purchased it he knew he wanted to give it to someone. And he said that it made him think of me and he wants me to have it. He said he wants it to be a reminder that he cares and others care and that it represents my truth to hold close. Months later, he went on another trip and said he got sage that someone gave him that was super special and he wanted me to have it. He was very invested in making sure I felt like he cares and has my back. I was never into spirituality in the same way as him so I respectfully accepted his kindness but kind of scoffed at him. It became more of a joke.
HOW MY BROTHER AND MY THERAPIST STARTED TEXTING
The director of the previous practice had tried to harass me with a fake number, as well as to my therapist. She wanted to try and get us to drop the case, I guess? When I continued to get texts from fake numbers, my therapist asked me to give him the number that was blowing up my phone. It turns out, timing was absolutely terrible. My brother (who moved out of state) was the one who started harassing me. My parents/brother allowed me to go to therapy to “work on my panic attacks” but they began hating the fact that my therapist was helping me become independent. My brother was outraged and texted me anonymously to kill myself. Because I still thought at the time that it was the director of the place, I went ahead and shared the number with my therapist. And that’s how it all began.
THE VIDEO THREATS FROM MY THERAPIST
Things got out of hand over the months. My therapist felt extremely protective of me and a “savior complex” kicked in. The reasoning for this is worth noting / important. My therapist lost his sister to suicide when they were young, and he also lost his father shortly after. His sister apparently had also been assaulted and my therapist had mentioned to me before how he views me as a friend, someone to protect, like a sister. He admitted his struggle with transference and said his main and only concern was to get me to move out of my family’s house. To take a leap of faith. He was desperate to do that. He offered to help me get an apartment near him so he could help me out, he offered to babysit my dog for me (my golden retriever is my emotional support animal that my parents have used as a bargaining chip), he offered to see me in therapy 5 times a week if I just moved. I just wasn’t ready. But my brother would not relent.
My therapist still does not know that I know this, but my brother showed me some of the videos my therapist sent him. Three separate threatening videos. In them, my therapist was shirtless with a ski mask on saying he was part of the FBI and that if my brother didn’t behave himself, that he would have his people come after him. My brother said that I was threatening him and that if I didn’t get this man to stop, it would be trouble. My therapist got extremely activated and decided to take it as a challenge.
My therapist also at some points asked my brother “how to assault me” because he wanted to know what my brother did/wanted him to admit it. But if an outsider saw the texts, it would seem like my therapist was asking to participate in assaulting me. It looked HORRIBLY incriminating.
THE MOVE OUT
I got the courage one night. Drove my dog over to my therapist’s house and moved in with a friend while I apartment hunted. My therapist was incredibly proud of me and poured so much love and care into my dog. I truly felt hopeful and optimistic and I eventually applied for my own apartment and got approved. Because of severe Stockholm syndrome and lack of knowing how to do ANYTHING, I would end up visiting home (somehow, they allowed that and I did not die!)
THE ASSAULT
Long story short (I am not super comfortable going into this part), people from the temple I was sex trafficked in (linked with my family), showed up and assaulted me at gun point in a van. I told my therapist. He was extremely upset on my behalf and called the police. He told me it was essential that I get restraining orders and that I stop going over to my parents house even if I have Stockholm syndrome. He said he could no longer be patient on that because I was actively being attacked. I told him I was still too nervous to go no contact and I could tell he was frustrated with me.
WHEN MY THERAPIST SECRETLY SAT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT
My brother / someone from the temple decided to start things up once he figured out the person he was texting earlier was in fact my therapist. He threatened my therapist and challenged him to meet up. My brother was bluffing but my therapist took it seriously. My therapist arranged to meet him outside my apartment at 9pm that night. I had a weird gut feeling so I texted my therapist that night and asked him not to do anything stupid, but I had no idea what he had up his sleeve. Without telling me, my therapist sat outside my apartment waiting for my brother (who never showed) to meet him. Why my therapist chose to meet him RIGHT OUTSIDE my new residence was extremely irresponsible.
I went to take my dog out to the bathroom that night and my friend and I were hanging out. She noticed a dark car with someone sitting and staring with a mask on. We walked closer and it was my therapist. I yelled at him because I was so worried he would’ve gotten shot or attacked and that he would get hurt as a result of trying to fight. My therapist apologized and was so embarrassed. He awkwardly said “you weren’t supposed to know about this…” and drove off full force. We hopped in my friends car and followed him to wherever he tried to run off to. He then promised me he would leave. About 20 mins later, my friend and I decide to go out to get food and we see him sitting in another part of my apartment complex still ready to fight. I was so upset that he lied to me multiple times and that he was risking his life. What would’ve happened if he got attacked? But my therapist apologized again and said “I just need to look him in the eye” implying he was ready to kill.
THE DREAMS ABOUT MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER
As my therapist had told me, his sister had passed away from suicide when they were young. He admitted to have transference in a way where he viewed me in a sisterly way. For a while, I continually had dreams about his sister and it was very weird. I told him I don’t believe in a lot of things like crystals or burning sage but that these dreams felt incredibly vivid. In the dreams, her sister was assuring me that my therapist was sent in my life to be the brother I couldn’t have. That he was sent to me as a brother, and I to him as a sister.
THE HOSPITAL
Just within the span of days after he showed up to my apartment, I was hospitalized due to complications with my liver, and I reached out to my family for help. My therapist was upset with me for interacting with my family at all. My therapist even visited me in the hospital and said that I don’t need to call my family for help and that I have him and my other friends who will have my back. After I was discharged from the hospital, I asked my therapist if I could take my dog back for at least a weekend (he took my dog in while I went to the hospital in order to help me. He said he would hang onto him while I recovered and caught up on rest). So when he gave me my dog for the weekend, out of guilt, I took my dog with me to visit my family. I just felt the need to run back. My dad manipulated me a lot about missing my dog so I felt obligated.
MY THERAPIST’S FRUSTRATION
I admitted to my therapist that I had taken my dog to my parents for the weekend (after I already gave him my dog back). My therapist was so upset about it. He had put so much love and time into my dog and helping me, and then I took him back to the hands of my abusers. This is when him pulling back began. He felt like he was doing all of this extraneous stuff for me and I was just taking steps back.
THE SUICIDE METHOD
As he got over his frustration a little bit, I became very suicidal to the point where I purchased a rope and planned it out. I made him the beneficiary of my bank accounts as a thank you to him for everything. He told me he would do what he could to help me. He said I could bring my dog back to him if I just need a life break. He didn’t know I had the rope but he knew I was thinking suicide. When I went back to drop my dog off, I admitted I had a rope. I gave it to him. He realized I was genuinely going to kill myself and was so grateful I told him the truth. He told me he would be there for me to help me through it. Showed me grace and compassion and everything.
THE MAJOR PULLBACK
No warning. No indication. My therapist immediately pulled back. Hard. He told me to call him later that week (I usually have therapy 3x a week but he was out of town), and so I did as he said and called him to update him. He immediately flipped out. “Ugh, I cannot be in anything extra to your therapy space. I am going through things on my own and I need to pull back. I can’t take calls any hour of the day anymore. I can’t take your dog. You don’t even listen to me anyway. You do what you want and go to your parents. So, I don’t know what to say. I am committed to you as your therapist but that’s it. If you feel suicidal outside of that, go to a hospital and get sedated.” I was absolutely crushed and felt so awful and guilty like I did something wrong. I didn’t want to bother him. I didn’t want to lose him. He made me feel loved and cared for (platonically, as a brother) and I felt so safe with him. Until this moment. He was very hung up on the fact that I kept going home to my family despite his efforts.
After calming down he explained how he feels like he needs to step back because his emotions shouldn’t affect my therapy and that he’s doing it to help me. But it felt very selfish. He over exerted himself by showing up to my apartment and sending threatening videos when I never asked for it, all because HE wanted to. And now he pulls back because HE wants to. None of his decisions were based on what I would feel, but what would best serve him.
THE RELAPSE AND THE DREAMS
Because my therapist stepped back so hard, I relapsed and said “screw it” / went back to my parents. I still had my apartment but I backslid majorly.
During this time I was so distraught. This therapist made me feel supported. And no, I didn’t attach onto him in an unhealthy way where he became my only hope. But he did feel like the brother I wished I had, and he felt like such a deep and important part of my life and I was devastated.
I started having dreams again about his sister and I cried. I felt like I was given this gift and then it was taken away.
THE BACK AND FORTH
My therapist began telling me that he thinks I should have additional support in this season especially while he “takes a break from extraneous stuff” with me. He said when he was younger and going through things, he had two therapists.
A week later I told him I found a second therapist and he said: “ummm I don’t know. I feel protective over that. Maybe don’t get a second one. Find a support group but I don’t want you seeing another one.”
I stood my ground and said I might still find one and he said “well then make sure the other one is a woman and is closely in touch with me.”
It felt very wishy washy and he did a lot of similar things like this for a while.
But when I listened to him and decided against a second therapist, he pulled back again. He said he wouldn’t take any more texts or calls outside of session once again and made me feel like an obsessed freak when I wasn’t even really doing much at all. Or asking for anything.
VISITING MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER’S GRAVE
My therapist is a famous author and singesong writer. Online, it’s very easy to find his sister’s name and I did some digging and found out where her grave is located. I was feeling really awful, like I was grieving the loss myself which is so incredibly psychotic. I know. But it more so felt like I was grieving the loss of this brotherly love I once felt from my therapist. But it’s been a couple months at this point and he still refuses to take texts or calls, and is very argumentative and angry in sessions. And I just wanted to take some flowers to the grave in private, not tell him, and just accept that he can’t be what I needed him to be for me.
MY FAMILY FINDS OUT
When I went to the cemetery, the place was huge. So I had to go into the office and ask for the location of his sister’s grave. They gave me a piece of paper with her name and grave location on it and I eventually just threw it in my wallet. My dad stumbled upon my wallet while I was at home one of the days and noticed the last name and asked me if I was still seeing my therapist. They don’t like him for obvious reasons. But I admitted to my parents that I do still see my therapist and that he’s more like family than they’d ever be. They abused me. But I stood in my truth. At the end of the day I will not deny that my therapist DID help me immensely and if that means I have to be abused for the truth, I’ll do it.
MY THERAPIST INSISTS ON INFORMATION
He knew that I was hiding something. I told him my family was abusive again but I didn’t say why. He spent an entire session saying he needs to know what happened. I said no multiple times and that I didn’t want to talk about it. He used language like “you have to tell me before you leave my office” and “if you care so much about me you’ll tell me.” He even told me he was going to take my hand and promise me that he won’t react. He held it and looked me in the eye and promised he’d meet me with compassion. I refused. He then asked me if I’ve been lying to him. Deceptive. It broke me and I felt like it was just such an insult. But I stayed strong and he apologized for bothering me about it.
Last week comes around and it feels like such a hindrance. He’s continuing to be short with me and not answer my texts, not taking emergency calls, and just… is continuing to be cold. I even texted him that I was genuinely feeling suicidal and he told me he can’t help me outside of session. Period.
So then after my latest session, I told him I’d text him what happened because I was too uncomfortable to say it. I told him I visited his sister’s grave, about the dreams, everything. I said I felt really hurt at his pullback and how it felt selfish.
He responded by gaslighting me endlessly and it absolutely crushed me furthermore. He responded as follows:
“Ok crystals and dreams? I don’t believe in them. I don’t believe that was my sister. I don’t know how I feel about you visiting her grave. I am not your brother and I can’t be your brother. And yes it was a nice gesture I guess but clearly you are focusing on the wrong thing. Let’s not talk about the weeds and the details. Let’s focus on you.” And completely shut down any further conversation about it.
In the past I have insisted and begged him to process him showing up at my apartment with me because I am still shaken up. He just always says “I never should’ve gotten involved like that but we are NOT going to talk about this ever again” and has always refused to hear how I felt about it.
He went back on vacation this past weekend and refused to take my call when I needed help, refused to text me, or anything. I called off work two days in a row because I was so devastated at his anger toward me and the gaslighting. It felt so unfair. I wanted to talk to him over the weekend because I was genuinely so hurt and felt like I truly lost him. He didn’t care.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
I had an appointment in person tonight. First in person one since I told him about everything. I am embarrassed and feel so guilty that I visited his sister’s grave behind his back. It makes me feel psychotic. But at least I was honest and didn’t wait until I got caught / did not gaslight him.
I have a major surgery tomorrow and he won’t help me with my dog. I’ve gone back to my parents for now until I am recovered.
I want to tell him how hurt I am but I have tried that. He never understands. I miss him. As a brother.
I ended up going to session and he asked me why I feel off in therapy. He literally said “other than me slightly having to pull back right now what have I really done?”
I don’t know if I ever can get him to see my side or my pain in this.
FINAL THOUGHTS / MISC
I was seeing him three times a week and one day he randomly cancelled my third session, and every week after “something came up” that day and he just kept canceling. Eventually he just exploded and said “I DO NOT work that third day anymore.” Without giving me any explanation or time to adjust or heads up. Like he clearly needed a break.
I was in the hospital just now for my surgery and I wanted so badly to reach out to him for support. I couldn’t. My heart hurts knowing that I once had this brotherly love in my life that I had lost.
Even now in session he uses the analogy of “if you were my sister” or “if you were my wife” after knowing I am clearly struggling with accepting he has pulled back. He used to say I am his friend over and over and now he just acts so cold. I know he’s trying to maintain boundaries. I know. But too late. He screwed with my emotions SO much.
I have horrible, horrible OCD and my brain keeps trying to do stupid things to fix this. I also keep asking myself over and over:
1. Will he ever take my dog back if I really needed him to? (obviously I can find other pet sitters but my brain is so hung up on —— if I asked him in an emergency situation, would he refuse?)
2. Will he ever stop ignoring my texts? I’ve reached out to him about being suicidal. About being in a state of panic. Previously, he would call me and stay on the phone with me while I got through an attack. I AM NOT EXPECTING THIS. I do not expect him to be available on demand. But his SUDDEN extreme pull back makes me think that I was the one that did something wrong.
3.Does this mean he emotionally does not care about me and my situation anymore? Did he just turn his emotions off? Did he ever even care? He would make me send him a text every day listing three things I am grateful for as a means to check in. He would also randomly send me quotes from books he was reading that he thought I could relate to. All facilitated by him. All of this has randomly stopped and it makes me feel like he hates me. Is it at all possible that this is a reflection of him not caring?
4.Is his pullback a temporary extreme and will he readjust and go back to being there for me? Or is this a permanent shift, likely? Can I expect things to even out or go back to him investing care and time? Again I KNOW the focus is on me having to do that for myself. I know I CAN move on from this if needed but I really, really began to love him (PLATONICALLY like family) and having him around. It breaks me so much. It was so important to me to have him.
I have been taking major time off of work and from seeing friend or leaving my house. I have completely self isolated. Refused medical treatment against doctor’s advice. Risked my job by calling off so much. Taking a leave of absence. Become bedridden. I know it sounds like I’ve become obsessed with fixing this situation and that seems psychotic and sad. But given my history with everything I have been through, this therapist had given me hope to feel like someone had my back. Losing him feels like a major major loss that’s soul crushing. Yes I have other people and no he cannot be my focus. But this is how I feel and I cannot help it. I do not want to be shamed for it. It just freaking hurts.
Again I know the majority of people will want to come at my therapist or me for doing wrong things. I know it doesn’t seem like this, but he really isn’t intentionally manipulative or gaslight-y, he’s just trying to regulate himself.
I have grace for him. And for myself. So please, please try and respond with compassion. I don’t want to lose him. But I feel like I kind of am.
What are your overall thoughts, in the most gentle way possible? Was I wrong for telling him the truth about the grave?

We live in a rural city (within the city limits) about an hour south of St. Louis. Our neighbors own a house that shares a property line with the back of our lot along our east property line. They also own an undeveloped (just a portable shed, a carport used as a storage shed, a small garden and a couple pecan trees) lot that borders our lot on our street along our north property line.
When we bought our house in 2016 they didn't own the empty lot and our north property line has a chain link fence directly on the line. Last year they put up a chain link fence set back from the west side of the lot, which would be our street side, running north-south and the south termination of their fence ends touching our fence. They have access to the lot from our street as well as from the lot their house is on at their house's lot northwest corner and the empty lot southeast corner. Our lot is mostly rectangular except for a small postage stamp notch in our northeast corner which gives them about a 8' wide path connecting their property corners.
I could draw this out for a better visual if it helps, but the way I read the posting rules it might not be allowed because of links.
We have a history with this neighbor because they had a soft maple tree that ruined the roof on our detached garage and we had to tear it down, but not before they cut the tree down and felled it into our backyard. We didn't make a fuss about it because we didn't really have any problems with them before this and in hindsight we were being naive. After they felled the tree, they called the city about our bad roof, which we received a letter for a dilapidated structure that was visible from the street. The picture they sent us was taken from their driveway of their house lot (there's about a 20' gap between houses on that street that you could see the corner of our garage). We feel that they did this intentionally so they could build a garage. After we tore our garage down they built a garage about 2 feet off our east property line, which the construction crew couldn't have otherwise gotten to that side to build it if our garage had been there.
Last year they also sprayed weedkiller on all the morning glories on our fence, which the over spray killed the grass and our side of the fence. We had contacted the code enforcement officer about it and he said we should just have a chat with the neighbor and try to resolve it, so we talked to them about it as we don't use herbicides because my wife lost her father due to Roundup related illness. The neighbor said she sprayed them because she was trying to get rid of the weeds and thought she was doing us a favor. Regardless of whether or not aorning glories are weeds, we liked them and wanted them there.
The current issue: After the put up that section of fence, it effectively enclosed their lot because it ran from the south line of neighbor on the north side of the lot to the north line of our lot. The north neighbors have a fence, too. So they have now been letting their dog loose in that enclosure for long amounts of time on most days. The problem is that dog seems to have separation anxiety and is also reactive to the point that if we take our dogs out to potty (always on a leash) that their dog will come running up to the fence barking and growling which makes our dogs scared to go out. Now we don't have an issue with a dog being outside because we'd like to have our dogs outside too but at this point we can't because their dog is so anxious and aggressive.
Part of me wants to take down the fence because we always have our dogs on leashes and this would force them to keep their dog in better control. Then I could put up a privacy fence set back from the line. City suggests new fences be constructed at least 1 foot back from the line for maintenance, but it's not in the building code. Wife is afraid they'll put up a fence on the property line and take some of our property when they do it. I called the code enforcement officer again and asked about our options. Someone was filling in for him because he was on vacation, but that guy said many people in town share fences and sort of sounded like he didn't want to deal with it. He also suggested we tell them we're planning on building a privacy fence and offer to sell them our old fence instead of pulling it up, to offset our cost of removing and replacing.
Would I have any liability for removing the chain link itself and leaving the posts until I can put up a privacy fence? I also saw a way to convert chain link to privacy by strapping privacy panels to the fence but I would have to get on their property to install them.
The end result I want is to be able to let my dogs (and kid) run around in the backyard without fear of their dog harassing them.
Thank you for your time and suggestions!

Hello, this is my first time posting to AskDocs, so apologies if this isnt all proper.
I am male (sex and gender), 32, and weight approximately 245 pounds. I do not take any medications daily, nor any vitamins or supplements. I donate plasma twice per week, and have for the better part of 3.5 years. I also work from home, in an IT job, so I'm sitting at a desk most of my weekdays (I do, however, get up fairly frequently to take my dogs out, make food, do some chores, etc.). I also walk my larger dog approximately 1.5-2 miles daily (2-3 separate walks).
About 2 or 3 months ago, I noticed what seem to be like varicose veins on my left leg (inner), just by the knee. My mother had varicose veins in the past, so I knew what that looks like (but I'm not sure if that's something men and women can have, or just women). It didn't seem to be painful or any different than any other part of my leg except for visually, so I left it alone. However, my wife recently noticed it and it seemed like the color was deeper and maybe it was a bit more widespread than before. There is one small area that seems to be a bit raised (maybe 1/4 of an inch or less) and that specific spot is slightly warmer than the rest of my leg, but not extremely hot to the touch (and I've noticed no redness, only the bluish tint). I will post a photo in a comment, since I don't have an Imgur account.
I called my PCP's office today and scheduled an appointment with him, but the earliest I could get in was the 14th (due to my wife's and my schedules and us only having one car). The scheduler on the phone said to keep an eye on it, since it could be a blood clot... and now I've searched up images and things online (never good, I know), and my wife is freaking out a bit since she overheard (she has diagnosed OCD and anxiety, so this is now a feaanxious fixation/obsession). I'm mainly curious if I should possibly have this looked at by an ED doctor rather than waiting 12 more days to get into my PCP (even though 12 days compared to 2-3 months isn't much).

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of various forms of abuse including SA, mention of suicide in some detail, mention of death
PREFACE
I understand this is the internet and I cannot expect people to have grace or mercy on me for any of this. All I can do is ask that if you’re going to give me your input, that you try and be as kind as possible. My heart is hurting and I really don’t feel I am in a place to hear that I need to entirely -drop- this therapist right now. My background of abuse and trauma will hopefully explain why that is, but I am not ready to let go. I am mostly posting this to vent, but also hoping that if anyone does have any advice that could help me even just in the short term with coping, that it will be gently shared.
BACKGROUND
I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible but there’s a whole lot of history here. I am 27F, and I grew up in an unimaginably abusive home. Sex trafficking, severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from my father and my older brother (very patriarchal family), and a slew of very complicated and scary health issues including a liver disease and cancer. My family set me up to never be able to move out or live independently because they genuinely have viewed me to be their property. The severity of this can hopefully be summed up in just a few example:
Was never allowed to even get myself a glass of water in the kitchen or learn to cook Was not potty trained and had to rely on my mom to go to the bathroom into my teenage years Drinking only from sippy cups until teenage years Location monitored on my phone Every credit card transaction / finance watched closely Could not move away from college
My brother was allowed and able to do all these things, but I was not. My entire life, teachers and “adults” that were supposed to catch these things did not even bat an eye. They instead placed me in remedial classes and ESL assuming that I just had a learning disability or a language barrier (which I do not). When I told teachers in the past about my abuse, it was handled extremely poorly and no authorities ever got involved. My life felt worthless; meaningless. Like I could scream from the rooftops of my school that I was being abused and no one cared.
This past January, I did the unthinkable. I left my family and got my own apartment. Friends, therapists, coworkers, everyone who remotely knew me has been pushing me to do this for years and I genuinely thought I would die in my situation. I developed severe Stockholm syndrome so a huge part of my lack of leaving was due to my own internal thought patterns. I did it through the help of my current therapist, which is my… fourth? therapist that’s attempted to help. The last ones took advantage of how naive I was and hurt me (one of them has been arrested). This therapist, however, invested everything to get me out. He really wanted to see me free. And I am forever grateful for him.
MY CURRENT THERAPIST & BACKSTORY
I started seeing this therapist early in 2022 when I was still living with my family. I became severely bedridden and could not even go to the bathroom without my mom or dad escorting me. My anxiety and panic were at an all time high. I was on a leave of absence from work, and this therapist was the only reason I had for HAVING to get out of bed and forcing myself to drive, and most days I couldn’t even do that. He was patient, compassionate, and was willing to go to great lengths to help. Though mostly irrelevant, he’s 45M. He got into school for counseling later in life so when I started seeing him, he was just an intern under the director of the practice. At the time, the director of the practice was seeing an old time friend of mine (who happened to recently become my coworker). My friend had gotten concerned about why I wasn’t showing up to work and why I was struggling so much. I didn’t want to open up to her about it because I couldn’t open up to anyone at the time. However, my friend asked the director of the place if she knew anything about me. The director broke into my therapist’s file under the guise of “he is my intern, I can look at his stuff” and then relayed all of that information to my friend. It became an entire case against the state board and I fought tooth and nail to get that director in trouble. In the end, nothing was done and in retaliation, the director fired my therapist and I had to wait until my therapist found a new job in order to see him (he was pre-graduation by just a few weeks so he couldn’t ethically talk to me until he had another practice). During the worst moments of my life, I was without my therapist (no fault of his, and he checked on me frequently), but it was really only for a few weeks. To me that was a lot since I had been going 2-3 times a week, sometimes 4 because of my situation.
THE CRYSTAL AND THE SAGE
My therapist had gone out of town briefly and came back with a crystal he got. He told me when he purchased it he knew he wanted to give it to someone. And he said that it made him think of me and he wants me to have it. He said he wants it to be a reminder that he cares and others care and that it represents my truth to hold close. Months later, he went on another trip and said he got sage that someone gave him that was super special and he wanted me to have it. He was very invested in making sure I felt like he cares and has my back. I was never into spirituality in the same way as him so I respectfully accepted his kindness but kind of scoffed at him. It became more of a joke.
HOW MY BROTHER AND MY THERAPIST STARTED TEXTING
The director of the previous practice had tried to harass me with a fake number, as well as to my therapist. She wanted to try and get us to drop the case, I guess? When I continued to get texts from fake numbers, my therapist asked me to give him the number that was blowing up my phone. It turns out, timing was absolutely terrible. My brother (who moved out of state) was the one who started harassing me. My parents/brother allowed me to go to therapy to “work on my panic attacks” but they began hating the fact that my therapist was helping me become independent. My brother was outraged and texted me anonymously to kill myself. Because I still thought at the time that it was the director of the place, I went ahead and shared the number with my therapist. And that’s how it all began.
THE VIDEO THREATS FROM MY THERAPIST
Things got out of hand over the months. My therapist felt extremely protective of me and a “savior complex” kicked in. The reasoning for this is worth noting / important. My therapist lost his sister to suicide when they were young, and he also lost his father shortly after. His sister apparently had also been assaulted and my therapist had mentioned to me before how he views me as a friend, someone to protect, like a sister. He admitted his struggle with transference and said his main and only concern was to get me to move out of my family’s house. To take a leap of faith. He was desperate to do that. He offered to help me get an apartment near him so he could help me out, he offered to babysit my dog for me (my golden retriever is my emotional support animal that my parents have used as a bargaining chip), he offered to see me in therapy 5 times a week if I just moved. I just wasn’t ready. But my brother would not relent.
My therapist still does not know that I know this, but my brother showed me some of the videos my therapist sent him. Three separate threatening videos. In them, my therapist was shirtless with a ski mask on saying he was part of the FBI and that if my brother didn’t behave himself, that he would have his people come after him. My brother said that I was threatening him and that if I didn’t get this man to stop, it would be trouble. My therapist got extremely activated and decided to take it as a challenge.
My therapist also at some points asked my brother “how to assault me” because he wanted to know what my brother did/wanted him to admit it. But if an outsider saw the texts, it would seem like my therapist was asking to participate in assaulting me. It looked HORRIBLY incriminating.
THE MOVE OUT
I got the courage one night. Drove my dog over to my therapist’s house and moved in with a friend while I apartment hunted. My therapist was incredibly proud of me and poured so much love and care into my dog. I truly felt hopeful and optimistic and I eventually applied for my own apartment and got approved. Because of severe Stockholm syndrome and lack of knowing how to do ANYTHING, I would end up visiting home (somehow, they allowed that and I did not die!)
THE ASSAULT
Long story short (I am not super comfortable going into this part), people from the temple I was sex trafficked in (linked with my family), showed up and assaulted me at gun point in a van. I told my therapist. He was extremely upset on my behalf and called the police. He told me it was essential that I get restraining orders and that I stop going over to my parents house even if I have Stockholm syndrome. He said he could no longer be patient on that because I was actively being attacked. I told him I was still too nervous to go no contact and I could tell he was frustrated with me.
WHEN MY THERAPIST SECRETLY SAT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT
My brother / someone from the temple decided to start things up once he figured out the person he was texting earlier was in fact my therapist. He threatened my therapist and challenged him to meet up. My brother was bluffing but my therapist took it seriously. My therapist arranged to meet him outside my apartment at 9pm that night. I had a weird gut feeling so I texted my therapist that night and asked him not to do anything stupid, but I had no idea what he had up his sleeve. Without telling me, my therapist sat outside my apartment waiting for my brother (who never showed) to meet him. Why my therapist chose to meet him RIGHT OUTSIDE my new residence was extremely irresponsible.
I went to take my dog out to the bathroom that night and my friend and I were hanging out. She noticed a dark car with someone sitting and staring with a mask on. We walked closer and it was my therapist. I yelled at him because I was so worried he would’ve gotten shot or attacked and that he would get hurt as a result of trying to fight. My therapist apologized and was so embarrassed. He awkwardly said “you weren’t supposed to know about this…” and drove off full force. We hopped in my friends car and followed him to wherever he tried to run off to. He then promised me he would leave. About 20 mins later, my friend and I decide to go out to get food and we see him sitting in another part of my apartment complex still ready to fight. I was so upset that he lied to me multiple times and that he was risking his life. What would’ve happened if he got attacked? But my therapist apologized again and said “I just need to look him in the eye” implying he was ready to kill.
THE DREAMS ABOUT MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER
As my therapist had told me, his sister had passed away from suicide when they were young. He admitted to have transference in a way where he viewed me in a sisterly way. For a while, I continually had dreams about his sister and it was very weird. I told him I don’t believe in a lot of things like crystals or burning sage but that these dreams felt incredibly vivid. In the dreams, her sister was assuring me that my therapist was sent in my life to be the brother I couldn’t have. That he was sent to me as a brother, and I to him as a sister.
THE HOSPITAL
Just within the span of days after he showed up to my apartment, I was hospitalized due to complications with my liver, and I reached out to my family for help. My therapist was upset with me for interacting with my family at all. My therapist even visited me in the hospital and said that I don’t need to call my family for help and that I have him and my other friends who will have my back. After I was discharged from the hospital, I asked my therapist if I could take my dog back for at least a weekend (he took my dog in while I went to the hospital in order to help me. He said he would hang onto him while I recovered and caught up on rest). So when he gave me my dog for the weekend, out of guilt, I took my dog with me to visit my family. I just felt the need to run back. My dad manipulated me a lot about missing my dog so I felt obligated.
MY THERAPIST’S FRUSTRATION
I admitted to my therapist that I had taken my dog to my parents for the weekend (after I already gave him my dog back). My therapist was so upset about it. He had put so much love and time into my dog and helping me, and then I took him back to the hands of my abusers. This is when him pulling back began. He felt like he was doing all of this extraneous stuff for me and I was just taking steps back.
THE SUICIDE METHOD
As he got over his frustration a little bit, I became very suicidal to the point where I purchased a rope and planned it out. I made him the beneficiary of my bank accounts as a thank you to him for everything. He told me he would do what he could to help me. He said I could bring my dog back to him if I just need a life break. He didn’t know I had the rope but he knew I was thinking suicide. When I went back to drop my dog off, I admitted I had a rope. I gave it to him. He realized I was genuinely going to kill myself and was so grateful I told him the truth. He told me he would be there for me to help me through it. Showed me grace and compassion and everything.
THE MAJOR PULLBACK
No warning. No indication. My therapist immediately pulled back. Hard. He told me to call him later that week (I usually have therapy 3x a week but he was out of town), and so I did as he said and called him to update him. He immediately flipped out. “Ugh, I cannot be in anything extra to your therapy space. I am going through things on my own and I need to pull back. I can’t take calls any hour of the day anymore. I can’t take your dog. You don’t even listen to me anyway. You do what you want and go to your parents. So, I don’t know what to say. I am committed to you as your therapist but that’s it. If you feel suicidal outside of that, go to a hospital and get sedated.” I was absolutely crushed and felt so awful and guilty like I did something wrong. I didn’t want to bother him. I didn’t want to lose him. He made me feel loved and cared for (platonically, as a brother) and I felt so safe with him. Until this moment. He was very hung up on the fact that I kept going home to my family despite his efforts.
After calming down he explained how he feels like he needs to step back because his emotions shouldn’t affect my therapy and that he’s doing it to help me. But it felt very selfish. He over exerted himself by showing up to my apartment and sending threatening videos when I never asked for it, all because HE wanted to. And now he pulls back because HE wants to. None of his decisions were based on what I would feel, but what would best serve him.
THE RELAPSE AND THE DREAMS
Because my therapist stepped back so hard, I relapsed and said “screw it” / went back to my parents. I still had my apartment but I backslid majorly.
During this time I was so distraught. This therapist made me feel supported. And no, I didn’t attach onto him in an unhealthy way where he became my only hope. But he did feel like the brother I wished I had, and he felt like such a deep and important part of my life and I was devastated.
I started having dreams again about his sister and I cried. I felt like I was given this gift and then it was taken away.
THE BACK AND FORTH
My therapist began telling me that he thinks I should have additional support in this season especially while he “takes a break from extraneous stuff” with me. He said when he was younger and going through things, he had two therapists.
A week later I told him I found a second therapist and he said: “ummm I don’t know. I feel protective over that. Maybe don’t get a second one. Find a support group but I don’t want you seeing another one.”
I stood my ground and said I might still find one and he said “well then make sure the other one is a woman and is closely in touch with me.”
It felt very wishy washy and he did a lot of similar things like this for a while.
But when I listened to him and decided against a second therapist, he pulled back again. He said he wouldn’t take any more texts or calls outside of session once again and made me feel like an obsessed freak when I wasn’t even really doing much at all. Or asking for anything.
VISITING MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER’S GRAVE
My therapist is a famous author and singesong writer. Online, it’s very easy to find his sister’s name and I did some digging and found out where her grave is located. I was feeling really awful, like I was grieving the loss myself which is so incredibly psychotic. I know. But it more so felt like I was grieving the loss of this brotherly love I once felt from my therapist. But it’s been a couple months at this point and he still refuses to take texts or calls, and is very argumentative and angry in sessions. And I just wanted to take some flowers to the grave in private, not tell him, and just accept that he can’t be what I needed him to be for me.
MY FAMILY FINDS OUT
When I went to the cemetery, the place was huge. So I had to go into the office and ask for the location of his sister’s grave. They gave me a piece of paper with her name and grave location on it and I eventually just threw it in my wallet. My dad stumbled upon my wallet while I was at home one of the days and noticed the last name and asked me if I was still seeing my therapist. They don’t like him for obvious reasons. But I admitted to my parents that I do still see my therapist and that he’s more like family than they’d ever be. They abused me. But I stood in my truth. At the end of the day I will not deny that my therapist DID help me immensely and if that means I have to be abused for the truth, I’ll do it.
MY THERAPIST INSISTS ON INFORMATION
He knew that I was hiding something. I told him my family was abusive again but I didn’t say why. He spent an entire session saying he needs to know what happened. I said no multiple times and that I didn’t want to talk about it. He used language like “you have to tell me before you leave my office” and “if you care so much about me you’ll tell me.” He even told me he was going to take my hand and promise me that he won’t react. He held it and looked me in the eye and promised he’d meet me with compassion. I refused. He then asked me if I’ve been lying to him. Deceptive. It broke me and I felt like it was just such an insult. But I stayed strong and he apologized for bothering me about it.
Last week comes around and it feels like such a hindrance. He’s continuing to be short with me and not answer my texts, not taking emergency calls, and just… is continuing to be cold. I even texted him that I was genuinely feeling suicidal and he told me he can’t help me outside of session. Period.
So then after my latest session, I told him I’d text him what happened because I was too uncomfortable to say it. I told him I visited his sister’s grave, about the dreams, everything. I said I felt really hurt at his pullback and how it felt selfish.
He responded by gaslighting me endlessly and it absolutely crushed me furthermore. He responded as follows:
“Ok crystals and dreams? I don’t believe in them. I don’t believe that was my sister. I don’t know how I feel about you visiting her grave. I am not your brother and I can’t be your brother. And yes it was a nice gesture I guess but clearly you are focusing on the wrong thing. Let’s not talk about the weeds and the details. Let’s focus on you.” And completely shut down any further conversation about it.
In the past I have insisted and begged him to process him showing up at my apartment with me because I am still shaken up. He just always says “I never should’ve gotten involved like that but we are NOT going to talk about this ever again” and has always refused to hear how I felt about it.
He went back on vacation this past weekend and refused to take my call when I needed help, refused to text me, or anything. I called off work two days in a row because I was so devastated at his anger toward me and the gaslighting. It felt so unfair. I wanted to talk to him over the weekend because I was genuinely so hurt and felt like I truly lost him. He didn’t care.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
I had an appointment in person tonight. First in person one since I told him about everything. I am embarrassed and feel so guilty that I visited his sister’s grave behind his back. It makes me feel psychotic. But at least I was honest and didn’t wait until I got caught / did not gaslight him.
I have a major surgery tomorrow and he won’t help me with my dog. I’ve gone back to my parents for now until I am recovered.
I want to tell him how hurt I am but I have tried that. He never understands. I miss him. As a brother.
I ended up going to session and he asked me why I feel off in therapy. He literally said “other than me slightly having to pull back right now what have I really done?”
I don’t know if I ever can get him to see my side or my pain in this.
FINAL THOUGHTS / MISC
I was seeing him three times a week and one day he randomly cancelled my third session, and every week after “something came up” that day and he just kept canceling. Eventually he just exploded and said “I DO NOT work that third day anymore.” Without giving me any explanation or time to adjust or heads up. Like he clearly needed a break.
I was in the hospital just now for my surgery and I wanted so badly to reach out to him for support. I couldn’t. My heart hurts knowing that I once had this brotherly love in my life that I had lost.
Even now in session he uses the analogy of “if you were my sister” or “if you were my wife” after knowing I am clearly struggling with accepting he has pulled back. He used to say I am his friend over and over and now he just acts so cold. I know he’s trying to maintain boundaries. I know. But too late. He screwed with my emotions SO much.
I have horrible, horrible OCD and my brain keeps trying to do stupid things to fix this. I also keep asking myself over and over:
1. Will he ever take my dog back if I really needed him to? (obviously I can find other pet sitters but my brain is so hung up on —— if I asked him in an emergency situation, would he refuse?)
2. Will he ever stop ignoring my texts? I’ve reached out to him about being suicidal. About being in a state of panic. Previously, he would call me and stay on the phone with me while I got through an attack. I AM NOT EXPECTING THIS. I do not expect him to be available on demand. But his SUDDEN extreme pull back makes me think that I was the one that did something wrong.
3.Does this mean he emotionally does not care about me and my situation anymore? Did he just turn his emotions off? Did he ever even care? He would make me send him a text every day listing three things I am grateful for as a means to check in. He would also randomly send me quotes from books he was reading that he thought I could relate to. All facilitated by him. All of this has randomly stopped and it makes me feel like he hates me. Is it at all possible that this is a reflection of him not caring?
4.Is his pullback a temporary extreme and will he readjust and go back to being there for me? Or is this a permanent shift, likely? Can I expect things to even out or go back to him investing care and time? Again I KNOW the focus is on me having to do that for myself. I know I CAN move on from this if needed but I really, really began to love him (PLATONICALLY like family) and having him around. It breaks me so much. It was so important to me to have him.
I have been taking major time off of work and from seeing friend or leaving my house. I have completely self isolated. Refused medical treatment against doctor’s advice. Risked my job by calling off so much. Taking a leave of absence. Become bedridden. I know it sounds like I’ve become obsessed with fixing this situation and that seems psychotic and sad. But given my history with everything I have been through, this therapist had given me hope to feel like someone had my back. Losing him feels like a major major loss that’s soul crushing. Yes I have other people and no he cannot be my focus. But this is how I feel and I cannot help it. I do not want to be shamed for it. It just freaking hurts.
Again I know the majority of people will want to come at my therapist or me for doing wrong things. I know it doesn’t seem like this, but he really isn’t intentionally manipulative or gaslight-y, he’s just trying to regulate himself.
I have grace for him. And for myself. So please, please try and respond with compassion. I don’t want to lose him. But I feel like I kind of am.
What are your overall thoughts, in the most gentle way possible? Was I wrong for telling him the truth about the grave?

Edward Enninful, who is the first male and first black editor of British Vogue, told magazine staff yesterday that he will be taking on a new global role at the publisher Conde Nast. It comes amid rumours that there has been a power struggle between him and Vogue’s overall editor-in-chief Dame Anna ever since he took up his post in 2017 – which Vogue has denied. Enninful told staffers in London that his promotion was the result of discussions with bosses Anna Wintour and Roger Lynch, chief executive officer of Condé Nast Inc., about how he could play “a broader role in enhancing Vogue globally.” In an internal email sent yesterday, Mr Enninful said: ‘I am excited to share that from next year I will be stepping into the newly appointed position of editorial adviser of British Vogue and global creative and cultural adviser of Vogue.’
https://wwd.com/business-news/media/edward-enninful-promoted-new-global-role-vogue-1235670825/
Such a shame, I loved what British Vogue were doing. Seems such a shame, especially as it appears Edward was doing well and I don’t believe there was an issue with circulation and revenue dropping, which often leads to job changes. What was your favourite British Vogue cover under Edward? And who do you think will replace him?

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Dusk	2.0 TF2	$3.91 PP	-
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair	2.2 TF2	$4.28 PP	-
ELEX	1.1 TF2	$2.18 PP	-
EVERSPACE™	1.6 TF2	$3.16 PP	-
Elite: Dangerous	1.3 TF2	$2.67 PP	-
Empire of Sin	1.3 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
Endzone - A World Apart	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Euro Truck Simulator 2	1.1 TF2	$2.19 PP	-
Exanima	2.6 TF2	$5.24 PP	-
FTL: Faster Than Light	1.0 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
Fable Anniversary	3.7 TF2	$7.32 PP	-
Fallout 76	2.1 TF2	$4.22 PP	-
Fantasy General II	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Farming Simulator 17	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Firefighting Simulator - The Squad	3.8 TF2	$7.47 PP	-
First Class Trouble	0.6 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
For The King	1.0 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
Forager	1.3 TF2	$2.6 PP	-
Forts	2.3 TF2	$4.52 PP	-
Friday the 13th: The Game	3.0 TF2	$5.86 PP	-
Frostpunk	1.0 TF2	$2.07 PP	-
Full Metal Furies	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Furi	0.8 TF2	$1.62 PP	-
GRID - Ultimate	2.0 TF2	$3.97 PP	-
GRID™	0.9 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
GRIS	0.5 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Gang Beasts	3.0 TF2	$5.89 PP	-
Garden Paws	1.0 TF2	$2.05 PP	-
Gas Station Simulator	1.9 TF2	$3.68 PP	-
Gears 5	11.7 TF2	$23.1 PP	-
Gears Tactics	4.5 TF2	$8.93 PP	-
Generation Zero®	1.5 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.93 PP Refer To My Other Thread	May Multiplayer Bundle
Goat Simulator	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
Godlike Burger	1.1 TF2	$2.1 PP	-
Golf With Your Friends	0.9 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Gordian Quest	1.8 TF2	$3.58 PP	-
Gotham Knights	5.5 TF2	$10.83 PP	-
GreedFall	0.8 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
Grim Dawn	5.2 TF2	$10.28 PP	-
Grim Fandango Remastered	0.6 TF2	$1.09 PP	-
Guacamelee! 2	0.6 TF2	$1.19 PP	-
HITMAN™2 Gold Edition	3.1 TF2	$6.16 PP	-
HIVESWAP: Act 2	2.1 TF2	$4.18 PP	-
HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™	1.8 TF2	$3.66 PP	-
HROT	1.9 TF2	$3.7 PP	-
Haiku, the Robot	1.3 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.56 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle
Hard Bullet	1.2 TF2	$2.38 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Battle for the Bosporus	1.8 TF2	$3.53 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet Edition	2.7 TF2	$5.3 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor	0.9 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Waking the Tiger	1.9 TF2	$3.68 PP	-
Heave Ho	0.6 TF2	$1.1 PP	-
Heavy Rain	2.1 TF2	$4.15 PP	-
Hell Let Loose	5.2 TF2	$10.32 PP	-
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice	1.1 TF2	$2.26 PP	-
Hello, Neighbor!	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Hellpoint	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
Hero's Hour	0.5 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Heroes of Hammerwatch	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Hitman Absolution	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
Hitman Game of the Year Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.61 PP	-
Hollow Knight	2.8 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$5.48 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle
Homefront: The Revolution	0.8 TF2	$1.68 PP	-
Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak	0.4 TF2	$0.77 PP	-
Horizon Chase Turbo	0.4 TF2	$0.72 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number Digital Special Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Hotline Miami	0.8 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
House Flipper VR	0.9 TF2	$1.73 PP	-
House Flipper	2.8 TF2	$5.5 PP	-
Human: Fall Flat	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
HuniePop	0.4 TF2	$0.89 PP	-
Huntdown	1.3 TF2	$2.6 PP	-
Hurtworld	2.1 TF2	$4.07 PP	-
Hyper Light Drifter	1.6 TF2	$3.11 PP	-
Hypnospace Outlaw	0.8 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
I Expect You To Die	1.4 TF2	$2.68 PP	-
I-NFECTED	6.3 TF2	$12.5 PP	-
INSURGENCY	1.6 TF2	$3.16 PP	-
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
Imperator: Rome	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Injustice 2	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Injustice: Gods Among Us - Ultimate Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Into the Breach	1.5 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
Into the Radius VR	2.9 TF2	$5.84 PP	-
Ion Fury	1.6 TF2	$3.12 PP	-
Iron Harvest	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PP	-
Jalopy	0.9 TF2	$1.87 PP	-
Job Simulator	6.6 TF2	$13.01 PP	-
Jurassic World Evolution 2	2.4 TF2	$4.81 PP	-
Jurassic World Evolution	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Just Cause 2	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.63 PP	-
Just Cause 4: Complete Edition	2.0 TF2	$3.97 PP	-
KartKraft	3.2 TF2	$6.3 PP	-
Katamari Damacy REROLL	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Katana ZERO	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes	2.7 TF2	$5.42 PP	-
Kerbal Space Program	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Killer Instinct	8.8 TF2	$17.49 PP	-
Killing Floor 2	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
Killing Floor	0.9 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Kingdom Come: Deliverance	1.5 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
Kingdom: Two Crowns	1.0 TF2	$1.95 PP	-
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
LEGO Batman Trilogy	1.6 TF2	$3.07 PP	-
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
LEGO Lord of the Rings	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars	0.5 TF2	$1.05 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
LEGO® City Undercover	0.7 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition	1.7 TF2	$3.28 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
LEGO® Jurassic World™	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2 Deluxe Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2	0.7 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Force Awakens - Deluxe Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Force Awakens	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
LEGO® Worlds	1.1 TF2	$2.12 PP	-
LIMBO	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Labyrinth City: Pierre the Maze Detective	0.7 TF2	$1.47 PP	-
Labyrinthine	1.9 TF2	$3.76 PP	-
Lake	0.8 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
Last Oasis	1.6 TF2	$3.11 PP	-
Layers of Fear 2	6.3 TF2	$12.52 PP	-
Layers of Fear	0.6 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
Legion TD 2	1.7 TF2	$3.33 PP	-
Len's Island	4.2 TF2	$8.26 PP	-
Lethal League Blaze	1.5 TF2	$3.06 PP	-
Lethal League	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Library Of Ruina	3.2 TF2	$6.42 PP	-
Life is Feudal: Your Own	0.7 TF2	$1.39 PP	-
Life is Strange 2 Complete Season	0.7 TF2	$1.33 PP	-
Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)	4.5 TF2	$8.95 PP	-
Little Misfortune	2.3 TF2	$4.47 PP	-
Little Nightmares Complete Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.22 PP	-
Little Nightmares	1.0 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
Lobotomy Corporation Monster Management Simulation	5.0 TF2	$9.99 PP	-
Loot River	3.3 TF2	$6.47 PP	-
Lost Ember	1.4 TF2	$2.76 PP	-
Luck be a Landlord	2.4 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$4.77 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Luck of the Draw: Roguelike Deckbuilders Bundle
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience	1.5 TF2	$2.89 PP	-
MONSTER HUNTER RISE	4.1 TF2	$8.09 PP	-
MORTAL KOMBAT 11	1.8 TF2	$3.53 PP	-
MX vs ATV Reflex	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Mad Max	1.2 TF2	$2.32 PP	-
Mafia II: Definitive Edition	3.6 TF2	$7.11 PP	-
Mafia III: Definitive Edition	2.1 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
Mafia: Definitive Edition	2.2 TF2	$4.36 PP	-
Magicka 2 - Deluxe Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Magicka 2	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
Maneater	0.8 TF2	$1.63 PP	-
Manhunt	1.1 TF2	$2.18 PP	-
Mars Horizon	0.8 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Mass Effect™ Legendary Edition	7.8 TF2	$15.36 PP	-
Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne	0.6 TF2	$1.22 PP	-
Max Payne	1.0 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries	2.5 TF2	$5.02 PP	-
Medal of Honor	2.1 TF2	$4.24 PP	-
Mega Man Legacy Collection	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - Deluxe Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 War Chest Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Metro 2033 Redux	0.5 TF2	$1.05 PP	-
Metro Exodus	1.4 TF2	$2.79 PP	-
Metro Redux Bundle	1.1 TF2	$2.17 PP	-
Metro: Last Light Redux	1.1 TF2	$2.26 PP	-
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.71 PP	-
Middle-earth™: Shadow of War™	0.9 TF2	$1.8 PP	-
Middleearth Shadow of War Definitive Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.37 PP	-
Midnight Ghost Hunt	2.5 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$4.93 PP Refer To My Other Thread	May Multiplayer Bundle
Mini Ninjas	0.5 TF2	$1.05 PP	-
Mirror's Edge	2.2 TF2	$4.36 PP	-
Miscreated	1.4 TF2	$2.87 PP	-
Monster Hunter: World	3.5 TF2	$6.89 PP	-
Monster Sanctuary	0.6 TF2	$1.26 PP	-
Monster Train	0.5 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Moonlighter	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Moons of Madness	1.8 TF2	$3.48 PP	-
Mordhau	1.7 TF2	$3.32 PP	-
Mortal Shell	1.4 TF2	$2.77 PP	-
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Motorsport Manager	1.3 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
Move or Die	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Moving Out	1.4 TF2	$2.82 PP	-
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden - Deluxe Edition	1.5 TF2	$3.01 PP	-
My Friend Pedro	1.0 TF2	$1.91 PP	-
My Time At Portia	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
NARUTO SHIPPUDEN: Ultimate Ninja STORM 4 Road to Boruto	2.6 TF2	$5.23 PP	-
NARUTO SHIPPUDEN: Ultimate Ninja STORM Revolution	0.8 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
NASCAR Heat 5 - Ultimate Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.1 PP	-
NBA 2K13	4.8 TF2	$9.52 PP	-
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 4	1.6 TF2	$3.14 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker - Deluxe Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.13 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
Necromunda: Hired Gun	0.7 TF2	$1.45 PP	-
Neon Abyss	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures	3.7 TF2	$7.33 PP	-
Nine Parchments	2.2 TF2	$4.27 PP	-
No Time to Relax	2.9 TF2	$5.75 PP	-
Northgard	3.9 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$7.64 PP Refer To My Other Thread	May Multiplayer Bundle
Not For Broadcast	0.7 TF2	$1.36 PP	-
ONE PIECE BURNING BLOOD GOLD EDITION	2.0 TF2	$3.91 PP	-
ONE PIECE BURNING BLOOD	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
ONE PIECE PIRATE WARRIORS 3 Gold Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.38 PP	-
Observer	0.4 TF2	$0.74 PP	-
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty	0.4 TF2	$0.72 PP	-
One Step From Eden	0.5 TF2	$1.03 PP	-
Operation: Tango	0.4 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$0.8 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (May 2023)
Opus Magnum	1.1 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Orcs Must Die! 3	1.9 TF2	$3.69 PP	-
Outlast 2	0.6 TF2	$1.17 PP	-
Outlast	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
Outward	1.5 TF2	$2.94 PP	-
Overcooked	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
Overcooked! 2	1.3 TF2	$2.59 PP	-
Overgrowth	0.8 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Overlord II	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Owlboy	1.0 TF2	$2.04 PP	-
PAYDAY 2	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
PC Building Simulator	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
PGA TOUR 2K21	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PP	-
Paint the Town Red	2.4 TF2	$4.73 PP	-
Parkitect	5.5 TF2	$10.98 PP	-
Party Hard 2	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Pathologic 2	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Pathologic Classic HD	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Per Aspera	0.7 TF2	$1.39 PP	-
Phantom Doctrine	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Pillars of Eternity Definitive Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.66 PP	-
Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire	1.0 TF2	$2.07 PP	-
Pistol Whip	6.2 TF2	$12.33 PP	-
Plague Inc: Evolved	1.6 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Planet Coaster	1.8 TF2	$3.55 PP	-
Planet Zoo	2.0 TF2	$3.93 PP	-
Planetary Annihilation: TITANS	6.0 TF2	$11.91 PP	-
Portal Knights	1.3 TF2	$2.62 PP	-
Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid	2.8 TF2	$5.48 PP	-
PowerBeatsVR	1.0 TF2	$1.99 PP	-
PowerSlave Exhumed	1.4 TF2	$2.79 PP	-
Praey for the Gods	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
Prehistoric Kingdom	1.5 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
Prison Architect	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
Pro Cycling Manager 2019	1.3 TF2	$2.61 PP	-
Project Hospital	2.4 TF2	$4.82 PP	-
Project Wingman	2.6 TF2	$5.21 PP	-
Project Winter	1.1 TF2	$2.17 PP	-
Propnight	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Pumpkin Jack	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
Quantum Break	2.0 TF2	$4.0 PP	-
RESIDENT EVIL 3	2.3 TF2	$4.49 PP	-
RUGBY 20	1.3 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
RWBY: Grimm Eclipse	3.3 TF2	$6.62 PP	-
Ragnaröck	3.5 TF2	$6.93 PP	-
Rain World	1.1 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.19 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle
Raw Data	1.1 TF2	$2.17 PP	-
Re:Legend	1.1 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered	0.5 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Red Matter	4.5 TF2	$8.95 PP	-
Resident Evil / biohazard HD REMASTER	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Resident Evil 0 / biohazard 0 HD Remaster	1.2 TF2	$2.35 PP	-
Resident Evil 5 GOLD Edition	1.8 TF2	$3.53 PP	-
Resident Evil 5	1.1 TF2	$2.16 PP	-
Resident Evil 6	1.4 TF2	$2.81 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition	2.5 TF2	$4.88 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations	0.8 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
Retro Machina	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
Risen 2: Dark Waters Gold Edition	1.5 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
Risen 3 - Complete Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.07 PP	-
Risen	0.9 TF2	$1.82 PP	-
Rising Storm 2: Vietnam	0.7 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
River City Girls	1.4 TF2	$2.87 PP	-
Roboquest	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
RollerCoaster Tycoon Deluxe	1.1 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
Rollercoaster Tycoon 2: Triple Thrill Pack	1.7 TF2	$3.28 PP	-
Rubber Bandits	0.8 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Ryse: Son of Rome	1.7 TF2	$3.38 PP	-
SCP: Pandemic	2.2 TF2	$4.28 PP	-
SCUM	3.0 TF2	$5.96 PP	-
SOMA	2.4 TF2	$4.8 PP	-
SONG OF HORROR Complete Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.42 PP	-
STAR WARS® THE FORCE UNLEASHED II	0.8 TF2	$1.62 PP	-
STAR WARS™: Squadrons	1.6 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
SUPERHOT VR	2.3 TF2	$4.51 PP	-
SUPERHOT	0.8 TF2	$1.59 PP	-
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
Saint's Row The Third Remastered	2.3 TF2	$4.5 PP	-
Saints Row 2	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
Saints Row IV Game of the Century Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Saints Row IV	1.0 TF2	$2.05 PP	-
Saints Row the Third - The Full Package	1.0 TF2	$1.93 PP	-
Saints Row: The Third	0.6 TF2	$1.27 PP	-
Salt and Sanctuary	1.1 TF2	$2.15 PP	-
Sanctum 2	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
Satisfactory	6.6 TF2	$13.01 PP	-
Second Extinction	2.1 TF2	$4.11 PP	-
Secret Neighbor	0.9 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
Serious Sam 2	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Serious Sam 3: BFE	1.0 TF2	$1.99 PP	-
Serious Sam 4	4.0 TF2	$7.94 PP	-
Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem	2.3 TF2	$4.51 PP	-
Shadow Man Remastered	1.0 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Shadow Warrior 2	0.9 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Shadow of the Tomb Raider	3.2 TF2	$6.37 PP	-
Shenmue 3	1.3 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Shenmue I & II	1.3 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Shining Resonance Refrain	0.5 TF2	$0.96 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization VI : Platinum Edition	3.0 TF2	$6.03 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization VI	0.7 TF2	$1.47 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization® V: The Complete Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.76 PP	-
Sid Meiers Civilization IV: The Complete Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Siege of Centauri	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
SimCasino	1.3 TF2	$2.56 PP	-
SimplePlanes	1.9 TF2	$3.78 PP	-
Skullgirls 2nd Encore	1.2 TF2	$2.47 PP	-
Slap City	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Slay the Spire	3.6 TF2	$7.17 PP	-
Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition	1.0 TF2	$1.93 PP	-
Slime Rancher	1.7 TF2	$3.32 PP	-
Sniper Elite 3	1.1 TF2	$2.14 PP	-
Sniper Elite 4	1.3 TF2	$2.53 PP	-
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered	1.3 TF2	$2.5 PP	-
Sniper Elite V2	1.0 TF2	$2.05 PP	-
Sniper Ghost Warrior 3	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
Sonic Adventure DX	0.5 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Sonic Adventure™ 2	0.9 TF2	$1.86 PP	-
Sonic Mania	1.3 TF2	$2.6 PP	-
Soul Calibur VI	1.6 TF2	$3.24 PP	-
Source of Madness	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Space Engineers	2.7 TF2	$5.3 PP	-
Space Haven	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Spec Ops: The Line	0.9 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
SpeedRunners	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Spellcaster University	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Spelunky	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Spirit Of The Island	1.3 TF2	$2.59 PP	-
Spiritfarer	1.1 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.18 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (May 2023)
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated	1.3 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy	4.9 TF2	$9.65 PP	-
Star Renegades	3.0 TF2	$5.94 PP	-
Star Trek: Bridge Crew	4.4 TF2	$8.62 PP	-
Star Wars Republic Commando™	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Star Wars: Battlefront 2 (Classic, 2005)	1.4 TF2	$2.7 PP	-
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Star Wars® Empire at War™: Gold Pack	1.2 TF2	$2.39 PP	-
Starbound	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Starpoint Gemini Warlords	1.8 TF2	$3.48 PP	-
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition	3.0 TF2	$5.92 PP	-
Staxel	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
SteamWorld Quest: Hand of Gilgamech	0.9 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
Steel Division: Normandy 44	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Stellaris Galaxy Edition	1.8 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
Stellaris: Lithoids Species Pack	0.8 TF2	$1.49 PP	-
Stick Fight: The Game	0.6 TF2	$1.1 PP	-
Strategic Command WWII: World at War	2.2 TF2	$4.26 PP	-
Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection	1.5 TF2	$2.94 PP	-
Streets of Rogue	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PP	-
Stronghold 2: Steam Edition	2.0 TF2	$4.0 PP	-
Stronghold Crusader 2	0.9 TF2	$1.84 PP	-
Stronghold Crusader HD	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PP	-
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I just got back from a JSA tour on May 31st and thought I would relay the most current information. I used VVIP tour and we were scheduled for a 6am pickup near Myeongdong. The day before we received an email saying the pickup time had changed to 6:30am which we gladly accepted the extra sleep. One of the first things the tour guide spoke about was that the chaos that happened a few months back seemed to be resolved and tours would no longer be subject to the 4am scrambles to get to the DMZ in time to reserve their JSA spots. That said, JSA tours can be cancelled at any time for any reason by the military. The tour guide was first class, she's been doing this for many years and seemed to have personal connections with people that live inside the DMZ.
 
The dates that are available for the JSA are a bit random and appear on their website as they become available. I emailed them back in March asking about tour dates for June and they told me to check back in a few weeks. I checked their website the next day and June dates were posted. My advice to anyone that wants to go is to check their site daily as they randomly post them and fill up within a few days. The tour guide said best case scenario they get 4 random dates a month but often it’s only 2 or 3.
 
Traffic going back into Seoul was heavy and they dropped us off at another station that was a few stops away from our pickup address. I would recommend keeping a Tmoney card loaded in case they drop you off at a different spot on the way home.
 
Your passport will be checked multiple times while on the tour so don't forget to bring it.
 
Everywhere we stopped to get food or souvenirs accepted credit cards or cash.
 
There was an opportunity to buy postage stamps from North Korea as well as North Korean paper money. Who knows if they are actually real, but I thought it was a unique souvenir you could purchase.
 
I've appreciated all the posts you guys have made, hopefully this info useful for someone.

History shows how to stave it off.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/06/us-societal-trends-institutional-trust-economy/674260/
How has America slid into its current age of discord? Why has our trust in institutions collapsed, and why have our democratic norms unraveled?
All human societies experience recurrent waves of political crisis, such as the one we face today. My research team built a database of hundreds of societies across 10,000 years to try to find out what causes them. We examined dozens of variables, including population numbers, measures of well-being, forms of governance, and the frequency with which rulers are overthrown. We found that the precise mix of events that leads to crisis varies, but two drivers of instability loom large. The first is popular immiseration—when the economic fortunes of broad swaths of a population decline. The second, and more significant, is elite overproduction—when a society produces too many superrich and ultra-educated people, and not enough elite positions to satisfy their ambitions.
These forces have played a key role in our current crisis. In the past 50 years, despite overall economic growth, the quality of life for most Americans has declined. The wealthy have become wealthier, while the incomes and wages of the median American family have stagnated. As a result, our social pyramid has become top-heavy. At the same time, the U.S. began overproducing graduates with advanced degrees. More and more people aspiring to positions of power began fighting over a relatively fixed number of spots. The competition among them has corroded the social norms and institutions that govern society.
The U.S. has gone through this twice before. The first time ended in civil war. But the second led to a period of unusually broad-based prosperity. Both offer lessons about today’s dysfunction and, more important, how to fix it.
To understand the root causes of the current crisis, let’s start by looking at how the number of über-wealthy Americans has grown. Back in 1983, 66,000 American households were worth at least $10 million. That may sound like a lot, but by 2019, controlling for inflation, the number had increased tenfold. A similar, if smaller, upsurge happened lower on the food chain. The number of households worth $5 million or more increased sevenfold, and the number of mere millionaires went up fourfold.
On its surface, having more wealthy people doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. But at whose expense did elites’ wealth swell in recent years?
Starting in the 1970s, although the overall economy continued to grow, the share of that growth going to average workers began to shrink, and real wages leveled off. (It’s no coincidence that Americans’ average height—a useful proxy for well-being, economic and otherwise—stopped increasing around then too, even as average heights in much of Europe continued climbing.) By 2010, the relative wage (wage divided by GDP per capita) of an unskilled worker had nearly halved compared with mid-century. For the 64 percent of Americans who didn’t have a four-year college degree, real wages shrank in the 40 years before 2016.
As wages diminished, the costs of owning a home and going to college soared. To afford an average house, a worker earning the median wage in 2016 had to log 40 percent more hours than she would have in 1976. And parents without a college degree had to work four times longer to pay for their children’s college.
Even college-educated Americans aren’t doing well across the board. They made out well in the 1950s, when fewer than 15 percent of 18-to-24-year-olds went to college, but not today, when more than 60 percent of high-school grads immediately enroll. To get ahead of the competition, more college graduates have sought out advanced degrees. From 1955 to 1975, the number of students enrolled in law school tripled, and from 1960 to 1970, the number of doctorate degrees granted at U.S. universities more than tripled. This was manageable in the post–World War II period, when the number of professions requiring advanced degrees shot up. But when the demand eventually subsided, the supply didn’t. By the 2000s, degree holders greatly outnumbered the positions available to them. The imbalance is most acute in the social sciences and humanities, but the U.S. hugely overproduces degrees even in STEM fields.
This is part of a broader trend. Compared with 50 years ago, far more Americans today have either the financial means or the academic credentials to pursue positions of power, especially in politics. But the number of those positions hasn’t increased, which has led to fierce competition.
Competition is healthy for society, in moderation. But the competition we are witnessing among America’s elites has been anything but moderate. It has created very few winners and masses of resentful losers. It has brought out the dark side of meritocracy, encouraging rule-breaking instead of hard work.
All of this has left us with a large and growing class of frustrated elite aspirants, and a large and growing class of workers who can’t make better lives for themselves.
The decades that have led to our present-day dysfunction share important similarities with the decades leading to the Civil War. Then as now, a growing economy served to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. The number of millionaires per capita quadrupled from 1800 to 1850, while the relative wage declined by nearly 50 percent from the 1820s to the 1860s, just as it has in recent decades. Biological data from the time suggest that the average American’s quality of life declined significantly. From 1830 to the end of the century, the average height of Americans fell by nearly two inches, and average life expectancy at age 10 decreased by eight years during approximately the same period.
This popular immiseration stirred up social strife, which could be seen in urban riots. From 1820 to 1825, when times were good, only one riot occurred in which at least one person was killed. But in the five years before the Civil War, 1855 to 1860, American cities experienced no fewer than 38 such riots. We see a similar pattern today. In the run-up to the Civil War, this frustration manifested politically, in part as anti-immigrant populism, epitomized by the Know-Nothing Party. Today this strain of populism has been resurrected by Donald Trump.
Strife grew among elites too. The newly minted millionaires of the 19th century, who made their money in manufacturing rather than through plantations or overseas trade, chafed under the rule of the southern aristocracy, as their economic interests diverged. To protect their budding industries, the new elites favored high tariffs and state support for infrastructure projects. The established elites—who grew and exported cotton, and imported manufactured goods from overseas—strongly opposed these measures. The southern slaveholders’ grip on the federal government, the new elites argued, prevented necessary reforms in the banking and transportation systems, which threatened their economic well-being.
As the elite class expanded, the supply of desirable government posts flattened. Although the number of U.S. representatives grew fourfold from 1789 to 1835, it had shrunk by mid-century, just as more and more elite aspirants received legal training—then, as now, the chief route to political office. Competition for political power intensified, as it has today.
Those were cruder times, and intra-elite conflict took very violent forms. In Congress, incidences and threats of violence peaked in the 1850s. The brutal caning that Representative Preston Brooks of South Carolina gave to Senator Charles Sumner of Massachusetts on the Senate floor in 1856 is the best-known such episode, but it was not the only one. In 1842, after Representative Thomas Arnold of Tennessee “reprimanded a pro-slavery member of his own party, two Southern Democrats stalked toward him, at least one of whom was armed with a bowie knife,” the historian Joanne Freeman recounts. In 1850, Senator Henry Foote of Mississippi pulled a pistol on Senator Thomas Hart Benton of Missouri. In another bitter debate, a pistol fell out of a New York representative’s pocket, nearly precipitating a shoot-out on the floor of Congress.
This intra-elite violence presaged popular violence, and the deadliest conflict in American history.
The victory of the North in the Civil War decimated the wealth and power of the southern ruling class, temporarily reversing the problem of elite overproduction. But workers’ wages continued to lag behind overall economic growth, and the “wealth pump” that redistributed their income to the elites never stopped. By the late 19th century, elite overproduction was back, new millionaires had replaced the defeated slave-owning class, and America had entered the Gilded Age. Economic inequality exploded, eventually peaking in the early 20th century. By 1912, the nation’s top wealth holder, John D. Rockefeller, had $1 billion, the equivalent of 2.6 million annual wages—100 times higher than the top wealth holder had in 1790.
Then came the New York Stock Exchange collapse of 1929 and the Great Depression, which had a similar effect as the Civil War: Thousands of economic elites were plunged into the commoner class. In 1925, there were 1,600 millionaires, but by 1950, fewer than 900 remained. The size of America’s top fortune remained stuck at $1 billion for decades, inflation notwithstanding. By 1982, the richest American had $2 billion, which was equivalent to “only” 93,000 annual wages.
But here is where the two eras differed. Unlike the post–Civil War period, real wages steadily grew in the mid-20th century. And high taxes on the richest Americans helped reverse the wealth pump. The tax rate on top incomes, which peaked during World War II at 94 percent, stayed above 90 percent all the way until the mid-1960s. Height increased by a whopping 3 inches in roughly the first half of the 20th century. Life expectancy at age 10 increased by nearly a decade. By the 1960s, America had achieved a broad-based prosperity that was virtually unprecedented in human history.
The New Deal elites learned an important lesson from the disaster of the Civil War. The reversal of elite overproduction in both eras was similar in magnitude, but only after the Great Depression was it accomplished through entirely nonviolent means. The ruling class itself was an important part of this—or, at least, a prosocial faction of the ruling class, which persuaded enough of their peers to acquiesce to the era’s progressive reforms.
As the historian Kim Phillips-Fein wrote in Invisible Hands, executives and stockholders mounted an enormous resistance to the New Deal policies regulating labor–corporate relations. But by mid-century, a sufficient number of them had consented to the new economic order for it to become entrenched. They bargained regularly with labor unions. They accepted the idea that the state would have a role to play in guiding economic life and helping the nation cope with downturns. In 1943, the president of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce—which today pushes for the most extreme forms of neoliberal market fundamentalism—said, “Only the willfully blind can fail to see that the old-style capitalism of a primitive, free-shooting period is gone forever.” President Dwight Eisenhower, considered a fiscal conservative for his time, wrote to his brother:
Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things … Their number is negligible and they are stupid.
Barry Goldwater ran against Lyndon Johnson in 1964 on a platform of low taxes and anti-­union rhetoric. By today’s standards, Goldwater was a middle-of-the-road conservative. But he was regarded as radical at the time, too radical even for many business leaders, who abandoned his campaign and helped bring about his landslide defeat.
The foundations of this broad-based postwar prosperity—and for the ruling elite’s eventual acquiescence to it—were established during the Progressive era and buttressed by the New Deal. In particular, new legislation guaranteed unions’ right to collective bargaining, introduced a minimum wage, and established Social Security. American elites entered into a “fragile, unwritten compact” with the working classes, as the United Auto Workers president Douglas Fraser later described it. This implicit contract included the promise that the fruits of economic growth would be distributed more equitably among both workers and owners. In return, the fundamentals of the political-economic system would not be challenged. Avoiding revolution was one of the most important reasons for this compact (although not the only one). As Fraser wrote in his famous resignation letter from the Labor Management Group in 1978, when the compact was about to be abandoned, “The acceptance of the labor movement, such as it has been, came because business feared the alternatives.”
We are still suffering the consequences of abandoning that compact. The long history of human society compiled in our database suggests that America’s current economy is so lucrative for the ruling elites that achieving fundamental reform might require a violent revolution. But we have reason for hope. It is not unprecedented for a ruling class—with adequate pressure from below—to allow for the nonviolent reversal of elite overproduction. But such an outcome requires elites to sacrifice their near-term self-interest for our long-term collective interests. At the moment, they don’t seem prepared to do that.